ASSETS

Wisps of frost curled off Todoroki's fingers and vanished into the air. Seconds later, an IRS agent kicked down the door and tackled the test dummy.

As the agent handcuffed and shoved the dummy out of the room, Aizawa asked, "Who else did you use that on?"

All for One savored the last succulent piece of steak on his plate. At his nod, Kurogiri sent the video of his dinner to All Might. Living well was the best revenge.

"The bill, sir?"

One for All held up a credit card. "Give yourself fifty-thousand."

"You are too kind."

All for One settled into his chair and pondered if he should get some cheesecake. Moments later, the waiter returned.

"Please forgive me, sir, but it appears the credit card has been rejected."

All for One sighed. "Shigaraki must have maxed it out again. Remind me to deactivate his Steam account when I get home." He handed the waiter another credit card. To his chagrin, the waiter returned.

"This one as well, sir."

All for One felt a twinge of panic. Having that credit card, meant for emergencies, maxed out, could only mean his assets were under attack. "How terribly embarrassing. Heads will roll for this. In the meantime, allow me to write a most generous check."

With the ink still wet on the check, the waiter ran it through, only to get an error message immediately. "The check bounced."

His overseas accounts, emptied? Even the IRS didn't know those existed. He took out his wallet. He hadn't used cash in decades, but age had taught him to never fully trust the banks. He handed the waiter a bill older than most people. The waiter opened the register and tried shoving the money inside. Bent in half and frozen that way, the bill got stuck no matter how he turned it.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir, it appears even your physical assets are frozen."

All for One went numb with shock. All his money, gone, and an expectant waiter staring down like St. Peter himself, ready to consign him to eternal damnation. He turned to Kurogiri. "Wash dishes for them until-"

"Shigaraki needs me." Kurogiri vanished in black smoke.

All for One turned nervously back to the waiter. "Do you accept payment in Quirks?"

The waiter took out a phone. Five seconds later, a whole squad of IRS agents kicked down the door.

"Freeze! Surrender your tax forms and your kneecaps shall be spared!"

All for One pointed and shouted, "Look! A small business didn't pay taxes on an overseas shipment!"

The IRS agents dogpiled a hot-dog cart owner. All for One slipped away, only to get confronted by the waiter.

"Don't make me hurt you," he warned. "I am All for One, Japan's greatest-"

All for One glumly stacked the last cleaned plate. The waiter nodded and said, "You truly are Japan's greatest dishwasher. Now get out."

Later, All Might howled with laughter as he watched All for One's credit cards get rejected.

500

Meanwhile, Momo has a very different problem with frozen assets.