Welcome to PI Reader Voting! I hope you enjoy the fic. You may notice a similar fic that got deleted, and that was mine. I really didn't enjoy writing it, so I'm starting over.


"Welcome Total Drama Fans!" Chris Mclean, Host of the 5 prior seasons of Total Drama, was onscreen. "Put on some clean undies, because things are about to get wild!" He paused to let out an evil laugh. "14 spanking fresh contestants and a totally brand new location; A Cree island in western Canada. As you might recall in our Heroes vs Villains finale, someone, and I refer to remain nameless, Accidentally destroyed Camp Wawanakwa."

The scene cut to Chris walking through a Forest. "So... this is where we landed." The image cut to the elimination area, a waterfall, a cave and a puddle as Chris said "No shacks, No showers, No hotels, Nooo hot tub." It cut back to Chris. "The only things we managed to save were the outhouse confessional and the horrific smells that live inside it, courtesy of Owen." It'll be the roughingest roughing it that's ever been roughed on Total Drama. so, buckle up, because this is:"

Chris paused on the "is" for a bit before saying: "Total Drama Pahkitew Island!"


INTRO PLAYS...


The episode resumed on a shabby blimp transporting the 14 contestants. It was creaking and constantly shaking, making several contestants nervous. Sky, a cree girl in a t-shirt with a purple stripe, winced as the blimp did a particularly violent shake. She reached into her pocket and found a pack of gum. Sky noticed a pale girl in a pink dress humming to herself, clearly not phased by the terrible condition of the blimp. This was Ella. "Want some gum?" Sky asked her.

"Ooh, Yes please! Thanks!" Ella said as she popped the gum into her mouth. "Mm, cinnamon! You've got good taste."

Sky suddenly felt a glare piercing into her back. Once she turned around, the boy who had been glaring at her quickly turned around. He was white and had a purple bowl cut and a white lab coat, certainly a strange clothing choice. This was Max. He clearly wanted some gum, but didn't ask. "Do you want any?" Sky asked Max.

"Your offering of simple confectionary will NOT save you from the PURE EVIL OF ME!" Max boasted, though he still accepted Sky's offer. "But yes, Thank you!" He stuck the sweet treat in his mouth, but immediately began hacking and coughing. He spat the gum out, and weirdly started screaming at it. "CINNAMON! My old enemy! When I take over the world I swear I will.."

Max went on his rant, though the camera focused on an Indian boy in a blue sweater. This was Dave. "Am I in a reality show or a costume party?" He quietly questioned to himself before being approached by a black boy in a wizard's robe. This was Leonard.

"Newt tongue and Orphan tear, Make the million dollars appear!" Leonard chanted, attempting to cast a spell. It didn't work.

"Uhh, Okay?" Dave said.

Suddenly, Ella ran up to the boys. "Would you like a song to help your magic work better?" She asked Leonard.

"Sure!" the Wannabe Wizard told her.

Before Dave could protest, Ella began singing. "OhOhOhh, OhOhOhhh!" She chorused, prancing around the cabin.

The camera swapped focuses to a black guy with an afro and a white t-shirt. This was Beardo. He began beatboxing, ending with a very nifty "Soooong!"

A white, blonde girl with a mole in a red cheerleader outfit looked disgusted at Beardo's beatboxing. This was Amy. "Ew! She cried, before turning to another girl who looked exactly like her, except without a mole. This was Sammy. (or as Amy calls her, Samey.) "Samey, switch seats with me this instant!" Amy ordered.

Sammy let out a sigh, though reluctantly said "Okay.." and swapped seats with Amy. Suddenly, Amy noticed a very tall girl in beige clothes and a hat sitting next to her. This was Jasmine.

"Eeeek! A giant!" Amy squealed.

"Are you and I gonna have a problem?" Jasmine asked Amy with a thick australian accent.

"Switch back! NOW!" Amy screamed at Sammy.

Suddenly, an attractive young white man with dirty blonde, combed hair ran across the cabin. This was Topher. "Chris? Yo, Where's Chris? Has anyone seen Chris?" He repeatedly asked the other contestants. With every repeated question, a certain blonde, white woman got more and more irritated. She was quite overweight and wore a pink crop top. This was Sugar.

