Chapter 10. Surrender
Content warning: Contains sexual content that may not be suitable for readers under the age of 18.
The following morning Merton went down to the door at the bottom of the stairwell and picked up the Sunday morning newspaper, left in the mailbox fastened to the outside wall. Bringing it up to the kitchen he opened the ads and found the two for Yonkers, an ad for a Victorian secretary desk, the other an estate sale with a viewing on Sunday morning, with the sale scheduled for the afternoon. As he read the ads Ariel got up and began the coffee.
"I have to go out today," he said. "There is a secretary desk for sale that I'm interested in and an estate sale with a viewing. I won't be back until after 6 pm. Do you think Bucky would be available to help carry my purchases inside the store?"
Ariel smiled. "I think that can be arranged," she said. "You're certain about the time?"
"Very," said Merton.
He telephoned the number for the secretary desk and promised to be out there in an hour or so. Quickly he ate some breakfast and drank his coffee then headed out in the van. Ariel got dressed and called Bucky to say Merton would be out all day. He had to do some yard work for his mother first but promised to be there as soon as he could. While she waited Ariel put a roast beef in the oven, planning to cook it before the apartment got too hot. For dinner all she would have to do was make a gravy, cut the beef into slices and heat them up in the gravy then quickly mash some potatoes and boil some vegetables, an easy Sunday dinner. Feeling ambitious she also baked a chocolate cake and iced it. Just as she finished cleaning up the preparations and the breakfast dishes she heard a light knock on the door and opened it.
"Ariel," said Bucky excitedly as he picked her up and twirled her around. "Are we alone?"
"He's gone," she smiled. "I have a roast in the oven that should be done soon but we have all the time in the world."
"I'm not wasting any of it," he replied, picking her up again and carrying her to her room.
He dropped her on the bed, turned on the radio, closed her bedroom door and practically jumped on the bed with her. They kicked their shoes off and turned to each other, kissing and caressing over their clothes. With a soft smile Bucky placed his hand on Ariel's leg and ran his calloused fingertips up her leg, then cupped her cheek under her panty.
"Mr. Barnes, you're taking a liberty," said Ariel, coyly. "What would your parents think?"
"That I shouldn't stop there," he replied, squeezing her cheek. "Let's get you out of these clothes."
Withdrawing that hand he started unbuttoning her dress, slipping his hand in over her bra as he nuzzled against her neck. His lips moved down to her chest as he pulled her dress over her shoulder.
"These definitely have to come off," he said, sitting upright, then stepping off the bed.
He offered her his hand and started to undress Ariel, layer by layer until he had her naked in front of him. Adjusting himself with a grin he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her closer, as she draped her arms around his shoulder. Mouthing her breasts with his lips he caressed her back and bottom.
"Now you're overdressed," said Ariel softly.
"I am," he confirmed. "Lie down."
He stood up as she laid on top of the bed, then took his shirt off, revealing that sleeveless undershirt that accentuated Bucky's chest and shoulder muscles. Ariel gasped as he took it off, turned on by how perfect his body was to her. Her one hand went to her breast, rubbing against the nipple and making it aroused while her other hand went down to her clitoris, gently touching it.
"Is that for me?" asked Bucky. "Are you getting worked up?"
She nodded. "It's been a week since we were interrupted," she replied. "I want you, James."
"I love it when you say my name," he said as he pressed his hand against his groin. "Say it again."
Ariel spread her legs slightly, feeling her desire spreading through her core. "Make love to me, James. I want you in me, now."
He reached inside his pocket and pulled out several condom packages, then unbuttoned his pants, letting them fall on the floor. His boxers were already straining, barely containing his hard on. Pulling them off he rolled a condom on and laid on top of Ariel, his eyes dark with lust for her.
"What do you want me to do to you?" he growled, his hips already grinding against her.
"I want you in me," she replied, in a ragged breath. "I want to feel you deep inside."
Grasping himself Bucky thrust himself into her making her cry out at his size. For a moment he hesitated then she grasped both butt cheeks in her hands and pulled him deeper into her.
"Fuck me, hard," she said again and he saw her pupils were large and dark; her desire matching his own.
With a grin he pushed hard into her, and set a fast pace, making her cry out. The sound of their skin slapping together was louder than the radio, the strength of his thrusts made the bed creak and all throughout they never took their eyes off of each other. Adriel continued fondling her breasts, rubbing her nipples between her thumb and forefinger then placed her fingers on her clitoris again, bringing herself closer to coming. Bucky took her hand away, placing it above her head and she smiled at him, putting her other hand over it. He smiled and held them both down with his one hand, lowering himself closer and making sure his thrusts hit her in just the right spot.
