h1span lang="EN-US"The pilot/span/h1
p class="MsoNormal"emspan lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Bodhi was back. At last!/span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"My eyes widened; this was the reason why Galen had eventually decided to break our agreement and passed my threshold. The plan was unravelling at last! Hope bloomed in my chest, and with it, uncertainty. Would Bodhi accept to defect and help us? Would he sell us? Would the overload be timely enough to allow us to flee? So many unknowns … but not a choice in sight./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Is it ready?", I asked./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Galen nodded, his eyes unfocused; he was probably reviewing the calculations in his head. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I'll call Bodhi to my quarters tomorrow night."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"People would assume I had resumed my sex friendliness given my spat with Dr Erso. Strangely, I who had always ignored actively rumours felt sick at the prospect of the pilot's hands upon my skin. The time of unattached, wild sex was over./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I reached for Galen and hugged him tight. When I found the courage to release him, I expected him to leave. Instead, he unbuttoned his uniform, and shed his clothes to lay beside me. And even though it killed out our defence, I couldn't help but shudder when his frame settled against mine. One last moment in heaven before entropy – chaos – took over our life./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Galen's hands descended upon my shirt, unbuttoning it slowly and I shifted to face him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I…" The words didn't want to come out; they burnt my throat. The scientist gently hummed, dropping a kiss to my temple to allow me to gather my thoughts. When I found I couldn't voice my deepest concerns, he eventually pulled away, and levelled me with an interrogative gaze./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Yes?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I sighed when his fingers parted the garment, caressing the bump tenderly. Our baby was sleeping, but the feeling of Galen's hands upon my bare skin causing me to shiver. Another kiss, landing upon my lips, had me melting in his arms. The question was still there, hanging at the back of my thoughts, overthrown by feelings. Back arching to meet my lover, hands buried in his hair, nose diving in the crook of his neck. I allowed myself to get lost in his presence, to be happy once more, even if our time was short./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Our bodies mingled with soft passion. Careful, and slow, Galen worked me to completion, his lips worshipping every piece of skin he could reach. As if he'd never touch me again. I whimpered, careful not to cry out, overwhelmed by sensations that seemed exacerbated by pregnancy. Nerves on fire, every single piece of me came alive, his sturdy frame diving into mine. Panting, I surrendered to the waves of pleasure that infused my whole belly, crawling up my spine. My peak was deep, profound and totally mind-blowing. Head thrown back, I sucked in a breath when I felt my lover twitch inside me, spilling his own pleasure with a barely contained grunts./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Galen eventually sagged over my lithe frame, mindful not to crush me when my legs locked behind him. Both our hearts drummed against our ribcage, an overwhelming symphony of heavy breaths, and strong "thud thud" perfectly synchronised. My little feet caressed the back of his thighs; I never wanted to let go. Would we remain intertwined forever if I was strong enough to keep him locked?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Then I felt him; our little boy, banging against my womb to make his presence known. The gentle tap tap seemed to reach to his father, and I smiled; even if Galen didn't feel it, he was already dedicated to this new life. My little bump fit so snuggly against his toned stomach, that baby pressed against us both, protected from the world by two loving parents./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The words came, at last, without the filter of a mind too stunned to function./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Galen? What does love feel like?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The scientist lifted his head to take a peek at me. Cheeks reddened, hair in disarray, his eyes sparkled like fireworks when he gazed down upon me with adoration./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""It feels like this," he whispered, his lips barely touching mine for a feather like kiss./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"My thundering heart missed a beat; no one had ever looked at me this way. Understanding struck me like a bantha at full gallop; there was nothing rational about love. It existed without any requirement, didn't need any ingredients to spark. And the way I admired Galen's face, his ways, his mind, his heart were just materialisation of this feeling. Love wasn't created by anything, determined or measurable./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"It simply was./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanI couldn't imagine life without him. It also showed in that breath I couldn't take when he was away. In that mind that refused to work when he smiled. In that terror that filled me, coiling my insides, when he was in danger./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I gently caressed his cheekbone, marvelling at the way loose strands fell over them, gently brushing his pale skin. Galen trapped me in his gaze, and I allowed him to carry me far away from this blasted moon. Hope bloomed in my chest, a feeling of completude settling inside of me./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I think I love you, Galen Erso."