"You seen Chris?" Topher said to Sugar, who grabbed him and began speaking to him.

"Hey, can you kindly SHUT UP FOR TWO SECONDS?!" Sugar screamed at him.

"Or what?" Topher asked.

"Or I'll throw you out the window!" Sugar threatened. "You'll be a hair gel pancake in two minutes flat!"

A white girl wearing glasses and a green sweater with ginger hair in a bun walked over to correct Sugar. This was Scarlett. "Wrong. If you were to throw him out of the window, In the first 14 seconds he would fall 18,000 feet, But then he would reach terminal velocity and drop 176 feet per second. So, if we're flying at the recommended 3200 feet, He would hit the ground in 3 minutes and 6 seconds." Sugar looked confused, and Topher used the opportunity to slip away from Sugar.

The camera panned towards two guys sitting on stools. One of them was muscular, white and ginger with blue dungarees. This was Rodney. "Wow, that girl has some real brains, huh?" He asked, trying to make conversation.

The other boy, scruffy and white with brown hair and wearing a toque. This was Shawn. "BRAINS?!" Shawn asked, worried. "WHO'S BRAINS!? NO ONE'S GETTING MY BRAINS!" Rodney gave him a confused look.

Just then, Thunder could be heard. The blimp rumbled excessively as Chef said down the loudspeaker: "Hang on! This might get hairy!"

The blimp started falling apart. Sky and Max held onto their stools in fear, Dave, Beardo and Leonard shared worried looks, and Shawn fell off his stool due to the shaking. Topher and Sugar began running around in terror and crashed into each other and while the twins looked terrified while Ella screamed, oddly singing it.

Suddenly, Chris appeared out of thin air. "Hello, newbies!" He greeted. "Ready for some fun?"

"I AM!" Topher squealed excitedly. "I'm your biggest fan! It's been my dream to meet you! Oh, what an honour! I'm so excited to-"

"I like fun as well!" Ella chimed in.

Dave gave them both an incredulous look, then faced Leonard. "Have they even SEEN this hellspawn of a reality show before?" He asked.

"Probably not." Leonard answered.

"Well good news for you two, because they'll be a ton of it this season!" Chris explained. "For example, did you know this blimp was made in two days by a group of unpaid interns?"

"Did you really have to bring that up?" Samey asked Chris, now worriedly looking around the damaged parts of the blimp.

"Well, It should be good news to you and the other circus animals that the interns were surprisingly smart enough to put two emergency exits!" Chris insulted. "One here, and one at the end of cabin!"

The contestants scouted the blimp's interior, and sure enough, they found the two exits.

"At said exits, you will find parachute packs! But, only half of them will contain actual parachutes." Chris said. "The other half will contain surprises, which will be utterly useless when falling from a plane."

"Well, we might not need them." Sky said, trying to stay positive.

"Who knows? This season is full of surprises!" Chris explained before producing a button. "Like this!"

When he pressed it, nothing happened. "I said, like this!" Chris said as he pressed the button again. And again. And again. He did this multiple times before the engine on the blimp finally blew up, causing it to begin falling. "Oh, phew!" Chris said. "I was worried we wouldn't have enough danger to keep the ratings up!"

"Dude, this is no time for jokes! We've gotta jump!" Shawn yelled as multiple contestants started screaming and running for the parachutes.

"Correction, you've gotta jump!" Chris sneered. "I'm actually a hologram!"

"WHAT?!" Chef shouted. "Why ain't I a hologram?!" He reached out to touch Chris, and sure enough, it went right through him. Chef gasped, and yelled "ABANDON SHIP!"

The rest of the contestants grabbed parachutes and ran towards the exits, Jasmine pushing Max out in the process. Everyone jumped out of the plane, and made earbleeding screams for their life.

Once she regained her composure, Jasmine remembered about the parachute on her back. "The koala says cluck to the platypus for luck!" She recited before pulling her bag open, getting a parachute and flying high into the sky in the process.

Beardo looked at Jasmine rising, at opened his own pack. Unfortunately, there wasn't a parachute. There was a chicken and an egg instead. Beardo made a "Womp Womp Womp..." sound effect before falling off screen.

