18 months later

He had gotten a bit of a belly. No, it wasn't much, hardly noticeable. Just a thin layer of fat between the skin and the muscles. His body was desperately clinging to any morsel, to be prepared, in case it would be starved again. It bothered him, sometimes. There were days, he spent too much time in front of a mirror, not pinching, just looking. Wondering if his eating issues were about weight after all? He didn't think so, but looking at himself now that he was supposed to be at a healthy weight, he sometimes longed see the bones more clearly. He missed the dip under his collarbone, the shadow that his rib cage painted on his abdomen.

The one time he had told Barry about that, his boyfriend had hugged him tight.

"It's alright Baby, I love you just the way you are. It's ok to have a bad day. But remember how much better you feel right now", he told him. And of course it was true. He was so much better right now. At least physically. Mentally he wasn't so sure. Therapy was kicking his ass on a regular basis. The first time, he had had tried to talk to his therapist about the abuse, he ended up puking into her office paper bin. This was his usual reaction of trying to talk about it. He would get nauseous. The first time Barry came to find him bend over the toilet bowl, he thought his boyfriend's eating disorder had taken another turn. It hadn't, but might as well had, with how often he found himself heaving into the toilet, into the sink, into bins and even corners, because he got overwhelmed with the memories. It had gotten better at last. He made it through the basics with his therapist and she wasn't challenging for the really hurtful topics, not yet anyways.

But overall he was doing better, sometimes there was a strange feeling he came to suspect was happiness. He wasn't just going through the motions of living anymore, only really awake when he pulled a heist. No, now he felt it almost everyday. He felt alive, when he looked into Barry's eyes, while they were fucking, he felt alive, when he tenderly reached out to Barry, peacefully sitting next to him, watching TV. He felt it when he was lifting weights, he was alive, when he put the food he or someone else had cooked into his mouth.

For this gift, he could tolerate a bit of fat on his body. Most of the days he could anyways. It was a trade.

"I'm sick of these hotel rooms", Barry said, "why can't we meet at my place? Joe knows that we are together, he doesn't particularly like it, but he'll accept it."

"Barry, every time Joe sees me, I'm surprised I'm still alive. If looks could kill…"

Barry chuckled at that, "he does that to Eddie too, and he actually likes him", he reassured Len.

"So he doesn't like me and he sends me death glares whenever he catches me near you, and you wonder, why I prefer to meet you in a hotel room?"

"I thought you enjoyed messing with Joe?" Barry asked, mischievous grin spread wide.

Len shrugged his shoulders, "sometimes I do, sometimes I just want to be with you, without all the other shit, you know?" he said softly.

"I know. And that's why I have a proposition to make", Barry fidgeted nervously and Len watched him with narrowed eyes.

"What?" he asked.

Barry got up and fumbled something out of his trouser pocket. He held it out to Len. It was a key.

"Would you…", he faltered, redness spreading in his cheeks, "would you move in with me?" he finally breathed out.

Len started at the key dumbfounded.

"We don't have to", Barry said quickly, proceeding to close his fingers around the key, to hide it away again.

"You would want to move in with me?" Leonard croaked out.

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I? You are the perfect companion to share a flat with. Neatfreak!"

"You do know, that my job isn't exactly working from home material, especially when I share my home with a hero?" Len questioned.

"You could leave work at the house. I'm not exactly inviting Lisa or Mick to move in with us, Baby. But I want to come home to you. I want to spend the night with you or morning or whenever we are free. I want to have Sunday brunch with you and I want to fuck you, without needing to be quiet. I want your toothbrush next to mine and I want to smell you, when I lay down in bed. Len, I want to be with you, with everything that might mean", Barry was breathing hard, unsure if the next word that Len would utter, would be a firm no.

But instead Leonard nodded slowly.

"So you already have an apartment?" he asked curiously.

Barry nodded excitedly.

"Lisa helped to pick it out. It's a loft flat. Open plan, we thought you would like it", he offered shyly, not wanting to overwhelm his boyfriend, but he himself was incredibly nervous right now. What if Len didn't like it?

