"Heeey Hirog, want to come watch me fire this pistol at a cactus?" he asked the next day, as if he didn't know the answer. It was a struggle not to laugh at the astonishment flying across his face. The kid was still wiggling with excitement. It had Naruto grinning a hundred yards out of town; a kitchen girl's wage wasn't exactly heavy, he assumed, outings and surprises had to be rare for the poor kid.

They stopped with the dozen odd buildings of town just in sight through the hazy air; it would be dangerous to go farther.

Getting lost in the desert wasn't easy, but the land didn't take long to kill ya. His canteen was already half empty, and it was a big canteen. Fortunately, they'd found their target. A nice, thick cactus, nearly as wide as him and twice as tall. Even had a few narrow arms in case he wanted to up the challenge.

Trying to curtail his own excitement, less he look uncool in front of the booger-eating toddler, he drew the gun as smoothly as he could. Taking a deep breath as he leveled it. Arms straight, knees bent, and feet shoulder-length apart. He mentally checked off the list of instructions Tsunade had given him. All that was left was to look down the metal site and-

"Wait! Mr. Naruto!" Hirog cried, making him spasm in shock.

"What?" he asked, daring to even sound a little annoyed.

"Shouldn't you be practicin closer? The cactus is waaay farther away than the clubhouse! Won't you shoot the bad guys inside there?" Naruto glanced back at the town and then at the cactus twenty yards away. The kid actually made a good point.

Though he'd probably never be firing it inside, crowds and all. Though dirt walls should be safe enough. Firing it in the basement might be necessary, as recent events had made so clear.

He shuddered briefly.

"You're so smart Hirog; we should get closer," he agreed. Closing a bit more than half the distance, trying to mentally eyeball how far the road would be from him posted up by the Saloon's front-facing window. After all, shooting someone in a bedroom would be easy, he assumed, this was much worthier of practice! You never knew when some posse of unemployed losers would turn bandit and ride through town with guns out. Tsunade struck him as the kind to shoot back, and expect such of her guards. Carefully, he got into stance again. "Cover your ears little guy!"

The sound that blasted over the landscape had him dropping the weapon to do so as well.

"HOLY FUCK!" he bellowed over his ringing ears, sighing in relief as the unpleasant humming quickly faded away. Hirog was laughing manically as it did. Glancing over at him seemed to spur him to uncover his ears and speak.

"SO LOUD!" he declared before falling into a fresh fit of giggles.

"Yeah, no kidding," he mumbled. It never occurred to the young man just how loud one of these things must be up close. All his experience with gunshots was far from him, usually on the other side of a wall.

This was part of the job though. It's not as if he would have time to plug his ears with cotton or candle wax before an emergency at the brothel demanded he use this thing. He dropped back into proper form.

"Cover your ears!" he demanded, this time making sure to steal a glance and confirm obedience before firing. It would have been smart to have done that the first time, come to think of it. The boy complied and smiled wide as Naruto turned back to the innocent spike-covered plant.

He opted to fire his remaining four bullets two at a time. Tsunade had suggested as much for a real emergency and he'd wager she knew more about using a gun than he did; just about everyone did, apparently. Fuck he was glad that nobody but Hirog saw him drop the thing.

Two ear-stabbing blasts!

A deep breath and straightening of his posture.

Two more!

Hirog was laughing hysterically once again when it was done, making him just a bit bitter about the powerful ache trailing from his wrist all the way up to his shoulders. Not to mention the newly refreshed ringing in his ears. Stepping closer showed that four of the shots had hit, three of them leaving visible holes through the sturdy plant. Hirog got a fresh dose of amazement looking through them when Naruto lifted him up, but alas, they couldn't stay long. Not with the water more than half gone.

They weren't two minutes into their walk home before the sweet kid spoke up.

"Did you kill the cactus?" he asked abruptly, concern clear in his tone.

"Oh nah, I doubt it; those things are fuc-super hardy," he assured. "I've seen smaller ones then that survive having a third of their top cut off. That's a good thing to know out here too; if you're ever desperate for water, just cut off the spikey outer layer, squeeze the inside real tight in a bandana or something, and you can get a fair bit of water. You can even eat the flesh of it afterwards," he continued.

"Is it yucky?" Hirog asked, seeming freed from his guilt.

"Tastes kind of like a cucumber; you've probably eaten it at some point," he rambled off what few dishes he knew that called for the cheap vegetable as they made their way home, a topic that seemed much more interesting to the kid than he'd ever expect. So much so that he even brought him back to the kitchen to bother his mother, the cook.

"Mommy! Mommy, have I ever ate a cactus? Have you ever put it in our stew? What other food use it?"

"Sorry," Naruto added jovially to the sweat-soaked woman standing over the stove.

"Why are you so interested all of a sudden, sweety?" she asked with a tired grin and a small blush.

"Mr. Narto told me they're super strong; he said you can chop them up without killing them and then eat them and that the one he shot a bunch would be fine it wouldn't die," he rambled off.

Hinata blinked.

"He….told you about shooting a cactus?" she asked, something straining her voice.

"Yeah Tsunade wanted me to go get familiar with the revolver," he explained, pulling out the empty weapon and failing to notice the look of deep distress in Hinata's face. That's especially unfortunate given his next sentence. "I figured watching me take a few shots would be a blast for the little goob!"