Amy, like everyone else, was falling from the sky. Amy opened her bag to find a parachute, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

Amy suddenly noticed Samey holding onto her leg. "Oh, sis! Not sorry, but you're kind of making me fall faster so.." Amy didn't even bother to finish the sentence before brutally kicking Samey down below.

The nice twin frantically pulled the string on her pack, which revealed a parachute. "Yes!" Samey celebrated.

Amy floated down next to Samey. "Ugh, lame.." The older twin whined.

Sky was falling to her death nearby, and opened her pack to find a cat. "Perfect!" She said, unintentionally (or intentionally) making a pun.

Sugar also opened her pack, and many awards and trophies came flying out. Among these was a single tiara. Sugar squealed excitedly, grabbed it, and put it on her head. "Oh, thank you, thank you! I'm not prepared to make a speech, but-" Sugar said before pulling out a piece of paper, which she then proceeded to read out loud. "Thank you all, for supportin' me over those other chumps like-"

Sugar couldn't finish before Dave flew in front of her and got the paper caught on his head. "Crap!" Sugar exclaimed.

Dave was falling, still with the paper on his head. He opened his pack and feathers came flying out. "I get it, feathers." He snarked. "Funny."

Topher's pack had a parachute, which he was happy about. "I knew Chris wouldn't let me die!" He cheered.

Leonard's pack was filled with tambourines, which flew up as he fell down. "Welp, time to cast a spell!" He told himself before flipping through a book of spells. "Where was the wings spell again?"

Chef's pack had sausages, steaks and other meats in it. "Oh, that's just wrong.." he murmured while falling to his demise.

Rodney and Scarlett both opened their packs to find parachutes. "Alright!" Rodney cheered happily, while Scarlett remained neutral. Rodney went to hug Scarlett, only for her to take her parachute off and plummet down at breakneck speeds to avoid him.

Ella's parachute had a teddy bear with a parachute inside, adding insult to injury. "I'm glad you're safe, little bear!" A nearby bird landed on her hand. "Oh, hello!" She greeted. "Care for a song?"

The bird nodded, and she began. "I'm falling on a sunny, sunny day, hit the ground: I just may!" Ella sung happily as she fell offscreen.

Shawn was the last person to open his parachute, and he opened it to reveal some hot dogs. "Wait, I love hot dogs! Come back!" Shawn said as he tried to grab the quickly rising hot dogs.

Suddenly, Shawn noticed that he was about to hit the ground. He braced for impact, only to be saved by Jasmine grabbing onto one of his legs. "Hey, thanks!" He said.

Jasmine also grabbed a falling Leonard, although he was less grateful. "Hey, my spell worked!" Leonard triumphantly, yet obliviously announced.

"And here they come now!" Chris announced, spotting the falling contestants. Beardo, Dave, Sugar, Scarlett and Chef all screamed as they fell into the water, as Shawn, Jasmine and Leonard landed safely on the beach.

Samey also landed on the beach. "OMG, I did it!" She celebrated.

"Break my fall!" A familiar voice screeched. Samey didn't take long to realise it was Amy, but she didn't realise fast enough to avoid getting crushed by Amy flying down.

"Oh, sorry.." Amy muttered, not sounding very sorry.

Sky was about to fall onto the ground, but slid off a tree branch and somersaulted safely into the water.

Rodney, Topher and Ella landed safely next to Chris. The first two landed with parachutes, while Ella safely floated down, thanks to the bird she met earlier. "Thank you my feathered friend!" Ella called out.

Chris was looking at the girl in confusion when Chef stormed up to him. "You could've at last given ME one of the parachutes!" He scolded.

"Dude, I had no control over whether you got a parachute or not." Chris corrected. "Blame Lady Luck, not me."

"Or you could have just not blew up the plane!" Chef countered.

"That would have made me look boring." Chris said. "I'd rather die than be boring."

"Umm, Chris?" Scarlett said. "When I was on the blimp before, I counted 14 people, and now there are only 13."

Chris began counting the campers, and as it turned out, Max was missing. "MOh, Max must have died." Chris said, indifferent. "I'd be worried about a lawsuit but we're too big to fail."

