Chapter 7
The weekend went by largely uneventful for Niles, but it seemed to drag on forever. He found that he was just going through the motions at work, trying to find ways to keep himself busy, to not think too much about anything but work. It proved impossible, of course. Joe had a second person who usually covered weekend work, so his absence in the mornings just seemed to serve as a reminder to Niles that Joe could be with Daphne at that very moment. Niles didn't even know why he felt so jealous. He barely knew Daphne. Joe asked her out first. It's not like Niles had some sort of claim to her. But the sting of rejection, even though it wasn't technically a rejection, still hurt.
Niles was surprised when on Sunday just after lunch, his father paid him a visit. Niles was mostly done with his usual day to day duties, and was doing a bit of idle stocktaking to kill time and distract his mind when Martin walked in with Eddie.
"Dad? Uh, hi. What's up?" Niles stood, watching Eddie for a moment, before deciding he would let him stay inside the store. For now.
"Ah, I realized after your visit Friday night that I hadn't come by to see the shop up and running." Martin stood in the middle of the room and looked around, smiling and nodding intently. "Nice. Lots of flowers."
Niles nodded slowly, feeling the familiar awkwardness that always seemed present when he was alone with his father creep back. The feeling that they never knew what to say to each other. "Uh, can I get you something to drink? Tea? Coffee?"
"Coffee would be good. Black."
Niles fetched Martin a chair and made their coffee. Bringing it back out, they sat at the counter together in silence, sipping their drinks. Eddie, after an initial sniff around the store, settled down on the floor at Martin's feet for a nap.
"So..." Niles wasn't sure what to say.
"So..." It appeared that Martin didn't either. They sat there in awkward silence again for another moment, when Martin spoke again. "You went to the opera with Frasier the other night?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Frasier said you hadn't been for a while."
"No... I was trying to avoid going out for a while, until the gossip about me and Maris died down."
"Is there really that much gossip left about your divorce? I mean, it's Maris. I would think they'd have moved on to talking about the latest crazy thing she's done by now."
Niles shrugged. In all honesty, he didn't know. "Not a lot, per se, but we knew the same people, frequented the same social circles. So Maris was - is - mentioned often. It's easier to stay away."
The thing that kept Niles away the most - more than the mutual acquaintances who would bring up whatever Maris and her affair partner were doing together, more than the pictures in the society pages and the blacklisting from events he and Maris used to attend together - was the chance that Niles would run into Maris. With him. And seeing them together, that they might be affectionate to each other in front of him, was a thought that sent him into a panic more often than not, ending any hope of a night out.
"So you let them win." Martin didn't believe in giving in.
"Not win. I just enacted a tactical retreat." Niles gave a strained smile. He knew he was a coward, but they didn't need to know how much of a coward. The panic attacks were something he hadn't mentioned to his brother or father, who thought he hadn't had one since Niles left collage.
"But you're going out again now?"
Niles shrugged again noncommittally. "The opera wasn't too bad. And I do miss going out. So... I guess we'll see."
Martin finished his coffee, placing the mug on the counter. "Niles, I won't say I worry about you a lot in general. You're an adult - you're pretty good at looking after yourself. But, you seemed to be struggling a lot with your divorce. Then, when you quit your job and opened this place, you stopped coming around. That wouldn't have mattered if you were going back to doing the stuff you used to do - it's not like you visited me or Frasier a lot in the past. But you didn't. I..." Martin faltered here a little. He wasn't prone to giving emotional speeches. "Well, I was a little worried. But I didn't know what to do. And if Frasier couldn't get you to do anything, what hope did I have of you listening to me?"
"Dad-"
"I'm not done." Martin took a deep breath, and looked around the shop again. "You seem to be doing better now. I don't know if it's this shop, or this woman you met, but... I'm glad. Actually," he added with a smirk, "I do know. It's definitely the woman."
"Daphne." Niles was unaware that he smiled as he said her name.
"Yeah. You seem... happy when you talk about her. And not when-you-were-married-to-Maris happy. But actually happy."
"Really? Because I clearly remember a lot of commiserating with me Friday night. Some sorrows were drowned." Niles tried to laugh it off, but Martin shook his head.
