One Man Army
Chapter 3: The bell test
Naruto had once again been a half hour early. Today though he found it much less frustrating. He was the first to arrive at training ground seven, and was quick to bring out his standard clone formation so that the squads could get a little kenjutsu practice in. He had taken Hayate-sensei's suggestion of pairing clones up and applied it to Iruka's idea with the clone squads. He now had each squad leader oversee the practice of their team, and correct any mistakes they saw. He got more training in for less chakra that way.
He had also kept the disciplinary bookshelf, though he had had to beg jiji for new books. Fewer clones were sent to the book club, but it was still an effective way to further his own internal discipline and expand his knowledge. Plus, he didn't have to read them himself. Or at least, he didn't except for when he fucked up like he did yesterday. His head was still spinning with all the protocol and jargon that he'd been forced to memorize last night.
Sasuke was the next to arrive, and when he saw Naruto's clones training as the original walked around, conferring with the squad leaders and correcting the occasional form, he had scoffed. He quickly moved aside and lent against a tree, ignoring the blond and all his clones as best he could.
When Hinata got there she saw the army of Naruto clones, and quickly went scarlet. "Naruto harem," she whispered, before passing out with a small nosebleed.
When Naruto spotted her passed out, he was quick to move over and check on her.
"Hinata-chan?" he called as he gently shook her shoulder. She slowly opened eyes, blinking confusedly up at him. Naruto couldn't help but think that her violet eyes were rather pretty.
"N-naruto-kun?" Hinata asked weakly.
"You feeling okay?" Naruto asked. "I know we were supposed to skip breakfast, but if you have low blood sugar or something, then having a snack might be a good idea."
"I-I'm okay," she assured him as she sat up. "Thank you."
"Well that's good," Naruto grinned. "You wanna warm up with me? It's probably a good idea to stretch a little before sensei arrives, right?"
"Hai," Hinata nodded.
Together the two of them went through a gentle warm up, careful not to over exert themselves before whatever test they had. They wrapped up, right around six, but Naruto decided to let his clones keep at it until Kakashi actually arrived. As the sun began to rise and there was still no sign of their sensei, he decided that that had definitely been a good idea.
"Man, is he gonna be three hours late again?" Naruto couldn't help but ask.
"I hope not," Hinata murmured.
"Whatever," Naruto sighed. "At least this time we're not trapped in that classroom. Come on Hinata-chan, let's spar."
"Wha-what!?" Hinata eeped.
"I figure we might as well do something productive, right?" Naruto explained with a grin.
"It-it's just that the juken can be rather painful, and is meant to incapacitate," Hinata explained.
"I gotcha," Naruto nodded, seeing her point. "Well how about we just do some chakra control or speed exercises."
"I-I could use some work on my speed," Hinata admitted, it was one of the things her father was always complaining about.
"Great!" Naruto cheered. "I read about this really cool excercise where we try and go through katas while in the water. What do you say we try it with that river? It should be plenty deep."
"H-hai," Hinata agreed.
The two quickly made their way to the edge of the water, where Naruto was quick to take off his kimono and sandals, keeping on only the pants.
"Eep!"
Naruto turned to find a very red Hinata.
"Oh yeah," Naruto nodded. "I guess you probably don't want to disrobe quite as much, huh? Still, probably a good idea to take off your coat. That way you can still have something dry to change into."
"H-hai," Hinata nodded, before taking off her coat. Underneath she had a lavender short sleeve shirt and long sleeved mesh armor under that. She blushed horribly when she saw Naruto look at her.
"Alright, let's get started!"
"H-hai!"
-OMA-
It was several hours before Kakashi arrived. The sun was high in the sky and Naruto and Hinata had gotten a pretty serious work out in. Naruto's clones had moved on from kenjutsu practice to team drills. Through it all Sasuke hadn't moved from his spot leaning against the tree.
"Hello there," Kakashi greeted with an eye smile.
Naruto just sighed as he dispelled the clones. If Kakashi noticed or cared, he didn't show it.
"Sorry I'm late," Kakashi apologized. "A black cat crossed my path and I had to turn around."
