Coming from last time, we see how Shiva Samba is now holding back the Horsemen of the Apocalypse and the Knights of Salvation, to avoid having them try to murder the sh*t out of each other, "Quick presentations." Shiva Samba said and pointed to the dog sized creature "Pandora.", pointed to the metal one "Shanti.", pointed to the nurse "Miriada.", pointed to the glowing one "Liria." Shiva Samba finished, "Why did you call us here?" Pandora questioned, "Your colleagues started feeding off each other's aggression." Shiva Samba explained, "Again!?" Liria barked as she glared at the Horsemen, "We can't really control it you know?" Puria excused, "Well, we're done here now, how about-" Miriada was saying, but Hatsu stopped her "How about you stay and watch this with us?" She suggested, "Watch what?" Pandora asked and Shiva Samba put the last episodes and movies in their head, and Liria burst out laughing at them, "I'll take that as a yes." Hatsu concluded.
[DISCLAIMER]
KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.
(scene shows Gohan and Krillin on top of a cliff, overlooking Freeza with his men interrogating a Namekian village)
KRILLIN: Alright, Gohan, keep your power level down.
"Okay, smart." Fardie complimented.
GOHAN: Well I'm trying, but I can't seem to get it as low as yours, Krillin.
KRILLIN: But I haven't eve- I mean... yeah. (Pandora: He's not lowering it is he?/ Jo'on: Abso-f*cking-lutely not.) Like me.
GOHAN: Krillin, look! The Dragon Balls!
KRILLIN: Whoa, those things are huge! (Paint: Now that he mentions it, those things are quite big./ Virus: Yeah, I'd say about the size of a yoga ball./ Shakara: Still not as big as the super ones.) AC/DC be damned. Geez. These aliens are scary. (Shion: One of them looks like a durian, the other looks like a perfume mascot, and I can't take Frieza seriously with that lipstick./ Shanti: Sure, go off on the galactic tyrant.) Especially that one in the front. Looks like a total F.A.G.
"WTF!?" Shakara lamented, "Okay that's uncalled for!" Tauira stated, "Really uncalled for!" Avaritia agreed.
GOHAN: Krillin!
KRILLIN: What? A Freaky Alien Genotype. (Starrow: That's better! Slightly!) What'd you think I meant?
GOHAN: Oh, I thought you were calling him a derogatory term for homosexual.
"Yeah, that's what it sounded li-" Pandora was saying, but then.
KRILLIN: THAT THING'S A GUY?!
"He's hopeless." Pandora frowned, "Very much so." Lemus facepalmed.
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(scene shows Dodoria turning his head and looking upward, facing the direction where Krillin and Gohan are hiding)
DODORIA: Hm? What was that?
"I guess his ears work too well!" Thinner rubbed the back of his head, "I kind of want to see his ear structure..." Nezumi said as she thought about how to find the corpse.
(Krillin and Gohan are seen ducking; trying not to get spotted)
KRILLIN: Um... (off-screen) Quack!
"Oh my God..." Dreamiv blurted out, "Surely it won't work, do they even know what a duck is?" Starrow questioned.
DODORIA: Oh, it's just a space duck.
"They'll beat that into our face often." Starrow concluded, "At least it's funny." Hatsu pointed out.
MOURI: Who are you?
FRIEZA: Hello. Allow us to introduce ourselves. My name is Frieza, and we're a traveling improv group. (Lemus: Is he playing?/ Fardie: I don't approve of this./ Tauira: Me neither.) Here, let me give you a demonstration. My men shall play a group of drunken sailors, and you're a bunch of baby seals. (Jo'on: Oh my God.) Aaaand, go. (Zarbon murders two Namekians) Aaand, scene.
"...This is a mockery of theater..." Hatsu said with an obvious underlying anger.
MOURI: What do you want from us? Why are you slaughtering our people?
"He wanted to find a nice place for vacation." Shanti replied, "Are you being sarcastic?" Fardie asked, only to be met by an empty look, "I can't tell and it scares me." Fardie continued.
FRIEZA: Well, you see, I was just in the area and I thought this would be a delightful place for a summer home- what the f*k do you think I'm here for?
"Huh..." Pandora let out, "First time?" Avaritia asked.
MOURI: ...Our trees?
"Okay, now he's asking for it." Nezumi facepalmed, "That was never going to work." Takama agreed.
FRIEZA: ...Zarbon, two or three more.
ZARBON: Two or three more?
FREEZA: Two or three more.
(Zarbon murders two more Namekians)
"I hate this guy so much..." Shakara shook her head, "Coming from you that means literally everything." Liria eyes widened.
