Shinji wasn't paying attention when he entered class the next morning and his eyes found Hikari's. The class rep smiled at him and in spite of himself, he smiled back. As he walked to his desk what he did last night came back to him, and he eased into his seat with a sigh. He glanced at the class rep and saw her busy with her responsibilities.

Stifling his lewd thinking made him glance at Ayanami's desk. She was absent again today.

Out of nowhere Toji clapped a hand on his shoulder and said, "Hey, you alright?"

"Uh? Ah, yeah!" Shinji replied hastily.

"Cool." Toji said, then put his hands on his hips. "You doing anything later?"

"Um… after school?"

"Yeah." Toji replied. He leaned forward and said, "Kensukes got it in his mind to head to New Yokosuka this afternoon. Some big military thing is happening and he wants me to go with him. You could come too, get out of the city and everything."

Shinji blinked. "Uhh…" he had to study. He had to make dinner. He couldn't say no to the only friends he ever had. "Well…. When would we be back?"

Toji leaned back up and shrugged. "Could take all day. You know how obsessive the guy is." When Shinji didn't answer then, Toji smirked and said, "Just think about it. If Miss Misato won't let you or anything, it's cool."

"Oh-okay." Shinji replied and Toji continued on his way. Shinji started thinking over this new issue.

Hikari watched this exchange but couldnt hear what they were talking about. Conflicted, she threw herself back into her class duties.

Hikari's distraction continued into lunch. Asuka noticed. "Hey, you awake?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry." The class rep responded and maneuvered her chopsticks in response. She gathered more food as she tried to think of an answer for Asuka. "Another rough night. Chores, cooking."

"Mhm." Asuka grunted and looked down at her meal. Hikari stared at Asuka for a second, thinking, No condolences from the girl who doesn't know anything about keeping house. Guilt immediately set in over judging her best friend and Eva pilot, making her feel worse.

When Hikari lowered her head, Asuka lifted hers. "Stop it!" Asuka commanded suddenly.

"Huh?"

"You're supposed to be more upbeat than this!" Asuka replied, "What happened to that energy being class rep? Suzuhara is waving a pair of panties at someone, are you going to stop him?!"

"What? Huh?" A confused Hikari said as he half stood to see if such a thing was happening.

Someone laughed. Asuka sighed, "Sit down."

When Hikari did so, she said, "Sorry. I didnt get much sleep either."

Asuka side eyed Hikari then said, "That's it, I've decided." She pointed at Hikari, "You and I are going shopping after school."

"What? Today? But…"

"You're not tutoring idiot Shinji, are you?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then we're going." Asuka said.

Hikari leaned back in her seat, taken aback at this intrusion in her schedule. She was already in trouble for yesterday, though she could probably still make it work. It would mean another late night of catch up.

She couldn't say no to Asuka though, not without a good reason. Doing anything to harm her friendship with Asuka might leave Hikari with no one to talk to, especially with Kodama studying. Hikari had been too busy for friendships that didn't seek her out.

Her eyes looked past Asuka to Shinji on the other side of the room. They lingered there before she remembered they shouldn't be, and her gaze dropped into her bento.

Maybe this outing would do her some good. Maybe spending time with Asuka would remind her heart that Shinji was already spoken for. So was she, in her own mind. Perhaps that needed reminding too.

The clack of the rails reminded Shinji too keenly of that late night when he ran away from home. The circumstances- lighting, company- were different this time, but it put him back there all the same. He wondered to himself if anything truly significant had changed since that night.

Easy, he thought, his friends. Shinji looked at them now to tune into their conversation.

Kensuke was examining his film rolls, trying to figure out which was which. "Stupid…" he grumbled.

Toji had been reclining against the plastic chair between them, hands behind his neck to prop his head up. "You did this to yourself, you know. You're the only teenager in the world who uses code to label his camera rolls."

"Hey," Kensuke hissed, "Some of this is tricky stuff. You know who else takes pictures of military equipment? Spies. I have to keep things not-obvious so I don't get into trouble!"

