Do you know how hard it is to write montages? Cut me some slack.

"Katniss!" Prim tugs on my sleeve urgently. "Why was he talking to you?"

I will hear that question hundreds of times over the next week.

"I don't know," is all I can say. "Maybe he…obviously he wasn't thinking clearly."

His words echo in my brain; I'm sure it won't stop until I see him again. Something I hadn't thought would ever happen again, but he's done it, he's won. Gale will be back in District Twelve within the week.

I don't know why that thought fills me with more dread than anything else.

§

Life changes as soon as the Games end. It's like a dark cloud has lifted from the entire district, although a smaller dark cloud still follows me around in the form of every person I know asking me "so what was Gale talking about you for…?".

Things get quieter. Prim starts talking about going back to school. Now that we're not watching the Games every day or collecting sponsorship money, I don't see Peeta as often. I miss him; I'd grown used to his comforting presence, but at the same time, I have so much going on in my head I hardly even notice he's gone.

I hunt, as much as I can. It seems easy to feed just my family, after hunting double or triple my usual load, but now I turn my focus to preserving what we can for the winter. Most winters, we go hungry, at least a little bit. I hope this time will be different, thanks to my extra effort and the novelty of monthly Parcel Days. There hasn't been a Parcel Day in District Twelve in a quarter of a century, when Haymitch won.

I take what's left of my money pouch to Hazelle. Gale will be showered in wealth when he comes back home, so you could argue that my family needs it more, but it still seems like the right thing to do. Hazelle about sweeps me off my feet when she sees me at their doorstep. This time, I let her hug me, and I even tolerate it when she calls the boys in and they hug me too.

"We're so grateful, Katniss," she tells me tearfully. "I know it wasn't the turning point by any means, but those gifts you sent Gale…that means so much."

I shift from foot to foot uncomfortably. She makes it sound like I saved him, while that couldn't be further from the truth. Gale saved himself. Or Madge saved him. You could even make a case for pure luck saving him, and no one would be able to argue with you.

But me? I had no hand in it. I had to sit back and watch, just like everybody else.

"I'm just glad he's coming home," is all I say.

Hazelle smiles knowingly at me. "You must be so excited to see him!"

Her expression implies that I should react enthusiastically, but for some reason, I hesitate. "…I'm nervous," I confess. "I'm worried he's changed."

"It's only natural he changes. He's been through something very difficult." Is 'difficult' really a strong enough word for this situation? "…but you know Gale couldn't forget about you. Well, everybody knows!"

I clench my teeth as she brings that up. I've replayed Gale's words in my head a hundred times over, and they still don't make sense. Why call out to me specifically? The whole world was watching; what was so special about me?

Ugh. Between this, the sponsorship rally, and my scuffles with the Peacekeepers, I have had way too much public attention this month. I can't wait until all this blows over and I can go back to sliding under the radar.

"I don't know why he said that," I mumble, and luckily, Hazelle doesn't push the issue. She gives me another big hug and thanks me for the money, which will surely tide them over until Gale comes back home. I make an excuse and leave, running to the woods, the only place where things seem to make sense.

§

Even though the arena portion of the Games has ended, the show is not over yet. Gale has to do an exit interview with Caesar, and then they'll show a three-hour recap of the Games. It's mandatory viewing for the district citizens, even though we all already had to pay attention to the live broadcasts. I hate it- I always have. It's worse, to watch it from the beginning when you know what's coming. To know exactly how every one of the tributes- except for Gale, of course- will die.

What makes it bearable is that Peeta shows back up. He brings a bag of baked goods, like he used to before Gale got reaped, and Prim is ecstatic. She chatters like a jabberjay as we pile back onto the loveseat, three in a row like we always sat during the Games. It feels familiar in a world that has lately been entirely upside down.

I nibble halfheartedly on one of the sugar cookies Peeta brought us. It's delicious, of course- the same recipe he used on Reaping Day- and decorated beautifully, like a sunflower, but my stomach is in knots. I'm nervous to see Gale again, even just on the screen. My last interaction with him- if you can even call it that- has left me more confused than ever. Everything I thought I knew has changed.