"I know you weren't feeling great about missing your chance to ask her out, but you still seemed happier than you have been in months. I think she is doing something good for you."
"Thanks, Dad. I think so, too."
"So... wanna tell me what she's actually like?"
"No. You'll just tell Frasier."
"Guilty." They laughed, and it was a genuine release of the tension they felt around each other. "Just tell me one thing - is she anything like Maris?"
Niles shook his head. "The complete opposite, actually."
Martin grinned. "Perfect."
They chatted a little while longer, and Niles showed Martin around the finished store and even the apartment on the first floor. Martin managed to get upstairs, but it was clear that with his hip it wasn't something could manage on a regular basis. Martin made similar noises to the ones downstairs, which Niles knew were probably at least partly feigned - their tastes were even less aligned than Martin and Frasier's - and he even made a couple of suggestions on how to fix up a bit of cracked masonry in the small living room. The instructions went over Niles' head, but he felt like he was finally having a proper father-son conversation. It felt good.
Martin ended his visit by hinting that Niles should come over again for dinner next Friday, and left a small piece of advice. "Don't give up, Niles. If it's important to you, if it's something you really care about, then it's worth fighting for."
Niles wasn't sure if Martin was talking about his life, his shop, or his feelings for Daphne. Perhaps it was all three.
Monday dawned a dreary and cool April day. Niles felt slightly apprehensive, knowing that Daphne would be dropping by in a couple of hours with his weekly tea order and their now routine cup together. He felt weird thinking about how she might have spent her time with Joe. Was it just a couple of hours on Friday? Was it the whole weekend? Did they- No. Don't think about that.
But what Niles worried about the most was if Daphne wanted to talk about her date; especially if things were going well. Not that Niles wanted to hear that it was a disaster, (well, maybe a little) but rather that he didn't want to hear about it at all.
Daphne arrived right on time. She had a bright red coat on and seemed to brighten the day considerably just by entering the store. Her good mood was infectious, as always, and despite Niles' anxious fretting all morning, his own mood seemed to lift as she entered.
"Morning, Niles! Have you been busy?"
"As a bee, Daphne." He smiled as she crossed the room, and placed the jar of tea down in front of him on the counter.
Daphne grinned. "I think you'll be pleased with the flavor I've chosen for you this week. You're officially the first to try the finished product."
Niles picked it up, and looked at the jar. The handmade label had the familiar wording of her store name followed by the flavor: Ceylon Black Tea with Ginger, Peach & Vanilla Bean
"Oh! You've finished it already?" Niles was surprised.
"Yep. The vanilla bean was the perfect addition, so I only had to tweak it a bit more over the weekend to get the blend perfect. It's the special flavor in the store this week, and I thought the first jar should go to you. As thanks for your help."
Niles felt his stomach tighten at her comment. Me. She wanted me to have the first jar.
"W-would you like a cup?"
"Do flowers bloom in spring?"
Niles was working on the last of the orders he had for delivery that day, while Daphne leaned forward against the counter, cradling her cup of tea in her hands as she talked. Niles' tea was off the the side, and he sipped at it as he worked. Nothing had been mentioned of her date with Joe, which Niles was grateful for. In fact, if he hadn't been told by Daphne last Friday, he wouldn't even have guessed anything was different. Instead, she was venting about a mix up with one of her suppliers.
"...so, I had to call the company again to get the tea leaves replaced. It was so much more effort than I would have thought." Daphne exhaled audibly, clearly frustrated.
Niles nodded in agreement, no stranger to these kinds of frustrations. "Suppliers are always like that. I had a difficult time trying to get a refund on more than thirty roses that were completely unusable on delivery. I had to threaten cancelling my contract with them to get any sort of recourse."
"Unacceptable. So what did you do? Did you end up change suppliers?"
"Not yet. I've been reaching out to a couple of other places - they charge a bit more, but the roses I've been getting from one of the other farms are much nicer. But I'll have to raise prices to justify the extra cost, so I haven't decided yet."