After a pause, Toji said, "You do realize spies are the kind of people who do that crap for the same reasons, right? Making you immediately suspicious!?"

Kensuke just grunted and muttered a response under his breath.

Toji turned his head npw to face Kensuke. "What do you have in there anyway? Evas? More girl pictures?"

Kensuke shushed Toji then. "If anyone finds out about that at school I'm gonna get suspended!"

Shinji perked up. "Girl pictures?"

Toji glanced at Shinji and then grunted while looking away. Toji had made it a point to avoid talking about this end of Kensuke's hobby, on the perception that Shinji was too innocent for that kind of thing.

Kensuke glanced up at Shinji and apparently had the same thought. "Uh, it's… nothing. I took some pictures of girls on the… Okinawa trip! The one you couldn't go on."

"...oh." A disappointed Shinji said, more about the lost trip than the beach pictures.

Kensuke, misreading Shinji's disappointment, glanced around the nearly empty rail car before uttering, "Well, you know, I took some… pictures while we were there."

"What?" Shinji asked.

"Oy." Toji grunted.

"What? There's nothing wrong with wanting to see cute girls in revealing outfits." Kensuke winced as he glanced at Toji, "Besides, i dont recall you having any objections at the time."

Toji grunted and looked away. Kensuke went on, "Anyway, it isn't anything you couldn't see with your own eyes at the right moment." Kensuke leaned towards Shinji and uttered, "I can show you some later. Consider it a consolation gift for missing out on the trip."

Shinji was caught off guard. Not only was he enticed by the thought of those kinds of pictures, but it also startled him knowing his friends might be just as lewd thinkers as he was. Guilt, the familiar chaser to these kinds of matters, hit him also. But he couldn't decide whether his friends were just as scummy as he was, or whether his own lecherous feelings weren't improper after all. This thinking stopped him from answering Kensuke right away.

Toji, on the other hand, swung a hand over to slap Kensuke on the shoulder. "Idiot, what makes you think he'd want to see those? He lives with Soryu and Misato, remember? If he wants to see a gorgeous girl he just needs to open his eyes!"

"Beach wear is more revealing." Kensuke said with a wink.

Shinji blinked and said nothing, since some glimpses he caught were… well… "ummm…. Maybe later…" Shinji uttered, still conflicted.

Kensuke caught his hesitance. "Nothing to be ashamed about. It's just peeping for the modern age."

Toji sighed. "Yeah, and also illegal."

"Well, you're not gonna rat me out are you?"

"Keep your voice down!" Toji rasped back, "You were the one who didn't want to get in trouble!"

Thinking of girls, Shinji wrestled with bringing up a question to hid friends but sighed and just let the conversation drop. He looked out the window as the train rolled by, trying to reconcile what he was feeling just now after discovering his friends might be as bad as he was. Did that make him… normal?

This shopping trip was supposed to cheer Hikari up, but the girl couldn't help feeling that maybe it was more for Asuka. The German was quite earnest getting them out of school and to the massive Tokyo-3 mall. It was an hour in and most of it was taken up with juding the things Asuka had picked out.

This wasn't to say the trip was entirely one-sided. Hikari had pulled a couple of shirts and some coveralls to wear, which she would buy with her modest allowance. But as the hour clicked over it occurred to Hikari that she lost count of the things Asuka had tried on.

Just then the door to the changing room opened. Asuka was wearing a loose, ruffled yellow tank with tan leggings, which showed off her thighs. " How does this look?"

Hikari gave it a once over. "It looks nice!" She replied, "and practical."

Asuka was looking into the mirror with a distracted expression, then brushed her hair with her fingers. Hikari saw this and wondered what Asuka was thinking. What was this trip really for?

"As…" Hikari started to say, but the redhead was already closeing the door again. Hikari fell silent and decided to drop the idea of speaking. She was still bothered, though.

