Part Four
Chapter Forty-One
You have got to be kidding me.
Even the Bad Ones
Kusuo left Kokomi confused and gaping as she called after him with only a half-hearted: "I'll be back," offered in response. He beelined it for Yamato because there was no way in hell he could do this without her.
Voices filtered through the shoji screen well before Kusuo could make out the words being said, a conversation that grew ever sharper the closer he came.
"Look, I get that you're torn, okay? But we've talked this to literal death, so just make a damn decision and—"
"But I can't," Aiura voice held a desperate, begging whine. "I can't decide on my own! So just, like, tell me, okay? I'm giving you permission—"
Yamato let out a long-suffering sigh. "Fine, okay? Fine. Just…go talk to Saiki Kusuke."
"Eh? But, like, why would I—?"
"Things will just…they'll make more sense that way, okay? And that's all I'm saying!"
"But I just—"
"I said that's it!"
"Okay, okay! Geez. Take, like, a chill pill, or something."
"And go out the back door, will you?" Yamato demanded. "I have another appointment waiting in the hall."
Aiura grudgingly complied with the sound of the outside shoji sliding open and shut before Yamato threw open the hallway door. "What?"
Kusuo glowered. "Don't play dumb, Yamato. You know damn well why I'm here."
Yamato scoffed, unintimidated, and tapped her temple. "In case you forgot, used-to-be-so-powerful Former Psychic-san, but I don't have telepathy; that's Natsu's schtick."
Kusuo powered Yamato into the room with his sheer presence, simply stepping forward until she had no choice but to back away. She played it off like it was her idea that he suddenly invaded her space with an absent wave and a disinterested, "Won't you come in?"
He didn't wait to sit, or even for her to sit. She was barely to her table cushion when he said, "Kokomi is pregnant."
"And?"
Kusuo bristled. "What do you mean 'and'?"
"I mean exactly what I said." Yamato sank onto her cushion with a careless air and shrugged. "I would hardly call the two of you rabbits, but it's been at least…what? Four times by now?" She eyed him blandly, shifting her lollipop to the other side of her mouth. "You do know how babies are made?"
"How the fu—"
Yamato tapped her temple again. "I may not be telepathic, but I am clairvoyant. I see the most likely future for anyone withing a 200m radius—why do you think I spend so much time here in the middle of nowhere?—and while the door seals do help, they're not as…definitive with my powers as they are with Natsu's."
Kusuo crossed his arms to tamp down a shiver. He'd never felt so…violated before. "So, you're saying you knew? About Kokomi. You knew she would get pregnant."
"I certainly knew it was a very high possibility."
"…and you didn't say anything?"
"What exactly would you expect me to say? Do you want congratulations or something?" Yamato clapped with over-dramatic cheer. "You're going to be a father, Saiki! Mazel tov!"
"You bitch—"
Yamato tch'd with dismissive flick of her wrist, back to her usual low-energy sarcasm. "Play me a song I haven't heard before. But before you do, you might want to say what you came to say before I lose what's left of my patience."
"Tell her she can't come tomorrow."
"No."
Kusuo faltered, genuinely shocked. "What do you mean 'no'?"
"I mean exactly what I said. If your girl wants to go, who am I to stop her?"
"She'll be killed! Or her…our…the…"
"Babies?"
Kusuo shuddered. I have babies…
And wouldn't it just figure there would be two of them? And no doubt they'll be as beautiful as their mother…
God really does hate me.
"That is a possibility," Yamato said, and it took a mental scramble for Kusuo to remember what she was responding to.
"Which one?" Kusuo demanded, unsure which outcome he feared more. "Kokomi or the…the…"
Damn it, he couldn't even say the word! How was he supposed to raise them?
Yamato shrugged. "Does it matter? If the babies die, Teruhashi will wish she was dead, and if Teruhashi dies, the babies go by default."
Acid burned up Kusuo's throat so fast, he barely managed to slap a hand to his mouth and force it back down.
"You…you've seen…"
Yamato shrugged again. "I see all the most likely futures, Saiki. Even the bad ones."
Kusuo stumbled back half-a-step, his hand groping for the wall. Yamato sighed and went up on her knees to snag the hem of his shirt. She dragged him toward the table saying, "Sit down before you fall down."
Kusuo sank onto the table cushion opposite Yamato's. His mind was a whirl of terrified colors as he tried to think of something, anything, that would make what she said make sense.
"When you said you see all futures—"
"All the most likely futures," Yamato corrected. "Usually about a hundred or so. To see anything more than that, I have to actively try."
A hundred passively viewed futures, and among all of them… "How many?"
"Does it matter—?"
"Yes!" Kusuo slammed his fist on the table. "It fucking matters!"
