Chap 11
Brood
The tender touches and snuggles don't stop for a second, even as the Seekers make their way through the halls of the Ark II. Starscream in particular refuses to give up his hold of you, even as his purple brother's begging becomes more and more desperate. Skywarp's voice is overly dramatic, which you take as a sign he's hamming it up for your sake. Walking away from a literal aggressive standoff was anxiety inducing, and you get the impression he's trying to lighten the mood by acting silly. Starscream only smirks at his brother's antics, preening at the fact that he is the one holding you, and oh look it doesn't look like they want to move, sorry among other comments that make you giggle.
Starscream isn't heading back to the berth room, you notice. Instead he seems to be going back up to the flight deck, the corridors gently sloping upwards. You don't have a chance to add any of these passageways to your internal map, as you're too busy being cuddled into putty by giant clawed servos.
"-And you're never going to run off again, are you?" Oops, they're talking to you. You look up into the faceplate of your red and blue guardian, but oddly don't feel the need to look sheepish. Instead you stare back and give him your best good-natured scowl. He returns the expression with a similar looking scowl.
"And not even remotely remorseful, I see." You hide your smile with your servos, eyes peeking out. His optics glint with mirth. "At any moment you could have commed us and we would have come running. But instead you seem awfully chummy with that Grounder femme, hmm?"
You can sense an underlying tone of envy in his voice, and you're quick to explain yourself.
"Mm-hmm! Elita-1 is gonna chew out Optimus for me." Squeezing his sharp digit, you wait pensively for him to inquire further so you can explain. Meanwhile Skywarp mouths the words chew out like he has no idea what it means, but you don't linger on his confusion too long.
"And what-" His scowl is less good natured now, "Did you think we were doing back there? Apparently it was a task you needed an Autobot for." He seems genuinely miffed, maybe even hurt by the comment. His optics have a faraway look to them that you're unsure is real or dramatised. Better not take any chances.
You yank on his talon, successfully getting his attention. He stops mid-step.
"It has to do with something I've been wanting to tell you, I just never found the right moment. Elita is going to make sure that they don't interfere." You plead with your optics. This is serious, and you try to fight the shiver of nervousness that creeps up your strut. You look at Skywarp, glossa feeling heavy. "Something I've been meaning to tell both of you."
The Seekers look at each other (is it just your imagination or do they look at each other knowingly?) and they both stop walking. The shiver of nervousness grows to a full body tremble, and they take note of it without petting you like they usually do.
Skywarp chimes in, a modicum of nervousness (or excitement?) in his voice. "Would you prefer to tell us here or…?" He trails off, but you get what he means. Do you need privacy for this or are you ok with an uninvited audience? The shiver makes its way to your wings and you're unable to stop them shivering. If it were around anyone else, you'd be nervous that your emotions show so visibly with your wings but the Seekers do it too, so you're less upset by it.
You look around the corridor as much as you're able and decide yeah, maybe someplace more private would be better. "Maybe not our room but-" You don't even get a chance to finish your sentence before they're already walking again. It seems they have a place in mind and you're along for the ride.
The walk trails on for longer than you anticipate, partially due to your nervousness, but your internal map shows that you're still heading up to the flight deck. Maybe not the most private place, but you can think of a few spots that are a bit more secluded. And sound doesn't echo the same way it does in these vast corridors. Were they intending to take you to the flight deck in the first place?
Their steps also seem more hurried, you notice, but maybe you're imagining it. They either feel just as nervous as you do, or maybe a bit impatient.
A door at the end of the walk heralds the entrance to the flight deck and a familiar sight of unending stars greets your vision, grasping your spark the same way it did the first time you saw them. These stars have overlooked a few important milestones in your new metal life, and you can only hope that this next one goes over more smoothly.
The Seekers take you to a crumbling alcove, similar to the smoking wreckage where your old temporary room was blown up. (In fact, the longer you look at it, the more you think it might be the same one.) The walls are scarred with long cooled scorch marks from the firefight, and there are a few blackened storage containers that make for an impromptu wall surrounding the three of you.
The brothers lower you to the deck and each take a knee so that you don't have to crane your head so much to look at them. They're still unbelievably tall, and you do get a bit of a kink in your delicate neck cables as you stare up at them, but it's not especially uncomfortable. You appreciate their thoughtfulness, but it doesn't distract enough to ease your nervousness about your current situation.
