"SIR, WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE?" The angry human in a military uniform spoke as he was face to face with Anubis and Tock, his eyes glowing red with rage as his friends stood behind him, with Heavenly being in his cacodemon form, holding a damn 128 liter bottle of beer, Grouse holding an assault rifle in his typical Dallas appearance, Bing having a javelin missile launcher in his arms, and Skulker holding his soundboard, as he played a 'Bruh' sound effect. And then, behind them, would be the entirety of the Cadian XXth and Ignis corp, plus Soviet Womble and his friends, including Rimmy Downunder and Rubixraptor, as they simply looked at each other with confusion in their eyes.

"Calm yourselves, humans! I am Anubis, lord of the dead, and I have brought you here in the omniverse's most desperate hour!" The human's red glowing eyes slowly faded as he tensed up.

"Uh, guys, I think we had too much to drink, the hallucinations are back."

"No, I'm quite real." Heavenly dropped his keg. And Geuce coughed up his water.

"An organization called Deadlight is toppling universe after universe. I ask that you help us to aid in stopping whatever they're up too." The man looked towards his crew, then towards Rimmy and Rubix, who were still confused as fuck before looking back.

"What's in it for us? You should know we have a certain price for stopping terrorists." With a wave of his hand, a horde of treasures suddenly appeared behind her, as all the humans looked on greedily, but they still weren't convinced, so he waved his staff, as a horde of weapons, tanks, helicopters, explosives, rockets, and ammunition spawned within the treasure pile. "Oh fuck yeah, you got a deal. Alright boss, what's the plan?" He said, as he whipped out a gun. "Well, I might have to fuse you all with the Fume Knight." Anubis said, his staff glowing. "Hold still."


It all started 2 years ago, when the continent of Equestria appeared in the Pacific Ocean And with it came the barrier, a wall of magical energy that was harmful to almost all living things in our world, however, The Princesses of Equestria came up with a 'solution' of sorts. Through a combination of human nanotechnology and Equestrian magic, they were able to create the ponification serum, a liquid, which, when ingested turns human beings into ponies allowing them to survive the Magic radiation, dubbed "thematic radiation" by scientists. They set up locations known as "Conversion Bureaus" across the globe to help. A human could walk in and get converted completely for free. However, as is human nature, not all were willing to just hand their humanity over to a race of aliens. And as such, rival factions soon began to form. On one side, there was the HLF or Human Liberation Front, violently xenophobic, whiny brats who can't accept that they aren't alone in the universe, and hell bent on wiping Equestria off the face of the earth. On the other side of the spectrum there was the PER or Ponification of Earth for humanity's Rebirth, hell bent on converting all humans into ponies, regardless of whether they wanted it or not. Most sided with neither. And for most life went on as usual, and the world just kept getting worse and worse. That would all end soon.


It was a mostly quiet day in the sunny neighborhoods of northern Tennessee, the exception being for one particular house. The residence of one Father and Son. Yes, those are their actual names, it sounds crazy, but it's true. They were anything but normal, they were known as the Bread Boys, for their fanatic obsession with bread. They were originally a pair of crusaders from the 12th century, however, due to a freak accident, a blessing, or both. They were made immortal. However, they could not be more different from one another, Son was always interested in whatever new 'Fad' was going on in society, be it anime, taxes, or whatever other nonsense the world cooked up. Father on the other hand, preferred to do things the old fashioned way, reacting to any new societal developments the same way every time, with pure immeasurable violence and that "Stomp it out" crusader attitude, usually directed at his son. Once Father had discovered firearms back in the 19th century, there was really no going back. For the last 2 years they had gone about their lives the same way as they always had. However, that was all about to change Son had just finished his homework and had decided to spend the rest of the day watching tv. He grabbed himself a baguette from the fridge, and sat down on the couch, He grabbed the remote, and turned on the tv, It automatically went to world news, and he was about to change it when he saw what it was about. He leaned in closer.

"The Barrier is set to make landfall on the coast of California within a few days, so all you newfoals out there, get ready!"

"What do they mean by newfoals?" Son thought to himself. The next thing on the tv was an ad for a Conversion Bureau.

"Equestria's getting closer every day, head down to your local conversion bureau before it's too late! Brought to you by the Equestrian Royal Monarchy!"

"Ok, this needs further investigation." Son pulled out his phone and typed in "Conversion Bureau" and what he saw horrified him, as the X-Squad jumped out of his phone.

"Hello, fine crusader, it appears we've been sent to your realm, what is the cause we need to aid?" Gandalf said.

Unfortunately, Father had heard the tv and commotion from the basement, and came charging up the stairs, shotgun in hand, barging into the room with the fury of God himself.

"Son, turn that heresy OFF!" Father raised his shotgun and racked a shell in.

"Wait, you need to see this, it's important!" Son turned up the volume of the tv. And Father sat down next to him, shotgun still gripped tightly in his chain mail gauntlets.

"Son, why is there a horse talking on the tv!?"

"That's what I was trying to tell you about!"

"You didn't answer my question, what is that THING doing on the tv?" He got back up and raised his fist.

"Father, sit down, And keep watching." From what he could gather, these colorful horses were slowly replacing humanity with their own kind.

"Unacceptable!" He threw a kitchen knife at the TV. "What did you do that for!?" Son cried, "The TV didn't do anything!"

"It was showing heresy." responded Father.

"What do we do now?" Asked Son.

"Nothing, I'm hungry." responded Father. "We're going to eat first." He walked over to the fridge, and opened it up. But as he looked from shelf to shelf, his helmeted face grew dark.

"Son, where's the bread?" Son looked nervously back at the bread crumbs that now littered the couch and the crumbs on Hosshiwa's mouth. He could feel the sweat dripping down his face.

"Oh, that was your last ration?" Hosshiwa said. "Welp, time to eat each other and hope we don't turn into wendigos."

"Hey, Chef! Get the barbecue sauce out!" Spaulding said, as Hell's Chef immediately pulled out a keg of sauce out.

"That was for both of us, you HERETIC!" Father punched Son in the helmet, knocking him out cold.

Father dusted his hands off. "I'm going to go get some more bread, alright?!" He yelled at his still knocked out son.

"Um, sir, your son's unconscious." Namakelder said, shocked by what Father did, but the squad followed him still, needing to know more about this world.

He walked out the front door, and down the driveway. "Now, how do I drive? Son usually does this stuff." He sighed. "I guess I'm walking!" The squad took off down the road towards the nearby safeway.


A brisk 40 minute long stroll later...


Father walked into the Safeway's parking lot with the squad following him, he realized something. There weren't half as many cars as there usually were.

He walked through the front door, stopping only to yell at the automatic door.

"Open! I command you! Open!" One of the employees rushed over to him.

"Sir, That door doesn't open that way."

"Oh, I see how it is!" He grabbed the 2 doors and pulled them apart by force. He walked into the Safeway, grabbed a basket, and began looking for the bread aisle. He had been here before with his son many times. He finally made it to the bread aisle, and found it replaced with...flowers? Namakelder walked over to the nearest employee he could find and picked him up by his shirt collar.

"Where's the bread?" He asked, his voice contrasting with his aura, which radiated pure unbridled surprise (which was construed as fury) at being deceived. The worker looked at him in terror.

"It's 2 aisles down! Can you please let me go!?" He was practically sobbing at this point. Namakelder dropped him. "Thank you, now, please explain to me why there's HAY AND FLOWERS in my bread aisle!?" Father demanded.

"We were just trying to diversify, what with those Ponies and all." Without saying another word, Father turned, and walked down towards the bread aisle. As he did, He saw something blue and fuzzy enter the isle which he had just left.

"Hmmmm..." He walked into the bread aisle as the squad spread out to find food and supplies for the trip ahead as Voidlon, Taeko, Julie, Zap, Roman and Neo, Edda, Scaramouche, Spaulding, Hibiki and Kanade followed him, and began to shovel loaves into his basket as the squad went to grab some pizzas and garlic bread, as well as candy sticks and Kool-Aid, as he reached for another bread loaf, he found a blue hoof had grabbed it at the same time. He looked at it with anger, his gaze shifted up, and he found the hoof belonged to a light blue earth pony.