I try to pay attention to Prim instead of my nerves- she has a way of calming me when nothing else can. She's telling Peeta about Lady's dramatic escape yesterday morning, which ended with one of Leevy's brothers tackling her right before she would have burst into the merchant side of town. I notice that, while Peeta responds as needed, he seems subdued- usually he bends over backwards for Prim, but today, he's quieter.

Concern floods over me. I scan his face and arms quickly, looking for any sign he might have been hurt. There's no sign of new bruising or gashes, and he wasn't limping when he arrived. My shoulders sag with relief. So he's not hurt. I chalk up the odd quietness to anticipation of the replay, which has been getting to me as well.

I shush everyone when Gale first appears on the screen. He takes up all my attention- and that of everyone in the Capitol too, judging by the whooping and screaming from the crowd. I can't believe how different he looks from the scruffy Gale I got used to seeing in the arena. The hollows in his cheeks have lessened even after only a few days of sufficient eating, and he's made-up perfectly with his jet-black hair neatly parted. He's dressed in a powder-blue suit that would have perfectly matched Madge's original interview dress, the one that was meant to symbolize the forget-me-nots in her mother's garden. It's like she's there with him.

Even that sad thought can't taint the sight of Gale, safe and alive, for me. I am awestruck, almost, as Caesar introduces him (which is really not necessary) and he takes his seat on center stage. That awe turns to surprise when Gale is borderline rude to Caesar throughout the whole interview. He gives blunt, one-word answers to every question ("fine" "three" "no") until the very end, when he says, "I apologize, Caesar. I'm just preoccupied with going home."

"Ah, of course you are," says Caesar, a terse smile on his face. I don't think he's had to interview anyone as uncooperative as Gale before. "Well, without further ado, let's begin…the seventy-fourth Hunger Games!"

The screen fades to black, then lights up again with images of tributes the arena. I cringe and wish I could look away, but there's nothing to do except endure.

It's hard to tell a story of multiple weeks in a matter of hours, but they manage it. It's a different kind of story than they usually tell. Not the tale of a bloodthirsty Career, not the saga of a master teenage strategist, but a love story. It's full of love and sacrifice, and it is just as much Madge's as it is Gale. It's meant to tug at the heartstrings, and if it works on me, I can only imagine how well it works on the largely-softhearted Capitol. I can't imagine what it does to Gale.

I'm grateful that they rush the ending. They gloss over Cato and Clove's deaths, which were drawn-out in real time, and they show more of Gale and Madge's last kiss than they do of her suicide. They don't show any of Gale's rant after the cannon, either, and that is the biggest relief to me. If the Gamemakers don't think it's important enough to show, well, maybe everybody else will forget about it too.

Caesar gives some closing comments while Gale looks rigidly uncomfortable. I can't help but feel sorry for him, even though I know Gale would despise my pity. I know he never wanted this, never asked to be in the Games or for his whole life to be put on display. He's had to pay a great price for his continued survival, and the rewards of winning- riches, fame, notoriety- could never make up for that.

I feel better now that I understand. That's what Gale and I do, understand each other.

For the first time, I let myself feel excited about him coming home.

§

Prim and I both have a hard time falling asleep that night. For me, it's the nerves, the anticipation of seeing Gale in person tomorrow. For Prim, it's the sugar cookies so close to bedtime. She's jumping and chattering like a squirrel. Even Buttercup, who loves Prim above all else, hisses in her direction after being displaced from the foot of the bed several times in a row.

"Sorry, Butters," my sister croons, scooping the mangy orange creature into her lap. She strokes his ragged ears and he immediately begins to purr. "Isn't he the sweetest, Katniss?"

"No," I say grouchily, tugging our quilt back to my side of the bed. "Shouldn't you be getting to sleep?"

"Shouldn't you?"