When Asuka emerged she said, "I'm done here. Let's pay and get a snack!"

"Oh-kay!" Hikari replied.

Ten minutes later they were seated with their bags and ice cream overlooking the food court. As they ate, Hikari glanced around idly, her eyes resting on an older teenage couple on the lower level. Both westerners, the man had short dark hair, flecked with gray, while the woman had long dark hair bound in two long ponytails. As the woman touched her pink glasses to adjust them, somehow the scene reminded her of the library visit yesterday. Maybe because the lady looked like the kind of person who collected books.

Asuka spoke just then. "Mr. Kaji is going to take me out to dinner tonight, we're going to Waves!"

So that's what this is about. Hikari thought. She had learned to push past Asuka's fixation on the much older man for the sake of their friendship, and did so again. She focused on the venue. "Waves? That's that fancy restaurant on lake Ashi, isn't it?"

Asuka bobbed her head enthusiastically. "I've wanted to go since learning about it. You've never been there?"

"No."

Asuka tittered, excited, "This is going to be so fun!"

Hikari didn't know what to say to that, except when her caregiving aspects kicked in. She was also still thinking of Shinji. "Have you told Ikari you're going? He would probably appreciate knowing you're not home for dinner."

Asuka grunted and slid her eyes sideways. It occurred to Hikari then that it must not have crossed Asuka's mind. So instead, the girl played it off lightly. "He'll figure it out." She said dismissively, "I don't have to tell him everything."

Hikari felt a note of indignation on Shinji's behalf. "It would be the considerate thing to do though. Doesn't he have a cell phone?"

"He never has it on." Asuka half-heartedly replied, but she was looking into the distance as she spoke.

Hikari debated about pressing the point. Something in her wanted to. "You could leave a message at least. Then he has an explanation when you don't come home for dinner."

Asuka's eyes focused on Hikari then, mid-lick to her ice cream. She drew her face away from it to say, "If he's so concerned, then he should call me."

"You want him to call you during dinner?" Hikari pointed out without thinking. That made Asuka's eyes drop to the table and sigh through her nose with irritation.

"I'll call him later then." Asuka sighed.

Hikari wanted to press Asuka to do it now, but decided this was enough. She was about to return to her ice cream when Asuka suddenly asked, "Are you getting anywhere tutoring him?"

"Huh? Oh, yes! That is going well." Hikari replied.

Asuka's eyes lingered on Hikari for a moment before they dropped as she licked her ice cream. Then she said, "It's got to be annoying though. He's such a terrible student. He never puts his heart into anything he does."

Hikari blinked with a little surprise, as that had not been her experience so far. She couldn't contradict Asuka though. "I suppose he does have a problem being decisive…"

Asuka licked. "The only thing I've seen him being decisive about is piloting, and that's only because he's desperate to impress his daddy. Otherwise, he's just pathetic." Asuka licked again, "He's the kind of person who just lets life happen to him otherwise. Can't and won't be bothered to decide anything for himself. If anything great happens to him, it's purely by accident."

Hikari looked from Asuka's ice cream to her face and back again in order to stop staring. Clearly Asuka was aware of Shinji's issues with his father, but she apparently wasn't aware how much it affected him.

Or did she not care?

"Oh…" was all Hikari could say after that, grappling with the thought of how dismissive Asuka was to something, Hikari learned, was pretty important to Shinji. If these two were the "newlyweds" like some of the class believed, based on how much they argued, shouldn't they be more sensitive to each other's needs too?

Besides, it didn't seem Asuka was willing to acknowledge Shinji's better qualities.

After devouring the last of her ice cream, Asuka got up, stretched and said, "Okay, let's look at makeup!"

"All right… " Hikari said to Asuka's back.

The overlook Kensuke selected was fairly gusty, but they had a clear view of the harbor from this vantage point. Kensuke's camera, of course, was trained on the boats.