"Uh, hi there sir, you don't mind if I have the las-" The pony froze when he saw the soulless gaze of Spaulding staring him down. The poor newfoal could practically feel the sadism radiating off him.

"You're one of those talking horse things I saw on TV!"

"Well, I suppose I am. P-Please don't call me a horse." Spaulding continued staring at the pony.

"Sir, you look like you got plenty of bread already, could you please let me have the last one?" Father growled again, as he grabbed the bread loaf from the pony's hooves, and stuffed it into his basket. He pulled his shotgun out and dramatically racked a fresh shell.

"Please sir, I don't want any trouble, we can work this out peacefully, right?" Father leveled his shotgun at the newfoals head.

"I wish I could still swear." The pony turned and galloped as fast as he could towards the exit, Spaulding fired his gun, the red-hot shot DRILLED into the newfoal's skull and the blood splattered everywhere. Then, the squad made it to the checkout station.

"Alright, here's the bread." Father handed the cashier the basket, who in turn began to check them out one by one.

"You seen any good movies recently?" Asked the cashier.

"No, I'm not a heretic, you'd have to ask my son about that."

"I saw Jaws 2, pretty good if you get past the irritating amount of people with no sense of style yapping away." Voidlon said.

"Well how about conversion? I'm getting it next month, I can't wait, I hope I get turned into a unicorn." Father looked at the cashier with disappointment.

"Anyway, The total's 45 dollars." Father reached down into his pockets and pulled out 2 gold coins.

"Here you go." The Cashier looked at the gold with amazement. "Are these real?" He turned back to see Father and the squad walking back out the door of the safeway. It was already dark outside when he got outside. He didn't care. He pulled out a loaf of sourdough and began to devour it as he walked back home.

"SON BETTER BE AWAKE WHEN WE GET BACK!"


The squad and Father walked home in the dark. As they walked up to the front door, He swore he could hear what sounded like...laughter?

"NOT IN MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!!" He raised his leg and kicked the door off its hinges, he pulled out his shotgun and barged into his house, ready to execute his son for his heretical behavior. He dropped the bread basket at the doorway, and barged into the front room.

"Hey there dad, I'm just reading." He held up a copy of King Author and the Knights of The Round Table.

"Oh, Good. GO TO SLEEP! ITS 10:30 FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! Oh, by the way, I bought some more bread, don't eat it all this time!"

"Dad, I'm 722 years old! I think I can decide when to go to bed." He turned back to see Father gone. He just got back to reading.

Serval hours later...

Son was almost finished when the book, and he got off the couch to go treat himself to some of that bread Father had just bought. He turned to see the distinct figure of Fathers helmet peering out from behind the curtains, eyes glowing into the moonlight.

"Father, what are you doing back there?"

"GO TO SLEEP!" He shouted back.

"Alright, fine, gosh." Son walked upstairs to his room, and fell unconscious on the bed. All the while Father kept standing there, waiting for his son to come back out.

The next day...

Son got up off his bed, and walked downstairs to find Father with his templar kitchen apron on, along with the squad cooking, a baguette and a sack of flour in hand.

"MORNIN SON, HOW'D YOU SLEEP!? I've been experimenting with this new thing called, 'Flour bread', see?!" He held out a piece of toast, covered with a fine dusting of flour.

[Hello Son]

[we're having brekkie]

[JOIN US]

[NOM NOM]

"I slept...ok-"

"Great! Sit down and eat!" The 2 of them took their seats at their dining table, along with the squad, and began to devour their so-called 'Flour toast.' When they were just about finished, Son heard a beeping noise coming from outside, and Father noticed it as well.

"Son, what's that sound?"

"I don't know, let's go find out." the gang peered outside and looked next door to see a moving van next door. Its back door was open.

"Looks' like we've got new neighbors!" The squad and crusaders kept watching through the window. What they saw next angered both of them. A green unicorn, a grey pegasus, and a white pegasus hopped out of the truck, and began to unload the back. Father looked back at Son with burning hatred.

"Son, why are the colorful horses moving next door!?"

"They're not called horses, they're called ponies."

"What!?"

"Ponies, like you know, miniature horses?"

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE CALLED!?"

"Because of the news? You watched it with me last night remember?"

"GRRRRR!" Father smacked Son in the arm with the butt of his shotgun. He turned back to look at the ponies unloading their things.

"What should we do?" Asked Son.

"Maybe go and meet them, they can't be that bad right?" Akaza suggested.

"Uh, If you say so..." The gang walked across the street to meet their new Equine neighbors.

"Uh, Daddy, those humans are walking over to us."

Well, I'm sure they just want to welcome us to the neighborhood!" The 2 pegasi dropped what they were doing and hurried down to meet them. The grey pegasus approached Father.

"HELLO THERE, WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD!" Father shouted at the Newfoal.

"Why hello there, you're a loud one aren't you? My name's Onyx, that over there's my daughter, Cloud Sweeper, and that back there's my wife, Ivory." The 2 of them stopped and waved at the squad and Father and Son.

"PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, I'M FATHER, AND THIS HERE IS SON!"

"Hi, we're the X-Squad." Voidlon introduced, not wanting to draw attention.

"There's no need to yell like that, I can hear you plenty with these ears of mine." Onyx chuckled. Father growled back at him. And turned back to see Son looking at the white one with dreamy eyes, who in turn was blushing. He grabbed Son by the neck.

"WE ARE LEAVING!" He roundhouse kicked Onyx in the muzzle, and carried Son back across the street, dumping him on the hardwood floor.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WHERE YOU DOING BACK THERE!?!?!?!?"

"Uhh, I was just going to ask her out on a date. Wait, FATHER WHAT ARE YOU DOI-!" Fathers' eyes began to glow red. He unholstered his shotgun, and blew Son's head clean off. "By Don Thousand, you're twisted." Voidlon said, chuckling. "I like it."

"Heretic!" He walked back over to his bread, and kept eating. All the while, Onyx had been watching the whole thing from the cold sidewalk of his front porch, Muzzle bleeding.

"Cloud."

"Yes, father?"

"I want you to help them."

"Ok!" She sped off towards her new bedroom.

Several more hours later...

"Owww... what happened?" Son came down from his bedroom, clutching his still aching head. One of the perks of having an immortal family, you can kill each other as many times as you want, and no one will ever care!

"I see you're up, the rest of your food's waiting for you on your table, I have to go downstairs and... train...and do research!" He picked up his great sword and walked downstairs to the basement, locking the door behind him. Son sat back down at his spot at the table, and finished consuming his loaf of bread. Just then, He heard a knock at the door, and Father came running back up from the basement like an angry pitbull. If pitbulls could operate firearms, that is.

"Son, open the door!" He did, and found Onyx and Cloud Sweeper standing there.

"Hello there, just wanted to say I forgive you for hitting me earlier. My daughter was wondering if she could have your Son over?" Father thought back to the other times He had "caught" Son with other girls.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT HIM FOR!?"

"Oh, Nothing much, I just- Heard he's into books, I've got a collection of them that I got when we went on vacation to Equestria, I was thinking he might enjoy them."

"Hmmm, Son, get down here!"

"I'm right here dad, I heard the whole thing." Father ponied at the white and yellow mare.

"SHE WANTS TO SHOW YOU SOME OF THEIR BOOKS! Nothing heretical right?" The 2 pegasi looked at the Bread boys with confusion, and nodded.

"ALRIGHT THEN, BE BACK IN ONE HOUR!!!!" Son walked outside with the 2 pegasi and entered into their house.

"YA KNOW, I'VE GOT A BAD FEELING I'M GOING TO NEED TO GO SHOPPING FOR MORE BULLETS AFTER THIS!!"

He watched the 2 pegasi as they led Son into their new house.

Twelve hours later...

"WHERE'S SON!?!? HE SAID HE'D BE BACK BY NOW!!!" He jumped off of the couch, and stormed across the street.

"Oh shit, you think the horses got him?" Roman said

"HEY! NEW HORSE-PONY PEOPLE, WHERE'S MY SON!?!?!?!" He didn't get any response. "THEY MUST HAVE TIED HIM UP!"

He rushed over to the side yard fence gate, pulling out his sword, he cleaved the lock in half, and rushed into their backyard as the X-Squad readied their weapons.

