Chapter Seventy-Two
It was almost two weeks since Sharon had left for Kilkenny Farms – there had been one telegram, and two notes since then. For Heath it seemed even longer, as he missed Sharon's presence in the house. Sharon oversaw everything and brought such a light to the house.
At first he had been almost relieved, because he was so upset with her, about the actions with the Royal Navy Lord. There was also the matter that he was still annoyed about how his mother and Jarrod had sided with Sharon about going down to the settlement alone.
By the fifth day though he stopped being annoyed, and started noticing how different the house was without her. Heath had not realized how much Sharon did, or the special touches she brought to everything made the house a home. It was clear that everyone in the household was affected by her absence.
Violet was doing her best, but Heath had heard from Silas how much she was missing Mrs. Heath. By the second week Sean and Tara were restless and snapping at each other. Heath, who was struggling with his own feelings about Sharon not being the house, was tempted to take the children to the Big House.
They had just finished dinner, which had been a struggle. Sean, being a young boy, was hungry no matter what. Tara though had not touched anything on her plate. Further when Sean went to take what she had not eaten, she yanked the plate away from him.
"How dare you take my plate!" Tara stood up, her dark blue eyes blazing with fury.
"Well it is not like you are going to eat it!?" Sean retorted quickly but was soon taken aback when Tara picked some mashed potatoes and threw them at her brother.
"As if I would want your mashed potatoes." Sean stood up and looked directly at his sister. "If we are throwing food take these rolls." He had picked up one of the rolls in the basket and chucked it at his sister.
Heath, sitting at the top of the dining table, realized how out of control it was. Privately he had seen Sharon's spirit in her children, and she would probably giggle about it if she was here.
"This needs to stop now." Heath stood up, as he looked at both children. "We do not waste food, and neither do we throw food. Clearly you are both done, so it is bedtime."
"But Papa what about dessert?" Tara asked, while giving her brother a baleful look.
"It seems to me that since you Tara did not finish your meal, while your brother was chucking rolls at you – why would either of you need dessert?" Heath in truth was planning on putting the children to bed right away. Luckily Violet came into the dining room, followed by Luisa the house maid.
Violet took charge of the children, while Luisa took care of the table. Heath understood how the children missed Sharon – as he did. It was half an hour later and Violet let him know that the children were ready for bed. Heath said the evening prayers with them, before escorting them into bed. Normally he and Sharon did this together; he hated how he ached for her.
It was later in the evening, and Heath was in his study, drinking his second glass of bourbon. As he finished the glass, he lit another cigarette, even as he knew there would be no satisfaction from the alcohol or tobacco.
He started to sort through the mail that had come in earlier. The Barkley's had a central delivery, that one of the hands picked up each day. Flora, the head housemaid, who worked under Silas, took charge of the mail bag.
Heath half-heartedly looked at the mail, which was ads, and solicitations for various causes. Just as he went to chuck the pile into the waste bin, a square envelope fell out. He recognized the quality of the paper right away, as he picked it up. The handwriting was unfamiliar; the letter was sealed with red wax, that showed a stag's head.
He noted his name on the envelope, in a perfect copper plate script. Heath had been a subject of interest since the Vice President's visit. More than one mine owner, as well as rich and important businessmen had reached out to him. He picked up his letter opener – it was silver with a turquoise stone on the handle – a symbol of good luck. When he opened and read the letter, he felt like a knife stabbed his heart.
Hello Heath, I know you are surprised that I am writing to you – I too find myself surprised at writing to you. A man's marriage is their own private concern, and outsiders should not stick their nose in the covenant.
As much as I wanted to honor that, I cannot because you are married to the woman I love. When I met Sharon, she was like no other girl I had met – lovely, well spoken, and resourceful. She became my best friend, as we enjoyed a magical Irish summer. Both of us knew though, what our world was, and how our relationship could never be.
When I saw her at the reception, all those feelings came back to me. I always knew that she was destined for great things, besides being a servant. Seeing her awakened all the memories I had forced myself to put aside because of our circumstances.
Spending time with her – the beautiful woman she had become – I fell in love all over again. One of Sharon's great gifts is that anyone who spends time with her comes away a better person.
You are a very fortunate and blessed man to be married to Sharon. I would happily give up my naval career to have her, even as I know that she would never ask that of me.
My wish, in writing this letter, is that you will come to adore her, cherish her, and love her as I do.
Eamonn Burke
Heath read the letter four more times, even as each time tore at his heart. Eamonn would do anything for Sharon – it came to him if he had not come up with his plan – Sharon would have been free to marry Eamonn. He had forced her hand – using his money and power – to get what he wanted. Not Sharon but Simon – which was all for naught.
He reread the line in the letter, about one of Sharon's great gifts is that anyone who spends time with her comes away a better person. Yes, Heath realized she did have that gift, to bring out the best in people. Well, everyone but him – as recoiled at his behavior for the last two months.
It also came to him how much he loved Sharon – even as he had not wanted to. The last thing he had wanted was to get hurt, but pushing Sharon away was hurting worse than when she had turned him down the first time he had proposed. Heath stubbed his cigarette out and set the half full glass of bourbon aside. He walked upstairs and down the hall to Sharon's room, where he paused in the doorway.
Moonlight flooded the room, as Heath noted how lovely it looked. He felt a strong desire to share this with Sharon – not her room – but their room. He moved over to the bed, and took his boots off, before laying down on the bed. He smelled her floral scent and pulled the pillow close against him.