The buzz at the back door signaled that Joe had arrived for the orders for today. Niles' heart leapt into his throat at the sound, realizing this'll be the first time he would see Joe since he found out that he was dating Daphne. And Daphne was here, so she would most likely want to see him. Would they kiss in front of him? He didn't think he could deal with that. Niles felt his chest tighten slightly, and his breath quicken, a panic attack threatening to set in. Oh no. Not now. Not in front of Daphne. He glanced at the clock, taking a deep breath as he did so.
"Joe's early." He said it as calmly as he could, wondering if he sounded out of the ordinary.
Daphne frowned, and looked at her watch. "Have you got many left to finish?"
"This is the last one. Shouldn't take more than a few minutes."
Daphne stood. "I'll tell him that you'll need at least ten more minutes, then. I'll be right back."
Daphne disappeared into the back room. As soon as she left Niles ran upstairs and into the bathroom, wanting to take cover somewhere private as his panic attack took hold. He gasped and leaned against the closed door, putting his head between his legs for a moment, doing his best to keep his breathing even and his mind from racing. The panic attack started to subside, luckily not lasting as long as it could have. He remained in the bent over position until his chest no longer felt like it was being squeezed.
Niles stood up again, mad at himself. With Maris, he had some right at least to have this reaction. He didn't have that right with Daphne. After all, who was he to her? Little more than an acquaintance? They'd barely known each other long enough for him to even be considered a friend, no matter what he thought of her.
Looking in the mirror, Niles sized himself up. His face was pale, yet his cheeks were flushed from the blood rushing to his head from bending forward; his hair slightly mussed from the frantic position changes. But that wasn't what struck him the most about his appearance. While he was no longer dressing in Armani suits every day like he did as a psychiatrist, he was still wearing tailored trousers, and expensive wool knit sweaters. He still looked like he had money - like he came from money.
What am I doing? He felt out of place in this store - around people like Daphne and Joe. Like I'm roleplaying as another person, and fooling no one. Acting out a life that doesn't belong to me.
But his old life didn't feel like it was his either. Yet, the same anxieties plagued him no matter where he was.
Niles splashed a little water on his face, fixed his hair, and pushed those thoughts away before heading back downstairs. Daphne was waiting near the counter, looking worried. She'd noticed he had disappeared. "Niles, is everything okay?"
"I'm fine. I just... thought I left something upstairs," he finished lamely. "Sorry. Is Joe okay to wait?"
Daphne nodded. "Did you need a hand?"
"No, I'm okay."
Niles put his head down, and focused intently on the final bouquet. Daphne sat quietly to the side, finishing her tea. Niles noted that she was sitting in here with him, instead of outside with Joe. That made him feel a little better. Maybe they don't have such a strong relationship as I thought. It has only been a couple of dates.
When he finished, Niles gathered up the other bouquets, and carried them outside. Joe was leaning against his truck, staring at his phone while smoking a cigarette. He straightened as Niles appeared, dropping the cigarette to the ground and grinding it into the concrete with his boot to extinguish it.
"Mornin', Dr Crane. Sorry I'm a bit ahead of schedule - one of my earlier stops didn't have anything for me."
"Quite all right. Thanks for waiting. Just got three deliveries today."
Niles had started handing the orders over, when he noticed Daphne hadn't followed him outside. He looked around, slightly confused, until Joe caught his attention. "Dr Crane?"
"Hm?"
"Need the delivery schedule."
Of course he'd left it inside. "I'll just go get it."
Niles found Daphne still sitting near the counter, sipping her tea. Niles picked up the delivery list he had left behind, and looked at Daphne, who smiled when he entered.
"Is everything all right?" As much as he didn't want to see her with Joe, Niles wondered if things weren't going well. She seemed to be avoiding him.
"Fine. Are you all done outside?"
"Not yet. I've just got to give Joe the delivery list." He gestured to the document in his hand. "Did... you want to come say goodbye?"
She shook her head. "I'll see him later today."
Niles furrowed his brow in confusion. "Was your date - I mean, not to pry, but are you... avoiding him?"
She smiled. "Oh, not at all. Actually, once he's done with work we're going out for lunch. I just... I had a gut feeling that I should wait inside until he left."
A gut feeling? "You mean, like..." Niles couldn't believe he was saying this, "...a psychic premonition?"
