Part Three


Chapter Twenty-Five

Teruhashi's brother is a perverted freak, but I have to admit, his people know what they're doing. The stage they've set up is in a cavernous amphitheater with stadium seating, and the set makes use of every inch of the enormous stage. From one end to the other spans a city street populated with streetlights and signs, cultivated bushes and trees, even a raised garden box filled with flowers set outside a street café that looks remarkably like Café Mami.

The stage is empty for now, not unexpected considering we're the only people in our seats right now. Prime seats, too, right at the center front. Which means I have the perfect vantage point to stare at Teruhashi's brother for a good half-hour.

(As I'm sure you can tell by the tone of my writing, I'm very excited.)

Still, Yuuta is excited, and even Teruhashi is looking forward to what's coming, so I guess I can't complain too much. Besides, once this is over, we can head to Café Aomori for that kakigori Teruhashi promised me. And no, I don't have the café flyer in my pocket, and I don't keep checking it every few minutes as a reminder of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Yare, yare.

Ah, more people are filtering in. And now the flood gates have opened. Someone is sitting to my right—Teruhashi is to my left with Yuuta in the seat between us—and there's something familiar about him. I try my best to be unobtrusive as I glance right from the corners of my eye. My brow furrows.

Matsuzaki-sensei?

What Madness is This

"Oh! Hey, Saiki. Teruhashi-san." Matsuzaki looked surprised as he raised a hand to Kusuo. "Never expected to run into you here."

Kusuo offered a polite nod as bowing while seated was awkward. "Matsuzaki-sensei." His brow furrowed as he couldn't think of a single reason why P.K. Academy's gym teacher was sitting in the front row of a children's show at an amusement park in Osaka.

"Are you a Cyborg Sentai fan?" Kusuo couldn't bring himself to ask specifically about Cyborg Yakult and especially not Mogami Toru, though either of those were more likely.

"Oh no, not me." Matsuzaki leaned back to reveal a pair of girls about Yuuta's age. They were almost identical, each sporting the same green-black hair, brown eyes, soft features, wide grin, except the girl on the left had a short, page-boy style hair cut while the other had her much longer hair in twin braids.

"These girls are my nieces," Matsuzaki said, pointing to the short haired girl first. "Reiko and Yuuko."

"Hello!" The girls spoke in tandem.

Creepy.

"I volunteered to bring them to the show so their parents could enjoy the rides together instead of taking turns."

"I see." Kusuo hadn't known Matsuzaki had any siblings, never mind nieces or nephews, but then, it's not like he'd made a habit of digging up personal facts regarding his teacher's home lives back when he still had telepathy.

"Hi!" Yuuta popped up from his chair, hanging from Kusuo's shoulders with a bright grin. "I'm Yuuta! Do you guys like Cyborg Yakult too?"

"Yeah!" Reiko said, jumping up on her seat so she could lean around Matsuzaki. "But Cyborg Ramune is way cooler."

"I like Strawberry Milk Girl!"

"They're both super cool," Yuuta said, nodding sagely. "But Cyborg Cider-man #2 and Peach-T Girl are the coolest ever."

Yuuta looked around quickly before leaning in closer and putting one hand to his mouth before whispering loudly. "You may not know cause they don't have their uniforms, but this is Cyborg Cider-man #2," Yuuta patted Kusuo's pink hair before motioning toward Teruhashi, "and Peach-T Girl."

Shock and awe sprung up on the twins' faces.

"Really?" Yuuko asked, almost starry-eyed. She went up on her knees to lean over Matsuzaki's lap, her twin braids falling over her shoulders, and squinted at Kusuo with a scrutinizing stare. Then her eyes widened, and she gasped. "Oh wow! It really is Cyborg Cider-man #2!"

"Shhh!" Yuuta said, pressing his finger to his lips. He looked around quickly—something Kusuo did as well because he really didn't want to deal with another mob of kids asking for his autograph—but fortunately, there was enough buzz of conversation to stop too many people from hearing Yuuko's shout.

Yuuko slapped her hands over her mouth and sent Yuuta a wide-eyed, muffled apology. "Sorry!"

"Yuu-chan," Teruhashi said, half rising to drop a hand on Yuuta's head with a scolding frown. "Don't be rude."

Reiko and Yuuko looked at Teruhashi in surprise before giggling to themselves. Reiko leaned over Matsuzaki's shoulder to whisper loudly to her twin.

"She sounds just like—"

"I know! It's so funny! Do you think—?"

"Well, why are we here if not—"

"We probably shouldn't—"

"Girls," Matsuzaki said, rubbing his temples with both hands. "Please, stop talking over me."

"Sorry!" they said in tandem, still talking over him from shoulder and lap. Matsuzaki sighed.

The amphitheater was almost filled now; the flood of people that had pushed and jostled their way to the best seats as they filled the chairs from front to back, inside to outside had slowed to barely a trickle. Kusuo was torn between sighing in relief that the main torture of this trip was almost over and groaning in disgust because the main torture of this trip was about to begin.

