Saturday rolled around way to quickly for Stan's liking. He was very nervous for two reasons.

One: he had a very important chemistry test coming up that would determine wether or not he passed the class or not.

And two: He was planning on telling Kyle how he really felt.

He awoke a nervous wreck that morning. Kyle was already up, making breakfast as usual.

Stan got up and hopped in the shower. He washed his entire body, taking his time and making sure he was the cleanest he's ever been. After drying off, he took Shelley's hairdryer that he stole and attempted to blow dry his hair. It eventually did get dry but stuck out unruly just like Tweek's. He brushed it down until it looked somewhat presentable.

He dressed himself in his everyday clothes. He didn't want to be too dressy or Kyle might get suspicious.

He walked downstairs and saw the gorgeous redhead at the stove.

"Hey! I made biscuits!" Kyle said and held up the tray full of the fluffy bread.

"Sweet, I'm starving." Stan said, trying to be as calm as he could.

"Gosh how on earth am I going to last the entire day when I can't even have breakfast with him without getting nervous? I'm screwed." He though.

Kyle looked through the fridge for the blood packets he hid. He pulled one out and began to drink the liquid.

Stan had slightly gotten used to the sight by now, and coped by imagining that Kyle was drinking wine instead of blood.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Kyle asked.

"Well, I was just thinking we could hang out here for today. Maybe grab some Subway for dinner, but afterwards I want to take you somewhere." Stan said.

"Oh really? Where?" Kyle asked.

"Somewhere special to me. You'll see." Stan said.

"Ooo, I'm intrigued." Kyle said. "But I can wait. How about in the meantime, we study for your chemistry test? I ran over to my house last night as got my chemistry notes from last year."

Stan groaned. "Can we play video games first? I want to do something fun with you."

Kyle sighed. "Alright, but afterwards we have to study. I want you to pass."

"Trust me, I want to pass too."

The two made their way downstairs into the basement. Stan turned on the TV and gaming system while Kyle flopped down onto the old couch.

"Hmm... oh! What about Guitar Hero?" Stan asked, rummaging around the cabinet they held their games in for the guitar-shaped controller.

"Oh, I've never been any good at games like that. I'll watch you." Kyle said and continued to sip from his blood pouch.

Stan plugged in the controller and booted up the game. "Gosh, I played this game all the time as a kid. It led me to want to play actual guitar a couple years ago when I was older."

"You play guitar?" Kyle asked.

"Not anymore. Gosh, me and Kenny had dreams of starting band in middle school. He was a beast on drums. We were actually going to get more members, but then I lost interest." Stan explained.

"Lost interest?" Kyle repeated.

"My depression hit really bad and I just had no will to play anymore. Kenny understood. I think my old guitar is in the garage or in the attic." Stan explained.

"I'm sorry." Kyle said.

"Don't worry, it's not your fault. It's all in the past now." Stan said and chose a level for the game.

"Heavy metal? You're so predictable." Kyle joked.

"You just wait till you see how good I am at this level." Stan bragged.

Stan played the first few notes perfectly. Kyle smiled and watched him as he slowly got more into the game.

That's when he missed a note.

"Shit!" Stan yelled.

The sudden words made Kyle wheeze, causing Stan to mess up even more.

The more Stan messed up, the more he cursed, and the louder Kyle became as he laughed. By the end of the song, Stan was cursing up a storm and Kyle was hysterically laughing and recording the scene on his phone.

Stan picked up the controller and yelled in frustration. He turned around and saw Kyle recording just as he was about to smash the controller against the couch in rage.

"Uh... how much did you get on video?" He asked. Kyle put his phone down.

"Just the end of it." Kyle said and wiped away a tear from laughing so hard.

"That's the worst part!" Stan said and was now smiling.

"That's the whole point, dork." Kyle said.

Stan crashed onto the couch beside Kyle.

"Yeah, you were totally amazing at this level. The best I've ever seen!" Kyle sarcastically joked.

"Just forget that ever happened." Stan signed.

"Never. That was amazing." Kyle laughed a little more. "Now that that whole ordeal is over, do you have Minecraft?"

"I should. You want to play?" Stan asked, getting up from the couch and got the game and two normal controllers.

"Yeah. Me and Ike usually play Minecraft on Saturdays, so this is a part of my routine for me." Kyle said, taking the controller.

Stan booted up the nostalgic game from his childhood. He sat on the floor with his back pressed against the couch. He felt Kyle slide down beside him.

"Want to see a world I made with Kenny?" Stan asked as he scrolled through the worlds he hadn't touched in years.

