Hanji is so silly, Levi thought, feeling a fond smile tug at his lips. Getting excited over a bit of blood like that, tsk.

He put his face against her warm neck and inhaled deeply. Only she could gush for at least an hour about medical sciences and the joys of feeling the pains of womanly cramps while a man was aching and desperate to get her laid.

"Are you asleep?" He whispered.

"Mhhhh," she hummed, continuing to breathe in and out deeply and regularly. A soldier's skill: respond to questions while sleeping soundly.

"Pfft," he tightened his arms around her. Silly Hanji.

The bed they shared again was still far too narrow for two people and still he didn't mind one bit. Rationally, he wasn't the type to cuddle someone like a stuffed toy, but nothing he was doing these days was rational: Having sex with his superior. Getting emotional about it. Deviating from his orders. Wading knee deep in trouble.

After their weird encounter in the Titan facility gardens, Levi had dragged the tightly bound, unconscious Eren to the Doctor's house and made sure he was secured even more tightly to a bed for the night. Mikasa had given him an evil side eye upon seeing Eren's bruised face but she must have realized it was smarter to keep her mouth shut, since there was nothing that could be said to defend Eren's treacherous action. They would decide what to do with him tomorrow - according to Hanji and Armin, the decision needed some 'careful thinking'.

Levi was doubtful that much thinking was necessary: Without Eren on their side they were truly, deeply fucked.

Hanji hadn't been able to do any careful thinking anyway - not that Levi felt sorry for keeping her a little busy, exhausting her to the point where she had just mumbled "more later, Levi, later", falling asleep the very next moment. No, he didn't feel sorry: She deserved her rest, she was always working so hard.

He sighed and inhaled more Hanji scent before closing his eyes to catch a few hours of sleep himself. It wasn't something to boast about, but he had never trusted Eren, that boy just knew how to bat his sad green eyes at people and have them fawn and coo over him like he was a whole litter of puppies. For a long time, Levi had felt that Eren was up to something, something that would not be pretty once it hit them.

Maybe that thing was finally here?

On the brink of sleep, Levi knew with eerie certainty that he was going to have one of his "strange" dreams, but he could not do anything against it. He heard a weird voice mumble something, then was inevitably drawn up and forward to that place, the place with the white sand and the colorful sky, where he felt lost and forlorn, like he was the last human being on earth.

"Hanji," he croaked, "wake me up!"

But how could she, no sound left his lips. He lay there frozen, helpless, and pathetically terrified.

… White sand covers the ground, twinkling like a gazillion tiny stars. It is warm and pleasant underneath his bare feet - which is an illusion, a lie, there is no warmth here. The vastness of what he beholds is stunning, the sky is painted with trails of wavering light and he who never knew fear feels humbling awe as he stares and stares and cannot avert his eyes even when they feel like they are melting out of his head.

"It's not like I haven't been here before," he says to calm himself but words exist only inside his head, his tongue is so heavy he cannot move it. There is no calm, only creeping dread. He feels increasingly dizzy and powerless, like the sand saps his life out through the soles of his bare feet.

"Why the fuck are my feet bare?" He lifts one foot off the ground to have a closer look at it. Have his feet always been this small and white? It's well known, only idiots walk around with no shoes, because if you do, you are bound to cut yourself. One guy even died of an infection that way. Military Police, of course. All of them, idiots.

Levi feels drunk or delirious when his thoughts make him laugh. He flinches at his own shadow, runs away in a weird zig zag - runs away from what? Himself? As he frowns at the track he left in the sand, he remembers that he shouldn't be here. Someone is bound to get really angry. That someone wields an anger that hurts, deep in his bones.

That someone is The Child.

As if the thought has summoned her, she approaches from far across the sand, behind her a beautiful light, like a burning tree that touches the sky. She wears tattered clothing with a cloth headband, a sash belt, and leather sandals laced above her ankles. She is tiny, her eyes underneath her bangs shadowed. Does she even have eyes?

Tsk, stupid. This is no child. This is Ymir, their goddess. Levi Ackerman kneels, as is appropriate … but she stops abruptly and turns her face away until he gets back up.

