"Call for a taxi?" I said in hopes of getting a laugh out of Damon as I pulled up in his car.

He smiled and my heart melted for a second. I quickly got out of the car and helped him into the car.

I got into the driver's seat and I pulled off. It made me feel uneasy, driving his car.

"Seatbelt." Damon said as he moaned in pain.

"Sorry." I put on my seat belt and put the car in drive as I pulled away.

Silence filled the car for a few moments, it felt like an eternity. The lights were bright and the roads were long and dark. I felt sick with how uncomfortable I felt. I just wanted him to say something stupid to make me laugh. It was silly but I missed our friendship and all of these intense feelings I have, have never changed that.

"Elena?" He said as I drove carefully.

"Yes?" I asked him, with a bit of relief and anxiety.

"Please don't go back to him." He whispered, in pain.

"Can you tell me what happened?" I asked him.

He didn't reply. He looked out the window and winced in pain till we got to the hospital. We checked in and waited in silence until they took us back. I felt so bad that all of this was because of me. When was I going to stop screwing up?

I watched him get all fixed up by the doctors and I wanted to cry but I held it in. My phone vibrated, I looked down and It was Stefan. I didn't pick up which probably meant I would be back here tomorrow but I couldn't think about that. I wanted to be here for Damon. I've been so angry with him for coming back and trying to have a say in my relationship when he was the reason I was even with Stefan but all of that faded once I saw him hurt. It made me think about what it must've been like for him to see me the same way. There was so much history between us that I don't know if I could ever lose him from my life.

"You're good to go." The doctor said, shaking Damon's hand and smiling at me.

"Wanna go home now?" I asked Damon.

"I'd like that, But I'm driving." He grinned and judged my driving skills.

"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes.

We walked out of the hospital with way less tension than when we walked in. Which I was thankful for.


"Are you going to be okay?" I asked Damon as we sat in his driveway.

"I guess that'll depend. Are you going to be okay?" He looked at me, waiting for me to talk about my relationship.

"I don't know." I answered honestly.

"Elena you know I've always been so in awe of your ability to have as much compassion and positivity in such terrible situations. You're the girl that will look for the good in everyone and I love that about you but not everyone deserves for someone to look for the good. Some people are just all bad."

"What are you?" I asked him.

"I'm the guy that wishes he could go back in time to take the pain I caused you away." Damon looked at me.

"I don't see you as a bad person."

"How do you see Stefan?" He asked me.

"That's not fair to ask me." I looked out the window.

"That's because you know that he's a bad person and you're afraid to admit it because you're scared." Damon stared at the back of my head.

"I wish things were different." I looked at him, staring into his icy blue eyes filled with sadness.

"They can be different."

"Damon for what it's worth. I'm sorry for pushing you away but it hasn't been easy having you back in my world after everything." I sighed.

"I know and I will stay out of your life if that's what you need but I can't watch you be in this relationship. It kills me to see you being hurt Elena. It has nothing to do with what happened between us. This is about you being hurt by a guy that doesn't love you. He doesn't care about you." Damon poured his heart out.

"I don't want you out of my life." I sniffled, looking away from him.

"Then I'll be here. When you're ready to talk about it."

I looked at him with tears in my eyes and we locked eyes but I looked away.

"And if I'm never ready?"

"I'm not going anywhere this time." He wiped the tears falling on my face.

I softly smiled in relief, looking back at him. All I could think was about how badly I wanted to kiss him.


I went for a run the next morning. I had to think about everything and I was too scared to be at home. I didn't want Stefan to show up. I figured a little time away might make him cool down from things. I ran an entire middle before I got a text from Caroline asking me to come over. I was only 2 blocks from her house so I walked over. I knew she had a lot to say to me about Stefan. I was clearly fucking everything up. I didn't really want to hear it right now but I needed advice about Damon. I walked into her house.

"Caroline?" I said.

"Coming!" She yelled from the kitchen.

I sat down on the living room couch, feeling exhausted that I actually fell asleep.

"Elena?" Caroline said with a concerned voice.

I blinked my eyes open. "Sorry. I ran here. I'm a bit tired."

"It's okay. How are you feeling?" She was worried.

"I'm fine." I lied.

"Elena, I'm worried about you. I need you to talk to me. Please." She begged for me to talk to her.

"You don't have to worry about me Caroline. I'm taking care of myself. It's just been hard but I will get through it. I'm thankful that you're here."

"You aren't though. I have known you for our whole lives. I know when you're not being honest with me. You can talk to me about anything. I won't judge you."

"Stefan gets mad at me a lot." I felt sick saying this again.

"What kind of mad." She folded her arms.

"This isn't easy to talk about." I sighed.

"You need to tell me."

"Sometimes he hits me." I looked at her face and she didn't seem surprised at all.

"You need to break up with him." Caroline was ready to go beat Stefan up herself.

"Stefan isn't a bad guy all the time. He's hurt me but I've felt like maybe I deserve all the misery." I looked at her.

"No one deserves to be treated like that Elena." Caroline was sad hearing the words she had already known.

"Caroline, I don't know what to do!" I felt suffocated with all my failures and my decisions.

She grabbed my arms. "Elena. You know what to do. You have to leave Stefan." She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "You know that you don't love him. You're with him out of convenience and to heal the hole in your heart from Damon."

"I guess it was just easier to believe the words he told me about being in love with me. I would've given anything to hear those words from Damon that when someone else said them I went along with it." I sat down, realizing the damage I've done to my life. "It's all my fault I've been blaming Damon for nothing. I shouldn't have waited for him to suddenly fall in love with me. It wasn't fair to him that I read everything."

"I don't think that's your fault. You can't choose who you fall in love with but it's not your fault he left you. You don't have to forgive him for that to move forward as friends."

"You think we can be friends like before without all the pain and blaming?"

"It's not going to be the same by any means but you love him and he loves you. That's worth fighting for."

I left Caroline's and I needed to go talk to Damon. I was angry at myself and at Stefan for fucking me up so much. What has happened to me? The voices in my head were telling me how stupid I was feeling. I just wanted to scream, but instead I ran faster. I wanted these walls that I put up to be knocked right down. I felt like I lost everything meaningful about myself. I wanted my world back.