"It's hard when you keep talking."

"Mom's sleeping through it just fine."

"Mom can sleep through anything." Mom's also way further away from the chatterbox than I am, but I don't make that point right now.

Prim sighs and lets Buttercup go. He stalks away with his plume of a tail swishing, presumably in search of mice. This does not stop the chatterbox. "Gale's coming home tomorrow, isn't he?"

I nod mutely.

"You'll meet him at the train station, won't you?"

I just shrug.

"He'll want to see you!" Prim says encouragingly. "Don't you think?"

I guess I can't really deny that. Not after…nope, not thinking about that. "Oh, maybe. But there'll be a crowd…lots of people who want to see him…"

"Exactly! It would probably hurt Gale's feelings if everyone except you showed up."

I think Gale's feelings are a bit more durable than that, but it's hard to argue with Prim. Eventually, I say, "…well, I'm sure he'll want to see his family first. But I guess it wouldn't do any harm to go."

"I want to go too, but I'll stay out of the way," Prim assures me. Little does she know that is my plan as well. I don't want to interrupt Gale's reunion with his family, or worse, call more attention to myself in public. Our real reunion will be in the woods, the place I feel like I can be myself.

"Fine with me," I say. I roll over, and I force myself to fall asleep.

§

The train will arrive at noon. Prim insists we get there early, and good thing she does. The platform is already packed with people, all eager to greet Gale as soon as he steps off the train. I would be content to hover on the edge and wait my turn, but it doesn't work out that way. Vick Hawthorne spots me in the crowd, and his mother insists Prim and I join the immediate family at the very front of the platform.

So much for laying low.

We hear the train long before we see it. A whistle blares to announce its presence, and I can tell just by the sound that it's a Capitol bullet train, not one of the District Twelve rust buckets that brought the Hawthornes home. The Capitol always pulls out all the stops for the Victors- it's the closest thing a person can be to royalty.

The train pulls into the station, but Gale doesn't get out right away. The waiting makes me antsy. No matter how excited I am to see Gale, I'm nervous, too. So much has changed- what am I supposed to say to him? Not sorry for your loss; he doesn't want to be pitied. I'm glad you're back seems a little too personal. Maybe just hello? Is that a reasonable option?

The train doors slide open and Gale steps out, closely followed by his mentor and escort. My breath catches in my throat. He looks so different and yet entirely the same. His hair is styled and it's strange to see him in anything other than hunting clothes, but his eyes are just as they were. Hard and icy, as if carved from granite.

Those eyes lock onto mine as he finds me the crowd. I'm shocked by the intensity of the stare, and even more shocked when he runs at me, right in the middle of Effie's welcome speech. Panic shoots through me and my instinct is to run. Run? From Gale? Why? Maybe he wasn't even looking at me and he just really wants to hug his mom.

Nope, now he's kissing me. Kissing me. It knocks the air out of me and I don't know if I'm kissing him back or not but can you really expect me to be thinking clearly right now? I feel his arms wrap around me and even the clearest thoughts turn into mush.

All I asked for was him to make it out alive. That's all. I never considered the possibility of this, that he might want me like I spent so much time wanting him. It's beyond my comprehension. I don't have time to process it more than that before a murderous Haymitch rips Gale off me and stares me down.

"Are ya fuckin' stupid?" he demands of both of us, but he doesn't give us time to answer. He shoves Gale back towards the train and glares at me, eyes narrowed to slits. I feel like I'm seeing Haymitch for the first time. He looks more like a victor than he ever has before, not the old drunk I'm used to.

"Get out of here," he growls, and I feel the urge to slink away like a dog with its tail between its legs. Rather than actually slinking, I find Prim's hand and bolt, pushing past people freely and not stopping until we get back home.

Prim has been asking questions nonstop and I have answered none of them. Once I slam the door shut behind us, I cannot avoid a discussion, even though my brain feels like a thick soup right now and I definitely don't want to talk. I want to throw up or sit in a quiet room for a while.

