Chapter 86: What good is confession for the soulless?
Realistically, she should have known that this was going to be the response when she brought the matter up, when she was finally ready to bring the matter up with her father, but that didn't really prepare her for the expected words. No amount of preparation would have made her ready for something like that, nevertheless, she stood tall and firm as she looked Seteth in the eye, her father regarded her with the same silent stare he had levelled at her for the last minute or so.
Perhaps it was an effort to break her will and make her stand down but she wasn't going to back down on this issue. Certainly not on this issue, she had made her choice and she was going to stick with it. Besides, it had been his decision to bring her to the academy in the first place with the intention of allowing her to learn, it was through no fault of hers that she wanted to choose how and which class she learned with.
Seteth maintained the silent stare for another few seconds, then made a low and exasperated noise and brought his hands up, placing them flat against his face and groaning into his palms. She felt her eye twitch as she watched him run through the song and dance of getting exasperated with her, he was truly making it out to be far more problematic than it really was.
"Do you truly intend to run through an entire theatre performance, father?" She asked with a dry tone in her words, flattening her features and keeping her attention firmly on his face. He dragged his hands down and dropped them onto his desk, though his eyes remained closed. There was a faint hiss as he took in a sharp breath through his nose and then exhaled. When he opened his eyes again, there was something there that looked almost like annoyance but not quite.
"Do not think that I am unaware of what has spurred this onwards, Flayn." His words were delivered with no small amount of resignation as he shook his head from side to side. Drumming his fingers on his desk and rolling his jaw. "It is not something purely related to your own education, you are doing this merely so that you have a chance to be stationed close to Professor Eisner."
She tried very hard not to wince at the accusation, all the same she kept her features tight as she looked at Seteth. Though it quickly became apparent that he didn't need a response from her if the sigh was any indication, shaking his head from side to side briefly. "This is not…she is not your problem Flayn."
"She's not a problem." Flayn corrected him with a bit of tension in her voice, replying quickly enough to stop him from getting another word in. "She is not an equation that needs solving, she is a person who has gone through quite an ordeal and is in need of help-"
"And it is help she will receive if she so desires it." Seteth was the one on the offensive this time, hardening his tone a little and making it clear he was taking the floor from her this time. "It is not a matter of finding a bird with a broken wing and nursing it back to health. Professor Eisner has gone through an ordeal, that is true, but appearing in front of her day after day to the point of stalking her-"
He brought up his hand when she made to defend herself from the accusation, showing the flat of his palm and stopping her from getting a word out. The expression he levelled towards her was one of disappointment. "Yes, it is and I know. I am not so poorly informed as to the goings on around the Monastery as of late, and your efforts were blatant enough that I was having to dissuade myself of rumours that you became infatuated with one of the students within the Blue Lion class."
That part of the sentence was delivered with a twitch of the eye, then he paused for a moment and squinted at her as though searching for something. She knew what he was looking for and crossed her arms over her chest, frowning heavily at him as she did so. "Even if that were the case, it is no business of you whom I spend my time with or who has managed to earn my affections, Father. I am not a child."
"You are." He responded with a flat tone of voice, then cut in once again before she could speak. "And do not compare yourself to the children of the monastery. I am well aware of how old you really are but in the grand scheme of our race, you are barely even a teenager. Your behaviour is also prone to acting rashly-"
"Rashly?" She parroted the word back to him, not even bothering to keep the disbelief off her face as she did so. Adjusting herself, she uncrossed her arms and placed her hands on her lips, leaning forwards slightly and levelling a dull stare towards her father. Of everyone who could have said something like that and accused her of being immature, it had to come from him. "Forgive me if I do not so quickly take lessons on maturity from someone who will actively spy on those that I have friendly relations with because he is worried about their influence upon me."
Seteth pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a low groan "This right here is the…no, I am not going to let you steer this argument away." he dropped the hand and pursed his lips. "I will admit to being protective if that will grant you some manner of small triumph in this argument, but we are not here to debate my parenting. We are here to debate you virtually harassing one of the staff members day in and day out to the point that you are willing to join their class."
Flayn shuffled on her feet, then glanced to the side. "So long as I am within a classroom and learning, what is the harm in it?"
"The harm is that you will be far too focused on trying to solve the Professors emotional woes to actually learn." Seteth argued, waving his hand to her. "And she will be far too focused on trying to keep you paying attention to actually teach. I am well aware that you mean well, your intentions are pure and I am very proud of you for that…but there comes a time when the best thing for you to do is to stand back and let-"
"No."
Sighing loudly, Seteth angled his head back and stared towards the ceiling. "Flayn…this is not something that you can merely reject."
"I can and I will." She took a step forwards, reaching out and placing her hands against the desk and looking straight towards him, locking eyes with her father as he lowered his head and stared at her. The disapproval was still apparent now, especially when she knew what he was feeling, but perhaps there was still something there. So long as he realised this was not something she was going to back down on. "She is…you cannot expect me to just sit back and watch this unfold while hoping for the best. I will not play the role of an observer in all of this."
"You do not have much choice in the matter." His eyes narrowed at her as he brought himself up, interlocking his fingers together and straightening out his posture. "I do not want to have to bar you from speaking with the Professor but you cannot force yourself to help her. As much as you might not like to believe so, you are a cordial acquaintance with Professor Eisner at best, unless there is something else I am not yet aware of?"
He brought up his hand "I am not going to deny the fact that perhaps she might need some assistance but I am certainly not going to allow you to force your charity upon her. If Professor Eisner needs help then she can well seek it out or she is just as liable to receive it from her father or perhaps even one of her students." he shrugged "Either way, I believe she had endured enough of…our intervention in her personal life."
Flayn felt her lips part as she stared at him, there was shock that flooded through her at first, then that was swiftly followed by indignation and perhaps a little bit of betrayal. Even if he did not mean in the same context, he was putting her on the exact same level as Rhea. Something that Flayn would never, not in a thousand years, ever see herself doing because it was wrong and immoral in every conceivable notion. "Are you…are you really going to compare me with-"
"In principle, if not in practice." Seteth confirmed, washing away any doubts in her mind with that cold nod of the head and empty voice. His eyes bore into her own with a challenge to them. "Can you truly not see what you are doing here? I will not make claims as to what the Professor is currently feeling because I do not know her thoughts. I am not her father, but I am her superior and I am your father. So in the interest of keeping some semblance of professionalism and preventing further emergences of strained relations, I would advise you to stop pestering the Professor."
Rolling her jaw from side to side, Flayn found as though her words were utterly failing to manifest themselves. Sweeping her hands off the table and jerking them back to her side with such force that she actually struck herself, she came very close to glaring at Seteth but managed to hold back her emotions.
