Rule by The Budgie Admiral
12685: There is no nautical term known as "yeet speed". It is wrong to tell new summons this.
Kuwa was, by all measures important for a destroyergirl, and by all standards applicable to her, obsolete. She hadn't been the top of the line during her hay day already, her classes' design having been rushed due to a stipulation by her government, and therefor, she had been all but identical to her Momo-class sisters. Really, what did fifteen tons of added weight even mean in the realms of warships, and why had Momo so incessantly teased her about it in her past life!
She of course had expected technology to march on after her demise, but nothing could have prepared her for the sheer scale of the modern world a century after her commissioning. Tokyo was dotted with pillars of glass, reaching skyward like the most fragile of trees, and yet she was told they'd endure earthquakes and storms in perfect safety. Humanity had grown to an extent she would never have believed, large enough to put a strain on the entire world's ecosystem.
But Kuwa was a warship, and therefor, what had shocked her the most was the size and power that more modern ships had reached. She recalled that she had not believed it when Enoki-neesama had told her about the size of modern destroyers. And really, who would blame her! TEN TIMES her displacement and more? What even was a gas turbine?
She considered herself lucky in the regard that most of her comrades in Yokosuka seemed to find her constant and incessant wonder of the new world absolutely adorable and encouraged it wherever possible. The American destroyers especially seemed really pleased to have the opportunity to flaunt their technological marvels to the new-summon, and shared many a story about their achievements in both their lives.
Today, Kuwa found herself 'claimed' by the US shipgirls stationed at Yokosuka, who had been so kind to invite her to their table for breakfast. In fact, the 'invitation' had seemed more like a heated discussion between the Americans and the Japanese destroyers to determine who would get to share her company today. Kuwa found this rather bothersome, she didn't want to be the center of such ire and envy, but who was she to talk up to her seniors? Besides, she liked all the girls, no matter their nationality.
"So basically,", Harder continued her tale of a recent operation, "I'm sitting on the surface shadowing these cruisers. Not ready for a dive, yeah? And suddenly, I hear the sound of plane engines, look up, and lo and behold, some-fucking-how, there's three dive bombers headed right for me!"
Kuwa gasped quietly as she fiddled with her cutleries, her face the perfect image of a child when the father told her stories of his adventures in the great wide world.
"Of course, I immediately go to panic mode-"
"Soiled her swimsuit.", Hoel quietly commented with a cheeky snicker.
"HEY!",Harder fired back.
"Anou…", Kuwa said, her voice quiet and shaky, and a shy blush on her cheeks. She was getting between the fronts of a fight she didn't want to be involved with!
"I mean, she did it once at- OW!"
A snip to the head from Heerman shut up the errand Taffy member.
"We're eating here. Stop it with the details!", her sister complained. That seemed to settle the debate, as Hoel grumbled something under her breath and settled back in her chair with a pouting face.
"Well, uh, anyways, so I am there thinking my life's forfeited now, when I hear a loud scream from behind me and this mad brute here-" She points her fork at New Jersey, who is busy murdering her food with her eyes, "-comes and catches me in a flying tacke hug. Thus shoving me out of the way of the bombs. She must've put on the yeet speed for me."
"The… what?"
Kuwa was visibly confused now. Was this an American term she had never heard of? What did it mean?
"Oh, the yeet speed!"
Now it was Heerman's term to speak up again.
"Yeah, the Iowas do that when they're hunting someone down or something. You don't wanna mess with a battleship doing thirty five knots. But others can have it too, I remember I used that at Sam-"
"T-thiry five!?"
The mess hall fell silent at the shout. Kuwa felt a shiver run down her spine. Her eyes were as wide as saucers, and her adorable face had turned pale. What's more, she seemed to have gone completely unresponsive.
"Uh…Kuwa? Yo."
New Jersey leant over the table, extended an impressively long arm over and waved her hand in front of Kuwa's eyes. There was no reaction.
"Aww balls, I think we broke her…", Harder sighed.
v
Ever since that day, little Kuwa had developed the urge to learn everything she could about this phenomenal new technology, she had become enthralled by the prospect of achieving this legendary 'yeet speed', and had decided that she was going to make it her goal to learn how to master it!
If this practice or whatever it was made a battleship achieve such speeds, how fast could a slim, light destroyer become?
Therefor, the next day found her in Akashi's workshop, staring into the eyes of a thoroughly puzzled repair ship.
"Uh… You want what?", she asked, the tools in her hands forgotten.
"I want to learn yeet speed! I, Kuwa, want to become the fastest destroyer around!"
"The fastest, huh?", Akashi said, raising a doubtful eyebrow. What, was she doubting her abilities? Kuwa felt hurt inside, after all, her almost 32 knots were nothing to scoff at for her time!
"Well I'm sorry, but as you see I'm a bit busy here. I suggest bothering Shimakaze. She knows all about speed."
With that, Akashi returned her attention to Suzuya's open turret. The cruiser waved at Kuwa and blushed. Kuwa waved back awkwardly before taking her leave.
v
"You want to learn about speed?", the scantily dressed destroyer responded to her question. Her expression didn't change, but it was like someone had ignited a fire in her eyes and - were those flames in the whites of her eyes!?
"Leave it to me."
Something told Kuwa that this may not have been the best idea, but she ignored the voice, since it was all to achieve her one true goal: Yeet speed.
v
Since three days now, Kuwa had been consumed entirely by her quest for yeet speed. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't break past the 32 knot barrier, even with a slight wind from behind. The sheer dishonour at being outpaced by a battleship made her guts churn. To be fair, that might also have been the copious amounts of that green energy drink Shimakaze had suggested, the one that caused her engineers to complain that it was clogging up her boilers.
But she had no choice! Not if she was to achieve the one goal she had set for herself!
Once more, she revved up her turbines as she sprinted out to sea. Steam pipes groaned and gears screeched as she pushed past her design speed. She glanced at her speedometer: 31 knots.
Come oooon, more, mooore!
As she watched, the needle climbed ever so slowly, to 31 and a half, and then, millimeter by millimeter, to 32.
No, use, I need more pressure! More fuel!
She took another long swig from the two liter bottle, only to notice that it was all but empty now.
Nothing for it, then. Now or never! YEET SPEEED!
v
"So what have we learned?", scolded an annoyed Akashi as she fumbled with the settings for the repair bath.
"No speed trials... Got it."
"No, listen to your engineers when they tell you that your boilers are crippled! You're lucky it didn't pop!"
"How, uh…", Heerman asked awkwardly, her eyes switching from Akashi to Kuwa and back to the repair ship.
"How bad is it?"
"Well, could've been worse.", the fleet technician responded with a sigh, closing a valve.
"Cracked steam pipes should be easy enough to repair. The overstressed gears are no big deal either, just takes a bit of time. The dirty boilers on the other hand…"
She turned away from the set of valves and shot Kuwa the glance of an angry mother, baffled by the stupidity of her kid's ideas.
"You're on a diet, missie! Raw, high quality fuel oil only for the next month!"
Heerman lowered her eyes before turning to Kuwa and giving her an apologetic smile.
"Sowwie... Y-you can still eat with us if you want."
"Um... Thank you very much, Heerman-san!", Kuwa responded with a gleam in her eyes.