"What the hay are you doing in our backyard?!" Onyx came running outside. He gazed up at the angry figure of Father, greatsword in one hand, and deagle in the other, along with the X-Squad, grinning menacingly.

"WHERE'S MY SON YOU PIECE OF HORSESHIT?!?!??!!?" The Pegasus began nervously sweating.

"Please, there's no need for that kind of language, I just sent him back over to your house, I even sent him home with some bread loafs which we got from Equestria a while back, you said your into that kind of thing, right!?"Father looked at him sternly.

"Alright... have a nice evening!" Father began to slowly walk away.

"You too sir!" Just then, Father stopped, and without warning charged the pegasus, jumping clean over him, he clamped on to the side of the house, and scaled it like a spider. He jumped up onto a window sill on the second floor, and kicked in the glass. Inside he saw that...what was her name again... Cloud Jumper...no that's not right, ah yes, Cloud Sweeper, and next to her was a dark red pegasus, flexing his wings, wearing Son's helmet. An empty bottle lay at the bottom of the bed nearby, bits of sparkling purple liquid dripped out of it.

"AHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!" Both of the pegasi turned to look at Father.

"Oh,-" Father raised his .50 Cal desert eagle, and mag dumped all 7 rounds into the red pegasus's head, splattering blood all over the room. Cloud Sweeper just sat there on her hunches, witnessing the whole thing. She fainted right there. Father slammed a fresh magazine into his pistol and approached the pegasus.

[HOLY SHIT]

[is Son turning into a furry]

[might as well be]

[daggum]

[shoot dang]

[insert clever exclamation here]

"Well, we know where Son is." Taeko snarked.

"No, Please! We only wanted to help your son, She just wanted him to be happy!" Onyx and Ivory came storming into the room. Onyx looked at the dead pegasus on the ground, then back at Father. Ivory reached into her saddlebags, and pulled out a vial of the same weird purple liquid. She tossed it at Father. To her surprise, it merely bounced off his helmet.

Father's eyes began to glow a deep red, he took aim at Ivory with his pistol, and fired a round at her as the squad rushed to Onyx to tear him apart. Voidlon found himself being grabbed by Onyx, Desperate to save his family, he grabbed Voidlon by his coat, and took off into the sky.

"HEY FUZZBALL, LET ME GO!!!"

"No, Celestia told us to treat others with kindness, but you've pushed me too fa-" Onyx was cut off when a shotgun shell blasted his left wing off. Sending both him and Voidlon tumbling out of the sky. Voidlon landed on Onyx, breaking a rib as he slowly pulled out Onyx's teeth one by one, making the pegasus scream in pain before Voidlon slit his throat with Deep Night, silencing the pony forever. Standing at their front porch was Son, clutching the family's "Backup" Shotgun. "You're welcome!" He shouted at Father, who growled back at him. "We never speak of this again, UNDERSTAND!?!?!?!?"

[Should, should we have even watched that?!]

[Maybe put a content warning next time!]

VoidBot: [Can you blame boss? He did have to, y'know, SAVE SOMEONE FROM BEING DRAGGED INTO A CULT]

"Yes Father, sorry about the whole... Pony thing."

"First thing in the morning-you know what, right now, We're going to California to fix this problem for ourselves!!!!"

He slammed Son's head into the wall, knocking him out cold. and charged back into the other house, Intent on..."Putting down" The other 2 which he had left alive.

"I'm BACK!!!!!"


Eventually...


"GIVE ME BACK THAT SHOTGUN!"

"Father, This is the backup shotgun, you still have yours."

"I KNOW, YOU HAVEN'T EARNED IT YET!" He yanked the spare shotgun out of Son's hand.

"But, I just saved you!" Father didn't answer back.

The squad walked back inside and slammed their still broken door behind them.

"Father, there's a problem."

"WHAT!?"

"You don't know where California is."

"Well of course I do!" He walked over to their front room, and pulled out their world map.

"THERE IT IS!" He pointed at Israel.

"Alright, first, that map is about 300 years out of date, second, that's Israel. California is... well, here." He pulled out his phone and pulled up Google Earth.

"It's right here, see?" Father squinted at the screen.

"What is this!?"

"It's uhh... Google Earth. I've told you about it before, remember?"

"Ohhhh..., that's that web browser thing of yours, right?" Son looked back at Father with confusion and threw his arms in the air.

"No, it-You know what? Let's go to bed, We'll continue this tomorrow."

"NOT A CHANCE! JUSTICE NEVER SLEEPS, FIND US A WAY TO GET TO CALIFORNIA! It's time for another crusade!" Father ran down to the basement to grab more ammunition for his shotgun. All the while Son just slumped down on the couch and fell back asleep.


Serval hours later...


After searching around their basement, Father, had finally finished finding the spare shotgun shells, under a stack of comic books no less. He stormed back upstairs to find Son asleep as usual.

"WAKE UP!" He hit Son's head with the butt of his shotgun.

"Alright, alright, I'm up!"

"Pack your things, we're going to Reno!"

"Wa? How do you know where Reno is?"

"Used that Google Earth thing you mentioned earlier!"

"Father, That was 6 hours ago."

"OH REALLY SLEEPING ON JUSTICE ARE YOU NOW!?!?!?!? GRAB YOUR SWORD, WE ARE LEAVING!"

"I'm hungry."

"Well... here you go!" Father ran over to the fridge, pulled out a slice of bread, and tossed it to Enn.

"THOSE WHO GOT SNACKS, EAT IN THE CAR!"

"Yes Father." Son grabbed his sword and car keys, and the 2 of them stormed out of the house towards the car, ready to save the world But before they had gotten to the car, a Black SUV pulled up to the house and 2 men stepped out of it.

"Hello, we're with the Human Liberation Front, we're here in search of some PER operatives, have you seen them?" Father and Son looked across the street at the now abandoned house of their former equine neighbors, and shrugged.

"Nahhh..." The HLF Agent looked over at their weapons.

"You're sure packing a lot of firepower there, where you heading?"

"Where going to Cali-" Father put his hand over Randall's mouth.

"We're going on a CRUSADE!!" He lifted his sword up. The HLF agents continued looking on in humor and sarcasm.

"Well...where to?" One of them asked, still snickering.

"MINI HORSES!!!" Father shouted out.

"Ahh... Hey, The HLF'S always looking for new recruits, what do you say?"

"Wait, Father, isn't the HLF those genocidal psychopaths?"

"I DON'T REMEMBER A DAMN THING, ARE YOU SURE SON!?" One of the HLF Agents began nervously sweating, and he wasn't quite sure why.

"What do you mean by genocidal psychopaths, we're trying to save humanity!"

"Hmmm, They're lying Father."

"ONE THING I HATE MORE THAN ANIME IS LYING!" He right hooked one of the agents with his fist as Void sliced the first agent's gut with BlueBlaze, the intestines and liver falling out as the agent screamed in pain as he bled out.

"Son, start the DAMN car!!!" The other HLF agent drew his sidearm. Of course, Father wasn't going to have any of this nonsense, he whipped his shotgun around and shot him in the side as Roman shot the SUV, which blew up, killing the other two HLF agents.

"Let's go!" Son shouted at him. Father turned around and got into the side seat.

"UH, SON, WHERE ARE WE GOING!?"

"The airport!"

"The what now!?" Father continued yelling at Son as they drove away.


About 30 minutes later...


"Son, Why are you turning off the freeway? The sign says the airports that way!"

"Father, That's the international airport, we can't just walk in there like this!"

"Don't care, turn back around!"


Another 15 minutes later...


Their black Toyota pulled up in front of the main entryway, and they jumped out and made a mad dash through the doors, setting off the metal detectors in the processes.

"Hey, stop!" They spotted a security guard running towards them. But rather than surrendering like sane people would, they turned and ran for the nearest terminal.

"Son, which one!?" Roman asked.

"Uh, Look for one labeled California!" They turned over to find a stewardess running past them.

"Hey, you! Person, Where's the flight to California?" She looked at the 2 armored and armed crusaders, along with the squad, in terror.

"Uh, there are none. Since the barrier made landfall, all flights into the state have been canceled, please don't hurt me!"

"Where's the closest one?!" asked Even.

"Uh, There's one to Reno, 2 terminals down."

