Shut-down notice
I'm going to be deleting "The Holy Food Wars" soon, and I probably won't ever start writing about it again.
I'm gonna be posting the notes of where I originally planned to take this shortly after this explanation, but yeah, that's that.
The main reason is just that I feel like it does disrespect to the actual saint, Jeanne D'Arc of France, whom I highly respect. But also just that I feel like the whole thing is kind of poorly written and kind of cringe (even for a very exaggerated humor story), even if it has some pretty clever ideas behind it.
One could argue that it's not really that disrespectful to actual Saint, since this depiction of Jeanne D'Arc is based on the Nasuverse depiction of Jeanne D'Arc, which is already kind of disrespectful and somewhat sexualized depiction of Jeanne D'Arc, and which this story only then bases its depiction off of.
Which is true, in some sense.
After all, is a more exaggerated parody of an already inaccurate parody (which is not even intentionally meant to be disrespectful in the first place) really that much of an offense to the real Saint in the first place?
Maybe not, but, meh, I'd rather not be disrespectful towards the real in any sense, even if it's just like this.
I could probably continue this story by editing out any mentions to Jeanne D'Arc and revising all the chapters, but to be honest, I'd rather not. Because the character of Jeanne D'Arc is kind of central to a lot of the story, and also just because, to be honest, I don't really want to go through the work of re-writing all these clumsily and hastily written chapters, to be honest.
Probably gonna be taking it down in about a month or so, so if you enjoyed it, it'll still be here for about a month or so.
The story is up for adaption, by the way, if anybody would want it.
Just send a PM, and I can send you over the text and/or the files. Some people have asked if they can use my story ideas before, which is why I mention it.
You don't have to use the exact words, since I know a lot of this story is poorly phrased - as I wrote a lot of it in a rush, and you're free to rewrite as you would wish. But if you would want to carry on some of the ideas or premise, feel free to.
(I think the premise, in fact, works very well - I never even realized how extremely compatible the Fate characters were with Shokugeki no Souma until I started writing this.)
If nobody adopts this, then it'll just be lost to the void forever, I guess.
...
Anyways, the very rough notes for where I planned to take the story and such are below.
If I was actually interested in writing it all out, it could probably have turned out a lot better than it seems from just the notes. But as it is now, to be honest, I don't really have much interest or motivation to do so.
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Flavor Notes - Notes for where the Story would've gone afterwards
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The underground cooking world that can grant any wish for any ingredient or recipe, or so it was rumored.
opponent using human meat and narcotic ingredients, stimulate pleasure
The Evils of Humanity's dark underground cooking scene, Kotomine Kirei and Gilgamesh both associated, Kotomine introducing it to Gilgamesh as Gil's patron, who sought flavors and ingredients and worthy chefs he could barely find on the surface scene (the Light/Passed Day side of the cooking world).
But here, can find chefs of all sorts, truly an amusing dark place, one he wouldn't mind staying in for the nights. The reverse side of the cooking world (the Dark/Stay Night side), truly amusing.
Using human flesh of Japanese citizens as meat, truly sickening
Not grave-diggers or through illegal means, but desperate people, who've even already sold their organs for money, and sell even their corpses as insurance, for their family's sakes.
Shirou felt disgusted.
Emiya Shirou stepped into the kitchen, the battlegrounds for the next match.
Literal underground stadium, surrounded by fire, truly a image of hell
Hearing it from a far was one thing, but seeing it with his own eyes was something else, altogether
Shirou VS Saber-Alter (Corrupted Saber) with Jeanne-Alter (as her Sous-chef)
Shirou chooses regular ingredients
for once in his life, Shirou felt truly angry at this abomination and sacrilege against human
treating humans consumable tools,
enslaving people just to use them as meat and money,
hanging up their corpses as just mangled meat piles!
This kind of thing, could not truly be called cooking!
Yeah, for once in his life, Emiya Shirou was truly ANGRY!
"Trace..."
