Interpersonal Communication Issues: not set after any specific episode, just late Season 1

Once the decision was made to lay bare his heart and tell Paige exactly how he felt about her, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from Walter's shoulders. He had spent months (months!) denying his growing attraction to Paige and what his relationship with her meant to him.

But it all seemed so ridiculous now. He was a genius with a 197 IQ. His entire life was about facts but he had spent far too long denying the simplest fact in his life. He was in love with Paige Dineen. The only thing he had to do now was create the opportunity to inform her of that fact.

As Walter pulled his Datsun into its usual parking spot behind the Garage, he smiled. He knew exactly what to say to Paige so she would join him at the Garage this evening. Walter stepped out of his car, not bothering to lock the door behind him, after all the chances of his vehicle being vandalized or stolen, even in LA, were so low as to be almost incalculable, even for Sylvester. He took a deep, steadying breath and took just a moment to admire the bright blue sky overhead before he took his phone out of his pocket and dialed Paige's number.

As Walter listened to the phone ring, his confidence wavered and his heart stuttered nervously. He wondered if Paige would even answer his call. Would she even be willing to talk to him after the way he had ignored her for the last several days? He pushed the distressing thought from his mind. She was the one who ran out on him. She was the one who should feel uncomfortable during their next conversation.

Unexpectedly he heard Megan's voice in his head, chiding him for being immature and needing to lay blame. The important thing was that both of them had acted badly. After what seemed like hours, but was, in actuality, 3.7 rings, the call connected, and Walter heard Paige's voice sounding thin through the phone's speaker. "Walter? Is everything all right?"

Walter paused momentarily, suddenly overwhelmed by the enormity of what he was planning to do.

Paige's voice took on a note of distress, "Walter! Are you there? Are you okay? What's going on?"

Walter shook himself out of his stupor. "Paige, thank you for taking my call. I know things have been… have been tense between us, I wanted to let you know that there is a Zodiacal Light in the twilight sky for the next few n-nights that would make an excellent opportunity for y-you to spend some time… some time stargazing w-with Ralph. All you need to do is set up the telescope and look to the southwest, just above Venus and Mars, for the faint zodiacal light, reflected from interplanetary… interplanetary matter along the ecliptic–"

Paige broke into Walter's monologue. "I really don't understand anything you said for me to do with Ralph's telescope."

Walter smiled at the brilliance of his plan as he continued. "D-Don't worry, I can help… help you collimate the telescope, a-and align the finder scope. You are very welcome to bring Ralph-uh Ralph's telescope and set it up on the roof t-tonight."

"Tonight…" Paige let the word roll around in her mind as she considered Walter's invitation. "Why not? I have no doubt Ralph will enjoy a zodiacical light, whatever that is. How about I pick up some dinner from Kovelsky's and we make an evening of it?"

Walter's heart surged in his chest. He knew that she wouldn't be able to resist the chance to learn something that would help her bond further with her genius son. He was so thrilled at Paige's response to his invitation, he didn't even have the urge to correct her mispronunciation of Zodiacal. "I look forward to it."

"I'll see you soon," Paige replied and then ended the call. "Ralph," she called to her son, "grab your telescope. We're going to do some stargazing with Walter tonight."


Paige and Ralph arrived at the Garage and almost before Paige could completely stop the vehicle, Ralph already had his door open and leaped out to rush into the Garage to see Walter.

It had been days since he had seen his mentor. Ralph knew something had happened between them to upset his mom, but he didn't know what. All he knew was that his mom was sad, something she hadn't been since they met Walter, and she hadn't taken him to work with her once since the weekend he had spent with his friend Billy.

Grownups were always doing something weird, even Walter. But Ralph didn't care, as long as he got to see his friend again. Ralph scurried into the Garage through the side door, hoping to see Walter working on his dismantled CL-460 rocket engine.

Disappointed that Walter wasn't working on the engine, Ralph started mentally calculating Walter's most likely location but stopped when he heard Walter's voice coming from upstairs in his loft.

Ralph knew his mom had told him he was never to enter Walter's loft without express permission. It is his private space, his home, and that needs to be respected, Paige's voice echoed in Ralph's thoughts. But Walter didn't care about stuff like that, so Ralph hurried up the stairs to the loft, to announce his presence to Walter. But Ralph stopped on the top step when he heard Walter say his mom's name.

Paige watched with exasperation and happiness as she watched Ralph disappear into the Garage. She knew how much he loved Walter and how good he was for Ralph. She knew she needed to explain her abrupt departure from the Garage after their shared kiss. Paige sincerely hoped that she didn't lose her nerve when it came time to explain her actions. Everything between them always got so complicated so quickly. It was just easier to ignore their growing attraction and just stay friends.

