5
The fire gave quiet crackles as the wood was consumed and turned to ash. The firelight danced over her features with a warm glow, her red hair luminous in the fire. She was odd when she was calm, her eyes lacking that wild bloodlust, and instead replaced with an almost eerie calm. When Red wasn't massacring people that dared take issue with us, she was rather quiet and calculating; probably wondering what the hell we were doing.
I asked her if I could take point so I could lead her in the direction of our current goal. I had a few people that I needed her to rid the world of, but first and foremost was the old bitch that had made my life for the past year a complete and utter hell. Red hadn't really asked too many questions so far, but now those cold blue eyes were looking at me rather intently over the fire.
"Where are we going, Ace? What the hell are we doing just wandering like this?" Her voice was indecipherable; I couldn't tell if she was confused, pissed, or just curious.
"I told you, I broke you out so we could end the people that wronged me." I was a little dismissive, although I could really feel that my answer irked her.
The redhead sighed, rolling her eyes a little. "No shit, but where the hell are we? What did these people do to you?" She poked at the fire with a stick, shifting the embers and sending some ash up and into the night sky.
I knew that she would ask eventually, and I couldn't bring myself to lie to her; but my pride was absolutely terrified to let her know the truth. I sighed a little, trying to steel myself for the tale I knew that I had to tell; if I didn't, she would probably cut my eyes out for fun. "It's a really, really long story."
Red fixed me with a look that seemed to scream "Get the fuck on with it."
"So I grew up in Freeside with my sister. Dad was a real bastard, a slaver, but he did alright by us. One day I woke up and he was dead. So we ran, and that pretty much became our lives for the next few years. We grew up on the streets, lived in a hotel for a while before we got kicked out because we couldn't pay up anymore. I fell in with a gang, and that's honestly where all the damn problems began." I opened my mouth to continue, but the serial killer that sat across from me was raising her palm in a gesture to halt.
I arched an eyebrow at her and she gave me an almost smug look. "You mean to tell me that your pansy ass was in a gang?"
I gave her a completely exasperated look. "Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't be an evil bitch, okay? I did a lot of fucked up shit, and I hate myself for it; my sister could barely look at me half the time. So she started doing drugs, to forget I guess," I cleared my throat a little, the image of Mona still burned into my mind making me want to completely breakdown. "So the other guys in the gang started buying out the cheap dealers, making it harder for her to get a fix. At first they told me that they were doing it to protect her...but the fucking bastards were tempting her with the shit. Trying to make her fuck them so she could get her fix. When she told me what was going on, I just completely flipped out. I stole as much money, drugs, and ammo as I could carry."
Red's eyes were not telling any tales, I couldn't tell if she was upset, or angry, or just completely apathetic. Those sapphire orbs were cold and far off, like staring into a deathclaw's unfeeling, unwavering gaze. Part of me wondered if she was even really listening.
I toyed with my hair a little, a nervous habit I had picked up since Mona was gone. "The plan was to stay in this old house I found out in the desert, quite a ways from Freeside. I figured that it would be isolated enough that me and Mona could hide there and I could wean her off the drugs without giving her any temptations. And you can bet that didn't fucking last. We were out there not even two weeks before those fucking assholes kicked down the door and came looking for the shit we stole." I clenched my eyes shut, the traumatizing images of what they did to Mona etched into my brain. "They made me fucking watch while they did unspeakable shit to my sister. When they were done, she was just...gone. I couldn't tell if she was breathing or not anymore, and there was so much fucking blood that there was no way she was alive. I don't know what they did with her body." My voice broke there, and I felt hot tears start to stream through my eyes. Red was blurry in my vision, but her face was deadly calm, something like a quiet rage showing in her eyes now.
I paused for a moment, a small sob clawing its way out of my throat, but she didn't say anything. I took a shaky breath and forced myself to continue. "They took me to an auction, for slavers to choose who they wanted. I guess I got lucky because they didn't drag me to a Legion slaver. You don't want to know what those sick bastards do with gay men; but honestly, the shit I'm living now might be just as bad. About a year ago, a rich old cunt who goes by Senora Blanca bought me. She takes young men, especially gay ones, and makes them her slaves. There's quite a few of us, and we cook and clean and stand guard. The trusted ones, she lets go out to get supplies or hunt; but the very special ones she uses for other purposes." My tears were drying, the fire helping them to evaporate from my skin, but I was burning inside with an all too familiar rage.
