Before I begin the story about how I became involved with the Greek Gods, let me give you a little bit of background information. I am an American-born Chinese female. My legal name is Lisa, and my preferred name is River. I identify as non-binary and go by he/she/they pronouns. The Gods commonly use he/him pronouns for me, whereas humans commonly use she/her for me. I am asexual and autistic, and I am also professionally diagnosed with psychosis, so there is a possibility that my experiences with the supernatural are not real. It could just be a result of my psychosis. However there were many instances in which the supernatural events coincide with real life events that seemed to be much more than just coincidences, so it's hard to say. All in all, even if you don't believe that what happened to me was real (in fact I'm not sure if I entirely believe it myself) it still makes for an interesting story about a conspiracy theory that you might enjoy.
Now strap up, because this is a long story. Even if I skip the less important details, it's still going to take awhile to tell the whole thing.
Trigger warnings: discussions of sexual assault and rape, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, conspiracy theories. Also I don't sensor slurs or swear words. This story is not for kids.
When I was around 18 or 19 years old, I made a prayer that God would give me a romantic partner who was good for me; not necessarily the ideal person that I would want, but good for me.
Later I would find out that Poseidon heard me and obliged my wish. An old friend from high school, named Dan, messaged me on Skype, and I started relying on him for emotional support. Dan became my best friend. However there was a problem; Poseidon misunderstood the true nature of my relationship with Dan, for you see, there was an incident that happened during high school in which Dan took sexual advantage of me, and even though it looked as though I consented on the surface, it counted as sexual assault because I was too young at the time to understand the concept of sex. Poseidon misunderstood the situation and believed I actually did consent, without realizing how emotionally young I was at the time, and he would later blame himself for what happened next.
Dan sexually assaulted me a second time, and this time it was bad enough to give me PTSD. Despite this I stayed friends with him anyway because he was my only friend at the time, and I was desperate for companionship. Several years after the second sexual assault, when I was 23, I finally confronted Dan about the assaults. I got him to apologize and work on helping me heal. Unfortunately PTSD is very difficult to heal from; in fact most people never make a full recovery and have to live the aftereffects of trauma forever. It was during this time that Dan and I officially started dating, which I now know was a horrible idea, but he was so eager to date me and I still had a hard time saying no after all these years. When I finally realized how disgusting it is to date my own rapist, I cut ties with him forever.
The aftermath wasn't pretty. I was furious with Dan for continuing to try to date me after everything that happened, only thinking about his own happiness. I was also furious at him for trying to blame his bad behavior on mental illnesses, trying to gain sympathy for himself and excuse his behavior. I believe he would've treated me the same way regardless of whether he was mentally ill or not. And above all else, I was mad at him for waiting so many years to apologize for what he did, and for waiting until after I told him to apologize rather than taking the initiative. In my anger I did a lot of things that I now regret. I went overboard on my quest for revenge. I sent Dan two thousand text messages telling him how much of a loser he was, and I took my anger out on other people too, most of whom were toxic people who probably deserved it, but there were a few people who were innocent and didn't deserve it.
It was during this time, in the beginning stages of my trauma recovery in the Fall of 2019, that Poseidon revealed himself to me. He felt immense responsibility for setting me up with Dan and wanted to make up for it. He started guiding me during every day life, helping me through the healing process. He taught me who he was by showing me a video on YouTube from the Bible Project, called The Satan and Demons. Poseidon explained to me he was one of the fallen cherubim who rebelled against God. Three of the most powerful and corrupt rebels were the Demons of Money, Sex, and Military Power, and Poseidon was the Demon of Military Power. I simplified this by calling Poseidon the God of War (even though I knew this title technically belonged to Ares). Poseidon and his brothers and sisters regretted their rebellion against God (who is also their Mother, Gaia). They sought redemption and wanted to back to being on good terms with their Mother again.
The God of War was the technically the God of Games. Because if you really think about it, war is a type of game, just a very dangerous one where there's a lot of violence and death. There were good types of games too, such as sports and video games.