Naruto had to bite his tongue to keep from retorting at the horribly fake excuse. Kakashi must have known somehow, because he sent Naruto a cocky eye smile that only infuriated him further.
"Now," Kakashi continued as he pulled an alarm clock out from his bag. "For this exercise, you'll only have until 12 o'clock."
"So an hour," Sasuke replied dryly.
"Very good Sasuke, you can tell time," Kakashi replied happily. "In that time, your goal is to acquire one of these two bells, which I'll be defending."
Kakashi held up a pair of silver bells. Naruto's brow furrowed though, plainly seeing the problem.
"There's three of us," Naruto commented.
"Also true," Kakashi once again smiled. "Anyone who fails to acquire a bell before time runs out will be dismissed, and since there are only two bells, no matter what one of you will be off the team."
"Wha!?" Hinata exclaimed in surprise.
Naruto, while surprised, couldn't stop thinking that something about the scenario seemed off. He just didn't know what yet.
"Alright," Kakashi continued. "If there are no questions, then we will begin!"
Instantly the genin dispersed into the bushes, hiding until they had a plan of attack. Kakashi was impressed, for genin they hid rather well. Except for Naruto of course.
Naruto stood before Kakashi, looking at him as though he were a rather tough math problem that he was trying to solve. Mind you, since Naruto was never the best at math, that involved a lot of confused scowling.
"You know, I expected you to at least have read the first few pages of that book I assigned you," Kakashi huffed. "Shinobi protocol 3, when engaging a known hostile-"
"Attack from advantage, that is to say either from cover, high ground, or during a moment of weakness and/or inattentiveness," Naruto recited verbatim. "Shinobi protocol 6, when engaging a superior opponent, don't. If left with no choice, do not waste time, but engage quickly and with full force. Shinobi protocol 21, when approaching a mission objective, remember that force is to be used as a last resort."
"Very good," Kakashi praised, actually rather surprised he managed to get that far, and making a note to double check that those were correct and not just Naruto bluffing. From his academy file, it was something Kakashi wouldn't put past him.
"Konoha jonin Kakashi Hatake," Naruto began. "I am in need of the bells currently attached to your belt. I request you to hand them over. If there is a price you desire, then I am open to negotiations." (Yes, this is inspired by Seals are Easy People are Hard)
"I'll negotiate, you can have the bells," Kakashi replied, much to the surprise of all three genin. Then he disappeared, only to reappear behind Naruto. "When you take them from me."
Before Naruto could move he received a rough kick to the back that sent him flying into the bushes. Grumbling as he pulled himself up, Naruto put his hands in the ram sign. "Protocol 6 it is boys!" he shouted.
Kakashi couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in surprise as ten copies of Naruto raced out of the woods right for him with their bokken at the ready. He had read the report and seen that Naruto had learned the shadow clone jutsu, but still, ten was a rather impressive feat for a genin.
Kakashi had been expecting to be approached in a mad rush, so when the clones instead formed a loose circle around him, each keeping their wooden sword between him and themselves, he was rather pleasantly surprised. He wasn't worried though, so he pulled out his little orange book and waited to see what Naruto would do.
"Isn't that the smut that jiji reads?" one of the clones asked.
"It is!" Another shouted. "Our sensei's a pervert!"
"And he's reading it around kids," another gasped. "Oh my god! He's a pedophile!"
"Nya, nya," Kakashi waved off his accusations, eyes never leaving his Icha Icha. "It's just a book, Naruto. Don't put so much thought into it."
"Alpha squad, advance!" one of the clones called out. Slowly the clones began to make their way forward, never taking their eyes off of Kakashi.
Just before they were in reach, Kakashi dashed forward, right towards the one that had called out their advance. He ducked under the bokken, and delivered a kick to the stomach that poofed the clone. After a quick melee, where Kakashi never put down his book, Kakashi found himself in a finally empty clearing, with only a little smoke for company.
That was pretty good given just a week of training, Kakashi couldn't help but admit to himself.
