Of Seals, Traitors and the Pursuit of Safety

by Alliottsall

The Elemental Nations were not a safe environment to live in, that much I knew from the start. But hell, if I could survive through two shinobi wars, I could survive Akatsuki too. And that wanna-be of a goddess. And Danzo. And - This world was severely lacking in therapists, that much was for sure. The ramen was great, though.

1. A day in the life of

Surprise! No idea what possessed me to write this in 2023, but here it is.
Sadly, Naruto and its associated properties do not belong to me.
Rating for language and canon appropiate violence. And it's gen, so no romance.
The first 5 chapters are the ones that I had already up on AO3, my upload schedule after that will probably be 1-2 a month because my other story still takes priority.

A day in the life of...

Humming to myself, I wandered through the market as I looked at the displays of fruit around me. After a few minutes I came to a stop in front of some promisingly ripe cantaloupes. I took one in my hands to inspect it. Coming to a decision, I turned to the seller who was eyeing the headband loosely tied around my neck with a healthy amount of skepticism.

"How much?"

"140 Ryo, are you really a shinobi?" the small portly man answered without looking up.

I sighed. I mean, it was my intention to seem somewhat weak and unassuming, but maybe I was a bit too good at it.

My attire was deliberately something most shinobi wouldn't be caught dead in. Literally. In most cases that meant the shinobi who wore it was extremely good at what they were doing. Except, the people who wore such outfits, like the Sannin or the Kage, were very famous, you could tell who they were from a mile away.

Clearly, that was not the case.

Honestly, I was probably offending fashion sensibilities in both this world and my old world with how I dressed. Under my short sleeved blue Haori I wore a dark yellow hoodie and black fingerless gloves. In contrast to pretty much any other shinobi ever, I opted for black socks under my Geta.

Even after years of being an orphan in wartime, nothing irritated me more than dirt between my toes.

My wide dark blue pants were the most normal piece of clothing I wore, even if my academy instructor would most likely have a fit if he saw that I never used bandages to bind the wildly flaying cloth down.

To round out the look, my hair was smooth and long, reaching to the back of my knees and boldly signaling my presence by being bright red.

Most of my clothes were deliberately big to obscure the muscles I had worked up while sparring with the Maitos.

"140? You are kidding, right?" I started the negotiation, knowing he thought me a rich young master that he could wring dry.

"And I'm a med-nin."

There. That usually shut the questions down. Med-nins were still mostly seen as weak, unless…

The shopkeeper's eyes went wide.

"So, you work with Tsunade-hime?" he asked excitedly.

I met his enthusiasm with a strained smile. Of course. Another one of those.

"Yes, I do occasionally," I answered. "Now, about that price…"

Like hell was I paying 10 bucks for a melon.

Satisfied, I entered my apartment complex, melon in hand. I was already at my door when I was interrupted.

"Uzumaki-san," a polite but cold voice greeted from behind me.

I groaned, bidding my lazy evening goodbye.

"Rochi-sama!" I exclaimed with clearly faked enthusiasm. "What can I do for you this lovely evening?"

To the casual observer Orichimaru's face didn't change, but I could see some of his cold mask break away to convey his exasperation at the nickname I had given him years ago. I think he came to like it over time. He used to chase me while trying to use me as a practice dummy at least. Progress.

"You know why I am here," the Sannin said in lieu of starting up an old discussion.

"Yeah, yeah," I threw over my shoulder as I entered my apartment and headed to the kitchen. "You only want me for my seals, no matter what the rest of shinobi population thinks."

I snickered when I turned around to catch Orochimaru's ugly face at what he knew to be widespread rumors.

"Come on, you have to admit, it's great cover for what we are actually doing. And it's incredibly funny how no one believes you when you say we work on seals," I bantered while preparing my melon.

Orochimaru hummed in vague agreement as he moved behind me to prepare his tea how he liked it.

It was still surreal to me that of all the Sannin, the Snake Sannin was the one I got along with best. Somehow, despite being both Fuuinjutsu masters, Jiraiya and I had never really interacted. Probably because of my main research field being medicine.