You have been meaning to tell them for a while, but a familiar sour thought enters your processor. What if they react badly? Maybe Elita would take care of you if they reject you, but a sad lump forms in your intake at the thought. You'd be sad to leave them. Your brief life with the Seekers so far has been fulfilling and thrilling, and as much as you want to blame your alien instincts for the connection, you know they're not entirely to blame.
You genuinely like the Seekers. They're fun, and fiercely protective. It makes your spark flutter to know that they would protect you from literally anything, and the fierce gazes they shoot at the Autobots are entirely for your sake. They've never asked you to do anything you don't want, and they take care of you in a way that seems genuine, at least from your perspective.
Starscream's wing twitches almost imperceptibly, the only clue to his burgeoning impatience. Skywarp looks to be fighting a smile on his faceplate. Whatever they think you're gonna tell them, he seems to think it's a good thing. You'll be devastated to see his smile fall if he reacts badly to your secret.
"Uhm." It's suddenly so hard to speak. Your glossa feels like it weighs a thousand pounds and is magnetised to the bottom of your intake. You can feel your wings trembling, and you fight not to cry again. Your optics water with the familiar lubricant without your permission. Buck up! You can do this!
"I-I'm…" You take a big swallow, even though your intake has never felt drier. Your optics are drawn to any tiny movement the Seekers are making, from the smallest twitch of a talon to the flick of a wing. Breathe in, breathe out. You can do this. No backing out now.
"I don't know what you've heard about me from the others, but there's something I want you to know about me. It may change how you see me, but it's an important part of me." Ok, so far so good. Your lip plate trembles a bit at the last word, but your words are still coming across clear. Here goes.
"You may have heard from Optimus or Ratchet that I was made by the Emberstone, but that isn't entirely true." A rumble of displeasure is heard from Starscream's engine at the mention of the Autobots, but he doesn't interrupt. You gulp, trying to add any semblance of moisture to your intake. "It's not untrue either, but it isn't the whole truth."
Your servos are clenched together, and if you were still human you imagine they'd be sweaty. The plates on your shoulders are clattering so hard they rattle. Skywarp looks like he wants to scoop you up to stop your trembling, but his servos are clenched together too. He keeps them to himself, as much as you can tell he's holding back.
"T-the Emberstone made me but-" you can't stop the full body shudder that passes through your body. "B-but I was something else before. I was human." The word sounds sharp and wrong coming from your vocalizer, as if it's fighting against you. "I hope this doesn't change anything, I'm sorry. I'm so s-sorry."
There. You did it. You said it, now they know. You don't remember offlining your optics, but you can't look at them right now. Tears continue to prickle at the edges, but they don't fall. The air surrounding the three of you is charged and heavy, but neither Starscream nor Skywarp say a word.
One klik, two kliks, neither of them make a sound. They're not saying anything, and the silence feels oppressive all of a sudden. The only sound you can hear is the thundering of your own spark and the clatter of your metal plates.
They aren't saying anything. Why haven't they said anything? Are they still there? Have they walked away? Was this the final straw? Is this the end of your time together? Your processor buzzes with a hundred negative outcomes, one after the other. There's no time to dismiss one before you're throttled by ten more negative thoughts. You're stuck in a state of unknowing, but if you never online your optics, you'll never see the smile fall from Skywarp's faceplate and you can just exist in this unknowing limbo forever. The thought is almost comforting, as anything is better than the alternative.
The worst part is you can imagine the look on Starscream's faceplate, a look of disgust at your corrupted ill-formed body. You can imagine Skywarp washing his servos at the thought of having ever touched you. An abomination masquerading as a child of their species. You wouldn't blame them, you'd be disgusted too.
Whether it's your new alien instincts or some long buried part of you, suddenly you wish for something, anything to touch you. Something to ground you in this swirl of turbulent emotions. Your processor only shows you the worst possible outcomes, and the dark space traps you in a perpetual motion of negativity. The flight deck beneath your pedes is indistinguishable from a deep void, and your servos have unclenched from their nervous fidgeting. A single touch from either Seeker would break you from this downward spiral, but you don't have the courage to online your optics.
Your servos raise slightly upward, palms open. They're shaking, you know they are, and the rest of you follows suit. No tears have fallen, for which you're glad. You don't think your body can take this much crying in such a short period of time. With your memories from before missing, you can't remember if you were such a crybaby as a human. You want to believe that you weren't, you want to believe this body is the reason you're such an emotional mess. Something about being reborn as a baby robot being the root of all your problems.