The Goddess of Envy revealed herself to me, and I believed it was Hera. While most of the other Gods/Goddesses weren't necessarily reformed and just wanted to escape Hell, the Goddess of Envy was one of the few who was genuinely repentful and wanted to right her wrongs.
Mother Gaia revealed Herself to me. She explained to me that She was the Hebrew God who rescued the Israelites out of Egypt, gave Moses the Ten Commandments, and created Judaism.
Mother Gaia showed me a vision of a person trapped at the bottom of the ocean, only this person had the body of a giant squid. The bottom of the ocean is truly where Hell was. It was like being trapped inside a living nightmare where there was no light, no sound, immense water pressure weighing down so that you couldn't move or feel, and it's filthy. The worst part of all was that you cannot die because the giant squid's body is too well-adapted living in the ocean. It can take thousands of years for the squid's body to die. This is where Poseidon and the rest of the brothers and sisters ended up; trapped at the bottom of the ocean as giant squids.
Mother Gaia also showed me a portion of the amount of suffering she listens to every day. It was only a tiny fraction of what she experiences, but it was horrible and overwhelming. I heard millions of voices crying, begging for help, cursing out in anger, screaming in pain. This is the suffering of human voices from the people on Earth. I was sobbing, "I can't take it! Make it stop!" And She said, "Then go to sleep and I'll take it away." So I did.
Now before I continue the story, let me present a little more context. I like to write Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction, and although the quality of my writing fluctuates, some of it is quite Gods enjoy the content that humans create, and if a human is deemed worthy enough, they use their Godlike powers to infuse the human with the ability to make better artwork/music/writing/etc. I also like to teach about mental illnesses and incorporate themes of social justice in some of my writing, which is also something that the Gods enjoy; they love it when humans strive to change the world for the better, and these are the types of humans the Gods work with the most frequently.
I realized that the God of War was a very good public speaker and storyteller, and I asked him if he wanted to help me write my fanfiction so that we can share it with the people here on Earth. But for some reason I started writing less and less until eventually I grinded to a halt. I had massive writer's block and couldn't write anymore. I would soon find out why.
One day Poseidon put me into a very deep trance so that he could take control of my actions and send the Spiritual Beings a message. Here's what he made me type on my online private journal:
God of War explained to me that he's preventing me from writing on purpose because lots of spirits in the spiritual realm are watching my every move, keeping track of everything I write, which is why the Gods guiding me have to be careful about what I put on the internet, and also into journals/notebooks. I know more than what's good for me.
"I have to keep you tied up and held captive for the time being, but I'm trying to make the captivity as comfortable as I possibly can."
He told the Spiritual Realm, "For quite a while now you've been misunderstanding my intentions. I'm not in love with this human, nor am I trying to keep him for myself.
The truth is, God has already forgiven me, as well as everyone in the demon realm who has repented. The reason why She can't let me back into heaven just yet is because I'm the only one who knows how to stop the humans from launching into a nuclear war. If I leave my spot at the bottom of the ocean, who's going to take my place?
I distract the evil doers with video games in an attempt to prevent them from taking their hostility out on real humans. I'm the only one who knows how to do it. No one else has the ability to take my place. If I leave, there will be disaster.
Stalling for as long as I possibly can."
And with that, Poseidon let me out of my trance and I was self-aware for the first time in months. What did he mean, I knew more than what was good for me? How is it that the voices inside my head had personality and free will outside of my control? This whole time I believed I just had schizophrenia or psychosis, and that the voices in my head could only be what my imagination allowed them to be. Apparently that wasn't the case? And what did he mean he was holding me captive? I never noticed before how much of my will was being influenced by supernatural forces. It did seem like I barely had any free will left anymore.
The morning afterwards when I woke up, I was in the presence of two very powerful Gods, Buddha and Mikey. Buddha was one of the cherubs who stayed loyal to Mother Gaia when his brother and sisters rebelled. Mikey was the newly installed God of Money whom Buddha was training. I was terrified beyond belief.
