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Wally: Name a way to be nice to people
Dick: Not murdering people
Wally: Setting the bar really low, but I'll allow it
Wally: One day someone will think about you for the last time
Dick: Not if I eat the Declaration of Independence they won't
Wally: Why… why is that a thought in your head?
Wally: Don't bring a gun to a knife fight.
Don't bring a knife to a knife fighter either.
Stop going to knife fights altogether
What's your deal with knife fights?
Dick: What I do on my off time is no one's concern
Dick: Time for plan G
Wally: Don't you mean plan B?
Dick: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties
Wally: What about plan D?
Dick: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago
Wally: What about plan E?
Dick: I'm hoping not to use it. You die in plan e
Wally: Oh… yeah let's wait
Wally: Did you hear about Joe
Dick: What's Joe?
Wally: Who's Joe*
Dick: Joe Mama
Wally: Son of a B****
Wally: I don't think we can ignore the elephant in the room anymore
Dick: I think the elephant really ties the room together
Wally: Tried a Wendy's burger for the first time today. Treated like a burger
*Tasted
The did NOT put me on the grill
Dick: I was at breakfast this morning with Tim and almost told him that I was getting really into orange juice lately before I realized that is something a literal toddler would say.
Wally: Dude I am always into orange juice, you want me to bring some over?
Dick: Actually, yeah. That sounds awesome
Wally: I killed an Oyster on purpose once. Smashed it with a rock. It's one of my life's biggest regrets.
Dick: Oysters can't feel pain
Wally: What about my pain? What about my sorrow?
Wally: How exactly do I 'borrow a cow'?
Dick: We have time to figure that part out
Wally: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of b****?
Dick: Sure, if you could ask the question without the usual level of stupid
Dick: Jail is no fun
Wally: You've been
Dick: Once
In Monopoly
Dick: Well, that was the weirdest occult summoning ritual I've ever walked in on
Wally: How many have you walked in on
Dick: Honestly, I don't bother counting
Dick: Even IF I do 19 flips and s*** before I throw a punch
That punch will make you see the face of God
It's the only punch I need.
Wally: It's just, I mean
Are the 19 flips really that necessary?
Dick: Do I need to repeat myself?
Dick: I lured you to my lair because I crave the deadliest game
Wally: Knife Monopoly?
Dick: That isn't what I was going to say but now I want to know what knife Monopoly is
Wally: Sometimes I put commas where they don't belong because it's sexy, it's spicy, it adds a little color, and it keeps things interesting
Wally: Man, I hate Solitaire
Dick: Well what do you expect from a card game invented for the lonely?
Wally: Joy!?
Dick: How many times do you think you've seen the same bird twice?
Wally: Please don't do this to me, you've said a lot of things that f*** me up and I feel like this may be the worst.
Wally: I don't think we should ever tell Bruce about what we did yesterday
Dick: You want me to lie to Bruce?
Wally: Is that a problem?
Dick: No
Wally: Obama means Gmail
Dick: WTF
Wally: Damn autocorrect
Dick: Goooooooood morning to my beautiful best friend
Wally: It's 11 at night
Dick: Ok well, you're supposed to be asleep and weren't supposed to open that until the morning so f*** off
Dick: I bet I'm 100x smarter than you
Wally: 100x-1=-100
Dick: You wouldn't know that if your IQ was -1
Wally: I had a dream last night that a cat learned how to use a can opener and when I walked through my kitchen there were a dozen open cans of soup because said cat was looking for cat food
Dick: I told Bruce that a guard Llama could kill coyotes and he told me we still couldn't get a llama, I'm pretty sure he hates me
Wally: I'll let you get a Llama
Dick: Heyy!
I want to get into an argument
Wally: Okay, cream cheese isn't that good
Dick: I was kidding but you know what…
F*** you for real
Wally: It's really dark in here.
It's making me nervous
Dick: This is why I always wear light up sneakers
Wally: I think turtles are a big risk to our national security
Dick: May I ask why?
Wally: No
Dick: I think Clark may get outed as Superman pretty fast if he ever pushed a pull door
Dick: Dude, you've got to get me out of this f***ing house. We're out here doing puzzles, if I wanted to put together 750 pieces back together, I'll start with my mental state
Wally: Why are you all doing puzzles at 4 in the morning
Dick: Mind yo business
Dick: Is it 'for f***s sake' or 'for f*** sake'? It's for an email for work so it needs to sound professional
Wally: I think for this one you need to follow your gut
Dick: Well you're no help at all
Wally: Uno is a game based on luck unless I wil, then it's a game of strategy
Dick: The Breakfast Club isn't even about breakfast
Wally: Dude
Spoilers much?
Dick: Today marks the five year anniversary of the time I fell off some swings at the park and some kid yelled 'what season is it? Fall?'
I pray that child is dead every single day
Wally: What are you up to?
Dick: Having a panic attack
Wally: Nice
Keep me posted
Wally: Why do you need to put garlic in your pants
Dick: So Dracula won't try to eat my a**
Wally: Why would Dracula try to eat your a**
Dick: He won't. The garlic- are you even listening?
Wally: Scientist found that Vampire bats will 'French Kiss' with mouthfuls of blood to deepen social bonds
So, no I don't think romance is dead
I think I'll disappear back into the ether. Ciao