"Pretty much. I sometimes get feelings about certain things. And the feeling I'm getting right now is that I should stay put inside while you finish up with Joe." Daphne shrugged. "I don't always know what these premonitions mean, but I've learned its best to do what they're telling me."
Niles didn't question it. He went and gave Joe the delivery list; staying outside as Joe's van pull away, deep in thought. They've got another date today.
Niles already knew Daphne took Mondays off. He'd half considered over the last couple of weeks doing the same - lining his work schedule up with hers. Previously he'd been working seven days a week, not wanting to give himself more than a few hours of free time a day that might cause him to dwell on the negatives in his life. But what would he do with a day off now, anyway? Niles would want to spend it with Daphne, but she was clearly spending her free time with Joe now.
Niles headed back inside, a new feeling settling over him, a loneliness of sorts. He paused in the doorway, watching Daphne looking over the leftover cuttings scattered across the counter. She gathered a couple of flowers together, tying them into a loose bouquet with an offcut piece of twine. She noticed him and smiled, holding the flowers up.
Red roses. Niles sighed at the irony. The flower that signified love. "Not bad," he said, a smile on his face while forcing his conflicting feelings into a place deep inside.
"Just thought I'd give it a shot. It's nowhere near as nice as the ones you do."
Daphne undid the twine, allowing the bouquet to come apart. She laid the roses out in a row neatly in front of her as Niles started gathering up the flowers and returning what he could back to their respective spots in the store. He paused, and saved one rose, handing it to Daphne as he returned.
"What's this for?"
"It's on the house, for keeping me company this morning." Because I think I have feelings for you.
Daphne took the rose, using it to bop him gently on the nose. "Sucker. I'd do that for free. But thank you. It's beautiful." She seemed to be blushing slightly as she lifted the bloom to her own nose and inhaled the scent. "It's got a lovely smell. Sometimes flowers have a scent so weak you can't detect it at all. Was this one from your new supplier?"
Niles nodded. "I think I'm going to go with them, and just put my prices up. It'll be worth it for the quality."
"It's always worth it for the quality." Daphne agreed. She looked at the clock on the wall, and sighed. "I need to get going. I've got some shopping to do before I meet up with Joe later."
There was the reminder that she was with someone else. Niles could hear what Frasier and Martin told him Friday echoing in his mind.
"If they've only just started dating, there's no reason why you can't try asking her out. They're most likely not even exclusive yet." Frasier's thoughts were that they were barely a couple and the relationship didn't count yet. "Act now anyway."
Martin's own words were similar. "When I first met your mother, she was sort of seeing this other guy. But, I was persistent in how I felt. And it worked."
Niles hesitated, feeling the words forming on his tongue, but they died before they reached his lips. No. She's dating someone else. All I'll do is confuse the situation, and make things awkward between us. I don't want to risk this. I need her too much.
So instead, he smiled and wished her a good day, content to wait to see her tomorrow.
Later that evening, Niles started putting together Daphne's bouquets. It was something he did the evening before delivery, as it allowed him to think about Daphne freely while keeping his hands and mind largely occupied.
He tried not to think about her spending time with Joe. Instead, Niles tried to picture how they would spend time together. What would they even do if they dated? With Maris, she dictated where Niles took her when they started dating. She wanted to be wined and dined despite her habit to barely touch her food. It was about being seen by people at the most expensive and exclusive places she knew. But trying to imagine a date with Daphne in those types of places just didn't seem right.
And beyond that, Niles had no idea what else he could do. Hell, Niles didn't even know if he was someone people wanted to date. He was woefully out of practice with courtship by almost a decade, and before Maris, had very little experience with relationships. Niles was sure even if he asked Daphne out now, and if by some miracle she even agreed, he would make such a fool of himself everything would fall apart.
Better to wait. Maybe things won't work out with Joe. Maybe what he was feeling for Daphne would fade. Maybe what he was feeling wasn't even real and Niles was just latching on to the first person to show him genuine friendship since his divorce. Wasn't that how he ended up with Maris? By latching on to the first person to tolerate him for more than a week?
He sighed yet again, and took the finished bouquets to the floral fridge in the back room to ensure they stayed preserved before delivery, before heading upstairs to bed.