"THANK YOU!!!" Father pushed her out of the way, and the 2 of them ran for the terminal, only for the plane to take off.

[uh okay everyone think!]

[what do we do]

[lie down and wait for the barrier to consume?]

[besides that, you moron!]

MistressofAllEvil: [Wait a minute…]

FlamingHot: [What are you planning now, Malef?]

MistressofAllEvil: [Shut up, I'm thinking. You see that hunk of metal over there?]

Yarhar: [The terminal? Yeah, why?]

Jafar: [Oh, I believe I know what's happening.]

MistressofAllEvil: [Yeah that's right. Everyone!]

"What is it, chat?" Rebecca said.

MistressofAllEvil: [You ever watch Super Mario 64 speedruns?]

[the squad's about to be tool assisted]

"Yeah, actually. What does that have to do with…" Hajime trailed off, looking over at the terminal before his eyes went wide. "Holy fuck, you're kidding me."

SeaWitch: [As much as Maleficent's become a bullshitter and meme lord, she ain't kidding. Get hopping, we'll do the rest!]

"I'm not sure if you're crazy or a genius."

OogieBoogieMan: [You'd be surprised how often those two traits overlap. Get hopping!]

The squad walked up to the terminal and turned around, crouching. Despite how stupid Son felt doing this, he was going to give it a shot. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Inhale, exhale.

Then the squad long-jumped backward.

[you're kidding me]

[the crazy idea is to long jump backward?! this isn't a video game!]

[just shut up and watch! it's working somehow!]

"Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo!" The squad chanted, jumping backwards into the terminal. Slowly, they gained momentum, his movements becoming faster and faster. "Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! YAYAYAYAYAYAYA--"

"WHAT'S THAT? WE'RE-- WHAT IS HAPPENING? IS THIS-- ARE WE COMMITTING HERESY?!" Father screamed, as Son dragged him to the terminal and told him to follow what he does.

"YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAHOOOO!!!" The squad screamed, releasing all the built up momentum. He punched straight through the terminal, moving so fast that the cameras could only register them as a brief blur before they disappeared from sight. They flew across the airway out of the glass, blitzing past everyone, killing people and ponies with the shockwave.


Several more hours later...


Father was staring at everything like a little kid, after all, the last time he had flown (in an airplane) was when he moved to America, 90 years ago. When he spotted a flock of pegasi outside the plane they planned to board.

"Mommy look!" One of the little kids in the row in front of him was waving at the pegasi, who spotted him and waved back.

"GRRRRR, Unacceptable!" Father raised his shotgun and was about to pull the trigger when Son stopped him.

"Father, they kind of need that window."

"FINE!" He directed the DIY fireball towards the pegasi.

"Wa-How are you doing that!?" The pegasus looked on with amazement, and the others flew over to join him. Father's eyes began to glow red again. He let out a terrifying battlecry that they could hear even over the roar of the jet engines. The fireball hit the pegasus dead on. Knocking the first one out of the sky. The others darted out of the way.

"I don't think this is a normal human!" One of them shouted in terror. Father redirected the fireball, and finished off the other 4 pegasi.


A few more hours later...


"SON, WAKE UP, WE'RE HERE!!!" He slapped Son on his helmet.

"Wa? Oh..." He got out of the crater they crashed in and walked out, following Father.

"HAVE A NICE DAY!!!" Father shouted back at the still bewildered passengers, and the pilots. The 2 of them ran as fast as they could onto the edge of the airfield, until they came to a barbed wire fence. Son drew his sword, and tore through it like a french baguette.

"GOOD WORK SON!!!! NOW, WHICH WAY!?" Son looked west, and spotted a massive shimmering purple dome.

"Uh, that way, I suppose?" Hibiki said, guessing that's where the Grid Gear is.

"WELL LETS GO!!!!" The squad took off towards the Nevada/California line. They kept running, hopping over fences, running through traffic lights, and completely disregarding the safety of the remaining humans. They noticed almost as soon as they had left the airport that the majority of beings living there weren't even human. About 90 percent of them were ponies. Of course, Father was not in the slightest happy about this. He raised his shotgun at one of them, but Son stopped him.

"Uh, Father, you should save your bullets' for the main event." He gestured to the enormous barrier of magic in the distance.

"GOOD IDEA!!" He drew his sword and shield, and changed into a nearby casino.

"RAHHHH!!" He kicked in the door, stabbed the security guard nearest to him, And charged onto the game floor.

"Wait, are these gambling cards?! THAT'S A SIN, AND HERESY!!!!!" Father shouted, as he joined the X-Squad in killing people left and right, human and pony. Just then, he overheard a group of people talking about going somewhere called "A Conversion Bureau."

"HMMMM, WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE!?" His memory clicked back to the tome Son had first told him about this all.

"That's where they make them!!" He stopped stabbing and slashing for a moment, and ran over to the group, grabbing the first one by the shirt collar.

"WHERE'S THIS CONVERSION BUREAU YOU SPEAK OF!?!?!?!?"

"Uh-It's just down the road, about a mile from here, please don't kill me!" Father dropped him, and charged back out of the casino as fast as he could. He bumped into Son on the way out.

"There you are! Let's get out of here!"


"Son, everyone, I found out where the conversion bureau is!"

"Well, let's go!" The squad ran out of the casino. And towards where the delinquent had said the bureau was. as they ran down the street, Son spotted a group of pegasi flying high above them, wearing saddlebags. they looked around to see a group of humans running down the street in terror.

"Why are they running!?" The squad looked down the road to see a cloud of purple mist expanding across the street. Any human that breathed it in fell to the ground and began to change into a pony.

"Father, what do we do!?" Father raised his shotgun, and took aim at the saddlebag wearing pegasi in the sky, and pulled the trigger.

"DAMNIT, THEY'RE OUT OF RANGE!!!" He looked to see Son running away.

"GET BACK HERE!!!"

"No thanks, I've dealt with this stuff before, I don't want to get turned into one of them again!"

"AH, you'll be fine!" He grabbed Son, and walked straight into the purple mist.

"HMMM, SMELLS LIKE GRAPE, I HATE GRAPES!!!" When he made it to the other side, he looked over at Son, instead he found a very confused looking dark red pegasus. He raised his sword and sliced its head clean off. 2 minutes later, Son came walking out from behind a nearby building, clutching his head in pain.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!!!"

"AHH, You're fine! That Conversion place is only a few blocks from here!"

"Wait, what about them?" Snatcher pointed back to the assortment of confused newfoals stumbling around in the street behind them. Father put his shotgun away and "took care of them" so to speak with his broadsword. They continued running down the road, until they finally arrived at the conversion bureau. Father walked in through the front doors, and stepped into the lobby. The squad looked around to see an assortment of humans and ponies alike, some standing, and some seated. Father's eyes began to glow red again. He slowly walked over to the front desk.

"Hello there! Welcome to the Reno bureau! We're more than happy to tak-" The white unicorn mare looked up at the ominous figure of Father, shotgun in hand.

"YOU ARE AN ABOMINATION IN THE EYES OF THE LORD!!!!" He grabbed her by the mane, put his shotgun to her head, and pulled the trigger. Then turned and smashed through the doors leading deeper into the building, Son and the X-Squad on his tail. What followed next could only be described as a massacre. Security guards from all over the facility rushed to meet Father, only to be gunned down, stabbed, or both. He grabbed a shotgun from one of the dead guards, and tossed it to Son.

"Really, You're letting me have my own?"

"YES, NOW HELP!!!" The squad, weapons raised, charged on the second floor, and burst into one of the ponification serum storage rooms. He drew his 40mm grenade launcher, and fired a round into it. He turned and charged back down the hallway, Son covering his rear.

Finally they made it to the last room.

"Son, care to do the honors?"

"Yes!!!" He kicked in the steel reinforced door, and stormed in. They found a group of ponies and partially converted humans hiding in the back.

"P-Please don't kill us!" They were practically crying at this point.

"Uh, Father, some of them are kids, what do we do?" Father groaned.

"Fine, I suppose you can go. BUT SWEAR TO ME RIGHT NOW THAT YOU WILL NEVER, EVER, TRY AND HURT ANY OTHER HUMANS IN ANY WAY, EVER, AND THAT INCLUDES TURNING THEM INTO MORE OF YOUR OWN!!!!!" They fearfully nodded at him and scurried out of the room.