"Oh gosh, do I want to?" Kyle said, expecting the worst.

"Yeah, you need to." Stan said and booted up the world for them. The TV was split-screen now, showing both of their player's perspectives.

"Oh, this isn't bad." Kyle said.

They spawned into a medieval-type village made from scratch. It was pretty well decorated and looked aesthetically pleasing.

"Yeah, this is our town. We called it 'Swag City.' Please don't make fun of us, we were like fourteen when we made this." Stan said. Kyle laughed at the name.

"No, it's exactly what I'd expect from two fourteen year olds. Its actually very nice." He said.

The two split off, with Kyle wandering around every nook and cranny of the village and Stan fixings small mistakes he noticed throughout the village, reminiscing the memories of him and Kenny sitting in this basement as children.

"Uh, Stan? What is this?" Kyle said. Stan took a break from watching his screen to look at Kyle's. He was staring at a statue he definitely remembered building.

"Oh, um..." Stan laughed. "It's the town's statue."

"Stan. It's a penis." Kyle said and Stan laughed harder.

"Take a closer look. We made it out of stone so it's technically a rock-hard di-"

"Stan do not finish that sentence." Kyle said. Kyle began to laugh again. "You are not allowed to play Minecraft with Ike. You'll give him too many ideas."

"Just wait till you see our handmade mountain. Kenny carved tits into the side of it. We called it 'Mammary Mountain.'" Stan said as he laughed.

"You guys are nuts." Kyle said and put down his controller. "I think I've had enough of you and Kenny's weird sexual fantasy world." He sounded judgmental, but he was smiling humorously.

"Alright, I'll wait till Kenny come over again and let him see. I can't even imagine all that we built on this world that I forgot about." Stan said.

They turned off the gaming system and went back upstairs.

"Ready to study?" Kyle asked.

Stan groaned again. "I guess so."

(Warning: Mention of Rape)

Stan's heart was thumping against his chest.

It was ten o'clock at night. He and Kyle just got Subway and were making their way out of town.

This was it.

"So you get it now? Do you think you can balance the formula without my help?" Kyle asked, talking about their chemistry study session from earlier.

"Yeah. I'll probably need a bit more help, but for the most part I understand." Stan said as calmly as he could.

Stan picked up his sandwich and took a bite to distract himself from the future.

Either he'd leave tonight a lucky man or a loser with one less friend.

The highway was empty. Stan turned on his high beams and sped down the deserted road. Nights like these were his favorites. It was just him, his truck, and no one to stop him from going ninety mph. Kyle was definitely an excellent addition to the lineup of what Stan considered a perfect night.

"So where are we going?" Kyle asked as he ate his sandwich as well.

"It's my favorite place in the mountains. It's an abandoned parking lot with an excellent view. I think it used to be connected to a hike trail. I go there a lot to clear my mind on bad days." Stan explained.

"Sounds magical." Kyle said.

Every mile, every minute, every second felt like a timer slowly going down to Stan. He was amazed of how well he was keeping himself together. He never realized just how much Kyle made him a nervous wreck.

Stan turned off the highway to an empty road.

"Oh? I've been in these woods before. Me, Tweek, and Marj go hunting here." Kyle explained.

"Hunting? You guys hunt?" Stan asked.

"It's not the type of hunting you're thinking of. We use our speed and strength to chase deer down."

"With your bare hands?"

"Yep. It's a lot easier when you have claws, though." Kyle said and held up his hands to admire his sharp nails.

"That's super cool." Stan said. They began to slowly ascend the mountain. Stan's stomach turned in knots.

They were silent until they saw the man made, flat parking lot. It was completely empty besides a few squirrels that ran away up a tree when they saw the headlights.

"Oh wow, it is abandoned." Kyle said.

"Just wait." Stan said. He pulled into a parking lot near the edge of the lot, which descended sharply down. The only thing between them and the drop was a sturdy metal guardrail.

Stan turned off the headlights, so nothing but the moonlight illuminated the night.

Kyle gasped. "Oh wow..." he whispered.

You could see everything from up in that parking lot. The rolling, lush, green mountain sides, Stark's Pond (which was now a little blue speck), the lights illuminating from South Park, and the moon placed perfectly in the sky.

Stan could imagine Kyle could see all of it better than he could with his night vision.

"Oh Stan, this is gorgeous." Kyle swooned, taking in the sights. "I bet the sunrises from here are amazing."

"They are. I've spent lots of nights up here. No one knows about it except me, Kenny, and a couple of other kids from school. And now, you of course." Stan said.