Which brought us to Tsunade. At the beginning, she had outright hated me for no apparent reason. I think she was jealous that I stole some of her cloud in the medical field?

It wasn't like anyone outside of the hospital had ever heard of me. The general population only knew her so well because she was the granddaughter of the Shodaime. Iryojutsu was usually not used in active combat, it wasn't flashy so nobody expects a lot from med-nins.

Anyway, I had been somewhat excited about Tsunade finally leaving the village so that I could at last have some peace while working at the hospital. To my disappointment, it seemed like that wasn't going to happen. Tsunade was married now; Dan survived the Second Shinobi World War with the help of one of my body suspension seals. The slug princess calmed down a lot around me after that. She still didn't like me though.

The good thing about Dan surviving and Tsunade staying was that Orochimaru wasn't as isolated. Danzo tried to approach the Sannin for his dubious research, but he had plenty of people telling him it was bad idea and other research partners (me!) to keep him on a somewhat legal track.

Also, Orochimaru had a deliciously dry sense of humor. Something I could appreciate.

"Yes, with the new Hokage being less indulgent towards me drawing too much suspicion would be a hindrance," I could hear Orochimaru's sneer as he spoke of the Yondaime.

Yikes, he was still not over that snub.

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't start sulking again or I'll throw you out. You didn't even want the job. It would have slowed your research down to a halt. And Minato is at least competent."

"Ah, it's Minato now? What happened to Namikaze-san?" Orochimaru sniffed and sat down across from me with a steaming cup of tea.

I looked to the ceiling, praying for patience while I tried to not hurt the Sannin's sensitive ego further.

"He is damn likeable, you know that. And it's never bad to have good connections to the Hokage;" I answered.

Now it was Orochimaru's turn to roll his eyes.

"You're just flattered by how much he fusses over your seals. What did you call it, fanboying?" the Sannin deadpanned.

I resolutely ignored how my blush confirmed his claim and stuffed a piece of cut fruit in my mouth, incomprehensibly grumbling.

With my specialty being medical fuuinjutsu it was nice to be recognized once in a while. And the Yellow Flash was legendary for his innovative use of seals.

"He knows to make nice with me. Kushina-chan is all about family after all. And if he wants to make her happy… ," I argued and looked at my friend meaningfully while popping another piece of melon in my mouth.

"So you are saying he's whipped," Orochimaru said drily and took a sip of his tea.

I promptly choked on the melon.

This. This was why I was friends with the snake.

Still quietly chortling, I went and fished out our research from the seals it was hidden in. We stored it with me because, even though it seemed like a normal apartment, I had it stacked with security and protection seals. And no one was insane enough to try and break into a fuuinjutsu master's living quarters.

I was helping Orochimaru figure out how to make himself (and me) immortal – hopefully without killing dozens of innocents. He approached me with ideas of collaborating after he saw my extensive works on time suspension seals in the medical field. It wasn't flashy and all that practical for combat (the target has to stay still for at least a few seconds for the seal to be applied), but it saved a lot of lives, and it had great potential.

Making me a valuable asset and less prone to being discarded, without drawing too much attention.

Working with the Sannin had come with a lot of advantages, mainly more resources (I never had to worry about ink and paper prices anymore) and another genius mind. Starting out, Orochimaru had a lot of catching up to do. His seals had been passable, but he never tried to go further with them because he was too narrowminded when it came to them.

I had the advantage of knowing how bullshit sealing was through, you know, another life in which I read and watched unbelievable time-space manipulation happen in this universe. And sealing was all about intention.

Unsurprisingly, it didn't take Orochimaru long before he could keep up with me. I was better, but still, impressive.

We had gotten quite far, I decided as I stared at our prototype seal. It permanently set the amount of stem cells and the length of telomeres in a perpetual time-loop.

See, cell death is a regular and normal thing. Trying to keep all cells of the body in a stasis would at worst turn you into a statue and at best prevent you from advancing. But cell reproduction is a bit like running a printer – eventually the ink is going to run out. The copies get worse and worse until they don't function in their original use anymore.