Dangerous edge to his voice,
"...on!"
Flashback
Archer - drug, sensitive, stimulates
Kotomine stimulate - limiting circulation to only the arm, by cutting off arm's blood circulation to rest of the body by 10 minutes.
And 10 minutes was the minimum time it would take to ensure that the drug didn't have any severely harmful effects on the rest on the body.
But 10 minutes was more than enough. If the drug itself weren't harmful enough - that would the killing blow. Being cut off from bloodflow for that long would undoubtedly cause necrosis to set it.
Would never be able to use that arm again.
It was a technique, not unlike a bomb. Only one use would be enough to break Emiya Shirou as a chef - he would never be able to step into a kitchen as a chef ever again.
But, that much was the price he needed to pay to be able to perform on Archer's level, novice chef as he was
Kotomine smirked.
He was clearly enjoying inflicting this sadistic choice upon Shirou
Ilya protests, but to no effect.
Shirou pats Ilya's head. This is something he needs to do, to save Saber (blackmailed, forced into wearing the black chef's uniform, eyes lifeless, clearly reluctant), and to save Ilya. Tohsaka, and Sakura, too - they were waiting for him.
He couldn't let them down. He would save them, all of them.
Shirou tells Kotomine that he'll do it.
Kotomine was surprised at his quick answer, having expected Shirou to brood on it some more. But, he grinned, satisfied with that answer.
Kotomine answers, very well. Well, respect your resolve, if nothing else. Even if extremely foolish decision.
And thus, Emiya Shirou put his entire life as a chef on the line, in order to save the girl he cared about the most.
End Flashback
...
Shirou and Saber Alter both prepared their ingredients.
Many large fish laid out before him
Chefs in sidelines and critics mock - no way he'll be able to prepare in time.
Shirou took off the light-blocking cloth on his arm, and closed his his eyes.
Archer's notebook - so deep and complex, so much knowledge, that he was barely even able to comprehend even 10% of it, no, perhaps not even 1% of it, even after looking through it and studying it all night.
All his experiences, the whole totality of his life as a chef was in that book - his blood, sweat, and tears.
There was no way that Shirou, as inexperienced and as amateur as chef as he was, would ever be able to comprehend Archer's abilities. Not as he was now, at least.
But,
Even then,
Deep in the furthest corners of Archer's notebook, there was one recipe that especially resonated Shirou.
It was a recipe that Archer himself had spent his whole life perfected.
The cumulation of his hope and his regrets.
And his one single, simple wish, to save the girl closest to him.
His final recipe, the Final Recipe of EMIYA Shirou.
Shirou closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.
"Trigger..."
Shirou opened his eyes.
"OFF!"
He prepared his knife.
"Nine Lives Blade Works: Slicing the Thousand Fillets!"
And in the next instant, Shirou moved.
And in the instant after that, he was done, snapping his knife back in one sharp movement, arm and knife extended out to his side.
And all the fish in front of him seemingly disassembled themselves in an instant.
Everybody is shocked.
"Wha - ?!"
"What just happened?!"
"I didn't even see him move!"
Even Kotomine was surprised, and whistled appreciatively.
"What speed..." He commented, mirthfully, And with such precision, too."
He smirked, "Truly, a good use of your life as a chef, Emiya Shirou."
Unlimited Culinary Works: Infinite Recreation of Recipes
Shirou makes sushi, white tuna, whale and chicken sashimi and salmon, purifying dish; milk tea, with pickled ginger and cucumber with drops of lemonade.
Fuyuki rice, unique strain only found in Fuyuki - with a unique fragrance and diluted lemonade to steam the rice.
Cumulation of all his efforts, into a single dish, purifying the tongue and the heart with each bite.
This was his "Avalon Food Works"
If King Arthur and Artoria like the Sun, and Jeanne like the Stars glimmering brilliantly in the night sky, then Shirou was like the moon that reflected the brilliance of their lights.