Red cocked her head a little, eyeing me quietly and intently, I knew she wanted me to continue; but my stomach felt sick at the mere thought of the disgusting old woman who had controlled me for so long.
"I was one of her favorites. She trusted me to go on runs for her, trusted that I couldn't get that slave collar off my neck; but I did. And I knew what I had to do. I saw a wanted poster for you in Freeside, you had everyone absolutely shitting their fucking panties; and I knew that I want Blanca, and my old gang to feel that fear. I want them to feel that dread, that sheer helplessness that I did. They're evil fucking people, Red, I need you to help me. I'm not strong enough to do this by myself."
The Freeside Fiend nodded slowly, looking into the fire with that odd rage blazing behind her icy eyes. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on that poster that she would be my salvation, and I couldn't help but be a little awestruck that she was indeed here with me. She was a force of nature, and I couldn't wait to see her tear my enemies apart. Mona always told me what a pure heart I had, but when I saw the tar black, rotten thing that beat inside of Red's chest, if anything was there at all, I couldn't help but be a little envious. It was so easy for her.
"Who are we going after right now?" Her voice was controlled, businesslike.
"Blanca. She's the biggest threat right now; she has probably already sent scouting parties out to look for me. The men that run away from her, it is never pretty if she brings them back."
Her eyes met mine. "Were you one of her special boys?"
I nodded slowly, and she pried further. "And what did she do to you?"
I couldn't look her in the eye, opting instead to look down at my dirty boots. A sense of shame creeped its way slowly up my spine, and I knew that she knew. I had been humiliated in ways I couldn't say aloud, and with my compatriot I didn't have to. She nodded slowly, that sharp glint in her eyes vivid.
"I'll help you, Ace. That old bitch is going to regret the day she ever set foot on this fucking filthy, irradiated rock." My heart beat a little faster with her macabre promise, and I felt my blood boil a little with the thought of revenge. A crooked smile spread over my cheeks, which Red returned, ever so slightly, an almost unnoticeable upward twitch of her lips.
The dangerous woman shifted on her haunches, leaning back against a rock and giving a little sigh. "Get some sleep now, you gay boy." Her tone was sharp, but playful, and I found myself obliging her by adjusting myself to lay back, resting my head on my worn duffel bag and shutting my eyes.
"Nighty night, you bloodthirsty bitch." I cracked one eye open to gauge her reaction. She said nothing, but gave a gentle grin without opening her eyes. This was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
6
"Okay, what about the Khans?"
I hummed in thought, trying to determine how I felt about them. I knew they were little more than drug peddlers and petty criminals; the NCR had massacred their people and essentially tortured them into hiding in a canyon. The way I saw it, they could be useful against NCR and they could use a little vengeance. "Hmm, I would say they are little more than glorified gang members that pump out drugs; but I happen to partake in said drugs and they do happen to kill a lot of NCR, so I think we're on the same page."
Ace gave a little shrug, "Fair enough. Okay what about the Brotherhood?"
That was a name I hadn't heard in a while. "Well damn. Honestly? I don't know enough about them to have an opinion. Would I try to make them an enemy? I don't think so."
The sun was beating down on us relentlessly, my mouth dry and my skin starting to get a little burnt from the sun. I was following Ace in the direction that he claimed his former master lived in. The gay man walked with a sassy little switch in his hips and I smiled. He had a positive feeling about him, he made my head feel a little less heavy.
He spun on his heel, continuing to walk backwards. Half of me expected him to trip over something and bust his ass, but he was surprisingly graceful. "Okay, what about the Legion?"
From the moment we had set foot back on the path this morning, he had been asking me seemingly random questions; my opinions on various factions, different types of crime, and even food opinions. I had never really been asked my opinion on pretty much anything before, so it was mildly refreshing. As far as the Legion went, I wasn't really sure of what to say. They were widely despised, and my gay compatriot had been extremely vocal about his own distaste for the group. My opinions about the Legion were truly my own, something that I wouldn't attempt to clarify to anyone. "No opinion; haven't ran into them enough to form much of an inclination or a rivalry."
Ace arched an eyebrow at me, but gave a little shrug and spun back around to face forward. "What would you have felt if you met me before, when I was in the gang?"
