The Waterford's home loomed over Anna like Dracula's castle-not that it was quite that big, but it was that threatening to a new Handmaid leaving the Red Center for the first time.
Anna slowly made her way up the walkway to the red brick home covered in Ivy. She didn't dare run or try to avoid the course she was given. The guards standing along the Waterfords' fence were watching her and the guards from the red van were watching her. She wouldn't get far if she ran. There was no escaping Gilead as a Handmaid. You were a precious commodity.
Finally being free of the Red Center still wasn't being truly free. Some would argue it was worse.
The large wooden door opened before Anna had the chance to compose herself enough to knock.
The blonde woman who answered had to be her Commander's wife. The color of the woman's dress announced her authority. She wore the teal blue color proudly. Her hair was pulled back into a tight, modest bun. She was pretty.
Anna quickly looked down at the ground. She was supposed to show her respect to the Commander and Commander's wife so she did not make eye contact for long. She was not worthy.
"So here you are," Mrs. Waterford greeted her warmly and smiled, surprising Anna.
Anna looked back up at the woman, but paused awkwardly on the doorstep. She knew that Mrs. Waterford was studying her so Anna tried to stand still and hide her slight tremble. She looked down at her own feet again and heard the red van behind her pulling away. She glanced back up to catch the end of the slight wave or signal that the Commander's wife had given to the driver of the van.
This was it, Anna thought silently. She was at the Waterfords' mercy. She belonged to them.
"Well don't just stand there. Come in. Welcome. I'm Serena Joy Waterford," the woman introduced herself and motioned for Anna to come inside.
Anna moved to do so slowly. She was surprised at the woman's friendliness. It almost sounded like excitement. She caught herself holding her breath and forced a deep breath out and then back in. It was a habit she'd had since her grade school days. She'd even passed out during a school play. Just because she'd gotten nervous and held her breath.
She looked around curiously as she entered. She removed her white wings.
The house smelled slightly of cigarette smoke, but she could also smell something cooking. It smelled like fresh bread baking. It felt odd to be in a home environment after being in the Red Center for so long.
"So this is your first posting?" Mrs. Waterford shut the door behind her and sat down in a cream colored armchair in the entryway. She stayed on the edge of her seat and leaned forward like an excited and curious child.
"Yes…Ma'am," Anna answered. She stayed standing. She didn't dare sit down. She hadn't been asked to.
"But I expect you were taught the rules?"
Anna nodded. Of course I was, she thought. Do you even know what they do to us at the Red Center? And what hell they have us prepared for? She slowly let her eyes drift around the room. She imagined that Mrs. Waterford did indeed know. If she agreed to have a Handmaid in her home, she had to know what she was signing up for.
The teal walls nearly matched Mrs. Waterford's dress. The furniture was older but fancy- most of it a cream white. There was a fancy looking gray marble fireplace to her left in what she imagined to be the large sitting room. Gold trinkets sat atop it.
"How old are you?" Mrs. Waterford broke Anna's concentration again.
"Twenty-two," Anna answered her and looked back down at her feet. She crossed her hands in front of her, suddenly remembering the pose that the Aunts had punished her for forgetting so many times.
"You can look at me, Offred. That's your name."
Anna raised her blue eyes to meet Mrs. Waterford's blue ones. Her first thought after taking another good look at her was that the two of them had the same eye color. Well, from what Anna could remember. She hadn't been allowed to see herself in a mirror since she was taken.
Offred. She repeated the name in her mind. It was such an ugly name, she tried to keep her face from scrunching in disgust. That meant his name was Fred. Fred Waterford?
Mrs. Waterford smiled at her, but broke eye contact as a door to their left creaked open.
"Well he's finally here," Mrs. Waterford announced. She smiled proudly as if she was ready to show her husband off.
Anna watched as the Commander entered. He was slim and tall with dark hair and dark facial hair. He wore the typical black suit and tie ensemble that Commanders wore.
She felt her cheeks flush in anxiety when his eyes met hers. She looked down again. What would he think of her?
Anna had always had anxiety. She swore she was born with it, always an anxious child. Her parents didn't understand. It wasn't until she went off to school that she took the plunge and began taking medicine to help.
Of course Gilead didn't believe in those sorts of things. Not that medicine would help her here. Gilead was such a harsh, strict, and ruling place. Anyone living here would have anxiety. Every moment of life here was anxiety inducing.
