Chapter 3 – All of Me
I ran as far as my feet and skates could take me. I dashed all the way into the forest area, which was actually pretty far away from Tails's lab. That's when I couldn't take it anymore and I stopped by a tree. I bent over and clenched my legs, as I panted constantly and held onto the tree with one hand. I could feel my energy almost depleted. I then keeled over and hit the ground. My mind wasn't able to withstand such a mental attack.
"Maybe watching that video was a bad idea…" I muttered, as some soil managed to get into my mouth. "But… I was able to see Maria again…"
The memories seemed to have subsided and I started to regain control of myself. My body went limp and before I knew it, I dozed off to sleep, with my head lying snugly against the soil.
As I slept, I started to dream. Although I must say it didn't feel like dreaming. It all felt too real for it to be just a dream. I was standing in the middle of a river, but what was strange is that the water wasn't getting me wet. I lifted an arm that was inside the water and I saw that it was completely dry. I tried lowering it back into the water and then I lifted it up again but it was still dry. I seemed to be inside a void of sorts, as I looked up to the sky and was met with a dull colored sky without any clouds. I couldn't even describe it as a sky, it was more like a giant room. I was trying to make sense of my surroundings, until I saw someone that was floating a bit far away from me. It was my own self, floating and staring back at me. He flashed an evil grin and spoke.
"You let her die."
"What?"
"You let Maria die. Just accept it."
"What are you talking about?" I took a step back, his words stabbing at my heart.
"You're the Ultimate Life Form. The Ultimate Life Form can do anything, right? You should've protected her, but you didn't," he snarled. "You let the soldiers kill her! They gunned her down like a dog!"
"I-I tried to save her!" I stuttered and clenched my fist. "I did everything that was in my power to save her!"
"No, you didn't. She got shot despite your efforts. Your best wasn't good enough!"
"Shut up! What do you know about what happened that day on the ARK? You may look like me, but you are not me!" I snapped.
"Oh, but I am you, Shadow. I know you all too well. I am that nasty side of you that pops up every now and then in your life. I am the guilt that eats at you every single day!" He cackled.
"I don't know what you want from me, but don't test me. It will be a mistake if you do." My gaze intensified and I looked straight into his eyes. "I doubt you can even touch me-"
In a matter of seconds, I saw him teleport from where he was and appeared right in front of me. He swung his fist into my stomach and sent me flying. I fell on my back and winced. That punch and the impact on my back felt as real as it could get. I now knew I was in danger.
"Agh…" I got up slowly and sprinted towards him. I managed to pin him down and restrain him so he wouldn't be able to punch or kick back. I punched him repeatedly in the face, using all my strength to knock him out. I kept on doing this until I started to run out of breath and stamina.
"Oho… don't tell me that's all you got?!" He smirked.
"Huh?"
"You will never be able to defeat me. I am just an idea, a concept. I am real, but just real inside your head. I am practically invincible," he flicked my forehead with his fingers. I flinched at his gesture.
"Are you the one that has been messing with my head?" Exhausted, I started to pant.
"Why, yes! That has been, indeed, me. And I won't leave you alone until you relive your memories on the ARK."
"Why would you do such a thing? I want to be left alone, I don't want to remember anything else anymore! I've already spent enough time as it is reminiscing all of that! Let alone the fact that, every single thing that has to do with Maria is incredibly painful! I should've never watched that video!"
"I'm trying to teach you a lesson with the memories. So you admit watching the video was a mistake?" He grinned.
"No, I never said that-"
"You are all the things that are wrong with you. You let her die, you actually didn't want to watch that video, you're a lone wolf and if anybody shows you just a tiny bit of kindness you shove them away!"
"That's not true!"
"Prove it!"
"…I consider Rouge and Omega to be my friends. I may not show it or say it too much, but they know I would be there for them if something happened," I stated as firmly as I could.
"You just told them to leave you alone, how ironic," he slid his tongue across his teeth, savoring the moment. "Also, you don't consider Sonic as your friend? How about Tails and Knuckles? After all they've done for you!"
"No, you don't understand, I needed to be alone so I could-"
"So you could what?" He cut me off once more.
"Would you stop interrupting me halfway through?!" I growled. "If I have to go through all of those memories on the ARK yet again, and it means that you will leave me alone once and for all, I will do it."
"How wonderful!" He did a little clap. "But I won't go easy on you."
He then vanished into thin air. The river started to swirl like if it had just been flushed and disappeared into a hole in the ground. The room turned dark. And then I woke up.
I gasped for air when I recovered consciousness. I was scared out of my wits because my own enemy was…myself? But that couldn't be me, I didn't act like him in the slightest. Or maybe it was really me. I wasn't sure at all, this was all very confusing. I wondered if he had the ability to end my life even if he was just a concept, like he had said. I noticed that my back and my stomach didn't hurt anymore. Maybe it was just all inside my head. I still decided to be wary and to be ready if he came back again.
I noticed that it was the next day already, birds were chirping all around me and the sun was in my face. I got up and stretched, once more making sure that I wasn't actually hurt. I realized I didn't know where I was. Last night I just ran and ran without thinking properly. My brain overloading on memories was driving me insane. I thought that the best course of action to take was to climb a tree and see my surroundings and to try and figure out how to get out of here. I dashed up a nearby tree and stood on a branch.
"I can't see where Tails's lab is…" I squinted into the horizon. "Dammit, if only I had a Chaos Emerald with me…"
I sighed and decided to try and find my way out of here. Just as I was about to get down from the tree, a stabbing pain rushed to my head.
"Tsk tsk tsk, where do you think you're going?"
"You again."
"You won't get rid of me that easily. We have more important things to do, there's quite a lot of things to do on the agenda! How about we take a trip across memory lane, just you and I? How's that sound?" He boomed inside my head.
