We're Wizards, Not Warriors: What If
Volume 7:
Chapter 14: Revelations and Space Ports
We then see Obi Wan and his family's home.
Obi Wan, Sam and the others were all approaching the house.
Luke asked, "this is your house?"
"Yes", Sam said.
R2 and Lola beeped.
Sam exclaimed, "we're home!"
Bendy and Satine suddenly burst out of the house and tackled Sam to the ground.
Sam let out a laugh of joy as he hugged his little brother and sister.
He said, "good to see you two."
"Big brother", Bendy and Satine giggled.
Sam chuckled as he got to his feet with the two in his arms.
Bendy and Satine noticed Luke.
Bendy asked, "who's the blonde guy?"
"Oh, this is Luke", Sam said.
"I think it's best we head inside, so we can better explain things", Obi Wan said.
The group went inside to see Ventress making lunch for the kids.
"Oh my love and Sam you're back…. And it looks like you brought a guest", Ventress said.
Sam said, "quite a few. Meet Luke, Threepio, Artoo and Lola."
"Master Sam! You're back!"
Sam was then tackled by KeeKee.
One-One and NED-B came over as Sam chuckled.
NED-B helped Sam up.
"Man, do you have a lot of family", Luke said.
Sam said, "that ain't a bad thing. And plus, this ain't even all of them."
"SAM!"
Sam's lovers tackled him to the ground.
Sam giggled as he hugged his lovers.
Luke was wide-eyed.
Luke asked, "is he…. You know?"
NED-B said, "those are his husbands and wife."
"Not yet…. Technically", One-One said.
Sam said, "Luke, meet my girlfriend and boyfriends. Verosika, Hordak, Prime, Alastor, Lucifer and Adam."
Luke just waved his hand.
Sam's lovers all waved hello.
"This is awkward", Luke muttered.
….
A few minutes later….
Luke was fixing C3-P0.
"No, my father didn't fight in the wars. He was a navigator on a spice freighter", Luke said.
Obi Wan said, "that's what your uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's ideals. Thought he should have stayed here and not gotten involved."
Luke asked, "you fought in the Clone Wars?"
Ventress said, "we both did."
Obi Wan said, "yes. Ventress was a Sith turned Jedi. And I was once a Jedi Knight, the same as your father."
Luke said, "I wish I'd known him."
Sam had a sad look on his face at the mention of…. Anakin.
"He was the best star-pilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior", Obi Wan said, "and he was a good friend…."
Sam smiled at the more pleasant memories of his biological father.
"I understand you've become quite a good pilot yourself", Obi Wan said to Luke.
Luke gave a shy smile.
Obi Wan chuckled, when he remembered something.
"Which reminds me….", Obi Wan said as he stood up and went to a chest where he rummaged around. As Luke finishes repairing C3-P0 and starts to fit the restraining bolt back on, C3-P0 looks at him nervously. Luke thinks about the bolt for a moment then puts it on the table. Obi Wan shuffles up and presents Luke with a short handle with several electronic gadgets attached to it.
"I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damned-fool idealistic crusade like your father did", Obi Wan said.
C3-P0 said, "sir, if you'll not be needing me, I'll close down for a while."
Luke said, "sure, go ahead."
Obi Wan hands Luke the saber.
Luke asked, "what is it?"
"Your fathers lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster", Obi Wan explained.
Luke pushes a button on the handle. A long beam shoots out about four feet and flickers there. The light plays across the ceiling.
"An elegant weapon for a more civilized time. For over a thousand generations the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times, before the Empire", Obi Wan said in a grim tone.
Luke deactivates the weapon, sits down and asks, "how did my father die?"
Sam and Obi Wan glanced at one another. They knew the truth would haunt Luke.
"A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Jedi are all but extinct", Obi Wan said.
Luke slowly took all this in.
Sam hugged his father.
Obi Wan smiled as he hugged Sam and said, "it amazes me how you're the spitting image of your father, Sam."
Sam smiled warmly at his father.
Luke said in shock, "wait, what did you just say!?"
The others all went wide-eyed.