Like a knight serving his lord, no, like a samurai serving his master, shining in the moonlight before a bloody battlefield, castle in the distance.
Archer at his back.
"Have you finally caught up?"
Shirou smirked.
"Yeah. I've finally caught up to you, EMIYA!"
"Heh."
Archer turned his head away, but Shirou got the sense that he was smirking in satisfaction, as he faded away.
A cocky bastard until the end. Well, that was fine, too.
Saber Alter and Jeanne Alter take bites of his purifying dish
Saber Alter and Jeanne Alter become Saber Lily and Jeanne Lily
Somehow dying their clothes white, along with their hearts, in the process.
...
Final matches of the 5th Fuyuki "Holy Food Wars"
The ones with the right to the Grail, Sakura and Ilya VS Shinji
(Shinji isn't actually a bad guy here - but he does still want the grail for his own selfish purposes, to get out of the shadow of his ancestors, to become as a great chef in his own right through the usage of the grail. Meanwhile, Sakura and Ilya want to shut down the system altogether. When they first meet - Ilya is a little catty with Sakura at first, because she could see that Sakura very clearly has a crush on her older brother, even though Sakura thinks Ilya is super-adorable. But by the time of the match, they're good friends, and they get along well. And they defeat Shinji through teamwork.)
The finalists of the last holy food war, Zouken and Kiritsugu VS Kotomine Kirei
(Zouken is a good guy here, being a former sponsor, but wanting to dismantle the system after seeing how carrot it's gotten in the past 20 or so years, in respect for his already deceased friends from the Tohsaka and Einzbern families, whom he started this whole system with)
The finalists of this holy food war, Shirou and the newly purified Saber (and Tohsaka and Archer as support) VS Gilgamesh
(Gilgamesh is able to use any and every recipe/chef he so wishes, and Shirou's "Unlimited Culinary Works" is pushed to its limits as he challenges Gilgamesh. Archer only as surprise support at the end, the "finishing strike" to Gilgamesh's head, making him lose, swallowed by the crowds of angry dark chefs.)
Jeanne and the ultimate fate of the Holy Food Wars at stake, if Shirou and Saber and Tohsaka win, the whole thing will be put to an end.
Victory, happy end, much rejoicing, party (even Shinji and Kotomine are included! Kotomine makes some sly comments, Shinji just being a graceful loser, etc.), etc.
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Other background notes
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1. King Arthur (Artoria's long lost older brother, though neither of them know it) = British, and more broadly, UK and European cuisine.
Just one taste of his food is powerful enough to send any person over to Avalon (Paradise), and fill you with warm love.
Also a Christian, though not as openly devotional as Jeanne and Romani are.
Despite being around Jeanne's same age, he adopted her into his family, as her legal father.
2. Cu Chulainn = Irish Cuisine
His food is a surefire hit to the heart, the moment it hits your tongue.
No, in fact, just from the smell alone, it's almost as if it reverses the normal process of eating, and it's like his food infiltrates the heart first, before hitting the tongue. A truly fearsome chef.
3. A mysterious man, only going by Archer. Strangely, he also seems to have a certain "Trace on" ability that Shirou has, even though it should be a unique ability. Apparently, he spent the last 10 years working as a janitor at a black company known as "Alaya" that specializes in processing meat. A very cynical and nihilistic man, with a strange tendency towards suicide and a strange (mutual) loathing of Emiya Shirou.
He has the ability to instantly copy any recipes he observes to near perfection, and alter them to beyond their original tastes. However, the "altered" tastes only work once, mostly on surprise factor that elevates them beyond far beyond their normal level. Once the tongue becomes accustomed to it, it doesn't seem that much more impactful than the normal versions of the dishes.
Every one of his dishes is like an explosive arrow, shooting away at the heart's defense.
The top 3 are in a different league, entirely.