Your bottom lip plate trembles, and a surprise hiccup escapes your chassis. Just one, and you're not crying, but it's enough to startle you and your optics shoot open in surprise. Feeling embarrassment at your own body's betrayals, you online your optics and are greeted to the sight of your own outstretched servos first and secondly the Seekers.
They look mostly the same as before you told them, a small smile now present on Skywarp's face. Starscream looks mostly the same too, but with an air of indifference surrounding him.
A few astroseconds tick by before he speaks, cutting the tense air like a knife with his words.
"Is that all?"
Your jaw clenches to stop from falling open at his statement.
"Little wing, if that was all you were afraid to tell us, then rest assured nothing has changed." He reaches a clawed servo to grab you off the ground, faster than he has ever dared before. He clutches you in a semblance of a fist, and another hiccup of surprise escapes you. The ground spins away leaving you with a slightly dizzying feeling, either from the shock or the speed you're unsure, but it settles in your tanks like fizzy soda. "You are ours, and nothing will change that."
You search his red optics for falsities in his declaration, but find none. Turning your helm to look at Skywarp, his optics show no sign of disagreeing with his brother. "You'll have to learn to fly fast if you think you lose us that easily." His sharp smirk sets your spark on fire.
You can hardly believe it. It's…fine? Everything is fine? Looking back and forth between the Seeker brothers, you stammer for confirmation. "W-what? Really? Y-you don't mind?"
A long talon reaches and rubs your cheek. "If that was your weak attempt to try and leave us for the femme, you'll have to find an alternative." His grin is good natured, but you can hardly believe it.
"I wouldn't–!" You shout back, quick to refute his statement. His optics glitter with a joking light, and you realise belatedly that you fell for his trap. Embarrassment creeps up your faceplate, making the metal there feel hot. Vents you didn't know existed expel anxiety riddled plumes of steam from your body only to have it be replaced by the feeling of sheer mortification.
"Aww," Skywarp coos, "We know you wouldn't leave us. Still, it's nice to hear." His grin is toothy and pointed. It only succeeds in setting your faceplate further aflame.
Starscream tosses you high in the air without ceremony, and your wings automatically flare for descent. Skywarp catches you easily (there was never a moment you thought he'd let you fall) and pokes your nose with impeccable precision. "As if we'd ever let you go."
Something in there in heavier connotations of the statement. They mean something more when they call you theirs, but you're too relieved at the moment to consider the concept further.
You melt into Skywarp's ministrations, his pets and caresses starting slow and evolving into more energetic snuggles. A few spots are ticklish too, and you giggle for the first time in what seems like forever; he laughs right back. His optics are happy, with a seriousness that you don't usually catch hidden behind his antics.
The brothers take turns tossing you back and forth, each launch making you soar high in the air. Your wings extend every time as if by instinct, and they each take a step back after every successful catch of your body. You feel light, and not just because you're literally airborne. They've accepted you, and a full laugh escapes you uninhibited by your previous tension. It's like a weight has been untethered from your processor, and in this moment you feel like you really could fly.
Each lazy catch means more to you than any well-meaning word. You never even think for a moment that they'll let you fall, and even as the throws become longer and higher, they only succeed in making you feel safe. Smile as big as a sun and wings lighter than air, these Seekers who you've only known for a week seem to know you the best in this whole universe. And now that they know about your secret, you want to know them just as well. The thought sets your spark ablaze; you want to know all about them too.
You get your wish, but not in the way you want. Your game with the Seekers is rudely interrupted by an angry shout from a thickly accented voice The green and white Autobot stomps towards your adopted playground on the flight deck, his pedes rattling the charred storage containers.
"What are you–! You slaggers, put that sparkling down right now!"
There's still a lot you don't know about Cybertronian culture, but you get the feeling slagger is a bad word. The usual creep of fear that you normally feel when you see the green mech doesn't appear like you expect. Instead you find yourself annoyed that he interrupted your game. And angry that he insulted your Seekers.
As Starscream catches you in mid-air, both your helms turn in tandem to scowl at the intruder.
"Leave us be, Wheeljack." Skywarp takes a step closer to the Autobot. "This has nothing to do with you."
"As if I'd listen to you, Slagwarp." Wheeljack's voice is cutting with a western edge to it. "Especially as I'm witnessin' you both personally harming a sparkling. I knew your code was corrupted."
You stiffen in indignation. You're not hurt, you were clearly having fun. What was this guy's problem?
"Oh, go complain to your Prime." Starscream bites back, his rasp sharp and biting. "They are unharmed, it is your optics that must be faulty. And as if you know anything about Seekerlet care." You get the impression that Starscream would normally be preening in this scenario.