She was less than thrilled to be doing it with Ralph in the vicinity, but beggars can't be choosers. And hadn't Walter set up the Proton Arnold game to not need quarters? Surely Ralph could be distracted by a vintage video game long enough for her to tell Walter her side of the story.

Ralph peered up from his spot at the top step and saw Walter standing in front of the mirror, tying and retying his tie. "Paige, there is something… something that I need to tell y-you. I've been ignoring you because… because I'm in love with you. I've been in l-love with you since shortly after we met. When we k-kissed I felt like I had discovered Grand Unified Field Theory. But when you ran… you ran out, I had no idea what to do with your reaction to our kiss. I know that ignoring you was a display of low EQ. I a-apologize for that. And I-I know you-you don't feel the same as I do and that's okay, but I-I just wanted you to know."

Outside Paige struggled to gather up the telescope, along with its eyepieces and lenses from the trunk of her car. Once she had the telescope safely in hand, she managed to balance the bags of food and drinks and make her way carefully to the door to the Garage. Fortunately for Walter's fermented fish, the door to the Garage was ajar and Paige was able to maneuver everything safely from her car inside.

Ralph heard his mom drop the bags of food on the desk downstairs and rushed back to the ground floor. Paige's eyebrows raised at the sight of Ralph running down the stairs. "I'm assuming that you are running because you did not have Walter's permission to be in his loft."

Ralph stayed silent until he reached his mother's side. "Do you need help with anything, Mom?"

"We will discuss respecting people's privacy when we get home. But for now, just go wash up so we can eat." Surprised that Walter wasn't downstairs waiting for them to arrive, Paige called out, "Walter, we're here!"

"W-we?" Walter called as he hurried down the stairs from his loft. A stab of nervousness in his chest.

"Ralph. Me. You know, 'we.'" Paige shook her head, trying not to show her amusement at Walter's palpable discomfort as he arrived at the foot of the stairs.

Walter opened his mouth to speak when he saw Ralph race across the room toward him. "Walter! My mom told me that we are going to look at rare celestial phenomena tonight with my telescope! Cool!"

Walter reacted automatically by tousling Ralph's hair affectionately. "We sure are. I'm really glad that your mom could bring you over tonight and we could look at it together."

As he spoke the reality of the situation began setting in. Paige had brought Ralph? Why had she brought Ralph? His invitation had been clear. Walter replayed the conversation in his mind. He had stuttered over Ralph's name, Paige must not have realized that he had stuttered, she must have thought he had said, "Ralph and Ralph's telescope." How was he going to declare his love for Paige in front of her son? Megan had been very explicit that he should speak to her in private. Walter needed to wait for another opportunity to express his feelings.

"I brought Kovelsky's, as promised." Paige gestured to the bags of food on the desk.

Walter tugged at his tie a bit to loosen it. It was almost as if he had tried to strangle himself on his final attempt to tie the knot. With a sigh of relief, Walter unbuttoned the top button of his collar and crossed to his desk to inspect Paige's dinner offerings. "Fermented fish?" he asked as he rummaged through the bags.

"Of course," Paige smiled a bit in relief that Walter was treating her mostly like normal. "I know that you wouldn't order anything else. Instead of unpacking everything here, why don't we get everything set up at the kitchen table?"

Walter nodded stiffly, as he gathered up the food. "I see you brought Ralph's telescope. We can set that up after we eat. The Zodiacal Light will be visible just after sunset and we don't want to miss it." He turned to Ralph, "Buddy, why don't you take the telescope up to the roof, and then you can join us for dinner."

Walter unpacked the food and Paige brought over plates and utensils. Walter bumped Paige's arm as she reached across the table, he jumped a bit as if he had been pinched. "I'm sorry, my fault."

Paige quickly withdrew her arm. "It's fine, Walter, I don't think you expected me to reach quite so far for the napkins." They quickly and silently finished laying out the food, taking extra care not to make any further physical contact. Ralph returned to the kitchen just as they sat down.

"Ralph!" Paige exclaimed, a bit too brightly. "Come sit down, I'm sure Walter would love to hear about that book you're reading about Southern California native aquatic plants."

Walter's face lit up and he turned to Ralph. "I'd really like to hear about that book. I haven't don't a great deal of research in the area myself and am interested in expanding my knowledge base." Ralph looked at Walter with confusion, since when was he interested in seaweed?

Ralph ducked his head. "There's really not much to tell. I haven't really started reading yet."