"Now, which way to California!?" Father kicked open the window, and threw Son out of it, the squad followed Father as he jumped out.


Son hit the ground with a groan, Father landed on his feet.

"C'mon!" He grabbed Son by the shirt collar and pulled him up. They turned and charged off towards the California border, after about 20 minutes of running, they made it to the freeway, which they found empty.

"Dad, I'm tired!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT, KEEP WALKING, THAT HERESY ISN'T GOING TO GO AWAY ON ITS OWN!!!"

"Ugh, Fine!" He dragged himself behind Father. They continued walking through the desert towards the Sierra Nevada mountain range.


About 20ish minutes later...


They had just entered the mountains and gazed up at the barrier. Even for them, it was pretty impressive.

"Son, have you ever seen a scraggly lion with a black mane and a large scar over one of his eyes?" Mera asked.

"Yeah, why?" Son asked.

"Because you're not the only one," Taeko said, gesturing over to a large elephant skull.

Nestled between the two enormous tusks was a lion exactly as Mera had described. The lion looked up from chewing on a meatless bone to see what all the fuss was about and immediately tensed up upon noticing his humanoid guests.

"Relax, we come in peace," Voidlon said as he walked over to the lion. "Name's Voidlon Shingetsu, Prince of Barian , soon to be top tier fashion designer, and servant of Anubis, Lord of the Underworld, hey and how ya doin'?"

"Lord of the Underworld, you say?" The lion asked fearfully. "Have you come to deliver me my final judgment for escaping death?"

"No, nothin' like- Wait. Escaping death? Back up the cart now!" Voidlon said.

Scar trembled slightly in the face of Voidlon's surprise, but he maintained his regal composure. "Oh did I say escaping death? How silly of me! Well, you see, I just had a... ah... slip of the tongue, nothing more. Of course I'd never dream of cheating death."

"Wasn't born yesterday, furball," Voidlon said, wagging his finger. "Tell me the story NOW or I will start turning up the heat."

To punctuate his meaning, Voidlon shot a small streak of fire from BlueBlaze into a nearby pony, causing its head to fly off as Voidlon blew the tip of his gun. Scar laughed nervously.

"You make your point rather vividly," Scar replied. "Very well. After my encounter with a strange lion from the stars known as Pete, I found myself split into two forms, one in which I could feel nothing but gained powerful magic to battle against Sora, the second in which I was but a ghostly darkness that could congregate into a larger and more monstrous form to shake the ground."

"A Heartless and a Nobody, I see," Even remarked. "Go on."

"Both forms were destroyed by a meddlesome cub named Sora," Scar explained. "Yet once my second form was eliminated, I found myself whole once again. Simba had already taken back my kingdom, and my hyenas had fled from the Pride Lands, so I slipped away and hid out here to make plans to reclaim the throne. Next thing I know, I was here."

"Oy vey, it's that Heartless and Nobody recompleted loophole nonsense again," Anubis said with a groan as his spirit self appeared. "I gotta see to it that the Lords of the Underworld get that loophole closed. I swear, it's costing us more souls than it's worth..."

"As luck would have it," Roman chimed in, addressing Scar personally, "that lion you encountered, Pete, is a lower on the echelon member of a terrorist organization that had an interest in this world, well, before Anubis sorted them out and stuffed them in the digital plane, and given your previous alignment with the cause, we would be amenable to sharing the spoils of our victory in exchange for your aid."

"And what exactly is your interest in this world?" Scar asked as he rose to his feet and began to pace around the area. "Pete and I had an arrangement that he would have free reign to amass soldiers for his army of Heartless from my subjects in exchange for my use of their powers. Is this to be a continuation or something new?"

"Call it a spiritual successor, pal," Voidlon said, earning a groan from everyone but Yang, Yuina and Taeko, who chuckled at the pun. "Ya see, this world is connected to three others by a magical portal system. Ponies ring any bells for ya?"

Scar groaned. "No, unfortunately. But some children with skateboards aligned with Simba and foiled numerous schemes I'd devised before assuming the throne. I thought them long gone."

"Ah, but the pathway they used to arrive in this world remains," Ridley pointed out. "We seek to get rid of those ponies, by any means necessary."

"Block out the meddlesome," Scar added with a grin. "That would give quite the advantage. But how do we accomplish such a feat?"

"Well, the details are a bit of a bore," Voidlon explained, sparing Scar an overly technical explanation. "Suffice to say, we've a means of finding the path."

"Very well," Scar nodded. "Tell me what we must do..."

"Dad, please tell me we're not going in there!" Father shifted his gaze back at Son with disappointment. He turned back and continued walking forward. Just then, they heard a voice call out from above them.

"Hey there! I couldn't help but notice you were headed towards Equestria!" Father looked up at the pegasus and flipped it off.

"Have some of this before you had on in!" The pegasus tossed down a vial of ponification serum. Father caught it in his hands, took one look at it, and crushed it.

"Are you sure about that? Humans and magic don't exactly mix we-" Father took aim with his shotgun and pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, the pegasus flew out of the way and headed straight for the barrier, and safety, or so he thought.

"After him!" The squad, Scar, Father and Son chased the pegasus for about half a mile, and Son began to notice something strange.

"Father, I feel strange..."

"It's probably those peanut things you ate earlier!" The pegasus stopped just at the edge of the barrier.

"Have fun melting!" The pegasus shouted in a disturbingly happy tone, before turning and diving into the barrier, the squad stopped at its base.

"Well now what do we do!?" Son cried out.

"FOLLOW HIM!!!"

"But-"

"NO BUTS!!!" Father grabbed Son, and shoved his hand into the barrier.

"OWWWW!!!" Son pulled his charred hand away.

"HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU HOW!!!", Father stepped forward into the barrier, his foot made a crackling noise, he just shrugged and walked through it. Son could hear a distant "AHHHHHH!!!" coming from Father.

Meanwhile on the other side of the barrier...

Father stepped out onto the green grass on the other side, and looked around. "Smells like barbeque!" He looked down to see that he was burnt, just like the squad, only they were burnt a bit.

"Ohh..." He looked back to see Son and Scar emerging from the other side. On fire.

"AHAHAHAHAHA!!! HELP!!!" Son dropped to the ground and began to frantically roll around while Scar desperately flopped around like a fish, trying to snuff the flames.

"GET UP!" Father grabbed Son and Scar and pulled them off the ground, still smoking a bit. they turned to look at the beautiful scene in front of them.

An enormous lush meadow sat sprawled out in front of them, and beyond that a forest.

"You got to give it to them, this is pretty nice." Father looked back over at Son and backhanded him over the helmet.

"What was that for!?"

"You're right, it is beautiful... LET'S BURN IT!!!" Just then that same pegasus that had taunted them earlier came flying over. He stopped in mid flight, and stared at the smoking forms of Father and Son, dumbfounded.

"B-But how!? Celestia told us that humans couldn't survive here!" Without saying another word, Father raised his shotgun to the sky, took aim, and pulled the trigger. This time, the pegasus wasn't quite fast enough. Father scoffed at it, and the squad continued walking towards... Where again?

Father and Son sped through the forest, clambering over boulders and jumping over tree logs, crossing meadows and rivers until finally, at last, Mount Caterhorn came into sight.

"Uh, Father? You see that mountain in the distance?"

"YES!? What about it?"

"Well, when those ponies turned me into one of them, I had visions of that place... I think it's their capital."

"Well then... CHARGE!!!" The squad sprinted off toward the base of the mountain. They eventually made it to the base of the mountain.

"So, how do we get up there?" Roman asked, as they looked over to see a road leading up to the top.

"Ohhh..." Father saw it as well.

"HELL NO, WE'RE CLIMBING!!!" All of this commotion did not go unnoticed. Drawing a crowd of newfoals, equestrian natives, and Royal Guard.

"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN-" The Guards looked on at the 2 crusaders' with confusion.

"BUT-" They were cut off when Father drew his sword and charged at them. Hacking the 2 dozen unfortunate ponies to pieces within the span of 50 seconds. Father dusted his hands off.

"WELL, LETS GO!!!" Father grabbed hold onto the cliff face, and began to scale it. Son tried to follow as best as he could.

