Would You Let Me Back In?
Summary: "Would you… Kill her for that?" "You believe there's good inside there?" "I know there is. I've seen it. I wish she'd give herself a chance to be that person again…" "If she wanted to be good… would you let her back in?"
Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time or any of its plots and characters. All rights belong to ABC Studios. This is simply for entertainment purposes.
I wake up, startled as I feel a hand touching me. Immediately, I grab onto the arm that is above me, not too interested on being killed just yet. I don't know where I am, how injured either, nor do I know who is above me. For all I know, it could be a man attempting to have his way with me. However, a voice that I hadn't heard in such a long time strikes my hearing. "Don't move. You need to lie still…" No. It can't be. I shift my gaze, still on my side, now entirely in disbelief as my eyes lock with her green ones. "You have a fever," she continued. "A dirty blade will do that. Oh…" When she retracts her hand, I notice the damp cloth in it. My body does feel sluggish and cold but that was no where near my priority.
"Snow White," I manage to say, the bitterness, resentment, anger all in my tone, the surprise gone in that very instant. She doesn't pick up on it for she merely dabs my forehead again after wetting it. Her tone is gentle when she goes to speak again.
"What's your name, honey?"
Right. I shift my head, attempting to conjure up a name in that split second. If I want to get away with this, I don't need to immediately get caught in the act. I don't look like myself. Rumple's spell must be working a bit too well, mainly the reason I'm here in the first place. Think. Think. What's a humble name? Elisabeth? No. Sarah? No… I hesitate before one pops up. "Wilma." Perfect. She seems none the wiser. And just to top it off… "My family works in the mill."
I see the faintest shadow of a smile. "Nice to meet you, Wilma," Snow says, her voice fill with sincerity. I watch as she pulls away, no longer leaning over me. She stops before fully doing so. "You're going to live, by the way." I watch as she turns, grabbing something that I can't make out all too well. Now a new thought pops up.
"How long…" I attempt to move, a grunt escaping as a sharp pain rushing through the left side of my body, my left thigh being the origin. "How long until I can get up?" I pull my upper body up, grabbing a pillow so that I can be elevated at the very least and see what is going on around me.
"Two days." It sounds more like a question on her behalf. "Picked a good place for it though. Fresh water, healing herbs," she crumples up some, allowing them to fall into a bowl as she speaks. "Some not bad hunting if you don't mind killing the royal livestock which I don't." That part shocks me entirely. Her? Hunting? The little princess that almost died to a horse? That thought is ludicrous to me.
"You don't know how to do that." I turn my head, realizing my mistake as she stops, looking at me curiously. She doesn't look suspicious, nor angry, not even offended, just confused. "Oh… I… Um," I stutter, shifting. Fuck. How do I make it seem that I haven't lived with her for years? I tilt my head, my voice softening. "You were a princess," I manage to come up with. There. She relaxes, going back to her herbs.
"Someone from another forest taught me," she speaks, focusing on her work. "It's a long story." She finishes, tapping the bowl and putting the instrument aside. Her voice tells me that the story wasn't exactly the happiest. I can't help the curiosity that starts to grow within me. I decide not to dwell on it, changing the subject as a new question appears.
"There are people hunting for you. It's dangerous for you to be here," I bring up, her eyes finally locking with mine. "Why are you helping a perfect stranger?"
She hesitates herself and ignores my question. I conclude she doesn't have a good enough reason. "I'm going to bathe your wound but it's going to hurt. So… Just listen to me." A gentle smile appears on her lips. "Kay?" So she is going to answer my question Now I truly wish to know. "It's easier if you're distracted." She turns to the pile of fur and cloth that is over me, shifting them. I feel the cool air hit my leg, an invisible shudder rushing through my body. Now focusing on the wound, I feel the painful throbbing, now realizing that she must have bandaged it while I was unconscious.