Kyle could say nothing more, he just smiled happily.

The two finished eating quickly.

Kyle propped his knees up against the console and leaned his chair back. After a few minutes of silence, he sighed.

"Hey Stan?" He asked.

"Hmm?"

"Can I tell you something?" He asked.

Stan's heart raced again. "Of course."

Kyle looked over at him. "Stan, listen to me. What I'm about to tell you absolutely cannot leave this truck, do you understand? Do not talk about this to anyone unless I give you permission, okay?"

Kyle's stern voice threw Stan off. Stan nodded his head. "I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die."

Kyle sighed and closed his eyes.

"Did you really think I was running away from those vampires just because I'm different than them?" He asked.

"...Yes I assumed so." Stan responded.

"Well, I wasn't." Kyle took shaky breaths, like he was trying to compose himself. "I should just start from the beginning."

"I was fourteen, just about to turn fifteen when this happened. I was all by myself in the national forest, which was my first mistake. I was hungry, and I was naive.

I had been chasing a doe for miles. My abilities weren't that advanced at that age, so I was struggling to keep up. Just.. just when I was about to catch it, something faster than light dove in front of me and snatched the deer right out from under me. I was pissed. I turned on my heels and quickly ran after who stole my hard-earned meal. About twenty feet away, I found my deer, and to my demise, a full blooded vampire standing over it.

I was instantly frightened. My parents always told me to stay away from vampires ever since I was little. He looked like a typical vampire. He had jet-black hair, blood red eyes, pasty skin, and fangs that sent shivers down my spine when I saw them. He turned around to look at me. I thought he was going to kill me. But, instead, he smiled.

"This belong to you?" He asked.

"Y-Yes, it does." I responded shakily.

He chuckled and stepped closer. I thought I was going to die.

"You don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you. It just looked like you need some help." He said.

"I had everything under control, thank you very much." I snapped back. I wasn't about to be pushed around by him. "But thank you anyway."

I bent down to drink the deer's blood. After I finished feeding, I looked up, and he was still there, watching me contently.

"Why are you still here?" I asked, standing up.

"I'm just observing you. I don't get to see many half vampires roaming around by themselves." He said.

I gave him a half smile.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"I'm Kyle."

"Well, Kyle, it's nice to meet you. I'm Mike, but everyone calls me Vampir."

I should mention that he stood well over two feet taller than me. I wasn't always this tall. At that point in time, I was just a skinny, little boy all alone, being watched by a vampire twice my size.

And I was terrified.

"Hello..." I said timidly. "Well, thanks for helping me with my deer. I better get home, the sun will be up soon." I said, trying to scoot away.

"Oh, you aren't resistant to the sun? What a shame. I know your pain." He sighed. "Well, you might as well go ahead and go home to your parents. I bet they're worried sick."

He turned and gave me one more smile before turning into a swarm of bats, flying away into the night.

I flew out of there too, literally, like a bat out of hell. I went straight to my bedroom and under my covers. My dad came in the check in me later.

"Kyle? Are you home?" He asked.

I poked my head out from underneath the blanket. "I am. Don't worry, I fed."

"Alright. Tell me or your mother next time you come in. Goodnight." He said and closed my door.

I didn't tell my parents about what happened. I was scared that they'll ban me from feeding by myself. And, to be honest, I wanted to see him again. He was intriguing.

The next night, I went back to the same spot. Low and behold, Mike was there again, almost as if he was waiting for me. We hung out the entire night while feeding on small animals we could get our claws on. I was amazed by his speed, his strength, all his wonderful abilities I didn't have.

About halfway through the night, another vampire emerged from the forest, scaring me.

"Lord Vampir, we need your assistance." The vampire said.

"Not now, can't you see I'm busy?" He said, a bit annoyed.

That's when I realized just how much danger I was in. I wasn't talking and hanging out with a random vampire thrall or assistant... I was mingling with a fucking vampire lord. The highest rank in the hierarchy of vampires. They are the ones who rule over vampire covens.

He and the vampire exchanged some words before he eventually sighed.

"I have to go. Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"Oh, um... sure." I stupidly said.

Night after night, I went to that spot and we hunted together, and became really close. After about a month of sneaking off, I realized something horrible-- I was in love with him.

My parents and friends became suspicious of me. I never wanted to hunt with them anymore. I never wanted to hang out or do anything. Any chance I got, I ran out to those woods to be with him.