She was not going to lose whatever ground she had and debase herself by throwing a tantrum because he said no. Instead, she closed her eyes, breathing in deeply and then exhaling through her mouth, calming herself with each breath. It worked to an extent, at least she no longer felt like shouting at her father, but at the same time there was still annoyance there. Perhaps a bit of anger as well that he was content with just leaving things as they stood. Ignoring the problem and hoping for the best was never a viable strategy.
Opening her eyes once more, she knew he must have seen what decision she had come to because he grimaced and closed his own eyes, perhaps to stop himself from visibly caving to her or perhaps because he was just too tired to argue. Either way, Flayn knew that they were just going to have to agree to disagree.
"If the Professor has issues with my 'pestering'." She painted the word with a bit more vitriol than she might have intended, but it was the way he had phrased her attempts at help that really drove a nail into her heart. The logical part of her knew that he meant well, that much was true. That was something she knew, he really did mean well but at the same time, he was in a position where he couldn't afford to get too involved with these sorts of things, especially now. "Then she can tell me herself and I will gladly step back and allow her space. Until such a time comes, I will try my best to convince her that there are those with green hair that actually have her interests at heart."
"I am saying this because it is in her interests." Seteth didn't quite snap, but his response was rather sudden as his eyes flew open. Dragging his hand down his face and letting out a long and exasperated breath as he did so. "Flayn…some individuals are not quite as open with their emotions as others. The Professor is one such person. Ignoring all of that, she has only recently learned that her mother was an experiment at the hands of the Archbishop who used her resources to fund this…hideous plan which spanned centuries and that she was to be the latest iteration and that it was only by the good graces of Rhea that she was even allowed to escape in the first place to have a life of her own."
He pressed a finger into his chest "I have known Rhea longer than you, much longer than anyone else still in this world, and I can say with absolute certainty that my own feelings towards her are conflicted right now."
Flayn gaped "Co-conflicted? She-"
"She acted out of grief and despair." Seteth threw his hands up "What she did was inexcusable but that does not alter the fact that once Nemesis was dead, we all abandoned her. You…you were asleep and I took you away and hid us both. Goddess only knows what became of Indech and Macuil…they're somewhere in the world, if they're even still alive, and have chosen not to resurface." he brought up his hands "No. It isn't what I would have done but I barely knew the Goddess. Certainly not to the extent that Rhea knew her so I cannot say what I would have done if you were the one who…"
Shaking his head, he waved his hands "Just…if you will not listen to me, at least…at least stop following her around. That will only serve to make things worse for all involved." his voice lost all sense of energy to it, his movements became lethargic as he fell backwards and slapped his left hand over the top of his face, covering his eyes. "...If you are to join a class, it won't be until after the mission and I will have discussions with all of the Professors first and foremost…I will not play favourites here. Not even with you."
"...Very well." She supposed she should have been disappointed but it was difficult given how tired he looked. Especially since Rhea had hidden herself away in her room and refused to come out.
As she left her fathers office, she spared a glance towards the room where Rhea was still within. She knew Rhea was still there because she had not left it, just hiding away in shame and barely doing anything. Not even accepting visitors, the current story spread by Seteth was that she was sick and currently recovering, well wishers from across the monastery had offered their prayers and Catherine had very nearly led a detachment of knights into the town to tear open every medicinal shop and offered to travel all the way to Fargheus to get the best healers.
Of course, Flayn could always appreciate kindness and she was not one to say that it was being wasted on someone like Rhea, merely that this was the consequences of her own actions and hiding away wasn't going to change anything about what she had done. Arguably, she had made everyone's lives more difficult. Especially her father, who now had to take up the role of covering a majority of Rhea's responsibilities in her stead.
He had a lot to do before all of this and the problems had only mounted since then. She felt her lips slowly pull themselves into a strained frown as she stared at the wooden door, almost as though it was taunting her to barge in and drag Rhea out. Yet she didn't quite have the strength to do something like that. Either physically or mentally, what was she even supposed to say?
She'd made herself rather clear to Rhea about how she felt about it during the reveal and quite frankly, Flayn didn't trust herself not to lose face during an argument and bring it up again. If only because it would make things worse than they already were. With a shake of her head, she resumed her walk towards her room. She needed time to think about these things over, namely how best to approach the Professor because she knew that Seteth would indeed bar her from seeing them if she continued to approach them that way.
There was also the chance the Professor was starting to catch on to what she was doing in the first place, Flayn had been careful enough to disguise her actions as coincidence but she was sure that the Professor would eventually realise that their meetings were not accidental and she didn't want to scare the Professor away with the idea that she was just stalking her. She wasn't, she was just following her to make sure that she hadn't been too affected and was seeing if there was anything she needed.
That wasn't stalking.
…Was it?
The seed of doubt nestled its way into her head for a brief moment, but only for a moment. Dismissing the thought just as quickly as it had arrived, she reassured herself that she wasn't doing anything untoward. It was just a case of her keeping an extra close eye or-or being really concerned. It wasn't something creepy or anything like that. She was absolutely certain that it was just Seteth exaggerating once again. He always did something like that when he wanted to try and win an argument anyway.
With that little confirmation to herself, she pushed open the door to her room and then nearly jumped out of her skin when instead of being greeted by her own empty room, she found herself staring at Goetia sitting at the foot of her bed with a book floating in front of his face, the pages opened up and the golden haired man seemingly engrossed in reading it. The myriad of questions that flooded through her mind was instantly trounced by the simple observation of which book he was actually reading once she got a look at the cover from her angle.
Mortification flooded her, a feeling of her heart stopping and the blood caught between rushing up her face and being drained from it all at the same time. She didn't make a literate noise either, instead sputtering several times - speaking the language of the horses to the outside observer - as she tried and failed to come up with something to stay, remaining locked in the doorway as her legs refused to obey her.
"G-G-Goe-"
His left hand came up, holding up a single finger to silence her while his eyes remained unmoving from the pages. She felt her own eyes bulge at what he had just done and the fact it actually worked, her jaw snapped shut with an audible click as he hummed with what seemed to be mild interest for a moment, moving the hand around and scratching the underside of his chin as though he was studying something profound and was not reading the rather…
Exciting romantic novel she had procured from the more mature section of the library. She was moderately grateful that the new librarian had done nothing to try and rat her out just yet, she would need to pass along her thanks to Sister Wiebke for her discretion on this matter. Except that was the least of her worries right now as she stood there and watched as Goetia read from the book without an ounce of shame to be seen on his face.
After what felt like decades - and it was an experience she could relate to, due to her long life - Goetia eventually closed the book up and floated it across the room and onto her bedside table with a disturbing amount of gentleness to him. After what felt like another few years, he did finally speak. "It was not the literature I had expected one of your people to read, given your humanoid form is secondary…though I find myself curious as to how you perceive the human act of procreation."