That was what we had prevented.

Which more or less took care of ageing. Of course, civilians would face other kinds of external ageing, but the continues use of chakra took care of most of that. No shinobi ever had skin cancer.

What we were still working on now was a way to enhance our regeneration in a fight to such a level that we weren't threatened by overwhelming power.

I already had ways to heal myself from just about anything, but firstly nobody knew that and secondly, I had nothing against helping my friend finding another way.

I held the additions I had drawn based on nature chakra absorption to the places they would belong on the seal in front of us.

Orochimaru looked skeptic.

"Are you sure that wouldn't just turn you to stone?", he questioned, being understandably cautious in regard to anything to do with nature chakra. Still, we had this discussion more than a few times.

"I think I have the right ratio now. I tested it out with a clone, and it worked just fine," I tried to assure him. He didn't look assured.

I rolled my eyes and started to undo my haori. I turned around and hiked up my hoodie to show the seal on my lower back.

"See? I'm fine;" I said.

Orochimaru hissed and rounded the table, taking a quick look at the seal and then running through multiple diagnostic jutsus. He watched me warily as if I would turn to stone at any second right in front of him.

"Are you insane?" he hissed again.

I idly mused that he tended to sound more snake-like when he was emotional.

"You could have killed yourself easily! You are even worse than that idiot Jiraiya. He would have at least run to Tsunade or me to brag. You would just turn to stone quietly until someone finds you in your office!" he lectured me.

I grinned.

"Your worry for me is truly touching. And you are not the right person to talk about experimenting responsibly," I reminded him.

"That is completely different, and you know it!" he snapped at me as he took a step back, not having found anything wrong with me.

"I would never unnecessarily risk my life in an experiment. I tend to know the outcome beforehand," Orochimaru sniffed haughtily and crossed his arms.

I pointed at him.

"Unnecessarily, you say. It wouldn't be an experiment if you knew everything 100 %. And as much as it pains you to admit, I am the fuuinjutsu master between us. I know what I am doing;" I argued.

We bickered back and forth for the next hour before the Sannin left. I knew he would be back in a couple of days to get the seal.

Even though I had been tired, now that I was laying in bed, I couldn't sleep. Instead I stared at the moonlit ceiling as I thought back on my decisions.

Being reborn had been quite the shock. I didn't remember dying, not exactly at least. There were just vague glimpses of pain and a crushing feeling on my lungs. Those seamlessly transferred over to being born. Which was almost as traumatizing.

Nature really hadn't intended for anyone to be conscious and self-aware at birth.

Although, the first two years of my life were more of a blur, like I had a fever the whole time. My body and my mind just could not cope with each other. When I was finally lucid, I went into a deeply depressed state. It took some time for me to try and pull myself together.

Thinking of my old life, of what I had lost, still hurt to this day.

Snapping out of my lethargy, I found myself in a small orphanage in Konoha. My new name was Takeshi, which startled me into a laugh the first time a caretaker called me that. I immediately thought of Takeshi's Castle. Apparently, I scared the elderly lady that watched me and the other brats because she dropped the small wooden kunais she had been trying to distribute to stare at me.

It soon became clear why. By the way the caretakers spoke even slower towards me than to the other children, I could guess that my apathy had made me look a bit … slow.

By the age of four I had done some collecting of intelligence i.e. I badgered the old woman with a million poorly worded questions in my abysmal Japanese.

I had no last name. It was quite common in the orphanages. As soon as I started the Academy, I would be assigned on of the standard names. I was curious about my parents, but Momoka-baa-chan could only shrug.

I had found out about being in Konoha in my apathetic stage, so that didn't surprise me. It made me cautious though. The information that Hiruzen was Hokage was easy to come by. Sadly, I knew that he was Hokage for a very long time, so that didn't tell me in which generation I was born into.

Getting Momoka-baa-chan to talk about the former Hokage wasn't that difficult. From her child friendly retelling of the foundation of the village and the first shinobi world war, I could gather that I wasn't that long into Hiruzen's reign and that there hadn't been a second world war yet.