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The scientist's lips gently lifted in that secretive smile I so badly adored, the one he kept just for me./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I know Elya. But it is nice to hear it."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Anyone else would have found him presumptuous. I didn't; I had stated a fact. Galen had, very naturally, confirmed that this fact was true. I loved him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"It was that feeling that allowed me to handle the next day without crumbling down; D-2 before our tentative escape. The elation that I felt at confessing my love to Galen infused my core, keeping me functioning when the stress reached its peak. It allowed me to smile when I spotted Bodhi, dragging him to my room after an interminable evening playing cards and avoiding drinking alcohol altogether./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"It allowed me not to scowl when Bodhi reached out to kiss me, to set a hand upon his chest rather than punch him in the jaw./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""What? No sex? I thought you wanted to forget your scientist?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"His words struck me hard and fast, passing my defences with more strength than they should have. Forget Galen … as if it could possibly happen. Even if he died, he'd remain a shooting star in my life, especially now that I carried a piece of him. Now that I knew that I loved him, the idea of losing him filled me with terror. Bodhi's words caused me to crash from cloud nine, landing harshly upon reality./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Elya ?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"My brain just couldn't keep working. Stress, lack of sleep, and anguish had been eroding me for months. I was at the end of my rope, only sustained by Galen's support. So, instead of answering, I removed my vest and lifted up my shirt. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Er, what are you doing?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"His alarmed voice didn't stop me from releasing my core muscles; freed from their hold, my bump stood out. Bodhi's sharp intake of breath filled the silence of the room. His eyes popped out comically, but I couldn't find it in myself to smile./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""You're our only hope, Bodhi. If you don't help us, my child will be forever a slave of the empire."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The pilot stumbled backwards, sinking on the bed with a squeak./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Oh my… Hutt's butt!" he exclaimed, gesturing towards my pregnant belly. "Elya, what have you done?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I snorted; what had I not done, truthfully? I still couldn't remember if I had forgotten those blasted contraceptive pills. Fortunately, Bodhi was skilled enough in mathematics to get that this baby wasn't his. Pulling the shirt over the bump, I contracted my abdomen again to fit into the garment. Then I sat on the bed beside Bodhi. The pilot was flustered. Who could blame him?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I had come to consider him my friend, but had he? What was the nature of our bond? Would it be strong enough? Eventually, Bodhi passed a weary hand over his face, pointing at my stomach./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""You've got a tight leash on it, I would never have suspected."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I nodded; more than core muscles, I had discovered that tilting my hips inwards kept it from showing too much because it kept the volume under the heavy vest./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I don't think I'll be able to keep him for much longer. I'm having trouble pushing away my annual health check as it is."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"For a moment, the pilot watched me, nibbling upon his lower lip. Unsure. Then he blurted out:/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Couldn't you … get rid of it?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""No!", I cried, surprised by my own outburst. Bodhi lifted his hands in the universal sign of surrender, and I sighed heavily. Why did I feel so panicked when I had wished for this baby to disappear so often? When I had cursed and fought it tooth and nail, wondering about abortion at every turn?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Sorry, sorry, don't be mad."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I grimaced, aware that my outburst had frightened him. "I … sorry, Bodhi. I just… I just can't throw his life away. It would break Galen, you understand? We are screwed, but it makes him happy."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Silence hung in the air for a moment – without mention that I had said "him", and not 'us – until Bodhi started chuckling nervously./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""So, no sex for me, and not even a stiff drink. You strike a hard bargain, Elya."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"His mirth caused my lips to quirk, but the amusement didn't last. My life depended on him. My baby's life and Galen's depended on him. And so did Jyn. Bodhi Rook, relegated to second class piloting by the Empire, held our family's fate in his hands./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Will you help us, Bodhi? Take us out of here?