"That's our queue boys!" a voice called. Slowly, a new crowd emerged from the bushes. A rather impressive ring of Narutos that fully encircled Kakashi stepped forward, each with their own bokken and fierce gleam in their eye.
There must be a hundred of them, Kakashi inwardly gaped, hiding whatever expression did manage to slip through his facade by keeping his face buried in his little orange book. That kinda chakra capacity is insane! He must already have more chakra than the third!
"Forward march!" One Naruto called, and as one each copy of Naruto began walking forward.
-OMA-
"Hinata-chan," Naruto whispered.
"Eep!" Hinata squeaked. She turned to find Naruto's face rather close as he squeezed into the foliage of the bush she was hiding in.
"Shh," Naruto reminded her. "I have a plan, but it's probably going to take all three of us. Do you trust me?"
"H-hai, Naruto-kun," Hinata nodded, still rather red from how close he was.
"Good, come with me," he whispered, grabbing her hand and quickly leading her further into the woods. "Can you use your byakugan to find Sasuke?"
It took Hinata a moment to process what he said, too focused on the feeling of his hand holding hers. It was rather rougher than she expected.
"H-hai," she agreed after collecting herself. "Byakugan!"
With her dojutsu active, Hinata could see all around them. She could see the army of Naruto fighting with their sensei, their numbers quickly dwindling.
"Sasuke is up in a tree a few hundred meters that way," Hinata pointed.
"Come on," Naruto urged, quickly jumping up into the branches of a nearby tree and heading in that direction.
He didn't actually see Sasuke, so he had to follow Hinata to where the Uchiha was peering through the branches at Naruto's clones as they engaged Kakashi. Naruto didn't have to look to know what was happening, receiving the knowledge of each of the dispersed clones. Only Epsilon and Delta squad remained, and Delta was already low on manpower. They had switched to more evasive techniques, trying to buy as much time as they could.
"Sasuke," Naruto whispered, making the Uchiha jump in surprise.
Sasuke whirled around and fixed Naruto with a glare. "What dobe?" he questioned. "Actually, forget whatever stupid reason brought you over here, tell me about these clones. Yesterday you couldn't make clones, and these are solid, so they're plainly not normal clones."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Good job captain obvious," he snarked. "They're shadow clones. That's not important right now. I figured out what's wrong with this test."
"What's that Naruto?" Hinata asked, cutting off what was surely going to be another dismissal from Sasuke.
"The parameters given don't match our previous information," Naruto explained. He saw the surprised looks on their faces, and smiled with pride at having figured it out before them. "Iruka was clear, the teams are three genin and one jonin, so how can Kakashi fail just one person?"
Hinata and Sasuke thought about that for a moment, but Naruto kept going before they could comment.
"This test must not be about getting the bells," Naruto said, getting rather excited now. "We just need to figure out what, and the three of us can all pass!"
"That's genius Naruto-kun!" Hinata exclaimed.
"Fair enough dobe," Sasuke huffed. "Doesn't change the fact that I don't need either of you to figure it out. I'm not going to let either of you hold me back."
With that Sasuke jumped to another tree, and quickly began moving further into the forest.
"Oh no," Hinata whispered, eyes wide.
"Don't worry Hinata-chan," Naruto did his best to put on a reassuring smile.
"Naruto-kun, what if the test is about teamwork!?" Hinata couldn't keep the panic from her voice.
"Oh crap," Naruto cursed under his breath, his eyes shooting to where the Uchiha bastard had disappeared.
If Naruto hurried he could probably catch up with him, but he doubted even telling him what they suspected would be enough to convince him to work with them, he just didn't have the demeanor for teamwork. They'd never get him to work with them, at least not under normal circumstances.
"I think I have an idea," Naruto told Hinata with a mischievous grin.
-OMA-
Kakashi was getting bored. Oh sure, he still had the glory that was Icha Icha, but this fight was going nowhere.
He could admit that Naruto had impressed him. His skills in kenjutsu were impressive, for only having started a week ago at least, and his team maneuvers were near perfect. It made sense he supposed, every time he trained in them, he trained at least 100 times as much as a normal person.
That said, he could only kick so many clones before he got lost in the monotony. That's probably the only reason he really noted when the normal shouts and directions were interrupted by a new command.
