Chapter 13: Sneaky

After Charms on Thursday, Emmeline and I plan to head outside to study. We'd moved onto the Protective Charms unit in class today and Emmeline was having a spot of trouble, so I offered to give her a few pointers since we both had a free period next.

As we're packing up to go, Emmeline asks Alice if she wants to join us.

"Oh, umm, no. I have... erm... well, Professor Sprout's expecting me in the greenhouses, so I suppose I will just see you at dinner." She whisks out the door without looking at me once.

"You guys still haven't made up?" Marlene asks, coming up, bag slung loosely over her shoulder.

"I don't know what you mean," I say lamely. Alice and I have been perfectly civil to each other since Tuesday night, speaking politely when required and sitting on either side of Emmeline and Marlene at meals.

"C'mon, Lils," Marlene says. "We're not stupid. You and Alice can barely stand to look at each other."

"Yes, that, and Alice told us the two of you had a bit of a row the other night." Emmeline says as we head out into the hallway.

"And I suppose you two agree with Alice, right? Snape deserved it and Potter was justified?" I say grumpily.

Emmeline bites her lip but Marlene just shrugs. "James was an idiot. Snape's an idiot," she says. "The way I see it, they kind of balanced each other out."

Emmeline laughs but I just walk along in disgruntled silence. Marlene rolls her eyes. "Calm down, Lily. The point is, we're not taking sides. And you shouldn't be so mad at everyone. We're all friends here."

"Hmph," I say, although it would be nice to not be so mad at everybody, if only because it would make my classes less uncomfortable. Alice and I have nearly every class together, and while we've continued to sit by each other out of habit, we avoid each other's eyes and only speak if we have to. And Potions yesterday…! Potter was supposed to have been my buffer from Severus, and now I wasn't talking to him either! I deliberated in the dungeon doorway about where to sit for a very long time. In the end, I'd deemed Potter the lesser of two evils – barely – and plunked down into a seat at his table again. But I'd crushed his momentary look of hopefulness when he opened his mouth to greet me by snapping, "Don't talk to me." His mouth snapped shut and we spent the next two hours in absolute silence while I tried to pretend not to notice Severus's devastated expression.

"Well, I'll take sides, and I think what James did was fantastic," someone says from behind us.

I turn to scowl at Carol as we all walk onto the grounds through the front door. "No one asked you."

She shrugs. "Just thought you could use another opinion. Maybe your poor muggle-born addled brain couldn't tell, but James's charm was very impressive. Doubt you could pull off something like that."

"Just because I don't go around hexing people doesn't mean I can't," I say. "And you're giving me quite the strong desire to try. Better leave before I show you how much better than Potter I could do."

"Whatever, Lily," Carol says, but she does break away from us, heading for a group of other seventh year girls chattering together near the lake.

"Would you really hex her, Lily?" Marlene says, her eyes sparkling. "Because if you really are going to, please please please make sure I'm there to see it."

"One of these days, I really might," I say. "Right around the same time I'm ready to turn my Head Badge back in to Dumbledore."

Emmeline gives Marlene a side-long look. "Are you joining us for Charms practice, Marlene?"

"Oh no," she says. "I'm meeting Enola on the pitch. We have some Chaser formations we wanted to try out before practice tonight, see if it's anything useful for the match next week."

"Have fun, then," Em says as Marlene peels away from us and we continue down to find a place to study by the lake. We end up in the shade of a beech tree a few paces from the water, on the side of the lake closest to the Forbidden Forest. I'm glad we've chosen to come outside; it's late September, and days that are warm enough to enjoy outside will disappear soon enough. But today is perfect, with puffy white clouds in a soft blue sky, a light breeze rustling lazily through the tree boughs overhead. It's just perfect enough that I manage to shake my irritation and settle into a rousing Charms discussion with Emmeline, happily demonstrating all the different swishes and flicks that tweak the effectiveness of a good Imperturbable Charm.

That is, until I see a familiar group of students skirting around the edges of the Forbidden Forest, coming toward us and acting very much like they don't want to be noticed. Rosier, Lestrange, Mulciber, Black, and Severus. My guilt tickles in my chest when I see Sev. I never did anything about his note, though I flip it open to read every time it falls out of my Charms textbook.

But now he's with this questionable group of Slytherins, the same ones from the library last week, and I feel justified in my reluctance to mend our relationship with him. I really was skeptical that they were actually up to something Dark then, but now... I mean, where could they possibly be going? And there's no mistaking the way they all keep glancing furtively across the grounds and toward the castle...