As it turns out, Max was not dead. He was instead hanging from a parachute, which was stuck in a tree. "If you do not release me tree, I will burn you to the-" Max threatened, before the parachute slipped and he fell to the ground "GROOOUNNDD!" Max screamed, finishing his long awaited sentence.

"Welcome to Pahkitew Island!" Chris narrated. Everyone who had received a parachute was on the right, and everyone who did not was on the left. "On the right is everyone who received a parachute!"

The camera panned to the parachute receivers as Chris called their name. "Scarlett, Rodney, Topher, Jasmine, Max, Amy and Samey!"

"Uhh, it's Sammy.." Samey explained to Chris.

"Amy says that Samey is the nickname she uses to bully you." Chris said.

"Well, yes, but-" Samey said.

"And since I enjoy making people suffer on this show, I'm gonna be calling you Samey!" Chris interrupted.


Confessional: Samey

"This sucks!" Samey told the camera. "I auditioned for this show to get AWAY from Amy!"


"Your team name will be the Pimapotew Kinosewak, which is cree for Soaring Eagles!" Chris announced while a purple picture of an eagle appeared onscreen.

"Those without chutes, Shawn, Leonard, Ella, Dave, Beardo, Sky, and Sugar, you guys are the Waneyihtam Maskwak, which in cree, means the Ferocious Tigers!" Chris explained, while an orange picture of a tiger appeared onscreen.

"Uhh, those are both wrong." Sky said. "They actually mean-"

Sky was cut off by Sugar putting her hand over her mouth. "Shush! I like these team names more!" Sugar angrily whispered.

"So what's the first contest?" Max impatiently asked.

"Well, considering there's nowhere for you to sleep." Chris said. "I think it's only fair that your challenge should be to build a shelter for your team to stay in!"

"Oh, muffintops!" Sugar whined. "I'm much too tired for that!"

Sugar went to sit down on a nearby stone, only for Beardo to make a fart noise when she did it. Sugar gasped and went to defend herself. "That wasn't me! A real pageant queen would never make that boring of a fart!" She explained. "She'd spice it up a little, maybe she'd fart into a fire or-"

"No one cares, Sugar!" Chris called down from a pile of garbage that he mysteriously ended up on top of. "Anyways, each team may take supplies from the common area before they begin to build!"

The camera panned over to a sinister looking Chef in front of a tennis ball launcher. "But, these supplies are guarded by Chef, armed with a powerful tennis ball launcher!"

Chris jumped down from the pile. "A glancing blow will sting!" He said, with Chef demonstrating by hitting Dave on the head.

"Ow!" Dave whined, causing Sky to gasp. "That only hurt a little!" He corrected.

"And a direct hit will take you to the ground!" Chris continued, with Chef demonstrating on Max.

"GAAH!" Max screeched as he fell to the floor.

Chris sighed, and asked "Will someone please help that little boy to his feet?"

Rodney picked Max back up, though he immediately fell to the ground again.

"Good enough." Chris said. "On with the challenge! The Tigers will build their shelter further inland, while The Eagles will build their shelter towards the beach! Best shelter, according to former contestant B.."

B walked into frame, holding a notepad and a pencil. "Will win the challenge!" Chris said before he blew his horn. "Begin!"

Chef immediately began shooting at the contestants. They all panicked, though Sky took early control of her team. "Tigers, follow me!" She instructed, running towards a group of stones. Everyone else ran behind her.

Jasmine also took leadership. "Let's move, Eagles!" She commanded while running towards some tree stumps. The rest of the Eagles followed her, with Rodney carrying Max.

The Eagles went behind the tree stumps, hiding from Chef's fire. Max was also standing again, for some reason.

"Here's the plan-" Jasmine explained, before noticing Rodney was also explaining his own plan. "Listen up, we-" Rodney also stopped to notice Jasmine taking leadership.

"We should grab-" "The three of us should-" Rodney and Jasmine said before being interrupted by each other once again. "What do you think you're doing?" The two said in synchrony.


Confessional - Rodney

"Back on the farm, it's just me, my dad, and my five little brothers." Rodney explained. "I'm kind of used to being in charge."