The really interesting thing was that Mito Uzumaki, Hashirama's wife, was still alive and well. She had taken to staying out of the spotlight, though she did go to the park quite often to take walks and watch her grandchildren, or rather grandchild now that Tsunade was too old, play.

Elder gossiping women were a great source for that kind of intel, I discovered.

The explanation for me being so interested in Mito was quite simple. While I couldn't be sure, there was a good chance that I had at least some Uzumaki blood. My deep red hair spoke loudly in that aspect.

The shinobi world was deadly, extremely so. I knew of three world wide wars in the next 50 years and I did not want to take chances. My only choice was to become strong enough to survive.

At the same time, becoming strong would come with expectations, with new challenges and more dangers. So I resolved to keep my full capabilities on the downlow from the beginning. But I couldn't seem too expendable either.

The solution: fuuinjutsu.

While generally respected for being incredibly difficult and useful, it wasn't flashy and on its own didn't make for impressive shinobis. No shinobi skilled with seals in the series used them effectively in combat. They only became widely used in the 4th war as a counter to the resurrections.

Jiraiya? Mainly used ninjutsu and his summons to fight. Minato? Only really used one seal while fighting and was also lauded for his impressive grasp on ninjutsu considering he invented one. The Uzumaki clan had their chakra chains, longevity, great chakra reservoirs and whatever Karin's power set was about.

There was no Gai, someone who solely depended on one ninja art and was known for their fighting power.

So, my plan went as followed; I would specialize in seals, work in the background, learn barely any ninjutsu, only a bit more taijutsu, and would hide most of my chakra in seals.

My ultimate opening for this would be apparent Uzumaki heritage. While Uzushiogakure was still standing, as far as I knew at least, I was sure that Mito missed her clan. Hopefully that would lead her to take pity on a certain orphan.

With that in mind I started sneaking out of the orphanage and into the park. It was worryingly easy, but I couldn't really fault the caretakers. They were way too overworked anyway.

I snuck out daily for two months before I saw her. Mito was easy to spot, being a redhead and all. Her hair was put up with a hairpiece and had the same shade of red as mine. She wore a long flowing kimono that looked more expensive than the whole orphanage.

She moved slowly and elegantly. There was a feeling of age about her without the air of fragility that I was used to with elders. I could feel how powerful and assured she was. Her mouth was curved in a slight smile as she observed the playing children in the middle of the park, but her eyes were colored with melancholy.

I felt an immediate connection to the only family I had met in my new life.

Keeping to the shadows and corners, I huddled closer and closer to her. I was under no misconception that I could sneak up on her, but I knew she wouldn't see me as threat but as a curious child.

Finally, I stood on the path in front of her. She stopped and turned her head to me and away from the playground, still with smile on her face. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw me, or rather my Uzumaki-like features.

"I like your hair," I said with a cheeky smile, doing a good impression of a child that thought they just had said something really witty.

That startled Mito out of her speechlessness, and she laughed. It was a soft bell-like sound.

"And I yours," she answered, her eyes sparkling with mirth. "What is your name, little one?"

"Takeshi. And yours?"

"Mito Uzumaki. Say, are you here with your parents?" she asked with a gentle smile.

I looked down and wrung my shirt in my hands. I knew it would be interpreted as an orphan sad about not having parents, but I just felt bad for Mito because she clearly thought she had found some members of her clan.

Silently I shook my head.

"Live in the orphanage. Mamako-baa-chan doesn't know I sneak out sometimes," I mumbled.

"Ah. You shouldn't worry her then. Come, I'll bring you back," Mito said and held out a hand towards me.

I took it gladly and looked up at her with curious eyes.

"Ne, Mito-san, do you think we could be family? I haven't seen anyone else with our hair and Baa-chan said that is a family-trait;" I questioned her while trying to stick with more childlike vocabulary. I wasn't even five years old after all. Still, I feared the only thing that made me sound my age was the occasional wrong pronunciation and fumbling of the, to me, foreign language.

Mito smiled at me again.

"Maybe. Would you like that?"