Even as he imagined her with him, he knew that it would never happen. He had used her to get what he wanted, expecting her to be grateful for what he could do for her and the children. Heath thought back to the evening in San Francisco, where she had dazzled the Vice President, and all of society.
He remembered how enjoyable the trip to the city had been. Suddenly a memory came to him – how she had asked him to help her out of the dress. The picture of her in her undergarments caused an ache in the lower part of his body. Heath remembered how he had been annoyed at the Lt. Governor at the wedding, the Vice President at the ball, and at Eamonn for the last two weeks.
It was jealously - and his love for Sharon - that had caused the annoyance with the men. Heath sighed heavily, not seeing a way to make it right with Sharon. She hated him, and with good reason from his point of view. Just as he was falling to his lowest thoughts the door to the room opened.
"Mama, mama" he heard Tara's voice and turned to see her and Sean in the doorway. They looked so small and were holding hands; Heath sat up against the pillows glad that he had not finished the second glass of bourbon.
"Papa, oh papa" the little girl came over to him and jumped on the bed, snuggling against him. Sean followed suit, and Heath put his arms around the children.
"Do you miss mum? I miss her so much." Sean was tired of trying to keep Tara happy. He and his mother had always had a special connection.
"Yes, Sean, I miss her so much!" Heath stated, understanding where the boy was coming from. He and Leah had been so close because it had just been the two of them. It came to him that Sean and Sharon had a similar bond, which made him happy.
An idea came to him – maybe he could make everything right. Sharon was hurt and angry with him right now, with good reason. Heath thought back to their honeymoon, and their Sunday evening chats. Maybe she still had some feelings for him. There was also the fact that he was the only father her children knew. Heath realized he needed to go down to Kilkenny Farms and confess his feelings.
The next morning…
Nick Barkley came into the dining room for breakfast worried about Heath. He had been expecting his brother to meet him in the north pasture. They had a long task list, and he relied on Heath's ability to manage the details. Instead, Nick had been on his own; while he always saw the big picture, Heath was the person who could put the plan into place.
The last week his brother had not always been present, and several items had almost fallen through the cracks. Nick had found himself having to follow up on Heath's tasks, to make sure they were done. It was exhausting; further he was concerned about his brother.
The scene in the front hall ten days ago resonated in his mind. He and Priscilla had talked about it, and Nick had come to understand why Victoria and Jarrod had not wanted Heath to go with Sharon. However, he had seen his brother's stiff gait and countenance and knew he was hurt and angry. Even as he felt for his brother, he knew that his mother and Jarrod had done the right thing.
Victoria looked up from her place at the head of the table, as Nick came into the room. Jarrod was already there, and they had been talking about the upcoming mayor's race in San Francisco.
"Good morning. Has anyone seen Heath?" Nick announced, trying to sound casual. "He was supposed to meet me in the north pasture – is everything all right?" Even as he asked the question, he knew that nothing was all right, and it might never be right.
"Mr. Nick, you need to get yourself some food, and a cup of coffee." Silas had come into the room. He knew that Nick was dealing with the fallout from Sharon's trip to Kilkenny Farms. Violet had kept him appraised of what was going with the couple, and children. He knew she was sad and worried, and having to act as nanny on top of the regular household duties was wearing her down.
He loved her, and they had talked about marriage. If she wanted to keep on working for Senor Heath and his family, he would not have a problem with it. Silas would though insist that they get a nanny for the children.
Nick filled a plate and went to sit down, as Silas poured coffee for him. Jarrod reminded him that he still had to sign the contracts that were on the desk in the study. As he said that, Jarrod wished he had not – Nick had a lot on his plate right now. Just then Heath striding into the dining room, and everyone stopped eating to look at him.
"Good god you look like hell!" Nick exclaimed, noting the bags under his brother's eyes. "Did you get any sleep last night? And why weren't you in the north pasture this morning?"
"The north pasture?" Heath had in fact not slept well – he and the children had spent all night in Sharon's room. Once he had told them about his plans, they snuggled him tight and went to sleep. For Heath he was scared that he would not be able to make things right with Sharon. Being in her bed, and smelling her floral fragrance only made him ache more.
"I need a favor – actually two favors." It came to him that going down to Kilkenny Farms would leave Nick shorthanded. This was a busy time of year before roundup; Heath though decided that Sharon was more important than anything else.
"I want to go down to Kilkenny Farms, to check on Sharon." Heath looked at his brothers and mother, hoping they did not know what an ass he had been. "Could Sean and Tara come stay here? And Nick, I know it will leave you shorthanded, but this is important."
"Yes, you should go down to Kilkenny Farms – I am sure the fever has died down." Jarrod declared with fervor. He saw a fire in his brother's eyes and hoped that distance had worked its magic. "I can easily pick up the slack on the ranch work, since my case load is very light."
"We will be glad to have the children." Priscilla came into the room, wearing a white dress sprigged with pink and blue flowers. Her hair was put up, with a pink bow at the back. She had heard Jarrod's words before she came into the room. She hoped that Heath's gesture would impress Sharon.
"Thank you. I will go get Sean and Tara." Heath gave his family a grateful smile.
"Heath, would you like me to come with you, to help pack their bags?" Victoria asked, and he acquiesced gladly.
It was two hours later, and Heath was on the train heading south. When they arrived at Modesto, he hired a buggy and horse from the livery. It was after four o'clock when he arrived at Kilkenny Farms. There was an eerie quiet, and no activity in the square. He recognized it as a symptom of sickness and death. Heath went to Jimmy's house and knocked on the door. Jimmy came up to the door, looking old, tired, and worried. The greeting he gave Heath caused his heart to drop.