"I'm Commander Fred Waterford," he spoke calmly as he approached. "It's nice to meet you."
He smiled at her. Anna was once again surprised at his soft introduction. She'd heard stories during her time at the Red Center. Horrible stories about Commanders and their wives.
He stopped in front of her and Anna half expected him to reach out his hand for a handshake, but of course he did not. He and she were not equals.
"You too," she spoke, glancing up quickly out of habit and then looking down, unsure if they would think of a response such as that as inappropriate. But neither of the Waterfords spoke.
Anna sucked another deep breath in to hold. She knew once again she was being stared at and judged.
"Well, Sweetheart, I'll be in my study if you need me," the Commander spoke to his wife. He met Anna 's eyes again. Anna looked away again, but she was thankful he was leaving. He had an intense presence in the room.
"Oh but let them in first," Mrs. Waterford suddenly called to him.
The Commander opened the door and spoke to someone outside of it. "You both can come in," he motioned for a Martha and another young man dressed in black to enter from another room or hallway.
Anna watched them, forcing the breath back out of her lungs.
"This is Rita and Nick. Our Martha and our Driver," he motioned to them as he introduced them.
"Thank you, We'll be fine," Mrs Waterford responded. A signal for Fred Waterford to leave them all alone, Anna assumed. And he did. Anna knew from the Red Center that husbands were not allowed to have much interaction with their Handmaids. The still had to protect the sanctity of their marriage. Well every day except for ceremony day. What bullshit.
"Rita can help you with anything that you may have questions about. If not then of course come to me," Mrs. Waterford explained.
The Martha, Rita appeared guarded. She remained tight lipped and only gave a curt nod when Mrs. Waterford spoke of her. She was a plain woman with a tan complexion. But so far all of the Marthas she had seen looked like plain and guarded women.
The driver on the other hand, gave her the slightest smile as if he was trying to give her reassurance. His dark eyes seemed kind. He had dark hair and a young face.
"Do you have any questions for me?" Mrs. Waterford finally spoke, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen around the four of them.
Anna suddenly felt self-conscious around the Martha and Driver who she knew must be judging her. She was the poor unfortunate outsider to them.
She shook her head slightly.
As if sensing Anna's growing uneasiness, Mrs. Waterford motioned for the Martha and Driver to leave. "You both can go."
Anna let her eyes wander around the room again.
It was a beautiful home…somewhat elegant.
Once alone with Mrs. Waterford again, Anna made herself speak. "Am I expected to spend my time in my…. room?"
Mrs. Waterford cocked her head. But then she smiled. "You're new. I get it. You'll learn quickly. Yes. You'll be summoned when you're needed for help with chores or anything. Rita may ask of your help on occasion. After all, you're only needed for the nights of the ceremony."
Anna nodded. Mrs Waterford had politely reminded her of her place and her worth.
The dreaded ceremony.
"You'll also fetch the groceries. It will give Rita a bit of a break. Rita will give you a list on shopping day. You will walk with Ofglen from next door. I found out that she does not have a walking partner."
Anna nodded. Handmaids never went anywhere alone.
"But Come. I'll show you to your room," Mrs. Waterford rose to her feet. "I hope that you will be satisfied with it."
Anna followed Mrs. Waterford and her clicking heels as she led her out of the sitting room and down the hallway.
As they passed an easel, Anna allowed her eyes to linger. It was a watercolor painting of irises. Yellow flowers with delicate but billowy petals. It wasn't complete. A glass of water and brushes sat nearby on a small table.
Someone here was into painting?
A framed painting on the wall caught her attention next.
She was pretty sure it was a Monet, and she nearly stopped in her tracks. It looked original. Anna forced herself to keep walking as Mrs. Waterford led her up a small set of stairs to her lonely quarters.
Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. If they were lovers of the fine arts then maybe they weren't as bad as she'd heard Commanders and Commander's wives could be.
When Anna awoke days later, she felt sick as soon as she opened her eyes. It was the day of the ceremony. Her first ceremony since leaving the Red Center. This wouldn't just be the other Handmaids practicing with each other in a circle while the Aunts coached them. She'd wanted the night before to last forever. But of course, the moment Anna fell asleep the night passed quickly and the next thing she knew, she was awakened by some creak of the house and saw the sun spilling into her room through the crack in the curtains.
She laid there for a while, listening to the birds chirping outside. She couldn't help but think of how lucky they were. They were free.
