This is one of those filler chapters to set up where we go next. Snow isn't going to go away anytime soon, and David refuses to let his baby girl be swayed. Sides are taken, and Emma's battle with Hook gets pushed aside in favor of protecting her love.
TW: Character Death. Talk of murder and children. Also implied harassment and a smidge of implied SA. Very brief.
Regina found Emma outside on the balcony. Her apartment - it was more like a loft because it had two floors but there was no need to get technical - was quaint and cute in all the ways that the mansion wasn't. The balcony overlooked most of the town, anwhich was part ofhy she decided to get it. Yes, it was an impulsive decision, but Regina hadn't been in the best state of mind. She'd been lonely. During the time Henry hadn't been talking to her, he was staying with Ruby at the Bed and Breakfast, and the mansion echoed her loneliness. She needed something different, so she got the apartment as a break from the norm and hoped that one day Henry would join her. And he did, eventually. When they realized the smaller space worked for them, they made it more of an official spot. Before Emma and her men got there, Regina couldn't remember the last time she'd even been to the mansion, let alone inside it.
There'd been no reason to go back.
But Regina never imagined having Emma there. It was like a dream. She couldn't shake the feeling that she was going to wake up one morning and Emma would be in another realm, Henry would be spouting his True Love speeches, and the hole in Regina's heart would still be empty. Yet there Emma was, dressed in Regina's clothes with her hair still wet and curled at the ends, and plenty of tattoos and scars on full display. With the sun hitting her straight on, and the clouds free from the sky, the sight before her was more intimate and beautiful than anything her mind could've created.
"You have a poor habit of staring at me, My Queen."
Emma looked over her shoulder, and Regina couldn't find it in herself to be embarrassed. She folded her arms and leaned against the door.
"You are the only person who can call me that without making me uncomfortable."
"Why is that?"
"It feels different when you say it, is all."
Emma pushed away from the railing and walked to Regina. She stopped close enough to touch but not to crowd, and she caressed her cheek, saying, "I imagine that while I use it as a term of affection, many once used with derision."
Regina shrugged one shoulder and grabbed Emma's wrist, tugging her hand away from her face and intertwining their fingers. Emma stepped closer, and Regina looked up at her.
"When you terrorize a realm, the names people call you tend to be, at the very least, derisive."
Emma kissed the back of Regina's hand and said, "One thing I find fascinating about the human race is that we will tear one another down until there is nothing left, yet somehow still manage to be surprised when someone rises from the ashes and gives tenfold what they were given."
"I don't think my actions fall under that category."
"But they do. Yes, you have blood on your hands that will never wash away. But you were not the only monarch to warrant such hostility. You were the easiest target. What of King Leopold and his high taxes that almost sent his entire kingdom into poverty? What of Midas and George and Stefan? Those men who slept with girls younger than their daughters and paid off the families' silence? What of the men and women who did terrible things in the name of goodness and innocence?"
"I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the people. They were the innocent ones."
"Were they?"
"Of course, they were. They didn't deserve anything I did to them."
"But they did. They turned on you at their earliest convenience. They threw every good thing you did for them back into your face. You mourn and grieve the lives of those who would have traded places with you in a heartbeat, yet they would not have had the strength to get up each morning and make the best of it. As you did."
"You think murdering and destroying villages is making the best of it?"
"I think you could have done far worse."
"And cursing an entire realm to another universe to take away their happy endings?"
"They live, breathe, and are still able to eat."
"I murdered children."
"So did I."
Regina blinked at that, and Emma kissed her way up Regina's arm. Regina tilted her head to the side when Emma got to her neck. Except Emma didn't do anything but brush her lips across Regina's skin until she reached her ear.
"It was in Agrabah. There was a group of boys, much younger than Henry, attacking an older woman for her coins. I remember grabbing the closest one and throwing him into the building. The sound his body made once he hit the ground will never leave my mind."
"Do you regret it?"
Emma stood up straight again and glanced to the side. Regina reached up and played with one of her curls, and Emma looked back at her.
"Not in the way you think. I do not regret my actions that day, as I saved that woman's life, but I regret not having spared their lives. I took no pleasure in killing them. Just as you took no pleasure in your actions either."
"Not the children, no," Regina admitted carefully.
"Oh?"
"Surely you can understand why I felt pleasure in killing the others."
"Maybe, but I would like for you to tell me in your words."
Regina dropped her hand and made an aimless gesture. "I don't know. All I remember was this combination of excitement and happiness and freedom when I did what I did. Sometimes. But I," she paused, "enjoyed watching their life leave their eyes. I liked it when I had to bathe their blood from my skin. I loved being responsible for their terror, and I loved when they were so afraid they couldn't say my name. I needed to kill if only to prove that I wasn't weak. When they called me a monster, that's what I was. What I still am."