"RAGHHHH!!! WHERE ARE YOU SONS OF-" Father clawed his way over the edge of the cliff face. To find no guards whatsoever.

"Huh, Those cowards must've run off! Get up here Son!" Son pulled himself up, and the squad charged into the city.


Meanwhile in the Royal castle.


Princess Celestia had had a long day, dealing with newfoal delegates and mulling over the kingdom's problems, she was about ready to rest when a guard pony ran through the door.

"Your Majesty, There's a band of humans, monsters and a lion outside the city walls, and they have weapons! What do we do?" Celestia's eyes widened.

"Wait, did you say humans?"

"Yes. Right outside the city."

"Gather the Guard, see what they want, and ask them how they're still alive."

"Yes ma'am!" The pony gave a quick salute, and ran off.

"Uh, Father, those ponies are walking toward us. What do we do?" Father growled at them, but let them approach.

"Greetings, Celestia would like to see you." Father let the pony approach, until they were practically eye to eye.

"Sir, Did you hear me-" The pony looked down at his chest to find a blade protruding from it. Fathers eyes flashed red, and the squad let out a roar of bloodthirst and blindly charged the army of ponies. The squad crashed through the gates of Canterlot and began randomly killing ponies left and right, So much so that Son was able to leisurely stroll into the city behind him encountering almost no resistance whatsoever. All the while Celestia was watching from a balcony high above the city, witnessing in shock as the squad mercilessly tore their way across Canterlot, potentially to overthrow her and ruin her rule over Equestria. She spotted one of her lieutenants flying towards her. Face dripped with blood and sweat.

"Your Majesty, They're tearing our forces to pieces! What do we do!?!?! We tried everything, magic, crossbows, swords, even conversion serums, nothing's stopping them!"

"Get the Elements Of Harmony." She turned back to the lieutenant, just in time to watch her explode in a shower of blood, fur, and, feathers. Followed by distant insane laughs and the sound of gunfire.

All the while the squad continued the attack, He finally made it to the gates of the royal castle. Completely ignoring them, he leapt over the walls, and charged through the gardens. Son on his tail.

"All forces fall back and protect the princess!!!" Father heard this, and rushed over to the unicorn who had shouted it, grabbing him by the tail.

"WHAT PRINCESS!!?!?!?!"

"I'll never tell you anything dumb ape!!" Fathers eyes flashed red, and the pony began to shiver in fear.

"Alright, They're that way, please don't kill me!" Father tossed his body off to the side.

"I HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD SINCE THE LAST GREAT CRUSADE!!!!" He charged into the castle. Tearing through the doorway, he rushed down the hallways, tearing apart statues, and cutting down royal guards ponies wherever he found them. He turned a corner to find Son sitting on the ground, petting a pegasus.

"So, your boss yells at you as well?"

"Yes."

"Wow, we're not as different as I thought."

"SON, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" He raised his shotgun to the pegasus's head.

"Wait, dad, he said he hates his job, can he come with us?" Father stared into the blue pegasus's eyes.

"Please sir, let me come with you, I hate my job anyway. They converted me with the promise that I'd be able to live worry free, instead they just made me guard this bucking palace." The pegasus pulled his helmet off.

"Please dad?"

"Alright, he can come with us, BUT GET IN MY WAY ONCE AND I WILL TEAR OFF YOU FUCKING WINGS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!??!"

"Y- yes?" He scrambled to his hooves. "Name's Everfree by the wa-" He looked off to see the 2 crusaders charging off, as Anubis came to teleport to the OVDF headquarters.

"Wow, they sure have short attention spans. Eh, still better than my so-called "Friends" in the guard."


The X-Squad continued deeper into the castle, until they came to the gates of the throne room.

"You sure they're in there?" asked Mera.

"I can smell the heresy from out here, I'm sure of it!" He kicked open the door, knocking the door off its hinges.

Cadance grimaced as Flurry Heart wailed into her coat. She wanted so badly to rock her to sleep, to sing her a lullaby, but being cast in the Dungeons for treason left the de-horned alicorn with little room to work with.

Peering through the anti-magic bars of her cell, she could see Royal Guards rush through the halls, shouting about reinforcing the flanks or some such nonsense. It sounded like Canterlot was being invaded, and the activity proved such.

'Good,' she thought, glaring at the gold-clad ponies. 'We deserve it for starting this holocaust.'

Just when it seemed as though the last of the Guards were leaving, the ones before her cell stopped, addressing the last pony she wanted to see.

"C-Captain Armor, sir!" they said.

"G-G-Guards, get o-out, now," the Captain stuttered.

Cadance gasped in horror at the sight of her ex-husband.

His armor was dented in several places, a giant gash across his left eye while his left hind leg was dragging uselessly behind his limp trot.

"Sir, we need to get you to the infirmary!" one of the Cadets shouted.

"No! We n-need ALL available p-po-p-ponies to evacuate the r-r-r-residential area while special f-f-forces intercept the invasion f-f-force!"

"We can't just leave you here like this!" another said. "We need to-"

"GET OUT!" Shining said.

The recruits dashed out of the hallway, and for a moment, there was silence.

"C-C-Cadance," Shining said, limping towards her cell. "I... I-I'm sorry..."

Cadance blinked before her expression went stern.

"For what? For abandoning your empire when Celestia called? For standing by that tyrant when she spouted a bunch xenophobic propaganda? Or for abandoning your wife and daughter when they needed you the most!? She took off Flurry's horn, you psychopath! She magically neutered our eight-month-old foal!"

"YES, OKAY!? I'm sorry for all of it! I regret everything! I wish I could change it, but it's too late!" Shining Armor shouted before collapsing to the floor, wailing through the bars as tears and blood ran from his eyes. "I bucked up! I bucked up horribly and I couldn't see it! And now not only has the specter of death come for all of us, but also a band of hellions, and all we can do is delay the inevitable! All I can do now is... say sorry! I can't fight those... those, THINGS! They slaughtered countless Guards in Canterlot, on Earth, tore their way through the castle, and now I KNOW they're coming for me!"

Cadance froze as she cradled her daughter.

"What?"

"Yah-yeet!" A man's voice called.

CLANG

A shield slammed against Shining Armor's head, the edge colliding with his neck. Although the force wasn't enough to penetrate the skin, it dug in and snapped a vertebrae, decapitating him internally. As Shining Armor's head fell limply to the side, all Cadance could see in his eye was regret.

Cadance screamed, backing up into the corner of her cell as she pulled Flurry Heart closer to her barrel.

Stepping into view was not only a diverse band of monsters, but also a human wearing black armor that looked like it was forged in a volcano, as well as a massive behemoth of a human, wearing a bloodied jacket and sports mask of some kind. It turned its gaze from Shining's corpse to Cadance, or more specifically, the crying bundle of fur in her forelegs.

The inside of the Fume Knight armor was like the inside of a AC-130J Ghostrider, as well as loud and quite busy as Badger's friends were seen manning their stations, with Skulker operating the communications radio, Mickey at the TV, Grouse loading the 105mm cannon for the right arm, Pasta working the Bofors 40mm cannon on the left arm, and Heavenly helping regulate the temperature of the 25mm rotary autocannon, located in the chest. Badda was seen loading a new Laser Tracking Missile. Sitting at the front in the cockpit were Digi and Bing as they were piloting the armor and keeping it steady enough to rain down hell on the enemy below. At the center of all of it was Badger, standing beside Mickey looking at the TV screen.

"Hey, we're here to save y'all." Badger spoke through the Fume Knight, as Jason put a small tube of formula through the gates.

"HEY PRINCESS, COME TO FATHER, YOU COWARD!!!" Father found the remaining guards hiding behind a snow-white alicorn, the princess.

"Welcome humans, we have been waiting for you, we still believe that you can be saved, we are giving you this opportunity to join us." the six colorful jewels the alicorn wore lit up, Father raised his shotgun and pulled the trigger, only to find it clicking on empty.

"That... thing cannot save you now." Father drew his sword and shield, and charged at them. He was met with a blast of rainbow colored light, he planted his feet firmly, and raised his shield, the blast hit it.

"Son, Help!!!" No response came.

"SON!!!!" Celestia watched on with mild amusement.

"Silly mortals, you can't stop the magic of friendship!" Just then, she felt something cold and hard against her muzzle.