One night, after he showed me how to take down a bear, he sat me down in a tree and kissed me. He told me that he was in love with me. I told him that I returned his feelings, and that's how I lost my virginity in a tree.

I was scared to date him. I was worried since vampires and half vampires are frowned upon together, and I knew my parents would kill me if they found out. He eventually convinced me to have a secret relationship, and it was actually very nice and exciting.

One night, after about a month of dating, Tweek and Marj followed me out there and found me and Mike making out. They were reasonably startled, but I begged them not to tell anyone.

Later that week, they sat me down while my parents were out.

"Kyle, do you even know what you're doing? He's a vampire! He'll turn you the second you give him permission!" Tweek exclaimed.

The thing is, half vampires can only be turned into real vampires if they give them their consent. If vampires could just run around biting any half vampire, our race would be extinct in a matter of months.

The thing was before I started to date him, I made sure he wanted me for who I was, not what I could be. I didn't want to be a vampire. He understood and respected my wishes.

I explained this to my friends, and they were upset but understood I was in love and they weren't about to ruin that.

The night I knew something wasn't right was the night Mike took me to a party. A vampire rave, specifically. We had been dating for about three months, and I had already met his large coven of vampire servants. They were skeptical of me at first but eventually warmed up to me, and I did the same to them.

I had always been a goody-two-shoes my whole life, and being there just felt wrong. Mike could sense my discomfort, and gave me some blood to drink.

I should have known better. After a few minutes, I was feeling dizzy. I told him this, and he just said I was probably dehydrated and gave me more and more. By the end of that, I wasn't blackout drunk, but I certainly was wasted.

I don't remember much from that night. What I did, was the only thing I want permanently erased from my mind forever.

He stripped me down and fucked, no, raped me in front of everyone at that party. After he was finished, he let anyone who wanted a turn with me have one. Boys and girls alike. He held me against him, his cold skin against mine, and forced me open for the gangbang that ensured. I was too drunk and delirious to do anything. I passed out at least four times. The fifth time I didn't wake up until they were finished.

You couldn't believe the shock on my parent's faces when I stumbled into my house at four a.m, drunk, poorly-dressed, and looking like I just went through a tornado. My neck was covered in bite marks and hickeys.

I was too drunk to comprehend anything they said, so they let me sleep in the bathtub that night.

After I finally became sober, I was sick; the sickest I had ever been in my life. The headache was awful, and I couldn't stop throwing up.

But my dad didn't wait until I was better to question me. He was furious. To this day I've never seen him that mad before. He yelled so loud the neighbors called the police.

"Where in the hell have you been?! Kyle Broflovski what have you done?! Are these... are these vampire bites?!" He backed away from me. "I should have known. You haven't been yourself for months! You've been waltzing around letting yourself be used by a bunch of fucking vampires?!"

"Dad, I swear! I didn't know they would do this to me! I thought I could trust him." I blurted out in my hungover state.

Mom and Dad made Ike leave the house for what happened next.

They sat me down in the living room and questioned the living hell out of me.

"Kyle, you've been in a secret relationship with a vampire lord?! For three months?!" My mom screamed.

All I could do was nod. I was too drained to fight, and I couldn't even cry I was so tired.

"I thought we taught you better. Kyle, you knew better. Yet, you still went out there every night.. every damn night..." my Dad said.

The yelling lasted for about a day. Ike spent the night at Marj's house. It was safe to say I was grounded. For a loooong time.

Any reasonable person would have stopped going out. Not me. Every night, I somehow managed to sneak off for an hour, and I spent those precious moments with Mike, telling him about what happened and how mad I was at my parents. At that point, he had become like a drug to me. I needed him.

This behavior went on for another two months. Tweek and Marj came over a lot, but I think my parents set that up for them to watch me when they couldn't. They were upset for me, but they were also reasonably upset at me.

One night, which I could easily say was the worst night of my entire life, happened just as we hit our five month anniversary. I had snuck out again, and met Mike about a mile from my house. He was happy to see me, like he always was. Except, this time was different. We kissed, he asked me how I was doing, but he stopped quickly.

"Kyle, I have a way we can end this whole fight once and for all, per say. You'll never have to worry about your parents getting in the way ever again. In fact, no one will ever try to separate us ever again." Mike said.

I was desperate. "What is it? I'll do anything!" I begged.

"Kyle," he leaned in and kissed my ear. "You need to let me turn you into a full blooded vampire."

I was shocked. I pushed him off of me.

"I thought you said you'd never do that. I told you, I don't want to." I said, becoming visibly hurt.