"When I was younger, the horse I was riding ran away with me." She begins to undo the cloth, blood only soaking through the bottom layer. "I was about to be thrown. Would have been killed." I stop, the contact of her hand sending pain in the wound, my breathing hitching. I didn't even know how bad it was until now, blood draining away from my face. My breathing picks up in pain as Snow reaches for the bowl she set aside. So that was the purpose of it. "This woman. She had no idea who I was. She came charging after me." She presses the mixture she made against the stab and I can't help the hiss of pain that escapes the back of my throat. I hold back a curse, my eyes clenching shut for a few moments. I glance up, my gaze immediately locking with Snow's. "She saved me," she states and I feel something in my chest spur that I hadn't felt for the absolute longest time. I stare into her eyes. They are gentle, fill with compassion, warmth. "She risked her own life… It changed me…" She returns her attention back to my stab, leaving me with my thoughts for a few seconds as I watch her, wondering what the catch is, wondering what her motive is.
Snow White. The fairest in all the land. The kindest, most gentle person one could ever meet. I scoffed at the ridiculous idea before but now, as she speaks. I begin to question my own beliefs, my own perspective of the young woman in front of me. There wasn't any way that anyone could be so pure. It was impossible. It had to be. My thoughts are interrupted as she continues on. "My mother always told me to keep goodness in my heart and this woman proved that she was right." I don't even feel her pressing a clean cloth to my wound, only noticing when she asks if I'm alright.
I nod, a quick smile forming, startling me even. "I'm good. I'm listening." I speak easily, leaning back once again, a strange feeling of comfort and relaxation falling over me. "… Changed you?" I inquire, the words slipping past my lips before I could stop them. She smiles, nodding.
"Yes," she whispers out, a gentle twinkle in her green orbs. "Taught me that there can be a genuine selfless connection between people. Even strangers." Hurt, guilt, sadness forms in my chest, a tear rolling down the side of my face. And for the first time in years, I didn't feel anger towards her. I feel… Understanding… love… I remember when I first saved her. I had saw the relief in her eyes, the gratitude as I held onto her, ensuring she was safe. She was so thankful, so innocent. I remember it as though it was yesterday. I… cared for the child the moment I saved her, as though she was my own. But the moment Daniel died, I was so upset, so angry, especially when I found out she had told my mother. I was angry. I was… I took it out on her and… she remained good, through all the shit that happened, everything I fucking put her through. I suppress more tears that threaten to flow, taking in a shuddery breath, hoping that she thinks it's because of pain.
I feel the material go back over as she finishes, sighing softly in return. "There. I'm done," she smiles, being careful. I miss her. I know that now. I've missed so much about her but how… Do I tell her?
I stare blankly ahead, a question escaping. "What happened to her?" She turns to me and I add something quickly. "This stranger…"
"She's gone," she speaks gently, passing me a jug of water. There was pain in her voice, a sense of loss. "Oh, but I hope she comes back some day." She stands and turns, leaving me alone in the tent. I notice the weapons she has on her. A bow with arrows, a sword attached to her side, a crossbow of sorts on her back. She is very well-armed and she seems to know what she's doing.
I sigh and sit up, looking around the tent fully, staring at the leather and fur from animals she no doubt killed. There's a pile of meat in the corner, salted to prevent it from spoiling. I take a piece, looking over it. Mutton. She did say she didn't mind killing the royal livestock but I can't help but wonder if she took it or if it was given to her.
Next to the mutton is wool. Clean and expertly sheered. A farmer must have sheered it. Either that or she did it herself which would be another surprise for me. I sigh and collapse, ignoring the throbbing that slowly fades into a dull, irritating feeling, much like I was being pinched.
I stop, something catching the corner of my eye: a silver glint. I groan as I move forward, able to grab it nonetheless. I stare at the figurine of a horse, holding the pendant in the palm of my hand. She kept it. After all those years, she kept it. I remember that I had given it to her on her birthday, managing to get it custom made for her. She absolutely loved it when I gave it to her. She was thrilled and I was overjoyed at her reaction.