"That's gotta be the Kirov," the military Otaku uttered, " But what's a deep water recovery vehicle doing here? I haven't heard anything about a loss at sea…"

Some distance back along the fence, Toji leaned against it with his arms crossed. Shinji had both hands on the rails as he tried, occasionally, to make out the grey shapes. He couldn't tell one from the other at this distance.

Bored, he decided to venture a conversation with Toji. "Ah, Toji… how's your paper going?"

Toji sucked in a breath as he turned his thinking away from wondering where he was going to find dinner that night. Then realizing he hadn't made much progress on his paper, got defensive. "Uh, just fine. Why do you want to know?"

"I was just curious, sorry. I was wondering if my subject was any good."

Toji thought about it, glanced over at Kensuke who had been helping with it, then said, "Uh… I picked how the first impact affected the FIBA."

"What's that?"

"Some French acronym. World basketball league."

Shinji, in spite of himself, smirked at Tojis stereotypical selection. "Really?"

"Hey," Toji toned, "I had a hard time choosing, lay off."

"Sorry."

"Anyways, it's a pretty big thing. It's the only national sport competition that kept up through the international wars. Even the Olympics were disrupted those years, so there's a lot of stuff going on when all that was happening."

Shinji blinked with surprise. "I didn't know about that."

"Yeah, I didn't either until I got some help." Toji said and pointed a thumb over at Kensuke.

The otaku said from behind his recorder, "I still think you should go to the class rep for help."

"And let her find out how behind I am? Hell no." Toji replied. "I can handle it, I just need time. Besides, you're helping me enough. All she would do is scream my ear off about how i'm a terrible student."

Based on his experiences with the class rep so far, Shinji wouldn't think so, but he wasn't sure if he should tell that to Toji. Maybe if he wanted to be a good friend… "Um, she's not that bad, actually."

Toji looked at him. "That's right, she's tutoring you isn't she? You poor soul."

"I…. Uh…" Shinji replied. "No, It's actually… nice working with her!"

As Toji glanced at Shinji, Kensuke interjected, "She's just going easier on you Ikari because you're not a class delinquent like Toji."

"What?"

Toji grunted. "No, it's not that." He glanced at Kensuke to say, "To her I'm just some charity case. She gives me her leftovers sometimes, so I know she takes pity on me."

Kensuke adjusted his camera then said, "It's Not every day a girl gives you free, handmade meals, you know."

Toji looked over at Kensuke. "Not everyday a girl volunteers to tutor you personally, too. So what?"

Shinji's eyes dipped to the ground for another round of contemplation. It didn't occur to him that there would be some other motive for Hikari to volunteer tutoring him. For some reason, he liked the idea that she was doing this to get close to him. Then he remembered what she said to him yesterday and started to blush.

Toji went on, "Anyway, let's drop it. I want to talk about something else."

While Kensuke went on about the ships and vessels he saw, Shinji turned away from the harbor to lean against the rails. His eyes went into the distance, towards Tokyo-3.

Hikari's eyes scanned the eastern range of mountains as she and Asuka were topside, headed home, bags under their arms. They were walking towards the suburbs where both of them lived.

Asuka said then, "When's the next time you're tutoring Shinji?"

"Tuesday." Hikari replied, "Every Tuesday and Thursday until his grades improve." After a few steps Hikari said, "Speaking of which, you should call him."

Asuka grunted and said, "I'll tell him when I get home."

"Oh." Hikari said and left it at that.

The two walked in silence until they separated to go to each other's houses. Hikari wished Asuka a vague good luck for dinner, then turned to go to her house.

Passing through the doorway she sighed as all of the evening's responsibilities landed on her shoulders. There were things she could skip- cleaning mostly, and caring for the house. Then there were things she couldn't skip, and those she had to do now while there was time during the day.

After putting her things away she set about doing these things in the house. She was silent as she worked, preferring to concentrate in the silence of the house to contrast the business of the school day.

It didnt seem like Asuka was appreciative of Shinji after all.