FRIEZA: Very good, Zarbon. See, why can't you be more like him, Dodoria?
DODORIA: Sorry. Just listening to the space duck.
"Pardon?" Lemus asked.
KRILLIN: (off-screen) Quack! Quack!
"He's still going!" Lemus exclaimed.
DODORIA: What a majestic creature.
"No, it's a really stupid one..." Oracle corrected.
FRIEZA: Now, then, all kidding aside... Where's the Dragon Ball?
MOURI: We don't have it.
"Oh damn!" Zettai exclaimed, "I don't know if that's courage or foolishness."Puria mused.
FRIEZA: You know, I'd be inclined to believe you if the last village elder didn't say the exact same thing... (Shiva Samba: Goodie...) until we killed everyone and tortured the information out of him, of course. (Shiva Samba: Higher goodie- What's his problem!?) It's the darnedest thing, too... You're beginning to remind me a lot of him.
"That should be the signal that they should start running or something." Nightmare King pointed out.
MOURI: Please. Do not be upset.
FRIEZA: Oh, I don't get upset. (Virus: I dectect that he's lying.) I have people to do that for me. (Virus: Yep.) Dodoria?
DODORIA: With gusto.
(Dodoria places the two Dragon Balls he is currently holding on the ground. Both Dende and Cargo cling onto Mouri while Dodoria stands up. Mouri glares at Dodoria, preparing for the worst, before Dodoria's scouter starts beeping.)
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: Stop right there!
(three Namekian warriors arrive at scene)
"Yay, more corpses..." Miriada fake cheered.
FRIEZA: Oh, look, more baby seals.
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: We're here to stop this senseless slaughter of our people.
"Two hundred seventy-five." Shakara said, "What?" Thinner questioned.
FRIEZA: Ninety-two...
"Oh he does that too." Shakara commented, "We don't get what you're doing..." Dreamiv elaborated for his brother in law.
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: This has gone on for too long. And now, you're going to pay.
"Wow, eight thousand seventy-six." Shakara said, "Are you counting? And why is that so close to- Oh what the hell..." Pandora blanked.
FRIEZA: Three hundred and fifty-five...
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: We are... We... What are you...?
"Me? I'm adding these to the number of times I heard these during the extinction missions." Shakara explained, "Extinction what!?" Jo'on yelped, "Basically the times when a species needs to go extinct, I take action and let me say these speeches are becoming quite dull." Shakara elaborated, "I don't know what I was expecting." Nightmare King blinked.
FRIEZA: No, go on. Continue. Don't mind me.
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: And... We are the ones who will stop you.
"Five... Surprisingly." Shakara raised an eyebrow, "That low?" Avaritia asked.
FRIEZA: Ooh, wow. Four hundred and nineteen.
"Taking scene this into consideration it's really weird" Shakara commented.
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: That's... (record scratch) What the hell are you doing?!
FRIEZA: Oh, sorry, it's a little hobby of mine. I hear these heroic speeches so wearily often. So I've started keeping a mental list of how many times I've heard certain lines.
"I just realized that people are as creative as a rock!" Paint exclaimed, "A rock is more creative than that." Shiva Samba corrected.
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: You... You insane bastard.
"Not once." Shakara smiled, "Really?" Virus asked, 'Yeah, I got those, but they're in the thousands and I lost count." Fardie explained.
FRIEZA: One hundred and ninety.
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: Yeah? Well, uh, we're going... to... F*K YOUR FACE!
"Now they're grasping at straws." Lemus muttered, "Fourteen" Tauira counted, "What the hell!?" Everyone yelped.
FRIEZA: Ohoho, my! Twelve.
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: (growls in anger)
FRIEZA: Zarbon, give the command.
"Lazy f*ck! Do it yourself!" Fardie scolded, "Wouldn't it be better if no one did?" Shanti asked.
ZARBON: Dodoria, give the command.
"A cavalcade of lazy f*cks!" Fardie exclaimed.
DODORIA: Get 'em.
(Frieza's soldiers begin charging at the Namekian warriors. The Namekian warriors seem to have the upper hand as they take down some of Frieza's soldiers one by one.)
"The green ones are good!" Pandora complimented.
GOHAN: Krillin, we have to help them!
KRILLIN: Gohan, we need to stick to the plan. Quack!
"Is quacking the plan!?" Starrow exclaimed in exasperation.
GOHAN: What plan? You just keep quacking over and over.
KRILLIN: And we're still alive!
"It actually is!" Starrow put her hands in her hair which started catching fire, "Calm down dear!" Avaritia soothed.
(The Namekians warriors continue to fight off Frieza's men)
ZARBON: Sir, they seem to be stronger than we thought.