And just like that, the heat flooded her face once again, virtually throwing herself into the room and whirling around, swinging the door shut but not quite fast enough to cause it to slam, the very last thing she needed was for there to be a commotion in here. She didn't need Seteth marching down the hallway to find her and Goetia alone in her bedroom with her mature literature on full display to the world. She would die of embarrassment then and there, if she wasn't about to do so in the next ten minutes.
Breathing in and out, she eventually mustered up the strength to speak although her words were still crooked, barely coming out above a strained whisper. "Goetia…why are you in my room?"
She received a disinterested grunt in response, not quite the reply she had been hoping to get from him as an answer. "A peculiar thing to ask. Was it not you who said that your door would remain open to me if there was ever at time that I would come to speak with you?"
Her head fell forwards, a dull thud sounded out where her forehead made contact with the door, her eyes clenching themselves shut for a few seconds, a deep breath leaving her nostrils as she turned herself around, eyes remaining closed until her back was pressed against the door, creaking her eyelids open and staring straight towards Goetia, at this point the embarrassment had all but abandoned her and left her with several conflicting emotions.
"A turn of phrase…" She replied after a few seconds, her lips twitching up and down as she stared directly into his unblinking face, there wasn't an ounce of emotion on his face which made it very difficult to determine whether or not he was actually mocking her with that sentence or if he was being serious. She doubted it was the latter option but at the same time, she knew he had more sense than to break into her room. Or she liked to think that he did. "One that, I am certain, you are aware is not meant to be taken quite so literally."
"Given that your room door was closed, it would have been impossible for me to take the statement literally if that had been my intention from the beginning." Her eyelids now joined her lips in twitching uncontrollably as he explained himself away in a rather poor fashion. Whether Goetia noticed or not was difficult to say, given that he gave no visible or verbal reaction to her face's sudden exercises. "I merely deduced that you would return to your room at some point and opted to await your return, there was little reason for me to actively seek you out."
Her lips and eyes flattened at him as she stepped forwards, bringing her arms up and folding them over her chest. The surprise and shock had long since departed, now she felt the rather weighty burden of disappointment in the man standing opposite her, one that she hoped she was projecting towards him with her face without needing to say the words out loud. "It is considered poor form to enter someone's room without their permission. More so to go through their belongings without their consent. You are a better person than that, Goetia."
"I'm not even a person." Was the bland response she received, one that brought her thoughts to a halt as she looked closer at him. It was difficult to notice at first but there was something different about him. He looked as though he was looser, as though he was not putting quite as much effort into his posture, his head hung a little lower and his shoulders weren't being held upright. Goetia had perfect posture every other time, except for now. Combined with that comment…
"Besides. I was mildly curious as to what form of literature you would immerse yourself with." And just like that, the shame flooded back to her as his eyes drifted back towards the book lying on the bedside table, his head angling itself to the side as his tone remained almost dispassionate. "Though, you were not the type I would have assumed to be interested in erotic novella."
She resisted the urge to choke at his very blunt explanation of what it was, soon followed by her indignation that he reduced the book to such a crass description. "If you must know, it is more than some intimate descriptions and mature writing." She hastily defended as she marched over to the table, walking past Goetia and sparing him a glance, he raised a single questioning eyebrow at her but said nothing.
"It is a tale of a man setting aside all he has inherited for the woman that he loves." Perhaps she was getting a bit defensive about it, given that Goetia wasn't completely wrong when it came to the description, just that there was a lot more to the book than that. Though she doubted it would have mattered much if anyone else read it, they always focused on those specific little scenes that seemed to distract from the real heart of the story. "It is a very touching tale and I am most certainly not reading it because of the scenes of intimacy described."
Taking the bok into her hands, she marched back towards where it had been hidden, throwing open her draws and then briefly flushing as she realised that Goetia would have needed to go through her clothes just to get at the book. Though when she opened it she briefly paused as she saw that the state of her clothes looked unchanged, as though the book had never been removed at all. Briefly glancing towards him, she could still see no evidence of shame or guilt anywhere on his face, with a shake of her head and a faint sigh, she moved her casual clothes to the side and placed the book down at the bottom of the drawer and covering it up again, sliding the shelf closed once more.
She wasn't going to be distracted by something like-
"You refer to how Duke Fergus rejects his marriage with Dame Emily just so he can enjoy living in some cottage in the countryside with his now disgraced maid Kara?" She paused at his words, then turned to him and furrowed her brows, blinking twice in surprise at his dismissive tone of voice. More than that, it was the fact he actually read the book and that was his take away from it. "He could have achieved far more for his citizens if he had not been so foolish. Now he is exiled from his own lands and must live the life of a farmer for the rest of his days before he presumably dies of one of the many illnesses that exist."
Flayn felt her eye twitch "He wished to be with Kara-"
"He could have taken her on as a mistress." He dismissed quickly with a scoff and a wave of his hand. "That way he can get married and might still find the time to frolic with his passing muse to his heart's content and the people don't suffer."
"He wanted to be with Kara openly because he loved her-"
"I am certain that the people of his territory will greatly appreciate the fact he loved the woman who cleaned his small clothes more than he cared for them." Flayn gaped at him, the fact he did the speaking equivalent of rolling his eyes as he spoke of the book and what was undoubtedly one of the most tear jerking passages in the entire thing brought her up short.
"He wished to be married in the eyes of the Goddess!"
"Sothis does not care about his marriage."
"You don't-" She trailed off at the look he sent her, realising what she was just about to say and who she was about to say it to. Her hands clenched into fists, stomping her foot down she pointed straight towards him. "It is a very touching scene and it made me cry! The entire book is about how the heart was more powerful than his inheritance, no matter how illogical it is, the heart wants what the heart wants and he was happy to spend those years in exile so long as they were with the woman he truly loved."
"...Hmph."
Her eyes narrowed for a brief moment, then she loosened her posture, her features softening as she let the anger slip away. Once again looking Goetia over and the unnatural lack of emotion that he was wearing. She knew what it was like when he didn't care and it certainly wasn't like him to start getting annoyed over a fictional novel. "What is the matter, Goetia? I doubt you came all the way here to chastise me for my taste in literature?"
Red eyes lingered on her for a brief moment, then they gradually aimed themselves downwards as he turned his head away from her, shaking it from side to side as he did so. "While it would certainly do for you to find more relevant literature given your upcoming status as a student of this academy…that is not why I sought you out. As…" he paused, visibly clenching his jaw. "I have…reached an impasse."