"Really?" Paige asked. "I thought I found you under the covers with a flashlight reading it last night."

"No, that was a different book. I guess I'm not that hungry after all, Mom. May I be excused?"

"Sure, Ralph." Paige shifted in her chair, dreading being alone in the kitchen with Walter. "There's bound to be a Super Fun Guy comic on Sly's desk that you haven't read. I'm sure he won't mind if you look." Ralph disappeared looking for the comic book.

Walter and Paige sat at the table avoiding eye contact. Paige unconsciously gnawed at a hangnail. "It's been a while since I had a decent manicure. I was wondering if I should schedule one with the salon around the corner from my condo or…"

Walter startled, as the implication of what Paige was saying dawned on him. "There's no need to do that. Taking the extra time and expense when I can do that for you here at the Garage is inefficient.

"Speaking of efficiency," Walter continued, "I have been working on developing new nail polish colors since my attempt to create a single perfect nail polish shade didn't exactly work out. I thought I could create a variety of shades with more accurate and descriptive names than the current market for nail polish has. I haven't quite developed all of the shades, but I do have a number of colors that have remarkable balance and mathematical perfection. My personal favorite is called 25% Red, 17% Yellow, 58% Blue. There is also a striking shade that is 94% Red, 3% Yellow, 3% Blue. It is already similar to one of your preferred colors. I think that there is likely quite a robust market for such accurately named nail polish colors." Walter felt a flush of pride at his assessment of his latest project that he momentarily forgot to be uncomfortable with Paige.

"Those are…" Paige swallowed an urge to giggle. Walter was just so earnest! "Those are the names of the colors?" Paige asked.

"Yes," he replied. "The names of the nail polish colors that you purchase are so confusing. With names like Roasted Chestnut, and Cutie Cupcake, it is no wonder that women have such a difficult time choosing a shade. The names of the various nail polish shades don't accurately describe the color of the polish. Colors are still subjective as the individual cornea and retina shapes and abnormalities vary greatly and the human eye's rods and cones have varying sensitivity based on age and health, even diet and mood. With names including precise ratios of the primary colors, the consumer will know exactly what they are getting when they make a purchase."

Paige blinked, gathering her thoughts for an appropriate reply for Walter's project. "That is very industrious of you Walter, but I'm not sure how much of a market demand there will be for your genius nail polish line."

Walter looked a bit crestfallen and stared at the floor to the left of Paige, unwilling to lift his eyes to meet hers.

Paige instantly regretted her remark and swiftly changed the topic of the conversation. "I heard from Megan a while ago that your paper on The O'Brien Technique was accepted by The Kinesiology Review, and that you are on the shortlist as a presenter for their fall conference. That's quite an honor, considering kinesiology is well outside your normal scope of study."

"Yes, it is gratifying. But you well know that I have no interest in kinesiology outside of one very narrow application…" Walter trailed off uncertainly.

Paige felt her face flame with embarrassment. At least Walter was still refusing to make eye contact and so he didn't see the effect his words had on her. Paige cast her mind about for a topic to move the conversation in a different direction. "Did you want me to cancel your standing appointment with Sam at the barber–" Paige abruptly snapped her mouth shut. Could the two of them manage to talk about anything that wasn't a figurative minefield tonight?

An uncomfortable silence stretched between them until it was broken by a loud crash downstairs. Paige and Walter jumped up in apprehension for the boy's safety, though Paige was loathe to admit it, a small part of her was grateful for the distraction from what was turning into the most awkward and uncomfortable meal of her life.

Walter and Paige rushed down to discover that one of Happy's toolboxes had fallen from her work table. "Are you all right, Ralph?" Paige ran her fingers over his face, shoulders, arms, and hands as if searching for injuries. While Walter picked up the toolbox and began replacing Happy's tools securely in their designated spaces.

"What were you doing with Happy's toolbox or her workstation at all? I thought you were going to read one of Sly's Super Fun Guy comics." Walter looked at Ralph sternly. "You know how protective Happy is of her tools. And for good reason. You could have really hurt yourself."

"I wasn't trying to get into Happy's stuff. It's just that I remembered that I had a book report for school that I hadn't turned in. My teacher isn't very happy that it's late. I left it here in the Garage and I was just looking for it."

Walter snapped the latch on the toolbox closed. "I don't think you need to worry about a late homework assignment right now. It's just about twilight and time to go set up the telescope for tonight's Zodiacal Light viewing."

Paige, relieved that Ralph wasn't injured, agreed. "Let's go up to the roof Ralphy. We'll find your book report tomorrow, I promise."

