Part One
Chapter Seven
It would be more surprising if I told you Teruhashi-san didn't manage to get the test moved to September, so I'll spare you the lies and say everything worked out the way Nendou predicted. Naturally, that meant the world was about to end in the worst way possible. Believe me, an over-active volcano would be a blessing compared to the nightmare I found myself in over the next few months; at least that would kill me quickly. This, on the other hand, is a fate worse than death; it's hell on earth.
Obligatory Gesture
"Oh, Kokomi-chan! It's so good to see you again, dear. How are you?"
Don't pretend like she hasn't been here every day for two months.
"I'm doing wonderfully, Auntie. Saiki-kun and I are almost done with our project, but we still have the presentation to work on, so I'll probably come by for a while longer. I hope that's okay."
Don't pretend like you didn't blackmail me into bringing you here.
"That sounds perfect! It's so wonderful to see my Ku-chan spending so much time with his friends."
We're not friends.
"Oh, no, I'm the lucky one, honestly. You might even say I've been blessed by God!"
I bet you blackmailed Him too.
"Will you be staying for dinner again, Kokomi-chan? I was planning to make pork chops tonight; they're Ku-chan's favorite! Would you like to help?"
Stop teaching her how to make my favorite foods; she's not in bridal training.
"I would love to help! You make such delicious food, Auntie, that I couldn't possibly pass up the opportunity to improve."
I know what you're thinking, and it's never going to happen; food won't make me 'offu.'
"Well why don't the two of you head upstairs to work on your project? I'll bring up some snacks for you in a bit then call you down again when it's time to start dinner."
Does my opinion count for nothing in all this?
"Thank you so much for your hospitality!"
Sighing, Kusuo led the way to his room with Teruhashi following cheerily behind with her schoolbag clasped by the handle with both hands. She was practically skipping and glowed so brightly from her overly giddy smile that she might as well be singing "la, la, la."
What will it take to get this chick to leave me alone?
Kusuo held the door to his bedroom and let Teruhashi enter first. Somehow, her smile turned even brighter as she offered him a grateful nod and literally twirled inside. The small kotatsu table she'd nagged him to get was still set up in the center of the room, though it obviously didn't have the futon attached because it was blazing outside. July had come in with a vengeance and hadn't let up at all despite being half-over.
Teruhashi took her usual seat on the cushion to the left, which left Kusuo the cushion on the right, unless he wanted to sit right next to her on either end. Which he didn't. Teruhashi 'accidentally' brushed his hands and arms enough when they were separated by the whole tabletop (which, admittedly, wasn't that big), he didn't want to imagine how many times "oops" or "sorry" would be said if he gave in and sat beside her like he knew she wanted.
Settling on the cushion opposite her, Kusuo pulled the project board out from under the bed and laid it out. Teruhashi hadn't been wrong when she said they were almost done with it, but she also hadn't mentioned to his mother that they didn't need to start it at all until last week since the presentation wasn't until the last day of school before summer break. It also wasn't a very involved presentation as they only needed to give a general overview of the battle of Sekigahara in 1600 and why it led to the establishment of the Tokugawa shogunate by Tokugawa Ieyasu three years later.
Considering their combined intellect—even if Kusuo's grades had been an accurate reflection of his own—such a simple project could have, even should have, been completed in two or three days. A week tops. So far, they had spent almost two months on it. And the reason for that?
The rapid-fire knocking against Kusuo's door sounded exactly on cue after only ten minutes of talking chart designs and image placement that Teruhashi was obviously sabotaging the entire time. She got hung up on the smallest details, like why they should use one shade of red over the other and how she couldn't possibly allow such low-resolution print outs, how did those even get in there? So sorry about that.
It was almost enough to make Kusuo rip his hair out.
As she always did, Teruhashi abandoned her place at the table and skipped to the door with a too wide grin as she opened it to reveal Iridatsu Yuuta in all his green haired, green eyed, white-hatted glory. He grinned up at Teruhashi, matching her perfectly for enthusiasm, with a colorful invitation in hand and stars in his eyes.