Wheeljack visibly bristles, and you can see him tense up as if raring to fight. What was with all these Autobots constantly itching for a fight?
"That sparkling ain't safe with you, an' I have the right to remove them from dangerous situations. An' your presence definitely counts." You don't know him but he's quickly shooting to the bottom of your favoured Autobot list. Hell, maybe you'll take him off the list entirely. "They don't know how much Energon you've spilled, you don't have the right to claim them."
Starscream tenses slightly, barely noticeable but you catch it. You know that he's prepared to fight to defend you, but this guy has done nothing but insult them since he got here. You're kind of impressed Starscream hasn't decked him already. Even the weird gun he has hidden in his arm stays decidedly out of sight. When you saw it earlier in the shootout, it was definitely alien in design, and scary to boot. You're glad Starscream is on your side.
"If they knew the slag that you've done…" Wheeljack's optics flicker down to you for a klik, almost like a warning, then they meet Starscream's again. "They'd run faster than a Wrecker from a swarm of scraplets."
Skywarp growls low, Starscream's joining in with a resonant frequency. But both are muted by your shrill voice.
"Hey, shut up!"
Wheeljack has the decency to look gobsmacked at your shout. Skywarp and Starscream look shocked as well, but blanketed with a hint of fondness. Your optics don't shrink away from Wheeljack's blue gaze, and you know you look mad.
Your servos are clenched so tight a pressure builds in your forearm panels. There aren't vents there but you can imagine bursts of steam coming out your seams. "You're just a bully! Leave us alone!"
"Sparkling, listen to me–" He starts, servos up and placating. This is the first time he's addressed you directly. He reminds you a bit of Optimus with how quickly he tries to shut down your justified anger. But you aren't having it. You offline your optics and cover your audials with your servos.
"I'm not listening to you, la la la!" It's petulant and childish, but it is the first thing you could think of to piss him off. If he is going to be a bully, you are going to be mean right back.
He grunts, obviously frustrated, but that's exactly what you want. It's time for at least one of the Autobots to get a bit of their own medicine.
"They're bad news! You're not safe with them!" His western voice is laced with concern which you decidedly ignore. "They won't hesitate to hurt you for their own goals! I've seen them turn on Autobot and Decepticon alike, you can't trust them!"
You can barely hear him, but somehow his words ring throughout your processor. Did he really think you would believe his obvious lies? You online a single optic to smirk up at Starscream expecting a returning smirk, but he doesn't look down at you, instead keeping his gaze focused on Wheeljack. Glancing over at Skywarp, his expression can only be described as sick. His cheerful smirk from earlier has disappeared and it's been replaced by cold unease.
Your smirk falters, a sour feeling turning your fuel lines to ice. Whatever Wheeljack is saying is bothering them. They aren't retorting like they usually do.
For whatever reason, it just makes you angrier on their behalf. This guy waltzes up and starts insulting the Seekers and for whatever reason they're just standing there taking it. It's unlike them, and it makes you upset. The emotions swirl within your chassis like a tornado and soon you're yelling over the sound of your furious spark.
"I said leave!" You throw out a servo, pointing to the nearest exit of the flight deck. The motion is harsh and aggressive, and it's followed by the sound of panels shifting along your forearm. Your arm feels weird, but you don't have enough time to react before something launches out of the panel and hits the floor a few metres from where you're held. Whatever it is bounces twice and then rolls in a vague semicircle before it stops moving. There's a small red blinking light on it, whatever it is, and after a few kliks the light starts to blink faster.
Everyone is staring at the small thing now, Wheeljack included. The flight deck is unnaturally quiet. The Autobot even takes a step closer to the thing bravely when suddenly it explodes, making a miniscule blast radius and shattering the silence. It's nowhere near big enough to do any damage to the floor or Wheeljack, but it leaves a small charred spot on the ground where it detonated. A small plume of smoke starts and fades as you make sense of what just happened.
Was that….a mine? A tiny bomb came out of your forearm. Slowly looking at the opened panel on your forearm, you can see a small device that could be a launcher of some kind. You have weapons? Is that allowed?
A few astroseconds later Skywarp whoops and activates the thrusters on his pedes to fly over to Starscream and you in record time. He grabs you from his brother's shocked-still servos and tosses you in the air a few times for good measure.
"You're as scary as a null ray, aren't ya! You're gonna be a terror in the skies." He sounds elated while you're still reeling. Dully you pick up a tension in his servos, like he's compensating for something.
