"Do you think Buffy will manage to finish the week without joining us?" Dawn asked as they walked down the sidewalk, heading for Willow's place.
Willow laughed. "Little chance of that. I'm sure she'll try, but..."
"Yeah," Dawn agreed. "A perk or two and she'll cave."
"More like what you do to get those perks will get her to join," Willow said with a grin. "I am so glad I had Xander buy Love and Compassion. Without that and Stress Defense I'd be a wreck worrying about the wrong things."
Dawn winced. "Sorry again about line jumping. I really should have waited."
"What? No, you shouldn't have," Willow said. "This is Sunnydale, who knows what's going to happen next? No, when you get a chance you grab it."
"Thanks, that makes me feel better about things," Dawn said. "I'm kinda surprised you didn't take the chance to go first when you had Xander upstairs."
"I was tempted," Willow admitted, "but I'd rather our first time not be rushed. I want a good six to eight hours with cuddling and kisses!"
"Xander's first is probably going to be with Buffy," Dawn warned.
Willow nodded. "That's fine. I'm more than happy to go 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, break for lunch, 7th, 8th, and possibly 9th. Depends on how fast we heal and if it prevents chafing."
Dawn burst out laughing.
"Buffy can have her first with him and then I'll have mine," Willow said with a grin. "I'm not really worried about it, or anything else for that matter. Let me just say… Stress Defense is an awesome perk."
"What perks should I get and in what order?" Dawn asked eagerly as they walked.
"Up to you," Willow said. "I say start with Black Panther and Stress Defense if at all possible."
"They certainly worked well on you," Dawn told her, "though the Wardrobe one looks really handy."
"Clean clothes that always fit, as well as anything you can fit in a pocket or purse, not to mention weapons and armor?" she asked innocently. "It may be a little useful," she said with a grin.
"Three perks," Dawn said firmly. "I need those three perks before any of the others. Panther first so there's less I gotta worry about, being super and all, Stress Defense so I won't worry about it anyway, and finally Wardrobe so I don't have to do laundry anymore."
*BEEP*BEEP*
The two turned to see Cordelia honking at them even though she'd just pulled up to the curb next to them.
"Did you want something Cordelia?" Willow asked dryly, the knowledge that she could easily launch the socialite into orbit with a thought rather comforting to the formerly shy redhead.
"Hop in," Cordelia ordered.
"That's a bit rude, don't you think?" Willow asked.
"Did you have to pick now to find your spine," Cordelia complained. "And when the hell did you find time to get a boob job?!"
"Nice talking to you as always," Willow said as she and Dawn began walking again.
"Ice cream, my treat," Cordelia quickly offered.
Willow gracefully leapt into the passenger seat without opening the door before gesturing at Dawn who floated into the backseat. "We can stop at the grocery store on the way to my place. My parents aren't home, we can talk there." She wondered exactly how much ice cream she could talk the spoiled rich girl into buying to make it worth dealing with her.
"Fine," Cordelia said, not even lifting an eyebrow at their actions before shifting into drive and squealing away from the curb.
"Stress Defense first," Dawn muttered to herself as the brunette cheerleader drove with a complete disregard for traffic laws or basic safety.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"I can't believe you had me buy two hundred dollars worth of ice cream," Cordelia said as Willow casually corralled an entire shopping cart worth of bags and carried them like they weighed nothing.
"My time is valuable and we don't like each other," Willow replied as her front door opened by itself and the three entered.
"I'd like you more if you weren't a deceitful bitch," Cordelia said honestly as she followed her in.
"How am I a deceitful bitch?" Willow asked curiously as the ice cream floated out of the bags and into the freezer, leaving a gallon of vanilla ice cream and a two liter of root beer on the counter.
"You always act so sweet and innocent when you are anything but," Cordelia replied while three root beer floats made themselves.
"I was trying to follow the rules and do what the teachers said," Willow replied.