A small smile crosses my lips as I run my thumb over the silver, the letters S.W. engraved at the bottom of the front hooves. I move it in my hand, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion. It belongs to a chain, a necklace. Where did it go? I'm surprised that she didn't lose the pendant to begin with. Perhaps it had broke and she was unable to salvage it. I press a kiss on it before setting it down, returning it to where it was to avoid any suspicion.
Fatigue washes over me as I drink the water, realizing that I am actually parched. I clear my throat, setting the jug down and relaxing. I allow my eyes to close, comfortable where I am, the furs helping me keep my warmth. Maybe this won't be so terrible.
I am left alone in the tent for the majority of the day. I manage to get enough strength to sit against a tree, watching the rays of the setting sun pass through the branches, a warm glow filling the forest despite it being the beginning of winter. I forget how wonderful it is to be surrounded by nature. I'm always coped up in the castle, forgetting the beauty of it all.
However, as the sun disappeared and the sky grew darker, a ping of worry forms in my chest. Snow has yet to come back. I look around, wondering what direction she went. I stop myself, shaking my head. I shouldn't be worried. If she doesn't come back, that means I get what I want. Her death. Snow White will finally be dead A chill runs through my body, that thought suddenly uneasing me. I can't like her. But she's so genuine. She reminds me of Daniel in a sense. No. Stop it. Fucking stop. Her and Daniel are incomparable. Daniel is Daniel. Snow killed Daniel. No. She didn't. My mother tricked her. She was a child. I can't blame it on her. I can't. All I have to blame is Cora.
I sigh, leaning back. She saved my life. I saved her. We're even now. I stop when I see a figure walk up. She greets me with a warm smile. I haven't been smiled at for the longest time. It truly feels nice. "Seems like you got some of your strength back. How are you feeling?" Snow inquires, sitting down next to me.
"Better," I casually reply. "My leg feels a whole lot better. Thank you."
"It's really nothing. You don't have to thank me," she answers, beginning to start the fire up once again.
"Why shouldn't I? I'm a complete stranger that you know absolutely nothing about and you nursed me back to health. I owe you my life."
"You owe me absolutely nothing but your well-being," Snow states simply, stoking the fire with a large branch. I watch as the fire glows back to life, the warmth making its way towards me. My muscles relax and I close my eyes, my breathing evening out. "Are you feeling better, fever wise?" I feel a cold hand on my forehead and I stop her.
"Hey. Your hand is freezing. Are you alright?" I worriedly inquire, taking her hands in mine, rubbing them to warm them.
"Yeah. I just have to stitch up my gloves. I'm okay. I promise," she reassures me, squeezing my hands.
"Are you certain? You seem frigid." The part of me shows that I thought I had tucked away. The only part that Snow has ever seen.
"Yes, Wilma. I'm fine," she reiterates. "Come in the tent. It's getting colder and I don't want you freezing out here." She stands and I feel the emptiness besides me. Normally I'm used to it but it hurts this time around for some particular reason. She looks down and holds a hand out. "Do you need help getting up?"
I hesitate, watching her cautiously, as though this is some kind of trick of hers. I don't know why but my feelings and thoughts are all awry. One moment I hate her, next I feel sympathy, anger, guilt, sadness. I'm not used to all these feelings. I'm better at shoving them back. She notices my hesitation and I'm thinking that she was going to let me go inside myself. However, I do not expect her to kneel down and take me in her arms.
My eyes widen as I'm now in her strong, yet gentle grasp. I simply don't know how to react. I never would have assumed that Snow White, out of anyone, would be strong enough to lift me up.
"Are you alright?" she inquires as she easily carries me inside.
"Y-yeah. You… You're just surprising me," I admit, a faint blush forming on my cheeks.
"How?"
"I didn't expect you to be able to pick me up. I mean, I'm not exactly light."