Neither Wheeljack nor Starscream speak, both seemingly too stunned to move. But while Wheeljack looks genuinely shocked, Starscream looks more sombre. He's thinking about something, but Skywarp's next words interrupt your swirling thoughts.
"You heard 'em, get out of here." He bares his sharp denta at Wheeljack, and you fight the urge to stick out your glossa. Wheeljack puts a servo up to his comm unit, and you presume he's talking to another Autobot. His expression falls slightly, clearly unhappy with what he's hearing. With a few more furtive glances cast your way, he's clearly hesitant to leave but turns his pede anyway.
His steps grow quieter as he moves away from your group, and he doesn't say anything more before he's out of sight. You turn to Starscream from your position in Skywarp's palm to try and give him a small smile. Whatever Wheeljack said must've hurt his feelings pretty badly, and you attempt to make him feel better.
A chirrup escapes your intake, and it succeeds in getting Starscream's attention. Skywarp coos from above you, but you pay him no mind. Red optics settle over your body, flickering briefly to the mini missile launcher as it folds back into your arm.
Your optics look up at him expectantly, he probably wants to talk about what just happened. He's probably proud you're as deadly as him, right? You've even got similar arm launcher things! But he remains silent and stares down at you with an intensity that makes you weak in the knees. You're still worried about him, and try to convey that feeling with your optics.
"Cheer up, Screamer. Did you see that? They fought for us! We should be celebrating!" Skywarp always seems to be the first one to cheer up the group, be it you or Starscream. You don't know what's bugging Starscream specifically, but he seems to snap out of it with Skywarp's words.
"Very fearsome." He nods in agreement but his mood still seems off. He's meeting your optics, but not lingering. He's not smiling either. Emboldened by your recent spectacle, you ask him outright without hesitating.
"Starscream, you okay?"
Skywarp's servos jerk imperceptibly from beneath you, as if he didn't expect you to pick up on his brother's mood. Starscream too, looks mildly surprised. He chuffs, as if trying to release his own tension, but your persistent stare has the desired effect. His shoulder pauldrons lower and before your optics his expression becomes sad.
You suddenly feel horrible for asking. Who are you to try and play therapist for a giant ageless robot. There's no way you're even close to qualified in making him feel better, and if anything you'll probably only succeed in making the situation worse.
But it's too late to do anything now, except clutch at your own claws and listen.
"It is just…" He begins tentatively. Worry pools in your gut. "The only sparklings that have access to their weaponry at your frame size are ones that have needed to defend themselves." His optics have a heavy weight to them, and you're sure if you look up at Skywarp you'll see the same expression. But you're confused, why would it be a bad thing to defend yourself? A quizzical expression must show on your face, because he continues.
"Do you understand, little wing? A child would need to defend themself. A youngling felt that they were in enough danger and alone" he hisses that last word, "that their processor determined the only way for them to survive was to spend vital energy meant for growing on a single means of defending themself."
You think you get it. Basically what he's saying is that it's wrong for kids to fight when they should focus on growing up. You online your vocalizer to reassure him but he's not done talking.
"At the core of our base code as Cybertronians is the abhorrence of any sparkling coming to harm. This much is ingrained in every processor, be they Autobot, Decepticon, or Neutral."
"The fact that a sparkling should even need weapons connotes a situation where the youngling would need to defend themselves. Alone. That there was no full frame Cybertronian around to defend them." He's shaking now, just a little. "Do you understand, little one, why I cannot be fully pleased by your display of weaponry?" The red hue is blazing in his optics as he waits for your response.
Skywarp, too, is shaking beneath you. But you understand.
They're not upset at the fact that you have weapons. They're upset that you ever needed them in the first place. The fact you have them means that your body felt so vulnerable that your inner survival code made a drastic decision in order to defend yourself. And that they weren't there to help you. Kinda like allocating space by deleting your previous memories.
The shaking isn't because they are sad you needed weapons, they feel bad for not being there for you.
Craning your helm to look up at Skywarp, you see on his faceplate a look of deep emotion, which is a drastic change from his previous cheer. But alongside their sad mood, a swell of affection for the two Seekers erupts from your spark chamber like an overflowing volcano.
They didn't even know you existed before, and they feel bad that they hadn't been there. It seems so silly; they didn't know about you at all and they feel bad that they couldn't have been the ones to help you earlier. They're giant alien robots and they feel bad about something that's completely out of their control. The absurdity of it makes you want to laugh and brighten their mood.
