There are no birds singing. The flowers bloom in spring. It's dark out, and a long, exhausting day. The main character of this unfortunate saga flops into bed… except this isn't an anime. Work isn't great. The world is sort of shit. Who even cares except dreams await.
"I hope tomorrow's shift doesn't drag…"
And before long? Asleep.
-
Why is it so dark here?
My first thoughts aren't that intelligent. It should be light out, or there should be light from the constantly-blinking light on my phone that's the never-ending unfortunateness of the modern world. Except, uh, no, it's pitch black and I hear something… rummaging?
I live alone.
It's like someone's rattling the door.
"What's that noise?" I murmur to myself, tiredly.
A strange, scratchy voice speaks in a language I'm not really familiar with but my brain translates it—I think.
"Damn! People are coming! I better hurry and find that uniform before someone spots me…"
There's rustling and movement above me. Wait—am I in something?
"Uhnnn! This lid is heavy!"
There's still the sound of struggling and I become more and more aware I am in a box and someone or something is trying to get me out.
This is no time to panic but guess what, I am panicking. "It might… nnnn-That's it!"
A bunch of blue flames color my world for a moment and everything is far too bright for my dark-accustomed(ish) eyes. "F-fire?!" I sputter out in shock and surprise. Why is there fire? What made all this fire?
"Alright! This is what I need…" The voice murmurs, and soon as we catch sight of each other, it screams: "Ahhhhh! You?! Why are you awake?!"
I'm not sure what's more strange, is it the floating coffins I see floating around a mysterious room lit by strnage, green lanterns casting an almost evil light or the strange cat-ish creature that has flaming ears and a Nightmare Before Christmas-esque bow. Either way, I am absolutely—is that a pitchfork tail? But the most intelligent thing pops out of my mouth: "A t-talking cat?!"
Immediately, the stratled thing looks offended. "Who, me?! I am the great Grim, you know?!"
So it has a name. That name is Grim. And that tells me literally nothing about anything going on.
"Whatever, you… human! Gimme those clothes, now!" The cat-thing-that-says-its-not-a-cat demands. "Or if you don't… I will burn you!"
Blue flames spur up around me… and I think I'm in a coffin right now. Well, that's convenient. It can be my pyre.
I cannot keep my big mouth shut in dreams or half-asleep, I blurt out: "Burned alive by a cat? What what else am I going to dream?"
"I am NOT a cat!" Grim, or the flaming cat-creature of this strange dream, exclaims.
I book it. No. I am out of what could have been my final resting place and dash away as fast as I can. I feel ten or so years younger with how fast I'm running down this fantasy dream land. Why does this look like some evil lair from a video game?
First I run through hallways that go I think between buildings. It's all stonework and dark carpeting. Outside I see, I think, that this place is absolutely massive but because there's a fire-making cat chasing me (I think), I don't stop the admire the architecture.
I look into an open door on my right and I swear it looks like a lecture hall from a college, with the books and the seating but it's almost too dark to tell. Maybe I've played too many indie horror games in my life that involve a school. But yes, school? That IS nightmare fuel.
Running leads me through big, heavy doors. It takes the adeniline rush of dream-fear to where I throw them open without a moment of hesitation. It's- it's a coartyard with manicured trees and an old-styule wishing well. Yeah, I'd like to wish myself back to bed. Thanks.
But do I stop? Oh no. I swear I hear the fast-thumping of running paws behind be and I don't wait around to find out.
I throw open another set of doors to find what is definitely a library. As someone that has been to many libraries in my shortening lifespan, I know a library. But… but books don't float. I know books don't float. Why are the books floating?
I've finally stopped to catch my breath. I'm not an athlete. This is mild torture. "If this is a dream, can I please wake up?"
Of course this is a hellish dreamscape because once more fire lights up and there's the fire cat standing before me.
"Did you really think you could escape me, human?!" He looks pretty cocky about it, too. I want to punt him down the hallway. "Now, if you don't want to be crispified, give me those clothes!"
I did not sign up to be part of a hentai game thank you.
There is the crack of a whip and a sudden flash of light.
I did not sign up for a hentai, thank you.
"OW! That hurts?! What's that string!?" Grim cries out, starteled.
A strange, higher-pitched voice with some authority rings out, "It is not a string! It is the whip of love!"
This is not the erotic dream I wanted. At all. I'm not into this genre.
I glance over to the speaker to see some point-eared, mask-wearing, anime man with a feathered cape. Yeah this isn't the erotic dream I ever wanted. He looks like some gothic-manga circus ring master. He's wearing a top nhot lined with a deep shade of I think purple, holding a framed mirror and a decorated feather. His hair comes out oddly spiky, in strange locks, and his mask looks like a bird skull with eerily glowing yellow orbs. And, he has pointy ears… and lipstick.