4. Kotomine Kirei, the Chinese food expert, though he occasionally dabbles in Russian food, as well. Well, he is supposedly a Chinese food expert, but all he's ever been known to make is Mapo Tofu and other very spicy Szechuan dishes.
He has taken several food tours over to the Szechuan region of China, but also strangely occasionally to Russia as well, under the codename of Rasputin.
Apparently, he also taught some Chinese martial arts to a few people in Russia as well.
His latest dishes, "Mapo Tofu Ramen" and "Mapo Tofu Borscht", are extremely popular dishes among the spiciness-lovers of Totsuki Academy.
A devout Christian, that also doubles as a priest.
5. Da Vinci (female), a comforting Oneechan-type Italian girl, that specializes in Italian cuisine. An unrivaled culinary genius that definitely deserves to be in the top 5, which are in a different league than those below them.
6. Doctor Romani Arcman, specializing in Middle-Eastern Cuisine, especially in restricting lost Hebraic recipes that were lost to time. He also doubles as the school's doctor, despite still being a student. A very knowledge man and formidable opponent. Like Joanne, he is a very religious and devotional person. Rumors say he makes contracts with devils, which he blatantly denies, or that he has underground ties and a body-double, a topic which he chooses to stay silent on.
Like his best friend Galahad, he also has an annoyingly lustful playboy of a father who showers him with unwanted affection.
7. Jeanne D'Arc, specializing in French cuisine.
A girl blessed with God's sense, who fasts constantly, in God's favor.
A very devout Christian.
Also know "The Maiden (Virgin) Saint of Totsuki Academy"
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Finally, unconfirmed whispers and urban legends about heinously rich and spoiled brat at top, as a hidden number zero, who bought his way there and tied up the academy's directors with his "Enkidu" contracts.
Legends say, in addition to being born into a filthy rich family, buying world-class chefs left and right to cook for him, and copyrights the original of any new recipe or ingredient he can get his hands on.
The Hidden #0.
Gilgamesh, a middle-eastern exchange student with copious amounts of money, that allows him to cheat, plagiarize any other chef's recipes, hire only the best quality of world-class chefs to advise him during his Shokugeki matches, bound by extremely restrictive chains, er, contracts, and buy only the highest quality of ingredients.
"The King (Copyright-Owner) of All (Chef) Heroes (and their recipes)."
The literal "golden-boy" (golden bastard) of Babylon industries, Major funder and heir to one of the founding members of of Totsuki academy.
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medea - connected network, could make use of associated and connections ("her leylines") in the grail war from her position as the head chef of the Ryuudou temple
Would prefer not to, though. Betrayed by her first husband, the Greek playboy Jason, who abandoned her after using her connections.
Is an expert in the "Polygamist-Castration Fist" style of Baji, which she learned from her friend, Tamano-Cat, who in turn learned from some strange Japanese priest teaching Chinese martial arts while she was on a trip when she was visiting her sister in Russia.
Gil knocked out by medea after harrassing a passingby Saber and Jeanne, eyes swirling - counting one saber, two saber (Jeanne), three saber...
... ... ... ...
Kotomine explaining Jeanne's "eroticism-spreading blessing" with a completely straight face
king arthur's food, like being slapped by Virgin Mary on cheek 100 times, then turning the cheek because want to be slapped another 100 times
previously had reached his peak with his "Caliburn" spice mix
but, after isolating himself on the high hills of wales for many years, out in nature, nothing but prayer and fasting, for 3 whole years, when he came back with his new "excalibur" spice, he was undefeatable, when asked the secret to his strength, replied saying only cryptically, that "a true prayer comes from the heart."
shirou sweatdrops, somehow sounded like a character from a completely different setting.
...
Funny Anecdotes
Zouken's Family Tree
Zouken's oldest and youngest sons fought over Tohsaka and Sakura's mom, ultimately the oldest came out victorious
fierce fight, like a battle between a cold-hearted and calculating Archer versus a hot-blooded and passionate berserker
Sakura born from secret affair from her mother and the youngest
Zouken almost thought about disowning, but changed his mind upon seeing Sakura's cuteness as a baby, softened his cold heart.