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Pure horror descended upon his features, and he sprang to his feet. "I … damn it! Even if we made it, and I doubt that because I sure as hell can't outfly a tie fighter…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I snorted. "Bodhi, there are no ties around Eadu. No star destroyers, not even a class cruiser…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I knew the base counted on its secrecy, rather than on heavy security to keep people in. After all, the empire controlled that poor excuse of a moon. Who could be crazy enough to break in? But Bodhi didn't see it this way, and I'm quite sure his blood pressure was spiking right now as he rambled:/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Which is irrelevant right now, they're still a few ion canons, and fighters in that hangar, believe me."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Bodhi…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I'd be a fugitive. How am I going to live? To survive the empire looking for me? No, no, no, no, you can't ask this of me!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"My stomach plummeted; this was it. The moment he turned his back on us. I shouldn't blame him, really, but I was desperate. Jumping to my own feet, I reached for his arm, and held tight. Bodhi froze, shaking his head from left to right. "Bodhi…" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The pilot refused to meet my gaze, stubbornly watching at the ground. "Hear me out please. Then I'll let you go."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The lithe man ground his teeth, then lifted his head to look me dead in the eye. Frightened. We were both led by fear. I should have kept Galen's involvement with the alliance a secret, if only to protect him should Bodhi betray us. But, given my peculiar mind, I sucked at convincing people. I needed to find an angle that spoke to him. "I… Galen has some contacts with the rebels. He can take us somewhere safe."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Bodhi didn't look too convinced, so I went on. "He says the alliance always had needs of pilots." A gleam of hope passed in his dark eyes – Bodhi Rook still dreamt of being a fighter pilot – swallowed by terror an instant later. "Fuck, Elya. Fuck! I had a life, and you're asking me to throw it all away because you slept with the wrong guy!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"My mood turned murderous. How was it my fault that Krennic had wrapped me around his little finger, using my weakness against me? How was it my fault that Galen had wormed in his way in my heart, uh? But I wasn't here to defend myself… This was bigger than us. Bigger than this baby, even. And most of all, I couldn't hear that Galen Erso was a "wrong" guy; he was a fucking genius, risking his life, his family to give the universe a chance. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Do you know what we are doing here, Bodhi? We're harnessing the power of Kyber crystals to destroy planets." A blank look responded to my preposterous claim until realisation dawned upon Bodhi's features. "Whatever…. Wait, what? Kybers?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I knew where he came from; Jedha's temple had been ransacked to steal the Kyber crystals, its guardians thrown in the street. Surely Bodhi wouldn't be indifferent to this. "You know where they come from, right?" His features morphed, turning to steel as he stated cooly: "The Jedha temple ? The Kybers are here?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I nodded. "Yes. And others from Jedi lightsaber." Horror settled in his gaze and I pressed my point. "If we don't stop it, they'll twist it around, and build the greatest weapon the galaxy has known. The empire will be unstoppable then."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"All fight seemed to leave Bodhi as he sagged against the wall, shoulders slumped. I hated to push him so far, so fast; he suddenly seemed very small. So unlike Galen, whose strength supported me, no matter what. Still, I was making leeway; the pilot wasn't even protesting anymore. And even though I was using Krennic's despicable methods to drag him out of his zone of comfort, I pushed the guilt away./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""You've seen what the empire does with its own, Bodhi. Right? Remember Korwin? Don't you feel guilty at all that you're supplying the base that stole from Jedha? That kills his own scientists? How long before you're the one who disappears?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Bodhi Rook straightened, the fight returning in his eyes. Indignation sparkled in those dark orbs, and pain. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I feel plenty guilty!" he told me. "I've seen far worse than you think. I just wasn't ready for it."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"That confession took me aback, and I resolved to ask more about his life if the occasion arose. It reminded me of Korwin's death, and the subsequent realisation that Krennic had been manipulating me all this time. How could I forget the emptiness, the betrayal that had carved so deep in my stomach? Years of blind faith, shattered by the truth./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Neither was I," I sighed. "But we're the only ones that can do something about it."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Yeah, right. A pregnant woman, a broken scientist and a second-rate pilot. What a team, woo."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The cynism didn't escape me. So far, I had no idea if Bodhi would come round, or leave us to our ow devices. Worse, would our secrets be discovered, one way or another? I doubted Bodhi would sell us for his own gain, but he was a twitchy, nervous fellow. Any spy of Krennic's might rat him out…/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Bracing myself for the answer, I reached for Bodhi's shoulder. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Bodhi ! Will you help, or not?" He watched me like a squirrel caught stealing a bag of nuts./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I … uh… I need to think on it."