13070: Not allowed to get into custody battles over the rovers! The Admiralty has enough issues as it is!
13071: Taking to the media with a load of old Mars memes is a low blow Terra and you ought to be ashamed of yourself!

"Admiral, we have a problem!"

Admiral Briggs sighed and set down the nice science fiction novel he was reading. The day had been going so well too. "What kind of problem?" He asked. "Archerfish isn't going on a bender again is she?"

"Eh no, she just got done with her last one." Constellation replied, wincing at the mention of the grief stricken sub. Archerfish had taken to the nearest pubs every chance she got since Max went down. And although she wasn't permitted to drink alcoholic beverages on account of her 'condition', she did still find ways to cause trouble.

"Did Etna blow up the dorms again?" Briggs had discovered the hard way what a sick volcano was like! And Etna's 'paroxysm' (sneeze) had caused quite a fair bit of damage before he moved her to a remote corner of the base in quarantine.

"There's been a few explosions but nothing we can't handle."

"Phoenix and SoDac mix Potassium with something?"

"No, SoDac's still shaft sore from the last time."

"Oh god, Yellowstone didn't sneak out again did she?!" And wasn't that just what he needed. A rogue supervolcano loose in the city.

"Last I checked she was Netflix and Chillin' with Rainier." A wink accompanied Constellation's statement and Bridge had the urge to find the nearest bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Okay, I'm stumped." He said. "What is it?"

As Constellation opened her mouth the door banged open and in stomped Terra. The planet kanmusu was furious. The pupils of her blue eyes were glowing red, reflecting the power of her core. And her green and blue hair seemed to stand at attention. The urge to consume Jack Daniels got stronger.

"ADMIRAL, I DEMAND THAT YOU GIVE CUSTODY OF THE ROVERS TO ME!"

"What?" was Briggs' intelligent response. Constellation took the opportunity to slip out and close the door behind her. She wanted no part of this.

Lowering her voice slightly, Terra rehashed her statement. "Mars won't give them up. And they were born on me so they're mine and I want them back!"

Briggs sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. And here he thought Terra was the sane one. It appeared she was just as crazy as the rest of his shipgirls which didn't do much for his sanity considering she was his planet!

"The rovers are doing important work on Mars and in any case, they're NASA's jurisdiction not mine." Briggs said.

"But Mars is claiming that they're hers! I can't let her do that!" Terra protested.

"Then go take it up with her and sort it out between yourselves." Briggs dismissed her with a flick of his hand.

Terra glared at him and for a brief moment he thought she'd press the issue but then she relaxed and a grin not unlike the Taffy's split her face. "Alright Admiral." She said and left. Briggs didn't waste a second grabbing his nectar of the gods and downing half the bottle in one gulp. It was a good thing he was guaranteed a lifetime's supply or he would've been out of here a long time ago.

As a planet kanmusu Terra had certain abilities that went beyond her typical orbit and electromagnetic shield. She could project herself onto others, especially humans and make them see or think what she wanted them to. It was not an ability she used often and although she was tempted to use it on Briggs then, she held back. Now however, using said abilities insured everyone kept out of her way until she reached the battleship dorms. If she was going to do what she wanted to do, she was going to need help.

A knock alerted Iowa that someone was at her door. "Com-ing!" The battleship sang and yanked it open. She was very surprised at who she saw. "Terra." She greeted. forcing back a laugh at how the planet awkwardly shifted her feet.

"Can I come in. I'd really rather not discuss this outside."

"Sure."

Iowa closed the door behind her. "So what's up? Luna giving you trouble? I know Nagato loves to babysit her. Or is it that time ara-ara?"

Terra flushed. "No! I don't- Luna has those but I'm wayyy too old for 'em now!" She stammered. In truth she wasn't even sure she could menstruate. It would be interesting if she could and would probably break Briggs.

"It's about Mars."

"What about her? She's not still going on about that whole War of the Worlds prank the Taffy's pulled on her is she?" Iowa frowned. New Jersey had grounded her charges for a month after that stunt! And thanks to planet magic everyone on base was speaking in "ulla's" for days!

"No its about the rovers. She seems to think they're hers." Terra said.

"Well the little dumplings have spent a lot of time on her." Iowa replied.

"She's claiming she has custody. I disagree and she's ignored my demands to return them."

"And you want me to help you teach her a lesson." Iowa guessed.

"Got it in one." Then Terra outlined her plan.

"You so owe me for this one as Briggs will have both our hides but okay." Iowa shrugged.

"Really, you'll do it?"

"I think the red runt is a bit of an uptight square myself. Be nice to take her down a peg or two."

"Ok, first we'll need an AoA account..."

A few days later, the storm broke. Briggs stared at the angrily worded email in his inbox from Mars. This was Terra's doing and he was pretty sure Iowa helped her.

"ADMIRAL BRIGGS!"

Briggs buried his face in his hands for he knew that voice. He'd heard it like everyone else when the Taffy's pulled their infamous prank.

Sure enough, Mars came storming into his office. To say she was the opposite of Terra would be understating things. Terra was tall, Mars was short at a mere 5'0". Terra had long hair that she kept back in a ponytail. Mars' red and white locks were allowed to go where the wished.

"Mars, I sincerely apologize..."

"Save it. Just tell me where she is." Mars sighed, keeping a tighter rein on her temper than Terra did.

Terra knew her plan had worked when Mars stormed up to her. "Boring and mindless. You called me boring and mindless?!" The red planet shouted.

Terra shrugged. "To use a human expression, if the shoe fits."

"GAHHH!" Mars tackled Terra who quickly countered with a right hook to the red planet's skull that sent her reeling.

10 minutes of hair pulling, breast pinching and wrist biting later and the two were broken apart by a very annoyed Jupiter with Venus close at his side. With her were the four rovers Curiosity, Perseverance, Opportunity, and Spirit.

"In all my billions of years I have never..." The second planet began lecturing the pair who quickly launched into a full scale argument about who should have the rovers and why. Venus gave as good as she got and Jupiter thought they were all being ridiculous.

Spirit, in the interest of peace and cooperation between them all, raised her hand. "Um, can I say something?" She asked.

"NO!" All four planets shouted at her at once and resumed their argument.

A bit miffed, Spirit turned to her twin. "While we're here, I've been keen to have some of that good ol' American ice cream."

Opportunity had to wipe a bit of drool off her face at the word. "Beats MRE's any day." She said.

She grabbed Curiosity by the hand and Spirit did likewise with Perseverance and the four made a beeline for the mess hall behind the squabbling planet's backs.