A warm, dainty hand fell over Kusuo's clenched fist, and he started, his head snapping left to stare at Teruhashi, who smiled up at him with a mixture of sympathy and amusement. "Only twenty-five minutes to go, Kusuo-kun."

His heart didn't flutter in his chest; it flipped. And his palms turned clammy. And a pit opened in his stomach. And his muscled turned hot and weak. And his head almost hurt but not quite.

And what the hell? Why was this happening?

What is this?

Whatever it was, Teruhashi didn't seem to feel it because she just patted his hand twice and pulled back. Kusuo had the most absurd urge to grab her hand and hold it, but he just clenched his fist tighter and coaxed Yuuta back into his seat between them. The boy protested; he'd been enjoying an inane conversation about the Cyborg Sentai with the twins.

"Yuu-chan, shush. The show is about to start."

Yare, yare. Kusuo sighed. The sooner it begins, the sooner it's over.

"A quiet day in Tokyo," said a narrator with an over-dramatic voice. People began milling about the stage as lights all around the amphitheater dimmed leaving only the stage lights. The audience quieted slowly barring the occasional excited outburst of a child (Yuuta not excluded). "Calm. Peaceful. Effervescent."

Effervescent? They do know this was a show for kids, right? Also, effervescent is practically the exact opposite of 'calm' and 'peaceful.' Morons.

"But what's this? A strange commotion in a downtown café! What could it possibly be?"

The door to Café Pseudo-Mami slammed open, and a girl with bright pink hair tied up in two, curly buns on either side of her head burst out. Her dress was pale blue at the top but faded to pink near the bottom and the whole thing had puffs of what looked like clouds sewn on at random. The flared skirt stopped well above her knees, but she had on a pair of pink tights that matched perfectly with the pink in her dress and a pair of tiny blue shoes with ribbons that laced almost to her knees topped with more puffy cloud on the toes.

She also had on a pair of bicep length gloves that faded from white to pink from the wrist down to her fingers. Her face was barely hidden behind a blue domino mask and her lavender eyes glimmered with glee as she raced into the street hauling a giant pink bag labeled "sugar" slung over her shoulder. Though considering its size, mass, and bulk, it was probably stuffed with cotton.

"What a haul!" the girl cackled wildly, and Kusuo had to give her props. She was very happily in character. "Yet another store's sugar supply is all mine! It won't be long now until I own every single grain of sugar in the entire city!"

People around the girl scattered with screams of varying degrees of believable terror. One woman pointed mid-scream, one hand pressed to her cheek. "Oh no! It's Fairy Floss! Run everyone, run! She'll spin us all into cotton candy!"

"Too late!" Fairy Floss drew a long pink wand from what looked like a holster at her waist and twirled it like a ribbon dancer before pointing at the woman who had turned to run. "Ha hah! Taste my sweetness!"

The woman vanished, leaving a pile of pink cotton in her place.

Well, Kusuo thought, eyeing the cotton. At least the effects are decent.

He had, admittedly, seen the trap door open beneath the woman and a stagehand toss out the cotton from one of the fake building's windows, but he doubted too many others had. And if Yuuta was any indication, none of the kids in the audience had a clue.

Why Fairy Floss, though? She was one of Cyborg Ramune's main villains, not Cyborg Yakult. In fact, Kusuo was hard-pressed to remember any specific villain that was sworn-enemies with Yakult. Thinking on it now, Kusuo would swear before a firing squad that there wasn't one.

Why waste the Mogami Toru on such an obscure Tantei member as Cyborg Yakult anyway? That drink isn't even aimed at kids!

And yeah, sure, Kusuo found it fitting that Makoto ended up casted as basically a nobody, but that seemed pretty unexpected for someone wielding his level of star power.

Ah, Kusuo realized after taking a good, hard look around the audience. They're all aunties.

He sighed. This show may be aimed at kids, but it was targeting all the middle-aged housewives out there like his mother who were too gullible to see beyond the Perv's 'perfect face.'

Fairy Floss went on a rampage across the stage turning everyone in wand-range into piles of pink or blue cotton. At his side, Yuuta was curled up into a ball, his little hands fisted, as he glared at the stage.

"It will be all right, Cyborg Cider-man #2! Cyborg Yakult will stop her and turn everyone back to normal!" Yuuta flashed Kusuo a wide grin accompanied by a peace sign. "That's a promise!"

I really wasn't worried.

"What madness is this!" Makoto's irritating voice echoed through the entire room, though he was still hidden from view. "A fiend on the loose in my city? Not while I'm around!"

A spotlight snapped on, illuminating Makoto, who stood atop one of the truncated buildings dressed in a one-piece white power suit with red accents, red boots and gloves, and a gleaming red helmet with a dark visor. Like most of the other Cyborg Tantei, he also wore a neckerchief, but his was light blue instead of the usual orange-red.

"I am the Cyborg Soldier of strength and wisdom!" Makoto announced, whipping his arms up and around in a series of poses. "Cyborg Yakult!" He paused with his left hand propped on his hip and his right forming a V over his eyes. "And in the name of Health, I will punish you!"