I think I surprised myself just as much as Mito when I teared up. A second later I had buried my head in her kimono, silently sniffling. A second went by and Mito stooped down to pick me up, holding me against her chest. While I cried into the crook of her neck, she gently patted my back and started humming to calm me down.

When I wrestled my emotions back under control, I looked up at her. Before I could say anything, my stomach grumbled. I blushed as I realized that I had missed out on lunch again. Mito chuckled.

"Hungry, hm? Let's fix that," she said and made for the next street food stand.

All in all, it was a wonderful day.

I sighed as I blinked away the tears that had gathered in the corners of my eyes. Thinking about Mito-baa-chan had that effect on me. I tried to console myself with the thought that I still had Kushina-chan. I wasn't alone. But that got me back to my original problem.

In my original plan, I wouldn't have gotten attached. Konoha didn't hold my loyalty. The friends I made were seldom more than friendly acquaintances. There was a reason for that. Nearly all the people I came in contact with were shinobi. And I had lived through two wars. Not getting invested in anyone I didn't recognize from the anime had quickly become a way to protect myself from overwhelming grief.

Try as I may, I hadn't grown up with people around me dying all the time in my old life. It wasn't a strictly healthy coping mechanism, but it worked.

Now, the few friends I had made, I would have been ok with leaving them behind. Worrying about Orochimaru (yes, I counted the bastard as my friend) was pointless and he wasn't very loyal either. Me becoming a nuke-nin probably wouldn't even stop him from seeking me out for research sessions.

Gai on the other hand would take my theoretical dissention harder. He may understand where I was coming from, as long as I didn't try to hurt the village, but our friendship would be pretty much over. I could live with that, even if it left me with a heavy heart.

But Kushina? Kushina was family. And she was going to die if I left. Sure, I had been changing things. A couple of people were alive that shouldn't have been, others were still in the leaf when they should have left.

The difference I had made wasn't enough yet.

Madara was still out there, plotting my adorable little cousin's demise. Obito was in the wind too, believed dead after Kakashi didn't have one of my elaborate full body stasis seals with him during that fated mission (something I couldn't help but feel a bit bitter about). Nagato was building his power in Amegakure with Konan's help.

Too many people who would, sooner or later, come after Kurama. And for that they would go through the last of my family.

I was painfully aware that time was running out. Minato was Hokage, Kushina was gushing about how her best friend Mikoto Uchiha was already trying for her second child.

The only thing that kept me from panicking was that Rin was still alive. I had worked with the girl a few times over the years, mainly when she ran errands for me as a med-nin in training. When I asked her to be able to put a tracking seal on her that relayed her bodily condition at all times for research, she merrily agreed.

I caught myself checking the corresponding seal several times an hour.

I rubbed my face, exasperated with my own attitude. Reluctantly, I stood up and went to the bathroom, giving up on sleep for a few more hours.

I switched on the light and stood in front of the full-length mirror. With practiced movements I divested myself of my clothes. Slowly but surely more and more of my tattooed skin revealed itself.

The reason I wore that many layers was because I didn't want anyone accidently discovering the extend of my seal work. Only Orochimaru had a general idea and even he underestimated me vastly.

See, tattooing seals on your skin sounded like an extremely useful idea at first. But then, why did one not see that more often in shinobis? Well, they weren't totally insane, is the short answer.

The few seals I saw on the show that appeared on the skin all belonged into a special category. Minato's seal on Naruto, Orochimaru's seal on Sasuke, Kakashi's seal on that seal, they all had one important detail in common. The goal was to manipulate some form of chakra network.

Minato didn't put a seal on Naruto's stomach, he connected it to Naruto's and Kurama's chakra network. If you blew a hole through Naruto's stomach, the seal wouldn't be damaged.

In contrast, if you tattooed a storage seal on your hand and proceeded to chop your hand of, the seal would remain on the severed hand.

Why did that matter? Well, different types of seals came with different dangers.

The kind of seals that manipulated souls and chakra networks were incredibly powerful and usually only used in severe circumstances when the benefits outweighed the risks.