"Like this, Lily?" Emmeline asks.

"Huh?" I ask, blinking and looking round at her; she's got her wand stretched out in front of her and is executing a rather amateur wand movement, but she lowers it when I look at her.

"Have you even been watching? I need feedback –"

But I'm distracted all over again by the Slytherins as I watch Lestrange take something from his bag. It looks like they pass it around the circle, but they're too far away and standing too close together in the trees to be sure.

I make the decision in a split second and jump to my feet. Emmeline gives me a startled look.

"C'mon, Em," I say, pulling her up and towards the tree line.

"Where are we going?" she asks.

"To see what Severus and his Slytherins are up to," I say grimly, nodding over at them. "Hurry up, they'll see us in a moment if we don't hide quick."

"Oh," Emmeline says, wringing her hands and casting a glance back at the beech tree our bags are still propped against. "I really don't want to get involved... and the Forest is off-limits!"

"Em! Just come on! Remember, Dumbledore asked me to do this?" I look anxiously back where Severus and his mates are. They'll spot Em and me any minute if we don't hurry.

"Oh, alright, fine!" she says. She gives the tree one last longing look before taking off after me into the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest.

We just manage to tuck ourselves behind the truck of a massive pine tree when the Slytherins come by. I hold my breath, hoping to hear something interesting from them while simultaneously hoping they don't hear even a rustle of a noise from us. Emmeline looks at me, eyes stretched wide and fearful.

We wait. There's some kind of insect buzzing near my head, and I resist the urge to swat at it. But I hear no voices, no conversation, no juicy Slytherin secrets. I'm confused. They should have passed us by now. They must have stopped again. Maybe they're close enough that if I risked it, I could see whatever it is they're hiding. I move to peer around the tree. Emma tugs on my sleeve, panicked.

"No, Lily, they'll see you!" she whispers, but I ignore her and peek out.

I'm shocked to see that the Slytherins have passed us completely. Their backs are to us and I watch Severus mutter something to Regulus Black as they walk away. Rosier turns like he's saying something to the whole group.

How did they get past us without us hearing anything? That bloody insect couldn't have been so loud that it blocked out an entire... conversation...

Oh. Merlin.

The buzzing. Not hearing anything when I was trying to eavesdrop.

It was Severus' stupid spell. Muffliato.

I groan.

Emmeline flinches, shushing me, but I say, "It's okay, they've already gone, they used this spell so no one could listen in on them. But if we hurry, we can catch up and see what they're up to."

I move to take off again, but Emmeline grabs me.

"Absolutely not, Lily!"

I turn to look at her in surprise. She folds her arms.

"I'm not tromping all over the Forbidden Forest – which we are not even supposed to be in – after a bunch of Slytherins who definitely don't like you, especially if they are up to something Dark." I've rarely seen Emmeline so forceful.

"But I'm supposed to -" I protest.

"I don't care," she says resolutely. "I'musing my free period the way I'm supposed to – studying Charms. Leave them alone."

"But -" I say again, glancing back up through the trees. Severus and the rest are nearly out of sight now.

"And I need your help, Lily. You promised." Emmeline frowns at me.

"I -" One more look, but they are gone now. I sigh. "Fine. You're right. Let's go practice Charms."

Emmeline looks immensely relieved and I let her lead me back to our spot by the lake. It's clear she is more than happy to push the whole event out of her mind and focus on Protective Charms again, but even while I'm correcting her form and showing her how to cast an Imperturbable Charm that will keep the bees from bothering us, my mind is busy wondering about the group of Slytherins. I'm dying to discuss and analyze with somebody what I'd seen, make some kind of sense about their odd behavior, get some theories about where they were going, but I don't dare try and pursue it any further with Em. Marlene wouldn't take it seriously, and I definitely can't talk to Alice about this kind of thing right now.

And in any case, the girls are not who I want to talk to, anyway.

Because I do know who I want to talk to.

Potter.

Prat that he is, mad at him as I am, I wish I could talk to him. I know he'd understand. I know we'd be thinking along the same lines, both suspicious of all the sneaking around. Besides, he is my co-Head, the other person in charge of watching for these exact kinds of situations.

