Phase 10: Radiation

For the few weeks following the surgery Barbara rested at home and being forbidden to lift anything heavier than the TV remote or a cup of tea with her left hand, as enforced by whomever happened to be keeping her company at the time. After the first couple of days the pain was more than low enough that she managed with only over the counter medicine. After a week she had a follow-up with Dr. Sterling who pronounced her healing beyond well and one with Dr. Coraline as well as one with the doctor who would be her radiologist, Dr. Wilson. Though Jim had a major test that day and couldn't go with her Barbara met him at the door with the results.

"Clear margins and my lymph nodes are clear!" she announced with a smile.

"Excellent!" Jim cheered, giving her a hug as he tossed his backpack by the stairs, then they headed into the kitchen. "And the radiation?"

"I'll start it the first of next month. That'll give me plenty of time to fully heal and my white blood cells to be at their proper levels." Barbara sat at the table while Jim fixed himself a snack. "Training today?"

"In a bit." Jim grabbed a soda and popped the tab. "Blinky said I could come home first to find out what you'd heard. He and the others are as interested in your care as I am."

"Tell them thank you for me, and that after this you should be considerably more free for your Trollhunter duties. Radiation has very few side effects and I'm thinking I can even go back to work as long as Dr. Coraline approves."

"Seriously?"

"Oh, yes. Radiation only takes about half an hour, give or take, and doesn't have side effects like chemotherapy does. Dr, Wilson said the worst should be something like a sunburn which makes sense, barring anything unexpected."

"I'm sure the hospital will be glad to have you back, mom. You're the best they have after all."

"Okay, mister," Barbara said in response to Jim's grin. "While I appreciate the sentiment, you're biased. Get to your training!" Jim just continued to grin and gave her another hug before heading out, finishing his soda as he went.

For a few moments Barbara sat at the table, cradling her cup in her hands. Then she leaned her head back and let her eyes closed, a big smile on her face.

Healer, become the patient. It's almost over.

As the month passed Barbara felt her strength return with each rising sun. Her sense of taste slowly reverted more to normal as it was no longer bombarded with chemotherapy drugs. Her dry skin ceased to itch and need lotion multiple times a day. Even a few strands of coppery hair made themselves visible on her scalp. There was only one big medical appointment to go to about the middle of the month, which she explained to Jim was called a Simulation.

"Basically," she told him the night before as he cooked, "it's a scan to pinpoint where they want to target the radiation. They'll tattoo three dots onto chest and under each arm, and then they'll have me run a mock-treatment so I won't be surprised when I actually do it. Something about how I'll have to breathe and hold my breath in cycles."

"Sounds more complicated that I thought." Jim raised his eyebrows.

"Tattoo?"

"Just like freckles, a few more war wounds in this battle."

"Draal really got it right, huh."

"He did." Absently Barbara rubbed her forearm where she had worn the bracers during her chemo treatments. "I'm so grateful to them all for what they've done."

"Me too. I don't know how much they did for me in Trollmarket but I get a feeling it was a lot. And a lot of the Trolls asked about you, how you were feeling or if they could help us." Jim gave a small laugh. "If only you'd seen them the first time I walked into Trollmarket! This is like a total one-eighty."

"I remember hearing about you and Draal's first few meetings. Both Toby and Claire really came through for us too."

"I've been thinking about doing something to thank them," admitted Jim.

"Like make a meal or cake or something."

"I think that would be very kind. I know Toby would love either, though I hope you don't intend to try and Troll cooking in the house."

"Not a chance! Socks aren't going anywhere near my pots and pans. They're expensive!" Mother and son shared a laugh and he concluded it by dishing up chicken parmesan for each of them, pasta included. It was a small celebration of the restoration of her taste buds which Barbara praised several times through the course of the meal and was, in her opinion, a small start in the return to her new normalcy.

Though her chemotherapy treatment had been performed at the secondary hospital's oncology building, due to her working at the main hospital she'd arranged for her radiation to be done there, before she went to work. It just made everything simpler. It was also where the simulation would be done. Though she entered through the main doors it was inevitable she saw people that she knew and they all wanted to talk to her at least briefly to say how much she was missed and how glad they were that she was recovering well. Barbara had given Laura permission to share some information with the others about her general well-being because she knew they'd ask and really the hospital team was like a family.

Arriving in the office Barbara signed in and waited for a few minutes before being called back where a nurse and Dr. Wilson greeted her.

"This shouldn't take more than an hour," the radiologist said after they'd greeted one another and she was led into the room which had its own CT scanner. "We'll first scan your chest, then compared that with your MIR images and the surgical reports to pinpoint exactly where we need to send the radiation, then use laser to guide where we should make the markers. That'll be the worst of it as I told you when we last spoke." Barbara nodded in understanding as the nurse handed her a gown to put on.

"And then the breathing simulation, correct?"

"Yes. Because you're cancer was in your left side we have to do everything we can to protect your heart from as much radiation as possible."

"Sounds good to me." She stepped into a nearby room to change and her belongings were secured in a locker, then the nurse helped her get situated on the CT's bed with her arms above her head.

This is starting to feel like old hat, she mused as the scan began, letting her eyes close. Soon enough the nurse returned and the bed was slid back out of the machine.

"Okay, stay laying down for me for a little longer. It's time to place the markers," he said. "This shouldn't hurt worse than a basic shot. I'll be applying three of them. Just hold still." Given that she was still laying down of course Barbara couldn't see him injecting the dye but it really was a very mild sting under each arm and one directly over where the tumor had been. "And done. Let's get you sat up, and you can cover up as well." He helped her up wish a supporting hand to her back and let her swing her legs off the side. Dr. Wilson returned at this point.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked with a smile and Barbara shook her head.

