8264a: "But I wanted to practice in case that Romulan harlet comes back." ~ Enterprise E
Two years now had passed since Thunder Child had reintroduced the 'ancient naval art of RAMMING' to a select cadre of students, and while this was still a tactic not commonly deployed (barring certain outliers such as HMS Campbeltown), it had at least gone a long way in removing the stigma associated with this crudest of naval CQC techniques. Now as things stood, numerous members of that original class had reconvened at Thunder Child's invitation, perhaps with a couple of newcomers as well.
"It is good to see you all again, brave and proud sisters!" the torpedo ram announced, addressing them all in that endearingly chivalrous manner of hers. "And perhaps a handful of brothers, if mine eyes deceive me not," she added, for in addition to her previous White Star Line student, SS Kronprinz Wilhelm had also deigned to join them, though Thunder Child had to keep a sharp eye on him in case he managed to swindle valuables off one of the shipgirls. Commerce raider habits died hard, it seemed.
"Regardless! You are all gathered here in answer to my call, are we not?" she continued, looking over her erstwhile students with a proud gleam in her eyes. "It has come to my attention that the Admiralty is restricting the use of ramming as an offensive tactic against the enemy fleet. An understandable and necessary evil, to be sure, that you not incur unnecessary damages! But it has doubtless left not a few of us in need of practice as regards to making use of our own momentum as a weapon. Hence my invitation, and my proposal!"
Thunder Child cleared her throat, a broad grin evident on her face as she made her case. "Let us pit ourselves one against the other, as once was done by the Greek ships of old!"
There was a moment of confused silence, before Buckley spoke up. "You mean, ram each other for practice? Like a fight club, but for ramming? A ramming club?" "It is precisely that!" Thunder Child nodded sagely, evidently quite pleased with her little proposal to keep the art of the ram alive and well among the various shipgirl fleets of the world. "Naturally of course, it would be on a navy-by-navy basis as we later go our separate ways but first, as we are all congregated in this one area, let us this once inaugurate the Impactful Society of Naval Rams with some good old-fashioned single combat!"
Cheers erupted from the shipgirls who had joined her in the successful ramming sortie against Rock Fortress Princess and Island Siege Princess. "DENIED!" a voice cried out, causing more than a couple pairs of eyes to turn in the direction of whoever had yelled.
Who else would it have been but HMS Royal Oak, the constant damper on Thunder Child's madcap Don Quixote-esque sallies into teaching the newer generations the old ways of jousting and ramming, and surprisingly enough trailing alongside her was none other than HMS Hood. "This has got to stop, Thunder Child!" Royal Oak half-pleaded, half-demanded, the expression on her face nothing short of exasperated. "The last thing we need is to be encouraging our own shipgirls to go hog fucking wild on each other and possibly sending each other to the docks more than should be necessary."
"Besides, have you seen the Times Campbeltown Went St Nazaire tally board? And that's without me grabbing hold of her and using her as a bludgeon!" Hood said, earning a bit of a proud cackle from the destroyer notorious for concussing herself on multiple occasions. "You stop that immediately young lady, resummoning you repeatedly is not good for our resources budget andrepeatedly watching you make a fiery last stand is traumatizing our colleagues!" the battleship added, casting a sharp glare in her charge's direction.
"I will reiterate my perpetual objection once more," Thunder Child insisted, frowning just a tad as she folded her arms over her mailclad chest. "I have been ramming for my entire service career and it has always served me well. Why should they who have been involved in accidental collisions not turn this propensity into a strength?" "Because not all of us are built to ram!" Hood answered, now stepping up to the torpedo ram to look her squarely in the eye. "Just because everyone here was capable of damaging via collision doesn't mean they're potential ramming candidates! Damaged bows, warped keels, need I go on?" "We've said this before Thunder Child, be reasonable," Royal Oak followed up, backing up her fellow battleship's words. "No Ramming Clubs, otherwise who knows how much more use the docks will be seeing?"
The torpedo ram huffed a little, before letting out a sigh and conceding defeat this time. "Very well, very well, I will stand down. This meeting is adjourned, the society must disband for now!" she announced in a loud voice, to general groans of disappointment from the more ram-happy folks in the crowd. But when Thunder Child turned to address the two battleships directly, her voice was lowered in volume, and there was a bit of a cheeky tone to the way she spoke to them. "But I will have you know that should my students take it upon themselves to arrange matters on a more informal basis, it will not be within my grounds to bring them back in line. Good day to you both now!"
As she left, Royal Oak caught sight of what appeared to be one of the spacefleet girls grousing about the official disbanding of the Impactful Society. "But I wanted to practice in case that Romulan harlot comes back!" the starship USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-E) was saying to her partner, prompting a quiet facepalm from the battleship as she and Hood beat a speedy retreat out of there. A starship engaging in ramming? God help them all, the momentum involved would be nothing short of devastating!