I couldn't help but grin at that one. "You know how I feel about that. Fiends, Vipers, Jackals, any of these little gangs. They're just petty raiders, a plague really. You wouldn't have been much more than an obstacle for me to remove; just another face in the game that I play." I knew he wouldn't like the answer, and by the way he spun around and glared at me, it was obvious that was not at all what he was expecting.
"Well fuck. So I would have just been like shit on your shoe then?"
I shrugged. "Meh pretty much; but you aren't doing that shit anymore. So the way I see it, we are on the same page."
Ace's cheeks were flushed a little, and I couldn't tell if it was from the heat of the Mojave sun or if it was anger from my honesty. I'm sure it was the latter. "And how are you any better than a raider or a fiend? You kill for fun, for sport it seems really, and you steal from your victims just like they do."
That hit me a little lower than I was expecting, and I had the sudden urge to ram my javelin right through his smug little fucking face, but I just smiled at him; by the look on his face it was just as unsettling as I wanted it to be. "I kill people for a reason." There was a glint of curiosity in his eyes and he gave me a moment to explain myself further and I opted to stay silent. My beliefs were my own; I knew that the bombs had dropped for a reason.
"You've killed innocent people, I read all the reports, Red." There was an odd sort of judgment in his eyes and maybe some sort of awe as well.
"Yeah, that's true; but I try to make it all fair. If someone is innocent, I'll be quicker; if it is someone like this Senora Blanca, I take my time." My philosophy made sense to me, and quite truly I didn't care if he understood it or not. It gave me purpose, made me feel pure really. If Ace didn't like that, he should have let me rot away in that prison.
He was silent for a moment and I arched my eyebrow at him as he fell into step beside me. "Am I sensing judgment? Feeling a little buyer's remorse at what you're taking on here?"
The blonde man shook his head, "No, I guess I just want to understand; but we need to pick up the pace, we're just about to her house."
…
A short time later, we were cresting a hill and looking down into a little valley. There was a massive mansion down there, seeming almost too large to be an actual home; it looked like a damn hotel. "This bitch lives there? Did she just take over a hotel or something?"
"Yeah actually. She needs somewhere to keep all her slaves, so I guess she saw this place as fitting." Ace's voice was dripping with disgust, his tone sharp.
He handed me a pair of binoculars and I gave the exterior of the house a once over. "I'm seeing some guys with guns outside, are any of these dudes going to pose a problem?"
"If it was just you going in there, maybe. They aren't exactly loyal to Blanca, but they will definitely defend themselves from anyone who attacks. I'll head down there with you though, and once we tell them why we're here, there shouldn't be an issue. I think everyone will be worshipping you for killing the old bitch." Ace was grinning, excitement brimming in his bright blue eyes.
My excitement was probably equal to his; when the hunt began I was always ecstatic. We made our way down the mountain and towards the hotel, the air feeling thick with electricity. "I have several questions though, Ace. How many of you are there?"
He hummed a little in thought, "Hmm, maybe fifteen, twenty?"
"So there are, let's say twenty, healthy, fit young men, and one old bat. Why haven't you guys ganged up and rushed her? It would be so easy."
"In theory, yes. In reality though, she has things extremely well controlled. I told you about the slave collars; well they aren't just your standard proximity device. Sure if we run too far, our head goes pop, but they can also notify her when we are getting close to her. She always knows when we are near, and she keeps her detonators on her at all times."
"Sounds like she planned this out for quite some time and had the caps to fund it as well. If we can get a hold of some of them after she is dead we could be set. Is there anything else I should know about?"
He shrugged a little, a gentle rise and fall of his thin shoulders. "Not that I know of, not unless something has changed." A gust of wind blew past, tousling his unnaturally blonde hair and kicking up some of the Nevada dust.
The hotel drew ever nearer, and I was immediately aware of someone wandering around the front of the building, a guard surely. "I wouldn't worry too much about this guy, when he sees that it is me he will practically beg us to go gut that old bitch."
I barely had time to respond before a small bark scorpion was digging its body out of the sand and skittering towards me. Without so much as a second thought, I was impaling it into the dust with one of my javelins before stomping it relentlessly.
"Um...Red?"