Ralph stamped his foot. "NO! I need to find my book report. I need to find it tonight. I don't care about the Zodiacal Light. I want to find my book report now!"

"Okay, okay, Ralph." Paige soothed her son. "Walter and I can help you look. Do you remember the last place you saw it?"

It took every bit of self-control the young genius possessed not to roll his eyes at his mother's question. "Of course, I know the last place I saw it. I know somebody must have moved it, Mom. That's why I can't find it. Just help me look!"

"Okay, okay, Walter can start with his loft and I'll look through the mess that Toby keeps behind his desk." Walter, Paige, and Ralph spent several silent minutes checking every nook and cranny of the Garage with no success.

Ralph stomped across the Garage to face his mother. "Mom, I can't believe you still can't find it!"

"Manners, Ralph. I'm doing my best. I've looked everywhere and so has Walter. Are you sure it's here and not at home?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Ralph whined. "And you haven't looked everywhere, you haven't even looked inside the Airstream."

"Why would it be in there? The Airstream is strictly off limits."

"I don't know, Mom. Just look in there, okay?"

"Fine, fine…" Paige opened the door to the Airstream and started rummaging through the junk piled up in the old trailer.

Walter continued thumbing through each of Sylvester's precious comic books, thinking perhaps the book report had been tucked away in one of them.

Ralph approached Walter, a bit of a glint in his eye, "Walter you need to help my mom look for my book report in the Airstream."

"I'm certain that your mother can thoroughly search the trailer. Both of us searching in such a confined space would be inefficient and redundant."

"Pl-eeee-ase, Waaaaalterrr." Ralph whined.

Walter bit back the urge to cover his ears. He had never heard Ralph whine before and hoped he never did again. "Okay, Ralph, you've got it. I'll go help your mom search in the Airstream."

"Thanks, Walter." Ralph followed close behind Walter as he entered the Airstream.

Walter cleared his throat to announce his presence in the trailer to Paige. "Ralph requested that I come in and help you look here."

The words were barely out of his mouth when Ralph pushed the door shut behind Walter. Before either Walter or Paige could even react to this strange turn of events, Walter heard the clicking shut of one of Happy's industrial locks, locking the door to the Airstream shut. Walter made a small sound of discomfort in the back of his throat. He was locked into the small space with Paige. This was really not how he had expected this evening to go when he left Megan's hospital room earlier in the day.

"What was that sound?" Paige asked tensely.

"That was the sound of your son locking us in this damn trailer!" Walter turned and started banging on the door. "Ralph! Let us out! What are you doing?"

"Great, Walter, this is just great." Paige bristled.

"You think this is my fault?" Walter stopped banging on the door and turned to face Paige, irritation at her tone coursing through his body.

"Of course, Ralph worships you, copies everything you do. Including acting out immaturely."

Walter had no response to that statement. Paige was right, of course. He'd planned this evening to tell her his feelings for her and as soon as things hadn't gone as planned he'd just stuffed his emotions down and acted like an idiot. Her words stung. "Is it so awful being me? Being around me?"

"My son just locked us in this rundown Airstream because he's freaked out about an overdue book report. That level of maturity seems like it's right out of the Walter O'Brien playbook. So I would have to say no at this moment, I am not a fan." Paige had come here tonight to clear the air about her abrupt departure a few days ago and now all she was doing was making things worse.

Walter opened his mouth to defend himself when Paige put up a hand to silence him. "Let's not say anything else just now…anything else we may not be able to take back."

"Fine." Walter huffed. "I'm sure I can find a way out of here. Just give me a minute to think." In the uncomfortable silence that followed, a muffled voice made its way into the trailer where Paige and Walter stood in tense silence.

"Paige, I've been ignoring you because I'm in love with you."

"What is that noise?" Paige pressed her ear to the door of the trailer. "Is that Ralph? What is he saying?"

"I've been in love with you since shortly after we met."

Walter would have recognized those words anywhere. He didn't need a 197 IQ to realize that Ralph must have heard him practicing expressing his feelings for Paige. The boy's eidetic memory meant he remembered every single word.

Walter felt a surge of panic well up in his chest and he had to consciously restrain himself from pushing Paige away from the door, so she wouldn't hear anything else Ralph was saying.

"When we kissed I felt like I had discovered Grand Unified Field Theory."

"Ralph!" Walter yelled. "Stop this! Stop doing this right now!"

Paige was startled at Walter's tone. She'd never heard him raise his voice to anyone before, let alone Ralph.

Ralph's muffled replay came through the thin walls of the Airstream. "I will stop, but only if you tell her yourself."