Now, most other seals had mainly one danger: explosions. Or implosions from time to time. A tiny infraction of a difference in line weight and you could be rid of your arm. There was a reason seals where usually pre-applied on paper tags or rolls. Understandably, most shinobi weren't willing to take the risk.

Not to mention that you would need a seal master, the only people to have enough practice and precision to get a seal on the first try, and those were in short supply after Uzushiogakure's fall.

In Konoha there were only Jiraiya, Minato, the couple of old bastards on the sealing squad and yours truly. You could properly make a case for Hiruzen being knowledgeable enough to qualify.

And the only one who wouldn't laugh a shinobi out of the door for that sort of request would be me, I mused as I ran a hand over the seals on my arm.

I mustered my work critically in the mirror. It looked impressive in my opinion.

Storage seals in strategic places, my longevity seal, gravity seals to train my body up without anyone noticing, …

And my crown jewel, a ring of yin seals that were laid out across my chest like a necklace. They were easily identified as such, the only seals on my body that were purple.

After years of badgering, I had convinced Mito-baa-chan to give me the scrolls on how to create them when I was 8. I started with the one in the center of my chest, slightly below my collar bone.

It was almost funny how many thought that I had tiny chakra reserves to this day. There were even some people who tried to convince Mito that I wasn't an Uzumaki because they thought I didn't have enough chakra. That was always funny to watch.

Mito Uzumaki had a lifetime of experience of dealing with people like Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha. She just stared at the people protesting me taking on the Uzumaki name until they quietly left the room.

Granny was awesome.

There was single yin seal on my forehead, mainly to shut down the doubts of my heritage. Technically anyone with sufficient chakra control, i.e. any med-nin or gen-jutsu specialist, could achieve at least one seal but I wouldn't be the one to explain the civilian council that.

Nowadays I covered that purple mark with make-up, the general population tended to think that I wore it as tribute to Tsunade. Fuck that.

If it hadn't been for my position as a healing-seal specialist, so firmly in the background, I wouldn't have been able to collect that much of my chakra in seals. Actively fighting in wars wasn't that conductive for being sparing with your output.

With another sigh I put my clothes back on and left the bathroom. Instead of uselessly laying in bed awake, I grabbed Mito-baa-chan's old sealing manuals and curled myself up on the window sill to read in the moonlight.

I woke up with sunbeams blinding me. Groaning I tried to soothe my aching neck. My back hadn't liked my chosen resting place either. Grumbling I made my way to the kitchen.

Slowly chewing on the inferior imitation of the bread I had been used to in my old life, I checked the time.

5.30 am. Early enough to go for a round of training with Gai.

Already slightly regretting my choice, I changed and made my way to the training ground I knew Gai would be at. I was still quite some distance away when I started to hear the occasional scream of "YOUTH".

Shaking my head with an exasperated smile, I entered the clearing in which the most Youthful shinobi of the leaf was currently doing onehanded handstands.

"Morning," I greeted him.

With a flip Gai righted himself and turned to me with a huge smile.

"And what a beautiful morning it is! My Youthful friend, how good of you to join me! Let us do some training!" he shouted, his teeth sparkling in the morning sun.

I nodded and lightly slapped myself with both hands to wake up more. Gai always invigorated me, so I concentrated on that to get in the right mood.

I stood up straight and gathered my Youthfulness. With determination I turned to my friend and training partner.

"Yosh! Let us run 100 laps around the village to warm up! Then we can spar!" I shouted with fire in my eyes.

I could see him tearing up at my resolve and he gave me his signature nice-guy pose with a bright smile.

"Your Youth shines bright as ever, my friend!"

I gave him the thumps-up back.

"You bring the best out of me, Gai!" I answered.

It wasn't even a platitude. I doubt I would have kept up with my exercise in peacetime if it hadn't been for me stumbling across the younger shinobi and his father while training years ago. We have been sparing and training together ever since.

With another shout, Gai took the front while I tried to keep up with him, attempting not to think to hard about how someone significantly younger than me, barely more than a child, could outrun me so easily.