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"emspan lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Bodhi was back. At last!/span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"My eyes widened; this was the reason why Galen had eventually decided to break our agreement and passed my threshold. The plan was unravelling at last! Hope bloomed in my chest, and with it, uncertainty. Would Bodhi accept to defect and help us? Would he sell us? Would the overload be timely enough to allow us to flee? So many unknowns … but not a choice in sight./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Is it ready?", I asked./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Galen nodded, his eyes unfocused; he was probably reviewing the calculations in his head. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I'll call Bodhi to my quarters tomorrow night."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"People would assume I had resumed my sex friendliness given my spat with Dr Erso. Strangely, I who had always ignored actively rumours felt sick at the prospect of the pilot's hands upon my skin. The time of unattached, wild sex was over./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I reached for Galen and hugged him tight. When I found the courage to release him, I expected him to leave. Instead, he unbuttoned his uniform, and shed his clothes to lay beside me. And even though it killed out our defence, I couldn't help but shudder when his frame settled against mine. One last moment in heaven before entropy – chaos – took over our life./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Galen's hands descended upon my shirt, unbuttoning it slowly and I shifted to face him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I…" The words didn't want to come out; they burnt my throat. The scientist gently hummed, dropping a kiss to my temple to allow me to gather my thoughts. When I found I couldn't voice my deepest concerns, he eventually pulled away, and levelled me with an interrogative gaze./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Yes?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I sighed when his fingers parted the garment, caressing the bump tenderly. Our baby was sleeping, but the feeling of Galen's hands upon my bare skin causing me to shiver. Another kiss, landing upon my lips, had me melting in his arms. The question was still there, hanging at the back of my thoughts, overthrown by feelings. Back arching to meet my lover, hands buried in his hair, nose diving in the crook of his neck. I allowed myself to get lost in his presence, to be happy once more, even if our time was short./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Our bodies mingled with soft passion. Careful, and slow, Galen worked me to completion, his lips worshipping every piece of skin he could reach. As if he'd never touch me again. I whimpered, careful not to cry out, overwhelmed by sensations that seemed exacerbated by pregnancy. Nerves on fire, every single piece of me came alive, his sturdy frame diving into mine. Panting, I surrendered to the waves of pleasure that infused my whole belly, crawling up my spine. My peak was deep, profound and totally mind-blowing. Head thrown back, I sucked in a breath when I felt my lover twitch inside me, spilling his own pleasure with a barely contained grunts./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Galen eventually sagged over my lithe frame, mindful not to crush me when my legs locked behind him. Both our hearts drummed against our ribcage, an overwhelming symphony of heavy breaths, and strong "thud thud" perfectly synchronised. My little feet caressed the back of his thighs; I never wanted to let go. Would we remain intertwined forever if I was strong enough to keep him locked?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Then I felt him; our little boy, banging against my womb to make his presence known. The gentle tap tap seemed to reach to his father, and I smiled; even if Galen didn't feel it, he was already dedicated to this new life. My little bump fit so snuggly against his toned stomach, that baby pressed against us both, protected from the world by two loving parents./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The words came, at last, without the filter of a mind too stunned to function./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Galen? What does love feel like?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The scientist lifted his head to take a peek at me. Cheeks reddened, hair in disarray, his eyes sparkled like fireworks when he gazed down upon me with adoration./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""It feels like this," he whispered, his lips barely touching mine for a feather like kiss./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"My thundering heart missed a beat; no one had ever looked at me this way. Understanding struck me like a bantha at full gallop; there was nothing rational about love. It existed without any requirement, didn't need any ingredients to spark. And the way I admired Galen's face, his ways, his mind, his heart were just materialisation of this feeling. Love wasn't created by anything, determined or measurable./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"It simply was./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanI couldn't imagine life without him. It also showed in that breath I couldn't take when he was away. In that mind that refused to work when he smiled. In that terror that filled me, coiling my insides, when he was in danger./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I gently caressed his cheekbone, marvelling at the way loose strands fell over them, gently brushing his pale skin. Galen trapped me in his gaze, and I allowed him to carry me far away from this blasted moon. Hope bloomed in my chest, a feeling of completude settling inside of me./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I think I love you, Galen Erso."