FRIEZA: Oh, how cute. They can hide their little power levels.
"Yeah, big deal..." Puria looked away knowing there were some people glaring at her right now.
(explosion occurs with the scream of an unlucky soldier)
DODORIA: Kinda killing our guys.
FRIEZA: Oh, we have more of those things back at the ship. (Nightmare King: Yeah, I don't think that's the point.) It's not like we're losing anything valuable.
(Mouri destroy Dodoria's scouter along with a scouter lying on the ground and a scouter from a dead soldier)
"What about now you horned bastard?" Lemus asked.
FRIEZA: (closes his eyes and groans)
MOURI: Hah! Now you can no longer find our villages!
FRIEZA: Dodoria. Kill them.
"There might be some slaughter." Nezumi commented.
DODORIA: 'Kay.
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: Come on, bring it! There's three of us, and one of you!
"Oh my Goooood..." Shakara, Lemus, Takama and Fardie groaned, "I hate when people say that..." Fardie commented.
DODORIA: Man, you must suck at math even worse than me.
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: What do you mean?
DODORIA: There's only TWO of you.
"No, there are-" Oracle started.
NAMEKIAN WARRIOR: That's not right... (gets impaled by Dodoria) Gaaaaaah!
"Now there are too." Oracle grimaced.
(scene shifts to Capsule Corporation with Goku arriving and jumping off Nimbus)
MRS. BRIEFS: (throws a watering can) Goku! It's been too long!
"Is that Bulma's mom?" Thinner asked, "Yes." Nezumi confirmed, "How is she so young when Bulma looks to be in her twenties?" Thinner asked further, "That I got no clue." Nezumi replied.
GOKU: Hi there, Mrs. Briefs!
MRS. BRIEFS: Oh, Goku, you can call me what everyone else calls me.
GOKU: What's that?
MRS. BRIEFS: MILF. (Dreamiv: What?/ Tauira: I feel called out./ Paint: Me too./ Oracle: Likewise.) I have no idea what it means, but it's just the cutest little name.
DR. BRIEFS: Well, you are quite the MILF, honey. Now what are you doing out of the kitchen?
"For f*cks sake!" Avaritia lamented.
MRS. BRIEFS: Oh, my mistake!
DR. BRIEFS: Remember what I told you, sweetie:
DR. and MRS. BRIEFS: Wives are for kissing, not talking! (both of them start laughing while Goku looks absentmindedly)
"These two might be made for eachother." Lemus tilted his head, "An airhead and a sexist scientist, yeah they are." Liria agreed.
MRS. BRIEFS: Have fun, you two!
GOKU: (entering the spaceship) Wow. Is this the ship?
DR. BRIEFS: Well, Bulma told me to start on it while you were in the hospital. In case anything went wrong.
GOKU: Krillin?
"I love how it's just known that Krillin is a screw up." Zettai commented, "It kind of feels like a low blow." Shion admitted.
DR. BRIEFS: Krillin. The good thing is it's almost all done.
GOKU: Wow! This is just the best day ever!
"For him anyways." Anomaly rolled their eyes.
(Scene shifts to Planet Namek with Dodoria headbutting a Namekian warrior into a cliff, killing him. Mouri looks in horror at his fallen comerade.)
DODORIA: Whoops. Looks like I miscounted. I must be having an off day.
FRIEZA: Bravo, Dodoria. (to Mouri) Now, seeing as we have no one left to threaten you with... (notices Dende and Cargo) Oh, wait. what are those adorable little things over there?
"That's horrible!" Nightmare King exclaimed, "Just another day at the office." Shakara solemnly said.
MOURI: You wouldn't...
FRIEZA: They're just so cute, though. I could just pinch their little heads off. (Dreamiv: The fact that he literally can.) Are you going to make me do that? Because at this point I could go both ways.
ZARBON: As could I, Lord Frieza.
"I hope he dies, this is making me really uncomfortable." Jo'on grimaced.
MOURI: (handing Frieza the Dragon Ball) Fine. Here. Take the ball. And leave us be.
KRILLIN: (one of Frieza's henchmen is seen taking the Dragon Ball) See, Gohan? He's handing over the Dragon Ball. Now no one else has to die.
"Oh my me Krillin, shut up!" Shiva Samba begged, "It's like he's asking for horrible stuff to happen!" Oracle pointed at the bald dwarf.
FRIEZA: Oh, just one more question. Could you point us in the direction of the next village? You seem to have destroyed our scouters!
"And there it is!" Shiva Samba facepalmed.
MOURI: That wasn't part of our deal!