But I can't. Talk to him yet, I mean. All I have to do is think back to breakfast Tuesday morning and I get that hot ball of anger burning in my chest all over again. I hate that he told me he'd leave the whole matter alone and then turned right around to humiliate Severus when I explicitly asked him not to. I hate that he lied. And I hate that Tuesday was a glimpse back at Potter how he used to be, the Potter I despise, not the one I thought I was getting to know this year. I'm pretty sure if I tried to talk to him still, I'd just end up yelling at him again instead of having a logical conversation because in addition to being mad, I feel betrayed.

So no talking with Potter, then. I guess I'll just have to puzzle this out myself.

/

"Thanks again for helping out with rounds tonight. I was really starting to think I'd have to threaten someone to sign up."

"It's not problem, Lily," Remus says. "Part of the job, right?"

It's after ten on Friday night and I'm on rounds with Remus. When we'd sent around sign-ups, I, the thoughtful, kind Head Girl I am, had graciously taken one of the ever-unpopular Friday night slots. The second slot stayed empty long enough I started to worry I'd have to force someone into doing rounds with me, so I was relieved when Remus finally filled it a couple days ago.

And surprised. I would think Friday night would be prime marauding time, but I suppose Remus does take his prefect duties seriously enough to step up and help a witch out, even at the expense of ditching his mates for a night.

One of whom I have avoided at every turn since Tuesday morning and refused to speak a single unnecessary word to (even if I've kind of wanted to). Potter, for his part, has been surprisingly respectful of my anger at him and not tried to talk to me since our letters Tuesday night when I didn't show up for tutoring, although I have caught him glancing my way often, looking generally distressed and worried. Not that I'm looking his way. Much. Obviously.

Actually, Potter was part of why I was worried about rounds tonight. Technically, if no one signs up, the Head Boy and Girl are expected to do rounds. If it came to that, I think I'd have to fake an illness or something. Merlin knows I wouldn't be caught doing rounds with Potter right now. I don't know if I'm ready for a rational conversation yet.

"Sadly, not everyone appreciates the job," I say, still thinking irritated thoughts about Potter. I snap the door to one of Filch's custodial closets too sharply.

Remus smiles, and I hear more than see it in the dark of the corridor. "Don't go too hard on James. His heart is in the right place."

"Now, now, Remus. Don't make me frustrated at you, too," I say.

He laughs, and I have to laugh as well. I can't imagine anyone being frustrated with Remus. He's much too mellow and reasonable for that. Truthfully, he's been a great person to be prefect with the last few years. He would have made for such a less complicated Head Boy...

"I'm glad you're here," I say. "Glad you were up for it."

He pauses in the middle of opening a classroom door. "What do you mean?"

I wrinkle my nose; the comment had slipped out without much thought behind it, and now I'm worried I'm about to sound rude. "Oh, nothing," I say, embarrassed. "Just that... well, you're sick a lot, and I'm glad it seems like you've been healthy so far this year."

He stares into the classroom for a beat longer than necessary.

"Sorry," I say quickly. "I shouldn't have said anything, sorry."

He closes the door and turns around, and I relax when I see his mild smile. "It's fine." He shrugs. "You're not wrong – I just do my best to work around it, and I'm glad it hasn't affected my ability to do my prefect duties."

"Not at all," I hurry to reassure him. He looks relieved.

We continue strolling the castle, making small talk. It's getting late and the castle is very quiet.

"Wait, Lily, over here. I thought I heard someone." Remus presses his ear to a thick wooden door and beckons me over.

I push past Remus and open the door, which leads to the Trophy Room. With all its cases and pedestals and nooks, and the moonlight falling in thick slices of silver through the darkness, it would make the perfect place to try and hide out in. Except the person inside is not trying to hide at all. He's standing right in the middle of the room, very clearly waiting for us.

"Thanks, Moony," Potter says.

I whip around, giving Remus a betrayed look.

"Sorry, Lily," Remus says, backing out the door. "See you later, you two. Play nice." And with a little wave, he's gone.

"I can't believe you coerced Remus into this," I growl. Although, on second thought, I totally can!. Remus is my friend but, as he has explicitly told me, he is Potter's friend first. Psh. So much for me thinking he was chivalrously fulfilling his prefect duties when he signed up for rounds the other night! Still, even though he's one of the Marauders, I'm shocked that he can be so sneaky.

Potter scoffs. "Come off it. I barely had to ask Remus to help. They all think our whole feud is stupid."

"More like they can't take your sulking," I mutter. I'd known what all Pettigrew's reproachful looks this week had been about.

Potter frowns.

I heave a sigh. "Well, whatever scheme you're up to, it's not going to work. We have a job to do, and since Remus ditched, it's on you to fulfill it. Let's go make the rounds."