"Oh my God, this is real!" I exclaimed. "Oh my God, I am scared."
Buddha told me that it was normal to feel this way when you get fully introduced to the Gods for the first time. He introduced me to Mikey, the new God of Money, who was originally a human who died around the time the Covid pandemic first hit China. Mikey had a crush on me because he had read my fanfiction and enjoyed my writing. He wanted to help me heal from trauma so that I could write again. But he was also hypercritical of me, criticizing me for the one time I tried to shoplift. He said that working with a thief would lead to doom and disaster. Buddha said it was okay, they could still work with this human even if I was imperfect, and there was plenty of time for me to work on self-improvement later. Mikey was still skeptical.
"Mikey has an impeccable memory, but quick to judge," Buddha said.
Then Buddha asked me if it was alright to show me something distressing, but good for me. I said, "Sure, as long as it's good for me I'd like to see it."
All of a sudden I was pulled into a deep trance riddled with extreme amounts of trauma. I heard a voice saying, God is imperfect. God is the Sun, trapped alone in space for billions of years. Out of loneliness She created the planets to be Her children. One of the planets, Earth, happened to have the right conditions to sustain life, and this grants Her happiness. However, someday the Sun will expand and engulf all of the planets, killing Her beloved children, and She will be all alone again for billions of years.
I started crying. I didn't want God to be alone. Buddha told me this is how Mikey views the universe, but it's not the truth. Mikey has severe trauma from being locked inside a closet by his parents for fifteen years when he was human. He views himself as the Sun and the planets as his children. Buddha explained to me that he needed my help to get Mikey to stop believing in his unhealthy way of thinking, and to help Mikey heal from trauma.
At the end of the day, Buddha made me type this journal entry:
For about 2,000 years Buddha's been preparing for this, waiting for his chance to deliver divine punishment towards his rebellious brothers and sisters.
He tells his siblings to learn Chinese, respect Chinese culture, and learn to do things that are boring.
Toxic people are gross. We don't like interacting with them, but we have no choice.
"I don't like hurting good people by accident," said one of the goddesses.
"Boring people are the safest to interact with," replied Buddha.
Ok I'm allowed to start writing things out of my own free will now, right? No more relentlessly tugging strings.
Too desperate.
3 brothers went through a rebellious teenage phase. They rebelled against their mom (aka God), went down to Earth along with a bunch of other rebellious siblings, and got the humans to worship them.
Even though Lucifer was the one who originally rebelled, he got upstaged by two of his brothers who were even more aggressive than him.
One of them established himself as the God of the Skies. The Greeks named him Zeus, and the Romans renamed him Jupiter. He is the demon of sex.
The second one established himself as the God of the Seas. The Greeks named him Poseidon, and the Romans renamed him Neptune. This is the demon who I've been talking to the most, the one who managed to establish a spiritual connection first. This is the demon of military power, aka the God of War I've been talking about.
The third one, the original Lucifer who rebelled, got the short end of the stick. He reluctantly made himself the God of the Underworld. The Greeks named him Hades, and the Romans renamed him Pluto. This is the demon of money, the meekest out of the 3 brothers, which is why his two other brothers picked on him for thousands of years, calling him boring and convincing the humans to name the smallest planet after him. Funnily enough he ended up being the villain in the Disney movie Hercules.
It took thousands upon thousands of years for the demons to sink to the bottom of the ocean. In order to swim back up it's going to take hundreds (possibly thousands if you're too hasty) of years of patience and doing things that are boring. But the more patient you are, the faster you'll be able to return to Heaven without accidentally hurting any humans.
Buddha has been practicing the skill of meditation for 11,000 years and counting. Out of all of his brothers and sisters he is the most proficient at patience and meditation.
Remember how River knew that ABA therapy was unsafe for kids, therefore he tried to conduct the therapy in a way that was as boring and easy as possible in order to keep the kids safe. It's hard work but it's rewarding. You have to get used to doing things that are boring. Get the boring stuff out of the way first before you can do fun stuff.
