Hello again! Thanks for the review again! so grateful for you taking your time to write such an awesome review 3, part of the reason why I worked so fast with this next one hehehe, I'll have Santana in few doses in this ff because I'm not always sure how to write her snarky and bitchy awesome self but she will make her fair share of appearances. Hope you like this one too.
The other part is because I got my first follow today! welcome and thank you for reading this ff, hope you like it too.
I want to make the aclaration that I'm trying to follow canon...so be prepared.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this characters, they belong to Ryan murphy, and this was originally inspire by Chiquislover25 story Daddy, go give it some love its amazing and its also here in this platform.
Rachel didn't know what came into her to blurt out those words like that - and especially to him - but when she did, the gates opened and she couldn't stop herself from crying to the phone. Maybe her desire to be held and be told that "everything was going to work out" was what impulsed her, perhaps this fresh feeling of understanding between them that she felt after their coffee date added, in her rash decision to confide in him before than Kurt and Santana.
"You..you're what Rach? Did you just say pregnant?" he asked stunned, and if Rachel could have seen him, she would have been able to see him opening his eyes like an owl and his mouth wide opened. Some seconds after the initial shock, concern kicked in when hearing her soft weeps "Rach where are you? I'm coming"
"I'm in my apartment, I'll text you the address" she managed to say through little whimpers without questioning it. She really needed a hug.
"I'm on my way" she heard him say and then he hung up.
Why? is the only thing going through her mind. Just when she got an opportunity to prove herself that she belonged in New York and in Broadway. She had to mess up and get herself pregnant.
She felt heartbroken for her dreams that were knocking on her door. She would not be able to make room for them now. There was no way they would let her be in the play in full pregnancy form.
She laid in her bed for what could have been hours just sniffling and letting the tears come down her face, regretting her decision to sleep with Finn last time she went to Ohio, what was made things worse was that it had been a goodbye moment for her, where she left behind her childish infatuation of Finn and everything he had represented to her to move forward with her future in New York. She was well deep in her thoughts when she heard a soft knock on her door.
She prayed for it to be Jesse and not Kurt or Santana, she knew they would feel something amiss and then she would need to explain and be judged, and right now as vulnerable as she felt, she could not deal with that.
She opened the door fearing the worst but then Jesse appeared before her eyes with a sympathetic face and a bag with what appeared to contain some groceries.
"I brought you some saltines and chicken soup, I guess you are feeling a bit unwell" he gave her a halfhearted smile and after his soothing words she came undone and began to cry again.
"Jesse, what I'm going to do?" she sobbed with her shoulders and head low. Suddenly she felt guided through his soft embrace towards the couch where they both sat.
"Damn Rach, I don't know what to say, what do you want to do?" he said with still a sympathetic smile and with his hand forming soothing circles on her hand.
"I...I guess I'll have to keep it, and maybe return to Ohio" she said depressed and adding a bit more drama flair to her statement.
"Ok first of all, you have options Rach, if you want to make an appointment at Planned Parenthood, I'll even come with you and hold your hand through everything. Second, if you decide to keep it, then you will not be alone. Have you told Hudson?" he said with a soft smile still caressing her hand.
"Oh my god, Finn" she thought bringing her free hand to her mouth. In all of this, she hadn't even thought of the effect this was going to have on Finn. Giving it a second thought, he was going to be partly sad because she wouldn't be able to fulfill her need to be on a Broadway stage and partly happy because that meant she would return to Ohio to raise the baby leading the simple small-town life that he wanted with her with him teaching in the Glee Club and doing some repairs in Burt's tire shop and her being an stay at home mom; and that thought alone made her sick, and this time it wasn't the pregnancy. She couldn't do this, it wasn't how it was supposed to go for her, it wasn't how she envisioned her future.
Jesse was right, the logical path for her was going to Planned Parenthood, there was no way she could become a mom at 19, she wanted motherhood yes, but now wasn't the time for that.
"No, I haven't, I literally just got the results from the test" she sighed a little bit calmer thanks to Jesse's soft hold of her hand and his rational thinking, he could be a great listener. "Jesse, would it make me a bad person if I wanted to go through an abortion?" she asked with big doe eyes and her lip quivering, he could identify the fright she was feeling and that made Jesse's heart clench.
"No! Not at all, you are young and you have the right to decide on your body Rach, it's the 21st century. As I've said, I'll even come with you" he finished with a reassuring look, and that made her certain this was the best decision for her.
"Thanks" she held his hand a little bit tighter and had a pause to take a breath. "Why are you being so nice to me?"
"Well Rachel Berry, as much as I want to rip you a good one for this, it could have happened to anyone, even me; and you have options, it's not the end of the world. And besides, I'll let you in on a secret" he said with a half grin and soft eyes squeezing her hand "I don't really give a rats ass about the world, but I have a soft spot for you"
She giggled a little, he really was a jackass to everybody, but, aside from him turning her into an omelet, he always spoke to her in a softer way and looked at her more amiably than the rest.
"Thanks Jesse, I really don't know what got into me to blurt out this to you after your call, but I'm glad I did"
"Friends, right?" And she nodded "I do think that you should tell Finn, even if you want to go through an abortion, I guess he has a right to know of your decision and maybe visit you after the appointment if he can't make it"
"Yeah, you are right" she sighed "I think I will do it tomorrow though, right now my head is a mess and I'm afraid he is going to think this might be an opportunity for me to return to Ohio. And I just can't Jesse, I just got the part for the play, I just can't. But I'm afraid of him trying to convince me and me agreeing out of fear"
He moved his hand to her shoulder and gave it a tight squeeze while fixing a gaze into her eyes.
"Hey it's okay. Just be clear in what you want and I'm sure he will understand… if you want to talk a little bit more about this we can, but if you want to distract yourself, we can watch a rerun of The Office or whatever show floats your boat"
"Thanks, I'll call him tomorrow, and make the appointment to explore my options, you will come with me, right?" she pleaded with her eyes and he could see the scared little girl behind those eyes, there was no way she was doing that alone if he was there to hold her hand. He nodded in confirmation. "Ok, then The Office it is"
While watching the show on her TV she felt asleep on his shoulder which gave Jesse the opportunity to take a look at her. She looked so frail and tiny next to him, he really felt honest sympathy for her. She just got to New York and was beginning to work for her dreams.
Many years ago, when he said to her that she singing "Don't cry for me Argentina" in front of a crowd was an inevitability and him doing whatever he could to make her dreams come true, he really meant it.
And having this opportunity of going through this new step in their lives, together - in New York nonetheless - he knew in his heart that he was capable of doing anything to help her in order to make her stay in New York.
Even if it meant supporting her emotionally through a pregnancy if she decided to keep it and Finn couldn't be by her side at all times, if the beanstalk decided to not follow her to New York. But if he could help it, Rachel wasn't going to return to Ohio, she belonged here on the stage.
Of course, he was going to give her moral support if she truly wanted to return to Ohio and stay there to raise the baby with Finn, but that would be such a waste now that she was going to be part of a workshop of a play that in the future could be a big opportunity for both of them.
It wasn't going to be easy at all though, as much as he put a calming and strong front to guide her through her emotions, it was hard and it sting him. The idea of Rachel pregnant with Finn's Hudson baby made him feel a knot in his stomach and wanting gag.
Will I ever stop being smitten by this girl? I swear to God, in a post-apocalyptic world, the only things remaining would be zombies and my feelings for Rachel…Ugh, I sound like a chic he thought to himself annoyed and a little bit amused. But it was going to remain platonic. He was determined, and now even more.
"What are you doing here St. Jackass? His head moved slowly towards the person who said it, finding Kurt and Santana standing on the entrance of the apartment and throwing him daggers with their eyes.
They most likely were not updated on this issue, he didn't want to overstep any boundaries so to give Rachel the chance to tell them if she wanted, he invented an excuse for his presence there. Trying to not wake Rachel up he said quietly. "Well look who it is, Porcelain and WMHS Queen Bitch" he said amused "Rachel wanted to run some lines for the play and we ended watching "The Office" after and she fell asleep"
"That sounds like bullshit, what are you trying to accomplish with her St. Jerk?" said Santana he said not buying it and not even trying to sugar coat it.
He shushed them looking at Rachel. "Nothing Lopez, we got the part for the play so we are going to work tightly knitted for some time" he said returning to his usual cocky persona.
"Oh! She got the part!?" shouted Kurt forgetting his disdain for Jesse, that was enough to wake Rachel up, she began to flutter her eyes and take in her surroundings.
"Wha…What happened" she began to say groggily and rubbing her eyes.
"We just got busted by the anti-me patrol, just told them that we were running some lines because we got the part" he said winking at her without Kurt and Santana noticing it.
She thanked him with her eyes and Jesse understood.
"It is getting late though and seriously guys, Bushwick? It's like asking to be robbed" he quipped snottily while picking his stuff up. "Bye Rach, tomorrow we can meet at the same coffee shop from last time before going to the SA meeting"
"Ye…Yeah. Thanks Jesse. See you" she said accompanying him to the doors ignoring the disdainful glances directed towards them.
"Everything will be fine Rach" he whispered close to her when he gave her a goodbye kiss in the cheek. And she nodded almost imperceptibly.
She closed the doors and before her friends could grill her.
"Guys, can we talk tomorrow? I'm beat. Long day on campus and long rehearsal with Jesse" she almost ran to her room leaving Kurt and Santana with the words on their mouths.