"You getting close?" he said. "Don't lie to me, I can tell."
"Make me come, then," she challenged him. "Be a good boy and make your girl come."
He moaned at her for calling him a good boy, and calling herself his girl. Letting go of her hands he pulled her upright onto his spread apart legs. Just that movement alone almost made her come and she kissed him, thrusting her tongue deeply into his mouth while forcing herself onto him. When her orgasm began she called out his given name, James, and began writhing in ecstasy, deep groans coming from within her. Bucky came at that moment, clasping her tightly to his body as he thrust several more times emptying himself. With the last thrust, their sweaty bodies still connected, he kissed her neck before finding her mouth and fiercely kissing her before he lowered them both back down to the bed. Carefully, he pulled out and left the room, returning a moment later.
"I put it in the garbage bin," he said in a low voice. "You'll have to put something on top so he doesn't know. Ariel, that was ... I ..."
He couldn't say anything more, but he grasped her tightly and buried his face in her neck. She put her arm around him and placed her hand in his hair, playing with it, like he played with hers. Her upper leg came over his and he draped his arm across her body, his hand resting on her breast. They laid there, not speaking, just listening to the music coming from the radio but also aware of the sounds outside. Occasionally they heard a car drive near, or the sound of a baby crying, even the sounds of their own breathing became audible to them in this hyper aware state they found themselves in. After some time Ariel stole a look at the clock and lightly patted Bucky's arm.
"I have to take the roast out," she whispered. "I'll only be a minute."
Extracting her arm from under him she put her robe on as he watched her. In the kitchen she turned the oven off, put the oven mitts on and pulled the roast out. As she put it on top of the oven she felt Bucky's arms around her and his breath on her neck. Smiling, she leaned back into his body then turned to him. He wore his boxers and stood there, towering over her, just gazing at her with a soft smile.
"I was coming right back," she said softly. "Honestly."
"I know," he said. "I'm thirsty, came for a drink of water. Maybe a snack. That took a lot of energy."
She put her hand on his cheek and he leaned into it, turning his head so he could kiss her palm.
"How about some fruit?" she asked, pointing to a bowl of fruit on the table.
He nodded and picked up an apple, sitting at the kitchen table. Pulling a glass out of the cupboard Ariel poured him a glass of water and placed it beside him. Bucky pulled her into his lap and offered her a bite of the apple which she delicately bit.
"Perfect," he said, taking another bite, while watching her intently.
Together they ate the apple, then Ariel took the core and dropped it into the bin. Bucky put his hand out to her and drew her in close, untying the sash of her robe while he did so. He pressed his lips against her abdomen, while caressing her bottom. Raising her hands to her shoulders Ariel lowered the robe and let it fall to the floor then straddled Bucky, surprising him. As he supported her she placed her hands on both sides of his face and kissed him. Right away she could feel him growing underneath her and she ground herself into him.
"Here?" he asked. "You want to do this here?"
"We can do it anywhere," she whispered in his ear.
For a moment there was a glint in his eye then it was replaced by something softer and he caressed her hair gently.
"I love you," he whispered, then kissed her gently.
He stood up, holding her around his waist and went back to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, alternating between gazing at her and kissing her neck and breasts.
"Lie down," Ariel whispered, then brushed her lips against his.
Releasing her he laid back on the bed, pulling his boxers off as he did. Ariel climbed over him and looked at him from above, then sat back on his legs and gently began stroking his cock, making it hard. She teased him by lightly flicking the tip with her tongue, smiling as his breathing changed from relaxed to quick, short breaths. Then she kissed all around his abdomen, mouthing the skin and making sure her tongue made contact. When she looked up at him his eyes were closed, enjoying the touch of her lips. From his abdomen she moved on to his chest and swirled her tongue around his nipples, lightly nipping them between her teeth when they reacted to her. After reaching down to herself she brought her fingers to his lips and he opened his eyes, then grasped her fingers placing them in his mouth, gently licking her taste off.
"You taste so good," he whispered, then he caressed her hair as he gazed deeply into her eyes. "You're so different, so free. I want this ... what we have, I want it to last forever."
"It will last as long as it lasts," she replied, not wanting to talk about a future together. "Let's enjoy the here and now."