Ymir looks half starved, like the children in the underground that live in the most desolate of ruins. He feels a surge of pity for her, but that emotion frightens him. Only utter fools dare to pity the gods.

"Ackerman," she greets him. "So you have come again."

He nods, though a little unsure what occasion she is referring to… he does remember walking on the sand before, sometimes without permission and purpose, sometimes with, often feeling lost. Previously, he recalls, she has called him "not one of mine". But if not a subject of Ymir, whose subject then?

"I'm looking for Eren," Levi says slowly. It's true, but also not true, he knows exactly where Eren is. Bound tightly to a bed in a house that belongs to a doctor in Liberio, capital of Marley. It's like an anchor, that place, it holds him in place.

"The Founder is looking for you," she says in response and it's enough for Levi to lose that anchor of knowledge, to become adrift in time.

"I don't understand what I'm doing here," Levi blurts out. "What does he want? This shit needs to stop. He cannot keep dragging me here, he cannot give me cryptic shit for answers and expect me to know what to fucking do."

"You have to die," Ymir shrugs. "You are in the way."

Ha, is that all? He feels tempted to laugh. They are all dead, only he is still alive. What is the point of living if all the people you cared about are dust and bones? His life has no value.

"Whatever he has promised you," Levi narrows his eyes at her. "He is probably lying. He and that monkey scumbag brother of his are up to no good. Zeke has royal blood. The two of them can…"

"Oh, I know that," Ymir interrupts him rudely. "They will go to Paradis together and they will bring down the Walls to start the Rumbling. They will take revenge for me. Everyone will die. Everyone. And I will finally be free."

"You are one crazy bitch," Levi suddenly finds his breath short. "Everyone will die? You think that's justified?"

"They have done horrible things," her face contorts in anger, "horrible, horrible things. Not a single person deserves to live!"

The statement gives Levi pause. Maybe she is right. It is true that they have all done horrible things. But…

"The children have not," he objects, "all the children born into this world, they are free of sin."

"They are not!" She stomps her foot, the whole world shakes and Levi loses his balance, falling to his knees ungracefully. "Why are you even here, you are banned from this place," she begins to sob, retreating, "all of you, banned! You mean to kill him!"

"Eren?"

Kill Eren… The thought isn't entirely unappealing but it would not be something he'd choose to do easily. He may not trust him, but the boy's big, pained, green eyes have left a mark on his soul. And yet… Levi sighs and looks at his empty hands. "So be it," he murmurs. "He needs to be stopped."

"Don't hurt him!" Ymir cries.

The girl picks up a handful of sand and flings it at his face. Levi shuts his eyes, feeling it pelt against his skin like hot needle pricks. When he opens them again someone else is beside her, his hands protectively on her shoulders. It takes Levi a few seconds to recognize the man.

"Eren?" he gasps incredulously.

Time has etched its marks on Eren's face, leaving behind a tapestry of wrinkles and lines that speak of a life filled with trials and tribulations. His once vibrant and fierce eyes hold a depth of wisdom and weariness, as if they have witnessed countless storms and tragedies over the years. His hair has turned silver, cascading down to his shoulders like a waterfall of memories. The strands carry the weight of time, a testament to the passage of years and the burden he has carried on his shoulders.

On his head, he wears a faded crown.

"Captain Levi," Eren nods benevolently. "The word draws you here in your sleep, nothing else. Do not fear me, I mean you well."

"What is going on Eren," Levi presses out, struggling to his feet. "What have you done?"

"Not enough," Eren murmurs, "Zeke is dead and all is lost. You can end me now."

It feels to Levi like everything is slipping through his fingers, time, reason, understanding. He has been here countless times, everything is futile and pointless, and the weight of the memories pushes him back to his knees.

"Appius is to blame," Eren rambles on, "there cannot be too many people with royal blood or all goes wrong. If he gets his hands on you…"

"You killed him," Levi says, there is sand in his mouth suddenly, making it hard to breathe. He hates it here, hates it, hates it, hates it!

"Ah," the old man sighs. "I did? Good, good, it might help. Do you have the serum, Captain Levi?"