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The scientist's lips gently lifted in that secretive smile I so badly adored, the one he kept just for me./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I know Elya. But it is nice to hear it."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Anyone else would have found him presumptuous. I didn't; I had stated a fact. Galen had, very naturally, confirmed that this fact was true. I loved him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"It was that feeling that allowed me to handle the next day without crumbling down; D-2 before our tentative escape. The elation that I felt at confessing my love to Galen infused my core, keeping me functioning when the stress reached its peak. It allowed me to smile when I spotted Bodhi, dragging him to my room after an interminable evening playing cards and avoiding drinking alcohol altogether./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"It allowed me not to scowl when Bodhi reached out to kiss me, to set a hand upon his chest rather than punch him in the jaw./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""What? No sex? I thought you wanted to forget your scientist?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"His words struck me hard and fast, passing my defences with more strength than they should have. Forget Galen … as if it could possibly happen. Even if he died, he'd remain a shooting star in my life, especially now that I carried a piece of him. Now that I knew that I loved him, the idea of losing him filled me with terror. Bodhi's words caused me to crash from cloud nine, landing harshly upon reality./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Elya ?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"My brain just couldn't keep working. Stress, lack of sleep, and anguish had been eroding me for months. I was at the end of my rope, only sustained by Galen's support. So, instead of answering, I removed my vest and lifted up my shirt. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Er, what are you doing?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"His alarmed voice didn't stop me from releasing my core muscles; freed from their hold, my bump stood out. Bodhi's sharp intake of breath filled the silence of the room. His eyes popped out comically, but I couldn't find it in myself to smile./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""You're our only hope, Bodhi. If you don't help us, my child will be forever a slave of the empire."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The pilot stumbled backwards, sinking on the bed with a squeak./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Oh my… Hutt's butt!" he exclaimed, gesturing towards my pregnant belly. "Elya, what have you done?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I snorted; what had I not done, truthfully? I still couldn't remember if I had forgotten those blasted contraceptive pills. Fortunately, Bodhi was skilled enough in mathematics to get that this baby wasn't his. Pulling the shirt over the bump, I contracted my abdomen again to fit into the garment. Then I sat on the bed beside Bodhi. The pilot was flustered. Who could blame him?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I had come to consider him my friend, but had he? What was the nature of our bond? Would it be strong enough? Eventually, Bodhi passed a weary hand over his face, pointing at my stomach./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""You've got a tight leash on it, I would never have suspected."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I nodded; more than core muscles, I had discovered that tilting my hips inwards kept it from showing too much because it kept the volume under the heavy vest./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I don't think I'll be able to keep him for much longer. I'm having trouble pushing away my annual health check as it is."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"For a moment, the pilot watched me, nibbling upon his lower lip. Unsure. Then he blurted out:/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Couldn't you … get rid of it?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""No!", I cried, surprised by my own outburst. Bodhi lifted his hands in the universal sign of surrender, and I sighed heavily. Why did I feel so panicked when I had wished for this baby to disappear so often? When I had cursed and fought it tooth and nail, wondering about abortion at every turn?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Sorry, sorry, don't be mad."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I grimaced, aware that my outburst had frightened him. "I … sorry, Bodhi. I just… I just can't throw his life away. It would break Galen, you understand? We are screwed, but it makes him happy."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Silence hung in the air for a moment – without mention that I had said "him", and not 'us – until Bodhi started chuckling nervously./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""So, no sex for me, and not even a stiff drink. You strike a hard bargain, Elya."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"His mirth caused my lips to quirk, but the amusement didn't last. My life depended on him. My baby's life and Galen's depended on him. And so did Jyn. Bodhi Rook, relegated to second class piloting by the Empire, held our family's fate in his hands./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Will you help us, Bodhi? Take us out of here?