Two hours later I laid panting on the ground, too tired to even hold my hurting side. It took all my remaining energy to put my hand to my broken rips and heal them with the Mystic Palm jutsu.

"You did great, my Youthful friend!" Gai complimented me with a bright smile and utter sincerity.

Not a hair out of place on that bastard. Sometimes I wondered if I would have a chance at besting him in taijutsu spars if I released the gravity seals on me. Probably not. I might be able to run away from him though.

To be fair, my form was more than up to Jonin standards, even like this. Gai was just a different kind of beast.

"Well, as much fun as that was," I said after catching my breath and full well knowing that Gai wouldn't catch the sarcasm in my words. "I have a meeting with Minato and the council in an hour. I have to get going."

"The civilian council?" Gai questioned with slight frown.

"Nah, I wish. It's Danzo and his band of wrinkled grapes," I said, a smile tugging at my lips at the thought of the three douchebags in a band named "The Raisins". With Danzo as the lead singer of course. Or was Hiruzen the lead and Danzo the jealous guitarist who thought he was the better singer?

Gai gave me a mildly disapproving look. He knew the bad blood between me and the advisors of the former Hokage, so he couldn't muster up too much reprimand.

"You should still be respectful, Takeshi," he tried weakly.

I snorted.

"I give those raisins all the respect they deserve. Which would be none."

Gai sighed.

"They only shut up about me being an Uzumaki after my clan went nearly extinct. All of a sudden having one of the last Uzumaki seal masters was worth the uncertainty of my heritage, fucking hypocrites," I ranted.

Gai, used to my slightly treasonous vitriol, just hm'd and ha'd at the right points.

"Anyway, wanna meet up this evening to get something to eat?" I asked.

"Not doing something with your cousin?" he countered surprised.

"Kushina-chan is out on a mission. She doesn't come back until next week," I said as I wrinkled my nose.

Gai gave me a sly smirk.

"Ah, for years you complained about how clingy she was and now look at you," he grinned.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. So, tonight?"

"I'll gladly meet up!" Gai shouted and gave me a thumps-up, fully back in his nice guy persona.

"Usual place, usual time then. See you, have fun annoying Kakashi-chan!" I called over my shoulder as I left.

I smiled when I heard him shout his goodbyes. Gai was always good for my mood. He was a great friend, even if he tended to get obnoxious at times. He could be quite serious too, he just preferred to be overly enthusiastic. It made enemies underestimate him and it did wonders to distract Kakashi.

My smile disappeared as I thought about the boy. It was easy to forget with Guy, because he was physically mature for his age, but Gai, Kakashi, Obito and Rin, they weren't even 15 yet. Children practically.

And Kakashi was far from healthy, mental-stability wise. He hadn't been totally ok ever since his dad had killed himself, but after Obito "died" and the whole Uchiha clan started looking at him with anger and disdain (even though they hadn't given a shit about Obito when he didn't have his sharingan) Kakashi was frequently spiraling.

Rin, Gai and Minato did their best at getting him into a better place, but that would take time. Time that they didn't have. Not that they knew that.

Kushina had told me quite a bit about that, even if I never really interacted with Kakashi. Neither of us were the most social of people.

Caught up in my thoughts, I absentmindedly showered and changed again before making my way over to Hokage tower. The chunin on secretary duty waved me directly through to Minato's office.

When I entered everyone was already there. Minato in his Hokage robes, Hiruzen, Danzo and the two raisins whose names I refused to learn.

Feeling exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with my early training with Gai, I waved at them as lackluster greeting. I ignored the disapproving frowns I got from the raisins, the scowl from Danzo, the slightly amused pipepuffing from Sarutobi and concentrated on Minato.

"Yo," I said.

"Good morning to you too, Takeshi-san," Minato greeted me with a smile.

I squinted at him. Damn sunshine personified. No wonder Danzo didn't like him. The old bastard prided himself on staying in the shadows after all.

"You should greet the Hokage with more respect!" raisin no. 1, female edition, nickered.

Normally I would tune her out, but I was feeling mischievous.

