Chapter 28 - Settling In
/Ranger's Point of View/
Over the next week, Stephanie and I settled into a rhythm of work and relaxation. As the namesake of Rangeman, Stephanie and Zulu took me to various authorities and clients to introduce me. Steph and I even had dinner with the mayor and his wife scheduled for Saturday evening.
On Saturday morning, Stephanie declared the need to go shopping. Apparently, she considered dinner with the mayor enough to justify a new dress. Who am I to argue? She attempted to slip out without me, assuming I wasn't interested in tagging along, but I managed to catch her before she pulled out of the garage.
"Interested in shopping?" she queried.
"Interested in taking you shopping, yes," I responded.
"You really don't have to. I am armed. I don't think I need someone watching my back. As agreed, I even have a tracker."
"I'm not here to watch your back…maybe your backside, but not your back," I retorted. She gave me a full belly laugh.
We spent three hours at the mall. We stopped for coffee twice. She had a hard time making a decision between two dresses. I encouraged both, but she said that was against her plan.
She decided to look at shoes hoping it would help solidify a decision. She determined the simple black dress with satin striping would work with some existing black heels. The magenta, full length dress that hugged her curves needed a new pair of gold, heeled sandals. She chose to go with the black dress based on not needing to buy new shoes.
Money hasn't been an issue for me for years now, but I could appreciate her desire to cut back. However, I took note of both the dress and shoes left behind with the intent of returning for them at a later date.
I was able to convince her that a trip to Victoria Secret, one of her favorites, would put her in a good mood for the evening. She seemed to buy that. I really had more selfish reasons.
She wanted to enter alone, so I left her to browse. I couldn't argue as we had been taking things slow. I hadn't wanted to push the issue.
Later after an enjoyable and productive evening where Stephanie dazzled the mayor, I heated up the hot tub.
"Beer or wine, Babe?" I asked.
She seemed to think a minute before replying, "feels more like a wine night unless you'd rather beer. I just want a glass or two."
I poured us each a glass of white wine into shatterproof glasses. I carried the glasses out to the hot tub and went back for the rest of the bottle so we wouldn't have to get out if more was desired.
I climbed into the hot tub and waited for Stephanie to join me. In the dark, I smiled thinking about our time together.
Stephanie came out a couple minutes later and turned on classic rock on the outdoor speakers. She let the robe slip off her shoulders before draping it across a deck chair. Then she carefully climbed into the hot tub next to me. I ran my eyes over her and she slipped into the water. It's amazing what working out had done for what was already an amazingly beautiful woman.
She took her glass of wine, indulged in a long sip, and settled back looking up at the stars. We sat there watching the stars for quite a while.
I finally broke the silence, "Babe, I am so incredibly proud of all you've accomplished here. I am blown away by your perseverance."
She shrugged, causing a ripple in the water. "I was due for a change. I made a list of goals, and worked towards them. Really, it was the first step that was the hardest. The core team was incredibly helpful."
I smiled. "Have you accomplished them all? The goals I mean."
She sighed and quietly replied, "mostly. I have one last one, but I've struggled." I didn't reply. I figured she'd open up if she wanted to share. She finally continued, "I want to figure out where I want to be in twenty years. You know…have a goal with a focus on maybe retiring at some point. But I can't really envision a path just yet."
"When you close your eyes, what do you envision?"
"I don't really see specifics. I don't think I'll be chasing FTAs or responding to security calls. Maybe I'll continue working with staff behind the scenes. I want to be giving back to the community. I've had the most fulfillment working on securing the pool for the community. But none of that is a goal or plan," she finished sighing.
"I've heard about a study that says most people are completely different every seven years. That we have different goals and probably wouldn't recognize ourselves anyway. Maybe you just focus on what makes you happy now?"
We sat in comfortable silence for a long time before she finally turned to me asking "do you have an idea of where you want to be in twenty years. You always seem to know where you are headed."
I was slow to respond. I really hadn't thought twenty years into the future. Finally, I decided to respond with true honesty. "Honestly, Babe, I never thought I'd make it this far. I thought I'd die in some forsaken place. But, now that my contract is over, I'm not sure." I waited for that to sink in.
"Your contract is over?" she asked curiously.
"Yeah, ended about three months ago. I had to finish the last deployment though. I spent the last several weeks in the wind negotiating a new contract with the help of my law team."
"Then it isn't over?" she interrupted.
"Going on dangerous missions is over."
"Why? You love that."
"I enjoy the thrill, but for a Ranger, I'm getting old. My body isn't bouncing back like it used to. I can't stand sleeping on the ground anymore. I have other places I want to be. I negotiated to provide strategic planning and support, but nothing that requires me to leave the country unless I want to." I paused and once more we sat watching the stars and listening to the quiet music.
"I really want to pick my challenges and enjoy my life now. I have put in a lot of hard work. I want to keep my mind busy strategizing and pushing the mission of Rangeman. But in twenty years?" I closed my eyes and focused on nothing once again but the lapping of the water and the quiet music.
"There is one thing I always see when I close my eyes and think about my future."
"What is it?" Stephanie replied quietly.
"You."