"You say that as if it is a bad thing."
"Emma."
"What? If you are a monster, then be a monster. I have never claimed to be anything but what I am."
"You know it's not that easy."
"But it is."
Emma snapped her fingers, and a dagger appeared in her palm. It had 'E.T.S.' carved into the hilt, and Emma tapped the blade against Regina's cheek.
"Name someone in this town," she said. "Not Henry, Ruby, or your Granny."
"She's not my - never mind. Emma, this is ridiculous. Whatever you're about to do is -"
"Either you do it, or I will. I have no emotional ties to anyone, which means I can pick without discrimination."
Regina was tempted to call Emma's bluff, but then she remembered who Emma was raised by, and she rolled her eyes. So, she said the first name that came to mind.
"Albert Spencer."
Emma disappeared and reappeared seconds later with Spencer bound and on his knees. Spencer, once he saw Regina, started shouting and squirming, and Emma flipped the dagger so that the hilt was facing Regina. Regina's eyes widened, and she stared at Spencer. He glared back at her, and Regina was taken back to a moment before the curse when he got too handsy at the Fall Festival and told her the only way she'd have real power in the town was if she started making the kind of deals that only someone like her was good for. She remembered when he cornered her meeting after meeting and created some excuse to go up to her office, even when she continued to say no. She remembered when he would pin her against walls and rub himself against her.
But after the curse, he avoided her like the plague as if he didn't torment her for the better part of five years. He pretended as if he wasn't the reason why she had stopped having meetings in her office. He thought she was only a threat when she had her magic, and that without it, she was vulnerable. Easy. Regina tried shaking off the thoughts swirling in her brain, the ones she locked away when Henry came into her life, but they weren't going away. She didn't even see Emma vanish the gag until Spencer spat at her feet.
"I knew those rumors were bullshit. You will always be an evil and spiteful bitch-
Regina blinked and glanced down. The hand holding the blade was slowly turning red from the blood pouring out of Spencer's neck. She was hilt-deep in his throat and had the perfect angle to watch as he slowly choked to death. Regina never looked away as his eyes glazed over, lifeless, and she was slow to pull out the dagger. His body fell sideways, yet before he hit the ground, Emma had disposed of his body. Where she sent him, Regina didn't know nor did she care.
"Feel better?"
Regina brought the knife to her face and licked the blood from the blade, catching Emma's eyes in the process. Emma walked Regina back into the door, and the angle made it so that the door handle dug painfully into Regina's back, but that was the last thing on her mind.
"Is this what turns you on?" she teased.
"Everything you do affects me," Emma murmured.
"I see."
Regina dragged the tip of the knife down Emma's forehead, over her nose, her lips, and across her neck only to repeat the process. On the second time down, Emma stuck out her tongue and caught the tail end before Regina tossed the dagger to the side. But when Emma leaned down for a kiss, Regina put her hand against her chest and pushed her back.
"You are still on punishment."
"Seriously?"
"Did you think giving me a warm body to kill would make me weak-kneed enough to open my legs for you?" Emma hesitated in answering, and Regina snorted. "I will admit that I am tempted to break my promise, but I am a woman of my word."
"How unfortunate."
"For you, yes."
Regina slid back into her apartment and pointed to the couch.
"Sit."
"Yes, your Majesty."
Regina snickered at the petulant tone and said, "You are acting like a child."
"You have denied me the one thing I have waited years for," Emma whined. Regina arched an eyebrow, and Emma quickly added, "Not that it is the only thing I want from you, of course."
"Nice save. Sit."
Emma sighed and went to sit down, and Regina went into the kitchen. While she was gone, Emma busied herself with staring at the pictures on the wall. She smiled at the different shots of Henry, noting that in most of them, Regina wasn't there. But based on the look on Henry's face, Emma had the distinct belief that his mother was the one behind the camera, capturing every moment. Regina returned with two drinks, one that was clearly whisky and the other something dark, and she placed them on the coffee table. As she sat down, Emma grabbed Regina by the hips. She pulled her sideways into her lap and placed one hand on her thigh, and the other around her waist. Regina let out a soft puff of laughter against Emma's cheek before she took the hint and got comfortable.
Emma kissed the side of Regina's head, and Regina let it slide, taking pleasure in the rare softness of the moment. Then she stretched to the side and grabbed the glass of darker liquid, handing it to Emma.
"What is this?"
"Rum."
Emma perked up and took the glass, and Regina propped her head on the couch.
"You should know that I rarely drink rum that did not come from my father's stash," Emma said.
"But?"
"If it comes from you, I am willing to try."
"There are no words to express my gratitude," Regina deadpanned.