The serum. The fucking serum again. No, he has no serum! He has no clue what it even means, all these people keep talking about a serum, as if he should know about it just because there is Ackerman blood in his veins!

"Fuck this shit!" Levi coughs violently, his lungs are clogging up. "I don't know anything, nobody ever told me what I am!"

"Ah," Eren sighs even more dramatically. "Time does that to memories, we have lived for far too long."

He looks down at Ymir, she turns her face up to him, the love and devotion in her eyes is unmistakable. It sickens Levi to see it: Gods should be free of such ties or they cease to be Gods.

"Don't worry, he will not harm you," Eren tells her, but then puts his hands over her ears like a parent who wants to shield their child from unsuitable knowledge. "You will end us," he orders Levi with a voice that echoes off the nothingness around them. "That is your purpose. I told you to get the serum from Grütter."

"End you?" Levi presses out. The child's eyes on him are round and gullible. Not a child, he corrects himself with a sinking feeling, and yet, a child. End her? Kill a god? Two gods? That is his purpose? What the fuck. He was just a lost child from the Underground who got a chance to develop a skill with swords.

"Ah, not quite yet," Eren sighs, his old eyes taking on a faraway look. "Now you have to leave."

Levi feels pressure in his head, that pressure, feels fingers reaching into it, plucking things out, erasing them. He erases your mind. Not for the first time. Remember.

"Here we go," Eren sounds as tired as the wind "Goodbye."

He shoves him down. Drowning in a sea of white, hot sand, Levi is plunged into darkness… is this what dying feels like?

Remember, remember!

###

Levi's thoughts are sluggish and muddled and his head hurts like hell. After a few seconds of feeling horribly disoriented, he realizes he is in a somewhat smelly bed, in a dark room. With… Hanji?!

It's a dream, just a dream, she is gone, gone, gone…

Ah, how his chest hurts, he can't breathe, the unshed tears of years gone by are choking him. His one regret, a fucking HUGE regret, is not holding her back when he should have, holding her with all his strength until the misguided heroism that plagued them all revealed its utter foolishness.

Fighting for air, he presses his eyelids together, forcing himself to fall asleep. It is only in his dreams that he can sometimes still see her.

Dreams, the kind of dreams that feel like memories.

###

Remember.

"Seems like your Titan love will always go unrequited, eh, Four Eyes?"

He never got to tell her how he felt. So many days and nights and months and years spent together, but still not enough time. His voice was always gruff when he talked to her, his words rude and hurtful. Pathetic like a boy who likes a girl and pulls her hair to be noticed.

"I'll get along with her soon enough," she quipped.

They stood with their backs to each other, because it was too painful otherwise. His disfigured face shamed him, his maimed hand was proof of his biggest failure. Zeke Yeager, he was alive despite his solemn vow to end the bastard's life - and that failure was the sole reason they were in this desolate situation. He had failed Hanji, his Commander, failed all of them, the kids who had never gotten to be children, the whole of fucking humanity who had always depended on him. And yet, he was still alive, what a cosmic joke. For what? The final battle was here, but he was in such pain he could barely move.

"Say, Levi. Do you think everyone is watching? Will our dead comrades… be proud of what we do today?" Hanji's voice was soft, almost tender - but those words felt like a knife to his chest.

"Don't start talking like him," he snapped.

Why did you jinx it, dammit. Erwin knew he was going to die, he had no other choice. Was it not different for us? We had a choice. Once. Did we not? Ah, if only I could remember…

Floch's appearance in the hangar was like a perverted plot twist written by a malicious child. Utterly ridiculous. Unnecessarily cruel. Floch was dying, but he had done the worst kind of damage with his bullets. The flying boat's fuel tank was ruptured, leaving them stranded and defenseless against the approaching terror of the Rumbling Titans.

They needed an hour. They had half of that at best.

Why did he stand on the sidelines as Armin and Reiner argued over who should sacrifice themselves to slow down the advancing wall of Titans? Yes, Reiner should have done it. Reiner was barely alive, guilt had eaten away his soul. Why did Levi say nothing when Hanji stepped forward with the thunder spears in their stead? Was it true they could not afford to lose any more Titan powers like she said? He wasn't sure then, he wasn't sure now.