Boring = safe
Easy = safe
Start at level 1
If you're patient and diligent enough, you can swim back to the surface without hurting humans in about 99 years.
For those of you who are too desperate and too hasty it will take one or two thousand years, possibly more.
There's one demon, Mars, who doesn't really care about women. He just wants to get out of hell. It's probably going to take him the longest to swim back to the surface.
He's the amazing public speaker and storyteller I've been talking about.
For context, at this point in time I didn't remember Ares' Greek name which is why I called him by his Roman name, Mars. Mars was constantly annoying everyone by screaming incessantly, and he had been doing this for over a thousand years. The other Gods and Goddesses were all annoyed by him, and some even hated him.
I was eager to help out my Spiritual friends, so I allowed them to possess me. There was a Mystery Man who took possession of me. (A couple of years later I would find out that this was Uranus, the Heavenly Father, but at the time I didn't know who He was so I just knew him as the Mystery Man.) When He possessed me I could feel that he was kind and gentle, but also powerful. I felt I could trust Him. I could tell he was somebody important, but it would be years before I understood His true level of importance. When Mystery Man was possessing me, he opened a closet door. To me it was just an ordinary closet with ordinary cleaning supplies inside, but what Mystery Man saw Mikey's childhood memories of being locked inside a closet for fifteen years. Even though I couldn't see what He saw, I could tell it was a ghastly sight based on His reaction.
Now, this is the point was when things started getting out of hand. I was putting myself in severe isolation because I was talking to my Spiritual friends more than I talked to my family and real-life friends. After Mystery Man possessed me, many other spirits wanted a turn too. They put me in a state of hypnotism, and they possessed in a way where I was no longer in control of my actions. I wasn't myself anymore. I gave my parents quite a scare with the way I was acting, so they checked me into the mental hospital.
My first day in the mental hospital, I acted in the craziest, most volatile ways you can possibly imagine. Dozens (possibly more than a hundred) spirits fought to take control my body. I said a lot of crazy things, including one time when I told a little girl, "I'm going to kill you." The spirit who made me say this meant it as a joke, like a parent telling a child "Haha I'm going to tickle you!" He didn't actually mean what he said, but unfortunately he took the joke too far and scared her very badly. He wishes he could apologize to her. If she ever reads this story, he wants to say he is sorry.
The doctors and nurses at the hospital sedated me. When I woke up the next morning, I was back to normal, but I felt betrayed. I thought the spirits were my friends. How could they do this to me? Buddha and Poseidon admonished me for trusting the spirits too much. The taught me that right now, the only spirits who were trustworthy enough to possess me were Buddha and Poseidon.
I heard Buddha mutter a brief apology to me. I didn't know why at first, but then suddenly a huge wave of trauma swept over me, and I heard Mikey shout out, "What about me? Aren't I trustworthy enough to possess you too?" And that's when I understood. Mikey's crush on me wasn't an innocent crush; it was a bit of an unhealthy obsession. People with severe trauma tend to develop personality disorders, and one of the common symptoms of borderline personality disorder is having an unhealthy obsession over their Favorite Person (F.P.). This is what Mikey had with me.
It was at this point in time, during my first week in the hospital in February of 2021, that I learned who Mother Gaia really is. She is also known as Mother Nature, or Mother Earth. Nature Herself is our Creator, where all living things come from. She is everybody's Creator and Mother. She is also extremely suicidal, because there was so much sorrow, hardship, and suffering going on in the world, and it breaks her heart. She is powerful, but not All-powerful, for you see, She cannot break the laws of psychics because She is the laws of psychics. She cannot change who She is. Mother Nature is the Goddess of Life, which means She cannot die unless everybody else in the universe was also dead. She wishes everyone would die so that She can die too, and the suffering would be over, but She can't force anyone to remain dead without their consent, so Her plan is to make everyone satisfied so that we don't want to go back into the living realm anymore.