"Please," Cordelia said, "the rules are meaningless drivel that is just used to control people. Which, to be fair, is probably needed, because otherwise it'd be all Lord of the Flies in there. More than it usually is, I mean."
"You actually read the book?" Willow asked, surprised.
"Read the book, also the cliff notes so I'd know what the teacher would think we were supposed to get from it, and watched the movie, which just so you know despite lacking any beefcake was still pretty good," she replied before taking a drink of her float.
Willow sighed and the three settled into the livingroom. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Explain the world to me," Cordelia said.
"Seriously? You really think I can just explain everything?" the redhead asked in disbelief.
Cordelia simply raised an eyebrow and took a spoon to her float.
"Fine, I can," Willow admitted. "Demons once ruled the Earth, huge ones. No one has any idea how mankind kicked them out, but we evolved and kicked ass. Vampires, ghosts, zombies, all of it is real and kept under wraps because people are selfish idiots. Those in the know fight them."
"That's it?" Cordelia asked.
"Thems the high points," Dawn said cheerfully.
"How much do I have to know to keep safe?" Cordelia asked.
"I'm not sure 'safe' exists," Willow admitted. "A portal to hell exists below the high school library and idiots are always trying to open it."
"Joy," Cordelia said with a sigh. "What was up with last night?"
"Chaos mage with a sense of humor," Willow replied.
"And Xander being all..." She waved a hand in the air.
"He dressed as himself from another reality where he was really powerful," Willow said, waiting to see where Cordelia was going with this.
"He had me drink a vial of glowing golden stuff and handed me a silver baton," Cordelia said. She held up a hand and a solid silver baton appeared in it.
"Did it help?" Dawn asked, curious as to what she would say.
"Just a tap broke the spell on the little monsters," Cordelia said. "You have to smack the older ones harder and some of the weird faced ones it didn't do dick to."
"Did you have sex with Xander?" Dawn asked.
"What? No," Cordelia said. "Didn't even kiss or get handsy."
"So the baton is the only thing you can make appear and disappear, not your clothes or anything else?" Willow asked.
"Did you and him..." Cordelia asked, eyes lighting up as she leaned forward, eager to gossip as the question about having sex with Xander and making things appear and disappear clearly meant something to the pair.
Willow leaned back and her clothes vanished, showing off the effects of her physical enhancement perk.
"So those tits are real," Cordelia said, surprised. "Magical boob job?"
Dawn almost choked on her root beer float.
"Part of it," Willow admitted with a shrug and was suddenly dressed again.
"Did sleeping with Xander give you superpowers?" Cordelia demanded.
A napkin flew out of the kitchen to Dawn's hand so she could wipe her mouth.
"You both slept with Xander?" Cordelia asked, wide eyed.
"Dawn's mom said she had to wait until she was older," Willow told her.
"I'm very confused and I still want to know about the golden thing he had me drink," Cordelia said, "He said something about making sure the horror that was the talent show never happened again, so what happened at the talent show?"
"Demons were stalking people for organs and there was a possessed ventriloquist dummy," Willow said with a shrug. "Not sure what any of that had to do with you."
"I'll have to ask Xander," Cordelia said, "or I would if I could find him. Any idea where he is?"
"Off in another world fighting a zombie apocalypse," Willow replied. "He and Buffy will be back in a week."
"And now I have even more questions," Cordelia said, "like why you're so open about all of this."
"No reason not to be," Willow replied, "gossiping about it would get you locked up with an I love me jacket and I can sit here and be smug about having all the answers."
Cordelia smiled. "You found your spine, bigger tits, super powers, and the proper attitude. Nice work."
"And I still don't understand you," Willow said, shaking her head.
"Act like a doormat and I'll walk all over you," Cordelia replied. "It's just polite to treat people like they request. I rarely bother with doing the whole innocent schoolgirl act you seem so fond of."
"I've heard you lie and manipulate people all the time," Willow complained.
"Most people aren't worth anything so they don't get to see the real me," Cordelia replied. "I'm not sure what the problem is."