"Oh, Hokage-sama, thank you so much for calling on me! Good morning, Hokage-sama! It would be an honor to help you with anything, Hokage-sama!" I simpered in my best Littlefinger-impersonation while folding my hands in front of my chest and blinking at Minato like a lovestruck maiden.

He looked slightly traumatized but amused. I heard Sarutobi chuckling and the raisin's scandalized gasps.

Now, with the Sandaime I wouldn't have dared. But Minato? He was definitely more on my side than theirs. There was a reason why he got his advice from Shikaku and Fugato. Even if I didn't like the latter that much.

"What disres- ," raisin no. 2 started to sputter when Minato intervened.

"Now, let us all calm down and get started on the topic of the meeting," the reigning Hokage mediated the rising tempers.

"Telling me what this is about would be a great start. You know that, if this is seal related, I need time to prepare," I said, turning serious.

Minato sighed.

"I am aware. While we have some of that later, the majority of the meeting is about Orochimaru," he explained.

My brows rose. This was going to be interesting.

"The advisors have raised some concerns about his experiments. So I thought I would ask some of the people closest to Orochimaru. The Sandaime as his sensei and you because of, erm, the time you two spent together the over the years."

While Minato started out very serious, he blushed towards the end. It took all my concentration to not crack a smile at the Yondaime dancing around the issue. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Hiruzen was enjoying his successor's discomfort too.

In the whole of Konoha there were probably only three shinobi who didn't think Orochimaru and that weird Uzumaki from the sealing squad were an item; Hiruzen, Kushina and Gai.

Shinobi were terrible gossips.

Hiruzen knew his student better than that. Kushina knew I would have told her. And Gai was earnest enough to believe me immediately when I denied it the one time he had asked.

I was actually fairly certain that Orochimaru was asexual. He just got really weird when he was excited about research.

"I see," I said.

And I did. Danzo was trying to get back at, or preferably get rid of, Orochimaru and wanted to worsen the tension between the new Hokage and the Sannin. That was a very Danzo thing to do.

The discussion that followed would have turned more than a few hairs grey if that had still been possible. We argued back and forth, both Hiruzen and I on Orochimaru's side, the council of raisins on the other and an infinitely patient Minato as a mediator in the middle.

After three pointless hours everyone above the age of thirty left and I was alone with Minato.

I sighed and massaged my head as I tried to fend off a migraine.

"I really don't know what is so great about that hat of yours. It can't be worth dealing with these people on a regular," I complained.

Minato send me a tired smile.

"You should see the paperwork. But on a serious note, you seem to know what that was about?" Minato said.

I nodded.

"Danzo is pissed that Orochimaru turned his shady partnership down. Has been for a while. But he knew that the Sandaime wouldn't have done anything without solid proof. I guess he was banking on you being more receptive," I explained my view of the situation.

Minato sighed.

"Great. So you really think Orochimaru isn't doing anything underhanded?" he asked as he mustered me with suddenly quite piercing eyes.

"I can't be certain. He doesn't have the best moral compass. But he also doesn't have a reason to kidnap anyone and torture them like Danzo wants you to believe."

I couldn't in full confidence say that the Sannin was staying totally clear from shady experiments. It was still Orochimaru. He had one hell of a poker face.

Minato nodded, obviously getting caught up in his thoughts. While he was a tick naïve in believing that Orochimaru and I were in a relationship, something that was probably Kushina's fault, she thought of it as a funny prank, he was sharp enough to know that we also collaborated on research.

I was the closest to knowing what Orochimaru was working on.

Thinking I could use this situation, I started talking about his budget plan for the hospital and their seal supply. I didn't get very far though.

I froze mid-sentence and hurriedly fished out a card with a seal.

It was Rin's seal.

Minato wasn't even halfway through his question of what was wrong when I was already out the window.

What timing.

AN:

Normally, my chapter length is about 3.000 words and a bit, but I couldn't divide this one really so here it is all in one.
That part about immortality is my best attempt at bullshitting the science involved. Biology was never my subject, so feel free to give your two cents about that topic.
I really need to get around to getting myself a Beta for my stories...
So... What do you guys think? :P