Chapter 7

by Carycomic

GEMWORLD (THE PHANTOM STRANGER'S P.O.V.)

"Have you heard of... the Sorceress of Zoom?"

"No. No more than I've ever heard of you!"

I glared at this self-proclaimed Green Lama as I bluntly made that retort. He merely smiled in bemusement as he replied:

"Then, gaze into the waters of this oasis and I shall acquaint you with her."

True to his word, images began to appear in the water. Images of a young man in gold-and-blue armor (the antithesis of Dr. Fate's attire) and a young woman with super-speed like that of The Flash (and similarly costumed, too).

"These are her birth-parents; Dr. Chaos and Jessie Quick. They came from a morally inverted parallel-Earth that was on the verge of being engulfed by energies leaking through from a negatively charged universe. One adjacent to another multiverse so vastly different from either of ours that we would only be able to marvel at its contradictory nature! In any event, they attempted to flee here (more specifically, the Ruby Kingdom of Gemworld) using the hydrokinetic magic of a Fifth dimensional imp called Qwsp... and the power of the Ruby of Life. A gem for which they had killed their Earth's counterpart of Sargon the Sorcerer to obtain! That, however, proved their undoing."

"For that trio was intercepted by Magga the Mighty (nee Kathryn 'Kay' Tracy). A wizardess who is not only a female version of me; but, also, a superheroic version of the Blue Lama (who is to your Sargon what Catwoman is to Batman)! And, in forcing them to confront her, she actually distracted them from the ally she had secretly brought with her. The Bizarro version of Earth 3's Ultraman... and, with him, Ultraman's version of the Phantom Zone Projector. A device he immediately subjected them to, once he flew up from beneath the waters of Ruby Lake."

"Thus, were Dr. Chaos and Jessie Quick banished to a realm of eternal non-posthumous intangibility. While Magga's wizardry- -augmented by the Ruby of Life's power- -returned the impish Qwsp to the Fifth Dimension for the rest of all time. Or, at least, that was her hope."

I gazed at the Green Lama. "I take it that hope was somehow dashed?"

He forlornly nodded.

Meanwhile, the transmogrified body of Doris "Giganta" Zuel (currently under the control of Boston "Deadman" Brand) had been tumbling through pitch-blackness for what felt like an eternity. Was this what other mystics referred to when they talked about a bottomless pit? A rhetorical question, to be sure. But, Deadman had no other means by which to try and keep his sanity! All that interminable tumbling came to an abrupt halt, however, as his host body was suddenly grabbed by the scruff of her neck... and pulled upward. After that, came a flash of blinding white light! But, after a few moments of shielding Giganta's eyes with her paws, Deadman could see again.

And what he saw before him left him uncharacteristically speechless.

He saw an anthropomorphic, goatee-sporting rabbit- -wearing a green robe, black steel-rimmed glasses and a conical hat studded with moons and stars- -sitting on the right shoulder of a giant male stage magician in tuxedo and tails. Only the magician in question resembled a cross between the Frankenstein Monster. . .and Zatanna's deceased father!

"Greetings," said the rabbit. "I'm the Green Chinchillama.* Aka 'The Bunny Wizard' of Earth TRN-6201. Or, as we're more commonly called by the very young children of your world: Funny Talking Animaland. And this is my new friend, Zatarro. A Bizarro version of John Zatara created expressly to break the spell cast upon you both!"

This proved no idle boast as Zatarro soon demonstrated.

"Giganta from Deadman separate Let."

Whereupon, Deadman found himself once more in the open air. His ghostly form flying high and free in joyous circles around his most unusual liberators! But, Zatarro was not yet finished!

"Before was she as restrained, cell prison her to her return then, form human Giganta's Restore."

No sooner had Zatarro uttered these words than the reluctant were-rabbit disappeared from his left hand.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Deadman. "You guys are good. But, how did you know we were even in trouble?"

"I was sent a telepathic vision by your boss, Rama Kushna. I then did some the Fortress of Solitude, of your world's Superman, in order to borrow that imperfect cloning accelerator he confiscated from Lex Luthor. Following which, I borrowed a lock of Zatanna's father's hair, from her photo-album of him, and magically enhanced the cloning process. Modifying the speech center of Zatarro's brain so that he could clearly enunciate the required magic words without difficulty."

"You mean, words forward/sentences backward," the erstwhile acrobat replied.

"Precisely!"

"So, what happens, now? You zap us all back to my world and Zatarro breaks the spell on Zatanna?"

The Green Chichillama frowned. "I'm afraid it won't be as easy as that. Because what's happening on your world is merely an elaborate ruse. A massive misdirection meant to keep your resident superheroes from recognizing the true danger you're all in!"

There was an awkward pause before Deadman asked the logical next question. "What kind of danger are we talking about?"

At that same moment, the fringe-dwelling chaoticist called Anarky looked deep within the bowling ball-sized diamond known as "the All-Seeing Eye of Khotan" (which he had long ago looted from the personal effects of Jock "Merlin" Kellogg). And he sighed over the beautiful, brown-haired (and somewhat scantily clad) woman he saw within it.

"All that, plus phenomenal magic powers, too."

His feline familiar arched her back and hissed in outright jealousy. Causing Anarky to reply in a highly amused tone of voice.

"Relax, my pet. Those attributes are merely gravy. The meat of the matter still remains winning her approval to be her husband. Or, at least, long enough to get back to where we truly belong!"

tbc

*Green Chinchillama: probably my most convoluted in-joke, yet. You see, when Fawcett Comics first created "Hoppy the Marvel Bunny" as an FTA version of Billy Batson for younger readers, back in the Golden Age of Comics, the character of the Bunny Wizard was merely assumed to be a lagomorphic version of the wizard Shazam. Yet, in every image capture I've been able to find on the Internet, from Hoppy's origin story, BW is wearing a green robe! Not blue. So, this raised the question; what domestic breed of real-world rabbit has a name that best lends itself to being amalgamated with Jethro Dumont's alter-ego? That's when it hit me; the chinchilla rabbit! In this case; one who had studied the Tibetan wizardry of... Himalayan rabbits.

We now briefly pause to let "Hare-E2" stop groaning.