Confessional - Jasmine

"It's always the big guys who are intimidated by me." Jasmine said. "Small guys as well, and most girls. I intimidate people.


"Just listen to the plan." Jasmine said, grabbing Rodney and bringing him closer. "We need to decide which items are the most important and make sure we've got them, okay?"


Confessional - Rodney

"We'll do it her way." Rodney said. "It's never wrong to let love be your guide."


"And that's how we'll win, cool?" Jasmine asked Rodney.

"With a plan that, flowers and sunsets aren't not true.." Rodney mumbled before going to kiss a very disturbed Jasmine, who quickly leaned away.

The Tigers were hiding behind a formation of rocks. "One run each, grab something good and make your way to-" Sky didn't even finish before Dave interrupted her.

"Yeah! She's totally right! Good call! I have some dirt on my hands but it's no big deal! Let's do what she says!" Dave praised.

"Umm, okay.." Sky said.


Confessional - Dave

"And as always, Dave just said something humiliating in front of a cute girl!" Dave lamented in the confessional. "WHY AM I LIKE THIS?!"


"The wood is the most important thing out there so.." Jasmine planned before noticing that Scarlett politely had her hand up. "If you have something to say, Scarlett, just bark it out."

"Well, The wheelbarrow is more important than the wood because it's a class two lever, and with the wheel using as a fulcrum-"

"We can car-" Samey said, before Amy interrupted her.

"Carry stuff in it! My idea, mine!" Amy claimed.

"Nice work Amy!" Jasmine praised, causing Samey to take on a sad look. "You and Samey help Rodney load the wood into the wheelbarrow and go!"

"Heavy is my heart, carrying a-" Rodney said before Amy pulled him away.

"Move it, mumbles!" Amy insulted while pulling Rodney away by the ear. A concerned Samey followed them.

Shawn was the first person to gather supplies for The Tigers, and he began hiding behind a rock. Then, he flipped over to the pile, grabbed a can of soup, and ran back. "Way to go Shawn!" Sky encouraged, while the others looked impressed by his skills.


Confessional - Shawn

"In my mind, the zombie apocalypse could happen at any moment. Oh, zombies aren't real, you say? That's just what the government WANTS you to think!" Shawn explained. "Anyways, I grabbed some soup!" Shawn read the packaging. "CREAM OF BROCCOLI!? Aww..."


Amy was using Samey as a human shield. Samey was making various pained noises. "Hey, stop screaming!" Amy yelled at Samey. "You're making us sound weak!"

Suddenly, the two were scooped up by Rodney's wheelbarrow and carried off.

"I'm going for the rope!" Jasmine told the remaining Eagles. "Everyone grab something good, okay?" Jasmine leaped up to retrieve some rope.


Confessional - Topher

"The only thing Chris loves more than himself and money is drama!" Topher explained. "If I make some dramatic plays, for example, cutting a power player like Jasmine early, he might like me enough to.. I don't know, make me a co-host?"


"Soup?" Dave questioned bluntly. "He grabbed SOUP!? You can't make a house out of soup!"

"I made a castle out of some soup once!" Leonard told Dave. "Granted, I also used a sunflower and the eyelash of a dragon."

"Woah, are you a real wizard?!" Sugar asked Leonard, in awe.

"I sure am!" Leonard answered.

The camera showed Chris watching Chef shoot at the contestants, until the tennis ball launcher broke down. "Hey, Chris!" Topher greeted as he climbed up to where Chris and Chef were standing. "You'll be throwing to commercial soon, right?"

"Umm, Why do you ask Topher?" Chris questioned.

"Well, it's always been a dream of mine to watch you work LIVE!" Topher told Chris excitedly, causing Chef to roll his eyes.

"Who am I to deny the dreams of such an intelligent young man?" Chris said. "Pardon me a moment."

Chris faced the camera. "Building supplies are being collected! The Soaring Eagles are doing a very 'wood' job, while the Ferocious Tigers are looking kind of 'soup-id'! You don't wanna miss any of this here, on...

TOTAL!

DRAMA!

PAHKITEW ISLAND!"

"Bravo, encore, brilliant!" Topher praised.