Before he could respond she pressed her mouth against his, thrusting her tongue deeply into his mouth. He clasped her tightly against his body, grinding his hips up into her, as she slid herself along his hard member. Breaking the kiss Bucky reached for another condom and put it on, then guided Ariel onto him. Her breathing changed as she settled down on him, feeling him fill her completely and deeply. Rolling her hips back and forth Ariel began to ride Bucky, watching him intently as she caressed herself. His hands ran up her thighs then grasped her hips, holding her close as he raised himself into her.
"Touch me," she gasped then took one of his hands and placed it on her breast.
Circling her nipple with his thumb he watched her face closely as she closed her eyes and bit down on her lower lip. Raising his other hand he did the same to the other nipple rolling it between his thumb and forefinger, then smiling as she gasped at his touch. Her hands were on his chest and he placed his hands on top of them, bringing them closer to his head so that she had to lower her body closer to his. Wrapping his arms around her he kissed her neck, mouthing the pulse point beneath her ear.
"I love when you do that," she murmured. "It makes me feel ..."
"Feel what?" he whispered back. "Aroused? Ready to come?"
She raised her face and gazed intently at him. "Like surrendering completely," she said.
Bucky's hands cupped her face and he gazed at her intensely. "To what?" he began. "To me?" She shook her head then brushed her lips against his as his hands moved down to her back, enclosing her close to his body, stilling her motions. "Stop for a moment. I want to understand. What do you want to surrender to?"
She stopped and lay her head on his shoulder, breathing raggedly for several moments. "To us," she whispered. She raised her head so she was looking at his handsome face, full of love and concern for her. "I wasn't looking for this. At most I thought it would be a fling, some good times with a handsome man. I don't know where this will lead but right now I'm yours in body, mind, and soul."
"Then we'll get married," said Bucky. "Won't we? Isn't that the next step when you say something like that?"
Ariel took another ragged breath. "My mother died when I was almost two," she said. "I barely remember her, just her smile and and her hair. It hurt my father when she died and as I grew I could see that I reminded him of her. But it wasn't good memories, it only brought him sadness. I was sent away to a convent to live, even though we weren't Catholic. They were the only places that would take a little girl whose father couldn't bear to see her."
Tears began to stream down her face and Bucky used his fingers to wipe them away, kissing her cheeks after.
"Marriage doesn't mean something good to me," she said. "It's pain and misery, and sending your child away so you don't have to be reminded of what you lost. Uncle Merton tried to take me out of the convent when I was eleven. He and my father had a terrible argument about it but it forced him to bring me home. Then he banished my uncle from ever stepping foot in the house again. That's when I found out about him being queer, and my father said there was no way in hell he would let him raise his daughter."
"That's when he came here, to Brooklyn," said Bucky. "You have to know that our marriage wouldn't be like that. I would honour you, respect you, treat you like a queen."
"I know you would," she said, "but the thought of marriage is just too much to deal with for me. My fear of it, of being left with a child and doing the same to it that my father did to me ... It's an irrational fear, I know. Can you just accept that me surrendering to the thought of us is maybe the beginning step before you pressure me into marriage?"
There was no sound from Bucky as he processed Ariel's request, although he kept stroking her hair and back. Then his breathing changed and he squeezed her slightly.
"The condom is slipping," he said gently. "Let me get rid of it and I'll be right back."
Ariel raised herself off of him and he took it off, retreating to the kitchen and returning with her robe which they had left on the floor. He got back into bed with her and put his arm around her shoulders as she placed her hand on his chest and raised her leg onto his.
"I love you," he said in a soft low voice. "You are everything I ever wanted in a woman, beautiful, smart, vulnerable, strong, friendly, and so much more than I have words for. If you're willing to surrender to the thought of us, even though it's only a step and not a commitment to marriage then I'm willing to surrender with you. I want to be yours in body, mind, and soul." Ariel pressed herself closer to him as he said that and he tightened his arm around her. "I won't bring up marriage again, not for a while, but that is where I see us someday. Marriage, a family, our own place; I want it all and I want it with you."
A deep cleansing breath escaped from Ariel's lips as Bucky laid his heart bare to her. At that moment she loved him and believed that promising to commit to them, as a couple, even though it wasn't yet a commitment to marriage would have to suffice, as it was all that she was capable of. He accepted it and that was most important. They laid together on her bed for another hour, listening to the sounds coming from both inside and outside the house. It wasn't until she saw the time that she roused herself.
"I have to get supper ready," she said. "You are staying, aren't you? Uncle Merton will need your help to carry his purchases into the store."
"I'll stay," he said, caressing her hair. "I'll even help you get supper ready if you give me something to do."