The cape has the same purple and gold, with feathers away from the collar that goes into a rich magenta with gold—his vest is black with gorgeous decorations that sparkle many colors. Underneath is a dress shirt and tucked-in black tie. Black pants and a strange belt of doo-dads of gold, maybe more mirrors? And keys hanging off. His cape ends in features, and he's wearing a jacket off-the-shoulders. It's busy.
And that's when I notice the golden claws at the end of black gloves.
No thanks.
"I have finally found you. You are the new student, correct?" I think he's talking to me now.
New… student? What?
"Well, that's not good. You ran off without permission." The unknown freakshow continues. He's as pale as a ghost. Maybe he IS a ghost? "And on top of that, you brought a poorly-trained familiar with you, against the school's rules."
School? Familiar? What is this, Goth Hogwarts?
Grim shrieks indignantly, "I'm not their familiar! Let me go!"
"Yes, yes, that's what they all say. Now let's be quiet, shall we?" The ringmaster-from-goth-manga says, approaching Grim.
"Mmmgh, mmmph!" Grim shouts, but is muffled.
"Honestly, I have never had a new student run through the school by themselves. Do you not know patience?" He sighs, disappointed like a teacher. I know this well. "Well, well, come along now. The opening ceremony already started. Let us return to the Mirror Chamber."
"Mirror chamber?"
"It is the room where you woke up. The room with doors in a line. Every student arrives through the doors to come here. Although, the students usually do not wake until we use a key to open the door, but…"
"Did the fire open the door?"
"In the end, it seems the culprit is your familiar, huh…"
I look at him bewildered both that he completely ignored that Grim proclaimed not to be mine and I have not told the BDSM circus freak that Grim was my familiar. He's not. I have no idea what he's talking about.
But, of course, mirror-hat continues, "You were the one that brought him here, so it is your responsibility to take care of him."
I did not bring Grim.
I don't even know where here is.
"But-" I am cut off, because hat-man likes the sound of his own voice. "Oh! This is not the time for prattle. We must hurry, you have the opening ceremony to attend! Come, come, let us go now."
"First!" I finally have found a tone that he takes notice of, "where am I?"
"Hm? Are you not awake yet? Maybe your memory is distorced from the transportation magic… Well! These things happen, I suppose. I will explain on the way. Well, after all, I am quite kind."
Bullshit.
He's giving off the strangest grin, and his eyes sort of… turn into slits? The glowing golden orbs that I guess are eyes. Is that a mask effect? Is this weird dream magic? There are still books floating around everywhere. He even motioned out with his arms, fluttering his over-the-top coat/cape combo and showing off those really sharp finger-claws. Does he have a thing for cats?
He's dragging along Grim like the fire-cat is nothing.
I would really, really like to wake up right about now. I was really warm in my bed. Fresh from a shower. Nice, warm pajamas…
But I'm still following him out of the library and into the courtyard.
Sure, I'm looking around everywhere and he suddenly coughs, "Ahem. This is Night Raven College. It is a school where talented magicions come together. The most prestigous magician academy in all of Twisted Wonderland."
Where the hell is Twisted Wonderland? What is this, Vampire Academy? Is this mysterious whip-man a vampire? Deathly pale and pointed ears? Yeah, I think this is some sort of magic vampire school.
Great.
"And I am the headmaster and chairman of the board, Dire Crowley."
Okay. So this is the ringleader of this magic-circus. I knew it by the hat and whip.
"Magicians…?"
"Only those with exceptional magical talent can be admitted to this college."
Uh.
Hold the phone.
I have 0 magic. I am a normal person leading a normal life outside of the weird dream I'm in. So, what, now I'm a witch in my dreams? That's… I need to stop reading fantasy stuff before bed. These dreams are getting weirder and weirder—and not even in a good way!
"And only those who are chosen by the Mirror of Darkness come through the doors from all over the world. A black carriage with the door picked you up as well."
The… coffin. The coffin is the door, or the gate. And someone I got into a coffin, and into a carriage, and here… where Grim woke me up by trying to steal my clothes.
This makes no sense. I want my dreams to make sense.
"So I'm here against my will…"
Grim starts to muffle-shout protests. Dire Crowley ignores it. "Now then, let us go to the opening ceremony."
Okay. I guess it's on to more of this crazy dream.
We continue through the courtyard and to the hallway that I ran through before, this time at a slower place and with Grim struggling uselessly in Headmaster Crowley's grasp. I've finally caught my breath, at least…