"I like this kid." Chris told Chef as the screen faded to black.


DOO-BEE-DOO-BEE-DOO, COMMERCIAL BREAK!


"We're back!" Chris told the camera. "The players are moving, Chef is shooting, pick your favourite team and start a-rooting!"

Topher immediately bursted out laughing. "So funny, love it!" He said.

"Thank you!" Chris told him. "But now it's time for you to get back into the action!"

"Okay, I'll-" Topher said before getting chucked near the pile by Chef. Jasmine grabbed some rope, and ran.

"A house is a home, and a home is a house!" Ella sung, walking past Topher. Multiple birds were following her. "This is not a dress, it's a skirt, and a blouse!"

"Is she singing?" Chris asked Chef.


Confessional - Ella

Ella was surrounded by animals in the confessional. "I was a huge fan of Total Drama World Tour!" She told the camera. "Just because we don't have to sing anymore, doesn't mean we can't!"


Ella bent over to pick up a bucket of glitter, unintentionally dodging three tennis balls, which hit the birds instead. "Good news!" Ella announced. "I found a bucket of glitter!"

"Marvelous!" Leonard said.

"No! Not marvelous!" Dave complained. "How are we supposed to make a house out of glitter?"

"There's such a thing as decoration, Dave." Leonard told him.


Confessional - Sugar

"I can't believe this!" Sugar told the camera. "Dressy just got a bucket o' glitter and didn't give it to me?! Does she know who won the glitter eatin' contest in her hometown for 5 years runnin'?"


"Dave, you draw Chef's fire while Beardo makes a run for the supplies!" Beardo made a 'ding ding' sound effect.

"Ready?" Sky asked Dave.

"Umm.."

Sky didn't wait for Dave to answer. "Go!" She said, pushing Dave onto the battlefield.

"Umm.." Dave said, struggling to come up with an insult that would draw Chef's fire. "You're, uh, Stupid?"

Despite it being terrible, Dave's insult offended Chef enough to make him start shooting at him. "Hee! Ooo! Yow!" Dave said, making very strange noises as he dodged the tennis balls.

"Alright Beardo, now!" Sky commanded.

Beardo yelled as he ran towards the pile. However, he was somehow running in slow motion. "How are you even doing that?!" Dave asked before Beardo got hit in the groin with a tennis ball and collapsed to the ground.

Sugar was digging around in the pile of junk. "C'mon, there has to be another bucket o' glitter somewhere!" She said, resurfacing while carrying a microwave. Sugar then get hit by a tennis ball, which caused her to lose grip of the microwave. The microwave fell down and trapped Sugar's head in it. Chris and chef high fived upon seeing this.

Scarlett was hiding behind the bucket of junk. She decided to run for it as Chef was distracted, only for it to be revealed she was pulling Max on a wheelbarrow with some wood. "Pull faster, minion!" Max ordered. "Before we're-" Max was interrupted by a tennis ball in the face.

"Oww.." Dave moaned before Leonard jumped in.

"Run, muggle!" Leonard told him. "This foe is much too powerful for you!"

"Finally!" Dave said before running back to the team's hiding spit.

"Go back to the shadows of Wawanakwa!" Leonard yelled. "YOU SHALL NOT-"

Leonard couldn't even finish before he got pelted with multiple tennis balls by Chef.

"Sky, I have an idea!" Dave told her. "You and me could-" Sky clearly wasn't listening, as she grabbed a wooden plank and hit a tennis ball right back into Chris's face.

"Ouch!" Chris said. He now had a black eye. Chef laughed at him, before being hit even harder than Chris was.

"Someone should teach that girl that the hosts hurt the contestants, not the other way around." Chris told a now unconscious Chef. "Right Chef?"

Chris honked his horn again. "Attention, peasants!" Chris announced to the contestants. "It's building time!"

Chris noticed Chef still lying on the floor. "You coming, or do you want to only be paid for half the episode? Chris asked a still unconscious Chef, who didn't respond. "Suit yourself." Chris continued before walking off.

Max was walking by himself in the woods. "An evil genius needs an evil lair to do evil things!" He noticed a cave. "This cave will be perfect!"