"Let go of me, I have to get back to Rouge and Omega, I'm sure they're worried already," I held a hand to my head, wincing.
"It's time for us to visit the ARK!" He sang.
Just as he said this, I lost my balance and fell from the tree. My reflexes were fast enough for me to land on my feet and hands.
"You bastard," I muttered.
"Now, let's not be rude, yes? After all, you're stuck with me, so I guess you'll have to get along~"
"I don't care about your idiotic memories, I've done my part with them, just let me go."
"Now that wouldn't be fun at all."
I felt the stabbing pain increase tenfold, so much so, that it made me fall to my knees. The pain was so intense that I started to sweat.
"Fine…let's do it then. I'll play your silly little game," I barked.
"Now that's how I like it! Let's start with memory number one!" He chirped.
Just as he uttered those words, I lost consciousness. When I opened my eyes again, I saw the ARK in front of me. I was floating in space alongside the other me. Seeing the ARK felt as vivid as I had originally seen it 50 years ago. It didn't even feel like a memory.
"How is this possible?" I asked, bewildered.
"The mind is very powerful, Shadow. Yours, to be precise. This is an exact recreation of what you saw years ago," the other me promptly explained. "Now let's go inside the ARK, shall we?"
We were now inside the ARK itself. I could see myself, the doctor and… Maria when she was much younger.
"This is one of your most vivid memories. In fact, all the memories that I will show you are just those, the ones you remember the most," the other me said.
"Maria…" I said, staring at her eight year old self.
I had just recently stepped out of the pod I had been in for one year and I was standing face to face with the doctor and Maria.
"Welcome to the world, Shadow. I am your creator, Professor Gerald Robotnik. It is nice to finally meet you," the professor extended a hand towards me.
I blankly stared at his hand, not knowing what this gesture meant.
"Oh dear me, I apologize Shadow. I want to give you my hand in the form of a greeting. It is a way of saying hello. You are supposed to shake my hand," the professor explained.
I kept on staring at his hand and took hold of it. I shaked it like he had told me to.
"Wonderful! You now know how to properly greet someone." Excitement could be heard in his voice. "There's somebody else I would like for you to meet, please wait here."
The wait wasn't long at all, as the professor immediately brought in someone who was hiding behind him.
"Now Maria, don't be shy. Shadow wouldn't hurt a fly, he's eager to meet you." The Professor stepped aside and revealed a very young blonde girl. "Shadow my boy, this is Maria, she is my granddaughter. I hope you two will be the best of friends!"
"Hi Shadow…" Maria waved at me sheepishly.
"Hi Maria…"I mirrored her actions exactly, waving back at her.
"His first words!" The Professor exclaimed.
"You have a very nice voice, Shadow. I like it," Maria smiled.
"In this case Shadow, since Maria gave you a compliment, you have to say 'thank you' in return. It's how we show our gratitude," the professor came near me and placed a hand on one of my shoulders.
"Thank you," I uttered.
Maria seemed delighted with my response.
"What's a friend?" I asked, as I could feel my ears perking up.
"Ah, a friend! Everybody should have at least one of them. You see Shadow, a friend is someone who cares about you, someone with whom you like spending time with and that makes you feel like yourself when you're around them. Of course, there are many other things that I could say that would describe what a friend is, but you will be learning that along the way," the professor elaborated.
"You can be my friend, Shadow," Maria came near me and held one of my hands. As soon as she came in contact with me, she squealed out of delight. "Grandpa, he's so so cute and fluffy!"
"What is cute and what is fluffy?" I asked, not understanding Maria's sudden reaction to me.
"I believe I will have to leave that to Maria to explain," he chuckled. "By the way, Shadow, we need to get you gloves to protect your hands and some skates I made especially for you, for your feet."
For some reason, I already knew what hands and feet were. I stared at both of them, as Maria didn't waste a single second expertly explaning what the words cute and fluffy meant. She also never let go of my hand. Her hand was tightly enclosed around mine. It wasn't nor too tight nor too loose. It was a firm grip on my hand, and I could feel her convey her kindness through it. Maria and I followed the professor into another room, and then the memory was over.
"Soooo…how was it?" The other me inquired.
"It's been a long time since I remembered this particular memory. I couldn't even recall some of the things that happened. I guess it was nice… but it's still very hurtful for me," I glared at him.
"Think of this as your very own therapy session. The more you're exposed to this, the more you'll be able to get over it~"
"I don't need any stupid therapy. I'm already over it, you're just rubbing it in!" I snarled and threw a calculated punch at his face.
He blocked my punch with his own fist.
"I've told you already, you will never be able to strike me, just let it go already," he laughed.
"I already saw the memory you wanted me to see. I need to get back to Rouge, Omega and Sonic and his friends, I have had enough of you."
"Fair enough, but this won't be the last time you'll see me. Au revoir, Shadow the Hedgehog," he snickered and with that, he vanished. The ARK dissipated in front of my eyes and I was back in the woods.
I was about to start heading back, when I could feel a twinge inside my heart. I could feel that longing for being with Maria once more, the one that always dwelled inside me, no matter what I did. I usually was good at controlling it and at ignoring it, but that memory triggered it again for me. And I hated it. There was a good reason why I was always trying to fill my mind with other things and to never spend a long time thinking about Maria and the ARK. The pain always intensified, and it felt like a burden looming over me.
I figured the others would come and look for me, so I decided I should just let them do that. What I felt was so strong, that I thought I needed some time alone to reflect and slowly let the longing and pain calm down inside my heart.
I walked further into the woods looking for some kind of solace, with just the birds, the morning sun and the wind keeping me company.