"Epsilon, high-low!" one clone shouted, he seemed to be the new squad leader. When Kakashi had realized that each group of ten responded to a single clone's commands, he had quickly taken each of those commanders out. A new clone took command of each squad in an almost seamless display of military logistics.
Kakashi was quickly approached by the last nine clones, all rushing him at once. Other squads had tried the same thing, and he wasn't worried. Five of the clones jumping up to swipe at him high, while the other half swiped low, was new, but Kakashi easily spun between the two pronged attack.
As he spun, Kakashi threw a few shuriken and poofed the last of the clones.
"Well, that was fun," Kakashi smiled, looking up from Icha Icha to survey the area. That smile died as he watched twenty more clones approach from the woods. "Running low on chakra already Naruto?"
"Just getting warmed up," one of the clones shot back with a cheeky smile.
Without waiting for Kakashi's response, the clones rushed forward. The formation was just the same as what he'd already dealt with, and honestly Kakashi wasn't sure if he was more frustrated with his student or disappointed. He just sighed and went back to Icha Icha.
Kakashi began popping the clones the same as before, ducking beneath the bokken and delivering quick strikes to them to make them poof. He hadn't been putting a lot of power into the strikes, so that would be why when he hit one, and it didn't poof, the real Naruto grinned at him instead of collapsing. Grabbing onto his arm, Naruto spun and threw Kakashi into the air, something that Kakashi let happen more than anything, curious to see what the new plan was.
Two figures leapt out of the woods, flying towards Kakashi. Hinata already had her fingers cloaked in chakra and Sasuke was sloppily going through hand signs. Kakashi instantly saw through it, Sasuke's file noted his dedication to getting everything down perfectly.
"Sorry Naruto," Kakashi called out as he turned to the 'Uchiha'. "You actually have to work with him if you want to pass."
Kakashi caught Hinata's fingers without even looking, before using her stomach as a springboard to push towards the 'Uchiha'. He flew almost lazily through the air before catching the 'Uchiha' with a kick to the chest that was designed more to stop his own momentum and dispel the shadow clone than anything.
"Hn," 'Sasuke' grunted at the impact, before smirking at a rather surprised Kakashi. "So, the dobe was right."
Kakashi's eyes hardened, no longer sure what was happening. He knew he hit the real Naruto on the ground, and he would have felt a kawarmi if Naruto had tried to swap with anything in the woods. A much firmer kick sent Sasuke to the earth, and Kakashi made sure he was quick to follow, replacing with a Naruto clone. When he landed before the crouched Uchiha he found his other two students quick to take flanking positions behind him. Kakashi took a step to the side and waited for the clone falling towards him to smack the ground, disappearing in smoke.
"So, the three of you are working together?" Kakashi couldn't help but ask.
"That's right," Naruto cheered. The handful of clones that remained agreed as they spread out between him and Hinata. "The teme over there may be thick headed, but even he had to listen to logic eventually."
"Shut it, dobe," Sasuke sneered.
Despite the bickering, the two of them never took their eyes off of Kakashi, which was good because he would have used that to escape and try to instill more discord.
The three genin all rushed Kakashi, who had to admit, between the close combat of the juken, the reach and number of bokken, and trying to keep an eye on Sasuke who kept back, probably looking for an opening to go for the bells, he was actually having fun. Not that it was hard, but it certainly kept him aware of what was happening.
"How will you decide who gets the bells?" Kakashi asked, not even winded despite actively fighting all three of them.
"The bells are a misdirect," Naruto declared. "Shinobi protocol 1, look underneath the underneath. Nothing is as it seems."
"The four man squad is the base unit of Konoha's shinobi forces," Sasuke pointed out.
"Which means we will all pass, by defeating you!" Hinata declared as she lunged for the bells.
Kakashi smiled at his smart little genin. He kicked Hinata in the face, sending her flying back through the small group of Narutos, poofing the clones and knocking over the real one. Then Kakashi rushed towards Sasuke, catching him off guard with a knee to the chin, just to confirm that he was real.