Obi Wan and Sam knew it was time to tell the truth.
Sam said, "Luke…. I'm your brother…."
Luke eyes went wide.
Sam was his brother?!
"Also, you are the oldest and I am the younger brother", Sam said.
Luke was still quite shocked.
Sam asked, "uh, Luke?"
Luke then hugged Sam.
Sam went wide-eyed, but smiled as he returned the hug.
Everyone smiled at this.
Luke asked, "but why…. Didn't you or Ben tell me the truth before?"
Obi Wan said, "it was best to keep you both hidden from Vader, lest he tempt you with the dark side of the force."
Luke asked, "the force?"
"Well, the Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together", Obi Wan explained.
Sam gave an example by calling a jogan fruit into his hand.
Then Antlers emerged from Sam's head.
Sam said, "dammit."
He then quickly drank an elixir.
The antlers then disappeared.
Luke asked, "what the heck was that?"
Sam said, "long story short, I've got a curse from a crystal that makes me turn into a strange beast if I don't drink these elixirs."
"Woah, that sounds scary", Luke said.
Sam said, "it was, but luckily; I can keep control in my form now. It comes in handy for certain occasions."
Luke asked, "like fighting?"
Sam said, "among other things."
Verosika and the boyfriends all smirked.
Luke looked confused.
Ventress said, "perhaps we should move on?"
R2 and Lola let out beeps.
"Now, let's see if we can't figure out what you are, my little friend. And where you come from", Obi-Wan said.
"I saw part of the message he was….", Luke said.
"I seem to have found it", Obi-Wan said
Luke is cut short as the recorded image of the beautiful young Rebel princess is projected from Artoo's face. Luke stops his work as the lovely girl's image flickers before his eyes.
Leia said, "General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. And then, you and your son rescued me from the Empire. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this Artoo unit, and sent Lola as an escort. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see the Astromech droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi Wan and Sam Kenobi, you're my only hope."
There is a little static and the transmission is cut short.
Obi Wan leans back and scratches his head as Ventress pats his shoulder. Sam glanced around. Luke has stars in his eyes.
'Oh no, this can't be good', Sam thought
Obi Wan said, "Luke, you must learn the ways of the Force if you're to come with us to Alderaan."
Luke asked, "Alderaan? I'm not going to Alderaan. I've got to go home. It's late, I'm in for it as it is."
Obi Wan said, "we need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing."
Satine said, "you're not that old, daddy."
Obi Wan pats his daughter's head.
Luke said, "I can't get involved! I've got work to do! It's not that I like the Empire. I hate it! But there's nothing I can do about it right now. It's such a long way from here."
Obi Wan said, "that's your uncle talking."
Luke said, "oh, force, my uncle. How am I ever going to explain this?"
Obi Wan said, "learn about the force, Luke."
"Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you're going", Luke said.
Obi Wan said, "you must do what you feel is right, of course."
"My father is right, Luke", Sam said.
The others all nodded.
Luke had a conflicted look on his face.
….
An Imperial Star Destroyer heads toward the evil planet-like battle station: the Death Star!
….
Eight Imperial senators and generals sit around a black conference table. Imperial stormtroopers stand guard around the room.
Commander Tagge, a young, slimy-looking general, is speaking, "until this battle station is fully operational we are vulnerable. The Rebel Alliance is too well equipped. They're more dangerous than you realize."
The bitter Admiral Motti twists nervously in his chair, "dangerous to your starfleet, Commander, not to this battle station!"
"The Rebellion will continue to gain support in the Imperial Senate as long as….", Tagge said.
Suddenly all heads turn as Commander Tagge's speech is cut short and the Grand Moff Tarkin, governor of the Imperial outland regions, enters. He is followed by his powerful ally, the Sith Lord, Darth Vader. All of the generals stand and bow before the thin, evil-looking governor as he takes his place at the head of the table. The Dark Lord stands behind him.
Tarkin said, "the Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I've just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away."
Tagge said, "that's impossible! How will the Emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy?"
Tarkin said, "the regional governors now have direct control over territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station."