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Pure horror descended upon his features, and he sprang to his feet. "I … damn it! Even if we made it, and I doubt that because I sure as hell can't outfly a tie fighter…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I snorted. "Bodhi, there are no ties around Eadu. No star destroyers, not even a class cruiser…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I knew the base counted on its secrecy, rather than on heavy security to keep people in. After all, the empire controlled that poor excuse of a moon. Who could be crazy enough to break in? But Bodhi didn't see it this way, and I'm quite sure his blood pressure was spiking right now as he rambled:/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Which is irrelevant right now, they're still a few ion canons, and fighters in that hangar, believe me."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Bodhi…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I'd be a fugitive. How am I going to live? To survive the empire looking for me? No, no, no, no, you can't ask this of me!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"My stomach plummeted; this was it. The moment he turned his back on us. I shouldn't blame him, really, but I was desperate. Jumping to my own feet, I reached for his arm, and held tight. Bodhi froze, shaking his head from left to right. "Bodhi…" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The pilot refused to meet my gaze, stubbornly watching at the ground. "Hear me out please. Then I'll let you go."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The lithe man ground his teeth, then lifted his head to look me dead in the eye. Frightened. We were both led by fear. I should have kept Galen's involvement with the alliance a secret, if only to protect him should Bodhi betray us. But, given my peculiar mind, I sucked at convincing people. I needed to find an angle that spoke to him. "I… Galen has some contacts with the rebels. He can take us somewhere safe."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Bodhi didn't look too convinced, so I went on. "He says the alliance always had needs of pilots." A gleam of hope passed in his dark eyes – Bodhi Rook still dreamt of being a fighter pilot – swallowed by terror an instant later. "Fuck, Elya. Fuck! I had a life, and you're asking me to throw it all away because you slept with the wrong guy!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"My mood turned murderous. How was it my fault that Krennic had wrapped me around his little finger, using my weakness against me? How was it my fault that Galen had wormed in his way in my heart, uh? But I wasn't here to defend myself… This was bigger than us. Bigger than this baby, even. And most of all, I couldn't hear that Galen Erso was a "wrong" guy; he was a fucking genius, risking his life, his family to give the universe a chance. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Do you know what we are doing here, Bodhi? We're harnessing the power of Kyber crystals to destroy planets." A blank look responded to my preposterous claim until realisation dawned upon Bodhi's features. "Whatever…. Wait, what? Kybers?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I knew where he came from; Jedha's temple had been ransacked to steal the Kyber crystals, its guardians thrown in the street. Surely Bodhi wouldn't be indifferent to this. "You know where they come from, right?" His features morphed, turning to steel as he stated cooly: "The Jedha temple ? The Kybers are here?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"I nodded. "Yes. And others from Jedi lightsaber." Horror settled in his gaze and I pressed my point. "If we don't stop it, they'll twist it around, and build the greatest weapon the galaxy has known. The empire will be unstoppable then."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"All fight seemed to leave Bodhi as he sagged against the wall, shoulders slumped. I hated to push him so far, so fast; he suddenly seemed very small. So unlike Galen, whose strength supported me, no matter what. Still, I was making leeway; the pilot wasn't even protesting anymore. And even though I was using Krennic's despicable methods to drag him out of his zone of comfort, I pushed the guilt away./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""You've seen what the empire does with its own, Bodhi. Right? Remember Korwin? Don't you feel guilty at all that you're supplying the base that stole from Jedha? That kills his own scientists? How long before you're the one who disappears?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Bodhi Rook straightened, the fight returning in his eyes. Indignation sparkled in those dark orbs, and pain. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I feel plenty guilty!" he told me. "I've seen far worse than you think. I just wasn't ready for it."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"That confession took me aback, and I resolved to ask more about his life if the occasion arose. It reminded me of Korwin's death, and the subsequent realisation that Krennic had been manipulating me all this time. How could I forget the emptiness, the betrayal that had carved so deep in my stomach? Years of blind faith, shattered by the truth./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Neither was I," I sighed. "But we're the only ones that can do something about it."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Yeah, right. A pregnant woman, a broken scientist and a second-rate pilot. What a team, woo."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"The cynism didn't escape me. So far, I had no idea if Bodhi would come round, or leave us to our ow devices. Worse, would our secrets be discovered, one way or another? I doubted Bodhi would sell us for his own gain, but he was a twitchy, nervous fellow. Any spy of Krennic's might rat him out…/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"Bracing myself for the answer, I reached for Bodhi's shoulder. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""Bodhi ! Will you help, or not?" He watched me like a squirrel caught stealing a bag of nuts./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;""I … uh… I need to think on it."/span/p