He watched her approach with determined strides after declaring Armin the next Commander.

"You understand right, Levi?" She had already walked past where he stood. Was she afraid he would hold her back? Was she hoping he would? Whatever it was, he couldn't move. "The time is finally here. It's my big moment. I want to look as cool as I possibly can right now. So let me do this!"

This, he will regret forever. It was the fire in her eyes, the certainty with which she walked that made him hesitate. Unafraid, to the end, his Hanji, his everything. So ready for the final sacrifice. Who was he to stop her? A friend. A comrade. A coward.

"Dedicate your heart," he said, touching his uninjured fist to her chest. And still they were not looking at each other. Why not? Why did I not look at you, hold you, kiss you at least once?

She laughed, her excitement making her voice quiver. "That's the first time I've ever heard you say that."

As Hange soared into the skies to confront the Titans, Levi looked away. He could not bear to witness her foolish bravery. He could not shed any tears either. Pathetic, broken, useless.

So long, Hanji. My love. Did we never have a future or did we just take the wrong turn? So long.

The bravest of souls, nothing but a streak of fire in the air. He had failed her. Failed her. Failed…

###

Levi woke up with a start. His heart was racing, the tears wetting his cheeks were such an unusual sensation, he had to touch his face to understand what they were. In his arms, Hanji trembled miserably.

"Hanji…," he asked in alarm, "what is it?"

"A dream," she sobbed into the pillow. "I had a dream. I saw Erwin, Mike, and Moblit! Nanaba! Everyone was there! We watched you fly away in an airplane."

A dream. He had just woken from one too, a vague sense of something unpleasant and dark remained, but the details quickly became elusive, leaving only fragments of sound and motion that popped and vanished before he could grasp them.

"Don't be sad," he murmured, quickly wiping his face dry with his hand. An airplane? What fancy new thing was that again?

"It's just…," she sniffled. "It was the last time I was ever going to see you, you know?"

"Silly Hanji," he took one of her hands. "I'm here. We're in fucking Liberio, but I'm here."

It took a while for her to calm down. He switched on the small light next to the bed, holding her to his chest and stroking her tangled hair. It was still dark outside, perhaps four or five in the morning. Hanji needed more sleep or else she might start thinking about their Eren-problem. Only unpleasant things would come from that.

"Make love to me?" She asked, looking so vulnerable and sad as she gazed up at him through wet lashes his heart wanted to break. "My tummy hurts."

She wanted nothing gentle from him but a rough, quick pounding, artless but effective in providing the relief she thought. It seemed to relax her. Not him though.

"I want to go home, Hanji," Levi admitted, his chest so tight when he looked at her he could barely breathe. "Come home with me. We'll find a little house somewhere outside the walls. We'll just sit there and live a boring life."

"Ha," she took a trembling breath and squinted at him. "We can't, Levi. Not yet."

She lifted her hand to caress his face. "Has anybody ever told you how beautiful you are?"

"Shuddup, Four Eyes," he felt his cheeks heat up, "that's so mushy I'm going to puke."

"What? You are," she yawned. "Though I have to admit, I don't see that well without my glasses. Do I need to get up to go to work now?"

"It's too early, you should go back to sleep," he frowned.

"I'm wide awake," she yawned again.

"Stay in bed, close your eyes," he disentangled himself from her. "I'll go wash and will get you a cup of tea."

"I prefer coffee," she buried her head deeper in the pillow.

"Nonsense," he swung his legs out of bed. The cool air was nice and sobering. "Don't move."

"Alright," she yawned extensively. "Don't wake me once you come back or I will be grumpy."

"Tsk."

All was quiet in the house apart from the soft click-clack of the big clock downstairs. Levi went to the bathroom, pulled on a shirt and trousers, then made his way down the stairs in the semi dark. Why were his legs so wobbly? Could too much sex do that? He put his hand on the railing to steady himself, like an old fucking person.

He noticed the light seeping out underneath the door halfway down. Someone else was in the kitchen? Armin? Jean, Sasha, and Conny weren't back yet, were they? No, it was Ernst von fucking Bergmann of all people, looking at him with shocked surprise over the rim of his stupid glasses when Levi ripped open the door.