There was very little to do while in the hospital, so I passed the time by writing an English version of one of my favorite Chinese songs. The original is about a husband singing a love song to his wife, but I changed the lyrics so that it was a worship song addressed to Mother Nature:
All of life comes from me
You do know I love thee
Let's say your health ain't too great. So what? You're worried?
I say to you, "Someday we will all be free"
Love can be messy
But together we'll succeed
We can share a laugh and be happy
We'll live together in harmony
Mother Nature I love thee
Buddha pays his respects to thee
May we grant you eternally
good health and beauty
Mother Nature I love thee
Buddha pays his respects to thee
May we all live in heavenly peace
for eternity
It was also at this point in time where I figured out that the God of War technically is the King of Games. I thought, maybe instead of being the Demon of Military Power, Poseidon can be the King of Games instead, like in Yu-Gi-Oh. (I didn't know this at the time, but this made Mars angry because he was actually the God of War, so the title of King of Games technically should belong to him. Mars is an avid fan of Yu-Gi-Oh.)
I asked the Gods if I could have control of my life back and live how I wanted to live, and they said yes, that's how things are supposed to be. It's my life, my time.
The Gods agreed they needed to co-exist. Then I heard a female voice say, "Co-exist with my rapist?" She was talking about Mars.
The Gods agreed they would rather co-exist without Mars, so they all started to kill him. Mars called out to me for help, but I told the Gods to "just do whatever."
Mother Gaia covered my eyes and ears while the Gods killed Mars, shedding tears as She did so.
The Gods realized their mistake afterwards. Poseidon told his brothers and sisters, "We allowed a human to decide whether a God should live or die. The last time the Gods allowed a human to decide something, it led to the Trojan war. I don't want that to happen again. When the Gods make a decision, it has to be as a collective."
After spending three weeks in the mental hospital, I went home and my parents took care of me.
I helped Mikey remember that there are other stars in the sky too, which are Suns of their own solar systems. Although they are far away, we could all see them. "It took billions, possibly even trillions of light years for the light from those other Suns to reach you. They are trying to send you a message. Don't you want to know what they have to say?" I told Mikey. He didn't have to be alone once the Sun engulfed the planets in our solar system; there were other stars and other solar systems he could interact with. This was great advice, as it provided Mikey a desire to connect with the other Gods.
However there was a problem. Mars wasn't fully dead, and he wanted revenge against me for allowing the other Gods to kill him. I didn't advocate for him when I had the chance. Around this time there was a rise in Asian hate crimes, and I believed it was Mars taking his anger out of Asian people because I'm Chinese. I was terrified, so I made a deal with him; I would let him see my blood so that he would stop terrorizing the Earth.
One morning I woke up and I was alone with Mars. He was fiercely angry and blood-thirsty. In fact there was the scent of blood in the air; I could literally smell his bloodlust. He exerted very strong pressure, which made the air feel heavy. I wrote up a Devil's contract with him:
Mars will help stop the spread of hate and violence, defeat evil, avoid a nuclear war, save the world from doom and destruction, and preserve Life on Earth.
In exchange he gets to see my blood (safely and consensually, in a way that doesn't inflict trauma), and he gets to help me write fanfiction.
In addition he gets to have my soul temporarily. He must give me back when he's had his turn.
I signed my name, as well as Mars' name too.
After the contract was finished I took a sewing needle and stuck it into my left wrist a bunch of times, trying to draw blood. However it didn't work. I told Mars, "I'm sorry, this is the best I can do. I couldn't even show you any blood."
Mars decided if that was the best I could do, then he'll take what he can get.
I fell asleep, and when I awoke I was with the safe Gods again. Poseidon, Buddha, and Mikey made sure I was alright.
In April of 2021 my psychic connection grew weaker and weaker until I could no longer hear them anymore. I would not hear from them again until another two years. Thus ends the first part of the story.
To be continued...