I looked up towards the man who had broken me out of prison to see a massive Radscorpion crawling out from behind a rock and tearing across the dirt towards us. I wrenched my javelin from the dust and tried to shake the smaller creature free, but the worn metal was jammed in the tough shell that encased the beast's body. My frustration was much more apparent than my fear, the latter an emotion that I didn't really feel too often. In Ace however, his fear was very apparent. "Bitch, we gotta go!" He was rushing towards me frantically, snatching me by the bicep and dragging me along with him.
"We gotta kill this fucking thing, get off of me." I snarled a little and snatched my arm away, standing my ground and sending my javelin flying into one of the creature's many eyes. It recoiled, its body quaking in pain for a moment before marching on towards us, determined to end our lives.
Ace was frantically scrabbling for his machine gun, muttering something that sounded awfully close to "Stubborn, crazy bitch."
I smirked a little, watching him scrabble to raise his 9mm submachine gun and unleash a torrent of bullets into the abomination. Another staccato of gunfire erupted into the air and several bullets pierced the creature's tough carapace, tearing through its head. By some luck, it had finally been killed.
I stepped on the smaller radscorpion and ripped my javelin out of it as our savior approached. Ace greeted him happily while I wiped the creature's guts away from the blade. It was the man I had seen patrolling when I was looking through the binoculars.
"Wade! We're here to get rid of the old bitch, once and for all. I even brought The Freeside Fiend to help." He gestured to me and I gave a wink and a wave, keeping my expression sarcastic.
"The who?"
Ace rubbed his forehead. "You're telling me you've never heard of her? Huge serial killer in Freeside? C'mon man."
I rolled my eyes. "Ace, stop fucking around. Where is this bitch and when can I get this shit over with?"
Wade was all too happy to let us inside of the hotel that Blanca had taken up as her little slice of hell. The place was immaculate, for the wastes. Her little servants must have been tucked away in rooms because there weren't too many people wandering around. Since the old bitch was monitoring his location, he didn't join us inside.
The walls were painted a deep red, and for some reason it gave me Wild West whorehouse imagery. I supposed it really wasn't too far off in a way. "So, where's she hiding at?" I turned to Ace with a devilish grin.
"She's upstairs, the main office was converted into her bedroom when she made this place. Double doors, you can't miss it." His voice was helpful and confident, but I was getting the feeling that it was all an act. He was nervous to be here.
"Well, Ace, I'm going to hit the bathroom before we get started here. Be a dear and find me some tools to work with, would you?" I blew him a little kiss and wandered off to the door that had a ladies room sign beside it. Being cautious as I slipped inside, I turned the little lock on the door as I shouldered off my little bag that I carried my few belongings in. Tearing into my bag, my hands quickly found exactly what they were seeking, and the syringe full of psycho was in my grasp in an instant.
It was a nasty little reminder of my time from Freeside, because who the hell wasn't high there? It gave the adrenaline I got from my work such a boost, a rush unmatched by anything I had experienced. Given that Ace's sister had been an addict, I figured that he wouldn't take too kindly to seeing my own drug use. The needle pierced my skin with a dull burn that was quickly dulled by the feel of the drugs snaking cooly through my veins. I gave an exhale of relief at the feeling, my eyes rolling back for a moment and my body damn near collapsing.
7
I wandered from room to room finding what I could for my red haired demon woman. There was little to be had for the most part, but Blanca had some interesting finds in the maintenance closet. It was locked, but I made short work of the lock. I found a hammer, an old lawn mower blade, a screwdriver, and some old wire. I figured Red could make use of them all and I returned to the main foyer for our rendezvous. She emerged from the bathroom looking a little more disheveled than usual. Her eyes had taken on a cold gleam, her lids seeming heavier than usual, and then suddenly she became very aware. "What did you come up with, Pretty Boy?"
"Why don't we just go show them to her, that way it will be a surprise for you both." It was a solid excuse, in all reality I just wanted to get it over with and get out of here as fast as possible. Just walking through the front door again had made me feel ill. Maybe seeing this psychopath slaughter my tormentor would make me feel better.
"I like the way you think! Now come on, let me at her." She gave a grin that was completely unhinged and I felt a bit of a chill go down my spine. Red was a bloodthirsty one, that much was certain.