"You've always been a bitch to me because you thought I was worth it?" Willow asked, confused.
"As opposed to those I'm a bitch to because they aren't worth it, yeah," Cordelia agreed.
"You are going to drive me crazy," Willow said, shaking her head.
"Let's break out some board games and order pizza," Cordelia said. "Might as well have a slumber party since I'm sure we both have a lot more questions to ask and I really want to do something about your nails."
"My nails?" Willow asked, confused.
"Yes, your nails," Cordelia agreed. "You're a young woman so there's like a dozen beauty things you should do that I'm guessing no one ever taught you."
"My mom is rarely home," Willow admitted, "and she's a professional business woman so she doesn't bother with all of that."
"I bet if we checked her bathroom we'd find a number of beauty products that she never taught you the need for or how to use," Cordelia said confidently. "All those professional business women… are just liars and hypocrites who use them in private while telling everyone else that they don't."
"Hold on for a second," Willow said before getting up and vanishing into the house's interior, returning less than a minute later, an angry frown on her face. "Alright, a slumber party sounds like a good idea."
Cordelia smiled smugly. "It's still light out, we can hit the mall for what we need. Shouldn't run more than a couple hundred for everything."
"I'll bring my Mom's credit card," Willow said with an evil smirk.
"I've never actually had a slumber party," Dawn admitted. "Buffy always had them, which tired my parents out too much for me to have any. At least that was their excuse. What do you do at slumber parties?"
"Exchange makeup tips and tricks, eat pizza, watch movies, sing karaoke, and sexually experiment," Cordelia replied. "Oh, and Twister!"
"What?" Willow asked.
"Twister, it's really fun and you get to call each other lesbians and make all sorts of sexually suggestive comments during it," Cordelia said, "it's good practice for dealing with the bitches in the locker room."
"Completely around the bend," Willow said, sending their floats into the kitchen with a thought. "To the mall."
"That's the spirit," Cordelia said cheerfully.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"And so Buffy tells me she had to burn down the gym because of vampires, which are apparently a thing, but thankfully not all Dracula like as they are just strong, fast, and stupid," Joyce rattled off staring at something only she could see.
"Dracula exists," Jenny said, already halfway sloshed, "and he can do all those things claimed in the book."
"That's because he paid to have the book written," Giles said, finding his glass empty and refilling it.
"Yeah, but most of it he learned from the Romani," Jenny said.
"Gypsy tricks," Giles offered.
"That's a slur," Jenny pointed out.
"Not to the Romani, because they aren't a bunch of twats," Giles said firmly. "They take pride in being able to fleece people."
"Good point," Jenny agreed smugly.
"So Dracula is a vampire but not stupid?" Joyce asked, confused.
"No, I'm pretty sure he's a bit of an idiot, but not from being a vampire," Giles said. "It's because he keeps paying people to write books and movies about him."
"Also video games," Jenny added.
"There are video games of him?" Giles asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, he paid a cousin of mine to come up with a good enough story about the Belmonts?" she finished questioningly as she was finding it hard to recall what they were talking about and wondering why her glass was empty, quickly refilling it.
"Those crazy people with a thing for whips?" Giles asked, trying to remember them. "Really heavy into the S and M scene and... related to him somehow?"
"Those are the ones," Jenny agreed, taking off her shirt as she was feeling a bit hot. "He wanted to preserve their reputation a little, since they're descended from his younger brother."
"Did it work?" Joyce asked curiously, focusing on Jenny for a second and wondering if she should buy a purple bra herself, as most of hers were either white or black.
"Strangely enough it did," Jenny agreed. "People now associate them with fighting Dracula using magical whips and other things, rather than... the stuff they get up to in private."
"Not exactly private when you invite everyone in town," Giles said.
"Do we have to worry about that?" Joyce asked, loosening her blouse.
"I'm not really into whips and we only invited Jenny so she could bring more alcohol and preserve... somebody's virtue?" Giles questioned himself.
"No, I mean, do we have to worry about Dracula coming here?" Joyce asked.