"That sounds iffy" said Kurt staring at Rachel's closed curtain.
"Yeah, I'm not buying it either. She's hiding something, she's even weirder than usual" she said with her usual edge while pouring herself some juice.
"Got the appointment?" asked Jesse returning with her tea and his black coffee.
"Yep, Monday at 8 am. Now I'm going to call Finn" she said with a scared look.
"It's all going to be okay Rach" he squeezed her hand "Weird place to tell him the life altering news though" he said amusingly trying to lighten the situation.
"Shush, Kurt and Santana were on my back all morning and couldn't do it, and I don't want to wait anymore…well here goes nothing" she exhaled a breath and dialed Finn on her phone with a tight smile.
The phone rang and it went to voicemail. She called him again but nothing.
"He must be occupied" she felt a little bit relieved but knew she had to muster some courage and at least leave a voicemail for him saying she need to talk to him.
"Well, now just wait for him to call you back. We need to move along if we want to get on time to the RTC" he said grabbing his cup and her backpack which send him to the ground almost spilling his coffee "Jeez Rach, what do you carry here, rocks?" he gave her a funny look while catching momentum to carry her things.
"A girl can never be fully prepared, ok?" she retorted following Jesse to the door.
"Do I need to remind you that you shouldn't be carrying so much weight right now?" he whispered concerned. But then felt bad because Rachel looked worried again. "Sorry, didn't want to remind you of that, but I do think it would be dangerous for you"
"Yeah, you are right… good thing I have you to carry my stuff then" she regained her spirits and stuck her tongue out.
"You are too cute for your own good" he said rolling his eyes.
"Now that we are all gathered, we want to congratulate the new faces, each one of you impressed us in some way or the other at your auditions and we are forever grateful for your faith on this project Duncan and I began forming 6 years ago" Began to say Steven. "Let's hope this will be last workshop before some theater launches our project… but on a more realistic note this will most likely be the one before one last workshop".
Everybody laughed.
"Great, so now let's proceed with the proper introductions and then we will cover the bases for what we expect on this workshop"
Everybody proceeded to present themselves and the role hey had been casted, as well as the supporting crew. Rachel, being her ever applied self, wrote some notes and Jesse couldn't help to give a little snort that only Rachel heard but decided to ignore.
Duncan and Steven proceeded to explain how the goals of this workshop was to adjust some of the songs since the ones from the demo weren't definitive, also deciding on the viability of some newly written scenes and polishing the ones they had decided were more likely to appear on the play.
Everything was so exhilarating, Rachel always saw herself being casted on a revival or a finished original play, never had she thought to be part of the development of a play. She was just on her sophomore year on NYADA so she couldn't complain. There was some magic on this experience also, almost like being able to be part of an uncomplete canvas.
She knew she was just casted as Wendla for this particular workshop and that could change any time since it was just a play in the works, there most likely had been a previous Wendla and Melchior before them.
But Jesse had explained to her that if they impressed the correct people they could be upgraded to the creative staff and their roles would be most likely be secured to be part of the actual play when it got to a theater.
With everything that had happened the past two days, being here just reinforced her desire to remain in New York whatever happened. She knew she decided over her body and being on this meeting just made easier her decision of going Monday morning to her appointment with her mind set on a decision.
I'm sorry Finn, I truly am. This is where I belong, perhaps sometime in the future if we both are available and you see yourself living in New York, we can try, but not now. I want this, I want to stay on New York she thought to herself while Kim - who apparently was the musical director -proceeded to give them their contracts.
Their run would be for 4 months starting in two weeks, 3 months and 3 weeks in rehearsals and perfecting the book and the last week on public. And they reserved the right to call them for the next workshop. Jesse and Rachel gave each other a side glance and nodded. They were determined to shine as bright as they could and they would remain in their roles for the next workshop.
"That was so exciting, oh my god!" said Rachel when they were leaving the theater. It was already night time and the big bright lights from New York just added up to her elation.
He liked seeing her all passionate and charged, it was nice to see her usual self, and it was contagious. His cynical and smug side never let himself feel so much excitement. But with her, barely containing so much emotion in her chest that it looked like she burst from happiness, he allowed himself to be as proud and charged as she was.
He squeezed her shoulder when they got to the subway station and bid his goodbyes.
"See you Rach, text me the details for the thing on Monday okay'" he said.
She nodded. And then parted.
She arrived at her flat and was about to babble about the play's meeting when she noted a somber and broken look on Kurt's and Santana's faces. And before she could ask what had happened, Kurt said the words that changed her life forever.
"Rach, Finn was in an accident and he…" his voice broke and she already feared the worst "he didn't make it".
Hey! don't kill me. Just trying to follow the canon line for this to story to work.
RIP Cory, we all still miss you.
Stay tuned for next chapter 3