I marched dutifully up the stairs, feeling like my stomach was doing backflips. It could have been from the horrific anticipation of the terrors I was about to witness, but some sick part of me suspected that maybe it was excitement to finally see my abuser suffer. The old bitch had put me through hell, it was the only other trauma that affected me so badly since what had happened to Mona. I tried not to think about it as often as possible, but how the hell could anyone get images of their twin sister being beaten and violated and tortured out of their mind?
As we drew near Blanca's room, I realized that my sweaty palms that had been gripping the loose lawn mower blade were shaking. Not hard enough for Red to notice, but more than enough for me to notice. I loosened my grip and took a look down at my right palm; the damn blade had managed to cut into ny skin and draw a thin red line of blood over my hand. Grimacing slightly, I wiped my palm over my pants.
"Don't tell me you wanna back out of this, Pretty Boy." Red had indeed noticed, and those wild blue eyes were trained on me raptly, but a playful smile was playing across her lips.
I heard something stir in Blanca's room and my heart leapt up into my throat. "Fuck no. You hear that?" My voice came out like a choked whisper.
Red smiled, a real genuine smile that touched her eyes, and I couldn't quite place why. Then she lightly pushed me away from the door with her hand before planting her feet squarely before it. "Let me take it from here," and with that, she brought her leg up and kicked the door in with all the strength of a goddamn Yao Guai. The wood of the doorframe splintered inwards, the door blowing in like the little pig's straw house. Splinters of wood scattered across the floor, the door itself came off the hinges and slammed against the worn and flattened carpet of the floor with a low thud. Blanca let out an earsplitting screech of fear and it was music to my ears.
The old bat darted across the room for something, presumably the little gun she kept on her bedside table, but from her position coming out of the in-suite bathroom, she was too far away from her little iron protector. Red was faster than the aging woman could ever hope to be, she caught Blanca easily by her bicep and swung her across the room like a top. "Where you going Grandma? Sit the fuck down!" She howled like a hyena and I caught myself joining her.
Blanca went sprawling into her dresser, sending lotions and perfumes scattering. She always stunk like a french whore, I was glad to see the tacky bottles hit the floor and shatter. Bouncing off the dresser and tumbling to the floor, Blanca looked up at both of us in sheer terror. "Jason? I thought you were dead!"
"Well surprise, bitch. I'm here and you're completely fucked." My voice came out as sharp as I intended it to for once, and Red gave me a little smirk.
Red spoke quickly, "So, what tools do we have for our patient here?"
I handed her everything I found, the wire, the blade, the hammer, and the screwdriver. Red looked like a kid in a candy store. I had definitely found the right murderous psychopath for the job. She laid her tools out on a little cabinet near the door, humming cheerfully as she ran her fingers over each object. It was a surprisingly innocent sound and I arched an eyebrow at her as she contemplated her choices of tools. Thin fingertips met the hammer, she paused humming and shook her head. The same action was repeated with the wire and the blade, before she settled on the screwdriver and gave a winning smile, nodding her head in approval. "You'll do just fine."
Blanca had started to rise to her feet, her hand dipping into her pocket and drawing out the little device that controlled her slave's collars. Red had her back turned and didn't notice, but I was quick to react. "Don't even think about it bitch!" My legs were fast as they carried me to the old biddy, but her fingers were faster. She tapped a button on the screen, and I heard a loud boom from somewhere inside the hotel.
I collided with her, expecting to knock the thing out of her grip, but she was holding onto that screen for dear life. We hit the floor hard and she quickly snarled, "I'll keep killing them! Leave me be or I'll keep killing them!" Fighting for dominance over the device, I snatched it away, but not before someone's fingers hit another button. There was another boom, sounding closer this time.
Blanca was swearing at me in Spanish, her curses drowned off into a screech of agony and it took me a moment to realize Red was there sticking the screwdriver in the old bat's kneecap. I clambered off the woman, panting and smirking down at her. She was shrieking, her eyes darting between the two of us and the screwdriver sticking out of her knee. "That looks like it hurts. How's this feel?" Red's tone was playful, she took a finger and used it to wiggle the screwdriver to and fro.
Another torrent of curses filled the air, and Red looked up at me and laughed like someone had just told the funniest joke she had ever heard. "Oh man, I'm having a good time!" The redhead ripped the screwdriver out and rammed it into Blanca's other knee. It gave a nasty crunch as it punctured the bone of her kneecap, and I couldn't help but cringe a little.