"Hmmm." Humming and nodding her head, she briefly glanced towards her bed before she gestured towards it. Goetia said nothing, though did take several steps backwards and then lowered himself onto the mattress, this time he didn't make an effort to keep his posture up and let his body slump, curving forwards as though he'd just woken up. She moved towards him, sitting herself down next to him and keeping her eyes on him from the corner of her vision. "An impasse, you say?"
"...A disagreement with Byleth in regards to my views on humanity."
"This troubles you?"
"Hers are not unique views." He dismissed quickly with a shake of his head. "There is nothing different with how she viewed humanity compared with how every other human I know of views humanity. Merely that…" he thinned his lips. "I expected more of myself."
She could see the disappointment in his eyes, but she knew it was not aimed towards Professor Eisner. "You thought she might agree with you."
"...I expected that this time, at least one would have agreed with my perspective of the world." A breath escaped him as he rolled his lower jaw back and folded his upper lip over his lower lip. Remaining silent for a few seconds and then turning his head towards her. "Why do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Why do you bother interacting with humans?" He looked genuinely confused as he spoke this, something which elicited a hum from her. Perhaps it was the sort of question she should have expected him to ask eventually, he seemed to be so knowledgeable about people in one moment but then so innocent the next. No, not quite innocent. Perhaps just confused, purely and simply being unable to understand what they were doing. "What is there of value in…you hide amongst them, you speak with them, you forge connections but you will live for centuries longer than them."
Flayn confirmed with a nod of the head. "This is true, I am quite young for my race as well. I will likely live for well over a couple thousand years. In truth, I am not aware of the upper limits of age for my people. There wasn't a single recorded instance of a Nabetean death by old age. Though…Rhea knew of many of her siblings who were older than her by many centuries."
"The fact remains, you seem to interact with humans as though your lifespan was as limited as theirs." Seemingly uncaring about the information, he soldered on, the confusion gradually fading and replaced with frustration. "It is utterly foolish of you to become immersed with them. Professing your dislike of violence and yet…why do you care? Whether it comes from war, plague or merely old age, all those humans you attach yourself to will perish eventually."
"I am aware."
"And you will still forge connections with them again and again, fully conscious of the fact that you will continually outlast them." The frown on his face deepened, now looking at her as though he didn't quite understand what he was seeing. In truth, Goetia was asking some very sensible questions. Given her long life, it would seem rather strange why she would continually subject herself to something like making bonds with people, she had friends around the Monastery that she knew would die long before she looked even a day over eighteen.
However, there was something in regards to his question that she focused upon. "Tell me, Goetia…when you speak with others, are your thoughts towards them often dominated with the knowledge you might outlive them one day?"
"What else would consume my thoughts?" Goetia regarded her with a frown as though she had said something particularly foolish, red eyes remaining locked onto her own green. "Do not lie to me and say that the matter does not weigh upon your mind as well as you interact with them. The knowledge that this encounter you hold with them will be but a fleeting moment in the span of your life."
He turned his head from her slowly, bringing his left hand up and looking over the markings on his arm, something entering his eyes for a few seconds, a lack of focus as he was clearly looking at something past his limb. The black burns - which held such meaning for him - served as a reminder for something. "When you lose those you would never think to exist without…how else do you come to terms with the mortality in the world? Why then, should my thoughts, my words, my view, not be dominated by the fact that it shall one day come to an end."
As quickly as he had brought his hand up, he swung it back down into the bed with a thud, tearing his eyes away from it and snapping them shut. Taking in a shallow breath and exhaling through his nose. "You have likely seen more death than many others will ever see in their lifetime. By the admission of Rhea, your people are few in number and with that comes the unspoken fact you have lost family. How else…What would encourage you to continue forming bonds with those you will inevitably lose? Why do something so…foolish to yourself? Something that can only be described as an act of willful self-harm."
She said not a word for a good few seconds, allowing Goetia's words to remain in the air for a length of time. Long enough for the sudden burst of emotion to dissipate from him, she could admit openly that he was clearly troubled by this. Perhaps a concern he held for a long time and the fact he was comfortable enough to speak of something like this with her. It did fill her with gratitude that he trusted her that much, or at least put stock in her opinion.
As for the question itself.
"I am not so ignorant as to the ramifications of my actions upon myself, Goetia." Perhaps he had been expecting a different answer, maybe he thought she wasn't completely aware of what she was doing or that she had never given it much thought until now. Whatever the case, she watched his eyes widen for a brief moment before they narrowed, in a mixture of annoyance and searching. She knew what he was thinking, something along the lines of how she was a fool or an idiot. "You are not incorrect either. With each loss…I do grieve immensely, some are much greater than others. The passage of time makes victims of us all and I will not rebuke you for seeing only the inevitable end."
Goetia stood up from his seated position, taking several steps forwards and then ceasing. Keeping his back to her, when he spoke again it was with a tone of clearly forced calm. "You are telling me what I already know. This is not an answer to my question, I am aware that I am correct in seeing people only for how their lives shall reach their climax…what I want to know is why I should bother?"
He spun around to face her, gesturing to himself with his single arm. "For the first time in my life…I do not have to bother with them. I can close my eyes, cover my ears and simply remain deaf to them. I'm free of their burdens and yet…" his lip twitched downwards, his arm lowered and his head turning away. "...and yet even as my perspective on creation has dwindled, I find myself incapable of leaving them alone. I…I will perish one day and yet even with that knowledge, I find that I cannot see humans any differently. So then…why should I even bother? Why should I have to think of them differently? Why…why do you with your millennium of life still left in you even care to pay attention to them for anything beyond a single second?"
Flayn kept silent through his speech, offering nothing. Then she shrugged her shoulders "Because there is more to life than the passage of time. It is the joys that fill those seconds that make life worth living. Mere existence, the act of simply standing back and watching as the years rush past me like a stream…it holds no interest for me." thinning her lips, she rested her hands on her lap. "Quite frankly, I could not think of a more boring existence than to be separate from the world of wonders that surround me."
Goetia looked at her like she was an idiot. "World of wo-this is a planet of death. Endless death that repeats again and again and again and for all of that, you decry it as a planet of wonders?" his brows pinched together "What value can you find in the interactions with people you will eventually part ways with? Whatever joy you might find with them, whatever moments of levity they bring to your life, surely you must be aware-"
"That they are only fleeting?" She cut him off, levelling him with an unimpressed stare. "I assure you, Goetia. I am all too aware of such a thing, as I told you. Yet that does not change my opinion in the least. Just because the parting is painful, does not mean the time we spent together loses all meaning. Even if enough time passes and I remain the only one with memories of those happy times…I shall cherish them just as tightly as though they occurred mere moments ago."
He remained silent, red eyes still narrowed though his lips gradually shifting from their frown, his expression now indecipherable but still clearly listening to her. At least he did not dismiss her outright this time.