With how much they fought and worked together Hikari would have assumed, like the rest of class, that there was something between them. Even early on, Hikari had done her part to nudge the two together by sending the clueless Shinji after Asuka. But lately It seemed all Asuka had were complaints and evasion about Shinji. What was wrong? Unless, perhaps, Asuka had given up on Shinji...

Why was that giving Hikari a sense of relief?

As she washed dishes she ran a splayed hand under some cold water to think. Then it hit her: only she knew about Ikari's inner feelings and concerns… Asuka didn't. She was oblivious to the gravity of Shinji's feelings about his father and why it was important to him. Instead Asuka chose to mock him.

Hikari stared ambivalently into the running water, posessed with the knowledge that she knew something special about the boy she was coming to like... and his supposed other half didnt.

It was enticing to think about.

Shinji passed through the door to Misato's apartment and slipped his shoes off. "I'm home!" He announced, then stepped into the entry hall.

Rounding the corner into the kitchen he was startled to find Asuka standing there, back to him, holding the phone and dressed in house clothes. He was about to greet her and ask why she didn't say anything at the door, but stopped as he noticed her rigid posture. He knew this meant she was angry. "Asuka?" He uttered.

Her head turned slightly in his direction but he still couldn't see her eyes. "What do you want?" She asked in a low tone.

"Um… nothing." He said. He took a small step forward. "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing." Asuka said and slammed the phone on the receiver before her wide strides carried her from the room.

Shinji, stunned for a moment, just stared at the exit to the room before looking at the phone. It had a message on it. Shinji hit play.

"Asuka, it's Kaji. Something last minute has come up and I'm going to have to reschedule. I'm sorry this is coming so late, please forgive me."

The clattering of the receiver in the recording sounded a little more harsh than it needed to, but Shinji's shoulders sank. No wonder Asuka was in a mood.

Sighing since there was nothing he could do about it, he set out to make dinner. Working with the ingredients reminded him of the shopping trip he took yesterday. He couldn't imagine Hikari getting this irrational over a boy. She's more mature than that, he thought, and sensible. At least, based on his interactions with her. In his mind he also couldn't imagine Ayanami behaving that way either. Or Misato… maybe.

He grunted to himself as he realized he was ruminating on girls again. Not that this was a problem in itself, but it was considerably easier to do so when he lived at a distance from them. He would always have his wishes and desires with the unspoken certainty that he would never be able to act on them. Now he was surrounded by girls he interacted with every day. And he could never be honest with his feelings for any of them, because of what he knew would result: shock, ridicule, rejection.

He sighed again.

Shinji felt Penpen's bowl nudge against his leg, which brought him out of his thinking. "Oh, sorry." Shinji said and set about giving the penguin his supper.

He heard Asuka's footsteps as he returned to the stove. When he glanced in her direction he had to do a double take.

Her blue crop top shirt and shorts had certainly snagged his attention. The only other time he saw this much of her skin was the red and white bikini.

Her eyes snapped to him. "What are you looking at?" She asked angrily.

"Ah! Sorry!" Shinji replied and bowed over his cooking.

Asuka stepped to the bathroom door and asked flatly, "What are you making for dinner?"

"Uh," Shinji said without turning around, "Beans and rice. With Chicken."

Asuka grunted. "Of course." She said, sighed, and pushed through the folding door into the batbroom.

Shinji side-eyed the bathroom door over his shoulder, then sighed with irritation as he continued making dinner. Once again she was judging his cooking and implying it was inferior. But how could he clap back at her, when her plans for a nice dinner were canceled? That would be inconsiderate.

He wondered what the class rep was making now… It was probably better and more involved than the simple thing he was slapping together. Remembering the spices Hikari handed him, he kicked himself for not making Vegitable soup instead.

If he was better, maybe his cooking could have made up for Asuka's canceled plans. Would she even appreciate the attempt though? Or like everything else, would it go completely unnoticed?

He finished making dinner dissatisfied with the result. It was barebones. It was not much better than a freezer meal. Asuka had every right to be disappointed.