"DAMN YOU BRA-" Son pulled the trigger and a slug tore through the left wing, causing her to drop to the floor in pain.

"GOOD WORK SON!!! Now, for that thing I showed you." Father put his shield away, and both their hands began to glow bright orange, the princess stopped, and watched in horror as the X-Squad assembled the Drake Jawslammer, with the Fume Knight's swords and Jason's machete, as well as Father and Son's swords, as the energy went into the weapon.

"DRAKE JAWSLAMMER, DARK BLAZE!" An explosion rocked the entire castle.

"Now, for your judgement, by the hands of his holiness, Anubis' Legions." Brandon said to the now scarred Celestia, trying desperately to fix the broken elements of harmony, as he snapped his fingers.

For a moment nothing happened, until….

"Time for teletubbies!" spoke a voice from a submarine telescope-like machine at the border of the sphere that was now dissipating.

At the voice's command vast hordes of teletubbies of all colours of the rainbow had stormed through the pink sphere holding glass vials of cleansing potion, which looked very much pink.

BGM: The Vengeful One (Disturbed)

"Eh oh!" roared the teletubbies as they ran alongside Tyranids, Necrons, Orks, ponies from other realms, T'au, humans, and every sort of thing you can think of, from talking sharks, to living couches, Daleks, werewolves, vampires, gnolls, goblins, kobolds, demons, angels, dragons, and even a sentient Earth, shrunk for convenience, toward their pony prey with bats, knives, shovels, every sort of weaponry or item that can be used as one, into battle, one gnoll even wielding a scooter.

"Princess Celestia, your time has come to die. We are the X-Squad, chosen by Anubis himself and The Emperor to put an end to your heresy once and for all!" As Badger said, hundreds of soldiers on the ground screamed as they rushed to end this nightmare. Rubix also chimed in.

"That's right bitch, you're facing the best Ignis Corp has to offer, so if I were you, I'd start reaching for that white flag. Especially when you see what we have in store for you! Alright boys, let 'em have it!"

"You, so called 'Princess Celestia', have made the biggest mistake of your LIFE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?" Voidlon paused for a second. "You THOUGHT that you could enslave an entire RACE and get away with it! And do you know what the species who raised me are going to do about that?" Voidlon snapped at the tyrant. "They're gonna find you and once they do, they'll give you a beating that's way, fucking, OVERDUE!"

Meanwhile, General Daa-Daa drove up in a fucking dreadnought warship moving along the ground and leaving a long trench behind it, being propelled by pure rage and massive jet turbines mounted on the back, as Lieutenant Zinky-Minky got on the big ass battleship cannon and fired off three rounds, flying into the city and exploding as part of the palace shattered. "TUBBY TOAST!"

A band of shadowy figures leapt from the burning ruins of the throne room as two Tyranids dragged Celestia into the mob of soldiers and rioters, which proceeded to tear her apart and liberated Luna from her prison, knowing she was the true heir to the throne. Father looked off into the distance as Drakus held a silver Grid Gear.

"You smell that son!?"

"Uh, the screams of a dictator getting what for?"

"NO, BREAD!!!" He pointed to the Canterlot bakery in the distance. They drew their weapons, and charged off into the portal.

For God, for humanity, FOR BREAD!!!


Isla Nublar houses the first section of Prehistoric Park; a wildlife sanctuary full of woolly mammoths, T-Rex and giant insects. However Nigel's assistant is evaluating the behaviour of one of the park's residents.

The giant Megatherium stood by the trees using their giant claws to rip up the earth creating a large hole. The other residents of the enclosure, the Macrauchenia and the Toxodon were staying away from the dirt clouds stirred up by the animal's claws. Mackenzie stood by the fence with a pair of binoculars watching them.

"I've realised what they're doing," she said "Megatherium is a sloth despite their large size in the xenarthra group, which also has armadillos and anteaters. All of them do this. They dig holes as a form of a resting place as well as a hiding place for predators. Despite having no predators as an adult, a young Megatherium is at risk of predation from a smilodon or a terror bird; this is most likely a residual behavioural trait from their childhood. I need to meet Brandon now; he said the next mission's a big one."

As a way to preserve endangered animals as well as extinct animals Bob has brought in some rare animals to be residents including Hyacinth Macaws, African Elephants, Black Rhino and in the sea areas of the park, Leatherback turtles. Near the holding pens are another species which Bob is feeding now: Cuban Crocodiles.

Bob threw chunks of bloody meat into the crocodile pond where seven rare reptiles snapped them up greedily.

"There you go fellas. Oh, there you are, Maya. Any idea where Brandon is?"

"No. The crocs seem to be thriving."

At that moment, Brandon arrived, but him, Neo and Father were carrying a giant crocodile skull at least a metre long armed full of sharp teeth. Bob shook his head: he knew the owner of the skull was soon arriving at the park. Maya was also not adamant about rescuing a crocodile that size.

"This is Deinosuchus!" Brandon shouted. "It lived 73million years ago in North America and ate dinosaurs but we have no idea how large they could grow. The smallest estimate is 8m but the largest…" He then ran up to them leaving the skull behind. "Could reach from here to the skull tip at 12m. We're going to Texas, to capture the riograndensis species. It went extinct because of climate change destroying its habitat."

For ten million years the Deinosuchus was king of the water until the change in habitat reduced the size of the estuaries they lived in causing the crocodile that ate dinosaurs to vanish. In Texas, 73 million years ago, the last Deinosuchus started to disappear.

The jeep emerged from the portal on a beach. The sun made the clear blue waters shimmer in the light. The sand was fine and the wind whipped it around their eyes. Son spotted something and pulled out a pair of binoculars. Two magenta coloured hadrosaurs with orange-red stripes on the back were standing there. On the head was a curved crest in the direction of the tail similar in shape to a shoehorn.

"Parasaurolophus," Brandon said. "Judging by the crest a walker species. They look quite young. Hold on Maya, I'll give you a show, they use that crest to communicate."

He cupped his hands together and made a loud sound like a horn by blowing into them. The two Parasaurolophus reared onto their hind legs and made a deafening call similar to a honking goose before running off.

However, Maya's attention isn't on the Parasaurolophus but on two dinosaurs behind them.

Brandon turned and jumped into the jeep with Maya. Closing in on them were two tyrannosaurids with silver skin and amber feathers with a formidable jaw full of teeth. He started the jeep and accelerated as much as he could with the two carnivores chasing after them hungrily. After a few minutes, he opened the portal, sending the dinos through.

"Albertosaurus," Brandon said, panting from the stress "An ancestor to Tyrannosaurus."

"I can see the family resemblance. Knowing your love for things that want to eat us, I thought you would want to catch them." Mera snarked.

"With big carnivores like them, I've been 'forbidden' to rescue any without telling Bob first. Muldoon's orders, but Muldoon actually told me to just try not to get Bob killed, other than that, go ape. Ah, here's the toy I brought along with us."

Maya gasped. A small plane was at camp.

At the park, Bob is busy doing his rounds, but not being any normal park, often unexpected things turn up.

Scamp the Didelphodon happily snapped up the chicks given to him as a treat. He was easily Bob's favourite animal in the park along with the microraptors or caudipteryx. Something small and cute that won't tear him limb from limb like the Tyrannosaurs or the Yutyrannus. He placed the bucket full of dead chicks in the jeep to take a photo of the little marsupial. His son and daughter hadn't visited the actual park area of Prehistoric Park, only staying in the bungalows doing their GCSE work, so he said he would take any good pictures of the animals for them. There was a deep growling sound, along with a deep squawking sound, and Bob sighed. One of the new Albertosauruses and a Phorusrhacos each had its mouth in the bucket, acting like a new puppy, Bob internally cursing Brandon and Muldoon for fucking with him as he got the Albertosaurus into its new den.

"Not again," Bob sighed. "You've both been taking a dust bath by the fence, haven't you? At least your mates don't do it by the fence as well." He pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Bob here. One of the new dino and a Terror Bird took a bath by the fence. Yeah, the usual tactic. Arnold should point you two to the right place."

It's difficult to get the Harry Houdini of Terror Birds back into its exhibit but a huge chunk of meat can help.

A few Neanderthals held out the meat and the bird and dino chased it. It was the second time this month he had done this.