"It is because those moments are so ephemeral that they are valuable to me." Bringing her hand up, she clenched it into a fist and slowly brought it closer until it was pressing into her chest, right above her heart. "The knowledge that those times, once gone, shall never come again is indeed a sad thing. Yet that alone does not taint their memory. Those times of joy, of sadness, of loss and of meetings…they all hold value because they only happen once. Even if I experience loss, it is different each and every time."
Something flickered through his vision for a brief moment, yet he still remained utterly silent.
"Those moments are precious because they end. They have meaning once they are gone because they are finite. Value is found at the end, not during the event." She smiled. "So I will indeed cry and lament the loss of life, but I shall also celebrate the fact I was there to witness them. Even when my life comes to an end, I shall indeed weep that I can experience no more of the world and be party to no more stories…but I shall also celebrate the fact I was able to experience so much of the world."
It no longer looked as though he was staring at her, rather he was staring through her at something else. His lips parted, she craned her head forwards as he started to speak, though his words came out barely above a whisper. "Even if my life ends in the blink of an eye, I want to see every second of this future."
To her, it sounded as though he was quoting someone yet she had never heard that phrase before. At the same time, it was one she wholeheartedly agreed with. Yet its implications were telling enough. Namely that this was not the first time he held this sort of conversation before and he had been given the same answer she provided to him just now. That he still did not quite grasp it was tragic more than anything else. Perhaps because he truly did wish to know and yet he could not.
Bringing his arm up once again, his eyes fell upon the black symbols on his skin once more. From what he had said, they represented the presence of a contract, proof of Solomon's rule over something. She remembered that much, it was difficult to forget the explanation or the vacant look on his face when he told her about it.
"...You told me they do not hurt."
"They don't." He was aware enough to answer her question instantly, his eyes remaining fixed on them with that same dull look.
Flayn softened her features, knowing the answer she was about to receive. "You mean that in the physical sense, don't you?"
"...It is the only sense that truly mattered-"
"Goetia." She did not often use this tone of voice with anyone other than her father, but she wasn't going to be led astray by this sort of argument again. Nor was she going to let him so easily dismiss his mental pains. His eyes slowly turned away from the patterns on his arm and then onto her, his expression remained utterly bereft of emotion. "They hurt, don't they?"
"...They're empty." He replied after a few seconds of silence. "Like…patches of nothing printed upon my arm. They do not belong because they serve no practical purpose anymore. They linger like scars and are just as taunting. Messages of failure, mocking me in every conceivable way." his arm lowered back to his side, his hand clenched into a fist. "And yet…they are the only remnant of physical evidence that proves my kind existed."
"...I see."
"No, you don't." His eyes narrowed, bringing his arm back up and waving it back and forth. "These burnt out scribbles of my arm are all that remain of my brethren, our grand existence that carved its name into the annals of history, that endured three thousand years of torture and are now nothing more than a bad memory in the minds of a little over a dozen humans…this is all that remains of their existence. My people are degraded to some hollow marks carved into my skin that will decay and rot into dust when I perish and after that…after that all that will remain is the stories of Sitri's rampage as an exotic demonic beast."
The flat look returned. "What value is there in that ending? What meaning can be pulled from this?"
"...My uncles and aunts were slaughtered and I must now look at their desecrated remains being swung around by the descendants of those who aided in the butchery of them." She responded with a hollow tone of voice. "Those 'Heroes Relics' are the only proof of my family and they are venerated. They are treated as great prizes to be wielded by the head of a household. I live with the knowledge that my family's bones, individuals that I personally knew are now little more than decorations sitting upon someone's mantle so that they might brag to their friends about being able to wield them."
Blinking, Goetis straightened his posture as she continued on.
"You are not alone in having to contend with the legacy of your family being twisted into an insulting mockery of the truth, Goetia." Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath and reigned back her emotions. She did not like getting heated in topics like this and one could not quantify the experience of pain. Goetia suffered just as they had, so few of his kindred now that they might as well be extinct. Opening her eyes again, she was greeted by an expression of searching in Goetia's eyes. "And yet…There is much I could have done, Goetia. I could have lost myself in anger, I could have demanded that the Heroes Relics be buried as the remains of my family but…but I was not going to let myself be weighed down by their loss. Neither should you, holding onto that grief for so long, it will not help you."
"Then what is it, in your infinite wisdom, that you would suggest?"
She let the sarcasm slip, not rising to the bait of responding to it. "Why are you so afraid of connecting with people? You spoke of a difference of opinion with Professor Eisner but I suspect you have held this conversation before, else you would not be so passionate about it."
That earned a reaction out of him, a brief flicker of discomfort before it faded away, but she had already seen it.
"...You wish for someone to understand your point of view, or perhaps…" Her eyes narrowed for a brief moment before they widened in understanding. "No, it is not that you wish for someone to understand you. You wish to understand them." she stared long and hard at him, he made no move to correct her. "What is it that troubles you so deeply about humans, Goetia?"
"I want to know why you're all so comfortable with death." He replied without even a moment of hesitation. "I want to know why you, especially you, are seemingly content to remain behind while everything passes you by. Is it because you are aware you shall also perish one day, is that how you justified it in your mind? How…How can you tolerate the idea of being in a world without someone? Where you shall wake up and never again see their face or hear their voice or-"
"It's hard." Her voice, barely above a whisper, slipped out before she even realised it. The face of someone precious to her slipping through her mind, the uplifting nature of their laughter that would never fail to bring a smile to her face, even as it was little more than a memory. "Some days I miss my mother more than other days but each and every day, I wish she was by my side. Yet…I could pray for more days until I ran out of breath but I shall never stop cherishing the moments we were together. Holding onto her memories."
"...Is that truly it? Just…memories." He made a rather ugly noise, caught somewhere between a scoff and a sneer. "That's why you can tolerate it because they exist in your memories? What use is the intangible? Why settle for the ephemeral when the eternal holds such greater potential? You would never have to part with your mother, you would still spend time with those you lost to this day…How…How can you truly accept that?"
"...Because it is life, Goetia. Everything dies."
"It's wrong." He declared with complete certainty. "It's wrong. It's wrong and I shouldn't have to care about these beings who will leave me behind…I should have to care about them but I do. I care about them but I can't…" he looked her dead in the eyes. "...They kept leaving me. Again and again and again. They exist as nothing but memories to me but those memories are worthless. They are less than worthless!"
Spinning to the side, he clenched his hand. "I do not want something so limited and stagnant as a memory. I do not want to have to comb through my mind to even find a trace of their existence. Their stories should not have to end! They should…they should be here." he pointed straight down. "Why…Why aren't they here? Why can't they remain? Why should they have to leave? And why…why do you just accept it? If they are going to die, why bother caring? All that effort will be rendered pointless the moment they draw their last breath and all your interactions, whatever joy you could find in that, it's all gone and it will never return."