As Sasuke hit the ground, the bell went off, marking the end of the test.
"Is that your final answer?" Kakashi asked. "I could always give you another go of it after lunch if you want to try for the bells again."
"Believe it," Naruto groaned as he got to his feet. "Ah man, even together we didn't stand a chance."
"Of course we didn't, dobe," Sasuke huffed. "He's a jonin."
"Well, then I'm afraid," Kakashi began, pausing for dramatic effect and very pleased to see all three of his students tense. "You pass."
"Yes!" Naruto cheered, leaping up into the air. "I knew it!"
Naruto was quick to sweep Hinata up into a hug, swinging the blushing girl around in his excitement.
"We are now officially team seven," Kakashi went on, barely looking up from his Icha Icha. "We start taking missions tomorrow, so be sure to meet me here bright and early so we can get started. I'm thinking 7 am."
With that, Kakashi was quick to disappear in a swirl of leaves.
-OMA-
'Sasuke' was quick to sag in relief. "Oh Kami, ow," he moaned as he fell to the ground. He let the hinge fall away, revealing the real Naruto with a big bruise forming on his chin.
"You okay boss?" the remaining clone asked as he and Hinata approached.
"I think that bastard broke something," Naruto whined, not bothering to sit up.
"Ano," Hinata muttered, nervously pressing her index fingers as she looked between the two. "This isn't the same as your shadow clones though, is it Naruto-kun?"
"Nope!" the clone was happy to answer, and Naruto wanted to move his face as little as possible right now so he let him. The clone lifted his shirt, showing a rather impressive foot print in what appeared to be a chest made of stone. "I'm a rock clone. I can take more hits than the shadow clones, but I can't do any jutsu."
"So that's why…" Hinata let her words dropped off as she looked down at the bruised Naruto.
"Yep," the clone agreed. "Boss had to do the henge. I can't even manage to channel anything but doton, and the only doton jutsu I know is the rock clone."
"Can you make more rock clones?" Hinata asked.
"Never tried," the clone shrugged. He was quick to channel the chakra, and tried to spit out the next clone. He was surprised when something came out.
The clone that formed looked like Naruto, but also like a rock. It wasn't animated or covered in the layer of chakra that gave a clone it's humanlike appearance. Instead it was just an unmoving statue of Naruto.
"Huh," the clone huffed with a pout. "That's not right."
Hinata couldn't help but giggle at the put out look from the rock Naruto. The clone was quick to join in the laughing, and the two of them began to joke back and forth about what to do with the new addition to the field, and other places they could leave statues of the boss.
-OMA-
Sasuke scowled as he looked out at the field. He had known time was running out, so he'd come back to fight Kakashi and get the stupid bell. Kakashi may be a jonin, but Sasuke was an Uchiha elite, he'd have figured something out. Kakashi was probably tired from dealing with the dobe anyways. Kami knows it always exhausted Sasuke to have to put up with him.
When he arrived it was to find himself already engaging with the jonin, alongside Hinata and the dobe. Confused, and more than a little angry, Sasuke had taken a watch and see approach. He got to watch as the dobe apparently tricked Kakashi, making him believe they were all fighting him together, and getting them the pass.
Sasuke had never been so humiliated in his life. Not only had the dobe dared to pretend to be him, Sasuke Uchiha!, but he managed to cheat Sasuke to a victory. He'd never had to cheat before, and to make everything worse was knowing that the dobe had been right. Kakashi had passed them for teamwork, basically what the dobe had argued for all along.
"You know," a voice called from beside him in the tree, pulling Sasuke from his angry thoughts and making him jump in surprise. He turned to find Kakashi standing on the branch next to his, leaning against the trunk of the tree. "I can actually fail just one of you."
"You already said we passed," Sasuke pointed out, his voice full of venom.
"I did," Kakashi agreed. "But until I make my report to the Hokage nothing is set in stone."
"How long did you know?" Sasuke asked.
"I'll admit, the rock clone caught me off guard," Kakashi chuckled, giving Sasuke an eye smile. "A fresh from the academy genin knowing any elemental techniques is surprising. That it wasn't even taught by his family is even more so."
