I hope you all enjoy the fic. I am not an English speaker, so please be patient with me. If you wish to help me, please send me a message. I will be grateful for your help.
HarryPGinnyW4eva: You soon will see lol
Emers2021: Lol yep
Chapter 15: Sacrifice
Hermione Granger sat on her bed, illuminated by the soft glow of her wand as it cast a gentle Lumos spell across her small bedroom. She stared down at the blurry parchment before her with furrowed brows and determined concentration; the contents of Nagini's venomous bite life-saving potion were written there. As she read further, a critical piece of information caught her eye. To create the powerful charm and potion required for the antidote, Severus would have to sacrifice his happiest memories. The knowledge sent a shiver down her spine; what kind of magic could demand such a heart-wrenching cost?
She read it again softly to herself: "'Happiest Memories. So that's how Mr. Weasley survived? But he wouldn't lose much; he could always create new memories." Sighing and looking up at the ceiling, her mind ran wild with thousands of questions.
Perhaps Snape didn't really need a wife, but a way to create new, happy memories to sacrifice and keep living? If he was so grouchy about being alive, why was he giving up on the only precious thing for him?
Hermione sighed again and fell onto her comfortable pillows to think it over.
Was he slowly forgetting Lily, somehow? Was he succumbing to his worst version of himself because of it? Was he getting weaker and weaker, refusing to let one final memory go?
She placed the worn parchment away and decided to pick up his "vows" next and read them. It was filled with wedding promises in the form of a poem or an antique song, judging by the rhymes.
"To my wife, I have promises to keep and a life to give."
Why had they even gotten married when she had never said anything like that about him? She wondered if it even mattered. Were they just destined to be together, no matter if no one said a word?
For a moment, she wondered what Ron and she had in common, and the only thing she could think of was their bravery to confront things.
"Well, if he wants to keep living, he should stop treating you badly and start making happy memories with you." It sounded strange in so many ways.
She closed her eyes slowly and listened to the night, wondering if she would hear any bubbling from his potion-making or if he was asleep. It was already past midnight, and she couldn't sleep, thinking about everything. As exhaustion began to claim her, Hermione allowed her eyelids to fall shut. In that quiet corner of her bedroom, she found solace as she drifted off to sleep, enveloped by thoughts of her past and present.
XXX
Hermione jolted awake to the smell of freshly cooked bacon, then remembered that she was no longer living alone and that it was likely Snape cooking breakfast. Taking her wand out from under her pillow, she Transfigured her pajamas into a pair of jeans and a black shirt. Yawning, she decided to take one day at a time; whatever Snape threw at her, she would make the best of it.
Brushing her teeth, she couldn't help but keep wondering about the happy memories Snape had to sacrifice, so she couldn't stop thinking of ways to ask Snape about it without letting him know that she knew about it.
"Good morning," she said without looking at what he was doing. She opened her fridge and examined its contents. For some reason, even deciding what to eat for breakfast seemed like a life-changing decision.
"Sit down and eat," she heard Snape say and almost hit her head on one of the fridge shelves.
"Wait... what?" she mumbled as Snape turned his attention from the eggs and bacon sizzling in the stove to look at her.
"I'm already cooking." he said raising an eyebrow "unless you prefer something else, Miss Granger, of course."
"Oh, thank you," she wanted to ask why, but it seemed the best thing to say at the moment.
She glanced at what he was doing and how meticulous he was; eggshells were neatly stacked, and onions and peppers were neatly cut on the cutting board. It was like watching him cut ingredients to brew potions, as if he were back at Hogwarts. His hair was tied into a ponytail, and for some unknown reason to her, Severus Snape seemed right in his comfort zone and seemingly content with the task.
"Stop staring and grab a plate," he said. Not realizing she had been gawking at him, she quickly recovered and took a plate from one of her kitchen counters.
"So, I assume now you know where everything is in the kitchen, right?"
"A simple Accio will give me what I need."
"Oh... right, Accio."