Tagge asked, "and what of the Rebellion? If the Rebels have obtained a complete technical readout of this station, due to Krenic's failure on the planet, it is possible, however unlikely, that they might find a weakness and exploit it."
Vader said, "the plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands."
Motti said, "any attack made by the Rebels against this station would be a useless gesture, no matter what technical data they've obtained. This station is now the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it!"
Vader said, "don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force."
"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you enough clairvoyance to find the Rebel's hidden fort-", Motti said.
Suddenly Motti chokes and starts to turn blue under Vader's spell.
Vader growled, "I find your lack of faith disturbing."
Tarkin ordered, "enough of this! Vader, release him!"
Vader said, "as you wish."
The choking stopped as Tarkin said, "this bickering is pointless. Lord Vader will provide us with the location of the Rebel fortress by the time this station is operational. We will then crush the Rebellion with one swift stroke."
….
Back on Tatooine….
The speeder stops before what remains of the huge Jawas Sandcrawler. Luke and Obi Wan walk among the smoldering rubble and scattered bodies.
Sam muttered, "dear Lord…. What monsters did this…."
Lola sat down on Sam's shoulder.
"It looks like Sandpeople did this, alright. Look, here are sticks, Bantha tracks. It's just…. I never heard of them hitting anything this big before", Luke said.
Obi Wan is crouching in the sand studying the tracks.
"They didn't. But we are meant to think they did. These tracks are side by side. Sand People always ride single file to hide their numbers", Obi Wan said.
Luke said, "these are the same Jawa's that sold us Artoo and Threepio."
Sam said, "and those blast marks…. Sand People don't shoot so coordinated…. They look like Imperial stormtrooper blasts. I would know, a friend of ours is a former stormtrooper."
Luke asked, "why would Imperial troops want to slaughter Jawa's?"
Luke looks back at the speeder where C3-P0 and R2 are inspecting the dead Jawas, and puts two and two together.
"If they traced the droid here, they may have learned who they sold them to. And that would lead them back…. Home….", Luke said.
Luke reaches a sudden horrible realization, then races for the speeder and jumps it.
Obi Wan yelled, "wait, Luke! It's too dangerous!"
Sam yelled, "Luke! Stop!"
Luke races off leaving Obi Wan, Sam and the three droids alone with the burning Sandcrawler.
….
Luke races across the wasteland in his battered Landspeeder.
….
The speeder roars up to the burning homestead. Luke jumps out and runs to the smoking holes that were once his home. Debris is scattered everywhere and it looks as if a great battle has taken place.
"Uncle Owen! Aunt Beru! Uncle Owen", Luke called out.
Luke stumbles around in a daze looking for his aunt and uncle. Suddenly he comes upon their smoldering remains. He is stunned, and cannot speak. Hate replaces fear and a new resolve comes over him.
….
Two stormtroopers open an electronic cell door and allow several Imperial guards to enter. Princess Leia's face is filled with defiance, which slowly gives way to fear as a giant black torture robot enters, followed by Darth Vader and Darth Alatu.
Alatu said, "and now, your Highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden Rebel base."
The torture robot gives off a steady beeping sound as it approaches Princess Leia and extends one of its mechanical arms bearing a large hypodermic needle.
Vader tried to step forward and say, "wait a minute…."
Alatu looked at Vader with annoyance.
He growled, "what is it…."
Leia trembled in fear at the sound of Alatus' angry voice.
Vader said, "perhaps there is a less harsh means of getting her to talk?"
Leia and even the Imperial officers were shocked as well.
Alatu growled, "why the sudden compassion?"
Vader froze as he tried to think of something to say.
Alatu asked, "well?!"
Darth Vader then managed to say something….
"It's not right."
That answer shocked everyone in the room.
Vader was saying…. It's not right?
Since when did Vader become…. Compassionate? He was known for being a cruel and ruthless man.
Alatu growled, "what's with this nonsense? You're a Sith Lord. Act like one!"
Vader felt mixed in that feeling.
Alatu growled, "you don't make the orders here; I do!"