"I barely felt it."

"Good! No need to traumatize you after everything else you've gone through. Now we'll just let you experience the breath control. It can be a little starting the first time. We've also found patients do better with it first sitting up and then we'll lay you back down like you will be during the actual radiation treatment." While he'd been talking the nurse had been setting up a machine that was to the side of the CT, then gave Barbara a tube with a snorkel-like mouthpiece on the end that he'd removed from a sterile wrapper.

"Ever been scuba diving?" he asked as he handed it to her.

"Can't say that I have," she admitted, "but I have used a snorkel once or twice."

"Then this shouldn't be too weird for you. You'll close your lips over this part here so it's completely in your mouth, and your teeth will be around this piece here." He pointed to each in turn, careful not to touch it. "This first few times we'll have you take a couple normal breaths, then a deep one. When you breath in to the point on the monitor there - " He indicated a line on the monitor, over which was a green field. " - the machine will completely close off and you won't be able to breathe through the tube. You'll also be wearing a nose clip. You'll have to hold your breath for about fifteen seconds, though if at any point you find you can't for any reason you just release this button and the machine will open and the radiation will shut off." Barbara was very familiar with that type of control. She'd have to press it through the radiation treatment and the instant her thumb went lax everything would stop. It was similar in function but reverse in method to the bulb she'd held during her first MRI scan. Once more she nodded and settled the mouthpiece in place.

That's a little odd, she thought, adjusting her glasses that they'd returned to her so she could watch the monitor. The nose clip was carefully applied bu the nurse, and the machine powered up.

"I'll be in here for the first time, then I'll go into the other room and speak to you through the speaker, like it'll be for your treatments. Ready?" Barbara nodded. "Okay, breath in normally, and out. In, and out. Now deep breath!" Barbara drew in a long, deep breath, watching the monitor and its line rise towards the green.

Line and green met and with a palpable click-snap her air was cut off! She would've gasped in surprise if she could. Despite the warning it was more startling that she'd expected.

Fifteen seconds, just fifteen. I can do that. She tried to count the time down but seemed she was a little off as she'd only reached thirteen when the machine released and she could breathe again.

"You okay?" the nurse asked, and Barbara nodded. "Good. We'll do one more sitting up, then try laying down." When she signaled she was ready they did it again and she discovered that breathing in quickly on the third request made it easier when the machine cut her off. Then she tried it laying down with her arms up, holding to a bar set there for her hands to grip along with the button trigger. With the trick of the strong, deep breath having it cut her breath while she was laying down was easy as well.

"And we're done," Dr. Wilson said as he and the nurse came back in. The nurse removed her nose clip and gently took the mouthpiece out for her, disconnecting it to discard it in a biohazard container as she sat up. "You handled that very well."

"It was a little starting the first time," she admitted with a smile. "But I think I've got a handle on it now. A hard, deep breath before it cuts me off helps."

"That's good to hear. Well, you can get dressed and I'll see you at your first treatment."

"See you then."

I'm rather pleased with that, Barbara thought to herself as she got dressed and left the hospital. That was far simpler than I thought it would be. It really does feel like I'm on the home stretch at last.

Though when she returned to work the Friday before her first radiation treatment she still wore a scarf (far more comfortable she'd decided than the hot, itchy wig) she felt strong and capable. Her co-workers greeted her at the nurses' station with cheers and applause and a small cupcake/chips party in the employee break room. Her first day back was surprisingly easy, with no difficult patients. Barbara had a feeling they arranged that on purpose, in as much as such could be arranged in a hospital setting.

That following Monday she left for work a full hour early, just to give her time to complete her first radiation and get clocked in on time and she'd been warned that like her chemotherapy the first treatment would take the longest. A quick registration and a short rest in the waiting room later, Barbara was gowned up, had her glasses and purse on a chair in the room, and settling herself on the bed.

"Here's your button," the nurse told her, handing her the trigger, "and if you could hold onto that bar above your head for me." Barbara did as asked, holding bar and button with her right and her thumb ready to press. "Here's your mouthpiece as well." Perhaps it was because this wasn't the first time but it felt more comfortable to have between her teeth, and even the nose clip wasn't as annoying. "Comfortable?" Barbara nodded. "Alright. We'll be behind the window in the other room, but we'll be able to see you on a camera and if you need us to stop for any reason just release the button." She left, closing the door behind her and Barbara relaxed.

This should be by far the easiest thing. J get to just lay here and let everyone else do the work.

"Okay, go ahead and press the button," came the voice of one of the nurses over the speakers. Barbara did as requested, and a moment later heard the machine starting up with a whirring noise. "Now breath in, and out…" As she'd tried before Barbara took the third breath deep and hard, and when the machine cut her off she was prepared for it. After several hums of the beams two nurses entered to adjust the machine and Barbara's bed, then they left and the process repeated itself. Finally after one more adjustment and one more beam the machine powered down and the nurses came in to remove the clip and mouthpiece.

"You handled that like a trooper!" the one who'd first greeted her praised. "Anything uncomfortable?"

"Not in the slightest," answered Barbara as the bed was lowered and she swiveled around to slide off.

"Then you're free to go ahead and get dressed." Barbara smiled and picked up her things, heading into the changing room once more before going to the break room for the twenty minutes before her shift started.

I timed that well. Now, patient, become the healer again.