Disclaimer, I do not own Ratchet and Clank, and I do not profit by this work. All rights go to Insomniac and Sony.
Elephants in the Room and Where You can Stick Em
Soft music caressed his ears, expensive perfume assaulted his nose, and highbrow conversations from people with fat wallets and no personality killed his interest. This wasn't Ratchet's idea of a good time. It was a ritzy party in Megalopolis hosted by Captain Qwark. The reason for hosting the party was Ratchet's best guess. This normally wasn't his thing, but Rivet didn't know Qwark like Ratchet did and she wanted to go. So here they were. A boring ritzy party where the drinks were significantly less stiff than the people. To make matters worse, Rivet had gone off on her own leaving Ratchet to contend with Qwark.
"You know, I'm happy for you Ratchet!"
Ratchet braced himself for a grade A Qwarkism and smiled good-naturedly at the big oaf.
No idea what he's actually talking about and I'm fine with that.
"Well thanks for that big guy, that means a lot."
"Oh, I know it means a lot to you! After all, your species is saved from extinction!"
"Uh, how's that?"
"Oh ho! Ratchet!" Qwark slapped him on the back in an amicable manner, sending the Lombax crashing to the floor. Qwark then crouched conspiratorially close to the now prone hero and started to whisper (speak at normal volume.)
"Don't play innocent with me, I've seen the way you've been looking at her."
Ratchet stood and dusted himself off. Taking his leisurely time in ignoring Qwark and recovering his now spilled glass.
"Who's that Qwark?" he groaned after a spell, more upset by the lost beverage than Qwark's disposition.
Qwark's expression was that of amused disbelief more than anything else, but his smirk had an element that suggested that he was humoring the Lombax. This irritated the little hero to the nth degree. Be polite Ratchet, he's not trying to sell you anything yet.
"Why, I'm referring to your little female lombax friend! You know, a female of your species! A child bearing member of your race! An Eve to your Adam!"
Ratchet rolled his eyes at the primadonna, he was fairly confident that Qwark's heart was in the right place, but heart wasn't usually his deficient as much as raw brain power. Rivet wasn't interested and she had a whole life in another dimension to worry about, it wouldn't work out. They were similar but different people with different lives. Also, as much as he wanted to find out more about his species and see his race continue, he wanted what was best for him and Rivet first. She looked like she was enjoying her time in the spotlight while he had been trying to get out of it for years now.
"I don't think I'm her type, Qwark."
"Oh no! I've been reasonably informed that she has a thing for you!"
"Uh huh. This from your usual tabloids?"
"Oh no, my sources are much closer to the matter!"
Despite the fact that this was Qwark that Ratchet was dealing with here, doubt started to gnaw at his mind. Just what was this source? Ratchet and Rivet had spent most of their time together in either dimension and he hadn't seen anything that could be a sour-
Oh, it's just a rumor started by a two bit reporter, Ratchet. Qwark's probably trying to get some sort of promotional deal or get brownie points for helping save an endangered species or something.
"I'm sure he is Qwark."
"She, actually!"
"She?"
"At least I think she's a she? Can robots be shes and hes? I'm going to have to look into that one before I make another misconstrued comment at one of my university tours. Anyway, she's right over there!" he said while pointing over the Lombax's entire person.
Ratchet turned and saw the crowd of people enjoying the party but couldn't see who, specifically, Qwark was pointing towards.
Qwark turned down to the Lombax and flashed a victorious smile only to have it wiped off his face when he was met with an unimpressed Ratchet.
"Errr…"
"Hey big guy! Maybe you could describe who you're pointing at? Some of us are height challenged."
Qwark, to his credit, looked taken aback by the reality of height differences in species. However, it apparently made no impact to his sense of courtesy as he collected himself and picked Ratchet up, like it wasn't an incredibly patronizing thing to do, and resumed his pointing. Ratchet scoffed, but followed the trajectory of Qwark's finger point and found himself gobsmacked when it led to Clank and Kit talking on the other side of the room.
Ratchet dropped his glass, "Kit!"
"Kit! Yes! That's her name! That was what I was going to guess! Though I still think that Ilhira would've been a better name. Regardless, she's my source and she's informed me of Rivet's little crush on you."
Ratchet was too busy sputtering to be offended anymore, but between dropping his glass and being held up high enough to see above most of the crowd, he was starting to draw a fair bit of attention.
"But uh, but, that's not, I mean, she's not really er, what I mean to say is th-"
"Still don't believe me do you? Hey Kit!" Qwark yelled out over everyone's head. "Tell Ratchet that thing you told me earlier!."
With most of the room's attention captured by Qwark as soon as he started yelling, eyes started to shift towards the direction and person he was yelling towards. The shy unfortunate robot was now the center of dozens of stares from creatures across differing worlds and species. She immediately tried to minimize her visual impact by stepping behind Clank who was gracious enough to be her shield.
Kit pathetically muttered out, "This is so embarrassing! All I said was that Rivet's heart rate increased by 30 beats per minute when she observes Ratchet for any length of time."
"What!?" bellowed back Qwark, incapable of hearing the quiet embarrassed mutters of the little robot from across the room.
"She said River's heart increased when she looked at Ratchet!" a random party goer yelled out.
"Who's River!?" Qwark queried.
"I think they mean Rivet!" another random party goer yelled from the crowd.
"What about Rivet!"party goer #3 yelled out.
"Ratchet makes her heart big!" party goer #2 replied.
"That sounds unhealthy!" party goer #4 added.
"No! It doesn't make her heart big! It gives her palpitations!" corrected party goer #5.
"Heart palpitations are unhealthy!" asserted party goer #6.
"What are you a doctor!?" challenged party goer #3.
"Yes! What are you an ass?!" replied Dr. party goer #6.
"Citizens!" Quark interrupted, "Don't let this tale of same species love be a source of division! Because even though they may have stuck their noses up at all of us! Even though they are basically disclosing that they are too good for the likes of us! Who are we to judge those in love! In fact, as the head of The Preservation of Lombaxes and Platypuses Society, or the PLPS as I like to say, I think we should do all we can to show our support! After all, haven't we all been in love!"
Ratchet died.
He. Just. Died. This was low even for Qwark standards! What in the world was he expecting to even get out of this! Didn't Qwark know that Ratchet was going to get him back for this! If there was one thing that wasn't beneath Ratchet it was some good old pay back.
I am going to kill him!
Many of the party goers, who had just moments ago looked ready for blows, now stood in stunned silence. Then, one started to clap. Then another one. Soon, the whole crowd started to clap and cheer. Some of the members were drying tears, others were openly sobbing.
Qwark leaned closer to Lombax still dangling in his heroic grip and whispered, (actually whispered) "Thanks, voters love a candidate that cares about endangered species. I'll be re-elected in no time."
"Qwark!" Ratchet ferally growled out.
"Oh shush. I'm helping you out with Rivet, the least you can do is let me have this."
The big oaf had always been a source of grief for Ratchet, but this was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. Qwark had always had the decency of not letting his ventures exploit Ratchet's love life, or non-existent love life, but it looked like the gloves were off now. Though he wouldn't remember it at the time, a small (miniscule) part of Ratchet admired Qwark's predilection for not getting knocked down for long. That hadn't stopped Ratchet from freeing himself from Qwark's grasp and biting him, and it was certainly no comfort to Qwark as his yelp silenced everyone in the room. Now everyone was glancing quizzically at the Lombax, and from the corner of his eye he could see purple white fur and yellow metal alloys.
Just don't look at her.
Ratchet couldn't even make eye contact with her. He didn't know how much she heard, but if her hearing was as good as his then she would've heard everything. Even with that being the case, he'd still rather look anywhere, anyone, except her. She would see right through him, he was sure about that. She would see just how much it got to him.
Just don't look at her.
If Ratchet was feeling generous, he'd see that Qwark was only being Qwark, and that capitalizing on his friends had been par for the course since they first met. Ratchet wasn't feeling generous though. Did Qwark deserve the bite? Probably. But that was because he was an egotistical traitorous brute; his comment was the least of his offenses. Yet, it had buried Ratchet in a well of awkwardness and confusion more than was perhaps warranted.
Just don't look at her.
So what was an awkward and confused Lombax that had the eyes of every party goer fixed on him to do? He would try to escape with some dignity left and downplay the whole thing.
And just don't look at her.
"Ha ha, how right you are, Qwark uh about the uh thing you just told me about. Glad we had this talk. This uh one time talk! That we never need to have again! Ever."
Qwark moved to interrupt with an upraised finger, same stance as all the posters, but Ratchet wasn't about to let him have another word.
"Great talk Qwark, I'm getting some punch."
Whatever you do, just don't look at her.
"Oh! Grab a glass for you lady friend," Qwark belted out with all the subtlety a man of his disposition could possess, again causing the gaze of everyone in the room to reacquire Ratchet. Then Qwark leaned in, a fire in his eye that let Ratchet know that he hadn't forgiven the bite, and with a hand cupping the right side of his own face, he whispered (spoke normally,) "dames appreciate the smooth and subtle approach."
The blank stares, humorless smirks, and mocking chuckles he could take with the same stride he's always had, but there was a snowball's chance in hell she would take that sitting down. So he glanced, just glanced her way.
Ratcheted disintgrated.
Whatever his outside shell was, his inside was nothing but ash, burnt under the sweltering heat of an indifferent expression. No seriously, her expression was blank. No emotion detected whatsoever. He could've taken anything else, amused, annoyed, angry, but apathetic? No. A thousand times no!
Yet, no matter how indifferent the expression, it was fixed solely on Ratchet. Her eyes were on his eyes. They seemed more icy than normal but somehow it felt like it burned to look into them, so he looked away. He looked away and started to walk out of the room. He walked until he was exposed to the outside night air and the bustling nightlife of Megalopolis. He was on a balcony, again ritzy, overlooking the city. It was still being rebuilt in many places but things had effectively gone back to normal.
He spent a few moments just taking this in, taking note of the works-in-process and the finished buildings. He realized that he was already calm, his anger had given way to something else, he didn't know what. Maybe seeing the city put itself back together was reminding him to be grateful for what he had, mess and all.
He smiled to himself. He had been through worse, and biting Qwark was something he would never let the big fake live down. So Qwark was using you for political gain. Big whoop. Maybe this will convince Rivet to never take Qwark up on any of his offers ever again.
"Ratchet?"
He knew that voice. He turned and saw Rivet shuffling awkwardly behind him. He opened his mouth but he didn't know what to say, he couldn't look her in the eye. She was looking anywhere but him. He swallowed and managed to get out, "Hi Rivet."
"Hi, uh Ratchet."
"Yeah, hi."
A silence fell for the breath of ten seconds as both Lombaxes looked for what to say.
"I think-" they both said at once.
Their eyes met in mild surprise, which to Ratchet was already a source of relief. Finally, some emotion!
He chuckled and gestured for her to continue. With a smile of her own, she jerked her robotic thumb behind, "I see why you didn't want to come to this thing."
"Well that wasn't the exact reason, I just thought it would be boring."
"Looks like you were proven wrong then."
"I don't think I would call this exciting either."
"What would you call it then?"
Ratchet paused before answering, aware of just how loaded the question was. "I think, uh, unexpected would be the best word to describe it."
She nodded in response but said nothing. She looked uncomfortable again as she stared at her boots. Ratchet didn't know what to say or do so he kept his mouth shut. A few seconds passed before Rivet looked up and spoke, "Hey Ratchet, can we talk?"
He swallowed, "Uh, sure Rivet. What's up?"
"Um, you know the thing they were just talking about with Kit and the, uh, whole heart thing?"
"Uh yeah, you're not mad at Kit are you?"
"No! She was just under pressure, besides she'll be so apologetic that I can pretty much do whatever I want for the next month and she'll keep her mouth shut."
He laughed, he couldn't help himself, "A Lombax after my own heart!"
She hummed at him, an amused smirk adorned her face before it sobered up.
"What Kit said was … well, it was, uh, well it was true."
"..."
"Ratchet?"
His mouth was dry and his heart felt like a rock band. He had no idea what to say. Was she saying what he what he really thought she was saying?
"I don't know if you feel the same way but, uh, I like you, I think you're a real hero, and you're really cute and super selfless, and honestly, I've never been happier since you've come into my life, and uh, Ratchet! Please say something here!"
Ratchet realized he was staring with his mouth agape like a fish. He also realized just how nervous Rivet was at present. Her eyes were pleading and her body stiff with anticipation. What am I supposed to say to that!
"Rivet, I…"
"..."
"I…" He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath to settle his heart. When he released his breath he opened his eyes and found Rivet with a disappointed look on her face.
"You don't need to say it Ratchet, I get it."
"No, Rivet! It's not like that! I … I just don't know what to say. I guess I feel a little ambushed here. I wasn't exactly expecting this."
She nodded and met his eyes again but this time with a more determined look on her face.
"Do you have any feelings for me?"
"Rivet, I … I don't think you should feel obligated to like me just because I'm another Lombax."
"I never said that. I like you for you. Don't feel the same way?"
"No Rivet, I do! I just … I think you're beautiful and breathtaking, courageous and … No, you know what? You're braver than me! You're the bravest person I know, and I would be the luckiest Lombax alive to be with you but …"
"But?"
"I don't know. I just think that with this whole "Last of our species" thing hanging over our heads all the time we won't be able to have a normal relationship. It's always going to be the elephant in the room. We'll always be under a lot of pressure t- wait!"
She had grabbed his hand and was pulling him with her as she marched back inside.
"Wait, where are we going?"
"We can't be in a relationship while we're the last of our species?"
"Well I didn't mean it like th-"
"Then we're going to the Lombax dimension and finding the rest of our species! Clank! Kit! We're leaving!"
A/N: Thanks for reading! Let me know about any errors both grammatically and Lore/World wise. I'm kinda new to the site so any tips or suggestions will be appreciated.
Cheers,
Karl