Yamato sighed and pressed her fingers to her paper-pale forehead. She really did look terrible; gaunt and drawn like old hide pulled too tight and thin over a too large frame. A small part of him—the Chiyo part—felt sorry for her obvious mental and physical distress, but the larger part viciously reminded his Chiyo-self that the bitch had brought it on herself; literally. She had every option to stop draining her spirit energy for whatever reason she'd decided to do so. It wasn't his fault she kept at it until it made her sick.
"Say I tell you," Yamato demanded. "Then what?"
"Then I'll tell Kokomi, and she won't come—"
"Oh, please." Yamato slapped a palm to the tabletop with an irritated frown. "Have you met your girl? Can you seriously tell me you'll find that exact right thing she needs to hear to actually listen to you and stay safe in the compound like a good little," Yamato sneered, "Yamato Nadeshiko?"
She was mocking him, but Kusuo's heart leaped as his mind latched onto a very precious truth Yamato had let slip. "You know how I can make her stay."
Yamato blinked, surprised, then flushed with self-anger. She looked away, her sneer shifting to a self-recriminating scowl. "I don't know what you mean—"
"You've seen it." Kusuo pressed his palm hard against the tabletop and leaned forward. "Which means there is at least a one in a hundred chance that I can convince her."
Yamato stayed stubbornly silent.
"Tell me." Kusuo hissed. "Tell me what it is!"
Yamato refused to look at him; her scowling eyes focused unblinkingly on the table as she sat demurely with her hands in her lap. When she spoke, her voice was barely audible.
"Do you support rape, Saiki-san?"
Kusuo jerked back, slapped not only by her unexpected question but also by her unexpected deference. Had she ever, even once since they met, spoken to him with so much respect?
"Of course not," Kusuo finally managed, realizing that the longer he stayed silent, the more likely it would seem that his answer was 'yes'. "How could I after what happened—"
He bit his tongue for two reasons: first, Kokomi's nightmare wasn't Kusuo's story to tell, and second, he'd hated rape long before he ever believed Kokomi, of all people, could fall victim to it.
In fact, Kusuo had created a passive mental suggestion—not quite mind-control, but close enough to make a difference—that he projected within his 200m telepathy radius that severely deterred any would-be rapists from acting. And on the (very) rare occasions that his suggestion didn't work, he would be there to stop the perp in a literal eyeblink. He also made sure to wipe the victim's memory of the event so it wouldn't scar them moving forward.
"Rape is probably the most deplorable thing one creature could do to another," Yamato said, her voice still low and her eyes still diverted. "It's complete domination of another person; forcing them to accept your choices, your wishes, you're consequences. It is a complete disavowal of individual agency, and that sort of heavy-handed violation can never go without repercussions. Often violent ones."
"Okay?" Kusuo couldn't get mad at her bizarre segue; she was too quietly earnest in her telling.
"Changing the future is a lot like rape, Saiki-san."
Kusuo could see Yamato's arm muscles tighten and knew she was clenching her fists below the table line.
"It may not be as graphic as rape, but it leaves just as many scars. These ones are just invisible to most."
And Kusuo knew then, with horrifying clarity, one of the reasons—perhaps the main reason—why she acted the way she did.
She's been raped.
Maybe not literally—knowing her family, that seemed extremely unlikely—but if she could see the future, then it would be a damned miracle if she'd never witnessed a rape at least once. And depending on how her clairvoyance worked, it was entirely possible that she saw the events unfold from the victim's point of view.
Or the perpetrator's.
Kusuo stared, gobsmacked.
How is she not absolutely terrified of men?
"I'm sure you understand, Saiki-san." Yamato lifted her eyes for only a second, just enough to meet Kusuo's with quiet intensity. And just like that, Kusuo realized she knew what he'd done for the women within his telepathic influence. And not only that, she respected him for it.
And that's why she hates me so much now…
He'd gotten rid of his powers, which means the suggestion—and of course his physical interference—were now gone. Without his quiet insistence that all women were to be respected, how many women in their ward had fallen victim to such horrific abuse?
"Oh God…" Kusuo's hand slapped back to his mouth. He'd kept that mental suggestion up for so long in his town that it had basically become mind control, but their Tokyo ward wasn't the only place he'd used it. Every time he traveled anywhere, he kept his mental projection in place, and after that incident during their first second-year Okinawa trip, Kusuo had strengthened it.
But without his powers, the suggestion was gone. Which meant there was nothing stopping a stranger on a train from seeing Kokomi's blinding beauty, and rather than think her an angel—because that was me too, wasn't it?—a sick bastard like that wouldn't think twice…wouldn't hesitate…
"…It's my fault." Kusuo stared at his hands in horror. "I'm the reason Kokomi was…why she was almost…"
Revolution swept over Kusuo at another realization, and he glared at Yamato over the hand still clasped to his mouth. "You knew what would happen to her."
"…I knew it was possible."
"But you didn't say anything." His hand clenched, and he had to bite down on his knuckle to stop from reaching over the table to throttle her.