A different sound escapes from your chassis though, not a chirp or a chirrup like you've come to expect. Instead, the noise that leaves you sounds more like a song, with ebbs and flows of frequency that bring out the feeling of lightness you feel in your spark. It sounds like a high pitched hum intermixed with birdsong. You don't try to suppress it, instead you channel it towards your Seeker protectors.
Starscream is briefly stunned by the sound but comes back to his senses quicker than his trinemate. "Seekerlet, this is not something to be gladenned by-" But he stops speaking when he sees the look on your face.
You smile at him and reach out a servo to coerce his talon closer to you. It works like a magnet, his servo raises a digit to your cheek with pinpoint precision. You look up at Skywarp as you hold his brother's servo to your faceplate, rubbing the talon into the malleable metal of your cheek.
"Thank you for caring about me." Your voice doesn't need to be loud, they can hear you just fine. "It means a lot." There are more feelings you want to express, but they're all complicated and hard to explain using words. Words like thank you for getting sad for me and you mean a lot to me too flutter about your spark. You hope your feelings get across with this meagre attempt, but some words are difficult to say properly.
The sadness is still present in Starscream's optics, but it's muted through the curtain of affection you see swimming in the red glow. A little wet laugh escapes your vocalizer alongside the song, and you can't remember if you've ever felt affection like this before. Starscream's digit rubs your cheek in tiny precise circles and Skywarp rumbles his engine underneath you. Whatever has transpired between the three of you in this moment is going to be a memory that you'll keep forever. Any thought of don't get too attached is immediately thrown out, you know you're in way too deep now.
You linger there a moment, the music emitting from your chassis binding the three of you in a trance. It flutters light within you, and the Seekers are bound to the sound as much as you are. Maybe even more; Skywarp even sways a bit with the sound. Starscream is as still as a statue, his optics glazed and unfocused, but he looks a little bit happy.
The song in your chassis slowly tapers off until it's barely audible, and the emotional moment breaks. Skywarp shifts a bit as if antsy, elicits a fake sounding cough and breaks the warm companionable silence.
"Hey look, you can see Cybertron from here. We're closer than I thought!"
Starscream's helm whips around to where Skywarp is facing, so fast you're sure you'd break a fuel line if you tried it. His lowered wings shoot up at the name of the planet and his optics search the darkened sky for the glint of Cybertron.
You can see the instant he spots it. His body freezes as if he's been shot, and even the usual tell-tale twitch of his wings is still. Cybertronians don't need to blink, but you're positive he wouldn't even if he needed to.
Skywarp's previous small watery smile grows into a cheek splitting grin as he too, refuses to gaze away from their twinkling destination.
Looking up at them so entranced, you feel almost jealous at the fact their attention was so easily torn away from you. Feeling a bit childish at the sentiment, you allow your voice to be heard.
"How long's it been? Since you've been there?"
Neither Seeker moves, neither helm turns to look down at you. Instead Skywarp responds without tearing his gaze away.
"Give or take four million years."
Four million years? Your processor reels at the concept of being alive and sentient that long. And you definitely underestimated how old these aliens are. Will you be alive that long? Will you ever change back to the way you were?
The look on their faceplates tell you that there's a lot of deep emotion that these beings have for their home planet. You know so little about the place, despite it being the home of your favourite Seekers. And you wanted to know more about them, it's hard to argue that this might be the perfect time.
"Will you tell me? About Cybertron? And about you both?" Your voice tapers off quieter at the end as you consider your next words. "And about Thundercracker?" You almost didn't dare bring him up after this shared emotional episode. But your bravery from earlier hasn't worn off quite yet, and judging from the lack of tension in Starscream's pauldrons reassure you that you're in the clear.
His helm slowly tears away from the glittering speck in the distance to look at you fondly. A rush of joy hits your processor at the attention being diverted back to you, but it's quickly staunched in favour of listening.
"Yes, of course. I would be glad to." His usual rasp is soft like a wool blanket. He looks back to the distant flickering light but reaches his servos to you, making a bridge for you to climb over. Tucking you into his neck cables, warm and comfortable, the thrum of his engine soothes your battered tension. Skywarp allows the transfer, and both Seekers lean against a nearby building as they speak.
The purple Seekers snickers a little bit and you look at him curiously.
"You don't know this Seekerling, but you've accidentally stumbled upon Starscream's favourite pastime." He looks smarmy at his brother and juts out a thumb digit in his direction. "Starscream loves talking about himself."