"Naruto!" she gasped, sounding angry for perhaps the first time.

"What?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"I do not want you to treat guns like some kind of toy in front of my child!"

"All I did was ask if he wanted to come watch me test it," he defended.

"Killing wildlife like it's a game in front of him is not okay!" she shot back, still hot.

"Okay, first I didn't kill anything; I shot a sturdy plant. Second, I didn't do this for a game; I did it because my boss, I'm sorry, our boss, specifically told me to. Third, your kid's like five; you're seriously telling me he's never seen a gun or heard a shot?" he deadpanned. Staring back into her scowling face until she broke eye contact.

"Hirog, you're staying in the kitchen for the rest of the day; we need to talk," she said, pointedly ignoring Naruto as she turned to the boy. Naruto just scoffed and turned to leave. Hirog called out in protest, but Hinata was already shushing him. It seemed best for him to just go, though he was still bitter about the scolding. Still sure he'd done nothing wrong.

Maybe Tsunade would give him some praise, maybe even something more, but she wasn't in her office when he poked his head in. The young man found his mood still quite sour as he sat at the bar. He hoped in some part of his brain that Hinata or Hirog would come out and return to him, but the likelihood of that fell lower and lower with each passing minute.

It was a half hour later or so that the stool beside him pulled out. Sakura scared the shit out of him by quietly taking a seat and staring blankly at the wall in front of her. She was still wearing her casual dress, more a sleeping robe really. Not that her 'work outfit' had stopped her from kicking his ass last time.

"Um…"

"I just wanted to thank you, for yesterday, helping Ino," she explained without looking left.

"Oh, yeah of course, it's my job, right?" he assured her.

"Right,"

"…You two seem pretty close," he continued when she didn't leave.

"...Yes. My parents sold me here when I was just a teen. Didn't even warn me in advance. I was terrified and angry and heartbroken and she… ha, she said we had the greatest damn job in the world. I fucking hated her for it. Eventually, everything I was holding back exploded out. I screamed at her for I don't know how long and she just smiled. Then she decided the problem must be that I'd clearly never had sex properly before. Dragged me upstairs while I was still stunned by the invitation and... It was the first time in years that I felt... good. I don't even know how she knew I liked women," she reminisced, a small smile growing on her face by the end.

Naruto was unsure what to say, baffled about why she was telling him so much.

"She's the only reason I survived; I'm sure of it. Every day I had my own little fan cheering me on, purring and complimenting me, appreciating all the things everyone else always shat on. My temper, my violent side… my mind. Rambling on and on about my favorite books while she cuddled up to me at night is how I fell in love with her. So yes, we're close," she surmised, finally turning those powerful green eyes on him.

"She seems really special," he offered uncertainly.

"She's incredible," Sakura corrected tersely, bringing a little fear back as her eyes bore into his. "I owe you one for not running when it got scary," she finished before standing up and strolling off without waiting for a response.

Naruto found himself smiling too.

Although it became a bit more flustered when the empty seat was immediately occupied by the woman Sakura had just fawned so tenderly over. Ino was smiling brightly. Moreover, she was dressed to the nines and leaning in close enough for him to smell the distinctly flowery scent wafting off of her.

"Hey, Ino," he offered delicately.

"Hey there, big guy," she spoke slowly, drawing his eyes to the faint shine of her peach-pink lips. "I never did thank you for yesterday,"

"Of course," he brushed off. "You're doing all right? You seemed prett-"

Oh, it's nothing. A-a little freaky in the moment, but it's all part of the job," she waved away convincingly. Even so, Naruto was skeptical. His mind lingered on the heavy, full-body sobs he left her with last night; about how frightening the situation was to him and how much more intimidating that shitstain must have been for the woman smaller than him.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay," he answered honestly.

She leaned in at that.

Her powerful, azure-blue eyes bore into his. They were just a shade darker than the faint sky blue of her dress; maybe, the question caused his eyes to bounce back and forth briefly. That and the hearty bosom that was poking out the top of said dress.

Naruto coughed.

"You uh, have a special client or something? Isn't the place closed today?" he asked, earning a laugh before his answer.

"Yeah, it is; I have the whole day off!" she declared excitedly, placing a single finger on his hand as she continued. "I was thinking I could give you a… massage or something; thank you properly,"

"You really don't have to do that," he assured, like a dumbass. "I mean, like Sakura said, it's my job!"

Ino stared blankly for a moment. The experienced courtesan was unsure if she was rejected or if she had simply overestimated the intellect of her savior. Crawling the rest of her hand over his, squeezing, and watching the powerful blush grow back suggested the latter. She laughed briefly in disbelief.

"Yeah, your job. You're really good at your job, aren't you?" she didn't wait for an answer. "I am too! If you'd rather, alternatively, we could go upstairs and fuck like bunnies so you can see for yourself, or something," she shook her head playfully with the last words, eyes wide and mocking.

Naruto was unsure how long he froze processing these words, but Ino just started and smiled coyly as he did.

Then, silently, he stood.

Ino followed.

X

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***REMEMBER EVERYONE TOO YOUNG OR DUMB TO BE READING THIS, EROTICA TAKES PLACE IN A MAGICAL WORLD WITHOUT STDS, WEAR A RUBBER FOR GOD'S SAKES***

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