"Do you want to show it to me?"

"I have to run by STAR labs soon, but why don't we meet there tonight? Like 8 pm? Order some Chinese to eat at the new place?"

Len nodded, not sure, if he should agree to takeout. But if this situation got too much for him, Barry would understand. There was nothing, he couldn't swing by Barry. Even if he couldn't really understand all the illogical and intrusive thoughts that Len had, he tried his best just to be supportive. Len wasn't so delusional to think that it was easy. It was the first time in 31 years, that someone was this patient with him. He loved and hated it at the same time.

At 8 pm he waited at the corner that Barry had told him to. At 8.02 he felt the breeze of Barry running past him, and using enough force to stop, that his sneakers caught fire, again. Amused he watched, how Barry did a little dance to stomp out the fire.

"How come I'm dating the fasted man alive and he's always late?"

"And I wonder, why I'm in love with a man who counts seconds obsessively?" Barry gave back. "Come on, I can't wait to show you the place."

Len huffed, but followed Barry inside some old building, that used to be a warehouse but now was converted into apartments.

"It's at the top", Barry told him and they started climbing up the stairs. Len was glad, that he had gained a bit of his old stamina back in the last couple of weeks, but he was still out of breath, when they finally arrived at the top. Barry gave him time to catch his breathing and then pushed the key in the lock, but he turned around, before pushing the door open.

"I want you to know, that we don't have to do this. If you don't like this apartment, we can look for a different one, or if you having second thoughts of moving in with me, that's ok too." He reassured Len, knowing all too well, that his boyfriend usually had a hard time adjusting to change.

Len had loved the apartment, the second he had stepped a foot in. A short hallway led to a large, open space with a wide window looking over the city. It was the perfect space for someone who loved the night just as much as Len did. Barry had waited and started to smile, when he caught Lens content expression. He just looked like the cat who had gotten the cream.

Behind a concrete column there was a small but beautiful crafted wooden kitchen. The bedroom and bathroom were located in the back, separated from the main living space by a hallway made from built in closets to give the apartment enough storage space. The wood was so smooth, it felt like silk under Lens fingertips. He was sure, that they wouldn't make a sound opening or closing them.

The bedroom had a similar view over the city and Barry pointed out, that they almost could see STARlabs, but not quite.

"So what do you think?" Barry asked anxiously.

"You know I like beautiful things, and this apartment, it is very beautiful."

Barry sighed in relief and pulled out his phone.

"So Chinese?"

Len nodded.

They ended up having a makeshift Picknick on the floor, eating out of the containers in candlelight, sharing a bottle of wine, Barry had remembered to bring.

Whenever Len stepped into the living room later, he was blessed with the memories of this first night, there on the hardwood floor. He still could feel the echo of Barry's hands on his body, the gleam of the candle light in his soft eyes. The love he felt that night.

It took some time to adjust to the new situation, leaving the house in the morning to go to work, like every other good central city citizen was something else. But he usually liked it, that he could close the door to his workstation in the evening and come home to Barry. It almost felt like they were a normal couple, getting home to each other after work. Of course the red suit and the huge cold gun that they stored in the guest room were far from normal, as was the regular occurrence, that Barry had to leave suddenly and sometimes wouldn't be back for a while. Sometimes, if it appeared to be a busy night for the Flash, he would go to hang out in the Lab with Cisco and Dr. Snow, and more often than not, his sister was there too.

For the first time in a very long time there were days, that were going by easily. Where he liked to work, but was glad, that he had a place to go home to. A Person to come home to.

It was good, until the past came knocking again.

Notes:

I know it's fucking entitled to just have an apparent like this. They don't grow on trees, but I thought Len deserved something nice for once. And he's a thief who has pulled million dollars heists, I'm sure he has a little bit of money stashed somewhere :)

Anyway there's just one chapter left to write and then it's done…

How do you like the story so far. What do you think will happen? Sorry for the cliffhanger btw

Love Amrais