"What are you doing?" Levi asked full of suspicion. The doctor looked strangely unkempt, the dark stubble of a beard visible on his chin. He wasn't dressed properly either.

"What do you think?" The Doctor laughed and pointed at the documents that were scattered before him, "sitting in my own kitchen at dawn, doing nefarious things, what else."

"I am not in the mood for your jokes," Levi grumbled, going over to the stove to boil some water.

"I didn't think you were," Ernst von Bergmann replied drily and began putting the documents into a pile. "I don't sleep well ever since my wife died. What's your excuse?"

"Hanji had a bad dream," Levi retorted. "Then she needed comforting. And now I'm getting her a cup of tea."

"She needs her sleep," the doctor said sharply. "Not your kind of 'comforting'."

"Tsk," Levi chuckled. "Says who? She asked for it. Just cover your ears if you don't like it."

The doctor was jealous, which pleased him greatly. He could feel the man watching him from across the room, a tingling feeling at the back of his neck. Levi decided to ignore him.

"Which tea is good for womanly tummy aches?" Levi stared at the gigantic selection of dried leaves and roots and other things in the cupboard.

"Uhm," the Doctor cleared his throat, "try Saint John's wort. Third row to the left."

Levi located the jar - the Doctor's handwriting on the label was appalling - and put two tablespoons of the green leaves into the ceramic teapot.

"I thought you would stay in the internment zone for a while," the Doctor remarked.

"I didn't."

"Why?"

"None of your damn business," Levi threw him a dark look over his shoulder. "It's a military secret."

"You're only going to cause her trouble," the Doctor's eyes were sharper now.

"I don't intend to," Levi shrugged and poured the water into the pot. "I'll just watch her back while she does her sciency thing."

Until she gave him new orders. Fuck this, now they had Eren back, things would have to change. Could they force him to help them? Probably not. Maybe they just had to send Armin to destroy all the others. Sometimes, brute force was the best option.

"How long should it steep?"

"Ten minutes or more," the Doctor replied without having to think.

Levi turned around, finding the eyes of the man burning into him intently. "What's your fucking problem?" He snapped. "I won't cause Hanji any trouble, I just told you so."

"You are trouble personified," the Doctor grumbled. "It is inconvenient to have you here."

"Because I'm an Ackerman?" Levi remembered their last conversation.

"They are hunting for you," the Doctor nodded. "You are well aware that the net is tightening."

"Will you help them catch me?" Levi asked, watching the other man closely. Eren's father had been a doctor too. Maybe that was the reason he did not trust them. And hadn't there been another one…?

"I want to live a bit longer," the Doctor chuckled. "I'm not stupid enough to go up against you, Ackerman."

"Is there something in particular you want from me?" Levi asked.

"Me?" von Bergmann lifted his eyebrows mockingly. "Sure. All your secrets. And for you to leave the city. Forever."

"Nice try," Levi smirked.

Grütter. The name of the other one was Grütter, he suddenly remembered. Oriental Clan fellow. Somebody talked about him not long ago. Who was it? If only I could…

"Remember," Levi murmured, an ominous shiver racing down his spine.

"Hm?" The Doctor grabbed a periodical from the table, flicking through its pages. "You have to speak up if you want to have a conversation with me."

The sudden feeling of being caught in a dream was so unreal, Levi had to grab onto the counter to steady himself.

"Is it your wound?" The Doctor asked with a frown.

"Do you ever get the feeling like a situation might have happened before?" Levi blurted out.

"Sometimes," von Bergmann regarded him steadily. "It's called a déjà-vu. Why?"

Dreams that felt like memories. Memories. What if they are memories? But that's not possible. Is it?

"Eren, you fucking lunatic, I'm going to kill you," Levi ground out, quickly moving to the door. Kill him. Has he ordered me to kill him?! This is way too fucked up.

"Hey! The tea!" von Bergmann called out, just as the upstairs room exploded into chaos.

"Captain Levi! Commander!" Armin's panicked voice ricocheted off the walls. "Eren! Eren and Mikasa! They are gone!"