Starscream doesn't even try to deny the statement, instead puffing out his chassis. "Of course, who wouldn't want to hear tales of my conquests and successes?" His usual prideful stance is back, making you relieved. "Where to begin? My academic successes as a leading scientist during the Golden Age? Or my rise in the ranks to the post of Air Commander during the war? Or better yet, our Trine flight that was so spectacular we were awarded the title of Command Trine?" His ruby optics glance at you slyly.
You're so overwhelmed with the overflow of information, where to begin? Being alive for over four million years must mean they have a lot to share right? Silently you wonder if you'll even have time to go through it all.
Sharing a knowing glance with Skywarp, you address him instead. "Were you there too? During all that?" The Seeker in question chuckles and Starscream looks lightly miffed that you haven't addressed him first. Skywarp leans more languidly against the structure and replies. "Oh yeah, Screamer wouldn't have gotten anywhere without me. TC and I have been around since we were sparked together." He waves an arm to belittle Starscream's achievements.
Right, they must've grown up together. A memory of Starscream mentioning that Seekerlings are always born in family groups flashes in your processor. "Were there others? Other siblings I mean." The concept fascinates you, and a brief image of five other baby Starscreams makes you want to laugh.
"Nah," Skywarp responds, tilting his helm to the side. "Just us three. And trust me, everyone who knew us around that time was thankful that we were only three."
"I was the natural leader, even from our first solar cycle." Starscream cuts in, his rasp prideful as usual. "Someone had to keep these fools in line."
"In line?" Skywarp actually laughs. "If I remember, you were the one getting us in trouble in the first place. TC was always the one getting us out of trouble."
You're happy they're able to bring up Thundercracker without getting sad. It can't be easy to be talking about him when his passing wasn't that long ago. As sad as you feel about his passing, you're glad you can share a piece of him with his brothers.
"Without risk, we would not have gotten as far as we did." Starscream retorts. "Command Trine, Air Commander, Second-in-Command, these were all achievements due to my ambition."
"Half the trouble we got into was your fault though." Skywarp points a lazy digit at his brother, who steams slightly. It's all in good fun, you get the impression they've been bickering like this for centuries. Brothers are the same no matter what planet you're from.
"I was not the one who almost invited Nova Storm to the Trine. Really? Her of all Seekers?" Starscream rolled his optics dramatically.
That name sounds familiar, so you look at Skywarp for clarification. He shrugs a little and shakes his helm. "What can I say? I look good in a femme frame, saw my opportunity and took it."
Wait. Back up. Robots can change their gender? The concept of sex versus gender might be too complicated for this exchange, especially for robots, but you want clarification.
"You had a femme frame?" You try to picture what femme Skywarp would look like. The purple colouring would definitely look amazing.
Skywarp nods smugly. "You wanna see? I'll send you a visual." Just as he says so, an incoming file notification shows up on your HUD. Waving the possible virus warning away, the image pops up in a new window.
Femme Skywarp is just as fearsome as mech Skywarp. She's sleeker and more angular in places, and has some killer features that make her look absolutely deadly. She's way cooler than you imagine. Certain parts are daintier, like the tips of her digits and her abdominal plating, but you can imagine that she's just as fast as the Skywarp you've come to know.
"If we'd known about you a few solar cycles earlier, you would have met her." Skywarp seems wistful while Starscream scoffs.
"Is it easy?" You can't help inquiring. "Changing from mech to femme?"
"It's not a quick procedure, but it's not a painful one." Skywarp responds, a digit tapping his lip plate. "I did it for two reasons; one to see how good I'd look," you can't help but let out a small chuckle at his posturing, "and the other to see if Nova Storm would be a better fit if I was a femme frame like her. Making the group flights more balanced, y'know?"
You guess it made sense. With Thundercracker and Starscream being two mechs, and Nova Storm and Skywarp being the two femmes. More symmetrical that way.
"Which one am I?" You realise with a start that you don't know. Your gender from before escapes you, as if it wasn't even important in the first place. Did you have a designated gender that you didn't know about? "Is my frame mech or femme?"
"Neither." Starscream's raspy voice replies. "Sparklings are always gender neutral until they choose when they grow to a larger frame size. All sparklings are referred to as 'they' until they make the distinction themselves."
You're kind of shocked. It's extremely progressive in your mind, but you guess robots don't consider things like gender and sex important. Just another way that human and Cybertronian culture differ. It makes sense now that you think about it. Not a single Autobot or your Seekers had ever referred to you as anything but they. It's cool to think you'll get to choose later. (If you're still like this later)
"Can you change other things too? Like colour and shape?"