"Look, look, look, Peach-T Girl! It's my birthday on Saturday, and Mom said I can have a big party with all my friends since I'm turning six! We'll have a Cyborg Cider-man #2 cake and Cyborg Cider-man #2 balloons and Cyborg Cider-man #2 soda and Cyborg Cider-man #2 games! And I told all my friends about you guys, too! I said that I know the real Cyborg Cider-man #2 and the real Peach-T Girl! No one believed me, but you'll come to my party and show them I'm not lying, right Peach-T Girl and Cyborg Cider-man #2?"
And so enters the devil's progeny.
It wasn't entirely fair of Kusuo to think such a thing; Yuuta was still only five, after all, so it was hardly his fault that Teruhashi used his naïveté to accomplish her devious goals. And because it was Teruhashi manipulating the strings in this puppet show, Kusuo would feel like a total jerk if he didn't concede to the boy's requests simply to extract himself from Teruhashi's continued pursuit.
Even worse, Kusuo found it hard to fault Teruhashi for her attempts either. Not only did her inclusion of Yuuta on an almost daily basis thrill the boy to no end, she actually seemed to enjoy having him around. Kusuo was pretty sure that was because she enjoyed using Kusuo's weapons and strategies against him and was taking a prolonged approach to revenge for ruining their "date" to the amusement park three summers ago, but it didn't change the fact that Yuuta adored her.
"That sounds amazing, Yuu-chan! Unfortunately, mine and Cyborg Cider-man #2's uniforms were ruined during our last battle against Baron Cola."
"Oh…" Yuuta deflated, and Kusuo looked over at Teruhashi in surprise. Was she finally done playing her manipulative game? Who would have guessed…
Teruhashi clapped her hands and grinned. "So, I guess that means we'll have to spend the rest of the week making new ones!"
I should have known…
"Uwaaaa! Really? Really, really, really, really, really? You and Cyborg Cider-man #2 are going to make new uniforms? Can I help? Can I, can I, can I?"
"Of course, you can!"
"Yaaay!"
Great. Another excuse to put off this project for yet another week. Still, Kusuo couldn't help but smile at the combined enthusiasm of Yuuta and Teruhashi as she sat in front of the boy on her knees and held up both palms for him to slap with his own. The pair chatted about upgrades and material as Yuuta pulled out his newest weekly edition of the Cider-man comic book and flipped through to show "Peach-T Girl" his favorite version of Cyborg Cider-man #2's uniform.
Teruhashi caught Kusuo's gaze over Yuuta's head, her indigo eyes shimmering with success and humor as they both knew exactly what she was doing, and they both knew he had no choice but to go along with it. Not only did she have Yuuta on her side—and fair was fair, after all; he had used Yuuta's presence to further his own goals before—but she also had Mom, who absolutely adored Teruhashi in every way.
So, like it or not, Kusuo had to put up with regular interruptions from Yuuta that 'somehow' always ended up with him and Teruhashi at the park with the boy or watching Cyborg Cider-man side-by-side on the couch or gallivanting through the house reenacting Yuuta's favorite scenes from the Cider-man comics for hours on end until Kusuo's mother would call them all in for dinner, and Kusuo was left to pack up their largely untouched project to 'work on' again the next day.
"What do you think about this?" Teruhashi asked as she sketched a new uniform for Peach-T Girl. "Nothing wrong with a few upgrades, right?"
"Yeah! Can you put a laser in your eyepatch too? That would be so cool, Peach-T Girl!"
Teruhashi giggled and rubbed Yuuta's hat. "I think I'll leave the laser shooting for my next upgrade. We can't do all of the cool things at once, right?"
Yare, yare. Since when did Teruhashi-san become so good with kids? Of course, it was always possible she still disliked Yuuta, but since Kusuo could no longer read her thoughts, he would never know. On the other hand, would anyone be willing to put up with the daily intrusions of someone they honestly couldn't stand? Not even Teruhashi was that perfect.
Wait, Kusuo sat up, his eyes widening of their own accord. Is she that perfect?