She emerged then, and Shinji was already sitting down with a bowl. "Dinners ready." Shinji said with a note of disappointment in his tone.

Asuka acknowledged with a grunt as she moved in the kitchen and got her bowl, slipped her fork out of the drying rack, and stared into the pot. She sighed as she scooped out food and sat beside him at the table. Glancing at him, she saw the downcast look on his face. "What's wrong with you?"

"What?"

She sighed angrily, "Why am I surrounded by miserable people today? This is so depressing."

Shinji considered his response as he looked at her, but before he could muster the courage to voice his regret, the front door opened. "I'm home!" Misato's voice sang into the apartment.

"Welcome home." The kids responded flatly.

Misato rounded the corner to see a pissed off Asuka and a despondent Shinji. Setting her mouth in a flat line she realized already it was going to be hard trying to cheer the kids up. Her carefree self was going to try anyway and smiled. "Dinner smells delicious, Shinji!"

Asuka scowled. "It's the most basic sustenance anyone can make other than oatmeal. You're getting excited about that?"

Misato spoke as she walked through the kitchen, "After an entire afternoon of nothing but protein bars, I'll take any home cooked meal."

Shinji caught on that this suggested she had a rough evening. "Did something happen?"

"Nothing to worry about." Misato dismissed with a hand wave as she stopped in the arch into the living room. She went on, "A mountain of paperwork and appropriations." She craned her head back a little. "Sync test scheduled for tomorrow. Don't forget."

"Okay!" Both kids said and Misato disappeared from sight.

The teens are quietly for another moment. Shinji found his courage again. "Asuka, I'm s-"

"Don't say it." Asuka replied, finishing the last of her meal. She stood and rounded the kitchen table to put her bowl and fork in the sink. Heading for her room, she turned her head to lock eyes with him as her step slowed.

Shinji blinked as he stared back and wondered what she was doing.

But the moment passed and she closed her eyes while walking for the hallway. Just before she slipped out of sight, he said, "Asuka!"

She stopped without facing him.

"I… I'll try to cook better. I know this wasn't a replacement for…"

He wasn't sure how far to specify in earshot of Misato, and Asuka's utter lack of response made him pause. After a second she kept walking, and Shinji heard her door close.

He was left alone in the kitchen.

Hikari lay in the dark upon her bed, staring up at the ceiling with her eyes half closed.

Sleep wouldn't come. She was too restless over what she was going to do tomorrow. How was she going to continue advancing this plan to get closer to Suzuhara? Did she even want that anymore?

No, of course she did. She wanted to get to know Suzuhara ever since hearing about how he cares for his sister. She needed that kind of compassion in her life, and it didn't hurt that he was handsome too.

And… Shinji…?

She sighed and rolled on her side. What was this, loneliness? Was she so desperate that she would chase after the latest boy that caught her attention? This didn't feel like promiscuity, but what was it otherwise?

Her fingers closed on the bedsheets. A part of her thought this whole thing was ridiculous. She was too busy for a relationship, where did she think she was going to have the time for anything fun? How could she possibly entertain anyone when her schedule was so full?

She wished she could talk to Kodama. Or someone. Someone to help her how to navigate these feelings and just… ground her. There was Asuka, but Asuka was part of the problem!

She rolled and grabbed her spare pillow, hugging it to herself. She had no one. That's why she needed someone, but not just anyone.

She was left alone in her quiet room.

a/n: I'm of the belief that Hikari and Toji getting together is kind of the result of circumstance. Though Hikari likes him, Toji is completely oblivious to Hikari's pining until hes at his absolute lowest and can pay direct attention to her. Without that, he could have interpreted things differently when things were normal, which is what is happening here.

Asuka does like Shinji, but as in-series and how well see in the fic, she lets her pride and desires get in the way of being on the level with him. Shes still posessed by what she thinks she wants, while Hikari is maneuvering closer...

theres still some buildup to go.