Yare, yare, Kusuo glared up at Makoto as a bead of sweat ran from his pink hair to the line of his jaw. How stupid can one person be?

"It's Cyborg Yakult!" The cheer started on stage but was quickly taken up by the crowd, and it was obvious Makoto was lapping it up like the dog he was.

"Hahahahaha!" Makoto leaped from atop the building (his fly-wires were decently hidden), flipped once in midair, and landed sure-footed in the middle of the street to strike another pose. This one the bastardized form of a fighting stance that left his core wide open and compromised his balance. No one in the crowd seemed to care one jot. Yuuta least of all.

"Cyborg Yakult! It's Cyborg Yakult! Look Cyborg Cider-man #2, it's Cyborg Yakult!"

Yare, yare. Kusuo pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ward off the headache mounting as hundreds of children and middle-aged women screamed their support for the idiot on stage.

"Hah!" Fairy Floss exclaimed. "Cyborg Yakult, is it? You dare attempt to take me on alone without the rest of the Cyborg Sentai as back up? How foolish you are!" She flung her wand in Makoto's direction and shouted, "Take this! My ultimate attack: Spun Sugar!"

Threads of what looked like silly string launched from the end of her wand, but Makoto dodged left and right to avoid being touched. Fairy Floss fell back with a look of shock. "Impossible! How could you evade my attack so easily?"

"You forget!" Makoto flung out a hand at her in what was probably meant to be a power pose and grinned so widely the overhead lights glinted off his perfect teeth. "Yakult is designed to boost one's energy and detox the body! Of all the Cyborg Sentai, I am by far the most healthy and fit! You don't stand a chance against my powers of fitness!"

Is this seriously turning into a Yakult commercial for old geezers?

"No!" Fairy Floss fell back, her expression twisted with rage. "I'll never allow myself to be defeated!" She cast her eyes around until they fell on Yuuta, sitting excitedly on the edge of his seat, and her face lit up. "Haha! A hostage!"

It took everything Kusuo had to keep his hands clenched around the arms of his chair as Fairy Floss flung her wand in Yuuta's direction and crowed, "Seize him!"

Right on cue, a pair of grunts in one-piece power suits—one pink and the other blue—raced from the shadows to snatch Yuuta right out of his chair. Kusuo had known this would happen, Teruhashi had coached him at length and insisted that everything would be perfectly fine. Yuuta would be perfectly fine. The only reason Kusuo agreed was because of his proximity to the stage. He didn't trust Makoto to protect Yuuta from UV rays, never mind bad guys. Even fake ones.

If this got out of hand or if Yuuta looked legitimately scared, Cyborg Cider-man #2 was going to make an unexpected appearance on stage.

"Ahh!" Yuuta flailed in the arms of his 'captors.' "Let me go you fiends! Let me go right now!"

"You wicked trickster!" Makoto exclaimed, falling back dramatically with his fisted hand held over his head. "How dare you drag an innocent child into our battle?"

Fairy Floss put the backs of her fingers against the side of her mouth and laughed. "Ohohohohoho! You call me wicked, Cyborg Yakult, but don't you know?" She grinned menacingly. "Children hate Yaku—"

A crack echoed through the cavernous theater, making even Kusuo jump at the unexpected sound. Had something fallen backstage? Had a company vehicle backfired outside?

Up on stage, Fairy Floss stumbled backward two steps, her eyes wide in shock as she clutched her stomach. Dark red liquid stained her blue and pink dress a dark purple as it dripped to the ground in a steadily increasing puddle.

"Wh-what…?" Fairy Floss stared glassy eyed at nothing as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. "W-why…?"

Another crack, and this time Fairy Floss jerked backward. Blood exploded from her forehead in a beaded arch as she fell backward in what seemed to be slow motion. In fact, everything had slowed down in the achingly long seconds it took from when the shot connected to Fairy Floss slamming hard against the ground in a graceless sprawl, her lavender eyes still wide in death.

Silence. Pure, oppressive silence.

"H-hey." Makoto took a step toward the fallen girl, his rigid, heroic posture softened by shock and confusion. "What's going on? Why are you playing d—?"

Another crack. Makoto let out a truncated squawk as blood sprayed from his back, and he, too, fell to the stage. He landed on his face, one arm stretched over his head and the other curled at his side.

"I found you." The voice was soft. Feminine. Young.

A girl of no more than fourteen stepped out of the shadows, a smoking pistol held in each hand. Her hair was long and dark, like liquid charcoal, and she had on what looked like a lavender junior high uniform paired with high black boots with a lavender diamond pattern running up the outside of each leg. Her eyes were the color of amethysts, but they held no life as she strode regally across the stage accompanied by a rippling wind that had to be artificial because the was no wind moving in the amphitheater. No one was even breathing.

"At long last, I've finally found you." The girl's dead eyes focused unblinkingly on Yuuta, who was trembling minutely in Blue Minion's arms. She smiled. "Madoka."