I have no idea how long I spent in the water, lying on a damp wreck of a ship. Forever? An hour? Fifteen minutes? I completely lost the sense of time. Everything seemed to stop in an instant, froze. The screams that were heard in the first minutes after the sinking have now been replaced by silence, a frightening, dead, terrible silence.
The thin flame of hope that at least someone will come back for us is gradually burning out. I realized my doom and accept it.
I'm going to die here. With him. Without letting go of his hand. Forgetting about the promise.
And while thousands of souls found peace in the icy water, I found their reflection in the sky. I've counted more than twenty shooting stars already… I could still count. I could move my lips. And although it got worse every time, I continued to hum softly, like a lullaby for falling asleep:
Come Josephine in my flying machine…
Feeling something unexpectedly warm on my frost-covered eyelashes, I turned my head slightly to the right as much as I could do, given my stiffness in movement. It was like a shine. It did not look much like the light of a lantern or another light source familiar to me, it was not accompanied by any sounds, no one's voices, but for some reason I was sure: this is our salvation.
I was afraid to talk to Jack, I was afraid to find out that I was alone… I was afraid to discover that he…
Meanwhile, the light became clearer, as if it was approaching, but noiselessly, and more and more inspired hope. Only then, having made sure that it wasn't my imagination, I decide to look at my love. His bluish face remained motionless, his eyelashes were tightly closed, his stiff fingers were still tightly gripping my hand.
"Jack?" came softly from my lips.
I spent the rest of my strength on futile attempts to awaken him. Some part of me immediately realized that there was no awakening from this dream, and another part refused to believe, continuing to struggle, shake him and repeat his name.
"Jack" tears burned my frozen cheeks.
Jack...
Closing my eyes, I pressed my cheek against his hand for the last time. I tried to remember his warmth again, his beautiful smile, deep penetrating gaze and soft, sensual lips. I will leave it in my memory like this... alive. I will leave it in my heart and it will continue to beat for both of us.
I'll never let go. I promise.
The light was fading. I literally fell into the water from that damn piece of wood and remembered how to move again. I had to move, move forward, towards something... unknown. I'm making my way through a cluster of frozen dead bodies. I didn't know for sure if it was a lifeboat or something else, if it was real at all? Perhaps my imagination was playing tricks on me.
In any case, I didn't stop, I swam to where something else was faintly shining, I was ready to give up at any second, but I literally forced myself, each time mentally saying: "You promised Jack!"
The light disappeared, then reappeared. The closer I got, the more ephemeral it seemed, and now that I had already exhausted the reserve of energy that I had suddenly acquired at the beginning of my journey, I realized that the water was carrying me in a circle regardless of whether I was doing anything or not. I looked back, mentally abandoning my past, and gave myself up to the current. My body began to relax, filling with a pleasant warmth. Strangely, I completely forgot what fear was, realizing that I was in a whirlpool, rapidly pulling me into a wound that had opened in the ocean, a black absorbing hole. It was terrible and inexplicable phenomenon.
What's waiting for me there? Death? Pain? Unknown? Something worse? I don't care.
"It's too late to think, Rose. Just let go of yourself!" my subconscious said in Jack's voice.
The last thing I heard sounded from somewhere far away, as if from another life. It was a man's voice, he was shouting: "Is anyone here?". So it was a lifeboat. However, it was too late to save me. I found myself in the heart of a whirlpool...
and plunged into deep darkness.