Sasuke felt his scowl return hearing that, knowing that the only elemental technique he knew was the great fireball, which his brother had taught him. Just where had the dobe learned this 'rock clone' of his?
"So, anything to say in regards to your performance?" Kakashi pushed.
Sasuke thought for a moment, before a smirk formed. "They never gave me the chance to join them," Sasuke lied. "I never even saw them. I went into the woods and by the time I came back with a plan they were ranting to you about teamwork."
"Hmm," Kakashi nodded. Then he gave Sasuke an eye smile and waved him off. "Very well, off you go then."
Sasuke smirked and leapt from the tree. He had hoped that his little story might get the dobe in trouble, but at least he secured his spot on the team. Now he could focus on what really mattered. Getting stronger.
-OMA-
Kakashi arrived at the Jonin team report right on time. He saw only Asuma, Kurenai, and the Hokage were there, so assumed that meant the other teams had failed. Not all that surprising given they had been filled with civilian born kids. They'd be moved from active duty teams to other important positions, like the medic, cryptanalysis, and border squads.
"You're three hours late," the Hokage deadpanned.
"Am I?" Kakashi asked, holding up his wrist where he very clearly did not have a watch. "Darn thing must be broken."
"Indeed," the Hokage hummed as he puffed at his pipe. "Report?"
"Oh, yeah," Kakashi said with his normal carefree attitude. "Team Seven passes!"
"What!?" Asuma exclaimed in shock. Kurenai also seemed surprised, but then this was her first year as a jonin sensei, so she had only heard about Kakashi's poor pass rate, that being 0 teams, while Asuma had seen it in person, even if he had been off guarding the daimyo recently.
"That's good to hear," the Hokage commented, as unflappable as ever.
"I do need a replacement for Sasuke Uchiha though," Kakashi went on. "He failed."
"Hmm," Sarutobi hummed. "That might be a problem."
"The boy has no interpersonal skills," Kakashi explained. "He's already a flight risk, and when push came to shove he was quick to try and throw his teammates under the bus, even after they had gone and carried him through the test."
"Wait," Asuma cut in. "You mean two of them passed your little bell test without teaming up with the third?"
"I am not blind Asuma," Kakashi huffed, not overly caring to explain, but sure that it would only further prove his point to the Hokage. "Naruto and Hinata teamed up, understood the mission, and even tried to get Sasuke to work with them. It was only Sasuke's attitude and superiority complex that kept all three from passing, and punishing the other two for his failings would be illogical. That said, if Sasuke won't work with the two of them, then he has no place on a ninja squad."
"Your arguments are sound," the Hokage agreed, making Kakashi smile at the old man. "However, there are no other genin available at this time."
"We'll work a man down," Kakashi offered.
"I also have to consider what is best for this village," Sarutobi continued, ignoring Kakashi completely. "While Sasuke Uchiha could revive the Uchiha clan as a civilian, you have already pointed out that the boy is a flight risk. Denying him a spot as a standard field genin would only further push him out of the village."
"You can't force him on me," Kakashi cut in, but the Hokage continued ignoring him.
"According to academy reports he has focused solely on combat skills," he went on. "Meaning he does not have any interest in the secondary appointments normally reserved for those who fail the secondary test. I also doubt he'd work any better with the members of the other rookie teams if we were to switch him for one of them."
"He might with the Hyuga prodigy," Kakashi offered, not even believing it himself since Sasuke had lacked any respect for the Hyuga heiress.
"Sasuke will remain a part of team seven," the Hokage declared, causing Kakashi to deflate as he knew he could no longer argue against it. "Kakashi," the Hokage called and Kakashi was quick to snap to attention. "You are to focus on teamwork exercises for the foreseeable future. D-rank missions only until such a time that Sasuke Uchiha has at least started to form attachments within this village. While I understand this delays the development of your other students, it should have no long lasting effects on their over all abilities."
"And if he doesn't form any attachments?" Kakashi asked, his voice completely serious.
"If in six months no progress has been made then we will revisit the issue," the Hokage decided. "Dismissed."