But if Teruhashi was so perfect that she could spend time with someone she hated then she would have to convince herself that she didn't actually hate that person because human nature was to put as much distance between oneself and the object of one's distain as possible. So did that mean that Teruhashi's perfectness overcame her own human nature to change her dislike for Yuuta into genuine affection?
Kusuo stared, gobsmacked. Are you even human?
"Eh?" Teruhashi looked over, smiling above Yuuta's head as she absently passed him a pink crayon she'd gotten from who knew where. "Did you say something, Saiki-kun?"
Of course, he didn't say anything; was she trying to be coy? Because he wasn't falling for it. Not even for half a second.
Kusuo set his chin on his palm and looked away without a word. A heavy silence settled between them, Yuuta's excited chattering notwithstanding, that grew steadily denser until Kusuo caught Teruhashi shifting uncertainly from the corner of his eye. He glanced over, though he didn't move his head or drop his hand to do so. Surprisingly, Teruhashi looked nervous, and even a little guilty, as she fiddled with her hands in her lap and glanced at him in short, anxious spurts. Her fidgeting went on for so long, Kusuo thought he might have to break the silence until Teruhashi suddenly cleared her throat and gave Yuuta a strained smile.
"Ne, Yuu-chan. Auntie was planning to bring up some snacks in a little while, why don't you go see if she needs help?" Teruhashi winked and tapped her nose. "I'm pretty sure I smelled cookies when I came in."
"Cookies?! Yay!" Yuuta's eyes shone with stars as he jumped to his feet and waved a frantic good-bye. "I'll go help her bring them, okay? But don't you guys work on the new uniforms without me, okay Peach-T Girl and Cyborg Cider-man #2?"
"Of course not, Yuu-chan! We wouldn't dream of it." Teruhashi waved him off until the door was closed. Her smile instantly dimmed, and maybe Kusuo was crazy, but he would swear the light in his room dimmed with it.
Teruhashi settled both hands in her lap, her fingers twisting in ways that looked painful as she met his gaze with surprisingly fiery eyes. After another moment of silence, she bent suddenly forward in a pristine, 40-degree bow.
"I'm sorry, Saiki-kun."
Wait, what?
"I've dragged this out too long, haven't I?" She looked sad as she straightened up, her smile soft but pained. "You agreed to an obligatory gesture of gratitude in exchange for my help with the physical fitness test, and I twisted it to suit my own means."
Hold on a second, what is she doing? Kusuo's guts twisted with uncertainty.
"I know by now—of course I do—that you don't feel anything for me. If you did, you would have done something now that your powers are sealed, but I've liked you for so long that I couldn't help but hope that, just maybe, spending more time with me would change your mind."
Her indigo eyes were glassy, but she didn't tear up as she smiled brighter even as the lights in his room seemed to grow even dimmer. "But I realize now I'm just deluding myself with my own selfishness."
Stop, Teruhashi-san. For the love of all coffee jelly, just stop.
"You're a person with a solitary nature, and I've intruded on your solitude for long enough." She stood and patted down her uniform skirt. "We're almost done with the project, but I can finish it on my own. I won't have to come here anymore after tonight except for…well…It's still pretty selfish, but it's okay if I come to Yuu-chan's party, right? I'll bring the costumes too, so you don't have to worry about that. I'm the one who roped you into it, after all."
Kusuo sat, frozen by horror, as Teruhashi fished their nearly completed poster out from under the bed and held it with both hands so she could bow. This really is happening…
"I suppose I'll see you at school tomorrow, Saiki-kun, though I promise I'll keep my distance from now on."
Teruhashi reached for the door without hesitation, and Kusuo's eyes widened. Something inside him snapped as she grasped the knob and pulled it open. He leaped over the small kotatsu, stumbling a bit on Yuuta's abandoned cushion, and lurched forward to slap his hand flat against the door. It slammed shut, the knob ripping free of Teruhashi's small hand, and he pressed his other hand against the solid wood as well to make sure it stayed closed. This also had the unfortunate side-effect of pinning Teruhashi between his body and the door, but as long as he didn't touch her, that was fine.