Blanca was screaming like a banshee, and Red seemed to be getting annoyed by it. "Shut up, would you? I got some questions for you."
When she didn't follow Red's order, she cracked her fist across the old woman's mouth, knocking one of her few teeth out. "I said shut the fuck up! Now listen, why the hell did you do this shit to him? To the others?"
Blanca looked pathetic, but she still had that snooty set to her brow when she answered. "Because they're abominations. Being queer, that's unholy. I'm showing them the way they should be. With a woman, as God intended."
Red rolled her eyes. "Oh please, that old line of shit. I don't know if you've noticed it lady, but this is a wasteland. God is dead, it's a free for all out here. Who cares if dudes want to fuck other dudes?"
"It isn't right! It's the Devil's will!" Blood flew from her lips as she spoke and Red started cackling madly again.
"You dumb deluded bitch, you can't force yourself on a gay guy and think it's going to fix him. You think they're doing the Devil's work? I'll show you whose really doing it." Her tone changed suddenly, losing that playful edge it had all along. She turned and went back to her little table of torture instruments and grabbed the hammer.
The events that unfolded before me were horrific, but I couldn't look away. It was like watching a train wreck, horrible and violent and bloody, but I was determined to watch my abuser suffer. Red broke her limbs, strangled her, cut her fingers off, and I forced myself to watch every moment. It was horrifying, and yet something that horrified me even more was that I had begun to find it cathartic, therapeutic even.
If the grisly scenes weren't bad enough, Red's demeanor made it exceptionally unpleasant. She would be quiet, focused, like she was wearing a mask. Even as she bashed her victim's elbows with the hammer. Then suddenly, the mask slipped, a smile spread over her cheeks, like she was watching some especially funny comedy special. She muttered to herself and generally seemed completely off from how she had been before we came up here.
I could almost pinpoint it all to psycho use, I'd been around enough junkies to know what this was. And yet I wouldn't dare confront her on it, as much as it pained me to see her so manic. Perhaps that was what puzzled me even more, why should I care what this woman did? She wasn't Mona, she wasn't even a good person, and yet I didn't want to see her get sucked into that black hole of addiction.
Something was thrust into my hand, breaking my reverie. I looked down, a bloody hammer. Held by a bloody hand that belonged to Red. "C'mon, you should be the one to finish it." The madness in her eyes had temporarily lessened; lessened being the key word here, it still lurked in her bright blue eyes.
Blanca's blood streaked over my pale skin, and yet I didn't feel my flesh start to crawl. This was what I wanted, I wanted her to suffer, and here it had happened. Yet still, something was missing.
"Go get 'em Tiger!" Red gave me an enthusiastic slap on the back, flashing before my eyes the image of a bloody handprint left in her wake on my shirt.
I stood over the remains of the woman that had played an instrumental role in destroying what was left of my life, turning the hammer around and around in my hands. She looked up at me, her face streaked with blood and her lips trembling. I almost expected her to beg for her life, but instead she spat blood weakly at me. It didn't get very far, misting over her shirt and dribbling down her chin. "Fuck you, fucking queer. And fuck her too!" Her words came out wet and garbled together, it wouldn't surprise me if her jaw was broken from Red beating her face in.
"What eloquent last words. Well, you twisted old bitch, I guess I'll be seeing you in hell. This is for me, and all the men you've tormented over the years." I cocked the hammer back before sending it on its downward descent into her face. Her eyes went wide just before impact, and her skull gave a sick crunch as the clawed end of the hammer sunk into her forehead.
I paused for a moment, watching the light drain from her eyes, her jaw twitched like she was trying to say something, and then the room went deathly quiet. Suddenly, I felt some kind of frenzy inside of myself, and I dropped to my knees, straddling her body and ripping the hammer out of her face. I slammed it home again and again, blood and bits of skull and brains spraying across myself and the floor.
I didn't stop until I collapsed, tears streaming hot down my face. Blanca was unrecognizable at this point, her body mutilated and her head little more than a pile of crushed viscera. For a moment, it was like everything else fell away. There was no hotel, no Red, no enslaved men or wasteland. Just me looking down at the body of the woman I hated most in this world. It felt strange, knowing that it had once been Blanca, and now she was little more than bloody meat staining the carpet.
I should have been happy, but when the tears stopped streaming down my face, I felt nothing at all.