Max tried to do an evil laugh, but failed miserably. "Let's try that again." He said before failing at an evil laugh again. "It's not important, to my lair!" Max ran inside the cave, only to be chased out by multiple bats.


Confessional - Max

"It was very dark in there, and I'd prefer something less spooky." Max said. "Not to worry though, plenty of time to evil!"


"Topher, Scarlett, Glue the boards!" Jasmine ordered. "Rodney, help me with the support beams! Amy and Samey, Faster!"

Everyone suddenly heard drilling from where the Tigers were meant to be building. "What are they building?" Samey asked.

"Sounds pretty big." Rodney noted.

"All the more reason to move your arses and work harder!" Jasmine snapped.

In reality, the sound was just Beardo making drilling noises. "Quit with the sound effects!" Dave yelled. Beardo stopped.

"So, what are we gonna build?" Shawn asked.

"Well, we have rope, straw and a hammer!" Sky said.

"Not mention this very pretty glitter!" Ella mentioned, holding up the bucket.

"And some soup!" Shawn said.

"We shall build a Wizard's tower!" Leonard announced.

"Oh, yes!" Ella agreed. "I second that!"

"Wizard says, Sugar does!" Sugar said. "Who's with us?"

Dave glared at the other three non-wizard's tower voters. "Don't you dare." He warned them.

But it was too late. Beardo raised his hand with a slide whistle sound effect. "Four votes for a wizard's tower!" Sugar announced.

"We're not doing that!" Dave protested.

"Dave, the team voted." Sky told him. "Building something is better than building nothing!"

"Okay, the first step is for us to link arms and chant!" Leonard instructed. Everyone cheered, except Dave.


Confessional - Dave

"Is this a cult or something?" Dave asked.


Chris and B were walking through the forest, having a conversation. Chris had an ice pack over his black eye. "So, how's life going?" he asked.

B wrote something in his notepad, and then showed Chris. "It's going." was written on the notepad.

"Wow, so you use that notepad to communicate now?" Chris said. "That would have been useful when Scott framed you back in Season 4."

"Yeah, I guess." B wrote. "But at least that means I didn't have to compete in any more of the dangerous challenges."

"That's true." Chris said as they arrived at the Eagle's shelter.

"All done!" Jasmine announced as she hammered in the final nail on the roof.

"Hmm, we need a way to get a closer look.." Chris said.

"Don't worry, I've got this." B wrote. Suddenly, the backpack he was wearing turned into a jetpack. He began bridal carrying Chris and flew up to The Eagle's shelter, which turned out to be a treehouse.

"Looks nice!" Chris said, jumping out of B's arms onto the floor of the treehouse. "What do you think, B?"

"It looks pretty sturdy and comfortable." B wrote. "Good idea making it above ground too!"

"Why?" Samey asked, before Max turned up.

"Greetings, future servants!" Max said.

"Dude, where were you?" Topher asked, calling down to Max.

"I was looking for an evil lair, and-" Max was interrupted by a rumbling sound.

The shaking caused Jasmine to fall off the roof and be caught be Rodney, who gave her a seductive look. She was not seduced.

"I can see why you said it was a good idea to make it above ground." Chris told B. "This Island is a little more wild than the last one!"

Max looked behind him, and saw a stampede of Moose approaching. He screamed and tried to run away, but got trampled.

"Poor guy." B wrote.

The camera showed the Tiger's wizard tower, with a trumpet playing in the background. "Zip it!" Dave yelled at Beardo, who was making the sound effect. he quickly stopped.

"Well this is useless!" Dave insulted, looking at the tower with disdain.

"But it's not done!" Leonard reassured the germaphobe. "Ella?"

Ella held up the bucket, but Sugar snatched it from her. "Leave this to the porfessionals!" Sugar said, mispelling the word.

Sugar ate the glitter from the bucket, and everyone gave her weird looks. "You were supposed to throw it onto the tower." Leonard said flatly.

"Oh." Sugar said. "My bad."

Dave looked away, only to notice Shawn walking into the woods. "Where's Shawn going?" He asked.