"It's not a scheme," Potter says as he follows me out the door back into the dark corridor. "I just wanted to talk to you."

I walk slightly ahead of him so that I don't have to look at his stupid face. "Well, I thought I made it clear that I don't want to talk to you." Even if I actually do. He doesn't need to know that, and I'm irritated the opportunity to talk isn't on my terms.

"Crystal," Potter says dryly.

"So stop talking," I say, poking my head into an empty classroom. Rounds are generally quite dull, despite how fun wandering around in a magical castle by moonlight might sound. The most exciting things one might encounter are second and third years trying to get away with later curfew. If it's a really scandalous night, we might get to bust a couple looking for some... erm... privacy.

"You're being ridiculous, Lily," Potter says, coming to stand at my shoulder. "Can't you let me just explain?"

"I am not being ridiculous, and you're not supposed to call me Lily anymore, remember?" I turn away without looking at him, striding for the moving staircase that will take us to the next floor.

"And that's not being ridiculous?" he says as we start down, holding tight to the banister as the staircase swings slowly to rest on the second floor corridor.

"No! And in any case, I already gave you the chance to explain. You're the one being ridiculous!" I hop off the last step before the stairs have the chance to move again. Potter follows.

"How is it ridiculous to want to stick up for a friend?" he complains.

This brings me up short. "I didn't think we were friends," I say, finally stopping to look at him, frowning.

"Well," Potter says. He hesitates, and his hand runs almost nervously through his hair. Then he says it again, resolutely. "Well, I'd like to be."

I open my mouth to talk, close it again, and walk away to investigate a nook in the wall behind a large bust of Melvin the Befuddled. We walk the whole floor without saying anything, Potter dutifully scanning the empty classrooms with me, wands lit to illuminate all the shadowy corners. When we come to the top of the Grand Staircase, I look up at him.

"Well," I say finally. "I'd like to be, too."

Potter's relieved smile almost lights up the dark corridor. "Yeah?"

"Now hold on a second," I lecture. "I'm still very mad at you."

"Yeah, but if we're friends, I'm sure that means you'll get over it eventually." All Potter's confidence has returned, and he starts down the stairs at a jaunty pace.

"That's not how it works!" I shout at his back as he skips down the last few steps, hurrying to keep up.

"Oh no? Then how does it work, Lily?" The smug smile he gives me over his shoulder really is too much.

"And also, I haven't given you permission to start using my name again." I try to sound stern, but his upbeat mood is getting to me and I'm really having to fight so that I don't let my own smile slip out.

"But we're friends now." He looks at me, eyebrows raised. "You know, by this logic, you really ought to call me James."

I snort. "I couldn't possibly," I say.

He frowns. "Why not?"

"Because... because you're Potter. That's just how I think of you. James -" I say it distastefully, "- just doesn't sound right." Never mind that I'd accidentally called him that to the girls once. That was a weird one-time thing.

"Hmm," Potter says, a little disgruntled. Then the mischief is back. "So you're saying that you think about me?"

I roll my eyes. "Don't flatter yourself so much. And we are so off topic. We still need to work through why I've been so mad at you in the first place and decide whether I can trust you enough to tell you about what I saw with the Slytherins yesterday."

His eyes go wide. "What happened with the Slytherins?"

"No. First, Severus."

Potter heaves a huge sigh, running his hand through his hair again. "Fine. Severus." He emphasizes Sev's name when he says it, but in a totally different way than he said my first name, all disdainful and irritated. "Go ahead. Lecture me."

I stare at him, eyebrows raised. "Aren't you going to apologize?" I ask.

"No," he says bluntly.

"Potter!" I fight to keep my voice under control. The Grand Staircase has dumped us right in the Entrance Hall and I can just imagine our voices echoing back up and around the castle for everyone to hear. "You can't just do things like that! You can't just... be a prat to people and -"

"Okay, fine! I apologize! I'm sorry, okay? But I'm only sorry you got so upset and I ruined our friendship. But I'm not sorry I did it." He folds his arms. "People can't... Snape can't... no one should be able to say things like that to you. To anyone."

I examine his scowling face, the determined set of his shoulders.

"You can't do that again," I say warningly.

"I won't," he says immediately.

"Or anything like that," I clarify.

"Fine," he allows.

"Even if," I say, fixing him with a meaningful stare, "even if something like this happens to me – or to any other student – again."

James grits his teeth and says nothing.