Serving omelets and bacon on both plates made Hermione wonder if he expected some sort of compliment after working so hard on them. Taking a piece and biting into it, she was surprised by how different the taste was from her own cooking.
"It tastes really good!" She couldn't help but exclaim and the man smiled sarcastically, looking at his own plate.
"I don't know why you're so surprised, Granger. It's not that hard."
"However, each person has different ways of seasoning when cooking."
"Then there's much still to learn for you, Granger."
Hermione decided to follow her own advice of avoiding confrontation and continued eating, before their owls flew over their heads from her living room window, dropping their mail next to their plates.
Reading the newspaper seemed useless as all she could see was the Marriage Law and its consequences.
"At least we aren't on the first page anymore," she joked, but Snape didn't reply or even look at her, focusing on his breakfast.
Hermione read the articles carefully and the list of candidates, and only a few were announced to be getting married.
"I can't believe that Dolohov and the Carrows are on this stupid list, yet there isn't still an announced trial date for them... or you." She frowned, munching on her breakfast with disgust at seeing Snape's name on the same page as these despicable wizards.
"They are Death Eaters like me, so I suppose that the Ministry must think they deserve a second chance like I do, or..." Snape raised his head from the black curtains of his greasy hair and threw a glance at the newspaper. "What one of the readers said could mean the end of Azkaban as a prison. In the end, Potter wasn't content with the Dementors and the influence the Dark Lord had over them."
"They cannot be free just like that! They killed hundreds, if not thousands, of people, including Muggles. What reassures us that they will not kill again?"
"Nothing," Snape shrugged and looked back at his plate and the pile of letters, much more than usual, he had next to his meal. "Just like me."
"You are not like that! Stop comparing yourself to them!"
"What makes me different, Granger?"
"How many have you killed? One or maybe two?"
"Every life matters, no matter the quantity."
Snape sighed and decided to take a look at his mail, finding a few Howlers and trepidatiously opening them, to hear a blast of multiple voices shouting at him for marrying Hermione. She thought that there was one from the Weasleys in the bunch.
We should just let them explode!" Hermione shouted over the voices, at Snape, who had thrown them to the ground and was trying to stomp them to stop the screams.
"Filthy monster! You don't deserve her!" The last Howler said before everything went silent again. Snape seemed to pant with the effort, which made her remember the potion to counteract Nagini's venom.
"Professor... can I ask you a question?" Snape glared at her as he got back to his seat in the kitchen, as far away from her as he could, and sneered in response.
"Whatever," he responded, looking back at his meal as if it were about to yell at him too.
"Do you remember Lily Evans and the time you spent together?"
He was taken aback by her question, placing his fork back on the table and looking at her with his black eyes that caused so many sensations in her body that she couldn't decipher every time he looked at her.
"Why do you ask, Granger? You saw my memories already, that's for sure, so why I should answer your questions?"
"I didn't," she admitted, looking down at her pile of letters, shaking her head. "Harry told us, but he never shared the actual memories in the Pensieve with us."
"Why are you so suddenly interested in my past and memories?"
"I just wonder if you still think of her. That's all."
"Are you jealous of a dead woman?"
"Of course not! I just wonder... since your Patronus..."
What is wrong with you, Miss Granger?" Asked Snape. She bit her lips.
"Could you please show me your Patronus?"
"I don't have anything to show you!"
Hermione looked up at Snape and saw the fire building in his eyes as she questioned him.
"Professor, I..."
"Just shut up and keep eating, Granger! My memories and my past have nothing more to do with you of what you have already seen! That's enough!"
Hermione simply nodded, looking down at her plate, taking her own pile of letters, trying to focus on something else and hide that her hands were trembling, unable to tell if it was with fury or nervousness.
I just wanted to help, that's all," she mumbled, but loud enough for Snape to hear.
"I need no help, Miss Granger," said Snape, finishing his breakfast and pointing his wand at the plate, levitating it to the kitchen sink. "And you never understood that. Not everybody wants or can be helped."