"But you're not heavy," she responds in return. "I've managed to get my strength up. I can't hide as well if I can't reach high places quickly. Upper body strength helps greatly." She sets me down gently on the bed of furs and hides. "Do you mind looking away?" she asks and I nod, turning to provide her modesty. I hear the shuffle of clothing and tilt my head, sneaking a peak or attempting to. I stop myself. What the Hell is wrong with me? Maybe I want to see if she's built. Maybe I'm curious if she's hiding any scars. I mentally scold myself, cursing in my head. What the actual fuck is going on with me? Why am I doing this? Why am I behaving so strangely? I truly don't know and I am slowly growing more worried each passing moment.
"Alright," she sighs, giving me the indication that it's alright to look now. I sigh in response, turning my head.
When she lays down to sleep, I stare at the sword that is lying against hay. I now turn my attention to her,, seeing her eyes closed as she rests, her breathing evening out. She has no clue, not the faintest idea of who I am. She's oblivious. As soon as she falls asleep, I can kill her. Right here. Now, after all these years, I can get what I want. But something inside me tells me otherwise.
My fingers itch for the sword before I grab it after ensuring she was asleep. I shift my gazes between her and the heavy iron in my hand. The sword was obviously not cheaply made, and she really did need to have some sort of strength to her which she already demonstrated to me. I actually marvel her strength.
I watch as she sleeps through the dimness of the light provided by the campfire outside. I can do it. Right here. No one would know it was me either. But something tells me not to. After all, she is helping me. Right. I'll let that be my excuse for the time being. Also, I'm injured. If I kill her now, there's a chance that I die here too. Rumple might refuse to show. I don't exactly trust him with anything.
I make up my mind and sigh, setting the sword down and closing my eyes and falling asleep quite easily to my surprise.
When I wake, I'm greeted by the smell of beef stew by my side. Snow is already up, sharpening her sword. She glances up and smiles. "Hey. You're up. Do you feel any better?"
I nod, my stomach grumbling. She hears this and gestures to the soup. "Eat. Please. You need to get your strength up."
"Thank you," I whisper, taking the bowl in shaky hands, managing not to spill any as I begin to eat. I'm surprised by the flavor. I figured it to be bland but it's good. Don't tell me that she's a cook now too. It's silent in the tent, the only sound being the fire outside. "… Are you leaving here again?" I inquire.
"Yeah. But not for long. There's a town down here not too far. I'll see if I can get some bread, maybe some fish if I'm lucky."
"Aren't you worried that someone might turn you in?"
"No. Besides, I've gotten my way out of messes before. If I'm really not fit to leave, I wouldn't. I also know what areas to avoid," she hums easily as she rubs the cloth over the blade, managing to get some shine back to it. I watch in silence before attempting to get up.
I'm stopped by a gentle hand on my shoulder and I glance up at Snow. "What are you doing?"
"I want you to rest up for today. We're gonna start traveling tomorrow and I think that it would be in your best interest to rest."
"Where are we going?"
"We're heading to another kingdom. I have to meet up with a few friends and then plan our next course of action."
"How long until we get there?"
"I'd say a week if we have no interruptions. If we do, two weeks." She takes off some meat, handing it to me.
"This is an awful lot of meat, isn't it?" I take it regardless.
"Yes but you need it to heal. Unfortunately, I'm unable to get some of the more basic necessities, even in the village."
"What about markets?"
"I don't have any coins and I'm not a fan of stealing," she admits, grabbing the leather bag and putting some items in it. She notices the stallion, cursing underneath her breath. "Damnit." She grabs a dagger, slicing a piece of leather, skillfully creating a band. She attaches it to the figurine, now putting the necklace on before returning to packing.
"The… pendant. What is it?" I know full well what it is but I want to hear her perspective about it.
"A horse. The woman who saved me gave it to me. It used to have its own strap but it broke off. If I'm doing something risky, I usually put it somewhere safe. If not, I wear it. I consider it a good luck charm. It has a lot of love attached to it and I would never willingly give it up to anyone."
I nod as she speaks, staring at the pendant. I am admittedly touched that she cares so much about it. I suppose I have a lot to think about.