"I mean it," I say firmly. "We're the Heads. We go through proper channels of discipline – taking points, reporting to staff, detentions. NOT revenge magic."

He's quiet for a long time. "Fine," he finally mutters.

I smile. "Thank you. And, much as it pains me to say, thank you for trying to stick up for me."

He gives me a sideways glance, eyes skeptical.

I shrug. "Misguided as your – er – method was, I do understand what you were trying to do. And, in a way, I kind of weirdly appreciate it." I pause. "Not everyone would think what Severus said to me was even a big deal. Especially... you know... other Pureblood wizards."

James takes a moment to reply, walking with his hands in his pockets and staring pensively at the floor. When he finally does speak, he stops. I stop too. His voice is low and quiet. "You know it doesn't matter to me what your blood is, right?" he says, looking right in my eyes, gaze intense. "Not one bit."

"I do know," I say back, just as quiet.

"Good," he says, taking one step closer.

"Slytherins!" I blurt. He blinks.

"Now that we've got that settled, I can tell you about the Slytherins!" I babble. My heart is racing for some reason and I need to fill the quiet, delicate moment that just happened between us with some noise.

"Right," James says. He shakes his head. "Right," he says again. "Fill me in while we walk. We've still got this floor and the dungeons to do before we're done."

I talk while we walk, giving him all the details of the scene I'd witnessed with Emma on Wednesday, maybe over-dramatizing how close we'd come to getting caught. James, just as I had predicted, reacts appropriately in all the right places. "I wish I could have been there with you," he says. "We'd have tailed them and found out where they were going for sure."

We spend the whole way back up to Gryffindor Tower speculating where they'd been going and what they were up to. ("Secret dueling group?" "Training the thestrals to be their battle-mounts?" "Just looking for a quiet, private place to relax?" "Gathering potion ingredients to force Snape to finally wash his hair?" (I punch Potter on the shoulder for that one).)

The common room is absolutely dead when we crawl back through the portrait hole; it's well after midnight. The fire has died down to smoldering embers, leaving the room almost entirely shadowed. The light falling in from the near-full moon is by far the brightest thing in here.

"Lily," Potter says, going over to look out one of the windows at the sky, "about tutoring..."

I sink down into an armchair next to the window. "Ack, I know, I'm sorry I skipped this week. Although I do think it was the right thing for me to do. You know me and my temper... it would have been disastrous for me to go that night."

James lips twitch into a brief smile. "No, it's fine. You're right. I don't blame you at all for not coming. No, it's about next week."

"What about it?"

"I... er... I need to reschedule. I can't make tutoring on Tuesday."

I knit my eyebrows together, sitting up straight in the chair. "And why's that?"

Potter shrugs uncomfortably. "I just... can't, okay?" When I frown at him, he hurries on. "But I still want to meet for tutoring next week! This isn't me trying to get out of it or anything. I just have a personal conflict that night."

I continue to frown at him. "If this is some sort of sneaky Marauder thing..."

I'm not very reassured when I think I see Potter flush, though it's hard to tell in such dim lighting. "Nothing like that at all!" He says. His fingers tug at his already messy dark hair.

I scrutinize him for a minute more, then relax back into my chair. "Fine," I say. "In the spirit of our brand-new friendship, I will choose to trust you." I narrow my eyes at him. "Even if you are acting guiltier than a niffler in a bank vault."

"Thanks," James says, smiling with relief.

"For someone who prides himself in mischief, you sure are a terrible liar," I say. "And also, seeing as I missed last week and you're postponing this coming week, I think it best you make this up to me with an extra session."

"Deal," James says. I grin, but it's quickly broken up by a huge yawn.

"Up to bed you go, Head Girl," James lectures. "Don't you know it's way past curfew?"

I chuckle and stretch in my seat. "I would've gone to bed earlier," I say, "but some bloke's kept me up half the night talking about friendship and Slytherin schemes."

"Hey now," James says, but he's laughing too. He holds a hand out to me and I take it after just a moment's hesitation, allowing him to pull me to my feet. For the second time tonight, I find myself alarmingly close to him, just like we were at the top of the stairs.

I look up at him. The firelight glows off his glasses. "Thanks for coming along," I say. "In the end, you were a pretty good rounds partner."

"You too," he says, giving my fingers a squeeze, and only then do I realize we're still holding hands. I drop his quickly.

"Well, goodnight, Potter," I say curtly, giving him a nod and turning to go.

"Night, Lily," he says, and I can hear the smirk in his voice all the way up the stairs.