"I just can't believe it!" Prim's voice has ascended to a higher octave than normal. "He kissed you! In front of everybody!"

"Thank you for reminding me," I grumble, resisting the urge to bang my head against the wall. In the moment, it was wonderful, but the kiss soured in my mouth immediately after. There's no denying I do want Gale to care for me in that way, but this isn't how it's supposed to happen. Not in a sloppy train station kiss, only a few days after Madge…

Even the smallest reminder of Madge is horrible. I feel like I've betrayed someone I never even knew. What kind of person does that make me?

"Did you know he was going to do that?" Prim asks softly, maybe seeing how distressed I am.

I shake my head fervently. "No. I had no idea."

Maybe I could have pieced it together, if I had ever allowed myself to consider the possibility. Him shouting my name should have been a clue, and the last thing I said to him was that I was in love with him. No wonder he thought a kiss was what I wanted.

…and it is what I wanted, right?

I squeeze my eyes shut. Of course it's what I want. It's what I've always wanted. So many things have changed, but deep down, my own heart is still the same. I have to hold onto that.

"You need to talk to him, Katniss," Prim says softly.

"You're right." As much as I want to argue with her, I don't. Nothing will make sense until I talk to Gale again- in private, this time. Then, I can find out if he kissed me because he loves me, if it seemed like a good idea at the time and he has since changed his mind, or if the Games have truly driven him mad and the Gale I know is gone entirely. "But I can't go now."

Prim nods along with me. "Right. Give him time to settle in."

…but not much time, because I'll go crazy if these thoughts keep dinging around in my head for any longer.

Right when I'm starting to feel better about the whole affair, Mother bursts in and informs me it was filmed and aired live. The urge to bang my head against a wall returns. I was too busy staring at Gale to notice the cameras, but really, how stupid can a person be? Effie was making a speech; of course they were filming it. Once again, I have embarrassed myself, and once again, everybody knows about it.

Prim seems to sense my distress and pats my back gently. "It's okay, Katniss, it'll all blow over soon. Maybe to pass the time, we can go to the bakery and-"

"No," I say abruptly. "No bakery."

I can't completely explain why, but seeing Peeta would be the worst possible thing right now. I can't face him. I can't look at him after…no.

"I'll just go out to the woods for a while," I decide. "I saw some turkey tracks this morning. Maybe I'll try following them."

I'm out the door before my family can disagree with me. I reach the woods; I track the turkeys. They're not easy to hunt, having the brains of a toddler but the flight instinct of a god, but I manage to bring one down. I take it to the Hob to trade, and, on a whim, I purchase a few bottles of white liquor from Ripper. Haymitch should be home by now; I can drop them off for him. Partially because it's my job and he pays me for it, partially because I feel that I owe him, now that he has brought Gale home.

I hate owing people. I always have.

I sneak into the Victor's Village even though I'm technically allowed to be there. The sense of not belonging is too strong for me to do anything else. I make a point of keeping my gaze to myself, not looking at the garbage dump that is Haymitch's yard and definitely not looking at the house next door, which is clearly being moved into.

I stand on Haymitch's doorstep and swallow my pride before rapping on the imposing wooden door. He bangs the door open just a moment later, almost knocking me off the porch. Judging by the crazy eyes, he's already hammered, even though he's only been home for a few hours. I hold the bottle out as an offering, trying to be polite. "Don't pay for this. Just…thank you for bringing Gale home."

He sneers at me and yanks the liquor out of my hands. "I'd keep that name out of your mouth if I were you, sweetheart."

Before I can even react- not that I know what I would have said- he slams the door on me again.

I don't know what else to do. I go back home and I lock myself away, hoping and praying Gale will have an explanation for all these things that have changed.

Haymitch is my favorite character to write. I don't know why. But if I ever had to write a whole story from his POV I would spontaneously combust.

STAY TUNED FOR THE LAST CHAPTER! I can't believe I've made it this far.