"Not till Buffy's eighteen," Jenny said. "He'll definitely come by then."
"You don't sound worried," Joyce noted, reaching for her glass and missing it.
"Dracula tends to show up when blonde slayers turn eighteen, play some games, test them a bit, and allow himself to be staked," Giles said, "builds up their confidence, but we all know Buffy bleaches her hair."
"But he doesn't," Jenny pointed out. "So he'll show up, be overly dramatic, and then piss off back to where he came from, probably writing down everything that happened and making a movie out of it or a book, depending on if Buffy was properly dramatic back."
"Are we sure he's actually a vampire?" Joyce asked.
Giles and Jenny paused in their drinking and looked at one another, frowning thoughtfully.
"Fuck if I know," Giles admitted. "Vampires claim he's one, he claims he's one, but he doesn't really act like one and I don't really trust vampires to tell the truth anyway, bunch of lying shits."
"He has too much fun and causes too little death," Jenny said thoughtfully. "It's like he's a vampire... but not a demon."
"Like Angel?" Joyce asked, causing the two to fall over laughing.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Right foot green," Willow announced.
Cordelia stretched a leg out, now spidered over Dawn, who had her face pressed against the older girl's chest as they were playing in their underwear, following Cordelia's rules. "Got it!"
"Right foot blue," Willow called out.
"If I bite her and you don't see it, does it count?" Dawn asked with a grin, voice partially muffled.
"Don't you dare!" Cordelia exclaimed, trying not to laugh.
"Fine, but this would be more fun if we had Xander here," Dawn said, stretching her arm out to the appropriate spot.
"Dawn," Willow said cautiously.
"Yeah?" Dawn asked.
"Does your arm hurt?" she asked slowly.
"No, feels fine," Dawn replied. "My pride's a little battered, cause I'm seriously outgunned in the chest department, but my arm feels fine. Why?"
"Cause most people's arms don't stretch three feet," Cordelia replied dryly.
Dawn looked over. "Huh, didn't know I could do that."
"You are going to completely dominate us in Twister, aren't you?" Cordelia asked.
"That's all you've got to say?" Willow asked. "Dawn just stretches her arm like she's Plastic Man and you're all like, 'this is completely normal?"
"You can make things float in the air and so can she," Cordelia said, "why should I be surprised she has another super power?"
"The vials!" Willow exclaimed as the thought hit her. "Wait, why do you have the stretchy and telekinesis?"
"Because I'm awesome?" Dawn guessed, before biting Cordelia's tit.
"Oh, you bitch!" Cordelia yelled and collapsed on the younger girl.
Willow separated the two with a gesture.
"Hey," Cordelia complained, "you didn't even let me noogie her."
"She has an unfair advantage when it comes to wrestling now," Willow said.
"Point," Cordelia admitted. "So, the vials you got from Xander gave you super powers?"
"Yeah," Willow agreed. "I thought we'd all just gotten telekinesis, but Dawn's stretching is new."
Dawn stretched an arm across the room and tapped a wall before snapping her arm back and knocking herself down with the recoil. "Oops!"
"Xander had me drink a vial, you don't suppose..." Cordelia trailed off as Dawn stretched to touch the ceiling.
"Ha, I can make Buffy feel even shorter now!" Dawn crowed.
Willow snickered before turning back to Cordelia. "Maybe?"
"Hope it's a useful power," she said.
"Why did we have to play Twister in our underwear anyway?" Dawn asked.
"It helps establish the pecking order when I can intimidate you with my tits," Cordelia replied. "There's also probably some bonding thing about lowering emotional shields, but mostly showing off the girls." She drummed on her breasts to draw their attention to them.
"And you wonder why people call you a bitch," Willow said, pinching her nose.
"What? No I don't," Cordelia disagreed, "it's mostly cause I'm being a bitch."
'I wonder if this is how Giles feels dealing with us,' Willow wondered as she stared at Cordelia in disbelief.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows
