Stunned and unable to process any of it just yet, Din stood staring at the dead ray for a good half hour. Everything he knew about the physical world now lay in shambles. It should not have been possible for him to penetrate the ray's hide with his vibroblade, but there it was, still sunk to the hilt in the ray's head. After his mind battled with this for a while, he finally went back to the carcass to pull the blade out. He had to take both hands to it and struggled to pull it out until he cast his mind back up to the suns to ask for a boost. As soon as he asked it of them, the blade came out easily with one upward jerk of one hand. For another ten minutes, he sat on the ray's shoulder and studied the blade, then the wound he'd just pulled it from. The ray's blood was slimy and smelled like phosphorus and salt. It was a strange, luminescent shade of pale pink. He'd never seen anything like it. He wondered how many uses Aldor had found for it.
The thought of her brought him back from bewilderment. He remembered this was his tribute to her, and finally stood from the ray's shoulder and walked back toward the glen. When he got there, he put his armor back on and called R5 to bring the sledge to the beach where he'd left the ray. He had time, so he sat down by the stream, and passively watched the small silvery fish that swam upstream in sparse schools through the shimmering water, half in a trance while the ground trembled beneath him.
After a while, Din grew restless enough to walk back to the beach. But all he could do was sit and stare a bit longer at the ray, trying to replay the brief battle in his mind and failing. He had no memory of it. It was like he'd been blinded. Or overtaken. Possessed by the elements. That much he remembered. Images of the suns and the gas giant. The springs underground and the sea. All serving him through awakened instinct.
Don't use it. Forget it's there. The voice again, drifting from a deep chasm in his memory, prodding at his brain. Din knew he should be anxious, but he couldn't rouse himself to it anymore. The voice had been reduced to a whispered curiosity that Din noted, but didn't heed. Whatever he was meant to forget, he'd already used it. There was no holstering it now.
Within a couple hours, R5 arrived with the sledge, beeping and whirring and asking Din how he would get the ray onto the hovering platform. "For an astromech, you don't use your logic engine very much," Din grunted. "Just disengage the repulsorlifts and we'll drag or push it on. We can extend the panels if it's too big." R5 bristled at Din's jab, but did as he asked, and after a good fifteen minutes of pushing and hefting, they had the ray on the sledge, headed back toward the settlement.
As he walked away from the sea, Din began to come back to himself, and remembered where he was and where he was going. Pale crimson lips and nose bumps. Companionship and peace. Nothing sounded better right now than to spend an evening at the table with his son and the woman he loved, swapping thoughts and tending to little tasks. He heaved a sigh that pushed through his lungs from the very ground under his feet, and finally made himself admit that this was exactly what he wanted. What he'd always wanted. He just never let himself ask those questions until now. When he asked them and cycled through all the possible responses, he couldn't come up with a single good reason to leave the Eye. The things that meant the most to him were right here with him.
A rumble from the core of the Eye took issue with this conclusion. It didn't think he'd proven himself just yet. If he meant to stay even one more night the Eye would demand another toll. Din looked up at the gas giant, larger in the sky than he'd ever seen it, looming over him in judgment. But Din wasn't concerned. He knew his worth. And he knew the lengths he would go to for his family.
Bring it on.
It was Din's only thought when he sensed malice from above. Not the gas giant, but the foul, greedy vultures that always unnerved him. They'd caught a whiff of the ray's corpse, and wanted a piece of it. They looked spitefully down on him with their menacing white eyes when he raised his head to get the measure of them. "Fuck," he grunted flatly when one enormous, ghostly bird swooped lower in the sky, circling overhead in calculated loops, cawing and screaming in turns.
Din sighed heavily, waiting for the strike. Just another mark. Another hurdle. He'd managed hundreds of them already, and wanted nothing more than to get it over with.
Bring it on you white-eyed bastard. Get on with it so I can go home.
A loud clap of thunder answered the challenge, and drew his eyes toward the Pupil. "Fuck."
The oath was barely out of his mouth when he felt the air overhead give way under the razor precision of the diving vulture. It was faster than he'd anticipated, and before he could take a shot, he was set upon by a pair of dirty serrated talons within a storm of shimmering blue-green feathers and leathery black flesh. The bird madly brandished its talons and massive beak, fighting to get at Din's flesh through the beskar. When none of its weapons found purchase, it became frustrated and slammed its huge feet against Din's cuirass in one hard, hateful push. Knocked down and rattled, but unscathed, he jumped back up again and started blasting. He missed his shot at the sinister white eye in the featherless black head as the raptor screeched and snapped its beak, changing direction over Din's head before it came at him again from behind. Before he could turn, one giant talon ripped into his side. It missed the beskar entirely, and tore both fabric and flesh as Din spun around and blasted the beast in its bony chest, then again in the head for good measure, and it finally fell to the ground in a whirlwind of desperately beating wings and ghastly keening cries.
Fucking finally.
Din sighed with this weary thought, and holstered his blaster. He ordered R5 forward again despite the droid's protests. He knew he was wounded and he knew he was tired, but he couldn't think of it right now. Better things to think of were waiting for him at the end of the trail.
The table.
Small tasks.
Pale crimson lips.
Affectionate nose bumps.
It was these things that kept him upright when the storm finally hit their sector of the Eye. They were barely underway again when a bolt of lightning ripped through the clouds overhead to announce its arrival. The tear in his side was wet before it started raining, and Din knew he was losing a lot of blood. This storm wasn't making it any easier. The longer he walked, the more it throbbed, and the harder it was to continue forward. Luckily, they weren't far from the YT, and he breathed a labored sigh of relief when he crested a gentle slope that brought the settlement into view. He ordered R5 to take the sledge to the shielded outbuilding, and continued on through the perimeter, resolved to dress the ray tomorrow.
Before he took two steps past the disengaged ray shield, Aldor was running toward him like a frantic bird, shielded from the rain by one of her ingenious little droids. "That would've come in handy," Din called over the roar of the wind.
"We were getting so worried!You've been gone all day and when R5 left, I didn't know what to think. I was… I was scared you…" Her tone pitched lower and she sighed, looking down at the ground under her bare feet as she spoke. "I don't know what I was afraid of… oh Din, come inside…"
While she hurried him through the raging storm, zillo hide and silk reigned again. She stuttered baseless apologies in one moment, then questioned him for switching off his comm in the next. When he struggled to keep up with her, she hooked her elbow through his to keep him under the shield the hovering droid emitted around them. "I had no idea what to think. Can't believe you left your comm off. Terrible visions in my head of what might have happened to you…" As they ascended the ramp into the warmth of the hull, all her frustration faded.
She quickly caught the droid in her hand to set it aside, commanding Din to the workshop so he could warm up and get out of his wet clothes. Worry crept into the sweet alto as she spoke. "It's the warmest room in the hull… I'll get you some towels and dry clothes… the rain is colder than you realize, my Love, and it's dangerous to linger too long in the damp…" All of this while she opened the door and practically shoved him into the workshop, then floated off toward a storage cube. Soon her voice returned as she padded back into the room, telling him he could have free reign over the hull tonight if he wanted to go without his beskar for a while. She could busy herself in the cockpit for a few hours. "I have some little jobs that need to be done in there so it wouldn't be an imposition. I know you've had a hard few days, my Love…" She set some towels down on the workbench. "I'll run and get you some dry clothes. I'll be right back." And then she was gone again before Din could protest.
He hated that she was so frantic. Hated that he made her worry this much. It only just dawned on him that his "hard few days" may have been as hard on her. She would have sensed his heart reaching for her while he'd kept his mind and body away. It must have been infuriating. But from what he could tell, she forgave him before she could even get angry. Like all of it had been her own fault. He'd always hated to hear her apologize for things that weren't her fault. Now that he'd come to these overdue understandings, it practically broke his heart.
He collapsed into the one chair in the room with the weight of it, his body too spent to support itself while he tried to unwind his cape from around his neck. When a bolt of pain in his side nearly tore him in half, he finally gave up and slumped back into the chair.
While he sat there waiting for her to return, her words finally registered in his addled brain. She would give him free reign to go without his helmet for a while, she said. She would take herself off in her own home to accommodate a belief she knew he was in doubt of. It'd never even occurred to her to question it, and he was sure she never once tried to sneak a look. She didn't even glance at his hands when courtesy commanded him to wash a dish for her the first night he spent here. Everybody tried to look. Everybody wanted to know what Mando looked like under his beskar. Everyone but her. She didn't care because it didn't matter. Because she knew his heart. His Spirit. She knew it as well as Grogu did.
These thoughts still lingered in his mind when Aldor knocked. "You can come in," Din said, too tired to go to the door and unwilling to refuse anything that would give him more of her company. Aldor slipped into the room to set his clothes down on the workbench, and was about to depart after she shot a timid glance at him, as if she was worried he would be angry with her. But Din didn't want that. None of it. Aldor sensed it and stopped, watching him expectantly.
"Could you help me, Aldor?" he asked quietly. "I'm… having trouble… with my cape…"
"Of course… of course…"
Din winced through the pain as he stood up, and Aldor rushed to his side, immediately setting her nimble fingers to work on his sopping wet cape, pulling gently at the tucks and knots that he couldn't navigate right now. "What happened, Din?" Anxiety tightened her voice as she unwound the fabric from his neck to let the cape fall at his feet with a heavy, loud splat. "You're exhausted, my Love… last night you were so… and then this morning, I didn't know…"
A loud grunt burst through the modulator unchecked when her fingers ghosted over the wound in his side he'd almost forgotten.
"Oh!" she gasped when she looked down at the blood on her hand. Her face went chalk white and she swallowed hard, as if she thought she might be sick. But she recovered herself quickly, asking him, "Why didn't you say something?! Oh, I should have sensed it…" Without thinking, she bent to the gaping wound in his left side. She had just laid trembling hands on him when she froze. "Oh… forgive me, Din, but…"
"Help me… with my armor…"
She went quickly to work at the fittings under his left pauldron as Din managed to get at the vambrace through another wave of pain in his side. The word "stubborn" ran through Aldor's head. Din heard it as if she'd said it, and it extended to everything. Last night and this morning. Now and yesterday. Once he got his right thigh plate off, he finally gave in to the pain and to the remark on his character, and allowed her to remove the rest until he was down to his underfittings.
"Din," she said gently. "We'll need to get your vest off. I'm not sure it will come off over your helmet…"
"It won't."
"Then tell me how to proceed, my Love."
The request was exactly what he expected from her, and exactly the one he would answer. He'd wanted to show himself to her at least half a dozen times already, and now Din was too tired to resist it anymore. There was no reason to. In this moment he only wanted to get closer. As close as he could. To finally learn her fragrance and watch her worry over him with his own eyes. He lifted the helmet over his head with his right hand without ceremony, grunting as he let it drop into the seat of the chair behind him. He was relieved to be rid of it. "It's fine," he told her, settling his eyes on her face to take in her unfiltered features. So much more vivid and so much closer. The deep blue eyes betrayed only a hint of surprise as she looked back at him. "You asked in the only way I could yield to," he murmured.
Aldor studied his eyes for only a moment, looking intently into them. But she was more intent on tending his wound, and almost immediately turned her focus back to his vest. "Then… then let's get this off you… and to the medical bay, my Love."
Din tried to reach with his right arm, but the pain in his left side doubled him over in the attempt, and Aldor again called him stubborn in her mind, already at work on the complex array of magnets under the arms of his vest. Her dexterous fingers had them undone on both sides in seconds. She looked purposefully back up at him, and he nodded. In one excruciating tug, Din was blissfully free of his underfittings. It was all he could do not to scream, but he managed to swallow it, and only a deep grunt dragged through his throat as a soft whimper escaped Aldor's lips. "Now… now come, my Love," she said shakily. She remained at his side, keeping him steady as she guided him back out into the hall and through the engine room door.
Aldor sat him down in the corner she called the medical bay and knelt on the floor by his side to inspect the wound through his tunic. "Yes, we'll need to get your shirt off too, my Love…" she paused again, looking up into his eyes for permission. "Tell me." He nodded in response. She took hold of the cuff of his right sleeve to allow him to slowly slide his arm out of it. She quickly had the tunic over his head and gathered at the top of his left shoulder before he could even try to do it himself. She paused a moment, knowing the next step would be painful. Swallowing hard, she looked at his eyes again, apologizing already. "I'll be gentle, my Love," she whispered.
"I know."
Aldor gingerly peeled the sleeve off his left arm, holding the fabric over his side as the sleeve came down over his hand, and she let the tunic drop from her grasp. The torn fabric tugged at the wound only once or twice as it fell to the floor, and she breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll need to disinfect it before I heal it," she said as she produced a jar from her medical stores.
"The Bacta… in the N1… you… wouldn't let me…"
"Now you see why, my Love. My pitiful little scratches are nothing to this. But I can take care of it quicker… I just… we need to disinfect it first. I won't take any chances with you." She distractedly opened the jar as she inspected the gash. The ground shook when her heart hit the floor, and her face twisted into an agonized expression when she looked up at him. "Oh, my sweet Mandalorian… what did this to you?"
"What you call a vulture…"
The same sickness he'd felt at the sight of her blood turned her stomach to see his. She grimaced like she could feelit. Just like he'd felt every damn centimeter of the three rips down her back. She swallowed hard and slowly again, as if she were nauseated. Her voice was low and unsteady when she spoke. "Then you will need this. Those beasts are particularly filthy. The Force has little effect on such things…"
"No," he insisted, grabbing her wrist, knowing now what she meant to do. "Don't… use the Force…"
A pang of disappointment shot out of her and lodged itself in his heart. Her face disintegrated into a devastating expression between insult and self-doubt. "Don't you trust me?" The question was pitiful and demanding at the same time.
"Of course I do…" his response was rough. Mandalorian. He hated himself for a moment, and scrambled for the words to make it right while he took a deep breath to regain control of his voice. "I'm… I'm sorry… I…"
"Forgive me…" she whispered weakly, close to tears. "Forgive me, my Love… I'm afraid… these last few days… but I have to… have to…"
"I trust you with my life, Aldor," he said more softly. "With my son's life."
"Of course you do… of course…"
"I only meant… healing like that… you lose some of yourself… and you're already wounded, my Lady… the dogs…"
"I told you it's nothing, Din. And I would lose much more if I had to watch you suffer and die from an infected wound. It would take too long to get to the N1 in this storm. I've seen wounds like this before, and you have no idea of how quickly it could fester." She held his eyes a moment in silence, all evidence of tears long gone as her dogged stare commanded him to heed all she said. The blue flame was so much more vibrant… so much deeper… under his naked eyes. Impossible to refuse. Silk wrapped 'round zillo hide.
He released her wrist and nodded his consent.
"Besides," she said in a gentler tone, "I can think of nobody more worthy of my energy than you, Din Djarin." She went silent as she cleaned the wound with a hypospray, and began to apply a pinkish, milky ointment with whisper-light fingers. While she focused diligently on her work, Din felt her worry she'd been too harsh. He willed her to know she hadn't.
Satisfied, she set the jar of ointment aside. "We'll let that do its work for a minute or two. I'll go get your tunic from the workshop and check on Grogu…"
"Where is he?"
"He ate early, but stayed up until he knew you were safe. He was already dozing off after I brought you inside."
"He must've been worried…"
"He did push himself a bit, tracking you…"
"Tracking me?"
"Tracking your mind. With the Force." She paused, then rose to her full height as Din followed every move with his eyes. "The same way you tracked me, my Love." Fearing she'd said too much, she skittered off before Din could even consider the words.
As the pain in his side dulled under the brilliant concoction she'd used on his wound, he decided he couldn't think of any of that right now. Not how he tracked her or how he'd killed the ray or why it set him free. Instead, he allowed her endearments to repeat in his mind exactly like she said them. Softly. Like a caress across his cheek. My Love. It had come out of her mouth so easily these last few days. So natural through her alto chimes. It'd done more to ease his pain than any brilliant cure in the Universe. Just knowing how she felt. Knowing she would protect his heart as militantly as he would guard hers.
He didn't care how wise it was to love her anymore. It was too sure a fact to warrant any debate, and much too precious a gift to let go of. The ray made him see it. Along with the suns and the ground and the springs and the gas giant. He felt so strong when she was near. So alive. He didn't need armor. Didn't need anything. Just her. Just Grogu. Just the three of them together. He didn't know why he resisted it. Why, when all he felt when he looked at her was warmth and joy, peace and safety. How could he ever let go of this?
When he asked himself where else he should be, he had no answer. What cause was more worthy than this. Whatever it was. This peace. This life he'd been given. He believed in it more than he'd believed in anything. Like the trinary stars at the center of the system, the three of them combined into a perfectly balanced force of nature… the Force. He couldn't see until the last of his barriers came down. There was no need for barriers now that he'd finally barreled through and glimpsed the horizon. He was glad to be rid of them. Like his armor, they had become a hindrance. Now he wanted nothing between them. No barriers. No armor. Just himself. Her. Grogu.
In this state, he knew no relief like what he felt when Aldor came back into the engine room. He might have panicked if she'd been an instant longer. Grogu was asleep in his pod, she said. "Here's a fresh tunic, my Love…" He'd almost forgotten why he was here waiting for her. He only knew he wanted to touch her. Anywhere. Just to feel her skin and bathe himself in the cool, herbal fragrance that flooded his nostrils when she came closer. He wanted to brush his fingers through her hair and whisper how deeply he cared for her. How much he thought about her. That he loved to see her face first thing in the morning when he woke. How much he'd missed it today. Why his dreams had scared him and why he kept them from her. His arm moved to satisfy his whims, but pain bolted up his side as he grunted against his will.
"Okay," she said urgently. "I think I can take care of this now…" She looked up at him as if she only intended to glance. But he held her eyes, demanding she explain the doubt he saw in her expression. She tried to look away, but Din wouldn't allow it.
Tell me.
Aldor looked shamefully down at the floor, trembling as she answered him. "It's… been a long time… and I couldn't save Jumper… and you… don't know what I'd do… I have to…"
"Aldor." It was a whisper, but deep and purposeful, meant to gather the black blemishes from her jewel-bright eyes and cast them away. "I trust you, my Lady. Do what you must."
Din's statement succeeded in clearing her eyes, and she immediately drew herself up in steady determination. Setting the clean tunic aside, she grabbed a soft cloth from her medical kit. "I've got to dab some of this off… here…" She gently lifted his arm and Din tried to move with her of his own power, but another shot of pain brought him up short and she stopped him. "Let me… please, my Love… it won't be so painful…"
Din acquiesced, and let his arm go limp in her tender grasp. She brought his hand up to rest over her shoulder and glanced up again before she began to dab the cloth against the still-seeping tear. The muscles in his side wrenched against shredded nerve endings, and Aldor's free hand automatically shot up to his other bare shoulder, holdinghim there with a sweet, achingly tender hand. Her skin so soft. So warm. It felt like a home he couldn't remember. Such a precious touch reminding him he was real. That he was a human man and this woman cared for him. He was filled with a euphoria that almost brought him out of his body. But he needed to stay here. Needed to feel this. Bare skin on bare skin, a hundred times more consuming than the pain.
Then another dab at the wound, and it became a moment of agony and ecstasy in equal parts. As bliss burned through his blood under her touch after so many years of being untouchable, it crashed into an agonizing rip of pain up his side. The lava in his belly melted the two opposing sensations together to form something entirely new and infinitely powerful. It bolted though every cell in his body like a flash of plasma that lit him on fire. "Aldor…" He half whimpered it and half growled it, his chest heaving through a cataclysm that shook his Spirit loose. He begged her to take it in hand and set it in a safer place.
"I'm so sorry, my Love." There was a tremble in her voice, like she was near tears again. "I know how…" She trailed off as she realized her hand was on his shoulder, and her caressing fingers froze. "…must be…"
She moved to take her hand away, but he shook his head. "Stay… s.. stay… please."
"I will." It was a promise that vibrated through the marrow of his bones from the epicenter of her eyes. Then she looked down again at his wound. She was trembling, and doubt tried to return to her face despite her resistance. "Now… now come, my Love… brace yourself against me however you need to. I'll hold you steady. This… this may be painful… at first…"
"Aldor." He followed her eyes intently, bolstering her against the stubborn uncertainty. "I trust you."
Again she rallied, nodding in determination. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and lay her palm flat over the deepest part of his wound. At first he barely felt the static of her touch as she slowed her breathing mindfully. She straightened her back and hips as she drew herself up on her knees, then tightened her fingers over his right shoulder, steadying him like she promised.
Her face rested in an expression between passivity and focus as she drew in long breaths. Din began to match them while he sat there watching her, mesmerized by her fine features. Gradually, he began to feel ribbons flowing over the gash in his side. Ribbons of fine fabric that felt like her. Felt like life poured into him. The ribbons were woven with everything that made him love her. Zillo hide and silk. A beautiful caress of anesthetic that consumed the pain while she ran through his blood. But then a blinding push of raw zillo hide hit hard into his body, like a hammer pounding his side. Agony. Pure agony tore through him on a gasp. He gripped her shoulder, fighting to keep himself together. Her touch on his bare skin kept him in one piece until the agony ebbed away. Then it was gone, and all that remained was a soft, silken sheet of her that surrounded and embraced the wound while it fed the power already at work, mending his torn flesh from the inside out.
She opened her eyes, looking down at her handiwork as Din followed her gaze to see for himself. Not a trace of the tear remained. Like nothing happened. But everything had changed. She'd left some of herself inside him, bestowed like a trifle even though it was everything she had and all she was. Endless images and a thousand emotions. All of it was beautiful. Fierce. He couldn't imagine living another day of his life without it, and vowed to never give it up. She was a part of him now, caressing through his nerves and veins, healing and soothing, making him stronger as they remained as they were. Din in the chair, staring down into her eyes as she kneeled by his side, both holding on to the other's shoulder.
He wanted to give something back, so he willed her to recognize his gratitude in the tingling arc he felt between his palm and her shoulder. A soft breath told him she did, and he wanted to show her more. He kept his eyes locked on her face while her ribbons pumped through his heart and rushed into his veins. He wrapped his feelings tight around them, and told her everything he couldn't say. He promised he would not push her away again. Promised to honor her and their son in everything he did. Every breath he took. He made her feel the depth of his love for her. Told her why he couldn't fathom being parted from her anymore.
She was prepared to say something as tears misted her eyes. He silently begged her not to. She didn't need to say anything. Just let me look at you. So she remained where she was, kneeling beside him while he studied her face. So beautiful and open. Nothing to obscure the devotion in her eyes. He smoothed his hand up the bend from her shoulder to her neck, savoring the warmth and softness of her skin under his fingertips. She shuddered, leaning into his touch as he curled his fingers up under her jaw to follow the delicate line with his knuckles, fixated on how smooth her skin felt against his. How pale it was. How fragrant and fine. He unfurled his fingers over her ear and brushed them slowly into her hair. Like silk. Soft and sumptuous between his fingers. He wanted to bury his face in it. Breathe her in. Take her into his lungs and let her spread through every cell in his body.
Have to taste you.
His lips found hers before he could argue with himself, shaping them gently around her plump bottom lip to taste the sweet, fragile flesh with the tip of his tongue. So sweet. Fresh and fulfilling. She melted under his kiss, leaning into him as she opened her mouth against his to dip her tongue into the expanse. His senses reveled in an incredible flavor. So luscious and nourishing, he was sure he'd never get enough of it. He curled his fingers possessively into her hair and pulled her into him, slowly sweeping his tongue deep into her delicious essence. Frost melon and tea. Zillo hide and silk. He wanted to pull her into his lap. Bind himself to her in every possible way.
But exhaustion forced him to reluctantly break away as he sat back in the chair, staring at her intently, not knowing what to do with himself or his heart or his body. All of them were so overtaxed, he just wasn't capable of more.
"Sweet Mandalorian," she whispered. She pressed her lips briefly to his again, as if she couldn't help herself, then pushed a clean tunic into his hands. "I'll find you something to eat…"
"Aldor," he said as she rose to her feet.
"Yes, my Love."
"Thank you." He heaved a tremulous huff that shook the room. "I… want you to know… want to tell you… how much I care for you… more than… more than I know how to say. You don't… don't have to stay away. Ever. Never again, my Lady. You don't know… how much I… how much it means… how much you mean… Forgive me, my Lady… forgive me… for everything… I..."
She swooped back down to him, crouching in front of him to kiss him again and silence the stuttered apology. "There's nothing to forgive, my Love," she said quietly. "Because you mean everything to me."
She kissed him once more in a firm, deep press of her mouth to his, then she was gone like a whisp of vapor. He stared after her for a moment, his mouth filled with her flavor. Then he looked down at the black tunic in his hands. Softer and thicker than he was used to. He shook it out and immediately recognized the now-familiar weave of Aldor's finest fabric. He dropped his head into his hand and just looked down at it, his heart so full, it was almost painful. For the first time in his life, a fall of joyful tears squeezed through Din's eyelids as he buried his face in the labor of Aldor's love.
It was a selfish hope that he would come into the kitchen for the meal she offered half an hour ago. Not knowing whether he would present himself with or without his helmet if he presented himself at all, she left a dish for him on the counter, leaving it entirely up to him. Now Aldor began to wonder if he had simply decided to stay where he was for the night. She wouldn't blame him if he did. Her beloved Mandalorian had been cruelly tested, and it was a resounding testament to his strength that he was even conscious after all he'd been through.
She still worried that her lack of guidance had led to all of his trials, and she would never forgive herself for breaking her promise. She'd failed to tell him what he needed to hear when he needed to hear it. Perhaps if she'd taken his dreams more seriously, she would have known her moment.
Aldor considered this and a thousand other things while she sighed over her dinner, her mind full of nothing but him. The handsome face she never expected to see. The feel of his lips against hers. His flavor and his scent. The wordless admission that he loved her. His eyes. His tenderness. She wasn't worthy of it, and wondered if exhaustion was the only reason he took his helmet off in front of her. Perhaps it was all that drove him to kiss her. All that prompted him to say he loved her. For a moment, Aldor tried to resign herself to all these possibilities.
But his admissions had come from his thoughts without words, and in light of this, she had to dismiss her doubts. Even if all he'd done was show his face to her, Aldor knew it meant more to Din than she could ever imagine. Letting her feel his emotions unguarded and unfiltered was something unprecedented. A kiss was an intimacy beyond any he'd ever known. He would never take any of it lightly, no matter how exhausted he was. When she thought about it in these terms, it became clear his heart had opened. She wanted desperately to believe he meant to let her inside it despite her failures. Showing his face may have been his way of welcoming her.
Such a beautiful welcome it had been.
It never occurred to her to wonder what he looked like because all she needed to know was right there in his Spirit. When he took off his helmet, what she saw was not the Mandalorian or even Din Djarin. She saw only that Spirit that had wrapped itself around her heart. Now he possessed the raw organ outright with a thousand pieces of shattered brown eyes. Forsaking the words that never would have been enough, they reflected every thought and feeling forcefully outward to tell her everything.
It was all she could see while she picked over her plate, not wanting the taste of his kiss to be overtaken. She struggled to focus on anything except that flavor. Spicy. Warm and satisfying. She closed her eyes when she remembered the feel of his fingers in her hair. The power he wanted to give. His big hand cradling her through his kiss. She still trembled under his power. It whispered a wordless vow through her blood while gorgeous bands of molten gold caressed and held her. She was sure he could do whatever he wanted with it, but for reasons she'd never comprehend, he'd chosen to bestow it on her.
Aldor was sure he'd given her back more than he thought she'd lose in healing him. It almost seemed like they'd gained something from each other. She had no idea such an exchange was even possible. It was like they'd created a completed circuit with no end or beginning that flowed in a loop between them, tightening this bond that had grown stronger every day since he came here. It was unbreakable now.
But for a man like Din, who had been solitary and cloistered for so long, it may have been too much. Bound as they were, it may continue at a distance, like it always had before. Aldor wouldn't allow herself the luxury of forgetting her sad possibilities, so she continued to worry he would pull away again. This disheartening wisdom still lingered in her mind when she heard movement at last, and the beloved Spirit she knew as Din Djarin stepped around the turret and into the kitchen with no armor and no helmet. Only a tunic and trousers, and the handsome face that looked exactly like the man she already knew. Her artist's eye flashed over the tunic she'd finished just today. She was pleased to see how well it fit him, and even more pleased that he appeared to be comfortable in it.
He gazed downward at first, but soon lifted his head to settle his eyes on her. He gave her a nod. The gesture had as many meanings as it did before, and now there were a hundred more. The shattered eyes spoke volumes she couldn't yet decipher. There was too much in them right now, and she knew she would have to be patient if she meant to learn his native language.
So she fought the impulse to tend to him, knowing he wouldn't like it right now. She'd fidgeted over him enough, and she didn't want to irritate him. He'd borne enough for three cycles, so she merely returned his nod and bent her eyes back to the circuit board in front of her, where she was trying to refine buggy connections with more solder points. She resolved to focus on her work and let him be for a while, but not before she flicked her eyes up at him and let him know, "I left a plate for you on the counter, my Love."
"Thank you, my Lady." The words were soft and velvety in his deep, resonant voice. Like distant thunder. The quiet baritone was a perfect carrier for the endearment he'd assigned her. She was sure she wouldn't have liked it in any other voice.
Once he'd filled his plate, he came back to the table and sat down beside her while she forced herself to focus on the board in her hands. He took a bite of greens and sighed like he'd been craving it all day. He glanced up at her when he went in for another bite. "Forgive me if I've never told you," he said quietly. "You're a good cook."
"Thank you," she said. "I'm glad you think so. I was worried Grogu was right about you."
"Right about what?"
"He told me once that you don't like food in general." Aldor smiled, looking down again at the board. "It's the one thing he could never wrap his head around when it comes to you."
Din released a short huff of a chuckle. "He's not… wrong," he answered. "Food has always been more about survival to me than enjoyment." He shrugged. "Maybe I never had a proper meal until I came here." A small upward turn at the corners of his mouth persisted as he looked down to gather another forkful of the greens he seemed to particularly enjoy. "I'm only worried I'll get sluggish if you keep feeding me like this."
"Oh, but you counteract it attempting to keep up with Grogu."
A beautiful, tiny smile curled into his dark moustache. "He is hard to keep up with these days. He's gotten stronger. He's grown a lot since…" He trailed off, looking again at his plate, his expression turning dark as he furrowed his brow and she sensed his guilt.
"Don't blame yourself, my Love," she said quietly, fidgeting with the small soldering laser in her hands to keep herself from touching him, not wanting to push new limits he hadn't defined. "I'm sure it was in both your best interests to keep moving. You did what you had to. Like any good father would."
Din looked up at her again, his expression blank except for his eyes. They had grown softer. More liquid. He was touched by her reassurances but couldn't entirely accept them. There were no words to express it of course, but he knew she understood.
You always do.
It was a good sign that he was no longer shocked or made uneasy by their wordless conversations. Maybe she was right to let him be. He did like to find out for himself after all. Now he seemed to fully embrace their communications through the Force. His thoughts flowed more freely than they ever had while he finished his dinner and Aldor finally managed to focus on her work. The wordless impulses continued to penetrate her mind and heart almost passively. It was like listening to one of the ancient Nabooan symphonies Madame Jocasta would play for her in the Archives. Gorgeous resounding lines of feeling that harmonized beautifully with bittersweet strains of thought.
His evocative symphony of notions remained on what had passed in the engine room and everything that led up to it. She'd tried not to think of it herself. The sight of so huge and ugly a gash rending the dear Mandalorian's flesh had almost undone her. It was all she could do to maintain her composure and keep the contents of her stomach where they belonged when she saw it. Sickening to see the dirty gashes that had taken a chunk out of his golden flesh. She'd always hated the vultures. She couldn't wait to take another one down for its feathers. Use the best parts of it and leave it for its own kind to devour. She felt a sinister pleasure in it even now.
While she recovered herself from these dark thoughts, he looked up at her purposefully. She knew now how he felt when he saw the claw marks down her back. Saw her bleeding. She nodded in acknowledgement and he nodded back, then he looked down again to polish off the last bite of his steak as his mind remained on the dogs and his visions. Then everything that happened today. Aldor had no idea yet exactly what he'd been through because he hadn't shown her. But she saw the sea now. A ray. The vulture. Then the suns and the underground springs. He knew now that it wasn't a trick, but it still troubled him.
Forget it's there.
A voice manifested from his mind. It sounded like his voice, but Aldor knew it wasn't. It was a memory. One he'd buried and couldn't find. He was looking for it now because he knew it was time to dig it up again. She pulled herself away from it. It was his to find and she had no right to it.
"You do," Din whispered. "My Lady… you do." There was a depth in his voice Aldor had never heard. It was whisper quiet, but there was purpose and passion in it. His eyes fell apart as his feelings came flying out. He loved her more now than he did fifteen minutes ago. He knew she loved him. Felt it in everything she did and every word she said. It was why the visions possessed him so violently. Terrified him. Because he couldn't imagine losing her. Couldn't bear to think of being alone in the Universe when he knew she had existed in it. "This morning, I just… I had to walk…" he continued aloud, unable to stop himself now. "I wasn't angry. Never was really… not at you… but… I went toward the beach. Just followed the tributaries. I had… a moment… vision maybe… I don't know… but when I got to the beach, I just… well… I got a ray, my Lady… for you… to make up for everything… And how I got it…" He paused and sighed, looking down at his empty plate. The silence stretched long and energetic as Aldor felt him debating with himself. At last he settled his eyes on her face and continued softly. "I know something has awakened inside me. I even know… what it is. But… I've been asleep most of my life, Aldor. I have to… wake slowly."
With no need for words, Aldor merely nodded, and lay her hand over his. He wrapped his fingers around hers, looking down as he brushed his thumb along her knuckles. He bowed his head to press a pious kiss her fingers. When he looked up again, she felt the Force inside him pulling her closer. Heart and mind unified at last in blankets of golden warmth and bands of dark matter. He tentatively brushed a lock of hair out of her face. His fingertips whispered across her cheek, igniting her skin with a soft, tender touch. Aldor closed her eyes, wanting to curl her entire body into the big, warm hand. He gently tugged behind her ear to coax her closer, and dipped his head to brush his lips over hers, pausing an instant to press a brief kiss to her mouth before he brought his eyes purposefully back to hers. "I want your face to be the first thing I see when I open my eyes."
It was more than a single wish. In the wordless impulses that came screaming out of the broken eyes, Aldor understood what the result of today's trial had been. Din heard the call of the Eye, and he could no longer ignore it. His time here was much more than an extended layover now. He was almost sure he could call the Eye his home. At the very least, the seed had germinated in his brain, and now hovered at a vital stage of incubation that would determine whether it would sprout or atrophy.
He kissed her again. A warm, placating press of his mouth against hers that asked her again to be patient, then he stood to take his dish to the sink and wash it, vowing to find her a sanitizer somehow to make up for the burden he and his son must have brought on her.
"On the contrary, my Love, you and Grogu rather lighten my burdens."
"As you do ours, my Lady," Din murmured, laying the plate aside to dry while Aldor continued to struggle with her sad little circuits, too touched to look directly at him.
In her periphery, she saw him turn and lean against the counter, hooking his thumbs over his belt as he watched her. "What are you working on?" he asked at last.
"I want to convert the boosters from the smaller escape pods into grow lights," she explained. "An old Weequay trader I know came through here a year or so ago and gave me some meiloorun seeds." She laughed at herself. "I've been trying to decide for years whether I like frost melon or meiloorun better, and finally realized I needed to remind myself what meiloorun tastes like before I make up my mind." She peered up at Din's ghost of a smile and felt herself blush. "I get… fixated… on little nothings. I accept it because it'll keep me busy at the very least."
Din released a single, beautifully open laugh. One Aldor hadn't heard before that burst through his chest with twice the energy of his typical whispered chuckle. "A mind on its own can be… eccentric."
Aldor laughed outright. "So diplomatic of you, my Love."
"I'm… eccentric too," he said. "But I'll never admit that either of us is crazy."
Aldor laughed again, feeling how much Din enjoyed the sound of it as he looked down at his bare feet to hide a deep smile. But she'd seen it. It was enough. He came back to sit beside her and looked down at the board she'd patched together with spare parts. "Is that… a climate control board?" he asked.
"I hope it'll be. Meilooruns need a warmer, drier climate than we have here."
"And you're converting this from a pod booster?"
"Well, all you really need to build any machine is a housing, the right components, and the right circuitry. It's all a matter of fitting shapes and numbers together with energy. But you know that."
"I do. Most don't."
"You're too kind, my Love. Because I'm afraid my circuitry is not always elegant."
"Mine is." He extended his hand halfway toward the board. "May I?" he asked.
"It's a tedious job, Din, and I'd hate to impose it on you… I've made a mess out of it…"
"Please, Aldor." His tone brought her eyes back to his. His expression reminded her of one of Grogu's. The one his sweet little face lifted into when she paid him a compliment and he wanted to show her how much he appreciated it. A little boy who wanted to reciprocate. It was the core of both their sweet spirits. "I can help. I… want to." He cleared his throat. "I know you're capable of anything. But… I'm here now… and maybe you won't have to be."
Aldor could only drink him in as she handed over the board. So beautiful in his earnest need to be of use. So beautiful in so many ways. From the gentle peaks of his lips under his mustache, to the soft waves of his dark hair, to the magnificent resilience of his heart, he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. She kissed his forehead, and he shuddered under it, pausing in his inspection of the board to meet her eyes. "Thank you, my Love," she whispered, smoothing her fingertips over his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed and his forehead dropped gently to hers as he practically trembled under her caress. He loved her touch on his face. She only just remembered she'd never touched him this way before. Nobody had. Because he loved it so much, she drew her thumb down the bridge of his nose and across his lips, and his thoughts became soft and fluid. He turned his face into her hand, in sheer ecstasy as he pressed a kiss to her palm.
So good. Nothing ever felt so good… don't stop… please don't… want to feel this… need it… don't stop, my Lady… don't stop…
"Your pleasure is mine, my Love," she whispered, bending closer to press a kiss to the beautiful dip under his jaw, where she'd longed to kiss him since he sat down. He melted where he sat, unabashed and grateful to be under her control as she rubbed her lips into the soft stubble. A sigh vibrated though his throat as his hand came up to hold the back of her head, begging her to stay there as she pressed kisses to his neck and suckled his earlobe.
Pleasure. That's what this is… pleasure… can't fight anymore… don't want to… want this… need this… need you… can't leave… can't ever… no excuse… no reason… no need… can't… just can't…
Because he'd given so much of himself, and because she was also a child who wanted to reciprocate, Aldor let her lips drag lightly over his jaw and across his cheek to shape her mouth to his, pressing and easing his lips open to lick into the spicy flavor she loved. A deep, rolling murmur rumbled through his throat. She took it into herself and let it shake her, body and soul. Let it ripple out to the edges of the system to stretch and cool, then brought it back along the bonds of the Force between them to give it back to him on a soft breeze. A completed circuit far more elegant than any on the forgotten board.