"You think I didn't want to?" Yamato wasn't yelling, but Kusuo wished she would because anger he could handle, the raw pain in her voice, however, was enough to make even his stony heart clench.
"Then why don't you?"
"Because it would change the future." Yamato shuddered. "I've done it before, you know. Stopped a rape. I thought I did such an amazing thing, but the kid who wasn't born would have grown up to be a scientist who found the cure for a horrific disease that will appear fifteen years from now. Do you know how many people will die from that disease because he won't be there to stop it early?"
"But…" Kusuo faltered, unsure what he could even say to that.
"I know what you're thinking," she said. "Why don't I stop the ones that won't end with babies? Why not stop the ones that end in abortion or with no fetus at all? But what if I did? What if I stopped a rape and the woman who wasn't hurt can't use her pain and warrior's pride to create a foundation for abused women that will save hundreds of thousands of lives? What if a woman who was supposed to be raped doesn't need an abortion and so doesn't become an abortion advocate? Or another woman doesn't rise up to become a pro-life leader?"
That surprised him. "Those two choices are completely different. Why would you want them both?"
"Because it's not my choice to make!" Yamato's usual fire sparked hot before fizzing out. Her shoulders slumped, and she looked back down. "Should I make it so that only pro-choice women get to choose what happens to their bodies? Or so only pro-life women have a say in what happens to unborn babies?"
She shook her head with such understanding that Kusuo finally realized how amazingly infinite she was. Maybe not now, but someday, this girl would command centuries worth of empathy.
"I may be divine, Saiki-san," Yamato didn't quite mutter as she spoke, but Kusuo still strained to hear her, "but I'm not God. Whether it's a stranger's future or yours or Teruhashi's, I have no right to meddle in your decisions."
Kusuo felt oddly touched by her declaration, and yet, he also felt annoyed. It was one thing to refuse to step in unasked for, but Kusuo was asking for her interference. Surely, that had to count for something.
"Aiura," Kusuo said, almost startling himself. Yamato glanced up, confused.
"What about her?"
"You told her to go visit Kusuke."
"And?"
"And that wasn't something you said on a whim. You told her to talk to him because of something you saw in her future."
Yamato's expression hardened. "Yes, I did. Because she asked me to. And even then, I only pointed her in the right direction."
"Then point me." Kusuo sounded desperate, even to himself. "It doesn't have to be everything, just something."
"It's not your future you're asking me about, Saiki." Yamato's deference shifted to annoyance. "It's Teruhashi's."
"But it's mine too. And Kokomi…I can't…" He couldn't finish. Even with his inner-Chiyo egging him on, it was just too personal an admission.
"Then talk to her." Yamato levered herself off the floor, and Kusuo knew their conversation was over. "If you really do love her, you'll respect her enough to tell her the truth. Maybe then you'll find what it is you need to say to make her stay."
It wasn't much, but Kusuo recognized a nudge when he heard it. Straitening into seiza, Kusuo placed his palms flat on his knees and bowed respectfully. "Thank you, Yamato-san. And I'm sorry."
"Oh?"
He nodded, still bowing. "I shouldn't have tried to force you." He paused a moment before giving in to his inner-Chiyo; just this once. "I shouldn't have given up my powers."
She sighed deeply. "It's not your fault, Saiki. One has to experience a future before they can prevent it."
Kusuo's brow furrowed, and he frowned up at her. What is that supposed to mean?
"Now, if you don't mind, I need a nap. Emoting is exhausting."
Kusuo couldn't agree more; he wouldn't mind a nap himself. But first things first.
I need to talk to Kokomi.
Kusuo stood but hesitated to leave. Yamato must have sensed his question, because she rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Just spit it out."
"…Those women I saved," Kusuo asked, unsure how exactly to phrase his question. "Their futures…"
Yamato shook her head, an empathetic smile on her lips. "You didn't change any of their futures, Saiki-san."
Kusuo quirked an eyebrow.
"From the moment anyone—man-woman-child, doesn't matter—stepped into your territory, rape was not even the remotest future possibility."
Kusuo nodded his understanding—pride, pleasure, and a little self-hatred bubbled up inside of him—before silently taking his leave.
Kaliea: I've been sick for a week, so I've had some time to work on this story. With a little bit of buffer, I hope to get back to more regular updates, but in the meantime, have another chapter for your troubles :P Admittedly, it's not a particularly happy chapter, but we're getting to that act four calm before the storm. I also got a chance to insert some of the backstory/exposition I've been holding onto since chapter one-ish, some of which I am extremely proud. It's not easy writing fanfiction, and writing crossover fanfiction with so much conflicting lore is that much harder, so when I'm able to puzzle stuff together in ways that work, I like to give myself a mental tally on my "one more skill to translate over to my original fiction" card.
I hope y'all have a great week!