In Texas, the squad have decided to take to the air to find a crocodile.

"Deinosuchus was like modern day Saltwater Crocodiles. They lived in salt and fresh water, so we might see one out here."

Maya and Brandon were smiling, while the squad was grinning. A flock of Pteranodon was flying beside them. One swooped down to skim the water for fish with its beak and was followed by one of its brothers. Suddenly there was a giant splash and the flying archosaur disappeared in a torrent of bubbles, blood and teeth.

"Oh my god! What was that?" Chiyo asked.

"Look!" Brandon shouted. They could see a giant pink crocodile swimming by the surface towards the mouth of a river. The river twisted and turned, like an azure coloured giant snake, towards a lake. Around the sides of the river were miles upon miles of forest. Unfortunately by the lake there was not any land to land the plane.

"Well, we'll have to land the plane back at camp and then go to the lake to check it out for tomorrow when we rescue a Deinosuchus or two. We'll go through the forest; I don't fancy taking the boat on that river with the Deinosuchus."

Back at the park Mackenzie, the park vet, has been playing cupid with the Smilodon and is seeing if her plans have worked.

The alpha-female was breathing heavily but the screen showed what Mackenzie wanted. In an hour the smilodon was placed back in the exhibit with her sisters and the new alpha-male named Half-Tooth.

"She's pregnant," Mackenzie smiled. "Two cubs so similar to lions. With the Trikes, Toros, Rex and Yutyrannus, I think our breeding programme is a success. I'm worried about the storm though that's coming, pregnant animals normally panic during extreme weather."

In Prehistoric Texas, Brandon may have started to regret taking the forest route to the lake.

Giant trees blocked most of the light as they trekked through the vines and ferns. The cries of unseen spectators were all around them. Suddenly, Maya pointed out five pairs of amber, tennis ball sized eyes. The owners came into the light and they got a clear view. They were raptors, half the height of a human, 2m long, were covered in white feathers with black stripes and each had a pair of dangerously sharp sickle claws.

"Dromeosaurus falculus," Brandon whispered. "I've seen them at London's Natural History Museum. One of the smartest dinosaurs. Impeccable sense of smell, sight and hearing. Those sickles on their feet have a few functions including stabbing the victim until they bleed out as well as keeping the meat in place as they tear it apart."

"Wait, they're spreading out. They're going in for the kill."

Brandon smiled and pulled out a horn. All animals hated loud noises, so ones with excellent hearing would hate any loud noises. Brandon only had to press it twice, before the Dromeosaurs ran off making screeching noises into a portal. They soon reached the lake to see a herd of Parasaurolophus drinking from the lake. Occasionally one would use its crest to reverberate sound through them which another reciprocated.

"Look," Maya said excitedly.

She saw a big black shape hovering near the bottom of the shallows of the lake. A young Parasaurolophus was absent mindlessly drinking from the lake, not knowing that there is always something watching under the water. Brandon crept up behind the herd with the spare Time Splitter; the other was wired directly into the Deinosuchus exhibit that he had Bob build. The attack came. With a splash, the young dinosaur was dragged into the water by the giant crocodile. As the dinosaurs stampeded Brandon opened the portal and captured a fifth of the herd as they stampeded but Maya caught the crocodilian on her camera. At least a half a dozen other Deinosuchus had joined the first who was now doing a death roll. The death roll helped drown the victim, but as it panicked and moved accompanied with the rolling motion, the jaws tightened. Eventually, the Parasaurolophus' movement stopped and the feast began.

"Amazing," Brandon said. "I've got a plan but we need to go back. It's getting late and Deinosuchus normally comes on land at night. Dromeosaurs are also nocturnal so we have two carnivores about."

However, that night isn't going to be silent.

There was a rustling sound in the jeep at about midnight. Brandon honked his horn and a pack of Dromeosaurus darted from within the jeep and into the forest.

"No!" Brandon exclaimed after checking through the jeep. "They've eaten most of the bait meat. There's just enough left."

The next morning, slightly more dismayed, the crew arrived at the lake. Brandon explained the plan: he was going to tie a piece of meat to a boat oar and splash in the water. The splashing would already attract the crocodile but the meat would act as further persuasion. Maya stood a few feet behind him as he enacted his plan, and it worked. A giant female burst from the lake as Brandon darted out of the way. Neo opened the portal and the crocodile went through. They repeated it so the female could have a mate and a male soon went through the portal. As they were packing up, four Dromeosaurs started sniffing around the jeep, there was still some meat in the back. Brandon used it as an excuse to capture the park's first raptor. Settled they went back to Prehistoric Park.

"Crikey, those Deinosuchus are massive!" Bob laughed "I haven't built the fence on the embankment next to the lake but I've told everyone not to go anywhere near. The hadrosaurs are settled and I'll build an enclosure for the raptors after the storm."

Maya climbed into the jeep next to Bob, and they drove to the garages. Right next to the garage was a generator that went straight to the park.

"So what type of dinosaur are those raptors?" Bob asked.

"Dromeosaurus gracilis," she explained. "We saw a pack of five."

"Wait. I counted four dinosaurs."

Just at that moment a feathered reptilian head burst from the back of the jeep. Maya screamed and Bob accidentally smashed the jeep into the side of one of the generators which caused the solar panels on the generator to smash. The raptor jumped out and snarled before running off. Bob checked if Maya was alright and saw that the reptile's claw had clipped her arm right down to her index.

"I'm fine!" she said, though her arm was bleeding "Best go get Muldoon. I'll go to the park doctor."

Although there is a raptor running loose, the park has bigger problems.

"We have an issue," John Arnold explained lighting a cigarette. "That generator supplied electricity to the fences, and when the panels smashed, it had a power overload. Just before the power went off, the overload damaged the fences. One strike from a lightning bolt and the fence can be smashed and we can't do anything with the storm on us now."

"It's entirely my fault!" Bob lamented with his eyes welling up.

"Bob, it's not your fault," Arnold replied. "How can anyone blame you, when you had a raptor clawing you? Anyway, it shouldn't be too bad. We're protected by the perimeter fence, and the Carboniferous House was built to withstand a nuclear blast."

Arnold's optimism was well founded after the storm passed, until he found out the only fence to be smashed with Bob still out looking for the escapee raptor.

"Brandon, Muldoon!" Arnold shouted down a walkie-talkie. "The only fence to be brought down was Tempus' fence. He's not in his enclosure!"

"Come here you!" Bob yelled at the raptor. The raptor unexpectedly shrieked and ran off. Bob turned around as he saw the shadow form next to him. Slowly the feathered form of Tempus appeared behind him who roared with delight. Suddenly a Gucci bag hit the dinosaur in the face. Voidlon was waving his arms at Tempus who decided to have a meal out of a peskier mammal.

Although the idea was good in the theory stage, it was not as good now leaving Voidlon running for his life.

Voidlon ran as fast as he could, with the irate dinosaur behind him. The smilodon roared in fright as they passed, but Tempus was closing in. Then, Voidlon recognised that they were nearing the holding pens. There was a lake next to him with a tall embankment, so he ran across the rock with Tempus following. There was a burst behind him as he realised that this was Deinosuchus Lake. One of the new residents had tried to pull Tempus into the lake. He entered the holding pens and went to the ladder to the walkway but cried in dismay. The ladder inside the pens themselves had been hit by lightning. The metal had acted as a conductor and destroyed the ladder. He was trapped! Tempus had him cornered until one of the pens opened. A figure exactly matching John Hammond's description of his old friend Green Stripe was on the walkway and opened one of the doors.

"Your veterinarian, Mackenzie Kenzaki, had one of the Beipiasaurus in a pen for pregnancy tests," the Green Stripe told him.

A giant therizinosaur emerged and slashed at the tyrannosaur with its massive scythes. The crew then arrived and got the two dinosaurs into holding pens.

"Did you see him?" Voidlon asked Bob who was on the walkway; he had taken one of the external ladders.

"Who?"

"The Green Stripe!" He was dismayed to see that Bob hadn't seen him but that was impossible. Bob arrived on the walkway, just as the Beipiasaurus was released.

As the fences are fixed, the raptor caught and Voidlon ponders his mystery, the park has time to settle down. Well, until Hammond's next mission…