"This one I kept count! 6231." Fardie exclaimed
FRIEZA: And five hundred! (Dende and Cargo start to run away) Dodoria, show them what they've won!
(Dodoria fires a mouth blast at Cargo, killing him. Mouri, Krillin, and Gohan are all horrified at what they had just witnessed.)
"He didn't even hesitate..." Miriada whispered horrified.
GOHAN: Krillin, he's killing them!
KRILLIN: Happy thoughts, Gohan! Happy thoughts!
"What happy thoughts!? Yay! People are dying!" Pandora mocked.
MOURI: You... You killed my son!
DODORIA: Yeah, sorry about that. How 'bout I do you a favor? (disappears)
MOURI: Huh? (Dodoria appears behind Mouri and murders him by snapping his neck)
"What the- At least look him in the face!" Shakara scolded, "Yeah! If you gotta kill someone do it properly!" Nezumi agreed.
DODORIA: There. Now you won't miss him.
(Gohan is starting to become angry)
FRIEZA: Oh, and while you're at it, could you deal with the rest?
(Dende turns around and starts to run away, but Dodoria easily cuts off his escape. Gohan is seen trying to control his anger)
DODORIA: I really do love kids. They don't leave much of a mess.
"I hope he dies in the most painful way!" Avaritia growled.
KRILLIN: (trying to calm Gohan down) Breathe, Gohan. You're a leaf... A leaf in a calm stream...
GOHAN: (pissed) F*K THE STREAM! (leaps from the cliff)
DODORIA: The hell was...
(Gohan kicks Dodoria in the face, sending him flying into a Namekian house)
"Go Gohan!" Takama cheered
DODORIA: Did I just get hit by a bowl cut?
(Krillin kicks Dodoria in the face and grabs Dende)
KRILLIN: Quack! (Dreamiv-Lemus: Stop it!) (both him and Gohan fly away)
FRIEZA: Zarbon... What the hell was that?
ZARBON: I believe that was the space duck, sir.
"Again with the duck? There's no duck at all!" Starrow insisted.
(scene shifts to planet Earth with an outside view of a Capsule Corp. spaceship)
GOKU: (walking around inside the ship) This ship is awesome! Now, where's that button that makes blueberry muffins?
"Button that does what?" Virus asked, "Can something like that even exist?" Thinner asked, "It would take rearranging the neutrons and protons to do that, but on a ship like that? No." Oracle denied.
DR. BRIEFS: There is no button like that. I never even considered that.
GOKU: Are you sure? It'd be really nice to wake up in the morning, push a button, and have muffins. That'd be great. Wink. Wink.
DR. BRIEFS: Dammit, there is no muffin button!
"That is too bad." Tauira frowned.
GOKU: Darn. So, is it ready to take off then, Dr. Briefs?
DR. BRIEFS: Goodness no! I still have to install the cappuccino machine!
"Why would you put a coffee machine, but not a muffin one?" Anomaly asked, "Cause who needs breakfast?" Takama responded.
GOKU: But... But I don't even drink coffee!
"It's cappuccino not coffee!" Starrow reprimanded, "Are you this worked up because you drink at least a gallon of coffee a day?" Avaritia asked, "You do what!?" Everyone exclaimed in shock.
DR. BRIEFS: It's not coffee, Goku, it's cappuccino. (Starrow: Exactly!/ Lemus: You have a serious problem.) Now stay here; I need to grab the parts from my shop. Make sure not to touch anything, like the gravity controls. (Virus: Why even put gravity controls if he can't use them?/ Hatsu: Plot.) Or the Start button. The Start button. (Miriada: Wait, he's showing him the button./ Shion: oh no.) Don't touch... the Start button. Now I'll be right back. (leaves the ship)
"No, wait. *Sighs.*" Nightmare King sighed, "This can only end badly." Paint frowned.
GOKU: Okey Dokey. (after a short pause) I wonder if this is the button. (Pandora: Damnit! He doesn't even know what the button is anymore!) (pushes the Start button, causing the ship to takeoff into space) WHEEEEEEEEE!
DR. BRIEFS: No! Goku! He's blasted himself off into space! What has science dooone?! (Oracle: ...Sent someone to space?/ Puria: Yeah, what's the big deal?) Sweetie, I do not see a sandwich with that beer.
"Yep, of course." Tauira frowned.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(scene shifts to outer space with Goku's spaceship flying towards the sun)
GOKU: (from inside the spaceship) Mmmm, those muffins smell like they're almost done!
"Muf- Next episode, please." Nezumi begged, "Yeah, the muffin talk is getting stale." Paint agreed, "Alright." Hatsu responded as she pressed next.