The torture droid began to approach Leia
The door slides shut and the long cell block hallway appears peaceful. The muffled screams of the Rebel princess are barely heard.
….
Back on Tatooine….
There is a large bonfire of Jawa bodies blazing in front of the Sandcrawler as Obi Wan, Sam and the droids finish burning the dead. Luke drives up in the speeder, Obi Wan and Sam walk over to him.
Sam notices the solemn look his brother holds and gives him a hug.
Obi Wan said, "there's nothing you could have done, Luke, had you been there. You'd have been killed, too, and the droids would be in the hands of the Empire."
Luke looks at Obi Wan and Sam and says, "I want to come with you and your family to Alderaan. There's nothing here for me now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like our father."
Sam and Obi Wan smiled at Luke.
….
Luke's landspeeder with Luke, R2, Lola, C3-P0, Verosika, Adam and Obi Wan in it zooms across the desert alongside another speeder with Sam, Ventress, Satine, One-One, Lucifer, Prime, Alastor, Hordak, Bendy and NED-B in it. The speeders stop on a bluff overlooking the spaceport at Mos Eisley. It is a haphazard array of low, gray, concrete structures and semi-domes. A harsh gale blows across the stark canyon floor. Luke adjusts his goggles and walks to the edge of the craggy bluff where Obi Wan, Ventress and Sam are standing.
Obi Wan said, "Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
Ventress said, "we had our honeymoon here."
Sam said, "be that as it may, we must be cautious."
Obi Wan looks over at Luke, who gives the old Jedi a determined smile.
….
Luke's speeder is stopped on a crowded street by several combat-hardened stormtroopers who look over the two robots. The other speeder was right behind them.
A Trooper questions Luke, "how long have you had these droids?"
Luke said, "about three or four seasons."
Obi Wan said, "they're for sale if you want them."
The trooper said, "let me see your identification."
Luke becomes very nervous as he fumbles to find his ID while Obi Wan speaks to the Trooper in a very controlled voice.
He says, "you don't need to see his identification."
The trooper said, "we don't need to see his identification."
Obi Wan said, "these are not the droids you're looking for."
The trooper said, "these are not the droids we're looking for."
Obi Wan said, "he can go about his business."
The trooper said, "you can go about your business."
Obi Wan said, "move along."
The trooper said, "move along. Move along."
Both speeders moved along.
The speeders pull up in front of a rundown blockhouse cantina on the outskirts of the spaceport. Various strange forms of transport, including several unusual beasts of burden, are parked outside the bar. A Jawa runs up and begins to fondle the speeders.
"I can't abide these Jawas. Disgusting creatures", C3-P0 said.
NED-B asked, "anyone else think that sounded offensive?"
As Luke gets out of the speeder he tries to shoo the Jawa away.
"Go on, go on. I can't understand how we got by those troopers. I thought we were dead", Luke said.
"The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded. You will find it a powerful ally", Obi Wan said
Sam said, "long story short; Jedi mind tricks work on idiots."
Luke asked, "do you really think we're going to find a pilot here that'll take us to Alderaan?"
Ventress said, "on Mos Eisley, most definitely."
Obi Wan said, "well, most of the best freighter pilots can be found here. Only watch your step. This place can be a little rough."
Luke said, "I'm ready for anything."
Bendy said, "that's what they all say."
C3-P0 said, "come along, Artoo."
The group enters the smoke-filled cantina. The murky, moldy den is filled with a startling array of weird and exotic alien creatures and monsters at the long metallic bar. At first the sight is horrifying. One-eyed, thousand-eyed, slimy, furry, scaly, tentacled, and clawed creatures huddle over drinks. Obi Wan and Ventress move to an empty spot at the bar near a group of repulsive but human scum. A huge, rough-looking Bartender stops Luke and the droids.
He growls, "hey! We don't serve their kind here!"
Luke, still recovering from the shock of seeing so many outlandish creatures, doesn't quite catch the bartender's drift.
Luke asked, "what?"
The bartender said, "your droids. They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here!"