"Indeed." Flayn nodded her head, she watched as Goetia froze for a moment and then turned on her quickly. Opening his mouth again before he paused, she wasn't sure what sort of expression she was wearing - her face had gone numb - but she was certain it must have been a strong one to stop Goetia's rant in its tracks. "Those memories are all that remains. One day the students of this Monastery will die and I shall carry on with only their memories to keep me company. Never again to hear their laughter or their jokes anywhere other than the moments in which I reminisce."
She shrugged. "That is indeed something I suffer from even now. Yet I am glad for those experiences all the same. As I told you before, it is because that life was so finite that it held such value." her lip twitched upwards. "A story that carried on forever, one that never reached a climax…that would be terribly boring. It would not be a story worth reading because there is no incentive. Your eyes do not drink in every word, you are not hooked on every sentence because you know it will end. The finite time, the knowledge that it will be over…that is what causes you to appreciate each and every single moment."
Goetia frowned at her "I am not discussing something along the same lines as one of your pornographic novels-"
"Was it not you who once said that history was dependent on the most appealing story?"
"...You have a better memory than you let on."
She didn't bother to hide her proud smirk at that strained compliment. "Thank you, it took me quite a while to master."
"...I'm sure." Goetia still sounded rather bitter about having his own words used against him, it was the only thing she was sure he would never argue against because that would imply that he was wrong when he spoke them. If there was one thing that Flayn was certain about when it came to Goetia, it was that he would not quickly admit that he was wrong. "...Doing something simply because you know that the end will come. Devoting yourself completely to a finite existence…"
He paused for a moment, a thoughtful look crossing his face for a few seconds before it faded. "...I wonder when I forgot such a thing?" he mumbled to himself before shaking his head, then he turned towards the door and advanced towards it. "Your words do not make sense. Perhaps that is through my own views being too perfect for my new situation…a flawed perspective might have granted me more clarity."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "I would like to say you're welcome but it feels more as though you have found a way to insult me and compliment yourself at the same time." The smile she offered him was rather small. "I would say that is quite the achievement, but I am sorry that my opinion is not as perfect as you wished."
"No…it was limited enough to be useful." He stopped in front of her door, then turned his head and looked at her. "On the topic of flawed viewpoints, for what reason has Rhea been absent these last few days? My understanding of the Church is that she has fallen ill but the notion of a disease being capable of harming a dragon is utterly stupid to me." she let her face slip for a moment, but it was a moment long enough for Goetia to get something from her. His eyes narrowed. "Just when I assumed she could not disappoint me further."
She opened her mouth to say something, but Goetia was already out of the room and slamming the door behind himself, leaving her stood up and with her arm outstretched. Gradually recalling the arm, she slowly thinned her lips. She at least knew what Goetia's problem was.
He lived too long with those who did not die while watching so many die around him.
In that case, she could hardly blame him for his conflicting emotions, especially after he had virtually lost all of his people.
But…perhaps it was that he was still trying to understand that was the most important part, she just needed to make sure that he did eventually understand.
She knew something was different instantly, perhaps it was the subtle shift in the wind or perhaps it was just her hearing. Or it could have been any number of factors, the sudden burning sensation of the back of her neck like being stared at intently but she knew in that one instant she was no longer alone in her room. The door had not been opened and she doubted either Seteth or Flayn were going to wish to visit her any time soon.
Which left only one person.
Though that did not matter, she kept her eyes on the window in front of her, hands resting on her lap as she awaited what was doubtless going to be something along the lines of a mocking statement, perhaps followed by some sneering remarks about how pathetic she was. It was nothing she would not have already told herself and coming from him it did not feel the same, he gave off that impression of looking down on her all the time so why would today make her feel any different?
Her eyes remained fixated on the open window, staring out onto the distant horizon as she waited for him to get whatever he was going to say out of his system. She was in no mood for visitors but she was aware that trying to get rid of him was bound to be more trouble than it was worth. Besides, what would anyone care if Goetia had come here to mock her?
So she sat there in silence, patiently waiting for him to begin. Seconds ticked by in the dozens, soon reaching well over a minute of nothing but him staring at the back of her head. Soon she was tempted to turn around just to make sure he hadn't left, but she instinctively knew he was still there. He would not come and see her just to glare at the back of her head and say nothing, that was the sort of childish behaviour that Goetia thought himself above. Maybe he was just trying to draw it out, waiting for her to snap so that he could taunt her with her lack of composure. If that was his intention, then he was going to be disappointed. She wasn't going to rise to his bait, she had just enough dignity left for that.
That and there was no point in getting angry with him in the first place, there was no point in getting angry at all anymore. She was just too tired now, so very tired.
"I came here to laugh at you."
The comment from Goetia came without warning, so suddenly that she thought for a moment she might have let her imagination run wild. It was certainly the sort of thing she imagined Goetia might have said, yet when her ears pricked up a faint intake of breath, she knew he had indeed spoken aloud.
She didn't respond to the comment, though the cynical part of her mind could not help but note the absence of laughter.
"That had been my intention. I deduced from Flayn that you were still skulking away in your room." He droned on, now she could hear the faint touch of mocking in his tone. The veiled amusement directed at her. She said nothing, letting him passively insult her. "I had come here with the intention of laughing at you for being reduced to such a pitiful state, that you cannot even bring yourself to leave this room."
He fell silent for a good few seconds, perhaps thinking she was going to offer some sort of rebuttal to the statement. Instead she kept her dispassionate mask, keeping her eyes on the horizon and idly noting the flock of birds that passed by. Was it the migration for the Adrestian Sparrows already? It had been a while since she sat down and watched all of them.
"You do not need to say anything." That brought her up short, she could not help the twitch of her head as she angled her ear towards Goetia ever so slightly. Mentally cursing herself for showing the faintest bit of interest but it was difficult not to, given what he had just said. It did not sound like a command from him, more like a suggestion. But the very notion that he was not demanding her silence while he mocked her seemed…utterly out of character for him. "As you can imagine, insulting you has lost any sense of amusement I might have derided. Your current state is too pathetic to find humour out of ridiculing."
What a horrible silver lining to be granted, did she truly look as bad as she felt? He hadn't even seen her face and he was already claiming she was too pitiful to make fun of. She liked to imagine she had greater control than that. Though she did not think she was going to receive any of Goetia's sympathy, that was good at least. She didn't want it and didn't deserve sympathy, not after everything.