"S-Saiki-kun?" Teruhashi looked over her shoulder with wide eyes and blushed when she found herself nose-to-nose (literally) with the former psychic. "What—?"
"You can't leave."
Shock crossed Teruhashi's face before it faded to confusion. "But…you don't want me here…?"
Kusuo nodded his agreement. "I don't, but you can't leave."
"W-why?" Her eyes dropped to his lips, and Kusuo felt a sudden jolt up his spine as he realized how this probably looked to her. He could almost feel the gears in her mind turning as she definitely overthought his words and actions to a ridiculous degree. Her blush burned hotter and brighter until even her eyes seemed to be turning red. "Wh-what are you saying, Saiki-kun? Are…do you…?"
"Do you have any idea what will happen if you walk out my front door like this?" Kusuo nodded meaningfully as both his hands were still occupied with holding the door closed. Teruhashi, for her part, did look genuinely confused as she tilted her head at his response, but he could still read sadness all over her. If she left like that, she wouldn't even need her Angel Tears™ to end him, all she had to do was offer up some half-hearted excuse to his mother on her way out, and Kusuo was a dead man.
The moment shattered, and Teruhashi blinked. "Huh?"
"My mom will kill me, Teruhashi-san. I'm not even exaggerating." Well, he was, but only a little.
The confusion on Teruhashi's face slowly morphed to disbelief as she turned around and put her back to the door. "Why would your mom kill you if I leave?"
Is this girl for real? No, she had to be doing that 'Perfect Pretty Girl' routine she always did where she pretended she didn't know how much everyone she met thought of her. That same uncomfortable ache from that time in the abandoned lot with Kaidoh and the others returned with a vengeance, clenching his heart in tandem with his clenching fists. He scowled down at her.
"Don't pretend you don't know how much my mom likes you. If she thinks you ran out of here because I treated you badly, I'll never hear the end of it."
Teruhashi's jaw dropped, and Kusuo suppressed a flinch. Was that too blunt? Would he have to deal with her hysterical crying now? Accusatory screams?
Yare, yare. How did he keep getting himself into these messes?
A soft giggle cut through Kusuo's anxious thoughts, startling him. He looked down in disbelief as Teruhashi put a fist to her lips to stifle even more giggles.
"Are you telling me, Saiki Kunio—"
That's not my damn name!
"—that you, former psychic extraordinaire, are afraid of your mother?" More giggles. "Seriously?"
Kusuo scowled and tried to pretend he couldn't feel the heat rising on his cheeks. "You're laughing now, but you've never seen my mother angry. She's terrifying."
"Hah!" Giving up all attempts to stifle it, Teruhashi dropped their poster and doubled over with laughter until she was clutching her stomach with tears in her eyes. "Oh; oh, it hurts!"
Calming herself back to giggles, Teruhashi wiped away her tears of mirth and grinned up at him. "Oh, Saiki-kun, only you would make such a bold declaration as 'you can't go' and mean absolutely nothing by it."
Kusuo frowned. Should he be offended by that? Because he felt like he should be offended.
"I meant something by it," he said with far more resolution than he actually felt. Honestly, he was extremely confused; why had she started laughing? Did he say something funny? He certainly didn't find it funny; the threat of impending doom was nothing to laugh at.
Teruhashi giggled again and patted his cheek twice in a way that made him feel younger than Yuuta. "Of course, you did, Saiki-kun."
Kusuo's frown deepened to a scowl. "I'm not a child, Teruhashi-san."
A sharp, fiery gleam appeared in Teruhashi's eye that Kusuo would call wicked, except God's perfect angel would obviously be incapable of such a thing.
"No," she said, looking him square in the eye. "You're definitely not a child."
Patting his cheek again, Teruhashi ducked around him and picked up their poster on her way back to the table. Kusuo stared at the door, bewildered. What?
He pushed away from the door and turned around. Teruhashi had her sketchbook out again and was working on their costumes for Yuuta's party as she hummed that song she always sang for their class karaoke parties at the end of every second year. She was smiling.
I'll never understand girls.