One-One said, "hey! That's prejudice against droids!"
Lola beeped in agreement.
Luke looks at Obi Wan who is busy talking to one of the Galactic pirates. He notices several of the gruesome creatures along the bar are giving him a very unfriendly glare.
"Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble", Luke said.
Sam said, "maybe Satine should wait with them as well. This ain't no place for a kid."
NED-B said, "not to worry, I shall guard the droids and Satine outside."
"Thank you NED-B", Sam said.
"Careful big brother", Satine said as she hugged Sam.
Sam said, "I will, sweety. I promise."
Sam kissed his little sister's forehead.
The droids go outside and most of the creatures at the bar go back to their drinks.
Obi Wan is standing next to Chewbacca, an eight-foot-tall brown furred creature with fierce baboon-like fangs. His large blue eyes dominate a fur-covered face and soften his otherwise awesome appearance. Over his matted, furry body he wears two chrome bandoliers, and little else. He is a two-hundred-year-old Wookiee and a sight to behold.
Sam and Obi Wan speak to the Wookiee, pointing to Luke several times during their conversation and the huge creature suddenly lets out a horrifying laugh. Luke is more than a little bit disconcerted and pretends not to hear the conversation between Obi Wan, his brother and the giant Wookiee.
Luke is terrified but tries not to show it. He quietly sips his drink, looking over the crowd for a more sympathetic ear or whatever.
A large creature named Ponda Baba gives Luke a rough shove.
Ponda Baba, "Negola dewaghi wooldugger?!"
The hideous freak is obviously drunk. Luke tries to ignore the creature and turns back on his drink. A short, grubby alien named Dr. Evezan and an even smaller rodent-like beast join the belligerent monstrosity.
"He doesn't like you", Dr. Evezan said.
"I'm sorry", Luke said.
"I don't like you either", Dr. Evezan said.
Ponda Baba is getting agitated and yells out some unintelligible gibberish at the now rather nervous, young adventurer.
"Don't insult us. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence in twelve systems", Dr. Evezan said.
Luke said, "I'll be careful then."
Dr. Evezan growled, "you'll be dead."
The rodent lets out a loud grunt and everything at the bar moves away. Luke tries to remain cool but it isn't easy. His three adversaries ready their weapons. Obi Wan and Sam move in behind Luke.
Obi Wan said, "this little one isn't worth the effort."
Sam said, "come, let us buy you something…."
A powerful blow from the unpleasant Ponda Baba sends Luke sailing across the room, crashing through tables and breaking a large jug filled with a foul-looking liquid. With a blood curdling shriek, the monster draws a wicked chrome laser pistol from his belt and levels it at Obi Wan and Sam. The bartender panics.
The bartender yelled, "no blasters! No blasters!"
With astounding agility, Obi Wan's saber sparks to life and in a flash an arm lies on the floor. The rodent is cut in two, and Ponda is missing his arm. Obi Wan carefully and precisely turns off his laser sword and replaces it on his utility belt.
Sam growls, "get outta here before we slice off your balls."
Dr. Evezan drags Ponda away.
Luke, shaking and totally amazed at the old man's abilities, attempts to stand. The entire fight lasted only a matter of seconds. The cantina goes back to normal, although Obi Wan is given a respectable amount of room at the bar. Luke, rubbing his bruised head, approaches the old man with new awe. Sam points at the Wookiee and says, "this is Chewbacca. He's the first-mate on a ship that might suit our needs."
….
Outside….
C3-P0 paces in front of the cantina, R2 and Lola are having a chat.
NED-B is holding Satine close to make sure she was safe and guarded.
A creature comes out of the cantina and approaches two stormtroopers in the street.
"I don't like the look of this", C3-P0 said.
….
Inside...
Some aliens play exotic big band music on odd-looking instruments as Luke, still giddy, downs a fresh drink and follows Obi Wan, Sam, his lovers, Ventress, Bendy and Chewbacca to a booth where Han Solo is sitting. Han is a tough, roguish starpilot about thirty years old. A mercenary on a starship, he is simple, sentimental, and cocksure.
"Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells me you're looking for passage to the Alderaan system", Han said.
Obi Wan said, "yes, indeed. If it's a fast ship."
Han said, "fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?"
Sam asked, "should we have?"
Han said, "it's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs!"
Obi Wan, Ventress and Sam react to Solo's stupid attempt to impress them with obvious misinformation.
Han said, "I've outrun Imperial starships, not the local bulk-cruisers, mind you. I'm talking about the big Corellian ships now. She's fast enough for you. What's the cargo?"
Obi Wan said, "only passengers. Myself, my wife here, the three boys, the woman and men behind us, my daughter, five droids, and no questions asked."
Han asked, "what is it? Some kind of local trouble?"
"Let's just say we'd like to avoid any Imperial entanglements", Sam said.
"Well, that's the trick, isn't it? And it's going to cost you something extra. Ten thousand in advance", Han said.
"Ten thousand? We could almost buy our own ship for that", Luke said.
Han asked, "but who's going to fly it, kid! You?"
"You bet I could. I'm not such a bad pilot myself! We don't have to sit here and listen….", Luke said.
Obi Wan said, "we haven't that much with us. But we could pay you two thousand now, plus fifteen when we reach Alderaan."
Han asked, "seventeen, huh?"
Han ponders this for a few moments.
Han said, "okay. You guys got yourself a ship. We'll leave as soon as you're ready. Docking bay Ninety-four."
Ventress said, "ninety-four. Got it."
Han said, "looks like somebody's beginning to take an interest in your handiwork."
The others all turn around to see four Imperial stormtroopers looking at the dead bodies and asking the bartenders some questions. The bartender points to the booth.
Verosika whispered, "oh shit."
The stormtroopers look over at the booth, but the group is gone.
The bartender shrugs his shoulders in puzzlement.
"Seventeen thousand! Those guys must really be desperate. This could really save my neck. Get back to the ship and get her ready", Han said to Chewie.
….
Outside….
"You'll have to sell the speeders", Obi Wan said.
"That's okay. I'm never coming back to this planet again", Luke said.
Adam said, "never say never, Luke."
….
Back inside the Cantina….
As Han is about to leave, Greedo, a slimy green-faced alien with a short trunk-nose, pokes a gun in his side. The creature speaks in a foreign tongue.
Greedo asked, "going somewhere, Solo?"
"Yes, Greedo. As a matter of fact, I was just going to see your boss. Tell Jabba that I've got his money", Han said.
Han sits down and the alien sits across from him holding the gun on him.
"It's too late. You should have paid him when you had the chance. Jabba's put a price on your head, so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be looking for you. I'm lucky I found you first", Greedo growled.
"Yeah, but this time I got the money", Han said.
"If you give it to me, I might forget I found you", Greedo said.
"I don't have it with me. Tell Jabba….", Han said but Greedo Cuts him off.
"Jabba's through with you. He has no time for smugglers who drop their shipments at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser", Greedo growled.
Han said, "even I get boarded sometimes. Do you think I had a choice?"
Han slowly reaches for his gun under the table.
Greedo said, "you can tell that to Jabba. He may only take your ship."
Han growled, "over my dead body."
Greedo said, "that's the idea. I've been looking forward to killing you for a long time."
Han said, "yes, I'll bet you have."
Suddenly the slimy alien disappears in a blinding flash of light. Han pulls his smoking gun from beneath the table as the other patrons look on in bemused amazement. Han gets up and starts out of the cantina, flipping the bartender some coins as he leaves.
Han tells the bartender, "sorry about the mess."
….
Meanwhile….
We see Several TIE fighters approach the Death Star.
….
"Her resistance to the mind probe is considerable. It will be some time before we can extract any information from her", Darth Alatu growled.
An Imperial Officer interrupts the meeting, "the final check-out is complete. All systems are operational. What course shall we set?"
Tarkin said, "perhaps she would respond to an alternative form of persuasion."
Vader asked, "what do you mean?"
Tarkin said, "I think it is time we demonstrate the full power of this station. Set your course for Princess Leia's home planet of Alderaan."