"If you are asking if we have the ability to choose a Grounder alt then your question is moot because we never would." You shake your head at Starscream, that's not what you mean.
"I mean, do you have to look the same forever, other than if you want to change your gender?"
"We can change the amount of each colour we have on our paint, but the colours themselves can't change." Skywarp looks sharply at his brother. "Except for optics. Optics are changed according to allegiance."
Hmm, that made sense why all the Autobots had blue optics and the Seekers had red optics. Did Barricade have red optics too? Was he potentially an ally? You're minutely glad you have an easy way to tell now, but then again Elita-1 has blue optics and she's a good Autobot. The situation is too complicated to simplify to just optic colour. You shake your helm slightly to unclutter your busy processor. Alien politics are complicated. Wasn't the war supposed to be over already?
Starscream waves him off. "Yes yes, I had blue optics once, it is hardly a big deal. Not important, moving on." You don't get the opening to pry further before he continues. "What is important is filling in the important gaps in your knowledge." You lean around his chin to get a better look at his expression. "Such as the illustrious history of Vos."
Skywarp palms his faceplate good-naturedly, a smile hidden behind his servo. "Here we go."
Vos isn't a word you recognize. Is Vos a person? A place? You ask these questions to Starscream.
"Vos is the home of all Seekers on Cybertron; an impressive crystalline city built especially for flight frames." He waves a servo at the speck you've come to recognize as Cybertron. "A place where the best of art and culture of Cybertron derive, and the very city where we were sparked." You catch the tail end of a wink from your position.
He delves further into detail. "Glittering skyscrapers that touch the clouds and the crescendo of thrusters creating a symphony of light and sound." Nostalgia has him in a vice grip, Skywarp rolls his optics. Starscream continues his history lesson with great panache.
He goes on about Vos for a while, his voice shifting with inflections and boisterous comments. Skywarp even chimes in on a couple of details, usually to disagree with Starscream, but the smiles on their faces make it enjoyable. Some things are a bit out of your depth, but you're having a good time regardless.
They even bring up Thundercracker a few times, mostly talking about their first Trine flight. Starscream paints a vivid picture of death-defying acrobatics entwined with perilous acts of aerial skill. You can almost see it, and you wish more than anything that there was a video recording you could watch, but you're disappointed to find out that no such thing exists anymore. They would have needed a living witness to the spectacle, and as far as the three of you are aware, there are no other Seekers.
Skywarp chimes up that they could still show you, but Starscream elbows him in the abdominal plate causing him to wheeze. He doesn't bring it up again. You understand that the reason is because of Thundercracker, so you easily let it slide. Skywarp probably spoke without thinking, so you try and get his mind off of it quickly.
"What will you do when you go back?" You hope the question gets their mind off of their brother, but instead it does the opposite. Starscream and Skywarp share a look and they're both silent for a while. Almost like they don't want to tell you, or maybe they're just talking over a private comm.
That's something you haven't gotten used to yet; others talking over comms in front of you. At the beginning you found it a bit insulting, it felt like being personally excluded from a conversation. The more you spent time with these huge beings the more it seemed normal. This might be something to ask about later.
"Well," Starscream starts, "First we have to see if the plan the Autobots have works in the first place." He sounds sceptical, but you catch a twinge of hope in his voice. A part of him must want them to succeed. There's more to his tone, but you don't pry further. Him and Skywarp undoubtedly have a history of fighting with the Autobots, and judging from the interactions you've seen, they aren't exactly on friendly terms. The fact that you prefer their company over the Autobots is just a cherry on top.
You've lingered enough on the flight deck at this point. And while you're not tired per se, you're finding it hard to come up with questions to ask them.
You've learned a lot; about Cybertron, about Vos, about how robots view gender? This is only the tip of the iceberg, and you're excited to know more. But the Seekers notice you nodding off a bit, and their voices slowly take on a low quality. Before you know it, the gentle rumble of their vocalizers fade to low murmurs and whispers until no one speaks at all. The three of you gaze at the blinking light of Cybertron with three ideas of what may happen when you land on the surface.
Stargazing isn't something you remember doing before, but it's nice to get lost in the vastness around you. You feel both grounded by the brother's presence and incredibly free at the same time, what 13 year old kid has ever seen space this close?
Feeling safe and happy, you slip into a light nap. The last thing you remember as you offline your optics is the calming rumble of Starscream's engine, warm underneath your plating, and Skywarp's chuckle saying goodnight.
