That night I couldn't sleep, my ghosts seemed to claw away at me more than normal threatening to swallow me whole. Eventually I caved in, lighting a lantern and heading up the tower. Should I really be doing this? I asked myself as I walked down the stairs.

I tried to remain rational and tell myself that this really wasn't necessary. Merlin wasn't important enough to warrant this. I only had him because he once again got caught up in something that didn't involve him. Something deeper down though told me that looks could be deceptive.

I stepped in, the door slowly swung open with a squeak, I never liked staying in these rooms for long. The air inside smelled thickly like the Mandrake Root, while it was usually scentless making it nearly impossible to detect this ritual was much more potent than the last time she had used it.

Maybe it was just because whenever I spent too long listening in out of the corner of my eye would be Morgause just out of reach and gone in a blink of an eye.

"Merlin," I spoke firmly as I shut the door behind me, "I just want to talk, you barely ate your food at dinner."

The room was quiet until I heard a muffled sob towards the back. As I crept closer to see his huddled silhouette next to the window he huffed his voice cold, "Go away, Morgana."

Merlin, always so irritatingly cocky, as if he wasn't severely disadvantaged. "You shouldn't be so rude to your host," I chided. "Come on, at least try to carry on a conversation,"

There was no response, Merlin really was no fun nowadays. At one point he had been bursting with personality. Before I could continue he propped himself up, "What happened to you Morgana, you used to be so… kind."

The question caught me off guard, yet I refused to show it. Was I not being kind now? "Kindness has no place during a war," I replied not allowing my voice to betray me.

"You know Merlin, you've always fascinated me," I said with only a hint of malice lacing my words.

"I'm flattered," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Maybe next time you invade Camelot you could make me your Court Jester, then you and Arthur could finally agree on something."

"I'm serious. I've never been able to figure you out, and I would never demean you to that position. Arthur doesn't appreciate you nearly enough, you know that. I know you aren't as ordinary as you seem. What's your secret?"

"I'm being trained as a physician and am also the servant of the King of Camelot. I don't think many would consider my life ordinary."

I shifted my posture to sit more upright, determined to uncover the truth. "Lucky for you… I have all night."

"So do I,"

I continued without relenting."Do you feel anything in your cold heart when you watch your King that you so dutifully serve allow people to be persecuted because they were born with something they can't control, I didn't ask to be like this."

His gaze flickered over me ever so slightly, "My people have been persecuted for far too long, nobody else has stepped in. Not even that legendary Emrys shows himself. You try to make me the villan when those tyrants-"

"Oh cut the bullcrap Morgana," Merlin spat, cutting me off mid-sentence.

Who did he think he was? I rose to my feet towering over him, seething, "I am doing this to help people."

Merlin's words cut like a sharp knife, leaving Morgana feeling exposed and vulnerable, "Are you trying to convince me? Or yourself?"

The tension in the air was palpable as they stared at each other. My chest heaved with emotion as I struggled to control myself. This conversation was far from over. I stood abruptly slamming the door behind me.

I descended into the depths of the tower, my hands trembling as I stepped down each step. Once I was in the comfortable quiet of the tower below I froze. It wasn't as if I didn't know the harm I had caused. I knew how much sacrifice it took to get me here, I couldn't go back now. My conscience had to be clear.

I really should have been spending time with Guinivere in preparation for the spell, or checking in on Arthur's progress. Instead I found myself climbing up with a plate in hand, Merlin had always drawn me to him. Like a moth to flame, always burning myself every time we were together only to be pulled back in again.

I wasn't cruel of course. He and Gwen were allowed time out of their rooms, even then Merlin would flinch at the smallest of shadows. Covering his ears when I laughed mockingly.

It wouldn't be long before just like Gwen he would be broken, which was fortunate since Arthur was making an astoundingly pace.

"Here," I said softly, thrusting out my hands with a warm yellow glow emanating from them, illuminating Merlin's pale face. He had obviously been expecting something worse than just a meager light source. "I have a gift for you."

The small lantern wouldn't do much good as there wasn't much to see but I assumed it would bring some comfort. "Still looking for your Knight in Shining Armor? He won't make it." A wicked smirk tugged at my lips as I added mysteriously: "Let's just say... I have an extra special surprise for him."

"He will Morgana, you'll never win."

A satisfied hum escaped me as I shut the heavy wooden door behind me.

This seemed all too perfect. It had to be a trap. I lifted the lantern up carefully from the stone floor. Flames hadn't lept up my body so I figured that Morgana wasn't quite that petty.

With bated breath I tiptoed towards the door expecting Morgana to suddenly yank open the door any minute now. The lantern opened easily and I hoped for the best. The flame caught onto the door devouring the wood.

"Damn it! Elyan!"

It was too late he had already raced up the tower the other knights furiously trying to catch up.

He'd find his sister and rescue her, it was the least he could do to atone for his actions, only to be met with a sword. "It'll fight to the death!" his sister cried. "Leave me."