Thank you to everyone who voted! It really helps a lot. Special thanks to eroedfrejdg1, who was the first person to cast a vote.


"The voters have voted!" Chris announced to the nervous tigers. "One of you will be the first contestant voted out of the game!"

Chef, finally conscious again, pushed a large TV over to where Chris was standing and collapsed on the floor afterwards, tired.

"Thanks Chef!" Chris said. "Now, let's see how many votes we received!"

The TV displayed the number 0, which then changed into a 1. Then a 2. The number kept going up by one, progressively getting faster, before finally landing on the number 13.

"We got 13 votes!" Chris said. "My favourite number!"

"Seriously? A show as big as this only got 13 votes?" Sky asked.

"Oh, it's probably because the voting station is on top of the world's tallest mountain." Chris explained. "We'll move it to the top of the world's second tallest mountain next time."

"Or you could just not put it on a mountain.." Dave said.

"Enough!" Chris said. "It's time to hand out the marshmallows! If you get one, you're safe, if you don't get one, you're headed home!"

"Quit your yappin' and give me my marshmallow!" Sugar yelled. "It's pretty obvious I'm safe."

"Two of you received no votes!" Chris said, ignoring Sugar. "Those two are Sky and Beardo, so here are your marshmallows!"

"Yeah!" Sky cheered as she caught her marshmallow. Beardo caught his marshmallow, though not before fumbling it in his hands, and made a Mario 1-up sound effect.

"The contestants who received 1 vote are.." Chris continued. "Dave!"

Dave caught his marshmallow, though he looked confused. "Okay, who voted for me over-"

"Sugar!" Sugar gleefully caught the marshmallow in her mouth.

"And Ella!" Sugar's smile turned into an angry frown when Ella caught her marshmallow.

"Look Sugar, we're safe!" Ella celebrated, showing Sugar her marshmallow.

"It's down to Leonard and Shawn!" Chris announced. Leonard was nervous, while Shawn took on a neutral expression.

"I HOPE YOU SURVIVE, WIZARD!" Sugar called over to Leonard.

"Leonard, you think you're a wizard, and you convinced your team to build something very, very stupid." Chris explained.


Confessional - Leonard

"Wizard's towers are not stupid!" Leonard defended. "The only reason it fell over is because Dave didn't believe in me!"


"And Shawn!" Chris called. "You think zombies are real, and you smell really bad!"

Shawn scoffed.


Confessional - Shawn

"Well, if you want to survive the undead, you've got to smell like the undead!" Shawn explained.


Leonard and Shawn both nervously glanced at each other, knowing one of them would be eliminated. The camera alternated between close-ups of the boys.

"Both of you have valid reasons for going home!" Chris told them. "However, only one of you can be eliminated. And with just 2 votes, the last person safe is.."

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..Shawn!" Shawn breathed a sigh of relief, and caught his marshmallow.

"Leonard, you're the first contestant eliminated, with 8 votes." Chris told him. "That's more than half of the total votes! How pathetic is that?"

Leonard was too shocked to speak. Sugar, however, was not. "WHAT!?" Sugar yelled. "There's no way they voted out the wizard!"

"Yes, they did." Chris said.

"You just rigged the votes against the wizard to make it fair for everyone else!" Sugar accused.

"No, we didn't." Chris said. "It's just that Leonard really sucks."

Sugar angrily stomped towards Chris, only to be stopped by Leonard himself. "Do not strife, Sugar!" Leonard said. "It's clear that reality shows are a waste of time for wizards like me!"

Sugar wiped away tears. "I'll win for you, wizard!" She claimed.

"Thank you." Leonard said before turning to the rest of the Tigers. "Goodbye, my merry band of adventurers!" Leonard announced. "All of you are free to join me on quests any time!"

"I'll pass." Dave replied.

"Anyways, this island's name is "Pahkitew" which is the cree word for "Exploded". So, we figured this season's mode of transport should be something with a bang!" Chris said. "Everyone, please follow me!"

The 13 remaining contestants stood by a structure covered by a red tarp. "Without further ado!" Chris announced. "I give you the boom of abashment, the kablam of chagrin - This season's humiliating way home!"