"Did you truly stake everything on the return of the Goddess?" Her brows furrowed ever so slightly for a brief second as he asked the question. Recalling his allowance for her not to speak. She did not open her mouth though. "Was everything you built merely a means to an end for that goal? The peace that Fodlan has enjoyed, that over the long centuries they have suffered from a number of large conflicts that can be counted on both hands. Perhaps advancement has been slower than it should have been but that is a small price to pay for the relative peace you facilitated. You accomplished this…yet you were still desperate to bring the Goddess back that you completely overlooked everything else?"
Slowly, she turned her head away from him once more and back to the horizon. It was never that she was blind to the state of Fodlan, it was just that none of it was as important to her as the return of the Goddess. Anything and everything she did would ultimately pale in comparison to what the Goddess could-...
What she thought the Goddess could do if she was alive, her role had never been for something like this, aiding in the governance of all of Fodlan. It had all been groundwork she built over the centuries to bring the Goddess back to the world so that she could finally rest. So that everything could return to how it was supposed to be.
To correct the mistake that had been done so long ago.
So yes. She did overlook everything else in pursuit of that goal and in the end, it all failed. What a cruel joke the world played on her and one she ultimately deserved.
"How long did you strive for this? Decades? Centuries? Millennium?" He sounded incensed about something, she almost wanted to turn around and look at his face just to see what sort of expression he was actually making. "But now that it has all ended in failure you are content to sit here and just…wallow in self pity? You believe that you are granted the luxury of merely taking a step back and letting the world pass you by for the actions you have inflicted?"
"Wrongs." She quietly corrected him, he didn't say anything which prompted her to elaborate further. "The wrongs I have inflicted."
"They are actions. Right and wrong are a matter of opinion." The comment very nearly brought a chuckle from her but she managed to hold back. Not because it was a particularly funny statement, but because it just seemed like the sort of defence a mad man would use as they commit evils. "I am certain you did not believe your actions were evil. Doubts might have concerned you more than once, you do not have the stomach for committing completely. That you allowed Sitri to continue to exist after the fact she was a failure proved that. Much like with the Chalice of Beginnings…your efforts have been half hearted at best."
Is that how it looked to him? As though she was never truly committed, perhaps there was something in that.
"Had you remained totally absent from the world, if I did not find you actively taking part in the governance of Fodlan, I might have understood this departure from the land. This inability to face the world in light of the failure of your plan." He fell silent again, then she heard the sound of footsteps followed by a faint growl of annoyance. "But you did something. You created the Church of Seiros…you contributed more to Fodlan than Sothis has done. Everything that has been done by you, both beneficial and detrimental."
"She could have done better."
"We are not speaking in hypotheticals, we are speaking in reality." Her defence was cut down before it could even stand for more than a few seconds. Though it was a bewildering experience for her, unsure of whether Goetia was trying to defend or convince her to stand trial. "You, Rhea, you built something here. While Sothis was asleep or dead or in whatever realm she was in…you created all of this. Its existence is your responsibility. From the moment you took it upon yourself to shape Fodlan from the ground up, you forfeited the right to abandon it. If your plan had been successful, that is exactly what you would have done. Passed off the culmination of your own work into the hands of a Goddess."
"She would-"
"Whether or not she would do better is immaterial." He cut down her argument once again. "She is a Goddess, by definition her worldview exceeds your own a thousand fold. I do not doubt she would have brought more radical changes to the world than you, especially if she retained her memories, but it would not be the Fodlan you created. The land you aided in the construction of, Seiros."
She twitched at the use of her old name, thinning her lips ever so slightly. She might have deluded herself into thinking that Goetia wouldn't have known about the past of the Saint and what she did during the War of Heroes. It was hardly as though her efforts in forming the Adrestian Empire were considered a secret to history, anyone who looked at a history book would know of the story of Seiros and Wilhelm.
If Goetia noticed her reaction, he didn't care. "What I wish to know is if you had so little pride in your own work that you would have cast it aside without a second thought? I am no stranger to the tribulations of watching humans, yet I would never leave the work of bettering them in the hands of another. If I take action I see it through to the conclusion…regardless of the outcome."
"We are living in the outcome now." She blandly responded, an empty chuckle peeled itself from the back of her throat. "My long work has come to its ultimate closure. It has ended in failure."
"The restoration of the Goddess is not the success you would have been interested in, that is true." Goetia allowed, yet he continued on. "But if that had been your only intention, then I see no reason why you would not have secluded yourself to the far corners of the world and become little more than a memory. Quietly working to restore the Goddess to the world. If you are convinced her judgement and her actions were so much greater than yours, for what reason did you even bother to try in the first place?"
He pressed onwards. "Why does the Archbishop Rhea exist?"
"...Excuse me?"
Goetia scoffed "Your existence is contradictory. You could have remained as little more than a passionate preacher on some street corner if you were so concerned with the Goddess. Making the Church is one thing, but assuming direct authority over it, entering into a role where you wield some of the greatest power in the entire continent?" The sound of footsteps drew closer to her before abruptly stopping, but she knew he was very close now. "It is illogical. Sothis holds greater judgement than you do, then why not devote your efforts completely to her return to the world? Why allow the existence of failed Demi-Servants like Sitri and her siblings? You have demonstrated a capacity for competence in the past which makes looking at you now bewildering."
It was truly a talent how he could both praise and insult her at the same time.
"The Chalice of Beginnings was a single step in the right direction." He stressed the word "The Holy Grail would have brought about the return of the Goddess…I doubt you are foolish enough to neglect the link between the blood offered to the Chalice and the response. You must have been aware that the concept was sound in principle, the problem was quantity."
That had been a thought, yes. Though the cost for such a thing was so great-
"What do the lives of humans matter if the return of the Goddess is nigh? Those who hold the blood of crests only do so because of their ancestors' slaughter of your kind? For what reason should their descendants not be forced to pay retributions for this wrong done to your people?" Her hands clenched into fists, balling up her dress's fabric between her fingers, though she kept her face as blank as she could. "For what reason were they even elevated? You've explained as such to me and there's reason to justify it…except that this does not correlate with the presence of Sothis. The moment she is returned, it will be made abundantly clear that she played no role in 'blessing' those families and the long lie you constructed will be ripped down. You think that a Goddess is going to remain silent as the blood of her murdered children is wielded for political power?"
Her jaw clenched, her eyes closed and a sharp breath escaped her. It was loud enough that Goetia fell silent. "What is it that you even wish to know? Is there some answer you are trying to pry from me with this constant questioning?" she turned around fully, rising up from her seated position and looking down her nose at Goetia, the tanned man didn't so much as blink at the sudden fact she was virtually in his face. "You have never, not once, showed so much as an ounce of care in the way in which Fodlan has been governed before, your utter lack of respect for the basic customs of the Church and your continued flaunting of your own superiority…why do you even care?"