A trooper said, "with pleasure."
Vader tried to say, "no, wait…."
But Alatu turned to glare at Vader.
He growled, "don't pull this shit again, Vader."
Vader remained silent after this.
….
Back on Tatooine….
Four heavily-armed stormtroopers move menacingly along a narrow slum alleyway crowed with darkly clad creatures hawking exotic goods in the dingy little stalls. Men, monsters, and the droids crouch in the waste-filled doorways, whispering and hiding from the hot winds.
C3-P0 whispered, "lock the door, Artoo."
R2 beeped as the droids and Satine hid.
One of the troopers checks a tightly locked door and moves on down the alleyway. The door slides open a crack and NED-B peeks out.
A trooper said, "alright, check that side of the street. It's secure. Move on to the next door."
The door opens, and C3-P0 moves into the doorway.
He said, "I would much rather have gone with Master Luke than stay here with you. I don't know what all the trouble is about, but I'm sure it must be your fault.
R2 and Lola make beeping sounds.
C3-P0 said, "you watch your language!"
….
Obi Wan, Sam, Luke, Ventress and the others are standing in a sleazy used speeder lot, talking with a tall, grotesque, insect-like used speeder dealer. Strange exotic bodies and spindly-legged beasts pass by as the insect concludes the sale by giving Luke some credits.
"He says it's the best he can do. Since the XP-38 came out, they're just not in demand", Luke said.
"It will be enough", Obi Wan said.
The group leaves the speeder lot and walks down the dusty alleyway past a small robot herding a bunch of anteater-like creatures. Luke turns and gives one last forlorn look at his faithful speeder as he rounds a corner. A darkly clad creature moves out of the shadows as they pass and watches them as they disappear down another alley.
Hordak said, "if the ship's as fast as he's boasting, we ought to do well."
….
In Docking Bay 94….
Jabba the Hut and a half-dozen grisly alien pirates and purple creatures stand in the middle of the docking bay. Jabba is the grossest of the slavering hulks and his scarred face is a grim testimonial to his prowess as a vicious killer. He is a fat, slug-like creature with a huge ugly mouth.
Jabba yelled, "come on out, Solo!"
"Right here, Jabba!"
This startled the pirates and made them turn around to see Han Solo and Chewbacca, standing behind them with no weapons in sight.
Han said, "I've been waiting for you, Jabba."
Jabba said, "I expected you would be."
Han said, "I'm not the type to run."
Jabba said, "Han, my boy, there are times when you disappoint me…. Why haven't you paid me? And why did you have to fry poor Greedo like that…. After all we've been through together."
Han said, "you sent Greedo to blast me."
"Han, why, you're the best smuggler in the business. You're too valuable to fry. He was only relaying my concern at your delays. He wasn't going to blast you", Jabba said in mock surprise.
"I think he thought he was. Next time don't send one of those twerps. If you've got something to say to me, come see me yourself", Han said.
"Han…. Han! If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice…. You understand I just can't make an exception. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business", Jabba said.
"You know, even I get boarded sometimes, Jabba. I had no choice, but I've got a charter now and I can pay you back, plus a little extra. I just need some more time", Han said.
Jabba said, "put your blasters away. Han, my boy, I'm only doing this because you're the best and I need you. So, for an extra, say twenty percent-"
Han said, "fifteen, Jabba. Don't push it."
"... okay, fifteen…. I'll give you a little more time…. But this is it. If you disappoint me again, I'll put a price on your head so large you won't be able to go near a civilized system for the rest of your short life", Jabba growled.
"Jabba, you're a wonderful human being", Han said.
….
Chewbacca waits restlessly at the entrance to Docking Bay 94. Obi Wan, Sam, Luke, Hordak, Prime, Ventress, Verosika, Adam, Lucifer, Bendy, Satine and the droids make their way up the street.
Chewbacca jabbers excitedly and signals for them to hurry. The darkly clad creature has followed them from the speeder lot. He stops in a nearby doorway and speaks into a small transmitter.