Walter felt the heat of Paige's gaze on him as he considered his options. None of them great. Megan was right, I just have to tell her exactly how I feel. Then I can figure out a way to live without her love in return.

Taking a deep breath, he moved as far away from Paige as possible in the confined space, Walter repeated Ralph's earlier words, since fortunately for him, she hadn't been able to fully make out what Ralph was saying. "Paige, I've been ignoring you because… because I'm in l-love with you. I've been in love with you since shortly after we met. When we… when we k-kissed I felt like I had discovered Grand Unified Field Theory." Walter continued. "When you kissed me back. No one had ever… no one had ever kissed me like that before. You ch-changed my life in an instant. But when you ran out, I had no idea what to do with your reaction to our kiss. I know that ignoring…ignoring you was a display of my low EQ. I apologize f-for that. But there is something… something that I need you to know. And I-I know you-you don't feel the same as I do and that's okay, but I-I just wanted you to know."

Paige felt tears well up in her eyes, realizing how badly her actions had bruised Walter's heart. How could he believe that she didn't love him back? That kiss had been so hot it had nearly melted every thought out of her brain. But suddenly it all made sense. She had never actually told him how she felt. Walter dealt in facts, in math and science, in concrete measurements, not feelings, and implications. She moved towards him. "Walter. I'm in love with you too."

"Paige, you know as a genius, I only state facts and normals often do not. I do not think you are stating a fact right now. When we kissed you said, "I have to go." and ran out. That did not feel like love based on any understanding I have of the concept."

Paige reached toward Walter's hand, but instead of letting her grasp it, he stuffed both of his hands into his pants pockets. "Oh, Walter. I'm so sorry. I never meant for my stuff to affect you so deeply. I wanted nothing more than to stay that day and kiss you until we were both senseless."

"Why didn't you?" Walter hated the way his voice cracked as he spoke. "Why did you run out without a word?"

"Because as amazing love is, especially with you, it's… it's complicated."

Walter's brow furrowed in irritation at her response. "What is complicated about it? Either you love me back like you just said or you don't. Which is what your actions a few days ago said. It can't be both."

Paige sighed, he really wasn't going to make this easy, and honestly, she wouldn't have deserved it if he had. "That's the complicated part. I knew the moment that we kissed that I needed to make a clean break with Drew." Walter grunted at the name.

"No, it's not like that. It's not like Drew and I had been a thing since he showed back up in our lives. But I had been leaving the door open for the possibility, I guess. You and I weren't a thing and… and why shouldn't I have tried to make it work with the father of my child at least one more time when there was no reason… no real reason not to?

"But the moment we kissed, I finally knew it was truly over with Drew. Even if you and I couldn't figure out how to make this work, he and I were done. I never felt anything close to the attraction and intimacy… to the human connection I feel with you, Walter." She paused, searching for the words to explain herself. "Whether we are cleaning up dinner together… or you are painting my nails… or I am just on the sofa watching you and Ralph play video games together… it's never been like that with anyone. Day-to-day stuff that is better than the romantic stuff with someone else.

Paige met Walter's gaze. "Let alone that kiss that almost made me almost spontaneously combust."

"Spontaneous combustion is a myth–"

As Paige pressed her lips to his, any further coherent thought was impossible as the sensation of this beautiful woman who loved him (loved him!) flooded Walter's senses. He eagerly pressed Paige's body against his as he drew her tightly into his arms. He was never going to let her go again. Paige felt her knees buckle as Walter deepened the kiss, and he reluctantly dragged his lips away from hers as they heard the lock Ralph had placed on the Airstream door disengage. Foreheads pressing together, Walter and Paige shared a breathless laugh as they gazed into each other's eyes.

Walter spoke first, "That was…"

"Amazing…" Paige finished his thought breathlessly.

"I love you, Paige. I never believed that love was anything more than a delusion until I met you. But now I know that hypothesis has been disproven. There is no denying that I love you."

"I love you, too, Walter. And I plan to spend the rest of my life making sure you never doubt the truthfulness of that statement."

Walter smiled at Paige, "I look forward to your efforts in that endeavor. I believe it will be highly enjoyable."

With a mischievous glint in her eye, Paige pulled Walter in for another kiss. Paige knew she was going to have to deal with Ralph, but that could wait just a few minutes more.

August 22, 2023


Author's Note

Thank you to everyone who read this story. And a HUGE virtual hug to everyone who reviewed it. I discovered Scorpion on streaming in 2023. While I wish I had found it while it was still airing, the fact that it is finding new fans is a testament to its brilliance. If you are finding Team Scorpion in 2023 or even later, I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I did.