Chef took the tarp off the structure, revealing a giant cannon. "The Cannon of Shame!" Chris said.

Everyone gasped and looked at the machine in horror, except for Max and Topher, who looked at it in wonder.

"Brilliant!" Max praised. "It's so evil!"

Leonard popped out of the machine. "Ready to go, Leonard?" Chris asked.

"Uhh, yeah." Leonard responded.

"Was expecting more of a reaction, but alright." Chris said before pushing the button he had in his hand, sending Leonard flying out of the cannon with a scream. Everyone else looked at the flying LARPer in concern.

"I LOVE YOU WIZARD!" Sugar cried, waving.

Chris turned to face the camera. "You know what's weird?" He asked. "I already don't miss him! Well, that's 1 down and 13 to go! Who's the next human cannonball? There are just too many good choices! Tune in next time and make your difficult decision on..

TOTAL!

DRAMA!

PAHKITEW ISLAND!"


Bonus Clip


The contestants walked away from the elimination area silently, as they had all been shook by the cannon's reveal.

"So, Leonard got voted out? Shocker." Scarlett snarked.

"I know, right!?" Rodney replied, 100% serious. "Totally thought it was gonna be Shawn.."

"I would have hated having that idiotic wizard on my team!" Max insulted.

"To be honest Max, you're not much better." Topher said. "At least Leonard tried to help, you just goofed off and looked for an evil lair instead of helping us build."

"Evil doesn't waste time building-" Max said.

"Oh, shut up Max!" Jasmine snapped. "You'd better contribute more, or you'll be gone the first time we lose!"

"Correction, SECOND time we lose." Amy corrected. "Samey's going first."

Samey rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything.


Confessional - Max

"Okay, my team might be a little mad at me." Max nervously confessed, though he quickly gained a confident smirk. "But no matter, this is just a small setback. They'll all be my obedient minions in no time!" Max attempted an evil laugh, only to fall into the toilet. "Gaaah! Revenge!" He shrieked.


The Tigers didn't notice the Eagle's shenanigans, as they were too annoyed by Sugar's heavy crying over Leonard's elimination.

"OH, LEONARD!" Sugar weeped. "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE US SO SOON!?"

Although everyone else was annoyed at Sugar's bawling, Ella moved closer to comfort her. "Don't worry, Sugar!" Ella said, putting an arm around her. "I'm sure you'll see Leonard after the game!"

Sugar quickly pushed Ella's hand off. "I don't need your support, Singy!" Sugar yelled. "Go bother someone else!" After saying that, Sugar started loudly sobbing even more.

"Wow, she's even more of a mess than my ex." Shawn remarked.

Beardo nodded his head with a shaking sound effect.

"Dude, do you EVER talk?!" Dave asked.


Confessional - Beardo

Beardo sighed. "Yes, I can speak." He confessed. "I'm just usually too shy to talk in front of strangers, so I communicate with sound effects instead."


"Look, Sugar." Sky told her. "If you don't stop crying, you'll be the next person on our team voted out!"

Sky took a different, harsher approach than Ella, though it ultimately worked. As soon as she said that, Sugar stopped crying.

"You're right! I can't lose a pageant this early!" Sugar claimed. "WOOO! Million dollars, here I come!"

Just after that, Sugar ran off, probably in search of the million dollars. The other Tigers gave each other weird looks, but ultimately didn't say anything else.


14th - Leonard


Soaring Eagles: Scarlett, Rodney, Topher, Jasmine, Max, Amy, Samey

Ferocious Tigers: Shawn, Ella, Dave, Beardo, Sky, Sugar


Notes:

And the first elimination of PI viewer voting is, to no-one's surprise, Leonard! I was kind of hoping Leonard would survive for the memes, but he ultimately didn't have much plotline potential so I'm not too sad about seeing him gone. What surprised me though, was how close the votes were for the other six and that Shawn of all people ended up in the bottom 2.

This elimination didn't have many similarities with the canon first elimination, so it looks like the divergences are already starting to form. See you next time for "I Love You, Greased Pig!"