I stood there staring at my father. I waited for his answer to why he left me. Why did he destroy my world?
"Can we sit down?" He said, looking around at the crowded cafe.
"No. I can't sit down with you. Not like this. We can't do this!" I yelled in anger. "We can't pretend that you didn't leave me. We can't move on from this." He looked around at the people staring while I was screaming. "You aren't even listening to me! You're too concerned about your image? Why aren't you more concerned about abandoning your own daughter? You don't think that would make people look at you the way they're looking at you right now?"
"Sabrina stop!" He was overwhelmed.
"No!" I was so angry.
He took my hand and walked me outside. "Please don't do this."
"Why did you not let Shawn adopt me?" I couldn't wait.
"You belong with your family. I want you to come live with me." He said in frustration and not with much care.
"You really think that I was going to forgive you?" I asked him, I was in shock.
"You hugged me. It's clear that you missed your dad and you want to be with me. You need a father." He explained.
"I was filled with emotions that I hadn't experienced since I was a child. I hugged you out of pain from the times I had wished for years to hug my daddy. The time I fell off my bike and had to get stitches. The time that I had to pick my drunk mother off the floor. The times I was scared I was going to be an orphan because I thought she was going to die and you were gone. Those times I just had a bad day at school and needed a hug from my dad. That's why I hugged you."
"I'm sorry I've been gone. I wasn't ready to be a dad but I am now." He smiled, nervously.
"When you were gone. I was here raising myself and taking care of my mom. I never got the childhood that I should've had. I had some great people in my life. My best friend's family treated me more like a daughter than you both ever have. I don't want to be your daughter anymore. Shawn was there for me when no one else was. He took me to school. He helped me with my homework. He made sure I had food. These are things you should expect a parent to do but it was something you both never did for me." I was looking at him as I said these words and I just knew that he didn't get it.
"I don't know how many times I can apologize. I'm here now and that's what matters. I know you like Shawn and all of your friends but they aren't your flesh and blood." He stated.
"Yeah I got lucky there because all my flesh and blood have ever done is let me down. You have nothing to give to me. You are a terrible person. You have one chance to make things right and that's to let Shawn adopt me." I looked at him waiting for him to say anything but he didn't. "You are not my father. You will never be. I don't care anymore if Shawn isn't legally my father. He's my father because he shows up everyday. He's my father because he listens and cares about me and for me." I laughed with no humor.
"Sabrina-" He looked at me with guilt.
"Goodbye." I said before walking away.
Rowan's POV
I got into the airport. Standing there saying goodbye to all my friends and family. It felt a little dramatic since it was only a few weeks. I think everyone is just as worried as I am. Sabrina and I had some time last night. She was going through a lot with her dad so she did need some time to go through it. I was so proud of her for it. Josh told me how badly she cried when she got into the car after talking to him. I'm so happy she has someone that loves her and can be there with her while I'm away. It was almost time to go and everyone left except for Lucas.
"It's almost time to leave." I sighed while I twirled his fingers in my hand. I wanted to freeze this moment.
"Promise me something?" He asked me.
"Anything." I smiled.
"Don't spend your time out there thinking about back home. As much as I want to talk to you every single day, I want you to live in the moment." Lucas looks serious.
"You don't want me to talk to you?" I was confused.
"I'll be here if you need anything. You can always call me but it's okay if you don't. I want you to try and have the best time and I know that you're still healing a lot of pain. I know we rushed into this relationship and I wouldn't change that but I want to make sure that you are healing for yourself and not healing because we all need you to." He took my hand.
"Where is this coming from?" I wonder.
"I just want to be supportive and I love you. I want you to try and experience new things and have fun. I'll be here if you need me. We all will be but I want you to make so many memories that you can't wait to get back home to tell all of us." He was excited for me.
"Okay. I'll do it."
I was nervous about the idea of not talking to him everyday. I was sure we would be on the phone the entire time I was gone. I knew he was right. It's not healthy to be so dependent on others. All of them really, not just Lucas. I should spend the time doing new things. I've healed so many parts of myself this year but I did it with my friends and There wouldn't be much growth or change in my life if I didn't pause everything and fully give this place a chance. It was nice knowing I could call if I needed to.
I boarded the plane and I never looked back. I was ready for this journey of finding myself in a new place.
Sabrina's POV
I felt bad about not being there to send Rowan off to the airport but I know she understood why. It was everything to know that I had such a great best friend, all my friends, my boyfriend and Shawn. I thought I would feel better confronting my father. I didn't feel better. It felt good to tell him those things because it was how I felt but I feel worse than ever. It was heartbreaking to experience the emptiness I felt when I said those words to him and he stood there. He didn't try hard enough to make it up to me. The years of me questioning if I wasn't good enough and that's why he left me echoed my thoughts. I knew it was never my fault now. It was his.
I heard a knock on my door. "Sab?"
"Come in."
Shawn walks in with a big smile. "How are you doing kid?"
"I've been better." I sat up.
"I got a call today from your father." Shawn looks at me.
"I'm sorry. I should've told you I went to see him. I didn't really want to talk about it." I felt bad.
"Are you okay?" He wondered.
"It was horrible. I shouldn't have gone. He wanted me to come live with him but he couldn't even listen. I was standing right there. I was talking to him about everything and he didn't hear a single word." I wiped away some tears from my eyes.
"Oh Sabrina. I'm so sorry." He pulled me into his arms.
"I still have you and that's all that I care about but it will always hurt knowing how they always treated me like I was disposable."
"I'll always be here for you regardless of what a piece of paper says. I choose you, Sabrina."
"Thank you for being the parent that showed up." I smiled with tears in my eyes.
"I love you kid." His face softened as his eyes watered.
"I love you too dad."
Authors Note:
It's my birthday! So here you go!