Downstairs the house was beginning to awaken. She could hear Mrs. Waterford's heels on the hard wood and pots and pans clanged downstairs in the kitchen where she knew Rita was making breakfast for everyone. The Commander always ate in the kitchen before going to work, so Anna wasn't summoned to eat when everyone else did. Her stomach rumbled a little. At least Rita was a very good cook.
Anna let her eyes drift upward to the simple chandelier hanging from the ceiling. It was rather ugly. It was gold with the sort of lights that were supposed to mimic candle light. They had ugly little shades on them. Her entire room was plain and ugly. The bed had an iron bed frame and it was topped with scratchy white sheets and a rough brown comforter. For some reason she was given a desk with a lamp on it. She couldn't help but think that it had to be a reminder of what she could no longer do. It was almost as if they were rubbing in the fact that she was banned from reading or writing. What was she supposed to do at that desk? Twiddle her thumbs?
She rolled over and sank back into her flat pillow.
Just as she closed her eyes, a knock at the door startled her.
Anna leapt to her feet and ran to her closet. It wasn't time for breakfast yet.
"Just a minute," she called out.
"It's just me," Anna recognized the Rita's voice and she calmed down just a little. She threw her red cloak over her shoulders to hide her night gown.
"Blessed be the fruit," Rita greeted her as soon as Anna opened her door.
"Uh… May the Lord… open," Anna still gritted her teeth nearly every time she said the words.
"I have a shopping list for you if you'll get dressed. Today is shopping day."
"Oh Alright," Anna tried to hide her reluctance.
"It's also ceremony day. But I'm sure you know that," Rita lowered her voice a little.
Anna nodded.
"When you get back from shopping I'll give you a razor and you'll have time to freshen yourself up," Rita explained softly. "But I'll meet you downstairs. I'll have the list ready for you."
Just as Mrs. Waterford had said, a Handmaid was waiting for Anna at the gate when she stepped out of the house. The Handmaid's back was facing the house, and Anna wondered if she may know her. A lot of Handmaids from her class left the Red Center at the same time she did.
As she made her way down the short drive, she noticed the driver, Nick, leaving his quarters. He looked at her for a brief moment as he made his way down his set of stairs. She hadn't seen much of him since she'd arrived. He was always busy driving the Commander around. Apparently he was a busy man.
Anna slowly unlatched the gate and the Handmaid turned to face her. It was the face of a stranger and Anna felt a surge of disappointment. She had brown eyes and brown hair slightly peaking from her wings and bonnet.
"Blessed be the fruit," the Handmaid greeted her.
"May the Lord open," Anna eyed the guards that stood nearby. She latched the gate back with a slight tremble of her hands. The guards made her so uneasy with their guns.
"Are you ready?" the handmaid asked.
Anna nodded and the pair began walking.
She readjusted the bag at her wrist nervously.
After what felt like an eternity of silence, Ofglen finally spoke.
"Beautiful Day."
Anna cleared her throat as she answered. "Yeah it is."
"You're young. New?" Ofglen whispered suddenly, surprising Anna.
She nodded as she glanced up to make sure no guards heard.
"What's your name?" Ofglen continued.
"...Offred," she paused before she answered, catching herself. Could this be a trick? Was she being tested?
"No. I mean your real name."
"Anna," Surprised, Anna looked back at her walking partner before responding.
"I'm Emily." She spoke so softly that Anna had to lean in closer to hear her.
"Don't turn your head when you talk to me. We don't wanna catch the guards' attention."
"Okay," Anna answered. "It's nice to meet you." She looked straight ahead. There were a few other Handmaid duos walking along the sidewalk ahead of them.
"So Waterford is your Commander?" Emily continued.
"You know him?" Anna suddenly felt reassured that her walking partner was friendly and seemingly helpful.
"I've just heard his name a lot," Emily brushed the answer off and Anna stopped herself from prying more.
Anna fell silent. "Oh."
"I think he has a lot of pull," Emily said softly. "In everything. He's pretty prestigious."
"Oh," Anna replied hesitantly.
They walked in silence for a few blocks. Anna desperately wanted to talk, but did not want to seem overzealous and get them into any trouble.
When the grocery store was in view, Anna spoke again.
"Tonight is the ceremony," Anna forced the words from her mouth.
Emily gave her the slightest smile. It looked like a pity smile, but Anna didn't feel so alone anymore.
"You'll be fine," Emily's encouragement was short, and Anna could sense that Emily was done talking.
It was time to grocery shop.