Emma winked and sniffed her drink. Her eyes widened, and she took a sip. Then her face brightened, and Regina started laughing.
"Honestly, Captain. You forget that your father frequented my banquet halls more than any other pirate. He was very specific about his food and drink, and I made it a point to always have that rum in my collection. I stumbled across it my first year here, and I guess it was out of sentiment I purchased it. There's more of it in this realm than our old one."
"Fewer pirates to drink it all."
"Good point. Anyway, I never opened the bottle until now."
"You do not like rum?"
"Absolutely not. If I do drink hard liquor, I prefer whisky. Red wine is my drink of choice."
"Your loss."
Regina rolled her eyes, and Emma happily finished the drink. Regina took the glass once it was empty. She set it on the table and shifted so that she was facing Emma directly.
"Are you ready to tell me why you are here?"
Emma's good mood soured, and she said, "Snow visited my ship today."
"And?"
"Her presence stirs up emotions I thought were non-existent."
Regina worked through that statement in her head. When she figured out what Emma was trying to say, she thought very carefully about her response. There was a small part of Regina that knew that no matter how hard Emma tried, she wouldn't be able to ignore that small piece of her heart that would need closure with Snow and David. But Emma was annoyed by the entire thing, and Regina needed to tread carefully.
"May I ask why this is bothering you?"
"Because I have to know the reasoning behind her giving me away. Surely it was more than a stupid prophecy. Surely the woman who gave birth to me did not take so much stock in the words of a fairy that she ignored her maternal instinct. It vexes me to have no other explanation, to go so long believing that I was worth nothing more to her than a key to a future that may or may not happen. And now that she is in my life, making this effort, there is a very, very slim piece of my heart that wants to hear her out."
Regina inhaled, exhaled, and then she reached for her drink. She took the time to finish the glass and place it back on the table. She was stalling. She knew that, and Emma knew that, but it wasn't a conversation that could be rushed.
"My Mother was an awful human being," she said. "Cora was emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive to me for most of my life. She only tried to make amends when the damage had already been done. When she discovered my soul mark, it was as if she changed. She sent letters instead of seeing me in person. She never got close enough to touch me. She isolated herself from me, yet no matter the distance between us, I craved her presence. I needed her around because regardless of the abuse and the hurtful words, she was my Mother. I loved her." Regina pursed her lips and added, "I still do. So it makes sense that the little girl inside of you wants to know why her Mom gave her away. You were abandoned, Emma, and then you went through trauma no child should experience. Of course, you want answers. You have a right to those answers. There is nothing wrong with that."
"Then why do I feel as if I am spitting on the legacy my father left me?"
"Blackbeard himself would tell you the same thing I am telling you. Your father was a cold and distant man, but he had a heart like everyone else. And he loved you, which means that he would have told you the truth, regardless of the situation or outcome. You know that. Your wanting closure with Snow doesn't make you any less of Blackbeard's kin, nor does it make you a Princess. It makes you human."
"I do not want her in my life."
"No one is telling you to get tea with the woman and braid her hair, Emma. I'm telling you that Snow owes you, and you have every right to want to collect."
Emma tightened her grip on Regina, inadvertently pulling her closer, and she hid her face in Regina's neck.
"I want you there with me whenever I arrange the meeting."
"Naturally."
Emma snorted and bit Regina where her mark rested. Regina let out a low moan and tangled her fingers in Emma's hair, yanking her head back. Emma smiled cheekily, and Regina glared at her.
"If you continue to push your luck, your punishment will get longer and longer."
"Very well, your Majesty. I will refrain."
"I doubt that, but the warning was made."
Regina let go of Emma's hair and checked her watch.
"We have a couple of hours to spare. What would you like to do?"
Emma hesitated but said, "If it is alright with you, I think I might need to sleep. Those realm jumps are starting to catch up with me, and I noticed earlier I was sluggish toward the end of my last fight."
"When was the last time you got actual rest?"
"Outside of when I slept at your home? Maybe a few weeks before that."
"I see. We can sleep then."
"We?"
"Yes, we."
Regina wiggled and untangled herself from Emma's grasp to lay back on the couch. She pulled Emma down on top of her and magicked a blanket for them. She made sure Emma was covered, then she summoned a pillow from her bedroom. When she was settled, she glanced down at Emma, who was already half-asleep.
"Better?"
Emma hummed and shuffled up until her head was right over Regina's heart. Regina barely set the alarm before Emma's soft snores filled the room, and she flicked her wrist at the curtains. The room was doused into muted darkness, and Regina followed Emma to sleep. There were still conversations they needed to have and continue, but the best part about finding your soulmate was the fact there was an eternity to catch up on. And a couple of hours of sleep wouldn't change that.
