Rule by TheBudgieAdmiral
13067: We (the Admiralty) are aware of the Iowas' emergency stopping technique. Yes, it involves turning their rudders in opposite directions. No, any lewd remarks or names for this technique will not be tolerated!
The situation was getting desperate. Twenty days away from anything to distract a gaggle of bored destroyers! Twenty! Wisconsin had to admit, the boredom was getting hard to bear even for her. And she had a grumpy voice in her head to chat with.
First victim of the girls' boredom had been the batteries in their various electronic gizmos. Within two days, their phone batteries had been entirely depleted. Wisconsin's offer to play with her 90s era Gameboy had been turned down with snob disgust at first, but after a few days its battery, too, had been sucked dry by the desperate destroyers.
Next in line was the candy. That went really well for about five minutes, until Asashio threatened to make every girl who ate more than one a day exercise off the additional displacement.
So, when Craven pulled up alongside the battleship, Wisconsin sensed that she was about to be the target of some nasty, highly concentrated boredom.
"Yo Wisky... Uh, Stack and me have been talkin', yeah?", she starts and gestures towards her Benham-class compatriot, "And we came on the topic of [REDACTED]."
There was a considerable pause. Wisconsin, baffled, blinked once, then twice, then began to stutter. The adorable fluffy-haired murderball of a Gridley-class didn't strike her as a girl prone to do... that kind of thing.
"Spreading... your- what!?"
"[REDACTED]?"
Wisconsin's face achieved tomato status.
"[REDACTED]'s the word, right? Wonder how you weren't all flustered by that."
"W-what are you talking about!", Wisky finally burst out, furious. What did that girl think she was, some lowly stripper?!
"We just thought it would be cool, ya know? To come to a stop so fast!"
And just like that, it clicked in Wisconsin's head. Of course, in her eagerness, the girl had completely misconstrued the facts of the maneuver. She also had a mouth dirty enough that she'd need to wash it out with industrial desinfectant. But at least her intentions had been pure... Right?
"Okay. Firstly. Don't ever say that to a lady again. Like, really, what the fuck? And secondly, I turned my rudders inwards! Inwards! How do you even... My, my words fail me."
"Sorry, Wisky."
For once, Craven was looking sincerely sorry. She sighed and nudged Wisky in the side with a friendly smirk.
"Anyways, can you show me?"
"No. I'll, uh, show you when you're old enough."
"But you said it isn't-"
"When you're old enough!"