Silence stretched between them.
His lips gradually thinned.
"Well?" She demanded, the fact he was falling silent now was just more irritating for her. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself but if he was going to pester her for answers the very least he could do was explain why he was doing so. Everything else just seemed to fade away in that moment. He kept that infernal silence, still looking up with those empty eyes of his. "Well!?"
Her hands shot forwards in an instant, wrapping around his brown robe at his collar and clutching on tightly, she pulled up and dragged him to be eye height with her. She expected something from him, some manner of reaction. She would have been fine if he reacted violently or looked at her with anger for manhandling him like this, but he just maintained that same uncaring look. As though her anger meant nothing to him. Which only served to bleed the frustration into her expression.
Was this not what he had been waiting for when he first stepped in here?
Was he not entering to mock or jeer her?
Her eyes creased, her lips pulled down the longer she stared at his face. "What do you even gain from this…?" she scarcely recognised her own voice. "What answer are you expecting from me?"
"...Why did you do it for so long?"
She blinked.
"You had a choice. A genuine choice in the matter…the choice I never had." He looked her dead in the eyes. "You could have ignored them. You had no obligation to do anything, your Goddess did not program-" she barely recognised the world but its definition slipped from her mind long ago. "-you with the commands to care for humanity. There was nothing forcing you and yet…you stayed with them for so long. You allowed Byleth to leave…that should have marked the final failure and yet…you stayed and governed…why?"
His eyes hardened. "Why? Why go through all of this effort, all these long years of struggle, why go through all of it to just…abandon it all? It is utterly pointless. In returning Sothis you would have rendered all your sacrifices moot. Humans helped in the near extinction of your race so why did you do so much for them?"
She maintained her grip on his robe, keeping his feet an inch off the ground, even as she felt her grip start to slack. Her eyes flickered away from his own, those piercing red orbs that were desperately trying to drag the answers from her.
"...Because…" She opened her mouth to speak, then slowly closed it again. The words died on her lips as she failed to materialise an answer. No, it was not just her words that failed her at that moment. Her mind did as well, she could not think of a single answer. It wasn't as though she didn't understand, she understood what he was talking about but she didn't have an answer for him just as she didn't have an answer for Macuil all those centuries ago before he left. "...I…I don't know…"
Goetia's face shifted for the first time during their conversation, his eyes narrowed and a trace amount of anger seeped onto his face for a brief instinct. For a moment, she was genuinely curious if he was going to strike her for what she had said, he certainly looked ready to do so.
Then it just left him.
It was so sudden, the transition between genuine hatred and then nothing was so jarring that she almost dropped him on instinct, though she was aware enough not to do that. Instead she just stood there with Goetia in her hands, the emotionless mask staring right back at her.
"You don't know." Repeating her own words back to her, there was something mixed into his tone that sounded almost jealous, though she quickly dismissed that from her mind because she could not comprehend something like that coming from him. At least at first, though now she wasn't sure what to think. "...Is that why you hide away in this room for days? Are you still so unsure?"
"...I have no right to do anything like that anymore." She muttered with a click of the tongue, lowering Goetia back to the ground and pulling her hands away from him. His robes ironed themselves out without even a flicker of movement from Goetia. Something she would have scoffed at if she actually cared. "In using my position as Archbishop I betrayed the trust of those who placed their faith in me. Using it to further my own selfish aims."
Turning back around, she lowered herself into her seat. "As has been made abundantly clear with recent events…I am not one who can inspire the same confidence in her actions as I used to." Her lips pulled themselves into a deep frown. "And my own mother…"
"Forget what Sothis thinks. Neither of us are ever going to be considered worthwhile in the eyes of our progenitors." Goetia scoffed at her, she turned and watched him shake his head from side to side. His body shifted from her, already making his way towards the door of her room before he stopped. "...I am unsure why I even came here. Looking at you in this state is just…If you were wrong then correct it."
"Because you are such an expert?" She hissed at him.
"...Why do you think I'm even here?" He raised a long eyebrow at her "Why do you think I didn't join Sitri in their genocide of humanity…because somehow I was wrong…We were wrong." his eyes narrowed, his head turned. "And I want to know why…So I cannot leave just yet. Not until I find the answer that has evaded me for three thousand years. If I am capable of moving past my grand deed and examining the flaw in my arguments, if I can overcome the extinction of my people…then you can at least finish what you set out to do and actually take your role seriously."
The door was pulled open, he took a single step forwards and then stopped. "...Besides. If the people of Fodlan were aware of the extent of my actions…they would hate me infinitely more than they hate you." before she could even think to question that, he turned and looked her head in the eyes. "...Your actions were mistaken. They were rooted in self-defeat. You sabotaged your own efforts and you are presented with a choice. You can either wash your hands clean and then disappear into the world without another word…or you can correct your actions."
He paused, then shrugged. "I do not care which choice you pick."
"Why?" She didn't let him leave, rising up from her chair once again and pursing her lips, staring at the back of his head as he stood in the doorway. There wasn't a response from him for a few seconds, therefore she elaborated. "This…this sounds as though you are trying to encourage me, Goetia…but I am not fool enough to believe that."
A scoff. "Encourage you? No…seeing you like this is just…disgusting to me. I just don't want you to act like this in a place where I might see or hear of you." glancing over his shoulder, red eyes narrowed at her. "This is me telling you to either do something valuable or clear the way for someone else…" the red orbs flickered away from her and towards the ground, his expression loosened. "...Sothis return was not your only work, Seiros. Fodlan is still in need of something resembling order by your own design, the Church is now a central pillar of this continent."
Closing his eyes, a sigh escaped him. "There is still something you might be able to salvage of your efforts." another pause before he made a small noise. "Again, I'm not sure why I even bothered you in the first place." his lips curled. "Perhaps it would have been simpler if I did laugh at you for your failures."
Simpler, he said.
But not easier.
"...Goetia."
"Hmmm?"
"...Thank you for visiting me."
He gave her an odd look. "Your relationship with your kin must truly be awful if you consider this a meeting worthy of gratitude."
She bit back the jab that at least hers hadn't tried to kill her yet, that would have been an awful thing for her to say. She was actually rather disgusted with herself for having the thought in the first place.
"Correct your mistakes, Seiros." He stepped out and took hold of the door handle, slowly pulling it shut behind him. "...For some, it is the only thing they have left."
The door shut behind him, leaving her alone in the room.
Correct her mistakes?
She didn't even know where to start…
Turning her head to look out of the window, she gradually pulled her lips into a frown. "...I hate it when he's right."
AN: Wow, long Chapter, right?
Also next time we're off to our monthly mission which is fun times all around.