They kissed sensuously and Ariel got out of bed. She got dressed as Bucky watched then kissed him again. He made her bed, then dressed himself and went out to the kitchen where Ariel had potatoes and a potato peeler ready for him. With the kitchen bin in front of him, he peeled the potatoes, making sure the discarded peels covered up the evidence of their lovemaking. After rinsing the potatoes he cut them up and put them in salted water. Ariel sliced the roast and was making gravy from the drippings. Once that was bubbling and had thickened she put the sliced meat into the gravy and put it back in the oven on low. Then she took a pail of peas in the shell from the pantry. Together they shelled them and put the peas into a bowl before pouring them into a pot of boiling salted water. The discarded shells further covered up the discarded condoms. While the vegetables were cooking Merton came up the stairs and smiled at both of them.
"I could use your help, Bucky," he said. "I made quite a few purchases today. The van is full. Would you help me empty it?"
"Sure," he replied, heading down to the street with Merton.
While they were busy with that Ariel drained the potatoes and mashed them with butter and cream. As she was draining the peas the two men came up and took turns washing up in the bathroom before coming out to the table. Merton pulled the plates and cutlery out while Ariel put the food on the table. Then they all sat down and looked at each other.
"What did you both get up to?" asked Merton, as he served himself some potatoes, then meat, using a spoon to put the gravy on.
Bucky passed him the peas. "I did some yard work for my mother before I came over and we went for a walk," he said, "then we listened to music and I helped Ariel get the meal ready."
Merton looked at him critically then at Ariel. "I told him about Father sending me to live in the convent," said Ariel, signalling to him the back story that had been agreed upon before she came to this time.
"She told you I disagreed with him about that?" asked Merton. "I thought she needed to be with family but he was still hurting from the loss of my sister." Bucky nodded. "It came to a head and he banished me from Ariel's life but at least she was home. You can understand why I care about her future so passionately."
"Yes sir," replied Bucky. "We had a deep talk about it. We're committed to each other but there won't be talk of marriage, not for some time. That will hopefully give me time to prove my worth as a husband and someday a father."
"I'm glad to hear it," said Merton.
The conversation changed to more mundane topics and the meal passed pleasantly enough. After everyone ate some chocolate cake Bucky helped wash the dishes, while Merton dried and put them away. As he went over his receipts for the purchases he made, Bucky and Ariel sat in the living room and listened to records, while Rosie sat on her lap.
"Do you think he believed me?" whispered Bucky.
"He didn't challenge you," she replied. "We did do what you said, except for the walk."
"Afterwards, yeah," he whispered with a smile. "I'm glad you confided in me. You can trust me, you know. I care about you."
"I know," she said. "It felt good to get that off my chest. I hope I'm worth it."
"Oh baby, you are," said Bucky, kissing her forehead. He looked at the mantle clock and sighed. "I should get going. I left a note that I was staying for supper but I should put in an appearance before bedtime."
They got up from the sofa and Ariel told Merton she was walking Bucky down to the street level door. This time she closed the apartment door and they stopped at the base of the stairs. Ariel stood on the bottom step while Bucky wrapped his arms around her. They gazed at each other lovingly for some time before they kissed, sweetly at first then more passionately.
"I love you," said Bucky. "We'll work out where and when we can be together again."
"I love you, too," she replied. "Thank you for understanding."
They kissed again and Bucky opened the door. Ariel watched him walk away in the darkness until he was out of sight. When she went upstairs Merton was still at the kitchen table and motioned her over to sit across from him. She went for her diary first before sitting.
"What happened? Why did you tell him the back story?"
"He brought up marriage again," replied Ariel. "I had to have a reason why I couldn't consider it so I used the back story. I associated marriage with the pain and misery of my father losing my mother and sending me away because I resembled her. We were in the middle of something at the time. I had to think fast."
"Alright," said Merton, looking directly at her. "I'm concerned you're allowing yourself to get too involved. I do care about you, Ariel. I feel quite fatherly about you."
She smiled. "I know. Considering that I haven't had a father in my life I'm fond of you too."
He reached out and squeezed her hand, then looked at her with some emotion after she returned her attention to her work. As she wrote in her diary about the day's events he continued entering his purchases into his ledgers. His excursion had actually been very enjoyable and he made some good purchases. As he watched Ariel write he wondered what had really happened between them. The fact that Ariel so easily omitted the sex part of their day concerned him but the encounter had been approved by Peri and he wasn't going to second guess her.