Confessional - Shawn

"You know when in zombie movies, one guy gets bitten and hides it from the others?" Shawn asked the camera. "What if someone on my team gets bitten? I'm not sleeping next to them, that's for sure!"


"Tigers, Wizard's tower, huh?" Chris asked them.

Everyone nodded, while Dave sighed. "It looks structurally unstable." B wrote.

"I agree." Chris said. "And you're gonna need it to be stable if you want to survive the moose."

"Survive the what?" Sky asked before further rumbling ensued.

The moose charged at the tower and everyone ran away except Leonard, who simply ducked behind the tower. Beardo made alarm sounds as he ducked behind a rock.

After the moose ran off, Leonard discovered that his Wizard's tower was still standing. "Huzzah!" He cheered. "The beasts of Pahkitew Island are no match for my tower!"

Just as he said that, the tower began falling over onto Leonard. "FORCEFIELD!" He yelled as it fell in his direction. However, after the smoke cleared, Leonard didn't even have a scratch. "Hey, my spell worked!" He said, sounding genuinely surprised.

It cut to both teams sitting on logs on opposite sides of each other. "B, who do you think deserves the win?" Chris asked.

"Well, I'd like to say it was a hard choice." B wrote. "But it wasn't. The Eagles' shelter was way better, so they win!"

The Eagles all celebrated. Amy, Scarlett and Jasmine cheered, Rodney wrapped one of his arms around Topher and Samey went to high five Max. "Evil does not high five." He told her.

"This season, the winners of each challenge get a take-out order from a sponsoring restaurant!" Chris said. "This week, it's the petting zoo barbeque!" Chris recite their slogan. "Someone else touched your dinner, we guarantee it!"

The Tigers groaned. "Shoot! I've always wanted a pony!" Sugar complained.

"Oh, and Jasmine?" Chris asked her.

"What is it?" Jasmine said, nervously.

Chris seemed to glare at her before tossing something at her. "Here ya go!" He said.

Jasmine looked at the object, and it was a blue token with Chris's face on it. "What's this?" She asked.

"It's a Chris token!" Chris explained. "It'll be given to the player on the winning team who performed the best in the challenge!"

"Woah, how was Jasmine the best at the challenge?" Max asked. "It was clearly me!"

"Well, for starters, you did nothing helpful." Chris insulted. "And secondly, Jasmine got it for coming up with the plan that won your team the challenge, and she lead the team in building the treehouse."

"Thanks mate, but what does it do?" Jasmine asked.

"That will be explained later." Chris said before turning to the Tigers. "Team Ferocious Tigers, please report to the elimination ceremony tonight. One member of your team is heading home!"

The Tigers whined at this.


Elimination Ceremony - Tigers

"Welcome to the Pahkitew Island elimination area!" Chris greeted. Dave and Sky were on the top row of the seats, while everyone else took a seat at the bottom row. "As you can see, we brought the peanut gallery from All-Stars back!"

The camera panned over to The Eagles in the peanut gallery eating their takeout order. "Wow, these are so good! My compliments to the chef!" Topher complimented, likely trying to annoy the Tigers. Judging by their glares, he did.

"This is where one of you will earn a one-way ticket home!" Chris explained.

"Can we get this over with?" Dave asked Chris. "It's pretty clear that we're voting Leonard off.

"Hey!" Leonard exclaimed, offended.

"I thought I told you about this season's twist." Chris said.

"What twist?" Ella asked.

"Oh, I guess I didn't." Chris said. "Anyways, this season the viewers will be voting on who goes home instead of the contestants!"

Everyone gasped. "Seriously?!" Sugar asked.

"Yes!" Chris said, before turning to the camera. "Viewers, it's your job to decide who stays and who doesn't! Vote a member of the Tigers to be eliminated, and whoever has the most votes will leave the show!


Soaring Eagles: Scarlett, Rodney, Topher, Jasmine, Max, Amy, Samey

Ferocious Tigers: Shawn, Leonard, Ella, Dave, Beardo, Sky, Sugar (UFE)


Notes:

That was episode 1! It didn't change much from canon, but I added a few more jokes and things to differentiate it from canon. The Ferocious Tigers are up for elimination, so vote for one of them to be eliminated in the reviews. Voting ends on June 6th!