Shinji born from the middle brother, from a different mother
Zouken liked to spoil Sakura
gave her phallic candies since elementary school
got bullied by other kids over it, especially with Shinji as the ringleader, though Tohsaka defended her
Zouken, makes literal creepypasta, learned over in Russia
claims learned it from Anastasia herself, in some obscure and unknown lost-belt of Russia
probably just a joke, though, given the real Anastasia long-dead
(In truth, actually did learn from one of Anastasia's descendants, one that coincidentally just so happened to very resembled her ancestor)
often fed Sakura
tasted good, did taste good, and was very addictive, and was nourishing, but...
Well, at the same time, felt like octopus molesting body - like Hokusai painting
No, maybe more accurately like worms crawling through the skin and invading into the nerves
Shirou sweatdrops, this was just pasta they were talking about right?
doesn't exactly sound pleasant
Sakura laughed awkwardly and bitterly, avoiding Shirou's gaze, turning her head over to the side, eyes growing lifeless
Yeah...
Not exactly pleasant.
Shirou realizes might be touching on trauma. "Oh, sorry."
Sakura shook her head.
Story background notes (mostly just story background notes for my own reference)
Summary:
As his world famous chef of a father, Kiritsugu, left on a world tour, he left Shirou with a mission to infiltrate Totsuki Academy, Japan's most prestigious culinary academy, overseen by the kind Jeanne D'arc. Now, will the humble Shirou and his Childhood friend, Saber, be able to make it in? (*A world without magecraft, only cooking*)
professional-cooking = outwards (male-oriented) form of cooking, mostly occupied by men
home-cooking = inwards (male-oriented) form of cooking mostly men
however, cooking itself is more feminine in nature
thus,
professional-cooking = lesser external feminine (that which nurtures other people)
home-cooking = greater internal feminine (that which nurtures the self, family)
Cast
Kiritsugu = Jouichirou, famous chef that lost hope and purpose after being able to save people with food, saved by Irisviel, finding meaning and love in her
Irisviel = Kiritsugu's wife, often going on trips with him
Kiritsugu wanted to save people through food, but found himself only able to serve and being monopolized by the rich with his skills, and tied up by their contracts, and not able to bring happiness through his food to the poor or impoverished people across the world, like he truly wanted to.
In the end, he worked to serve the few to build up money to donate to the cause of saving the many, but at some point he started wonder what he was even cooking for. It was at that point that he met Irisviel, who saved his heart and taught him the true meaning and purpose behind cooking (his ultimate secret ingredient), and had a child with her, and he later even picked up the starving orphan Shirou, whose parents and house had been burned down, on one of his cross-Japan tours.
Shirou = Souma, inherited Kiritsugu's ideals of saving people with food,
Shirou has a very special "trace on" skill. The ability to copy any recipe or preparation method, just by looking at and tasting a dish. Perhaps his trace on skill is actually just a derivative of what lays hidden in his true internal world?
(*Unlimited Culinary Works: The Infinite Recreation of Recipes*)
Saber = Artoria, Shirou's childhood friend, likes being referred to by her self-made nickname, Saber, because she thinks it sounds sharp and cool. family from England, descended from long line of knights and supposedly even related to the Royal line themselves, though Artoria adopted (she herself doesn't know this). Her father is Sir Ector, an actual modern-day knight, as proclaimed by the crown of England, and her brother, Sir Kay, often teases her about her crush on Shirou.
Ilya = Shirou's little sister, one he is very fond of and hugs him a lot.
Berserker = A monstrous figure of a Greek man that suddenly appeared out of nowhere, one knows where came from, but he acts as a bodyguard for Ilya. Is very protective of Ilya, for some reason (in truth, because she resembles his own daughters that died in an unfortunate accident which he blames himself for, though nobody else knows this). Doesn't speak much.
...