"It's the only way. Also, me and my coven have been talking. We all agree that you should give up your human half if you want to join us, and to continue being my boyfriend."

Those words hurt me more than anything my father could yell at me.

"What! Mike... after all we've been through? After all I've done, after all I've sacrificed, my time, my relationships with my family, my friends... you're just going to give that up because I won't become like you?" I asked, taking his head into my hands.

I finally began crying.

He shoved my hands away. "What's your answer?"

"No. I won't do it." I said.

"Fine, then. Goodbye, Kyle." He said without a care in the world. He was so heartless.

"Please, please, Mike! Don't do this! I love you, please don't leave me!" I called, begged for him to at least say he loved me back.

He left, turning into a swarm of bats and flying off into the night.

I went back home and cried the most I had ever in my entire life. I cried for the rest of that night, the entire day, and for a few hours into the next night before my mom came to check on me.

A month by, and I was still a wreck. My parents had let up a bit, realizing I was genuinely destroyed physically and mentally by the experience, but still kept me under watchful eyes.

Every once in a while, I would wake up and I would be sore all over my body. I was extremely confused, especially since all I did was lay in bed all day.

Every once in a while turned into every few days. Every few days turned into almost every day. Almost every day turned into every single day of me waking so sore I couldn't move.

Mom took me to the doctor all the way in Denver, since we don't have a half vampire doctor here in South Park. They checked me out, and I was completely fine. They tested me for any diseases I might have been given during the rave, and it was miracle I came back clean. I was perfectly healthy.

My dad came home from work early one day to check on me. Me and Ike were alseep, and Mom was out in the town eating with friends.

As he went upstairs, he heard something that sounded like faint creaking.

He slowly crept up to my room, and peered inside my room. Clear as day, he could see none other than Mike on top of me, once again raping me, except this time while I slept.

My dad threw open the door, causing Mike to jump off of me and hiss. Dad used all his strength to push him against the wall, but even the strongest half vampire is no match for a vampire lord. Mike pushed Dad off of him with ease and sent him flying into my desk, breaking it. Ike ran in and screamed, immediately running out to call for Mom. Mike was about to go after him until Dad grabbed him again and threw him down on the floor.

They exchanged a short fist fight until Mike turned into a his swarm of bats again, and flew outside through the window into broad daylight back into the forest.

Dad ran to me, trying to see if I was awake. I wasn't. When he tried to shake me awake, but I wouldn't budge a bit. He opened my eyes, and saw they were rolled back into my head.

That motherfucker was coming into my room and hypnotizing me so I wouldn't wake up while he once again used me for pleasure.

Mom came home really quickly, and ran upstairs to see what was going on. Dad couldn't wake me up if his life depended on it. He shook me, slapped me, and even tried to use his own hypnosis to wake me up. I was out cold.

The only way they were able to wake me up was to fill the bathtub with ice-cold water and dunk me in.

That was the worst wake up call in my life. I woke up dazed and confused as to why I was in my bathtub half naked and freezing with my parents standing over me as Ike cried in the doorway.

I thought this was some kind of cruel punishment until Mom bent down to hug me. They let me change and get warm before they told me what had happened. I was absolutely pissed.

That night, I told my parents I didn't care what they thought. I was marching out there and confronting Mike about his sick and twisted intentions. My parents actually encouraged me and told me to find a way to end this once and for all.

I found Mike in our old spot. It was like he knew I was coming. I screamed at him, asking him why on earth he would do such a thing to me. The asshole didn't respond once; he just stared at me with empty eyes.

I told him to leave me alone for the rest of his miserable life, and that's when he smirked. He said he'd leave me alone if I would attend one last rave that night.

Seeing no other way, I did.

Except this time, they didn't wait till I was drunk. They forced me down sober and fucked me up.

It was the same story as before. I came home looking like I was attacked by a bear as I sobbed uncontrollably. My parents were shocked again, except this time they were more concerned than angry.

They cleaned me up and didn't say a word. That morning, as a fifteen year old boy, I slept in my parents bed with them as I continued to cry the entire day.

After I explained to them the next day that it was the only way he'd leave me alone forever, they ungrounded me and let me sleep in the guest room while they fixed up my room from the fight Dad and Mike had.

Tweek and Marj came over again, and we all did nothing except have a sob fest laying down in that bed. I was just glad they didn't leave me after what I had done, how I had betrayed and lied to everyone I knew over a boy.

I haven't been bothered by any vampires until last week.

So that, Stan, is why I don't like to talk about my past relationship, and why I ultimately hate vampires."