Chewbacca leads the group into a giant dirt pit that is Docking Bay 94. Resting in the middle of the huge hole is a large, round, beat-up, pieced-together hunk of junk that could only loosely be called a starship.
Luke said, "what a piece of junk."
Bendy elbowed Luke.
"Ow", Luke said.
Revan let out a snicker, while Sam rolled his eyes.
The tall figure of Han Solo comes down the boarding ramp.
"She'll make point five beyond the speed of light. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've added some special modifications myself", Han said.
Luke scratches his head. It's obvious he isn't sure about all this. Chewbacca rushes up the ramp and urges the others to follow.
Han said, "we're a little rushed, so if you'll hurry aboard we'll get out of here."
The group rushes up the gangplank, passing a grinning Han Solo.
Chewbacca settles into the pilot's chair and starts the mighty engines of the starship.
The large group moves toward the Millennium Falcon, passing Solo.
C3-P0 said, "hello, Sir."
Adam said, "sup."
….
Eight Imperial stormtroopers rush up to the darkly clad creature.
A trooper asked, "which way?"
The darkly clad creature points to the door of the docking bay.
The trooper said, "alright, men. Load your weapons!"
The troops hold their guns at the ready and charge down the docking bay entrance.
"Stop that ship", a trooper shouted.
Han Solo looks up and sees the Imperial stormtroopers rushing into the docking bay. Several of the troopers fire at Han as he ducks into the spaceship.
A trooper yelled, "blast 'em!"
Han draws his laser pistol and pops off a couple of shots which force the stormtroopers to dive for safety. The pirate ship engines whine as Han hits the release button that slams the overhead entry shut.
Han yelled, "Chewie, get us out of here!"
The group straps in for take off.
C3-P0 groaned, "oh, my. I'd forgotten how much I hate space travel."
The half-dozen stormtroopers at a checkpoint hear the general alarm and look to the sky as the huge starship rises above the dingy slum dwellings and quickly disappears into the morning sky.
Han climbs into the pilot's chair next to Chewbacca, who chatters away as he points to something on the radar scope.
The Corellian pirate ship zooms from Tatooine into space.
Han frantically types information into the ship's computer.
Little R2 appears momentarily at the cockpit doorway, makes a few beeping remarks, then scurries away with Lola and One-One close behind.
Han said, "it looks like an Imperial cruiser. Our passengers must be hotter than I thought. Try and hold them off. Angle the deflector shield while I make the calculations for the jump to lightspeed."
The Millennium Falcon pirate ship races away from the yellow planet, Tatooine. It is followed by two huge Imperial star destroyers.
Over the shoulders of Chewbacca and Han, we can see the galaxy spread before them. Luke and Ben make their way into the cramped cockpit where Han continues his calculation.
"Stay sharp! There are two more coming in; they're going to try to cut us off", Han said.
"Why don't you outrun them? I thought you said this thing was fast", Luke said
"Watch your mouth, kid, or you're going to find yourself floating home. We'll be safe enough once we make the jump to hyperspace. Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We'll lose them", Han said.
Imperial cruisers fire at the pirate ship.
The ship shudders as an explosion flashes outside the window.
Han said, "here's where the fun begins!"
Obi Wan asked, "how long before you can make the jump to lightspeed?"
Han said, "it'll take a few moments to get the coordinates from the navi-computer."
The ship begins to rock violently as lasers hit it.
Verosika said, "I don't think we have a few moments!"
Luke said, "she's right! At the rate they're gaining-"
Han interjected, "traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star or bounce too close to a supernova and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?"
Lucifer said, "he's got a point."
The ship is now constantly battered with laserfire as a red warning light begins to flash.
Alastor asked, "what's that flashing?"
Han said, "we're losing our deflector shield. Go strap yourself in, I'm going to make the jump to lightspeed."
The galaxy brightens and they move faster, almost as if crashing a barrier. Stars become streaks as the pirate ship makes the jump to hyperspace.
The Millennium Falcon zooms into infinity in less than a second.
….
Reviews:
SuperSentai199: I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Especially the opening.
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